When your boss learns how to use StackOverflow

Talking to girls is like interfacing with an undocumented, half-implemented API sometimes..

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

How to vertically center in css..

QA anyone?

I usually prefer the single slit design for pen testing personally

I just wanted some water :(

Please...

"I need this bug fixed in half an hour!"

Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.

<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->

Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.

Nothing like trying to get an O(nlogn) efficiency on sock pairing.

Priceless 😂😂😂

When you come home from a day of programing

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

Ancient town Asus

Doesnt everyone love toolbars?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Times have changed fast..

Credit: https://reddit.com/r/...

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

When you put it that way...

Sounds true for me !

the beauty of learning to code.. wait, what's that say again?

Why is iOS debugging so fucking useless? Instead of having a normal stack trace which takes you to the line of code that went wrong it just takes you to the bootstrap line in AppDelegate with a random code and basically says "Fuck you, figure it out yourself". Their stack traces are just as useless. IS THIS WHAT SOME PEOPLE CALL THE PREMIERE DEVELOPMENT EXPERIENCE, GODDAMNIT? at least Swift is nice tho, unlike Objective-C

recursion

when I was 17 (13 years ago) I was doing my A-Levels in computers and we had to build a booking system using excel. that's when I discovered VBA, I learnt a lot and it made the project so much easier to do and with that I wrote my first calendar which was 365 lines of code. one line for each day of the year. it wasn't until I completed the project and going over some of the code it hit me, I turned 365 lines into 4! I was so pleased with myself. one of my best moments of programming.

When I was 7-8 i was introduced to programming on a BBC Micro. You could code on it with the BASIC language directly. I found a book about coding BASIC, read it over and over like a holy text, and coded pointless password programs and maze games. From the moment I started, I knew that is what I was going to do when I was older.

Schrödinger's

Just had a customer complain that the website didn't work in Microsoft Edge. After a WordPress update and slight CSS correction everything was fine. Then backend got a hold of us kindly asking "What the effervescent F*** is going on with that website"

Apparently it loads half a gig of data from our servers with each visit, we made the website and host it but we did not cause this. Further inspection shows that it's all images.

Me and the youngest (and possibly brightest) guy in the bunch view the PHP to try and control the amount of posts loading when visiting the start page as a means of controlling this issue.

We soon reached a conclusion we didn't expect, everything was in one post..........

Stupid users gonna be stupid.

Not sure if it has been here, but the height of SO: