Joined devRant on 6/21/2018
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I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.
I just want to write fucking code.3
Next time I have to negotiate a contract I'm gonna ask for x hourly but 2x for meetings
Today I remembered why I don’t “wing” things.
Anyway, here’s my cat in a cardboard tank.
Fuck, the voucher I want to redeem failed and it is not usable again. And now I don't know what DB error might have happened 🤔5
[Two collegues A and B are working on a complex regex together]
A: What does this fucker want?
A: Some dumb Client
A: [accepting call] you know regex?
A: Because thats what we working on for half an hour
B: What did he say?
A: He hung up
B: Perfect. So lets go on.6
Frequently used answers :)
UI developer - I think API is not working
Backend developer - Front end is not sending the request correctly
Tester - Testing! Testing!
UI/UX - As per android/ios standards...
QA - Let me check one more time
PM - Let us have another meeting and get on the same page
Dev-Ops - It's very complicated you know
CTO - We're working on a next-gen solution
Founder - Let us build something that no one has built, something similar to what google...facebook...
Cridits: My EX-CPO5
The number of times I've had to say "....computers....." because of confused looks I got after saying IT is pretty disappointing.9
Me: Can you lift an elephant with one hand?
Bing: You really can't because even the strongest human cannot lift an elephant that has one hand.
Yahoo: Elephant FC vs Oklahoma City - today 15:00GMT.
Baidu: 你不能 你不能 that is how you can.
Yandex.ru: Americans killed the Elephant whilst pointing hands at Russian spy.
DuckDuckGo: Elephants have privacies too and lifting one can bridge DDG policies.
Ask.com: Lifting an elephant is a Metaphor.
AOL.com: No result yet. Subscribe to our Newsletter to get latest updates.
Google: (google.com) wants to access your location.7
Yet another meeting that I was forced to join where my presence was absolutely not required9
So a web developer is driving home from work when his girlfriend phones him. She says her sister can't log into Windows anymore even though she didn't change her password!
The sheer fucking amount of popups on websites that ask this really pisses me off.
"Do you want out pathetic, groveling push notifications"
Option 1: Fuck yes, spam me right now!
Option 2: Later, because who can resist our spam
I propose a chrome addon that replaces the second option on every notification request popup, which is usually "Later" with "Fuck off"5
Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.
- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...
- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....
I know my username is ironic :P13
Surprised noone has yet preached the amazingness of this font here.