Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

My friend sent this to me this morning lmao.

Tell me if it's a repost.

My friend just ordered some fries, and this is his receipt.

Loving the class name for this div on South West Trains 404 page.

Me at the office, Boss calling me by phone..

Boss: Hi, I need a new Build of XX Android app for another client.. set the base address at x.x.x.x and send me an APK file

Me: OK, I will do it.

Boss: can you do it in 5 minutes?

Me: Sure, it's simple..

Android Studio: You think it's simple !
* Indexing Files
* Sync Project
* Gradle Build
* Indexing....
* Some f* tasks

Oh kill me now !!

I wrote a Student Information system for my midterm project back in 94 written in Clipper and runs on MS-DOS.

I demoed & explained to the panel of professors how it tracks enrollments, payments, class schedules, grades and attendance of each and every student. Has user authentication, auditing and reporting functionalities.
It has a lite version also written in Clipper that can be installed on a Professor's laptop so that he/she can update records even at home, and would be able to sync with the db at school via a BBS. Telix for DOS (self-taught) was my choice for the BBS as it was shareware, has built-in Zmodem support and comes with it's own programming language called SALT (Script Application Language for Telix) that can be used for automating tasks. The lite version of my project would dump the updates on an ASCII file, compress the file using PKZIP, use the laptop's modem to dial-up the number to the school's BBS and send the file across using Zmodem protocol.
The main version would then download the file(s) from the BBS and proceed to do a sync.

After the doing the demo and answering all their questions the panel asked me to wait outside the room, called me back in after 15mins and told me that I don't have to attend that class for the remainder of the term. The happiness as the my classmates outside of the room gawked at me felt like King Midas himself gave my balls his golden touch.

Then in 97, 2yrs after I graduated, I accompanied my cousins to a different campus of the same school for their enrollment and right there on the bottom of the screen were my initials on a very very familiar UI! They actually used, and were still using, my school project. Needless to say my cousins didn't believe that it was written by me.

If this is a duplicate, do let me know.
Source: shitheadsteve

Amazon's sync symbol! 😂

"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*

A designer made a loader animation for me to use in the app.

When I finished implementing it, he said it was "too fast".

So I asked him for the fps. He said what's an fps?

I asked him what's the duration of the animation then?... Him: Idk

So I raged and showed him that the fucking software he uses has all the info I needed. It was 15fps animation, and he gave all the frames. So simple math, and there it is...

But still, it was "too fast"

So I asked him to play my implementation and his side by side. It was in sync.

So he's like "yeah it's still too fast, I only draw it this fast for better quality"

I told him it's staying the way it is, and he can go learn how to use his tools properly.

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

Friend: Can you teach me to code??

Me: Hell yes, bout time you came to your senses.

Friend pulls out iPad: Okay, lesson one!

Me: Did you actually just pull out an iPad? Get a fucking computer or laptop!

I finally built a new PC with 8GB memory, i7 4790K and SSD for OS.

My old system was a core2duo with 2GB memory. Android studio used to take 20mins for gradle sync and another 20min for signing apks. "Live preview" and "emulator" was a thing of the future for me. Never used it.

But now things have changed. This thing boots up in less than 5 sec and studio gradle takes less than 30sec. I'm so happy right now! Its like a dream come true! *cries in happiness*

Story.
Did you know logging into chrome will auto sync all your fucking bookmarks to that other person's account??
I DIDN'T!!
(I use Firefox mainly and chromium for testing.)
I use chrome only for porn. Got shit tons of bookmarks. I login to my friend's sister Gmail on my chrome(for remote desktop - to help fix her computer. Somehow,remote desktop doesn't work on chromium)
Was browsing her pc via remote session and suddenly all of my porn bookmarks appear at the top bar.)
Had to manually select each bookmark in the bookmark manager and delete since CTRL+A won't work during the remote session. Don't know why.
FML.

Just installed Kubuntu on my netbook.

KDE Connect 💕

I can be lazy now and control my netbook from my phone 😊
Also notification sync, file sharing etc!

I like my fries how I like my passwords... salted :)

Just had a massive clear out of useless tabs i had open. its been so long since I've seen blank space in my tab bar :')

Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.

SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!

He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.

Me *shows friend website hosted on Ubuntu VPS*

Friend: You using UBLUNTOOTH?

Me: Excuse me? This is going on devRant.

I've been secretly adding easter eggs into all my html5 creatives 💀

Trello nailed the changelog with their offline sync update
(Yeah the rewrote the whole song)

FUCK!!! FUCK IT ALL. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY BULLSHT UNDOCUMENTED AND OUTDATED API.

YOUR DATABASE SERVER BACK-END HAS TO BE THE ONE MANAGING THE DISPLAY DATA FOR ITS WEB AND MOBILE CLIENTS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, DAMN IT.

I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE ALL DAY HARD-CODING ALL YOUR SERVER'S INADEQUACY.

MAKES ME WONDER DO YOU EVER USE DESIGN PATTERNS OR APPLY DESIGN PRINCIPLES? DRY AT LEAST? DON'T FUCKING REPEAT YOURSELF, DAMN IT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.

When you are programming and you press some random keybind and you spend the next hour trying to figure out what you did 😐

call me weird, but I love thunderstorms

Bought a second hand e-reader and now importing nearly 1k of PDF files into Calibre's library.

Its taking huge amounts of ram and my laptop started freezing.

~$ nano clean.sh

while :
do
sudo sync; echo 3 > /proc/sys/vm/drop_caches
done

~$ chmod +x clean.sh
~$ ./clean.sh

👌

Do NOT I repeat do NOT git clone into an iCloud Synced folder then run yarn dev. iCloud tried to sync 30k files (maxed out all CPUs), MacBook got super hot almost caught blanket on fire.

*Adds new dependency*

Me: *Pray while syncing*

*Gradle project sync in progress*

*Gradle build finished in 9s 211ms*

Me: Thank you, Lord

Felt like sharing this, even if Windows updates are so overly talked about.

Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"

Me: "${answer}"

Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"

Me: "my bad"

Me: `${answer} is the answer`

Friend: "thanks man"

Just saw a blue screen of death In the top of a taxi cab. Had no idea these kind of signs were running Windows. Why are so many companies buying licenses for Windows when they could so easily use Linux ?

sync meeting:
dev: damn, the tests failed again

bossman: let's blame it on the neutrinos hitting the mainframe which flips a digit and causing the tests to fail this time!

dev: ok ...!

Make a friend that can code...

Seriously guys it is getting lonely here 😐

If I ever develop a game:

if(username.startsWith("Xx") && username.endsWith("xX")) this.username = "XxNoneOfThisxX";

Boss: We need health data for this iOS app.

Me: Cool, so we'll use apples HealthKit.

Boss: No that requires the user agrees to it.

Me: ... well yeah ... its private data.

Boss: No we need it to work regardless. If the user says no to HealthKit, just give them textfields for all the metrics HealthKit has and they can enter manually.

Me: .... but ... eh ....

Boss: and we'll partner with some companies and support their devices.

Me: ... see, the thing is ...

Boss: We also need to store it locally and then sync it to the cloud app. What do you think?

Me: ... ... ... no

Solving Errors:
Code it.
Doesn't do anything, no errors in console.
Try again.
Doesn't work.
*Realizes that you didn't call the function*
ffs

IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.

- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done

WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!

- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.

*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*

*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*

I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.

New semester, new problems....

Just started my 6th semester at uni and my teammates are already proving to be serious dumbfucks..

They want to keep all files neat and organized, sure, fine, good idea.
They want to use Dropbox to store code and our LaTeX report, no, never! Somehow managed to get them to switch to GitHub, yay!
They want to have everything in one fucking repo! Why? Oh god, why? And I can't change their mind on this!
And they still want to use Dropbox to have a backup and sync between their machines...

So during this semester, we will store our LaTeX report and the, at minimum, 3 code projects, in the same repo organized by folder!
Why not one project, one repo? Then I won't have to pull all the shit code that I don't have to work with!

Expect more rants in the coming months...

I was engaged as a contractor to help a major bank convert its servers from physical to virtual. It was 2010, when virtual was starting to eclipse physical. The consulting firm the bank hired to oversee the project had already decided that the conversions would be performed by a piece of software made by another company with whom the consulting firm was in bed.

I was brought in as a Linux expert, and told to, "make it work." The selected software, I found out without a lot of effort or exposure, eats shit. With whip cream. Part of the plan was to, "right-size" filesystems down to new desired sizes, and we found out that was one of the many things it could not do. Also, it required root SSH access to the server being converted. Just garbage.

I was very frustrated by the imposition of this terrible software, and started to butt heads with the consulting firm's project manager assigned to our team. Finally, during project planning meetings, I put together a P2V solution made with a customized Linux Rescue CD, perl, rsync, and LVM.

The selected software took about 45 minutes to do an initial conversion to the VM, and about 25 minutes to do a subsequent sync, which was part of the plan, for the final sync before cutover.

The tool I built took about 5 minutes to do the initial conversion, and about 30-45 seconds to do the final sync, and was able to satisfy every business requirement the selected software was unable to meet, and about which the consultants just shrugged.

The project manager got wind of this, and tried to get them to release my contract. He told management what I had built, against his instructions. They did not release my contract. They hired more people and assigned them to me to help build this tool.

They traveled to me and we refined it down to a simple portable ISO that remained in use as the default method for Linux for years after I left.

Fast forward to 2015. I'm interviewing for the position I have now, and one of the guys on the tech screen call says he worked for the same bank later and used that tool I wrote, and loved it. I think it was his endorsement that pushed me over and got me an offer for $15K more than I asked for.

When windows is so fucking bad, that the not responding box stops responding

I only wanted to play...

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

Get yourself a friend that sends you URLs like this:

Small random update regarding my ISP and how they call your speed if you use all of your data.

I actually sent them a small complaint (more of a suggestion but) that 256 Kbps is just too slow even for a capped penalty speed and that at least 1 Mbps so that the internet is still usable but still slow... And mother fucker if that isn't exactly what they did!

It's nice being able to sync my code and have more than 1 device connected to the wifi at once... It's a strange feeling when a company actually listens to feedback and takes measures on them...

One word; Procrastination. I've learnt how to do it and I've learnt how to do it well.

Got Ubuntu on my laptop for traveling 😁😁 Loving it, once I got Numix theme installed I loved it even more 😋
No one in my classes have ever heard about Linux or Ubuntu until they met me.

When you're looking for answers on Google and you come across that one thread that goes on forever; you read every last response. You finally reach the ended to see:

"Thread locked.

Issue Resolved."

You never found your answer.

!rant
Has anyone looked at the linux kernel 1.0?

I am amazed with this! And the comments are priceless

e.g:
tcp.c
/* I hope this returns what I want. */
return(~d+1);

buffer.c
* 14.02.92: changed it to sync dirty buffers a bit: better performance
* when the filesystem starts to get full of dirty blocks (I hope).
*/

So cool!!!!

They really need to improve the algorithm that is searching for things in Windows Explorer. Literally:

Windows: *Searching for files in Downloads*

Me: I just typed .mp4, what is taking so long!?

Windows: *No results.*

Dammit debug mode.

Friend: What is the worst feeling in the world.

Me:

Real talk, when you're explaining code do you say "equals equals" or just "equals"?

!rant

I've written a software application for an enginnering company to help them sync their files between 3 different office locations. It's a Windows application that communicates with a server in one of the offices, and can either sync periodically or manually after a big data operation such as restoring from backups. I delivered it in January. This morning I recieved a feature request from their Director of IT for the start button to be made "more obvious", because apparently the big blue button marked "START", which is also the only button, is too confusing. These people are engineers.

Help me on my way towards the stress ball and I'll release a version with the button in bright neon pink.

Is this just me?

if(..... expression.....){
System.out.println("it works, calm down");
} else{
System.out.println("it's not fucking working, holy fucckk, fucking WORK");
}

Tell me if you do something similar.

Is Santa coming to your house? Use my "advanced" algorithm to find out.

Person kid = getKidByName("yourName");
FatGuy santa = new FatGuy("santa");

if(!kid.wasNaughty()){
System.out.println("Good child");
santa.sendGift(kid, "train");
return;
}
System.out.println("You're on the naughty list");
santa.sendGift(kid, "coal");

Finally, with iOS 11, now we can sync older conversations with new devices.... Thanks apple, it took 11 fucking versions to do this simple shit!

Hey, just spent 9 hours on my computer. Just seeking validation, I'm not the only one right?

Let's think about it for a minute

If you have a iPhone 7 and the new macbook, the only way to sync between your two beloved device is to buy an adapter which costs $25 in the apple store.

Apple has truly lost their vision

When you trying to develop a site, you change some CSS, refresh the localhost and it doesn't update. You try changing that CSS value to something more noticeable to see if you're just imagining things. But no, it's your browser cache. Clear it.

IT Head: Hey, can you check out why application X isn't working? I've already restarted it and it isn't working anymore.

Me: sure.

Me 20 mins later: hey, looks like it is all good, website is normal, server resources are normal, etc...

IT Head: no no, the windows sync app isn't working.

Me inside: are you fucking kidding me you piece of stupid shit? Quit IT for good and die.

awesome wm update - after fighting with netctl + networkmanager issues, I am done, well still a lot on my todo, but that's what I am happy with for today, without having to look up more lua stuff.

btw firefox sync sucks, since neither addon nor browser settings sync

That moment when you try showing an issue to your senior developer and gradle takes forever to build.

Clicks build...
Goes to get coffee.
Takes a sip.
*1500 sips later*
Gradle build still running...

Thanks to mandatory password change, today:

- My windows account got locked because my phone kept logging into wifi using
old password.
- Google Hangouts were silently running in background with old session until I re-opened it. Work of others delayed by 4 hours due to missing message notifications.
- Docker for Windows lost credentials needed to use SMB mounts - 1h of debugging why my containers mount empty folders ( now I will know)
- Google G-Sync for Outlook asked for new password on outlook restart - few mails delayed.

All of that for sake of security that could be easily solved with 2FA instead, not faking that "I do not change number at the end of my password"

Asserting dominance.

boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!

I think the thumbnail sums it up nicely.

I'm working on a project that integrates your Android phone with your PC. Stuff like file transfer, sending SMS and notification sync. I just had an idea for an awesome feature. Started researching and found that the Android API exposes exactly what I need. Full of motivation I started coding until I realized that the permission I need cannot be granted to third-party apps. Happened the second time. Fml

Tell me there aren't people doing this.

Two things before this all:
- I fucking love gitlab so far
- I miss the fuzzy searching from sublime text, as vsCode still can't do it properly..

I was fed up with all the shitty overbloated git deployment scripts, sync scripts, automatic backup solutions and hosted git servers out there, so now my own solution is:

- remote git cloned local files
- local files are synced via dropbox, to easily edit them on any device
- all changes and deleted files are saved up to 1 year on dropbox
- remote has gitlab running and webhooks setup
- the webhooks point to my node scripts, which then rebase the code to its dedicated dev server
- daily server backup with 7 days roll
- cold storage backup each 30 days

Sounds like overkill, but from my experience, you really can't have enough places that have a backup, especially coldstorage backups.

My goal in general though is to have everything on my computer backupped and ready to go asap, if something happens.

I wanted to just use a virtual machine for development stuff, but that wouldnt be able to run on my laptop, so I need a more general solution, where I sync all configs and all projects across. (and have some sort of basic list of tools needed, so I dont need to remember them)

Found for example something for vscode to sync its settings and plugins via any sort of git, will give it a try in near future too.

User: Hello, can you sync my printer to my laptop? I can't download anything to it.

Me: *facepalm* so much is wrong here...

Gotta love trying to sleep and waking up to a bright blue screen. Fucking Windows...

Found this from when I was developing a webpage.

I DID IT!!! just fucking installed lineage os <3 never imagined that it could be so complicated... they really don't want you to flash your phone man. I guess the main problem was that my phone is old x)

So I'm trying to get a clean and free environment, any advice about applications? My biggest problem is with telegram, I'll try wire, bit there is anything else that can replace telegram and on android and Linux? I mean I need to keep conversations sync, and I won't use a Chrome application TT so no signal.

*Me testing my api with vue.js*

Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.

Coworker: Done,image updated:

Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.

Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.

Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.

Co-worker: Did it work?

Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.

Co-worker: I did!

Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.

String username = "Xx_thelegend27_xX";

final Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile("(xx|(_|))(?<username>\\w*)(_|(xx))", Pattern.CASE_INSENSITIVE);
final Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(username);

if(matcher.matches()){
this.showError(String.format("Your username cannot be that... Try: %s", matcher.group("username")));
}else {
registerOrSomething();
}

FINALLY after 48 hours coding. 1000 lines of algorythms ....

Managed to sync video playback on 30 Machines, didnt go to work "sick".

All this for a side project.
Doesnt possibly work they said....

Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.

Just had a great convo with my friend who thinks arrays start at 1. My day's going great.

Thanks everyone! devRant is such a great community and I am proud to be a part of it!

so like, I managed to select the date and time somehow on my android phone

Is it really necessary to show an ad for the supporter program whenever I sync the feed? Wouldn't be once per hour or something enough?

Rewrite of the sync api to REST.

Coworker: “hey, I know you’ve written and maintained our sync module for the past 4 years. Something I need to know? Some hints or knowledge you can share?”
Me: only thing you should not do is x and y. Otherwise you will face problems a and b.”
Coworker: “great, thanks a lot!”

2 months later...

Customer call: “da fuck are you doing? When I do stupid stuff then I face problem z and problem a!!!”

*me checking new code*

*me calling coworker*

Me: “WTF did you do? You asked for my advice and then did exactly what I told you NOT to do.”

Coworker: “oh, let me check the code..”

*coworker calls boss*

Coworker: “Boss, I can’t work with this guy, he starts fights all the time..”

*boss comes to my desk*

Boss: “I don’t want you to work on this anymore, people are complaining.”

Me: “what the fuck, I just asked him a question..”

~ 1 month later

coworker quits because he can’t handle all the bugs he caused and I have to maintain this piece of fucking retard code..

For Java development, what IDE do you prefer and why (if there is reason)?

Ok. FUCK MySQL Workbench.
Most of our products built on MySQL and we just had enough of the tools that we are using for our mysql databases...
We decided to make our own tool :)

If it goes well, we plan to open source it. Would you guys be interested in it?
We planned the following features:
1. Schema editing
2. Schema versioning
3. Update/downgrade script generation to move easily between schema versions
4. Manual/auto sync
5. Might include our own replication solution too...

What do you think?

For me, an application that's in 'Beta' is just a developer's excuse for bugs

Friend: You haven't been programming all day have you? It's been 10 hours.

Me: pfft, I haven't been programming all day, I have a life;

I'll just leave this here.

(I deleted my last one due to a spelling error [I was on my phone])

When you forget that you paused dropbox sync 2 days ago and the client starts questioning my progress, I remembered today - resumed sync and the client responded with "wow shit!" A little awkward..

So at the old job, i needed support for an issue relating to Amazon S3. We used a third party Python plugin for sending files to our buckets, but had some pretty severe performance issues when trying a 2-way sync.
Naturally, I sought help on StackOverflow, and was asked to share my config. Without much thought, I pasted the config file.
Next comment made me aware that our API id and key was listed in this config (pretty rediculous to keep such private info in the same file as configuration, but oh well).
I edited my question and removed the keys, and did not think about the fact that revisions are stored.

Two weeks later, my boss asks me if I know why the Amazon bill is for 25.000$ when it used to be <100$ 😳

I've never been so scared in my life. Luckily, Amazon was nice enough to waive the entire fee, and I leaned a little about protecting vital information

*on phone*
Friend: I want to add 100 contacts to gmail how do I do that?
Me: Add those in excel sheet and import it in gmail

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I deleted something in excel. How do I get it back
Me: Ctrl Z

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I added contacts to excel and emailed to you. Can you email me contacts so that I'll add to my gmail?
Me; I don't have these powers. You have to import in gmail.

*after 5 mins another call*
Friend: I uploaded contacts but I want it in on my iPhone
Me: Add gmail account to your iPhone. It will sync contacts.
Friend: I know we can do it on Android but is it possible on iPhone bcz Gmail is of Google right?

*hang up*

!dev

I'm doing some solo karaoking again but with some oldies that I haven't sung in probably 10-15 years. Not my usual song track.

And since I'm deaf, I can't hear the tune, just see the timed words. And just found it interesting the general tune can be recalled at first at all.

Then after a few times, I started remembering how some of the actual singers sound like. But still stumble a bit on some parts.

And then a few weeks. And I have another session and somehow I can pretty much lip sync it with all the emotions and almost perfectly I think.

I just found it strange and wanted to write this down somewhere while I still remember it. And I guess that's sorta the point. Feels like the mind/subconscious to remember things really well but recalling them at either the right moment or randomly....

Anyone else have similar experiences? Wanna share?

Kotlin support on Android:
i never liked Java, not because of the language but for the usual bad design implementations and Android is one of those.
Then Kotlin arrived, it looked very promising but it's when i looked at Coroutines that it simply blew my mind:
you just have to write your code and the Kotlin's compliler "magic" will do most of the boring/complex stuff for you and it's even great performance wise!
I even refactored inter-process calls to simple sync functions with few like of code and for a non-android developer like me it's just love at first sight!

Not only coding, but studying Computer Science has changed a lot in my life. For example, learning about CPU scheduling algorithms made me manage time for my personal tasks a lot better. Earlier I used to waste a lot of time by doing tasks in out of sync order. Also coding made me realize how dumb most people are!

I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS

When you're done a project for someone that took 3 weeks: so you ask them to pay, and they tell you they don't want it anymore. THE FUCK

Discord or Slack? 🤔

Android gradle sync failed

What kind of trickery is this...?

My internet provider is a fucking joke. Joke as in my internet is so garbage that it'd be better if I didn't have any internet at all.

Think of something more retarded than this:

boolean name = (getBoolean()) ? true : false;

Comic Sans.

Submitting a pull request seems a good way to end the week. That's what I love about (some) projects on GitHub; instead of just ranting about bugs or out-of-sync documentation, you can fix the problem and send a pull request upstream. :-)

You know you have chosen the wrong JS library when you read a function definition like this:

validateSync(schema, options, callback)

Make. Fucking. Backups...

I had to find a MailChimp sync plugin for a webshop and thought I found a good one that synced one way (webshop to MailChimp).

I figured, meh, what could go wrong? So I installed it, ran it...and somehow lost around 4000 mailinglist receipients because they were not in the webshop.

Turns out it adds the registered users in the webshop, but also removes entries that are not! Needless to say, I had some explaining to do and was only able to recover about 3000 addresses from a previously sent campaign.

Customer was not happy, neither was my boss, very important lesson learned...

// TODO: It's none of your business

Ignore the official start/finish times. Instead, sync your office ours to that of someone in your team you respect.

TL/DR;
Worked as outsource where Scrum was misused. Please use it as a guide rather than law.

RANT;
Just remembered working as an outsourced programmer...

The Scrum master got us all... all of us... everyday... most people on Skype too... to update with our plans, issues etc.

So including the time trying to get everyone to sync up on Skype at around 9am, introductions, updates from EVERYONE... back and forth suggestions... I'd be starting near midday.

The task was related to making a tile based menu system that was populated with items from a backend... On paper, I only really needed to talk to the 1 artist and the 1 backend guy to understand the request / responses.
But even the art assets were arbitrary sizes... untileable... at the time they even had to be power of two too... My god, getting them changed was a nightmare...

In the end I was too slow for them.
Gladly.

Should I learn C++, or C#?

Me: *Tries closing IDE*
Windows:

No boss at all 😎

I'll be this guy.

Well, why can't I sync my stack overflow points to devrant. :P

I recently got into an argument with some people, and I want your opinion. I did a speed code in Java (just sped up clip of programming, because it looks cool lol), and someone commented:

"Way too much static abuse here. Jesus"

In which I replied:

"Actually, sir. There is near none at all, just because I use static methods does not make it static abuse. A static method belongs to the class, and is somewhat permanent. It is not a type (instance, cat, dog, animal, etc.) class, it is a Utility class, much like other dependencies you'd use are Utilities and not types."

To which they reply:

"Getting and setting is a Utility?"

Boi. If it is a static variable, yes. Like, what?

Who else when they're coding or get a new app, immediately Google how to change to a dark theme?

I have a Yahoo app on my phone for some legacy purposes. I just allowed the storage access permissions when it was asking for it during the installation or something, cause like, who doesn't? I checked my Yahoo Mail on the browser tonight and saw copies of my mobile photos in it! It's through the Attach Icon > Insert animated GIF. WTF? So that's how you can easily get hacked from apps?

I'll just leave this here...

What do you guys search to find a good playlist while programming?

This is long rant/story:

My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.

Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.

Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.

So, the conversation goes on as follows:

"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"

"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"

"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"

"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"

"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"

"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.

…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager

"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."

Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.

**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.

Recently made a sub 750 euro in home server with raid 1, to back up all pc's laptops and smartphones in the house to. Never been better!

Using a simple little daily backup tool on all pc's, and another app to sync 2 way to my phone, i was able to have all my data safe on that home server.

It even allows me to edit content on my phone which will sync overnight, because of the way usb access is shit on android since.. 5.0?

I am loving it! Worth every penny and week of setup effort.

fucking bluetooth earphones, i trusted you!

Linux software RAID and LVM are pretty powerful.

Bought a new server case for my home file server / VM host. 3U with 16 hotswap bays. Had 2x software RAID1 mirrors already with everything on them. Inserted 2 new disks with system running. Created new RAID10 array using these, with their mirrors as "missing".

Created new physical volume. Extended volume group into it, then used pvmove to transfer every logical volume across. Shrunk volume group to no longer use the old RAID1 array, disassembled that array, added its disks to the new array... Now just waiting for the mirror disks to sync up.

All this, with the system and several VMs still running.

And with a backup, of course ;)

When Microsoft buys GitHub, but they can't steal your code because your code has been uploaded obfuscated.

*I am sorry for mentioning Microsoft and/or GitHub, it is quite repetitive*

Make change
Close Visual Studio for the night
Open Visual Studio
Commit
Close Visual Studio for the night
Open Visual Studio
Sync with Bitbucket
Close Visual Studio for the night

I am proud of my internet provider for actually living up to some standards for once.

We had to test our client's karaoke app. QA said there was a delay between the singer's video and the user's recorded video.

What a day! Developers singing along, waiting for someone to be in sync...

I don't think you understand the word, "vacation."

Fuck starting the project, what's it going to be called?

java.lang.StackOverflowError

Well, I've been betrayed... Now what?

I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man...

Just spent forever trying to figure out why my POST request parameter(s) weren't working. The PHP was checking for GET parameters. Fucking hell.

** this means words are muted **

Friday:
I send a mail the client a Google doc with elaborate details about evaluation of an Android tablet from a Chinese manufacturer.

Monday:

The client is upset, he says "You say there is no GPS chip on the tablet while the manufacturer says otherwise"

Me- "I have clearly mentioned that it has a GPS chip"

Client- Opens the Google doc, points to a sentence. Looks at me like I did something horrible.

Me - **This guys is either word blind or something else is wrong with him, the line reads 'GPS chip available'**

Me- "Look, it says 'GPS chip available'.

Client- **Blinks n blinks again** "Alright, but why did you share a Google document, why not PDF, docx"

Me-**Politely** "You can download the document in any format, look I will show you..."

Client- "It should have been in the mail itself ideally"

Me- **WTH** "We normally maintain a document for such things to keep everything organised, but if you want I will put everything in mail itself"

Client- "Hmm.. do both from next time"

Me- "Alright" **BS**

Client- "Why is the new feature taking so much time"

Me- "As planned earlier, we going to deliver it tomorrow"

Client- "Why not today??" **Gives a strange look.**

Me thinking - **Enough**

Me- "See, I am trying to integrate a smarten with a socket connection, reading it's data via exposed APIs that are hardly documented, we need faster performance so I need to implement caching, multi threading, offline handling, multiple processes to avoid memory fluctuations, sync adapter to sync data...."

Client- "Ok ok ok, it's fine if you give working build tomorrow"

Me- "Ok, fine"

#limit

There is how you think a system works, and there is how it actually works. Unit tests help keep those two ideas in sync with each other

Oh well, glad it's not a wk98 rant, just annoying to install and sync the data, this time I am going to do a full image backup after installing the basic things

!rant

I'm starting to be really, idk, crazy, but I just can't find anything similar to OneNote, but with SYNC option, for Android and Linux. What do you guys recommend. Already tried Evernote but it's two-devices only limit in free version, nah.

I'm starting a freelance project and the guy who is working on the backend refuses to use git because all the files sync to his computer from the server

Hmmmm. Just looked at my security log for my outlook account. A bunch of unsuccessful sync attempts... from China, from South Africa, from Colombia, from Poland, from Vietnam, and from Brazil. All of them IMAP attempts. Good to know my password isn't compromised, but I think I'm going to reset it and double it's length, just to be sure.

What is it with this bullshit culture about installing something syncs it with all machines
First chrome/chromium, You can't install a plugin or extension on 1 machine unless you're logged out. what is this bullshit

Next windows 10, I fucking installed a Japanese language pack on 1 machine, by the end of the day all my fucking machines and even my windows tablet got it installed and applied in a fucking bugged way that made it that my UI is English and my fucking metro apps are Japanese.

This is starting to get annoying as fuck

"Don't you find it easier using Dreamweaver?" 🤗

If you've ever had @SupressWarnings("unused") in your code, just why?

Ohhhh what my eyes saw ?
Adaptive sync enabled now in mesa !!!!!

Does anyone else have experience on a team where everyone seems to be doing their own thing across the full stack/multiple systems/languages but then they're all stepping over each other, breaking other each other's code so ends up doing a lot of rework to update your code to someone else's change.

And also many wheels get reinvented in slightly different ways because no one is aware that something like ... Already exists and can be reused or refactor.... Or how to use it correctly.

Basically we're like all moving in different directions instead of in sync.

I feel maybe the team is too big and everyone is doing everything, wearing too many hats... and maybe should define roles and ownership better.

Who else is a retard and does this:

String = "";

and doesn't notice the error immediately??

Favorite IDE to program in C++?

The mobile application my company is developing is beginning to fail in a prod environment because the third party tool we purchased to sync our 3 databases in the background isn't working as expected, so I have been assigned the task of rewriting the entire application. I chose to do it in react-native/redux which I have never heard of until two weeks ago, and I have never enjoyed programming so much in my life. Shit just clicks and works the first time more often than not. Android Studio had me banging my head against my desk daily. Kudos to these technologies 👌

fuck this takes forever

When your friends wants you to help them code in Java and they type

public void Main String

without any instruction ...

<3 DevStyle for Eclipse

Firefox is shit

- In version 62 the cocksuckers finally removed the ability to add description to bookmarks, now there is no difference between mozilla shit browser and chrome, except chrome has working mobile version and working bookmark sync.
- Yes, firefox mobile on android does not even allow you to edit bookmarks so that useless crap can't be called a browser at all.
- Firefox shitcoded sync takes more time to sync 1 bookmark, than chrome takes to setup all bookmarks/addons/settings on fresh-install and in addition to that, it messed my bookmarks several times, so I am forced to sync places.sqlite via dropbox to syncronize bookmarks, because it is way much faster and reliable.

Phones be like ..
Ooh pls sync your gallery, call history,messages, personal details, medical history, address proof, grandad's number to our cloud

18 hours because I can

Algorithms to Live By: How to Put on a Quilt Cover

1. Sync the orientation of both quit and cover
2. Locate the corners on the cover and add clothes pins
3. Insert the corners 1 by one and attach the pin
4. Stuff everything else inside
5. Walk around and hold each pair of perpendicular corners and give it a toss (Full body morning exercises now complete)
6. When satisfied, removed the pins.
7. Place quilt onto bed

Now watch as the quilt gets twenties inside over the following few weeks and either just give up until the next wash or repeat.

How to manage updates on production as web agency

1: Update the GitHub private repo with your changes
2: Write an email to the customer sysadmin and ask to sync in staging and later production
3: Wait 2 weeks and do another ping about it
4: The sysadmin later will do that
5: In the meantime there is a security update of your CMS and a lot of plugins to update
6: Try to update from the CMS panel and there are no write permission
7: Cry a lot and write another email to go back to point 2

yay! i finished the update to my discord bot!

*pushes to my github repo* (auto deploy is also on for heroku, so it should update)

time to try it out for the 6th time!
*the bot wasn't updated*

***i spend what feels like an ETERNITY trying to see what's wrong even though it deployed***

*notices 'sync changes' button in vscode*
why did i waste so much time!?

Aren't those moments where you find something that would have saved you so much time, after you wasted so long annoying?

Do you guys support today's youth learning how to code? If so, why? If not, why not?

I started coding when I was 11.

A personal peer-to-peer music streaming app that doesn't need cloud storage. It's like Spotify + Resilio Sync. So, i can access all of my song from the connected device.

I didn't know why I didn't ever told it:

I did a few multiplayer projects in Unity 4 Engine (beloved old multiplayer) and I wanted to create a custom dedicated server within the Unity engine.

I created a new project and started programming. The clients even connected to the server but I couldn't figure out how to sync the world's because the blocks the world was made of existed in both projects,but had different IDs (didn't knew there were IDs).

After a bit of googling I found out that it isn't possible to sync these projects. Tired of myself giving up I tried a different route and found out that these IDs would sync of you exported them as asset pack. So I did!

And it worked ❤️❤️❤️❤️

So I could have a less power heavy dedicated within the unity engine.

(PS: I knew I just could made a server in C# or so with sockets and what ever, but 12 year old me doesn't knew sockets)

Okay, I want everyone to write code related to the holidays below! I look forward to seeing responses

I've been trying to sleep for a while now. Counting sheep isn't helping because now the sheep have a whiteboard and are writing down answers to fix my bugs :/

Edit: if you were wondering, there is 1 sheep as of right now

TEAM MATE: let me sync my branch with upstream master
*starts typing*

git pull upstream master

ME: Nooooooo!!!!

Don't work.

Working with Vagrant be like:
Oh I see you've added new features all over the project files, all good, I'll sync that to the virtual folders. Oh now you've added a line to the css, would be a shame if I stop syncing now for no apparent reason and let you go insane figuring out why the minor change won't show

Look, extra remote team member. If I hired you with the express requirement that you work and/or live in sync with my time zone, and you claim to live and work in my time zone for a few weeks but you're lying to me and you were actually just on vacation here and have moved back overseas, you SUCK. And now we're firmly entrenched with the project and it's near impossible to fire you at this point if I don't want to deal with a whole new developer and learning curve!!!

So tired today and just realized spent all day on a wild goose chase..

Somehow the test results were wrong... It said the data was out of sync but checking the live data today... They're an exact match...

Just me, or do friends go full retard when you show them your application or UI concept?

Used visual studio's baked in git tools for the first time last night, it felt bizarre pushing to a repo without that momentary existential crisis thinking "oh god am I on the right branch, are these the right commits, did I add the right files, am I in sync with upstream".

Think I'll stick to cli, keeps me on my toes.

cheers mate

Got anymore runtime exception handlers with that?

When a paid service that promises a million connection types can't even do an initial sync 🤦‍♂️. Back to bash scripting it is...

Well, look at the brighter side Android developers, that long time gradle takes to build gives you the much needed break, doesn't it?

Posting this rant on behalf of a friend.

I cannot install Mac OS-X Sierra on my top-of-the-line desktop MacPro because Apple has decided they want me to buy a new one, therefore I cannot install iTunes 12.5, therefore I cannot sync my iPhone 6s or iPad Air 2 to my music, backups or apps. $&@# you too, Apple! 😡

When you figure out the solution to a problem you've been having for weeks and then half an hour later you come across a new one 😭

Why the fuck does Android's SyncAdapter stop working without ANY notice since API level 26 when available storage is low?

They fucking deprecated the system-wide broadcast that the storage is getting too full to properly work. And there's no replacement!!! 😠 No callback. No exception. Nothing. You ask the SyncAdapter to sync and it will just not do it until some storage is freed.... 😭

Pretty busy day at work today.. in the midst of everything, a co worker asked me to sync their branch on GitHub since they don't know how to.

Told them to commit any changes do that there wouldn't be any conflicts.

Their response: "you should already have my latest from 2 days ago"

.....
Two questions that I should have asked:

1) what have you been doing for two days?
2) why am I doing everything else?

:\

When you have no friends that know code, but you tell them about it anyways

What is the cheapest and closest to "decent" cloud computing provider you've come across? I'm currently using scaleway ARMs -- all thanks to someone posting scaleway's name and comparing server prices to a cup of morning coffee :) . It's OK, really can't complain (although it's somewhat silly to sync ssh keys on-boot only IMO). Is there anything cheaper with no less quality?

@dfox I reccomend adding on devrant a thing calles hide read or similar feature. When I browse devrant there are times most of my feed is stuff I already saw. I want to be able to filter it. A good app that uses well the feature "Hide Read" is Sync for Reddit. Thx!(　^ω^)

There is no problem in life everything is in sync (Not async) ;)

Hmm, just noticed lifelog recognises devrant as communication. Found that intresting for some reason. Also dr is the only "communication" app i use for extended period along with sync for reddit.

Also, its 7.50 in morning, not evening. I am not that lazy.

Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)

Working on an app to sync data between our ticketing system and an API a vendor made for us to interact with their ticketing system. I put off working on it for months, mostly because I had mountains of other "urgent" things that jumped in my face, but also because I needed to design the whole thing, and I really have to get into the right frame of mind for that kind of creative organization.

Today I dove into it. I built the JSON to submit, given whatever variables are necessary, and figured out after a while that the smartest way to handle this is not to search for an existing internal ticket, but to have the creation of the internal ticket set a flag for an automated sync process to check when it runs.

It's going to be much easier when I get that built, but now, knowing that, I'm daunted enough that I'm procrastinating. Think of something, chart it out with notes in a text editor, procrastinate.That is probably like 95% of the time I spend in "development."

My threads when I started learning concurrency...

Need a bit of advice please!
I'm hiring a dev to complete a personal project. It's basically a modified CRM that needs to sync with desktop, tablets and mobiles. They suggested using React. Does that seem appropriate? Thanks in advance :)

Just spent 3 hours looking for an error in the client program. I later found out that it was a server-side error :D

k m n

When the AudioAPI was new in browsers i did something like a virtual kaoss pad in js. With some touchscreen like thing for applying filters (looking and working like the kaoss one) and a sampler with multiple tracks to use and even the possibility to add own sound files into the sampler, recording your work, saving it as wav, ...

Actually sick thing.

But it was quite basic after all. Only two filters, no time correction (the samples got played back as you put them in, so if you are a millisec out of sync - it sounded shit)

Nonetheless I'm very proud of that thing.x)

Question for web devs. I have to manage a simple php website and I am tired of filezilla+notepad++ combo. I need something more modern. Tried visual studio code+simple ftp integration but it doesn't seem to download some of the folders. Can you advice any other alternative?

Trying out React Native on VSCode with react-native-cli because Android Studio is SO.FUCKING.FAT.