Details
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AboutSystems Engineer, Former Software Engineer, SA *nix Sysadmin, Former Hotel IT support, Programming Tutor, college graduate . I am me.
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SkillsSwift, C, C++, Kotlin, Python, Java, BASH, COBOL, REXX, JCL, Go
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LocationMy own basement
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 10/6/2016
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So my department is "integrating CI/CD"
Right now, there's a very anti-automation culture in the deployment process, and out of our many applications, almost none have automated testing. And my groups is the only one that uses feature branching - one of the few groups that uses branching at all beyond "master, dev"
So yeah... You could see how this is already ENTIRELY fucked from the very beginning.
First thing they want to do is add better support for a process... Which goes directly against CI/CD.
The process is that to deploy to production (even after it is manually approved by manager), someone in another department needs to press a button to manually deploy. This, as far as I can tell, is for business rule reasons rather than technical ones.
They want us to improve that (the system will stay exactly the same with some streamlined options for said button pressers)
I'm absolutely astounded at the way our management wants to do something but goes in exactly the opposite direction. It's like the found an article of what CI/CD was and then took notes on exactly what not to do.25 -
Finally made the switch. Full-time Linux everywhere! I figured out that all games I play already have Linux support since some time^^
And it feels good! So fast *_*2 -
Just asked some bloke at work if he's into computers, and he said yes.
I asked him what languages he likes.
He responds 'Linux'.
I now knew he was bullshitting, so I asked him what compiler he uses.
He said binary.
Can I rip his teeth out and make a twat-tooth necklace now?10 -
F*** all this motivational/inspirational shit going on nowadays. We don't need cold showers, wake up 4:30 AM, or sacrifice time with loved ones just because our ego wants to be successful.
What if I don't want it, what if I just want to BBQ some chickens, drink Red Bull, and watch some Netflix shows until I die.
I don't want to own a Lamborghini, big apartment, live in a warm place with a nice view over the blue ocean, etc. This is just an illusional life-style story that every single person in the world wants, and the reason is so media and commercial companies can trick people to buy whatever they want.
I don't give a shit, we'll all die someday, I don't need these things in my life to make me feel happy or complete. I've seen people with everything, yet they commit suicide because the inner self is broken.
Just be happy with whatever you have, and stop going after things that won't really make you happy. The fact you have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to feel is worth billions in itself.
Wake up.19 -
It is the year 2022.
We have multiple robots on Mars.
We have mRNA vaccines.
JIRA does not yet have a dark mode.13 -
Manager: I can’t believe you use Linux, that is such an outdated operating system. You need to get with the times and move to a more modern one like Windows or Mac. Literally NOBODY uses Linux anymore, do you still go to Blockbuster Video too? Ha!
Dev: …
I’m starting to realize that 80% of my job is resisting the urge to punch this guy in the face. Thanks goodness for remote work.33 -
Windows is a god damn abomination of a OS. Fucking let me download that one game from the shitty developers that add EAC for no reason. Fucking stop hogging every resource and let steam work. Fucking stop crashing like wtf how is this considered stable. Stop fucking downloading updates. You amount to nothing than playing games made by cunts. There is no valuable information on this system and I have no problems nuking it all.11
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Dev: Your PR only addresses a quarter of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 1/2 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for a separate ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses half of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 3/4 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses 3/4 of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now all of the ticket is addressed but two new bugs are introduced and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR introduces 2 new bugs
Dev2: *limps a commit addressing one of the two new bugs and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR still has one bu—
Manager: WOW GOOD JOB DEV2 THAT’S 5 PRs TODAY AMAZING! Dev you need to pickup the pace, you only have 2 PRs so far today. And get these PRs from Dev2 QA’d fast. He’s a rockstar!
Dev: …
*The 4 other PRs turned out to be equally dogshit*
Manager: Hey hurry up with QA, you’re holding Dev2 back!
Dev: …7 -
My AP Computer Science teacher changed my life in 2001. Until then, I wasn’t considering a career in development. He challenged me to write a back propagating multi layer perceptron neural network, and an RPN calculator. Every day made me think about how to solve problems at an algorithmic level. He was brutally honest, and one of the reasons why I’m an team manager now. RIP, your legacy won’t be forgotten.5
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Product: Hey, this screwdriver feature I never requested isn’t there. Why? Can you fix it? It’s kinda urgent.
Product: @Root please jump on the ticket above … fairly urgent.
Root: It’s Friday, I’m out next week, and I’m working on finishing <urgent comma ticket> right now.
Boss: Work on the screwdriver instead. But make sure you finish the comma ticket too!
Boss: By the way, I volunteered you for eight security reviews next month!
Security: You’re on call for AWS audits next month, too!rant just look at her she’s doing fineee she can handle everything she can handle it everything is urgent just dump it all on root10 -
Manager: Why aren’t you working?
Dev: I am, I’m just not typing because I’m thinking an issue out.
Manager: Well what is taking so long? You haven’t written any code for like 15 minutes, you’ve just been doodling on your notepad.
Dev: I’m not “doodling”. I’m taking notes and trying to visualize the issue. It’s a complicated issue with application stat—
Manager: Well just simplify it then
Dev: ?
Manager: Instead of making it a complicated issue just simplify it and then it won’t take you so long. You’re likely overthinking it, I never spend more than 30 seconds thinking about any issue before coming up with a solution. That’s what makes me so effective at my job is my ability to be lean like that.
Dev: …this issue is a bit harder than deciding what to have for lunch26 -
In the distant year of 2022.
Safari changes its logo to more appropriately reflect its position as the new Internet Explorer.
Chrome monopolized the spyware market and is facing another antitrust investigation.
Mozilla finally managed to fire all the developers working on Firefox and replaced them with highly trained dead monkeys.
Brave successfully consolidates itself as a cryptocurrency wallet and leaves the browser space.
Edge has two new users.
Who the **** is Vivaldi8 -
YELLED AT FOR 45 FUCKING MINUTES OVER OTHER PEOPLE’S FUCKUPS
IF YOU PIECES OF SHIT WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING, FUCKING SAY IT. WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN IN THE FUCKING TICKET.
AND IF YOU WANT A FUCKING DEMO, SCHEDULE THE FUCKING THING, AND STOP FUCKING CANCELING THEM. DON’T BLAME ME WHEN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FINGER ON THE FUCKING CANCEL BUTTON EVERY. FUCKING. WEEK.
AND SERIOUSLY, DON’T FUCKING EXPECT ME TO DROP MY LAST FUCKING TICKET THE AFTERNOON BEFORE VACATION FOR SOME LOW-PRIOIRTY CRAP BECAUSE SUDDENLY IT’S ALL THE RAGE INSIDE YOUR TINY DUMBASS HEAD. BUT OH BOO FUCKING HOO, @ROOT DIDN’T DO WHAT I ASKED WHEN I WAS BEING A FUCKING MORON! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING STUCK-UP IDIOT
AND FUCK BOZO THE CLOWN BOSS FOR BLAMING ME FOR THE FUCKING IDIOT’S BRUISED FUCKING EGO
FUCK THE LOT OF YOU39 -
Real life job interview…
Manager: what about this problem? Could you solve it? (Showing me a problem about scanning a 2d array to find a value written on a piece of paper)
Me: sure! Just give me a piece of paper and I will write a solution.
Manager: no need for that. I don’t have the knowledge to check that anyway… if I wanted you to solve it I would have called one of my programmers.
…
Manager: do you have any question about the company?
Me: What do you exactly do in the company? I wonder what is the purpose of a person that makes questions about things he doesn’t know.3 -
Hey everyone,
During some backend improvements to the devRant infrastructure, some of our async queue processors (SQS) stopped working which caused many notifs to not go out/stop working. Unfortunately our alerting didn’t pick up on this since there were still queues being processed (just not specific ones) and some aspects of notifs working. Big apologies for this issue!
It is now resolved, and while very delayed, no notifications were lost and all were processed after the queue processors started up again. Sorry for the bulk notifs, but we wanted to make sure all that were supposed to go out went out.
Additional alerting will be put in place to prevent this from happening again.
Thanks for your patience!16 -
The time has come.
Today, I am giving everyone full public access to my devRant client for everyone!
In order to install the client, you need to install TestFlight and then open this link:
https://testflight.apple.com/join/...
This will let you join the public alpha/beta.
Please note that I will not be uploading the app to the iOS App Store because dfox doesn't allow it.
Please also note that this version of the app is quite early, and there will be glitches and bugs. The app automatically reports crashes to me, so I would know if there is a bug in the app.19 -
HR: Here at company A we have a great culture. It truly is the best place ever to work!
Dev: How many companies have you worked for?
HR: Besides babysitting as a teenager this is the only company I’ve ever worked for.
Dev: I thought so.3 -
What is the best way to do a code review for a colleague's code, without coming out as a complete ass?16
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Me to HR lad: So yea I need you to process my resignation
HR lad to me (*silently whispering on phone*): I’ve resigned too. Good luck.2 -
Wholesome anti-rant.
There’s this Indian chick at work that I really, really do not get along with. Fortunately she’s on a different team so we have practically zero interactions. Her code was always decent, maybe upper junior level? but I went away fuming almost every time we talked.
However, I did a release security review today (I’m down from five/six per month to one) and read through quite a bit of her code. It was clean and easy to read with good separation, clear naming and intentions, nothing was confusing, etc. It was almost beautiful. Had I any emotions I might have shed a tear. I sent her a message and let her know :) I actually learned a better way of doing a couple of things from it.
She has grown so much as a dev.32 -
Hi all 👋. I got, to be honest, we as developers have the opportunity to build whatever we can imagine but sometimes it just sucks having so many possibilities, it starts to get tiring really fast. So I got to ask you guys.
How do you decide on your jobs or side projects what is really important to accomplish without getting sidetracked?13