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Me if there's no coffee at work:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ I WANT COFFEE.
┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) I WANT COFFEE.
┻━┻ ︵ ＼\('0')/／ ︵ ┻━┻
I WANT COFFEE!
ಠ_ಠ Kurt...
ಠ_ಠ Put.
ಠ__ಠ The tables.
ಠ___ಠ Back.
(╮°-°)╮┳━┳
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER!23 -
If you’re having SQL injection problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 tables but… fffffuck. Now i only have one ☹️4
-
You think developing websites cross browsers is hard
Try developing emails.
tables, inline css, Outlook developers on drugs, Gmail developers trying to get high, and abandon most of the things you know about modern web standards24 -
In our office, everyone is placed so that we have a wall behind us. Initially, there was enough room behind us so that we can walk just fine.
Everything was fine till our manager didn't start making us some random visits and standing behind us just looking at our screens and making us feel unpleasant.
So one day we moved the tables so there is almost no room behind us. And we are aligned in a row with no space between the tables. Now if the manager decided to do it again he would have to struggle his way behind us.
Few days passed by and our manager finally showed he saw what we did, didn't say anything. It was clear that he wasn't happy about it. He tried to lean himself over the monitors to take a look but that was just not so as "good" as standing behind us...
A time passed and one day when we came to work we saw the tables moved forward some 15-20cm just enough to be able to move behind. Almost immediately we pulled them back as they were before.
We moved back and forward already few times and are currently playing cat and mouse with our manager.
Noone is saying anything just the tables are moving every 2-3 days or so. Let's see who is going to give up first hahaha13 -
not even partition tables are safe from my near-supernatural ability to break shit through existing.
10 -
Having to learn "Modern web technologies" from a 60 year old woman who has never heard of HTML5 and build her website with tables. And we even had to code on paper. Fuck sake, so much time wasted6
-
This ist basically my daily work. I have to write Java code in excel files which then are being converted into a DSL and then again being converted into Java code. On top of that many wrappers were built which abstract all this things away..
We have about 30 such excel files which contain about 50000 business rules.
There is no version control for this tables and 5 different team are working on the same tables parallel.
The name of this framework is Drools or as I call it: HELL 😡
16 -
They removed the salt and pepper shakers from the tables in the cantine, because they are sources of infections.
...buuuut they keep an open salad bar.2 -
Someone registered a company in the UK to reap havoc on government and directory sites.
(And some people say registering a company in the UK is too easy!)
5 -
Today I inserted a single row into a table which triggered four triggers which inserted 5 rows each to different tables triggering 9 triggers inserting 3 rows which triggered more triggers... Nothing about this is ok.6
-
Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:
- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.
When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.
Shoot me now.10 -
Dear fucking boss,
If you want me to implement a huge feature which requires the creation of dozens of db tables, server side classes and front end pages, just fucking stop ask me every 2 hours if I’m done.
Best regards,
The employee that will quit in a week or two6 -
SELECT * FROM VISA_CARDS
...yes, every bit as bad as you imagine
(and yes, there were other tables for other card providers. Insult to injury... in like.. a fractal of mistakes)4 -
Task:
- Replace a 4 year old PHP API.
Old API:
- PHP script writing PHP scripts to /var/www/ for every endpoint needed
- Answers everthing with 200 (not even 404)
DB:
- MySQL 5.6
- ~ 1000 Tables, NO FUCKING FK's
Documentation:
- "Wasn't worth the effort"
New API:
- Not allowed to behave any different
.
.
.
😭17 -
Old story.
Colleague: "I'm gonna update some tables and stored procedures later"
*phone rings two hours later*
Colleague: "Hi! Just wanted to tell you I accidently dropped all our production databases. Have fun recovering them 😊"
Well shit.8 -
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Such a classic joke. Apt for a Friday! :D1 -
That awkward moment when you learn about callbacks and lookup tables and your whole menu logic goes from a 2 page long switch-case to 3 lines of code... 😂2
-
Fuck my old university, they are leaking Excel files from an old IIS 7.5 server with tables of contacts, students info, emails, phone numbers... 😠
They'll pay, morbidly.6 -
!rant
*me trying to add one more field to a SQL request*
*asks coworker* Hey, do you know how I'd get this field? You have to go through 4 tables just to find it because of the way the tables are related.
*coworker looks for a bit* Oh. That's crazy. We should ask the DBA.
*we ask our 60 year old DBA for some help.*
He walks us through a minefield of inner and outer joins and selects and we finally arrive at a solution. Kudos to our DBA, who in the eyes of us young devs is a wizard.3 -
Turns out that dropping all tables on the production database wasn’t such a good idea. 😅
Thank god we had a backup from 10 minutes before it happend.6 -
Just shouted to my boss: "You have a degree in CopyPaste issued by the University of Clipboard"
:joy:
He's trying to edit some HTML tables and got lost... he also has this notion that he can do our job...
Lol10 -
So this is how they "teach" us in school...As a part time dev I was completely shocked when I saw this in our materials. What do you think? Should I drop the teachers tables to give him a lesson?
14 -
"It's faster to just use one mysql table with 300 columns then linking the data in 10 tables. 10 tables mean 10x the load time!"...
- External consultant hired for optomizing database. (He didn't make it through the day and was sent home...)1 -
Microsoft Office Sharepoint Server.
There is no technology on Earth that speaks worse of Microsoft than is this crap. Nothing they ever made (not even Comic Sans) is as bad as Sharepoint.
No proper editor. Everything is slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. To run it you need a state-of-the-art server. There is no way to make the UI modern, as Sharepoint itself is built upon 1995 era HTML. Tables in tables in tables in tables in tables. And even if you do a web part that's readable, it will be wrapped in shit and presented to the client anyway.
It's so easy to break too. Most of the time I was just watching why the fuck it didn't work. Huge problem with caching as well. Deploying any change requires 10 minutes of manual labor.
I get why companies want to use it. Out of the box it's got quite a few very nice features, and aside from the problems setting it up, and hardware requirements, it works decently well.
But I won't come near it unless I'm paid 100$ per hour or starving to death.10 -
Good morning everyone, don't accidently drop any tables today.
In fact, I'd advise you don't move your furniture around. Apparently it's very dangerous to devs.5 -
Can't believe a student, that got higher grade in Database Management System, asked me
"How do you connect 2 Tables in SQL?"
Well I did help her, but please...
"STACKOVERFLOW"8 -
Just took a new role...
Production database filled with tables like the following :/
SELECT TOP (1000) [ID]
,[Field1]
,[Field2]
,[Field3]
,[Field4]
,[Field5]
,[Field6]
,[Field7]
,[Field8]
,[Field9]
,[Field10]
,[Field11]
,[Field12]
,[CapID]
,[Car_Manufacturer]
,[Car_Range]
,[Car_Derivative]
,[Field17]
,[Field18]
,[Field19]
,[Car_Model]
,[Field21]
,[Field22]
,[Field23]
FROM [****].[dbo].[****]
This isn't even the worst, there's a table with 250+ fields that should be broken out into 10-15 tables. The code is far, far worse.
Don't think I'll be here too long.11 -
Today I had this conversation during my internship with the boss.
Boss:"You are from college x. What do you do there..."
Me:"We do have programming classes, electr..."
Boss*interrupts*:"So you know how to create exel tables, right?"
Me:"Uhmm... well... we barely worked with exel, but I think that I can solve it."
Boss:"Great. I have these ideas..."
*tells me his ideas and his problems with existing tables*
Me*great. I just took the wrong luck card. fml*"I see. I am on it."11 -
There's this junior I've been training. We gave him a bigger task than we usually do
"How do I link an object in table X with the corresponding object in table Y?"
"How are objects in two tables usually linked? How did you link Y with Z in the first place?"
"Em... Foreign Keys?"
"Yup"
"But there's not foreign key from X to Y."
"Well, create one. You've got full creative freedom over this task."
I sometimes feel like Juniors are either completely careless about past code or overly carefuly with not editing any past code. Frustrating but adorable2 -
I am talking about my class'mates'
How about moving the chairs under the tables when you leave the classroom.
It's just a sign of decency which none of you seem to have.
Oh and hitting someone isn't fun either, or playing football with their book.12 -
User: I need you to extract all the invoice data for us.
Me: What invoice data in particular, what are filters you require. This is a massive database with millions of transactions.
User: JUST EXTRACT THE TABLE!
Me: Right.....(this is a database with 3000+ tables and hundreds of joins)7 -
I woke up early and thaught I could finish some database work today.
Beeing tipsy I deleted two production tables and shit my pants.
Luckily I do backups since the last retarded db-deletion.8 -
A : "The log tables of the licenses is broken, fix it"
Me : "But who ever made this didn't make a relation between master log table and the detailed one. I can't get anything from details table"
A : "There is a relation .. "
Me : "What ?"
A : "The date entry of each record"
Me : "I Quit" -
20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...
Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...
Don't know if I laugh or cry...3 -
Few months back, one of my good but non-dev friend came to visit me.
He: I've done a website in HTML. Can you help me make it responsive.
Without a second thought, I agreed.
*Opened the file in editor*
<tables> <tables> <tables> <tables>
I kicked him out of my house without a second thought.3 -
2 days to find where the NullPointerException came from, in a nearly 150 tables database. Once I found it I feel like the guy who found the grain of sand blocking the whole machine.2
-
While reviewing some DB work, I asked why most of the tables in the database didn't have indexes (some didn't even have primary keys).
He answered: "Well I thought they really didn't neeeeeeed them?"3 -
1. Remove chairs and tables.
2. Limit everyone to two minutes speech time.
3. When everybody got used to stand-up meetings, get down and plank.
Everybody will have a very strong interest in a quick and productive end to any plank-down meeting. 😁4 -
When UserID is an int(3) in one table, and then text(10) in another. And then the monent you see that the Username field is stored in both tables ......🖕🖕🖕🖕
Who dafuq wrote this crap?!?!?!?5 -
Hosting a PHP/MySQL application for a really wealthy NGO that must have paid thousands of dollars for the app, and everything works fine but no sanitised inputs and direct SQL statement execution. Just waiting for little Bobby Tables so I can charge them a fortune for recovery 😊5
-
How I should approach a new project:
- think about data design
- draw some tables
- configure relations
- create data structures
....
How reality proves I'm a donkey:
- builds random table
- works on models, with random querys
- realizes things get to complicated and relations are broken or tables need duplicate logic
- starts thinking about 'good' design
- draw some tables
- configure relations
- create data structures
.... -
MySQL databases beginning with "test" in the name gives even people without login full access to its tables.
Somebody deleted all tables so we had to get a backup from out hoster.
Thanks MySQL.1 -
Well... I accidently deleted a whole tables contents and the day just has started. Fuck this day already.2
-
#2
There's only one model. The user model, wich is preinstalled. But the database has many tables. All queries are generated manually. Within the "mainController".
😓🔨5 -
Dropping several production tables at my first job. Nobody died but I thought I was headed for Guantanamo..2
-
On our international trip to Greece we just had our room upgraded!
They have tables here!!
I mean if this counts..
5 -
So, part of my job is working with SQL. Not my favorite technology to work with. But the tables have mostly non-descript fields, multiple schemas in the same table, and encoded relationships spanning multiple tables. Yes, the database from hell! On top of that, there is very little documentation on this mess. -- And my boss wants me to write queries against a combination of these tables to make sure the program is working. RIGHT...3
-
About every project at my last job. Impossible to like any project with a boss that legitimately thinks frames and tables are a better option than learning css.
But why not, attribute styling on html-elements are the future indeed.7 -
Just purchased a new house and was looking for a new ISP. Found a local ISP that is still offering dial up services and "Professional Website Design". Their website was obviously pre-web 2.0 all static nested tables and sliced images.3
-
we spent days now cleaning years and years of trash in our db. we freed 100gb of pure nonsense, and we're still going. it feels cathartic. some tables i wanted to drop since i saw them for the first time3
-
What is the condition to join two tables ?
Programmer: primary keys match.
Non-Programmer: The tables height must match.😐1 -
This morning, I felt pretty good. I had a healthy breakfast and I took the longer U-bahn journey into work so as to enjoy the Autumn scenery. I get to my desk after greeting my colleagues with the customary "Guten Morgen" and I began to plan my work for the day. I see there is a new ticket assigned to me which relates to a HTML issue. The customer support team are able to use a HTML editor to made changes to a section of a user's dashboard and from time to time, I get asked to fix their mistakes. Usually, it is something small, but it makes me cringe every time I see the markup. "Tables...tables everywhere!!!", sighed the once happy dev.
Time for a coffee break and a sit-down with the support team
3 -
*learning HTML*
*Finds a nice example for tables*
*Scrolls down then instantly close the page*
He is using IE8 IN 2014 😓😒
2 -
i nearly had a panic attack when 3 tables contaning transactions shows empty,. then i reconnected dbeaver and it turns out it was fine,. damn my shitty internet!
-
First of all: FUCK MS WORD!!!
second: even tho I LOVE LaTeX, fuck LaTeX tables!!!
I mean, yeah, I am used to them, but maaaaaaaannn1 -
My natural environment. I once confined myself to the small area. The rest of my two tables are very high filled with some stuff.
And yes, the laptop is on folding rules. He's had a little heat problem for some time.
The Smurf is by the way my variant of a rubber duck.
3 -
Brain storming with senior lead developer. We try to add new tables in our database. But the Google spreadsheet goes wrong
4 -
So... About a month ago 2 interns started a project from scratch at my company. My boss gave them a project to follow as an example (more for the api and database side).
Wednesday they ended the internship and I've began to help fix the rest of the kinks that were left to be fixed. Friday we were finishing up the app and api to send to the client for tests. The database was created with 4 tables that were equal in structure... Imagine that you need a table for orders and they have status like pending, cancelled, finished and accepted. What they've done was they created 4 tables, one for each status....
Why the hell would you do this???5 -
"I'll just create these two tables without a foreign key. Nothing else will ever need this data except my app."
Another app looking at those two tables filled with information it needs:
2 -
I wanted the buttons to go to the fucking center but instead EVERYTHING BUT THE FUCKING BUTTONS WENT TO THE FUCKING CENTER IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF FUCKING DATA TABLES THAT I WANT TO FUCKING SHOVE IT IN JQUEERY'S ASS
6 -
To all people who hardcoded stuff like tables in HTML and even rant about how much work this was or how many lines of code they wrote, please stop the madness, please don't talk until you get the basics of programming and why computers are quite handy to handle repetitive tasks.4
-
That feel when the html parser you are stuck with randomly strips out css and js so you have to reinvent grid layouts with tables.
4 -
One Join is fine.
Two Joins I can live with.
Three Joins and we are starting the project from scratch again.
Fuck you! What do I pay you for? Eating berries? No!12 -
I accidently lost a whole tables data today. Lucky me I also created a XML-file on the server which was for printing.
I parsed the files back into a simplexmlobject and recovered most of the lost data. 💪13 -
"Okay, my query uses wrong date format."
"Why the hell I´ve put that join there? That´s not needed!"
"Why the hell I´ve joined the tables in THAT order?"
Joys of looking at your old code.2 -
Downloaded SQL assigment
Scroll fown to find the tables and the data
A table with the worst font to use
-
Debate:
What are your views on the CSS Grid?
Personally, I think it's tables, but now written in CSS.
I also think it takes the challenge, creativity and passion away from CSS21 -
Our production database has tables that exist only to be recompiled into a single table. Like, one record across 4 tables. Each record is only for one other record in the other 3 tables.
I LOST 2 HOURS DEBUGGING IT BECAUSE IT COULD NOT RECOMPILE THIS FUCKING TABLE. FUCK! -
Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??
said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...
3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()7 -
When you're looking at someone's web design because you think it looks cool and then you find out they've used nested tables for everything 😁7
-
I actually like the nostalgic feeling (if that makes sense) when making emails. Like fuck flex, grid and absolute! Just me, my table and inline css4
-
I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.
I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.
I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.
After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.
So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.
(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.
(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.
Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.
Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.1 -
senior: read the fucking development setup wiki
<senior proceeds to have problems>
somebody else tells them to read the fucking wiki
oh how the turn tables2 -
It's here, commercial use of Java after January 2019. On the other hand .NET Core is free. Funny how tables have turned. https://java.com/en/download/...9
-
' "productivity" software':
trying to format a document in Word / Libre Office,
text defaults to some condensed serif font,
any at-sign, "http" or "www" automatically generates a hyperlink in an ink-blue color,
formatting and alignment of lines or paragraphs causes unrelated other elements to change unless you make sure to use tables, tables, and nested tables everywhere like it's Netscape 20032 -
A question here reminded me of how websites were made long ago. Frames! Remember those little jewels? <frameset> and <iframe>, I still remember them. Man, even then it felt terribly wrong to use them. I remember using them to create web pages with header and side bar.
The only alternative was using <tables>, which, well, we know how they ended up. Frames today have been silently forgotten, but tables have been loudly hated for many years!
Ahhh, those were the times. So much has happened since then.
(Is "website" still a word today, btw?)7 -
About today when I was trying to migration 2 million+ records simultaneously!
Ran two migration @ once and this happened!
PS: On restart everything is back to normal but lost 2 tables data which needs remigration!
3 -
Needed to update one column in table A with data from table B (huge table).
Created awesome update query with join between the two tables.
A few hours later realized all data in table A is already being imported from table B in a query executed earlier in the process... -
Went thru some code today, found this...
WHY WOULD I EVER DO THAT?!
(It's fixed now, and yes, I still have all my tables in my db.)
4 -
Lua, tables ("arrays") start at 1.
It also has no sleep function and its defacto package manager (luarocks) has almost never worked for me without some serious fuckery7 -
My last boss insisted on using tables instead of divs and then asked me to make it responsive (every damn time). Also, functions that were over 10k of lines.4
-
Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.
-
I worked for this Chinese company, one of their systems that was supposedly handling millions of US$ in transactions per day had an API that returned HTML tables...
I stop you right there commenter, there was no format=json parameter.
Another of their API I gave up on:
Status = 200
Content = "error"3 -
How can an online marketing company work without any web developer? How can they look at their costumers' face and pretend to represent their communication using basic mailchimp and DESIGNING HTML WITH MS OFFICE? Can someone explain me why should anyone think a NEWSLETTER MADE OF FUCKING TABLES works just fine? Why spend money on inadequate software and shitty plans instead of using it for hire a good developer? They don't even understand the fucking mailchimp anyways, why pay for something you don't know how to use and then BLAME OTHERS WHEN STARTS RAINING SHIT BECAUSE OF YOUR DECISIONS?? I got nothing against salesman, and I believe ignorance is not a sin, but when those two elements merge, a fucking stupid raises in glory and I get to work three or four times more than if they just used common sense for once.2
-
At work I inherited some databases, were most of the tablecolumns are all varchar. No ID's, and everything is in one table. No relation tables no reference data. Because "we don't trust the users who fill the tables to understand relationships". And.. wtf.4
-
My best co-workers are my food buddies. Our tables are always full of snacks and garbage. Oh how i miss those days.
-
Confluence WYSIWYG editor for tables on wiki pages. Forget about git and GitHub idiosyncrasies, "at the end of the day" project documentation in Confluence and Jira is the real challenge.1
-
Export data from a database that you've not modeled is a problem (sometimes), I just realized that this DB has two tables to storage cities, the main difference is the id, the other fields are the same in both tables, I hate that kind of people....
-
What cloud service does DevRant use?
Aws Or Azure?
And how much do you pay a month for maintenance costs?
What tables to store data? MongoDB, dynamoDB, oracle?
Or S3 streams?
Just wondering.2 -
whose idea was it to give the business major access to the database? we have one thousand tables that do the same thing or absolutely nothing, everything is badly named, and THE GRAMMAR5
-
Today I deleted a lot of stuff
Fields, methods, classes, files, even database tables
And for a change, it was all on purpose 😁
Feels good to refactor stuff and clear out the cruft!3 -
Me: *asks for sample data for all tables to test database transactions*
Team member: *gives over 45000 records only for city*
🤔 😐 -
@dfox, @trogue I think with the birds, tigers, glass tables, monitors, and other toys in the avatars now. It's time for a new cartoon of the chaos and destruction that ensues when the pets fight!
Who's with me?2 -
I've seen JavaScript client-side app that was connecting directly to DB using hardcoded (obfuscated, lol) DB password xD
And yes, there was no DB setting that this user is read-only and only from few tables. It was like GRANT * ON *. -
When you have a one-to-one relationship, do you merge the tables into one table or do you keep the two tables?7
-
So my Database professor decided that we should design a database with like 4 tables and hundreds of records and we had to write like 100 queries to produce a specific output from the tables we designed. All in less than a week. This is the first time I'm learning about databases, mind you.5
-
The first time I've used JPA and Lombok annotations and suddenly didn't have to bother about getters and setters anymore and pretty much persisted my whole data tables with no effort.
Total game changer for me. -
Instead of using 2 dimensional arrays to represent tables, my supervisor implodes the arrays on a delimiter before loading them into the other arrays... then explodes them again when he needs to use them.
Why? "It's easier"4 -
YES!
Finished a complete version upgrade with vastly improved scalability and maintenance in just 3 weeks!
NO!
I forgot to do the database migrations as I went along. Ok... no problem.. I'll just use some kind of database comparing software, I'm sure they exist...
<googles...>
...fuck... is there not any for free?
Ok fine whatever i'll manually compare the tables and columns, fuck it. Sure there's like 50 tables and like 20 columns per... whatever...
should take like a day or so, with testing...
YES!
Finished my new version upgrade after just 6 weeks of coding!
....fuck sakes... -
Vertically aligning text with CSS is the bane of my existence.
Say what you will about tables, valign="middle" never let me down, and I could move on to shit that's actually interesting!1 -
Got added to a really exciting project in the morning by PMO, by the afternoon my manager had pulled me back to work on his boring project. Oh how the turns tables2
-
When you realise a so-called app developer has used nvarchar columns to store every single date record, in every DB table of your platform.
Using d/m/Y format.
Without leading zeros.
And, in just a few tables, m/d/Y.
*sigh*2 -
I FUCKING HATE JAVA
Wee need to do a schoolproject with JavaFX and TableViews. The editing of the tables works grate and is also displayed after commiting. But wen i take the data from the TableViews there is still the old one...9 -
Being dodged from admin to admin until they can figure out who can give me access to view db tables I am supposed to be using in the web app ><
-
TIL Github renders markdown YAML frontmatter as nested markdown tables! Awesome as lightweight structured data documentation tool
1 -
VBA on Word documents. It was my first ever application, making a report in Word with a lot of tables, which was based on data from Excel. Maybe it was just because I didn't really know how to make it eork smoothlt, but damn it was slow.1
-
not actually a coworker, but I had to take the place of this guy who made the whole websites layouts in tables. in 20122
-
What's your opinion on designed emails?
Do you have a themed template when writing to s.o. or do you use plaintext?
Or when an interesting newsletter offers both HTML and plaintext - which do you prefer? -
This moment when someone mentions you in an PR of an huge ORM clusterfuck with associative tables and discriminators...
And you accidentially say "Yes I'll look at it later" because you thought it was an tiny PR -.-
Should have opened that link first.7 -
I "love" when tables in database have columns such as UpdatedBy, Updated and this is the only audit that system has.11
-
Can gamedevelopers stop using lua as their freaking scripting language..
Every time I try and figure out how tables work and think I finally get it it throws a big fuck you curve ball.
Oh and then they use json file to store the data of a table except that those json interfaces are complete retards.
If you are going to support json files then why the fuck won't you put in a small fucking inconsecential JS interperter so you can actually find some docs regarding more complex fucking docs then those simple minded t[guildName] = "guild"
Another thing, why the fuck does lua not use {} like every other langauge. I use those curly brackets to figure out where shit start and ends half the freaking time.
Fuck this I'm out for today...
And a big fuck you with both middle fingers to any dev that thinks lua is a great scripting language for plugins.3 -
At my incubation place they put up these new, shinny tables and cupboards.
I was hoping maybe they will put a coffee machine. Instead they shifted the printers.
Talk about aesthetics.
2 -
!dev but if i have been catching covid it is because of these strangers hugging strangers and the group of regulars joining tables (not sql) and way too many masks on arms or below the nose. germans are yet dumber than i thought.5
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Most frustrating? Anything involving IE, but that's a safe answer. No, my most frustrating experience (to this day) is getting tables to behave responsively on mobile screens. Not easy when the tables in questions contain dozens of columns with hundreds of rows and mostly rely on fixed widths to render the text the way the client wants. So if you have a client who doesn't understand how hyphenation and word break work, I know how you feel.3
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This company have a group of three DB in their product. One DB consist of 130 tables, and they DO NOT HAVE ERD.
Better start one.....while I'm bored and do no have task yet.
~pokerface :|1 -
I love how tutorials advocating against ORMs use examples with tables that are only 5 columns wide.3
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iot+Android+Azure+mySQL+GoogleAPI+TwitterAPI
Oh, Only 1 bug. exterminate.
99 bugs.
Inserted 100 rows of wrong data into tables in a Loop.
RaspberryPi Burnt due to electrical feedback from the sensors.
Android phone froze.
Wow. I still have my sensors fine though. -
Client be like:
Hello,
could you please restore our database from today's backup?
At a first glance - nothing out of the ordinary. Daily backups are standard...
Until we get the backed up snapshot running.
MySQLDump is somehow... Stuck. It... Doesn't seem to be doing... Like, anything. For ages. Wtf.
So we check the database. Connect, change scheme and... The commandline tool gets stuck, too. Weird.
So a layer lower, we check the datadir and... ls... After also getting stuck for a bit, lists about 500k files O_o
Yea, dumping a database with roughly ~250k tables is not fun. No wonder it takes ages.8 -
i hate when people use great tools improperly. what is the point of using SQL if you're gonna have a thousand tables with redundant data?5
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F**k companies who's apps use MySQL/MariaDB tables of the table engine MEMORY.
Seriously.
That engine *sucks* to work with as an admin. It's such a huge pain in the ass having to always dump the whole DB instead of taking a snapshot.
And if the replica restarts... Poof. Replication breaks. Cuz all the memory tables are suddenly empty!
Fml. Fmfl. Ugh.17 -
LUA... its great! I love it... but WHY THE FUCK DOESNT LUA START COUNTING FROM FUCKING 0!!! WHY THE FUCK DOES IT START FROM 1! I SEARCHED HALF A FUCKING HOUR IN MY CODE AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK! then it hit me... LUA IS THE ONLY FUCKING LANGUAGE THAT STARTS FROM 1 and sure enough... after changes and testing IT FUCKING WORKED!
Fuck4 -
I once saw a DBA using two for loops in PL/SQL to join two tables. I wonder if he knew about the "alternative" way to do that...2
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I just don't get people designing database tables using VARCHAR/VARCHAR2 for columns that have numeric values in them, then use them as row identifiers.
I simply don't.
5 -
Callback your functions, not your ex.
Hash is for your data, not you,
Query tables, not your loved ones. -
Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.
If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:
margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;
However, when using border spacing:
border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;
I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea4 -
This fucking Integration test with h2 is driving me insane as it just doesn't work for what I need it to! 😤
The setup seems correct, the sql files are "processed" according to logs. Everything seems to be set up as supposed, as AI, colleagues or internet recommend ... yet no insert statements are shown and no data is found on retrieve. No schemas or tables exist in h2 console although log says all these millions of tables are apparently created.
WTF am I doing?9 -
Is There any good open source test automation frameworks testers can use to verify database insertions, such as message transactions? Everyday I get questions from testers to verify data and it's so tedious looking at MySQL tables to see if there data is present.4
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I have found that once you work for a company where you have to implement everything in its raw form using the raw language and raw logic, you really have to know what you're doing and knowing some basic/medium programming and having some algebra knowledge doesn't cut it (unlike some people think).
I've been at two sides of the coin: I worked for a company that had everything in place, a framework that handled all edge cases and what not and I just had to focus on user stories, but I also worked for a company where I had to do everything manually.
For example, at the latter company I had to know Discrete Mathematics; truth tables to their most convoluted and disgusting form, having to be able to apply this on a late Friday night with a headache and lack of food and sleep with the PM stressing out.
I've had to deal with NOT AND OR AND OR AND OR AND branches or whatever, where an OR behaves like an AND and if you want a value between an AND AND and an OR, you'd have to do a NOT OR.. to think about latches, all in my head, sigh, anyway, within limited time constraints, without even having time to write tests, having to make sure that everything checks out while the client is breathing down my neck. Yeah, not such fun times.
I'm happy for those of you who can just write some moderately difficult logic but you don't have to break your head over doing everything manually, as if you're in the coding stone age and nothing is taken care of.
Companies like these make me want to run away.3 -
I have a few projects on the go at work at the moment which could be successful, but only time will tell:
1. We have a requirement to monitor or SQL servers for any long running queries (anything that runs longer than 3 minutes). Company didn’t want to pay for enterprise grade solution so as the only SQL Developer I created a small system that involves a database, 2 tables a stored procedure and scheduled job. It goes off every 10 minutes queries some system tables etc and write the results to the tables. Still waiting for it to be deployed to one of the test servers. I have plans for a web front end in the future.
2. My company currently use source safe for version control. They’ve lost the admin password so only 1 person can log in. I’m running he project to plan the migration to GitLab. It’s getting close to completion and soon someone is going to be tasked with creating 100s or projects etc.
3. We use an ERP system which is huge with thousands of tables, but no FKs or anything like that. The current data dictionary is a spreadsheet, as a side project I’m creating a web app so that this information is easily available and searchable.
All 3 projects have the potential to be successful, for my team at least, but stuck waiting for other people to do their stuff first. -
When I was 11 or 12, and wrote my first webpage in php, designed with tables. Tables was the shit back then. none of that fancy flex box or bootstrap, and 50% of the internet was flash. T'was a good time to be alive.3
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Is there ever any reason for SINGLE Hibernate SQL query/template to join like 10 different tables, do math, and come out to like 30 lines?
This is not a stored procedure, it's a single SELECT2 -
Damn @&$#%£¥ hibernate. Why is ur API so $£¥%#*^ inconsistent and buggy????
@Index on mappedsupertype any? @index causing duplicate tables on hsqldb?? REALLY????
Why does it work on mysql?
Maxresults and fetch joins cause ALL rows to be fetched, instead of properly generating a „limited subselect“? WHYYYYYY, JUST WHY???? -
I am currently writing a software product for NHS patients and one of my tables was named 'condition'... guess who lost 2 hours of debugging...5
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Will I ever just do back end when client employs me to do so. -.- I always get front enders who are doing tables instead of lists for navigation. Is this fckin 2001, my name is Marty and this is Back to the future? -.-
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My programming paradigms unit has decided to explore different teaching/learning environments by creating lecture/workshops. Imagine a massive room with big projector screens at the front and smaller screens lined up against the wall at the back. The lecture room seats are designed around tables that are gradually elevated so it’s similar to a lecture hall but you’re sitting at discussion tables.
There’s the usual lecture with all the slides up around everywhere, there’s nice wheelie chairs and dimmer lighting... can’t tell if we’re at a conference or some awards night. Then all of a sudden, we’re coding in teams (tables) and uploading our work on to forums to discuss with the rest of the lecture hall. WHAAAAAAAT
Really different and quite enjoyable experience, there’s more than one tutor walking around to help, there’s mics for people to present.
Just sharing my new experience of forward learning environments that didn’t cause feelings of anxiousness for once or boredom. It was kind of mind blowing, wish it was always like this. -
What is the maximum number of tables in a single database you have ever seen?
Almost 900 for me :D8 -
Made a mysql innodb database go do a fancy shuffle like schrödingers cat, with many tables appearing as "ghosts", in production.
still not sure what went wrong.
i noted it was extremely slow and thought restarting the service might Help it... -
So we're using Jira Wiki for all the documentation related work. It's hell rich with features as they describe. But for me easiest way is to write doc on markdown and then copy paste on Wiki. Highlights code, format tables and aligns paras perfectly.2
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I'm currently testing live and that includes trying sql injection, i have no backups. So if i forgot to escape string somewhere, I'm fucked. I like to live dangerous :D
Alos, i always test sql injection with "--; DROP ALL TABLES;" Casue... It's a bad idea..?2 -
Need to write a query to find all scheduled reports, sounds easy, right?
Not in a system with over 1k tables all with obscure names and absolutely no foreign keys at all. -
PL/SQL is one of my primaries at work.
Does not have an official "multidimensional array" per-say. Instead you define anonymous tables types and point it at a different "record" type to define the structure. Then you can make a table of that table indexed by string/number/record/etc. It's all tables. Tables of tables of tables.
Reading it can be wild.1 -
It’s fascinating how IT and database admins want us to drop tables that we don’t use anymore... with read-only access!1
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When you finish a project that abuses vanilla js and canvas for real-time updates on tables generated from drag actions in a graphic (no raphael, paperjs or konvas) and test it in IE 😄
Thank god it's going to be applied in a controlled environment... a real browser can be used 😇 -
Ditch them completely.
In modern browsers you can emulate their behaviour easily.
They make your layout unnecessarily complex.
What the fuck am I talking about?
Tables in HTML. Fuck them. It may be just me and I still do not understand all of their defaults and when ti apply which style to which table element (thead, th, td...) but I found out that I can make almost everything with divs, flexbox or even some fixed widths or heights much easier to what I want than with tables.
Especially if you layout a complex scrolling component with static top row and static first column, it is nearly impossible with tables (and even without them you still need JS).
Ah, and fuck IE with a dirty trident. That thing can die in hell.2 -
Our app has web scale data. So let me take all my tables from a relational database and map them one to one to a collection in a document database.
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If you want a laugh, take a look at the source code on indeed.co.uk https://indeed.co.uk Its a mixture of shit tables nested in divs, absolute positioning. its shocking. They are a big recruitment site in the UK.
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Soo.. what do you do as a software developer, rank senior, when you turn 35 and programming kinda becomes repetitive. Data source this, controller that, factory f-yeah. Well, you sign up for math studies. And then you realize you forgot everything down to multiplication tables... fuck3
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when you go through 3 different teams and nobody can explain why a certain item is linked to a subscription and there's no linking row in any of the usual database tables
fml -
My phone was stolen so that's why I wasn't getting here to rant about this, but today I had to make a back up and remembered.
adminer's export function doesn't export the tables in the correct order for import. Doesn't take foreign keys into account.
Dude, that's the whole point of a relational database, relations between tables; if you don't take that into account then what's the point?
Is this the same for the rest of database managers or is it just adminer? Please tell me this isn't normal.4 -
Just sat through a demo of some clicky-draggy data visualisation stuff.
The guy showed us how you can write a custom script that takes a user input and pokes it into a sql command using string concatenation, so a very obvious injection vulnerability.
Ok, so it's only a demo. But you wouldn't do a demo with an example user called Captain Cock, so why do a demo with a screamingly obvious security hole?
Whole thing was basically pivot tables in a short skirt anyway.5 -
He said that table structure is not final and it may change.. So I start thinking possible solutions for tables with dynamic columns. A week later, he comes and tell me how they decided to change structure so i have to **add these 3 rows** on table.
Well............. -
Today the DBA-team (needed to keep our Oracle mess running) decided to change datatypes in tables that has been in production for 20 years. Without a headsup.
Great success!
Just took us 5 hours to debug good ol' visual basic code......
Why would you do such a thing!? -
self refrencing tables awesome concept but it pisses me off that mysql doesnt support "select with" query i had to think about writing recusive functions that builds a tree of n level i must say im kinda proud :p
2 -
How do you feel about not creating database tables for objects that only exist in relations?
For example, I have made a wiki engine. Because nothing on wiki pages can actually change, they aren't an entity. Revisions are an entity, and they refer to the title of the page which was changed. The same application also includes two non-version-controlled directed graphs between the pages (element of category and navigation log), which are represented by tables that link two titles. Of course the indexes are all set up so that it works like a foreign key would, but there is no Page or Article table. -
Sitting here debugging my SQL code that creates tables and references for a project. I always forget how easy it is miss the small stupid things like typos in your names. Nothing like debugging to remind you of how much of a dense idiot you are.1
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A database fetch. All rows at once. Not that many rows, maybe 50.
But oh boy when someone forgot that the repository is wired to magically inject SQL that joins other tables and does ineffective loops to create thousands of objects in the background.
Been fun finding memory hogs in the codebase. -
I'm working again with blue prism on a very very old SAP website. A hundred thousand nested iframes with a hundred thousand nested tables.
Please kill me, I long for the sweet embrace of death5 -
"The table names are irrelevant anyways, unless you want named tables"
I can barely believe that this sentence makes sense, if you put it in context, even though I wrote it.3 -
Being useful with what you do.
Do what you enjoy (rolling tables?).
Work somewhere, where the company cares about you. -
I'm working on an ecommerce site but it's attached to an old legacy system that the company used for logistics and point of sale
I just realized the previous lead dev structured it so all of the tables used in the new site are just the tables from the legacy system except prefixed by "new_"
Fuck this redundancy makes me angry -
I thought I had seen some poorly named fields in tables. Then I discovered this Microsoft documentation for a table in SharePoint: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/...1
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The pain of creating a data pipeline in AWS to dump all your DynamoDB tables into S3 is something I don't want anyone else to go through..Why don't you have a copy button..😭😭
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So i have been thinking..
SQL is a lang that runs on a specific software on the server, and helps creating data stores(databases and tables) that can be queried & manipulated.
is there a way to run sql like queries on the client side with no interaction from backend at all?
Say i have 5 inter related data models. in a backend world, they will form nice little tables of a db with all their joins and composite keys. from the server, i shall be querying them like "SELECT name from x where y=z & ..."
but what if i could store them like tables in browser memory and run the same query filters via a query language... is this possible?
i know this poses a certain security risk, but we already use cookies, local storage and a lot of json based shitty client side storages. surely it might be possible to have a lesser optimised sql tables on the frontend with extremely good querying capabilities?
or am i talking something far fetched here?8 -
Ok, this question is related to mysql and php.,
Let me state the current situation
I have a db, say "gd".
That db has several tables all with same columns.(i.e same fields for different manufacturers such as product name, cost , stock etc.)
Now i want to know how many tables have the product 'a' in them and what's the cost of 'a' in each of those table.(tables are generated dynamically so I'll never now how many tables are there, well ofcourse i can refer information schema, but just wanted to highlight this fact). So is there a way to achieve this?.. excluding "dump the whole data and then search it" solution.
Plz help, .. sorry for my bad English, .9 -
We should rename our "users" table to "losers".
It would be more accurate, plus the added benefit of security through obscurity - we'd be immune to little Bobby Tables.4 -
Be vary of entering commands from history (Arrow Up), especially if you did a destructive command not long ago.
Did this in a database for a game. I cleaned the clan tables not long before release. Then a short while after the release I searched for a clan related query and ended up clearing one of the tables again (ofc on autocommit). :|
So had to delete the related tables and notified people they had to claim their clan name yet again really quick.
---
Never had the issue on linux yet, but I'm usually vary when doing a generic destructive command (like "rm -r *"). The problem rarely happens with zsh (you can arrow up based on what you already typed) but I'm often still vary and prefix the command with a space to prevent it showing up in my history.6 -
Had an intern job at a established company, that mostly did equity reports. They made create HTML email templates out of tables for 2 weeks. Fun times.
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"Because the compiled terminfo entries do not contain metadata identifying the indices within the tables to which each capability is assigned, they are not necessarily compatible between implementations"
Come ooonnnnn wtf even is this -
When your project partner tells you not yo use database constraints, know that he's about to do some messy handling of the database.
How can someone make a user deletable and leave his other data lying around in other tables? I'm tired.
Messy codes everywhere.2 -
Microsoft crosses Apple with most valued company.
How tables have turned again. 🤦🏻♂️
https://reuters.com/technology/...11 -
Not writing enough utility programs for those occasions where you have no option but directly modify database tables in production.
-
That moment when you do the last test and confidently upload code only to find out you overwrote the remote dev's changes and the Git commit hadn't yet occurred meaning the backup didn't preserve it so now you're screwed until the developer gets around to restoring it. Tables were flipped this day.
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I just had a flashback to the good ole days of using HTML tables for website layouts. Tables within tables within tables were pretty ridiculous, but they really got the job done pretty well back then. It makes me think about how technology changes and a principle that was once so widely used is now almost completely obsolete.5
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Asked to map the old database into a diagram. Looks like someone threw up spaghetti. It is so full of tables named "obsolete" I don't understand!
-
Started the weekend early. I finished everything with 15 minutes to spare. And I learned how to create aliases for more than 250 Oracle tables without having to create each one individually. I finished the day, and a stressful week on a high note. Satisfied.
3 -
I really love how quick it is to get data from SQL with Djangos ORM. But heaven forbid I want to do a WHERE EXISTS clause. Comparing against two tables should not be that hard....1
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2nd day of deployment!
Till now its going smooth; server configured + tables migration is ON!
PS: Migrating old site to new ;)1 -
i want to make an object from data from multiple related tables in my database,
do you know a better way?
7 -
What do you think of the Database design of Drupal/WordPress? They use 2 tables for 85% of the data!! Product, pages, whatever are all stored in the same 2 tables. Does that work out better than having each content type in separate tables?
I'm thinking of making an ERP. Would that table structure work there?2 -
I thought the web standards finally are a bit okay to work with. Just learnt that writing responsive HTML email templates really really feels like writing code which we did in the previous century. Tables. Tables everywhere. It's worse than table inception5
-
When someone truncates several tables and removes their column indices in DEV so my quick two line change testing goes from taking 30 minutes to 3 days while I restore all 200 million rows and re-index all the columns. 🙄
-
The PO asked if there were a couple of scripts he could run to get counts of specific things in the production database.
after a few days and iterations I'm now getting suggestions from him on how to create and drop temp tables -
Microsoft Word. Back in the day, that's what was used to write documentation.
I would give up after many unsuccessful attempts to get tables, indentation and numbering to work just the way I wanted them to. -
MySQL tables named haphazardly, table column names in mixed cases, redundant columns and tables, the horror
-
Sure boss, we don't need staging. Let's just copy some tables from our customer's server to our testing machine, overwrite our data with theirs and start testing "simulating" their environment. It's not that we need to test for our production, right?
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Slack!! Can you please add IP tables to your chats. I Have to be banning some people from sending me chats temporary!1
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I wondered what they were doing.. after a while they called me over.. they were trying to inner join 3 tables and struggling.. FFS.
-
There are many issues with designers. Let's skip hamburger fuckups, navigations on bottom or other stuff. What pisses me of most are tables. Simple tables. As many times as i remember i told them: plaease, design this table with full borders around cells. Your design will make problems with rowspans a cellspans. Why you keep doing that? This is not like tables list in your fucking IS, where you tracking your shitty designers tasks.
How to talk with them? Blow their dicks off before discussion so they feel happy?
But you know, i'm just coder... I have no main word on design things.
10 -
!Proscriation
Going to the bathroom, pick the phone... And start coding.
Copying tables from paper to html :p -
My team leader said to implement some dynamic tables so in the future we dont need to program anymore.1
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Okay, so I had an object consisting of tables (basically classes) and structs (classes with only scalars as their properties).
I was about to serialize the object with vectors of classes and structs and wrote some nice tests for it wondering why they fail to validate the data after deserialization and why I only got garbage for the vectors of structs whilst the tables worked just fine.
Turns out there is an undocumented function called CreateVectorOfStructs which shall be used for structs instead of the regular CreateVector ...
There go three hours of blaming memory issues and running Valgrind over and over again ... -
POLL:
What kind of office do u prefer working at?
1. Big open space (with tables and no separations)
2. Open space with cubicles
3. Medium room (3-5 ppl)
And did ur preference change due to covid?7 -
Ask a client to populate Dev and QA environments with Prod data. They also populated prod with the data two more times.
-
a former manager once asked me if db tables and views are the same thing.... I am still laughing when I think about it..
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What do you guys think of wp plugin that displays charts from MySQL tables and wraps into a shortcode?2
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Uh, oh. Helping finish a project heavy on forms. Notice that everything is straight up jQuery to pull and push every single individual input value. Not a form tag in sight. But there are tables. Tables are everywhere.
-
Does something like this exist in the NodeJS ecosystem:
- Reads js-based ORM model definitions (e.g. ones defined by sequelize.define())
- Syncs the database's tables with said model definitions without using migrations
I've built something like this and it seems revolutionary, but I wanna make sure I'm not reinventing the wheel.4 -
So i've not slept all night, come into work and my first mistake 1 hour in is migrating data from another project into a production database now i have redundant data and redundant tables, well done! fml
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How do I use Tables? I'm trying to do some retro we design for my personal site,but I can never seen to get how to use tables.4
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Do companies still use the Merise method? It seems a bit off to me.
I am learning it at school, but it makes many tables that I think could be merged into one...3 -
My Spark Program to process changes from Kafka topic to DB table is working end-to-end. But when it is manually terminated when an insert/update/delete is in progress, the whole tables data gets dropped. How can I handle this in a safe way?3
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