"I need this bug fixed in half an hour!"

Credit imgur.

My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

Pushed a month of work to production and left the office. Cool guys don't look at explosions

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

WINDOWS USER VS LINUX USER

A Windows User's view on computing

I have the blue screen of death again
You'll never hear me say
I'm happy with my computer
At the end of the day
my operating system
dictates
my choice
in programs i use and the features I've
i have complete control
over nothing
i lose sleep
worrying about getting viruses
and
microsoft patching vulnerabilities in time
i don't have time to think about
some thing better.
i've learned
to live with old software issues
There's no way i'm planning
to change, and
its worth it to me

A Linux User's view on computing
(read this bottom to top)

If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass

His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!

Walking with gf.

diadev: hey that desk would be perfect for someone with one monitor!
GF: What kind of fuckin normie has one monitor?

I'm keeping this one 😂

Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)

Boss walks by my desk. Stops by the printer when coming back and brings me this.

My favorite xkcd

Gary's a prick

This is a view from a rooftop in NYC that I sometimes get the pleasure to work from. I really like the view and it’s pretty quiet usually. It also overlooks one of my favorite buildings, the Empire State Building.

I’m looking forward to seeing everyone else’s desks, setups, and remote/outdoor workspaces.

We’ll be featuring them on our recently launched devRant Instagram account, devDesks (https://www.instagram.com/devdesks).

Programmers: Always use descriptive variable names.

Mathematicians: Single letter variable names always, ideally from obscure/dead alphabets.

Src: Twitter

Person: I want to learn to code neural networks and cool AI stuff.

Me: Look into Python or Lua.

Person: Those are too hard, I'm going to use HTML instead.

I got out of there as fast as I could. 😅

Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.

Who's there?

Fibonacci.

A: So are you the programmers of this software?

B: Yeah, I did the front end

A: Oh it looks so fantastic! It is simple, yet beautiful and responsive. Truly great design, you are so talented!

C: I did the back end...

A: Oh, you mean the server stuff?

C: Yeah

A: Niceeee

"Oh you're a developer?"

"Yes."

"Hey I've got this awesome app idea. You build it all and you can get 10% of the profits?"

devRant. Where everyone is pissed but everyone is cool with each other.

Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-

Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...