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CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”16 -
Ok so 10 yrs ago:-
Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.
*I create the thing and submit it*
<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>
<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>
<I grab a seat>
Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.
Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????
Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.
<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>25 -
Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.
Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.20 -
Professor: "Who here regularly backs up all their data?"
*Some people raise their hands*
Professor: "Who has at some point lost their data?"
*The exact same people raise their hands*22 -
today at programming class...
professor: today we will be teaching you about vim and using the terminal and ssh. those who are smart enough to know these may leave the class, but be sure to sign the attendance sheet.
me: *starts packing and stands up and walks up to the front to sign*
me: *turns around*
EVERYBODY WAS LOOKING AT ME. i was the one only who stood up and the professor was also looking at me like "wtf this doesnt happen everyday". and so i walked out of there and im so proud of myself lmfao58 -
DO YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY TELL US IN THE SECOND SEMESTER OF OUR MASTERS DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL THAT ARRAYS START WITH 0?!?14
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University highlight
Professor: I uploaded 25 C exercises with a 3 week deadline at eclass.
*4 hours later* Me: I completed the exercises.
Professor: ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?
Me: Let me show you
???
Professor : Feel free to skip class for the rest of the month
Well played!11 -
"Python is such a hard language. It has so many rules" - Undergraduate Student who sent out mass email to the class
*Professor makes the next assignment in ARM Assembly*10 -
Networking Professor: Alright, how many of you disagree with the way Google collects and uses data?
*basically everyone in the lecture hall raises their hands*
Professor: Okay, now if you were offered a job at Google, how many of you would still take it?
*everyone raises their hands.*22 -
Halloween joke, anyone?
"If you want a slutty costume for Halloween, you should go as my professor. He barely covers anything important" 😁9 -
My professor( 2 yrs ago) : Why r u wasting ur time on Python. Learn Java or .net , u will get a good job.
Now she asked me for python tutorials cause she needs it for her PHd. 😂😂😂12 -
Professor at Uni: "Missing a semicolon on yozr final exam could be a reason to fail that exam. Coding on paper is much better because that is what you will be doing on the job. "
Hate those written Java exams on paper.18 -
In my web dev class today the person beside me was having an issue. The professor comes over and tells him to open the HTML file in whatever browser he wants. His exact words were: "Use your favorite browser."
The kid opened fucking IE.5 -
Professor in OS lab: Open up Cygwin and try some Linux commands
Me: Opens up dual boot Ubuntu and runs the commands on Terminal
Professor looks at my system: Is this the latest Windows 10 ?
Me: ...13 -
Our Web Technology professor taught us this in the year 2016, he said and I quote,
"HTML frames are the latest technologies in the www and are supported by new generation browsers only, for example Netscape navigator."14 -
The professor teaching my Web Applications course (which is taught in PHP) just admitted to learning PHP two weeks before the course started 🤦🏻♂️26
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It's saddening to see that most of the students in my programming class don't care about programming :(
And it's heart breaking to see that the professor is using html4 instead of html5. 😣😣11 -
My CS professor just told my class of 200 people that 1 is a prime number.
You can practically hear centuries of mathematicians rolling over in their graves7 -
"There are different types of crack"
- My IT professor addressing software piracy and drugs at the same time2 -
Back when I was in college I had this CS professor who was by far the worst I can remember. The class was some bullshit 100 level required intro to CS course, and the guy tried to make it as difficult as possible. Beyond that, he was just a bad professor and did stupid things.
One of the most memorable things he did was give homework assignments, and then in order to collect them (it was a lecture class of about 150 people), he would have everyone pass their printed assignments to the right, and these sheets of paper traveled all the way across the lecture hall in every row of seats. It was a complete mess.
As you can probably guess, he frequently misplaced homework assignments, and many were probably lost through this ridiculous method of turning them in. Some people almost failed this ridiculously easy class because he lost their homework assignments. I think he lost like one of mine so it didn't matter much, but some other people in the class almost failed because of this. I think in the end he had to make a lot of exceptions because of this obvious trend.
Beyond that, he was an older guy who had worked for IBM, and he made that known at least once per class, usually more. "IBM this, IBM that!" So fucking annoying.
I'm glad to be long done with college.6 -
I remember some years ago when a professor asked -
"What is the difference between SQL and MySQL?"
And one of the students answered -
Uh... I don't know... SQL is more like a general SQL and MySQL is a personal SQL...
:|5 -
Completed a project for my final year CS degree and my professor rejected saying it is of very few lines of code.Hope he learns to evaluate projects on complexity and logic rather than number of lines of code. :/29
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A Professor of mine - We need u to build that website so that your juniors could work on it too after u leave.
Me - Sure, I'll have docs and vcs
Prof : Whatever, at the end we need the "exe" ready.
---------😇4 -
Professor essentially doing a dance to show data visualisation:
“Hey pay attention! I’m trading my dignity for your education”2 -
My friend build a website on Ruby on Rails for his semester end project.He used Lorem ipsom to represent text.
Our professor thought he used some template and gave him 0.7 -
Professor refers to Linus Torvalds as the most arrogant developer. Says no one uses Git and thinks it has no advantages over SVN. Forces us to use SVN. :'(21
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My bio professor has a word doc called passwords that she keeps on an unencrypted external hard drive.
She leaves the hard drive in the room with all of her other stuff when she goes for a break between classes.16 -
I used to sit next to my friend Mira in class. I did all the homeworks and extra homeworks, she didn't. I had better grades in intermediate exams. When the final grade came, I had a grade lower than hers.
When the next semester started, I met that professor again. He called me Mira! 😡3 -
My professor once asked us to brainstorm a good topic for our IT seminar/workshop.
I suggested version control using Git.
She simply shrugged it off. She said she needed a topic that the class can use. WTF.1 -
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
-courtesy of a software engineering professor2 -
A few weeks ago at infosec lab in college
Me: so I wrote the RSA code but it's in python I hope that's ok (prof usually gets butthurt if he feels students know something more than him)
Prof: yeah, that's fine. Is it working?
Me: yeah, *shows him the code and then runs it* here
Prof: why is it generating such big ciphertext?
Me: because I'm using big prime numbers...?
Prof: why are you using big prime numbers? I asked you to use 11, 13 or 17
Me: but that's when we're solving and calculating this manually, over here we can supply proper prime numbers...
Prof: no this is not good, it shouldn't create such big ciphertext
Me: *what in the shitting hell?* Ok....but the plaintext is also kinda big (plaintext:"this is a msg")
Prof: still, ciphertext shows more characters!
Me: *yeah no fucking shit, this isn't some mono/poly-alphabetic algorithm* ok...but I do not control the length of the ciphertext...? I only supply the prime numbers and this is what it gives me...? Also the code is working fine, i don't think there's any issue with the code but you can check it if there are any logic errors...
Prof: *stares at the screen like it just smacked his mom's ass* fine
Me: *FML*12 -
When your professor tries to tell you no one uses git in industry and you feel bad for all the other students who believe him. Side note: he is convinced everyone uses subversion.
8 -
I remember when my professor in Linux Kernel Programming told us this is a programmers bible, everyone has this one right ?
12 -
I was just chatting with my professor after class and I got on the topic of my class that makes us use Visual Studio 2010 and he seemed very interested in that, so come to find out, he's "the guy that makes sure classes are using up-to-date technology"
I was like OH SHITTTT4 -
I see people complaining about their CS professors quite frequently. Meanwhile, my CS professor stays late and is always willing to help us out with our work. I've been to his office twice this week to get help with assignments, and each time he's glad to help.
Oh and he offers us a soda as we get ready to leave. He has a filing cabinet full of can sodas. 100% my favorite professor I've ever had.5 -
I took an AI class and we'd have weekly AI poker tournaments. I beat everyone in the class every week except one, and I even beat the professor a handful of times!11
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Poor Dijkstra is probably crying in his grave because my professor calls him "digest-tra" 😢 feelsbadman8
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Actual quote from professor regarding homework that has us recreate the ArrayList: "If you import ArrayList I will punch you in the Goddamn mouth!"
This semester ought to be fun2 -
I had a professor, in college that believed "sometimes we have to fire customers. There are bad customers and it serves no purpose to spend time and effort in serving them when they burn you out and are simply bad customers" and I share that vision.
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Solving a problem with a different, simpler solution than the one the professor intended and having to go back and recode it the way he wanted6
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(Senior level engineering course and our professor used to work for NASA. This can lead to some fun anecdotes during class.)
Professor: “Because the ends have such a small surface area, you can neglect them in your calculations.”
Student: "What would NASA do?"
Professor: *without missing a beat* “They'd probably use the wrong units and crash into Mars."2 -
The time I had to explain to my CS professor that HTML elements can in fact have multiple classes.6
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Our professor in our college deliberately makes a mistake in the program and ask people how it happened.
If someone solves it he complements them and it really makes them feel motivated.
I think he is the best professor 😊😊4 -
So today, i taught my professor something, and he was genuinely curious. I also told him about my part time job building websites. He is a really cool guy and wasn't a dick about a student knowing something more than himself. There should be more professors like him.
What a wonderful world we live in!5 -
Day 1 of my CIT major:
Professor: "...and if we use the right mouse button to click on any file, we can access a complete menu of secondary actions."
It's going to be a long semester.3 -
Our professor in operating system lecture, topic: multiprocessing, today: "Just kill all children".2
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"Fatal Error"
Exceptions? No, let's just halt the entire program.
Apparently a CS professor wrote this code.
"Needed to keep the compiler happy"
17 -
Today at college our professor was dictating Debain update command - "sudo apt-get update"
Person next to me complained it didn't work for him. Peeped into his screen to see - "pseudo apt-get update"1 -
This Part 3 and finale of the tale of Mr DDTW, or the worst coworker I've ever had to deal with. I suggest you start from the beginning if you don't have the context, it's been a trip.
Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605
Part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4220715
The problem with this man threatening to snitch on me to the professor if I didn't revert my commit was that he backed me into a corner. Letting him go at his pace with his quality standards would have ruined the project for the rest of us, and I'm not going to let three other people's grades suffer because one was lazy. I'm the PM, team lead, the guy who will ultimately be held responsible for this project succeeding or failing and the mediator of problems.
So I snitched first.
The professor knew us. He had an idea of how we worked as a team, who was enthusiastic about this subject, who was diligent, and who wasn't. It'd been half a semester and he wasn't stupid. I'd also taken the not-so-minor task of testing our software and handling all the little integration problems between components and between the professor's server. This had resulted in several calls between me and him because he'd been flying by the seat of his pants with some of the upgrades he'd been doing to the server code and as the fastest group we were the ones running into all the bugs on his end. And he'd also noted our prior complaint and seen the discrepancy in commits, author tags and hours logged. Mr DDTW had been graded significantly worse than the rest of us. So when I sent him a goddamn novel about our team's internal problems, the bomb was set. And so we get to the conference call, with everybody panicking and with no clue what any of this is about. Except me.
Dear god. That call was pure catharsis. Never have I seen a man get demolished so hard. Mr DDTW got a 45 minute LECTURE, a goddamn SMACKDOWN, about how he needs to take some responsibility for this team effort and that in the real world he'd have been fired. And the professor was so incredibly serene throughout! He could've blasted him with the rage of a thousand suns but he said it in such a way that Mr DDTW's only real responses were "yes", "I understand" and "I'm sorry". An entire semester of this useless fucking bitch being nothing but a leech on our team in three separate projects and he was finally getting SCHOOLED. And then, it gets even better. The professor asked how we could solve this problem, as Mr DDTW needs to do work to be graded but he can't hold us back.
I dropped a suggestion: As I had implemented the module in a way that worked, we could carry on using my version while Mr DDTW could work on a separate branch. Everything else was working reasonably well for an MVP, we just needed to improve and test now, so if Mr DDTW got it working we could merge it back into the main branch. This solved the team's problem of not being able to progress, it solved Mr DDTWs problem of not wanting to fail the course, and it solved my problem of not having to work with this shit-for-brains for the forseeable future. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. No more Mr DDTW. No more bitching and no more shitcode. A grating arsehole that had been bugging everyone all sememster put in his place and out of my hair.
On the way home from uni that day, I rang a friend and told him the entire story as I needed to get it off my chest. Every time I brought up a problem, an issue, a setback, an argument, he made a remark.
"Damn, if only he just... did the work."
Every time he said it it was in a slightly different way, but every time it made me laugh harder as he just didn't stop interrupting me with the same comment. If only he did the work. But the funniest part of all was how right he was. Mr DDTW had so many opportunities to just sit down, shut up, and do the work like the rest of us, but instead he decided to do fuck-all until he got flak for it and proceeded to dig his own grave. What sort of delusional entitlement, sheer incompetence or other dumbfuckery was he suffering from to make such terrible decisions? It's his last year of university and he still hadn't learned to just do the goddamn work (I would later find out that his friend had covered his shortcomings a lot and was apparently the reason why he hadn't flunked out of uni yet).
And so ends the story of Mr Didn't Do The Work the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of working with. We never did merge his branch as we ran out of time during testing. The professor passed him, possibly out of pity or just so that he wouldn't have to resit the course and burden some other poor sods. We weren't the top scorers this time, partially because of my shortcomings as PM but mostly because of the huge delays and manpower deficit, but we did well enough to pass the course with some very high grades. With one exception of course.5 -
What my professor teaches:
This is a mouse and this is a keyboard
What he asks in exams:
How do you use this particular keyboard and this mouse to create a potato?
That is pretty much what always happened.. Even in theoretical exams.. :|5 -
My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.
I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!4 -
"C Vectors, Python Lists and Java Arrays are all the same things!" - my IT professor.
He's really talented... :D Don't you guys think? And the fun part is that these "gems" are quite common lately...
I hope I'll graduate soon ;_;17 -
Online course with ASP.NET 4.
Professor is a loser, convincing students into using shitty 2010 software which will not install and is no longer supported.
>> Sends mass email explaining how to use VS2017
Met with praise. Fuck outdated teachers and technology, truly a shame.5 -
When my partner in a project has a sudden change of heart and confesses to the the professor that he cheated and we both get a negative mark(-8 marks) even though i didn't know or participate in cheating 😡6
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I had a professor in college who was "the expert in java programming language". He had a unique way of teaching.
P: So you save your java file and run this command.
*Some error occurs*
Me: But this is showing some error
P: Exactly. I wanted to show this exact same error so that you learn that this is not how its done. I will let you figure it out how its done and it will be your assignment for the day. Class dismissed.4 -
Fucking teammate who did not know how to read/write a simple class diagram.
We warned him that he have to study or we just kick his fucking ass out of the team.
He just did nothing. When we had meetings he just stayed at home pretending to have an heart issue needing surgery.
After just 2-3 days he was tagged on FB in a photo shooted a few days earlier where he was riding a bike for a competition.
He skipped another scheduled-a-fucking-week-before meeting saying that he was on a surprise trip, when I called him 5 minutes before meeting start.
In the end we just kick him out because he did nothing. He went to professor talking about some relationship problem in the team and asked him if he could continue the project by himself just forking the ours.
Professor said HELL NO SON OF A BITCH.
But our team learned a precious lesson : choose your team carefully.5 -
Just got an email from a professor.
"Please note that there are times that are blocked on the schedule! I’d also ask that you not pick a time marked as 'free'."
...
Then when do we meet7 -
Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.
My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂
It goes without saying that he stole the show.2 -
More of a college prank
We had this professor who used to send at least 3 emails to us about non sense stuff. Irritated i wrote a Python script that sent her 10000 emails everyday. The emails stopped!!10 -
Professor: Envision a person as an object, what methods would it have?
Student: Run
Prof: Yes, good example.
Other student: Jump
Prof: yes, people also do that
Me: Die
Prof: Well yes, but I'd prefer we don't take this any further27 -
First year at uni, during c++ basis.
The professor has just finished explaining the while cycle.
Professor: We want the code to print all numbers from 0 to 40 using a counter. How would you do?
Classmate puts up his hand: we do 40 if statements and when we reach the 40th one we stop.
Professor: *face palm*9 -
I'm taking a summer code class and the professor is shoving Atom down our throats even though I'm a diehard Sublime user. We literally couldn't continue in class until he went one by one through everyone and made sure they had his exact Atom setup10
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Friend of mine at college is struggling with his cpp class.
Have been helping this guy since forever with it, he is not a coder by any means nor does he display any sort of affinity or "talent" for it. But he does make up with intense dedication. Still he knows that he will not be pursuing a career in software engineering, this is just a class.
The thing is, he showed me a video of his class. The instructor is middle eastern with a thick accent. Accent so thick I need subtitles for this motherfucker.
He has learned more from me that he has at uni. And at my day job the interns say the same thing. I love teaching and far prefer it over working on projects.
This week we have a meeting with the head of the i.t dptmtn at school as nd I will try to pitch myself in as a faculty member by popular demand.
I would love to teach, i have experience in the field and learn a lot from going over shit as an instructor. I can make one go from wtf is JS used for to handling promises and writing Angular in days.
I really want to teach man.7 -
Me - I am sorry my dog eats my homework
Comp sci professor - your dog eat your coding assignment?
Me - ...
Professor - ...
Me - it took him couple bytes10 -
Remembering a university lecture
Prof: "What are some other downsides of using polling instead of interrupts?"
Student: "The process has to wait until it gets polled."
Prof: "Exactly. When you click Ctrl+W, you want that tab to be closed immediately. You don't want the system to wait a few seconds for those keys to get polled and risk your mom looking at that tab."6 -
My Professor today, explaining data distribution in distributed systems:
"Imagine distributing Username data in subsets, such as A-C, D-F, G-I, J-L etc... And we have a lot of users with A .... *long pause* A bunch of assholes basically .."1 -
When your web design professor expects you to make your whole final HTML and CSS website project with NOTEPAD... 😖😵11
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Sitting in an introduction to C++ class (I've been programming for 5 years but every job wants to see a degree even if it means taking boring intro classes)
I see the professor write code like this....
First: Ever heard of break;
Second: I know it's not wrong to write it like this but ever heard of spaces!!!!!!!
14 -
I’m not paying all this money to watch my professor choose Internet Explorer when she has both Chrome and Firefox1
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I don't know how to really put this but a professor at my university thinks adding a space in java program will help to execute code successfully .I am rethinking over my decision to join university18
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Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.
Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.
*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?
Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!
Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.
Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!
Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?
Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.
They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.
Suddenly my professor has a thought.
Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.
Client: ...4 -
In the uni at an exam:
Professor: I can't let you pass.
Student: Can't you ask me something?
P: I can lose my job if I let you pass5 -
'Yay!! My program runs and is giving expected output.'
** Professor gives large input file **
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
'FML'
(My story in every algorithms lab)5 -
A professor once told me he loved being a CS professor because "you can't smoke and then code well." I laughed my butt off because a solid majority of his class smoked right before class every day.
The look on his face when I told him the truth about his students was priceless. I feel bad about shattering his world view. Kind of.3 -
My professor asked my to write a method that recursively reversed() a linked list. Wrote an iterative version with the same name and called it in the recursive method. How I felt after she wrote 100 for my presentation...
6 -
WHY DO WE HAVE TO BUY THE PROFESSOR'S BOOK JUST TO BE ABLE TO PASS THE COURSE?
It's so stupid, I'm currently attending a Operating Systems course at university and the professor NEEDS us to buy his book because all of the tasks and seminars are based on his book. It is stupid! There are thousands of books out there on Operating Systems programming! Free ones too! But instead we have to spend 800SEK (100USD) on his book.
And guess what? There is literally one task based on his book... To summarize the chapters about Fixed Priority scheduling and Dynamic Priority scheduling. Which is 15 pages out of 200+.
All the students attending the course are going to the director of studies and complaining next week. This is unacceptable. If it was a good book, sure. But the book has the same exact information as multiple free e-books we've found.
Ridiculous.15 -
Today I had the pleasure to introduce to my Professor (who teaches Python) that you could cause a keyboard interrupt typing Ctrl-c. Her logic was that "Ctrl-c is for Copy" and the only way to end a infinite Loop in the shell is to, "X out the Window." She also clearly has never dealt with linux or terminals.13
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Software engineering course.
Professor wants to show us some Java code.
*Opens eclipse*
*Font super small*
Student: can you please increase the font size?
Professor: sure.
*Can't find the correct setting to do that*
Professor: does anyone know how to increase font size?
Some student at the back: copy the code to notepad++.
:/
Cool professor though..9 -
Professor asks me to do research on deep complex neural networks, as in neural networks that perform on complex numbers.
Meanwhile me: "Google, what are complex numbers?"24 -
Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor
"You at the back - what's the answer!"
Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"
He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"
I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".
Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"
He never liked me after that.4 -
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part I)
I've had several great mentors during my career. This is the story of the three most important.
1.- Professor E.
When I was on my first year (University - Computer Science), all my professors were 'normal' except for this one.
E. was the Programming I - Laboratory professor. And the most important thing he teached us was to think. To be independent, and to look for answers beyond simple solutions.
He was always pushing us beyond what was requested and to try new things, to try to improve our own solutions and to look at them as always improvable.
In a regular class, this would happen:
Student: Hey E. How can I do this X requirement?
E.: Use function xyz with A and B parameters.
S: Ok thanks...
...10 minutes later...
S: Hey E. that function doesn't work very good for my case.
E.: You have a book, you have internet connection. Don't waste 10 minutes trying to abide what I told you. Investigate, find a way or even a better way; use your resources.
Other example, in the first year all projects were requested to be delivered with text based interface (console projects).
What about E.?
"Well, you CAN deliver your project with a text based interface BUT you definitely SHOULD try to make a GUI, something simple but effective. Just so you learn more in the process"
Good E. He gave me strong foundations for this industry.2 -
That moment when you’re asked to shift the entire project from arduino to raspberry pi because your professor likes jazzed up crap.
Arduino so freaking reliable. A gem in a box.
Raspberry Pi is flashy hollow shiz.
7 -
I'm forced to open-source all code from my masters thesis as my professor was planning on stealing everything to use as his own.
Anyone ever done such a thing before? anything to bear in mind?7 -
I go to college online and I'll admit I'm a little annoyed that my Web Dev professor makes us code using notepad and doesn't allow IDE's. I get the point but it's obnoxious, this isn't 2003.14
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Okay I just had the first good experience of my college career (It's my last semester)
Professor put the PDF versions of all the textbooks in their syllabus.
Swear to god I nearly came.
Good job, professor. -
When a professor says, "strings are an array of characters" and you proceed to post a question on stack overflow containing the phrase, "strings are an array of characters" and get a healthy dose of knowledge about what strings actually are....
I'm paying for this education?12 -
I'm taking a unit at my university called 'simulation and modeling'. Today was the first class and the professor was talking about random number generators.
Professor: Every language has a function to generate...Every good(emphasis on good) language has a function to generate a random number... Oh well even php does...
😂😂😂😂I'm already in love with the unit...5 -
My professor once said "You'd be amazed if you'd know what Excel is capable of.". Honestly I've seen some really interesting stuff, yet this amazes me.
https://dev.to/michaelneu/...4 -
Finding out that your professor at the esteemed ivy league you attend has no real world experience in CS outside of the CS graduate program at said university...
#teachyourself
6 -
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes." -
When my professor wanted us to make a GUI for a Pig Latin Translator on the first day of Intro to Java and it was due that night. Like I just learned what System.out.println(); does, how do you expect me to do that?3
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Q:Why should a professor teach things that aren't in the source book?
A: so he can get an exam that not even himself can answer properly!
Q: But why?
A: no one knows the answer. It's one of the philosophic questions that has no answer. But maybe to hurt his students!5 -
The University Professors are full of shitt !!!!!
Just ended up scoring less than my team-mates in 3 projects when I was the one who did the complete work !!!
Even I was the one who presented the projects. Soo tired of this randomly marking thing !! :/4 -
CS professor: the less code you have the better programmer you are.
I beg to differ. Security isn't always short.2 -
University, Italy
We have sent our code to the professor for correction.
Professor : Who wrote the code with comments in english?
Proud student : me !
Professor : you failed to write the algorithms, and also made mistakes with a lot of English words.3 -
Today's the day! We're having a "Christmas lecture" with one of my favourite professors, I'm excited!
And afterwards: Punsch 🍹
My prof is so cool he has his own meme:
5 -
First day of the academic year(CS):
(some uni official) - "And remember to become a good programmer you have to become an excellent mathematician first"
(Me): Oh shit.
Little did I know...
It is a second year now. And the only course I failed is the one that he lectured.
I had no fucking idea that people like this (mad)man exist.
Almost at every lecture he was introducing at leas one topic that was way beyond our program; as he thought they were interesting and "fun".
Many teachers at the University refered to him as a very 'ambitious' man. Then I didn't blame him he truly loved his profession and wanted to share as much knowledge as possible(I thought).
But two months ago he went to far. It was a second exam(for those who failed the first one). And believe me there were a few(60 out of 160 to be exact).
Only ~30 people showed up as the rest failed to many courses and would be kicked out of the uni anyway.
He was handing out the exams when I saw that whoever gets one slowly starts turning white.
I finally got my copy and immediately I realized that the tasks are from his favorite topics, the "fun" ones. 🤦
At this point I knew that it will be extremely hard to pass. But when I was reevaluating my life choices something draw my attention.
One of the tasks had a note below it: "Homework after the exam: It is a very interesting problem just assume x instead of y and try to solve it. PS: it is a lot of fun!"
At this point I lost it.😠 I don't care how much you love math, you should always assume that not everyone loves it as much as you do. So don't push it down the throat of people who clearly don't need a degree in this subject!
Now I'm preparing for the second semester with this guy. And I have a strong feeling that it will be hell of a ride... again.😐
BTW: Sorry that the rant is so long, it's the first one I wrote, and had to share it with someone 😀18 -
This has been my semester so far:
Professor: "Please read this material for the next session"
*Next session arrives*
Professor: "Now I will repeat everything you've just read with no additional content"
I feel like this is a waste of my fucking time. I always read the material, because I enjoy the topics we're taught. But this is getting ridiculous... I have to endure it to get my master's degree though :/10 -
Int main()
{
cout << "Hello Devrant!";
return 0;
}
My computer professor has told us our future grades depend on who ever can beat him at soul caliber 6 when it comes out.
Are all programmers this goofy?2 -
When your CS professor doesn't have a single IDE or text editor in their dock/taskbar you really start to doubt their ability to program.11
-
Circa spring of last year, Computer Science 1
The guy sitting next to me asked me a clarifying question about what our professor was mumbling and scribbling illegibly on the board.
I start to respond, only for the professor to YELL at me in front of the class for helping him, saying that programming was a personal affair and that I should be minding myself.
He even yelled at me for helping someone that is "too stupid help themselves" and that I shouldn't worry if the person next to me doesn't get it.
I felt bad, the kid next to me felt bad, and I avoided a semester of computer science just to not have him again.2 -
Our Professor gave us a predefined Datebase with access methods. The whole database is full of
value == 0 ? false : true
How can this guy teach programming languages when he can't apply a simple != operand6 -
After talk to the professor I'm working for
Professor: well, take a break.
Me: take a break? I have to report to you next week during spring break and you just released an assignment.
Professor: well but you have three weeks for the assignment.
Me: inside: but you said start early on the assignment
Professor: take a break3 -
>Advanced code optimization class
>Professor : Your midterm exam will be written on paper....with no code.
>Me: ?????????????3 -
Professor: "I've been using java for many, many years and know close to everything."
Student: "How do I compile my code on the unix server?"
Professor: "uhh.... I don't know."
Let's start hiring people who actually know what they're doing.1 -
Today I gave my Network assessment (code) on an A4 sheet as told by the professor. He will later type the code and check if runs or not and award marks !!
ಠ▃ಠ 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Where is my stress ball?4 -
The best CS professor is the one that I introduced devRant to. He liked it so much, that he is now doing a study about it with one of my friends.3
-
I never went to my college professor classroom when he said:-
“Java and JavaScript are just similar but with different spelling”
RIP me😶4 -
Me: Ahh great I almost finished the university project. One week until deadline. No Problem.
Professor: Oh Please implement this, this and this feature too. Its a little bit tricky but possible.
Can't this guy hand out all the requirements at the start of the semester ???
4 -
My professor gave us an individual and group project at the same time. And each sub part of each project was due with 3 days in between3
-
So for almost all of my c++ assignments I've recieved various emails from the instructor about things like "incorrect header guard" and "library inclusions out of order".
The first being that I didn't include the namespace inside of the guard (I did "FILENAME_H" instead of "NAMESPACE_FILENAME_H")
The second is that I accidentally included header files from my project before any of the standard libraries. This one wasn't even intentional, it was caused by vscode when it formatted/prettified the file.
EX:
#include "test.h"
#include <iostream>
In my opinion these seem pretty nitpicky and, especially that first one, appear to be more like naming conventions or best practices than something to deduct marks for.
On the flip side though I did accidentally store a couple functions in the global namespace which I understand isn't particularly safe. I also made a couple one line conditional statements that simply never evaluate to true, but I didn't think this was a huge deal.
I don't normally code in any of the c languages outside of college so I'm not sure how important these are to actually follow. I've apparently been deducted an entire 10 percent off the assignment because of the head guard. I know that every professor has different criteria for deducting marks, but even this seemed rather unnecessary.
What does everyone think?11 -
Because I own http://grnail.co.uk and http://hotrnail.co.uk (which I bought to prevent scammers having access to them), I often get emails about peoples' accounts. I could do a password reset and own these accounts, but of course, I don't.
However, today I started getting passport scans and personal details from Syria...
2 -
Heard this from my professor today-
" Focus on product not on technology"....don't know how true this is.4 -
X86 or X64. Well, from what I understand, there's no fucking X in front of 64. X86 refers to instruction sets for *86 professor architectures, not bits. Am I justified in this? Is "x64" willful mislabeling?4
-
Ahh boy, uni sure is fun...
I missed my comp-sci class last week when we got a project assigned. No big deal, right? We have an online student portal where teachers can post assignments for everyone to see. I'm sure it's in there.
It's not.
Okay. How about the syllabus? Professors are supposed to create a weekly schedule for students to follow, it's probably in there, right?
Nope. Nothing.
Alright... I guess I'll email him. At this point about two classes have passed and I haven't heard anything in class, so I fire off a quick email to the professor asking for the details to be posted to the web portal so I at least have some idea of what I'm doing.
Surprise surprise, I get a response in about an hour.
"I'm not posting anything online. You should have been in class. Talk to a classmate."
*sigh*
So, from what I can gather from my classmates, we have to design a game using python. It might be a quiz, maybe. We have a week.
Are you fucking kidding me? Is it really that hard to take 20 minutes to type up a few requirements so your students at least know what you're grading for? I barely have any idea of what you even want, and from the three people I talked to it wasn't very clear even when he explained it in class. Post your assignments online, asshole!7 -
Just stumbled upon www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/hexspeak and started following all of the links.
Reached a whole new level of procrastinating. Now I have no idea what my professor is talking about.
Good job me😬💥2 -
I just had a professor unironically ask why students are stressed all the time. Education has changed. The insane assessments and workload make a healthy work-life balance impossible. There's no love of learning when the pace is shoved down your throat.7
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I hate it when (Java) programmers produce such clutter just because their OOP 101 professor told them to do so in 2005.
I refactored it using `git rm`.
12 -
Professor: Look to the left of you. Look to the right of you. By end of program, two of the three of you will be Javascript devs.5
-
One of my professors made us submit Hand Written codes. I mean writing, compiling, executing on the machine, and then writing by hand on paper to submit.
It was so irritating.2 -
At Italian lesson: The professor asks me "What is a sentence?" I answer "it's a CharSequence". He looked me very badly
-
Fuck my dumbass online college professor for forcing us to socialize with each other. Decrepit fucking cunt.4
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When your professor invented the subject and you don't understand his lecture so you go online and search for the term and all you found is his slides from other universities when he was a professor over there.4
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Me: Professor could you please see my code i have a doubt about it.
Professor: Wait a second.
In the mean time my HP laptop that was from 2006, and this story happen 2 years ago, overheated and shutdown. Remember that i was coding in it.
Professor: Ok let's see the code.
Me: I can't show the code now since my pc overheated and shutdown, and now i have to wait him to cooldown to turn it off.
Professor: Your laptop remember when i was a kid and we had thoose old TV where we had to wait for it to heat before we could see any image.
Well thanks HP for your old laptops that heated more than my hoven.4 -
My hardware professor from first year at uni
He wasn't the best lecturer (which he openly admitted), but he was always willing to go an extra 10 miles to help you out, including essentially writing up the entire module into a nice document (70 pages long!) so we'd have good notes to revise from -
On IT English lesson:
Professor: Simple question - how do we call all devices inside computer, like HDD, or CPU.
Some random guy: International Devices
*Insert loudest facepalm here*3 -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
I have got 0.99 accuracy and 0.98 f1 score on some text classification task only to realize that I've created TF-IDF vectorizers using the entire corpus (train+test)
Now my professor is furious -_-5 -
Oh fuck
The professor I am currently working under is fucking highly respectable and I fucking didn't know and kept fucking around.
I've to give a presentation today and nothing is ready. I'm fucking scared help me14 -
>be me, a student taking Discrete Math and probability
>Professor really loves hearthstone, gives out a problem set that is hearthstone themed
>Somebody posts the problem on the hearthstone subreddit
>1464 karma
>354 comments
>A few commenters wrote down their answers
>A week later
>9 people get caught cheating.
>Turns out the commenters did the problem wrong. Professor took screenshots of the comments and told the graders to check if the submitted homework matched the picture
3 -
Worst dev experience:
"Learning" vhdl
Best dev experience:
Actually learning because of a new, more competent professor2 -
Lmao I have a class that the professor described as "50 to 60% linux"
Is this karma for liking windows?14 -
According to my university professor a reliable connection(secure connection) and an established connection (which gives ACK) is same......I feel like dropping out5
-
Well this class was useless, btw 2h have passed... WASTED TIME!!! The professor has been fillabustering for 2h
2 -
Java professor just copied his code from a word document into netbeans. I have lost faith in humanity.5
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I kinda hate how I'm forced to learn java swing when the same professor taught javafx last year... (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻4
-
My friend's Client Programming (JavaScript class)'s professor wants their students to use pure JavaScript to make applications that works on IE 6 and up...4
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Our android professor has absolutely no hopes from us. She literally sent one if my classmates this today.😂
4 -
“fixing” your code the night before you hand in your thesis.
that always works the next morning, when you present it to the professor ...2 -
During my university days, we had a basic programming quiz. One of the questions is to "write a program that will determine if a number is even or not".
An annoying seatmate asked me silently if his answer is correct. Then I saw his window:
=========================
> Enter an even number: 10
> The number is even.
=========================
I told him it's correct.
After the test his answer is marked as wrong.
"You told me it's correct!", he said to me.
I approached the professor, and told him that his answer is correct.
"What if I enter 3?", professor said.
I told him, "User Error". -
Took a class on neural nets once upon a time and all the prerequisites had been taught in C/C++ but the professor insisted on teaching in Matlab because they didn't know C/C++.8
-
I ask the professor from my last rant somehing about Spectre and Meltdown and he... hasn't heard of the exposure..4
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One of my cousin started his higher studies in Computer Sciences. He asked me to teach him any web language so I started with JavaScript. After one week, he came to me complaining that according to his C++ professor, JS is a worst programming language. The professor told him not to learn it.
WTH?4 -
We have this marketing class that none of us gives a rat's ass about and it's not related to software engineering in any way, and our professor knew that.
So to make things easier for him and for us, he made the rule that if we do at least 30% right on the test, we'll pass.
If we got a question right, we get 1 point, if we got it wrong 0 points, and if we left it unanswered, a quarter of a point.
That meant that if we didn't do anything on the test, we get 25 % anyway, so we almost pass by doing nothing.
Fucking genius.
I only answered 5-6 questions that I knew were right and left the rest unanswered and passed5 -
Badass scenario:
Professor: writes a loop to sum up first five numbers and asks the output.
Me: 500
Other random student: 15
Prof praises him.
He runs the code.
Output: 500 ( internal server error)
(He had a missing semicolon) 😅6 -
Major rant incoming. Before I start ranting I’ll say that I totally respect my professor’s past. He worked on some really impressive major developments for the military and other companies a long time ago. Was made an engineering fellow at Raytheon for some GPS software he developed (or lead a team on I should say) and ended up dropping fellowship because of his health. But I’m FUCKING sick of it. So fucking fed up with my professor. This class is “Data Structures in C++” and keep in mind that I’ve been programming in C++ for almost 10 years with it being my primary and first language in OOP.
Throughout this entire class, the teacher has been making huge mistakes by saying things that aren’t right or just simply not knowing how to teach such as telling the students that “int& varOne = varTwo” was an address getting put into a variable until I corrected him about it being a reference and he proceeded to skip all reference slides or steps through sorting algorithms that are wrong or he doesn’t remember how to do it and saying, “So then it gets to this part and....it uh....does that and gets this value and so that’s how you do it *doesnt do rest of it and skips slide*”.
First presentation I did on doubly linked lists. I decided to go above and beyond and write my own code that had a menu to add, insert at position n, delete, print, etc for a doubly linked list. When I go to pull out my code he tells me that I didn’t say anything about a doubly linked list’s tail and head nodes each have a pointer pointing to null and so I was getting docked points. I told him I did actually say it and another classmate spoke up and said “Ya” and he cuts off saying, “No you didn’t”. To which I started to say I’ll show you my slides but he cut me off mid sentence and just yelled, “Nope!”. He docked me 20% and gave me a B- because of that. I had 1 slide where I had a bullet point mentioning it and 2 slides with visual models showing that the head node’s previousNode* and the tail node’s nextNode* pointed to null.
Another classmate that’s never coded in his life had screenshots of code from online (literally all his slides were a screenshot of the next part of code until it finished implementing a binary search tree) and literally read the code line by line, “class node, node pointer node, ......for int i equals zero, i is less than tree dot length er length of tree that is, um i plus plus.....”
Professor yelled at him like 4 times about reading directly from slide and not saying what the code does and he would reply with, “Yes sir” and then continue to read again because there was nothing else he could do.
Ya, he got the same grade as me.
Today I had my second and final presentation. I did it on “Separate Chaining”, a hashing collision resolution. This time I said fuck writing my own code, he didn’t give two shits last time when everyone else just screenshot online example code but me so I decided I’d focus on the PowerPoint and amp it up with animations on models I made with the shapes in PowerPoint. Get 2 slides in and he goes,
Prof: Stop! Go back one slide.
Me: Uh alright, *click*
(Slide showing the 3 collision resolutions: Open Addressing, Separate Chaining, and Re-Hashing)
Prof: Aren’t you forgetting something?
Me: ....Not that I know of sir
Prof: I see Open addressing, also called Open Hashing, but where’s Closed Hashing?
Me: I believe that’s what Seperate Chaining is sir
Prof: No
Me: I’m pretty sure it is
*Class nods and agrees*
Prof: Oh never mind, I didn’t see it right
Get another 4 slides in before:
Prof: Stop! Go back one slide
Me: .......alright *click*
(Professor loses train of thought? Doesn’t mention anything about this slide)
Prof: I er....um, I don’t understand why you decided not to mention the other, er, other types of Chaining. I thought you were going to back on that slide with all the squares (model of hash table with animations moving things around to visualize inserting a value with a collision that I spent hours on) but you didn’t.
(I haven’t finished the second half of my presentation yet you fuck! What if I had it there?)
Me: I never saw anything on any other types of Chaining professor
Prof: I’m pretty sure there’s one that I think combines Open Addressing and Separate Chaining
Me: That doesn’t make sense sir. *explanation why* I did a lot of research and I never saw any other.
Prof: There are, you should have included them.
(I check after I finish. Google comes up with no other Chaining collision resolution)
He docks me 20% and gives me a B- AGAIN! Both presentation grades have feedback saying, “MrCush, I won’t go into the issues we discussed but overall not bad”.
Thanks for being so specific on a whole 20% deduction prick! Oh wait, is it because you don’t have specifics?
Bye 3.8 GPA
Is it me or does he have something against me?7 -
my old CS professor disliked us using modern “heavy” languages instead of C for “trivial” tasks. He used to say “don’t whip your python out without a reason” ☝️13
-
Just saw my professor coding in F# and it made me wonder, is F# still relevant/ useful in todays world?
I never saw anyone code in F# until today...6 -
On a programming lab the professor told us to use gedit to write our code because "it's easy to use"
No, thanks
*Installs a few plugins and uses vim instead*
Now *that's* what I call easy 😎3 -
I’m studying at uni remotely at the moment. I’m taking a software engineering class. I love developing software so I was super excited about this course. First assignment is to make a tic tac toe game in python. I finish the assignment super fast within the first hour of our first class.
We end up spending the rest of the fucking semester on this fucking program. No improvements, nothing. Literally just staring at this less than 200 line command line tic tac toe game talking about the same fucking shit every class.
Our fucking final is a presentation about this fucking program. The entire class is going to present the same command line python tic tac toe game
People told me that in the past, this class would find a local client and fulfill a request (making a website, etc)
However, now there’s a new prof teaching this course.
Best way I can describe it, 3 hours of this fucking prof screen sharing a google doc and droning on for 3 hours
I wish I could get the 20+ hours of my life back that this course has taken from me10 -
my professor expects a full copyright documentation as well as pre post return and other conditions on top of every function in our entire project and she gave us a week to do it. Note that this is in rails. Please help me.9
-
Me(the first day fo spring semester): Data Structures and Algorithms shouldn't be too hard of a class! This will be interesting!
Me(a couple days into class): I don't understand anything she's saying and the programming problems are in some pretty rough English...why me?!?2 -
Working for free for a professor at my university. He said it would take just two hours, and it has been 2 months.
Yells at me and keeps pestering me to make some or the other shit changes for his ultrashit client.
Now I ignore him :) -
So I'm required to take an intro Java course at my university, and can't test out...
My professor actually just described constructors as classes, not analogous to, or metaphorically. He said they were classes. All of the students are now confused out of their minds. Should I say something?7 -
Professor to the whole class: Apache tomcat runs on port 80 which is the same port used by skype
Me: (change the port of tomcat to something else, obviously)
Professor: Kill Skype
Me: 😐😐6 -
When the professor tells you that learning Android development does not require you to do some actual Android development..... **facepalm**1
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My IoT professor expects us to, somehow, learn Machine Learning and use that to analyse the data we obtain in the working of our project! How are we supposed to learn ML to implement it's techniques, while simultaneously create a IoT project, learning its own techniques and also handle our other courses in just one semester?!6
-
*Sitting in sql course*
Professor: "So today we are talking about normalization which will make our tables much more efficient and easier to understand."
Me: (In my head) "Sounds useful!"
Professor: "First we will start with UNF or un-normalized form"
*Professor shows example on projector*
Example:
"UNF: Student ( name, sAge, , college_name {COURSEID, cname. descCourse C# }]"
*Frustration begins to take hold as I play where's waldo*1 -
First Year in College.
I have been into computers since 9th Standard. What I meant was I could make music, edit images, play and install games after downloading, hack them(change values) using Cheat Engine, make trainers for myself because why type when you can freeze, format computers using a pendrive (trust me, I saved a lot of money) and then finally, make some presentations and send emails.
Now, College begins. Programming in C language. I don't know what the fuck that means. But they say, it's 'essential'.
Enter Professor. "Okay students, we begin with the course on C Language. how many of you know pointers?".
Me: Wow. Sounds cool. But, I don't know anything.
I couldn't love coding. I think I love to code but at the end of the day, I'm a sick Undergraduate who fell in love with a Bass Guitar and Vocals and wants to code for a living. Heavily interested in changing the world and all that stuff but have no motivation and even if I have, I can't give a fuck about it.
Peers are getting medals everywhere. I'm sitting alone in a room learning C. They said, It was 'essential', but they never told me, 'why'.
Not a rant. IDGAF what you think but I'm a failure looking for ways to make a living.6 -
Why do my fellow computer science majors feel the need to express how intelligent and informed they are to the professor in the middle of class? Why must they be so oblivious to how cringey it is to so blatantly enjoy hearing themselves talk? Participation is one thing, self assertion is another.1
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In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
-
So my Database professor decided that we should design a database with like 4 tables and hundreds of records and we had to write like 100 queries to produce a specific output from the tables we designed. All in less than a week. This is the first time I'm learning about databases, mind you.5
-
!rant
A while ago I ranted about how the programming club in my school decided to start teaching programming with arduino and it was causing the students to drop out because they were finding it hard, well today I went to the club and got there 10 minutes late, yet when I arrived, thinking that they would have started without me, there was only 2 people other than the instructor and assisstant. And the funny thing is that although 90% of the class stopped going to the programming club because they were finding arduino hard, the instructor still doesn't want to teach anything else and is adamant on teaching them arduino.
What a fucktard3 -
When you gotta learn those hard coded values for a practical exam cause your professor doesn't accept other values:)
#feelsEngineeringInIndiaMan3 -
!Rant
TIL my "Computer Systems" professor is very passionate about using Linux servers as opposed to Windows (professionally at least) but still has to teach us how to use both. I think he would fit in nicely here.1 -
Guy: Hey you know computers right
Me: sure
This guy takes his computer apart during class and wants me to see what it wrong with it. I'm like dude what the heck the Professor is teaching! Freaking crazy. -
We have all experienced inheriting a project and crying because of quality of coding. Somehow the project works but you can't explain how.
I guess I will not blame the previous developer. I guess in most cases it's the teacher who teaches that horrible method of coding.
I may be a self taught developer. But I can gladly say that I know how to code. However I can't say the same about my professor. Who makes you add percentage based margins and paddings (CSS) And make a fluid layout calling it responsive.
Fuck you Professor.1 -
My professor for my Intro to Object Oriented Programming class decided that using .cpp files with xcode as a PowerPoint replacement was a fantastic idea.
Each file is a different 'slide', and half of them are empty main functions full of comments.
Help me.1 -
Just finished making an ER diagram for the 5th time now.
It was less painful this time. (Thanks draw.io)
(About the 4th ER diagram - le professor says "It looks like a flow chart, that's not right", but it's clearly not?)
I'll have to submit the draft tomorrow to the professor, I just hope that he green lights it so I could finalize the project report.
I hate making ER diagrams now. -
Taking JAVA I this semester and apparently the professor took out applets from the curriculum for the first time.5
-
Our professor takes points off our code if we use tabs (not much, but still).
But the best part is having "few" spaces is also a problem. Seems like using tabs we be a solution then.
Why?!6 -
I asked our professor for help, because the code that I exactly copied from her lecture wasn't working.
I forgot to erase my trace('wtf'); code that is literally on every function (mouse_over,mouse_down,mouse_out).
Right after she saw the code, she looked at me like and I was like.....
2 -
Saw my previous dev professor in an event, almost 5+ yrs have passed since I last saw her.
We were tied to a team and when she asked me what skills can I contribute I said Web Dev, I swear her face turned sour with disappointment. What's so wrong ?2 -
Trust me this is not a coincident.... And only two people in the whole department know what this monster really did. Thank god i never had a professor like him.
12 -
I hate my AWS professor, he just sucks at explaining the practical part of AWS. How one can make it completely dull, I just don't get - explain almost anything the right way and I am fascinated. I will also say the subject is taught online and I really do not jive well with online teaching outside of self-paced things. He has on one particular occasion given us a homework that he took from an Indian guy online that was impossible to do in our scenario, with AWS Academy student accounts, and we protested by not doing it and calling the professor to the attention of the administration. We'll see how it turns out by the Friday...9
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Today, carrying my dinner to a table in our universities cafeteria, I passed by the table of a professor. He had a book on his table titled "Hacking Handbook". It contains chapters on httrack, ping, port scans and the like (I checked that on Amazon).
The professor drank a coffee, then got up to get some food. His table was directly next to the wall separating the food corner from the tables. He stayed away from his computer for two or three minutes. Both table and computer where totally out of his field of vision during that time. His computer was not locked and Outlook was open.
The professor teaches IT security.5 -
In the Global Blockchain Congress currently taking place in Kolkata, India, 'IT' officials from PWC India and IBM India start their speaks right after a popular cryptography professor from Belgium and a Blockchain entrepreneur from Brazil.
Every word these 'IT officials' uttered showed how shallow and business minded the IT managers and marketers are.7 -
The whole class is approaching me to solve the assignment coding problems, in addition to it our professor is changing the way we code as i insisted him. I don't know if this is the result of my past sleepless nights.
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My computer science professor didn't allowed to sit me in class when I reached just 5 mins late..He always closes the door of the class as soon as he enters..how rude?Give me suggestions what should I do?14
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Girl: "Professor I don't really understand the algorithm. Can you please write it on the board again?"
Professor writes down the alphabet.
Girl: "I don't get it."
We were talking about traversing a Binary search tree in Inorder traversal.2 -
in class.
professor: "this course is much about learning to read documentation and searching the Internet for solutions. "
me at exam: *writing part of code I learnt from stackoverflow*
...professor failed me at the exam for not using what they taught us during the course.. 😕1 -
When a senior developer insists on using `Class.forName("foo.Bar")` instead of `new Bar()`, because she "saw it being used that way by her professor", but doesn't recall the context in which he did that, then you know what "Cargo Cult Programming" is all about.2
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Professor: with rm -r /* you can delete everything on your pc
Me: ou boii lets try it can't be so bad🤪
Prof: pls never try this, when i say everything i mean everything
Me: ou frick what did i do 😱
Note for me: Next time do a backup4 -
Data Structures professor enters class, today's topic being RBTs. He opens slides, forgot to redact the name and university from where he blatantly copied it from. Continues anyways. *Facepalm*6
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Taking a class at University. Professor just gave us the CDF for the midterm scores. I have no idea how to read this.
Too afraid to ask in class!
5 -
When my professor horribly failed to derive an equation in class, a classmate said:
"Public differentiation is slander" -
During my freshman fall semester in college in my intro to Java class, the professor gives us an assignment and says we need to submit it, so I print it out and try to submit the code on paper. Is it my fault he didn't specify how to turn it in?1
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My professor bored to just seeing terminal line of my project cause they can't get it.. so I did this:
http://lookpic.com/O/i2/...
Attached link because image is not uploading1 -
Final exam is coming... And my professor told us that our final would be creating something using the programmimg language that we got. What should I do using C#?
*googles it*
P.S.
The japanese letters in the textbox means "I don't know"
9 -
I once was righting a C project for my professor, and I had a problem that I didn't know the solution, once I copied the script in the main into a function it worked perfectly.
And still have no idea of what happened.1 -
Algorithms class assignment..
"Prove that the merge procedure cannot run in place".
Searching google...
There are multiple merge procedures (though super complicated) that run in place.
What's the use of this class if we can't be practical because we must be theoretical, but we can't mention real theoretical stuff because it's so complicated??
I mean we are being told something that is just wrong..
I really hate this fucking professor. She went to Oxford and now thinks she's the smartest person in the universe.. -
My professor is currently promoting excel spreadsheets with add-ons as a front end for business intelligence.2
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There's a vacant position for an Associate Professor in Games and Entertainment Technology at the university in my home town, if anyone is interested.
I think it'd be good for both the university and the town to see the position filled by a potent person.
https://jobbnorge.no/en/... -
Asked prof for LORs for grad school application. Once he submitted 6 lors, I sent him a chart in email stating what schools are done, what are pending. STUPID MOTHERFUCKER refused to give me any more LORs because he suddenly thinks I've become un-recommendable due to sending him an email. These EGOISTIC BASTARDs will die of hunger if they are to survive in the industry. They are surviving on govt money, MY TAX MONEY, but still refuse to give LORs for absolutely stupid reasons. Does someone know a hitman ? I want to kill this PIECE OF SHIT.7
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In a class right now. The rants are more interesting than what the professor is teaching!
How our professors teach:
Step 1: Open up a PDF of the subject book.
Step 2: Read everything line-by-line.
Step 3: "Refer the internet".
Yeah, because I don't have the book to read the shit you're teaching.1 -
My professor insults me, cuts my term grades and delays my submissions because I didn't do her PhD project that she had asked for.
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So, in my second semester of CS I had a class about OS and the way they work. The professor made us do presentations every two weeks (we were basically giving the class...).
For full points we had to have the presentation, an example (video or pictures), and an activity.
My team was one of the last presentations of the first round (iirc there were 5 rounds). I was in charge of the activity, so I decided to create a program to make it fun (and leaned a new language in the way). Thanks to this the professor gave us extra credit because we were the first team that ever did that.
My classmates decided that it was a good idea to follow my idea and a couple of teams started to code their activities too. At the end of the semester almost every team had a program as their activity...
But the professor didn't gave them extra credit because it wasn't a novelty anymore. :D
In another round, my team got as a topic encryption. By the time I was already a Linux user and I knew a thing or two about encryption, so I decided to do the example in real time showing how to encrypt and decrypt using command line. Once again we received extra credit because of it. :D
At the end of the semester the professor offered me a job as a developer, but I couldn't take it since I moved out of the country the next month :( -
Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit
Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do
And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!2 -
Why do we take tests on paper? No offense professor, but if all I have is a sheet of paper to program on I'm out of a job!3
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Anyone else have or had a computer science professor you wants you to hand in a printed copy of you code? P.S. Only the printed copy nothing else.1
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My professor said that he cold booted the pc.
It took me around a minute to realise that he meant he turned off and switched it back on.1 -
Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
So I got an assignment for literature class to make and present some sort of creative project about transcendentalism. Time suggestion: 2-3 hours of work. 10 hours later, I have a videogame with 0 polish that I can convice the professor is about transcendentalism. I regret nothing.2
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Best debug ever?
Some years ago we had to do a web project as group. It was a cinema like website with backend and front-end.
So in the end we arrived at the presentation and while scrolling the code I found commented out some authentication controls 😅😆 (probably for debug reason lol)
Whatever, meanwhile, while I was talking with the professor two of my mates were whispering... Turns out they found what he mail service wasn't working. And what's best than fix it, push it to the Heroku server and restart all? XD
The professor noticed some little lag in a button and asked "what's happening?"
"oh, nothing we just restarted the server " -
I remember my college days, i had a subject about OOP. Damn, the professor only talked about how to make a f*cking TextBox and Buttons in VB.NET and we finished the course without hearing anything about OOP.2
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I've been programming for quite a while. I know Java and C#, but I decided to pick up another language, C++, so enrolled in a class at my college. My professor is GOD AWFUL. 4 weeks in and WE DIDNT EVEN TOUCH THE #$@&% KEYBOARD. You'd think that we would at least learn inputs or outputs, right? Instead we've been busting ass learning how to format our homework. What a waste of time.
On that note, if there are any good C++ classes on Udemy, and if you've had a good experience I would love your advice since theres many choices to choose from. I'm gonna learn this one way or another, and it seems the latter looks more useful than that person I'm obligated to call "professor".7 -
Just a quick question, does anyone actually use Java servlets? My professor says that it is still in active use, but I can't believe that such an asinine system is still in use besides legacy systems.
Not quite a rant, but it does annoy me to no end.4 -
Why the hell every IT/CS professor teach pattern codes like pyramid, star and many weird kind of designs to do on console? just why? Why don't teach basic implementation Problems which are really going to ask for SDE jobs in most of the companies.8
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So ive been cleaning my room and i found some old notes that i had, it was some lines of code that i thought up when my professor was explaining us the proj. Now my question is how does everyone else take notes of ideas or solution they come up with? even if its just random ideas.3
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In todays lecture my professor told us that our city is planning to do its own cryptocurrency. Why does everyone do stuff just because it's a hype?1
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OOP class, professor finishes a basic example with inheritance (some car/cabriolet/suv idea) and says: I don't know more java, if you have any questions please ask others. The exam was on pen and paper.1
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I just remembered something about a professor from my college that a dynamic website means a Flash-based site. He teaches Networking subjects by the way.1
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I hate that I can't use python everywhere. My professor just told me that I can't just "import essay" 😒
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At uni we had "pleasure" to attend lectures held by some really old professor. First one was total disaster, since he had laptop that should be already taken to the museum. He tried to connect the projector, but I am almost sure that Windows 95 does not support it. Of course he called help, but the other guy was obviously no help. To our suprise professor canceled the lecture and next time he showed up whith brand new laptop with Windows 10. Of course there were troubles with the projector again 😂
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I have this database systems professor who cannot for the life of her teach this class. She goes on random tangents about anything and everything. She asks weird trick questions and gets mad when we don't get them right. She is just very unorganized in general. Her lectures just feel like one long run on sentence. So I guess to make a long story short, anybody have any good resources when it comes to learning about databases?8
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So, our lab professor in university for data structures was evaluating my friend's group assignment next to me and my colleague.
Professor: So, what does this method do?
Friend: I feel it would be best to explain our structure first and then how our methods work.
P: No, no. It's okay, I'm seeing it here in my laptop. *Looking at their report which included nothing about the structure of the assignment since she asked specifically only to place the methods and their complexity analysis due to not having time to look and evaluate a full report for each group*
F: Okay, *proceeds to explain*.
P: Okay, and why is your code commented?
F: Because it's good practice and we learned in subject x last semester.
P: Impossible! I teach that subject and I did not teach that in my classes.
F: Okay, but our professor did.
P: *Says nothing*.
They got a 3.25/5 as a grade for it and got really pissed off. I mean, they spent a lot of time making the assignment's structure perfect, optimizing their code and the professor did not care for the structure, just the methods, on the data structures subject.
FYI, they are workaholic, dedicate a lot of time improving their skills and their normal grades are usually >= 4.25.2 -
First day of intro to oop class, have to use eclipse, change theme to dark and make console parallel to editor.
Professor comes by and asked if it was eclipse... Yes?
Everyone is looking at my monitor like I'm a fucking magician.
Y'all basic af!2 -
Dumb professor (fortunately just the one that "teaches" us TPSIT), dumb classmates, and procrastination.
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My Android professor: "Let's target Android 2.1. What is that compat library Android Studio included? Nah, let's remove it." He's on par with the latest features for sure!7
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Professor: surprise, now you are the member of the laboratory.
Me: what!?
That's what I start coding, and love it! -
Just corrupted all assignment files so that I could send them on time. I'm curious how the professor will react to this.2
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That moment when you in Computer Security Management and the Professor shows you the different between
Alt+ Tab and Windows + Tab.
Professor: did you guys know about these shortcuts?
Me: of course how else do I code, write a post and check one on Stack Overflow, Google help on a code, check my work email for the boss response, and see how the codes runs on a browser? -
Math for Computer Science Majors professor is going on and on about calculating probability as if I never heard of the topic before. I took probability theory last semester!! I am so not interested in staying on Zoom with my camera on :(1
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Started with qbasic when really young, by moding the tower game. Later got into a programming course where i picked php & Java, and lately got Python and golang from professor Google
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Since I have learned Java I was taught that Java only passes by value. But my Uni Professor discusses that Java is passed by reference for object and string. I am really confused right now and need some advice.15
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Just experienced the other side of "but it works on my machine"
Had problems with some code, stopped by professor office asking for help, downloaded the .sh from our git and it magically works -
Just found out a professor of mine "secures" each student's personal grades by appending a string made up of four random lowercase letters + four random digits (i.e. abcd1234) to the end of a URL.
🙃2 -
I once asked my professor how to implement the twisting feature to open a camera (available in the motorola phones)...he laughed and said 'is it a feature or a bug' . ...and frankly speaking it made think
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Around 14 hours. I was working on a very difficult (at the time, this was my intro level course) c++ project my professor assigned. No one could finish it despite the many hours we put in.2
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So my professor wants me to develop a code to implement an LFSR in Python.
Ranters, tell me something that LFSR can possibly motivate me about it all3 -
I wanted to build a platform for student who wants to do research and are having hard time finding a good professor within university or from outside, so naturally I started asking professor I knew and this is what I get:
Normally they will only hire students from within university unless student himself has funding, and even with that hiring students from outside is a lot of procedures.
And no, such platform probably won’t be that useful as they get a lot of emails asking about research.
Startup idea instantly killed.7 -
Really appreciated the first professor of front end developement. He was very helpful and his teaching always very detailed. Always looked forward to his class. Heard he is working for the army intelligence now. Definitely gonna buy him a beer if I see him again, I owe him that much.
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Professor who never stood up from her chair during any of our lectures and read directly from her powerpoint. When it came to projects, she would deduct points because there was something we didn't implement BUT it wasn't in the specifications or in her instructions.
We did not enjoy or learn from her. -
Julia sucks!
It has similar syntax to Python and it's messing with my Python's knowledge.
Thanks to my Image processing subject's professor who preferred Julia over Python, because it's faster! and then he uses a package called Pluto (similar to Jupyter) which makes running Julia code super frustrating.1 -
Ahh yes. Thank you professor for assigning me a research topic on a framework that hasn’t been updated since 2016. I’m sure it will work perfectly fine. (It doesn’t)1
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Funny argument in class today and was curious what you lot thought, cuz Im honestly not sure who was right. student argued false. professor said true.
Question:
(True or False): A preemptive kernel is safe from race conditions on kernel data structures.11 -
I think that one day I'm going to regret leaving the uni's programming assignments till the last few days before the deadline.
On the other hand, the professor told us that using // in C for comments is bad practice, so I don't really care...1 -
my professor is showing the fast inverse square root video in class, which he does every fucking semester. does it have anything to do with the class? no.
it's a cool video, but come on, half the people here have already dropped this class once or twice, change the script a bit7 -
My coworker and I were supposed to direct a senior project for a local university. Somehow, the professor did not get our project submissions. No senior project this semester 😞
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The professor that made us use ada. This course was in 2018. Not useful to real world and also hard af. Was a great professor good at teaching and a great guy - just the course was hard as fuck and if you were struggling it was hard to find resources.
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