Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

Before someone is losing their tits, i know it is an old pic, i have seen it before, but it still gives me a good laugh every time, especially as i am from eastern europe myself 😁

Boss: You'll need to make the presentation an hour earlier than usual. There'll be 20 people attending..

Me: Sure. Will everyone show up?

Boss: Oh yes, they'll show up.

*Reschedules other work at home*
*Gets 4 hours of sleep to wake up earlier*
*Prepares material*

*Shows up for the meeting 5 minutes earlier*

*Crickets chirp*

There literally wasn't a single person there. Everyone shows up at the normal fucking time and good old boss was 2 fucking hours late.

Guess what the presentation was for? To solve the fucking issue of why stuff never gets done on time and nothing works right. I think I might have a tiny fucking idea why, at this point.

Double standards :p

Well that surprised me at first...

Sometimes I wished there was no internet, computers etcetera and that the world would go back to the basics. When people from a village knew each other and married a girl from your village and lived in a wooden hut in the mud.

This all can be so much better than how life is at the moment. People ignoring eachother, fighting wars by killing thousands without actually fighting.

And yes I know some of us wouldnt survive it, Im not sure I would with my chronic kneepain. I cannot hunt because of it. I could be a builder or farmer maybe?

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

Github after Microsoft purchase

Eternal confusion.

Pen testing

Stackoverflow.

*15 new emails*

We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy

Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"

... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂

She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!

I really like this one 😂

What are your point of view on this?😂😂

Mr Sys Admin or Mr Admin Sys

Colleague: As asap as possible!
Me: ಠ_ಠ

I feel like a fucking abomination at the moment.

I have been working on an app that is almost like Wireshark. More so for practice than anything else.

I decided that today I would try it out on the network here at my house, so I started the packet sniffer and wanted to see what was going on. I was checking for unencypted text (like telnet and whatnot) and came across this odd address that I hadn't seen before.

I did something that I shouldn't have done, and I fucking clicked and did the equivalent of "follow TCP stream" on wireshark. I fucking went and looked what the text being sent over this fucking network was.

It was my girlfriend, using fuck knows what messenger, but it was unencrypted. I just found out that she is cheating on me. I don't want to go into what the texts exactly say, because it fucking hurts me deep down.

Why didn't she just use whatsapp or something, fuck man. I really don't need this in life at the moment. I am genuinely trying to get my shit in order, I have been coding my ass off at night for extra money to make it, I have been working overtime where I can - fuck I have even tried sucking up to management (I would never do this under normal circumstances) - and to top this off, the motherfucking tax man is giving me hell.

Fuck sakes.

If you want to cheat, fucking do it properly. Because I am in a state of pure sadness and hatred and the moment - and I don't know what the fuck to do.

Trying out react. Using npm 3.10

Error make sure you are using the latest version of node and npm

Updates npm to 5.6

It looks like you are using newly released version of npm which is not supported. #FML

Perfect clouding...!!!

Friend texted me some binary.

Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.

Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".

Get into bed.

Gets all comfy.

About to drift off.

Realizes solution for the problem I have spent all week on.

Now wide awake.

Guess who's not sleeping tonight!

C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*

IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.

For the love of Arch Linux 😍😍😍

Aww Adobe😝

Any College professors shorter than 5 feet 5 inch should be known as microprofessors.

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

//
// devRant unofficial UWP update
//

Hi to all Windows 10 users of my app (if you're not, it's never too late to improve yourself).

I really appreciate all your feedbacks on Microsoft Store and via email!
Thanks!

I'm working really hard on v2 to release it as soon as possible.
Since I'm alone and I have a lot of other commitments (university, sleeping, holidays), I would like to release a closed BETA for all users who want to test the new version and send feedbacks, bugs reports.

All you need to do to join the BETA is filling this form (https://jakubsteplowski.com/en/...) by September 15th.

I'm planning to release 3 BETA builds (this could change):

- v2 BETA 1: September
- v2 BETA 2: October
- v2 BETA 3: November
- v2 Stable: November/December

During the BETA phase you will receive the BETA builds as normal updates from the Microsoft Store, after the BETA you will start to receive the stable builds as all users.
Of course you can resign to be a BETA tester at anytime by contacting me.

Anyone who will join the BETA will be added to the "Special thanks" section in about.

Thanks in advance for your help! 😊

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

Dang bullies got to my stress ball 😢