You always amaze me Windows!

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

Push your commits before anyone else, so you don't have to resolve any merge conflicts 😈

A person who left university as a good developer, probably entered university as a good developer.

When your professor pronounces Git as "jit", you know it's time you drop out.

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!

One of my client (who's also a coder) asked me today

"Are you on devRant?"

Me: 😶 What's that? 😓

Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG

Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP

this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT

next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)

Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...

#iPhone7

I was really confused for a second as to why Redhat sent me a pizza...

No words...

That's a good plan🤣

When you find a problem you're trying to solve on stack overflow and it has no answers

Devrant mentioned in our Databases course! 😱

Heartless

We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *

Asked a girl what would she like to eat and gave her two options. She answered "Ok. Let's go".

Error cannot find parameters in line 2

Just called Asus for a problem with my router, went to send them my systemlog.txt for analysis

"Oh we don't have an email you can send that to"

Me: "(me calling bullshit) let me talk to the tech team.."

*Get transferred*

"Hello this is the supervisor"

Me: "fml"

"Ya we don't have an email you can send that to, but we can use a different departments verification services to get a file from you, has to be a picture though"

Me: "What? I got a .txt file here, I just want to get it to you, does it really have to be a picture?"

"Has to be a picture or a PDF, we can't take txt files"

Me: "fkin.. srsly? Fine"

I can't believe Asus's system srsly. I think it's for virus protection, but viruses can be embedded in both picture formats and PDF, but not in txt. So wtf is going on lol