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Search - "clean after yourself"
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If programming languages had honest slogans, what would they be?
C: If you want a horse, make sure you feed it, clean it and secure it yourself. No warranties.
C++: If you want a horse, you need to buy a circus along with it.
Java: Before you buy a horse - buy a piece of land, build a house in that land, build a barn beside the house & if you are not bankrupt yet, buy the horse and then put the horse in the barn.
C#: You don’t want a horse, but Microsoft wants you to have a horse. Now it’s up to you if you want Microsoft or not.
Swift: Don’t buy an overpriced Unicorn if all you wanted was a horse.
JavaScript: If you want to buy a horse & confidently ride it, make sure you read a book named "You don't know horse".
PHP: After enough optimization, your horse can compete the top most horses in the world; but deep down, you'll always know it's an ass.
Hack: Let's face it, even if you take the ass from the ass lovers and give them back a horse in exchange, not many will ride it.
Ruby: If you want a horse, make sure you ride it on top of rail roads, even if the horse can't run fast on rails.
Python: Don't ride your horse and eat your sandwich on the same line, until you indent it on the next line.
Bash: Your horse may shit everywhere, but at least it gets the job done.
R: You are the horse. R will ride you.
Got this from Quora.
https://quora.com/If-programming-la...7 -
➡️You Are Not A Software Developer⬅️
When I became a developer, I thought that my job is to write software. When my customer had a problem, I was ready to write software that solves that problem. I was taught to write software.
But what customers need is not software. They need a solution to their problem. Your job is to find the most cost-effective solution, what software often is not.
According to the universal law of software development, more code leads to more bugs:
e = mc²
Or
errors = (more code)²
The number of bugs grows with the amount of code. You have to prioritize, reproduce and fix bugs.
The more code you write, the more your team and the team after it has to maintain. Even if you split the system into micro services, the complexity remains.
Writing well-tested, clean code takes a lot of time. When you’re writing code, other important work is idle. The work that prevents your company from becoming rich.
A for-profit company wants to make money and reduce expenses. Then the company hires you to solve problems that prevent it from becoming rich. Confused by your job title, you take their money and turn it into expensive software.
But business has nothing to do about software. Even software business is not about software. Business is about making money.
Your job is to understand how the company is making money, help make more money and reduce expenses. Once you know that, you will become the most valuable asset in the company.
Stop viewing yourself as a software developer. You are a money maker.
Think about how to save and make money for your customers.
Find the most annoying problem and fix it:
▶️Is adding a new feature too costly? Solve the problem manually.
▶️Is testing slow? Become a tester.
▶️Is hiring not going well? Speak at a meetup and advertise your company.
▶️Is your team not productive enough? Bring them coffee.
Your job title doesn’t matter. Ego doesn’t matter either.
Titles and roles are distracting us from what matters to our customers – money.💸
You are a money maker. Thinking as a money maker can help choose the next skill for development. For example:
Serverless: pay only for resources you consume, spend less time on capacity planning = 💰
Machine Learning: get rid of manual decision-making = 💰
TDD: shorter feedback cycle, fewer bugs = 💰
Soft Skills: inspire teammates, so they are more productive and happy = 💰
If you don’t know what to learn next — answer a simple question:
What skills can help my company make more money and reduce expenses?
Very unlikely it’s another web framework written in JavaScript.
Article by Eduards Sizovs
Sizovs.net17 -
that one legendary guy who cranks out code and builds insane features. PMs (product management) love him because he builds features in several months which 10 devs together couldn't have built in the same time (so they say), features that are loved by customers as well, become their new standard and that have saved our company's asses in the past.
features are really awesome, performant and have very few bugs (compared to the rest of the software シ).
but this guy seems to live for this job. he also works at weekends, at unholy times of day and night and even in his holidays (he doesn't care that this is actually illegal, in terms of employee's rights, and he wouldn't listen to his superiors, no matter what they tell him)
so far, so good - except that he will probably die of some stroke or something very soon due to this lifestyle.
but it must be an absolute pain in the ass to work with him, as long as you're a developer (or his superior).
he lives in his own world and within the software, his features are also his own world. since the different modules interact with each other, sometimes you would be assigned a bug that might have its cause in some interaction of your and his module. talk with him about it? forget it. he wouldn't answer most devs who contacted him for some reason. ever. fix it in his module yourself? might happen that he just reverts your changes to his module without comments. so some bugs would lie on your desk forever because theoretically you know what would need to be done but if you cannot reach out into HIS world, there's no way to fix it. also - his code might be good in terms of performance and low bug numbers. but it seems to be hard to work on that code for everybody else but him.
furthermore, he is said to be really rude. he is no team player, but works on a software that is worked on by a huge team.
PMs think he's a genius, just a great dev, but they don't understand that other devs need to clean up the mess behind or around him.
everyone who's been his superior so far recommends to get him fired, but the company wouldn't fire him because they don't want to lose his talent. he can just do what he wants. he can even refuse to work on certain things because he thinks they are boring and he is not interested in them. devs seem to hate him, but my boss said, they are probably also a bit jealous because of his talent. i think, he's not wrong. :)
i haven't actually met him so far or was actually "forced" to deal with him, but i've never heard so many contrastive things about one person, the reputation of his, let's say vibrant personality really hurries ahead. he must be a real genius, after all i've heard so far, like he lives in the code. i must say i'm a bit curious but also somewhat afraid of meeting him one day.
do you also have such a guy at your company?11 -
Microsoft.. MicrobrainedSoftware-devs.
SamsungCloud died out and was replaced with OneDrive automatically. Alright, my data is still backed up, so.. No biggie.
OneDrive was syncing my pics and videos automatically, even though media sync is disabled. Umm.. Okay?
My phone is constantly very low on free space [idk why], so I decided to clean up some old photos. I'm removing and removing, until I reach photos with a cloud and an arrow replacing their content. Hundreds of spoiled pics that do not open. And in info their path is /OneDrive/*. Umm.. Wat?
Open mydrive website, log in only to be greeted by a fully loaded onedrive webapp covered by a non-removable modal 'we have an app for this. Use app'. Wtf?? Just let me disable the modal and use the webapp!! Wtf!
Open onedrive app. I'm greeted with a red warning that I've exceeded my storage limits and my account is frozen and my files will be deleted in June '23. WTF????? A heads-up would be nice!!
The popup lists my options:
1. Unfreeze the account for 30days, but I can only do that once. If after 30d I'm still exceeding my limits, my acc will be again frozen w/o an easy way to unfreeze.
2. Once unfrozen [takes ~24hrs], I can either
2.1 pay 7€ to M$ monthly for 1TB of storage in onedrive
2.2 remove my files from OD and my phone [since even if media sync is disabled, OD app is still syncing my media]
what the actual fuck?!?!? M$ is now keeping hundreds of my photos on my phone hostage.
Go F* yourself!11 -
After you brainstorm on a white board, take a photo, and clean up after yourself.
Coworkers were complaining about dried white board marker.
I told them to use the hand sanitizer from the bathroom, it will clean off all marks.
Now you know too.2 -
Just a little poll for you guys :)
Do you comment your code during the development or when it's done?
Do you keep track of the documentation during the development or after?
Do you use Git only for source control or also to work from multiple places and keep the code up to date?
Do you sh*tcode on purpose (or don't make any effort to clean it) when it's not for yourself, or not for something you value much?
If you have any other strange habit, feel free to mention it :)16 -
Somebody ranted about his teacher showing windows presentation and teaching nothing. I wanted to comment that post but i have enough material to make the whole rant out of it.
Well at least you have those presentations! In my school we have 2 IT classrooms one with win xp, 1ghz cpu, 0,5gb ram computers and one with win vista, 2 core 2ghz cpu and 2gb of ram PCs.
Guess what room our teacher is using... of course the worse one! The second one is fine, few years ago another theacher had been using it!
I tried to convince him to change rooms but he is coming up with silly exciuses! (like "server is not working here!", well i fixed it with my friend but why are you even talking about it when you are not using yours in old class!)
PS. That server is useless anyway, every pc is connected to router that is connected to internet so supervisor pc is not mandatory, only acces restriction is enforced by win accounts.
I heard from students from my class (that picked that optional IT course) (i'm in high school) that gimp is not working because pc's are so bad!
Sometimes even notepad frezzes.🤔
Not only class is shite but teacher clearly has no idea what is he doing. (in order to pass the final from IT you need to learn simple C++, up to simple foo objects) and of course he isn not even talking about that! On one lesson about sorting algorithms he gave everybody 10 small pieces of paper with numbers on them and told everybody to sort them manualy, because he didnt know how to do it himself! So there is no doubt they wont be able code it.
I need to mention that i volontered to "clean, fix" that classroom (in order to convince teacher to move). And in that class i saw programms written in c++ on every computer! That means somebody was teaching propely before! 😣
I feel sorry for those guys, they are just waisting time. I would fall for it as well but i decided i can learn coding in home ;).
Well, results are shocking, after 1 month of coding i learned C# and i can basicly make any algorithm i ever wish. I learned about computer operation so well that i can nearly teach computer science. (i helped my friend in usa that is a electronic student with that and i'm very proud of it 😁) and it class still can't even use all 3 loops correctly... 😥 Ok i must admit i have been coding for a looooong while so i had time to learn basic c,c++ and pc operations before, but point still stands.
Why the hell are you wasting life of those studends? Why are you giving them a choice to learn coding WHEN YOU CANT EVEN USE PC YOURSELF?! (that it course is optional so you can apply if you want so)
I dont regret not bothering about it.1 -
Texas jokes time!
M16: Jams when dirty
AK-47: Works when dirty
Mosin-Nagant: Wasn’t clean since issuing in 1932
M16: You’d rather die than break your expensive rifle in melee
AK-47: Your rifle works good in melee
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle is a spear that can shoot
M16: 40mm grenade launcher is heavy, but is accurate up to 200 meters
AK-47: If something goes wrong, you can throw a 40mm grenade into the window yourself
Mosin-Nagant: Throwing grenades into windows? Shoot through the wall, your cartridge penetrates one meter of brick
M16: You can use a suppressor, a small bullet doesn’t make much noise
AK-47: You can use a suppressor, but it’s better to spray and pray
Mosin-Nagant: You don’t need a suppressor — everyone will go deaf after the first shot anyway
M16: More complex than some aeroplanes
AK-47: Used by countries that have no money for aeroplanes
Mosin-Nagant: Was used to shoot down aeroplanes
A favourite drink of the user:
M16: Whiskey
AK-47: Vodka
Mosin-Nagant: brake fluid
M16: Makes a small hole, obeys the Geneva convention
AK-47: Makes a large hole, doesn’t obey the Geneva convention
Mosin-Nagant: One of the reasons for the creation of the Geneva convention
M16: Perfect for shooting squirrels
AK-47: Perfect for shooting enemies of the State
Mosin-Nagant: Perfect for shooting armoured personnel carriers7 -
Back in NAM those who left the pointers without cleaning them we called them DESERTERS and made them sleep with the dogs.
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Lead: alright people what are your ideas and updates for this page refactor we've been talking about.
dipshit: Alright guys, I've done a quick awesome prototype that I really like...
dipshit: *starts to speak super fast* (I catch words about function composition, clean, no side effects, speed, efficiency. Basically a string of brogrammer buzzwords.)
me: what did you mean by that? How does it work?
dipshit: *basically repeats the same drivel*
me: uh..ok I don't quite understand
everyone else looks confused.
me: ok since you've done a prototype, we take a look at it later
*** After meeting, looks at code ***
It was COMPLETE GARBAGE. He used 1,500+ lines of js in 17 files to make what was essentially a simple 2 item list.
We were looking at a way to overhaul the entire page, he "refactored" maybe perhaps 5% of the page.
There was absolutely nothing clean / functional / composable about this monstrosity. It was as if he read chapter 1 of a book on functional programming and decided he understood enough to call himself an expert.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HIRED?
HOW DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEVELOPER?
YOU ARE SELF TAUGHT, DISS PEOPLE WITH FORMAL CS/CE DEGREES AND YOU PRODUCE TRASH CODE?!
ARE YOU SO RETARDED THAT YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE HOW STUPID YOU ARE?
Please die in a fire, along with your jock attitude and unprofessionalism. Take this worthless junk unfit to be called code with you.3 -
Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.
TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.
SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.
More in the comments!11 -
Before I started working, I used to feel like I depended on documentation and the internet a little too much owing to ultra crappy long term memory. After spending some time at my internship going through code written by "professional developers" several years senior to me and trying to write unit tests for it (surprise: the code was in production without having underwent any sort of testing), I feel like the amount of time I spend online reading usage recommendations, alternates for optimisation, best practices for writing clean and descriptive code and all that is a lot more rewarding. Some bad things help you feel good about yourself.
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The most fun I ever had coding was when I first discovered Kotlin. After using java for most of the time I've been programming, Kotlin felt like a godsend. When working on converting one of my old projects, I was amazed by the reduced verbosity and just how clean it felt.
To any devs that still use java at all, do yourself a favour and take a look at Kotlin (kotlinlang.org)1 -
I've almost had enough of Atlassian. So, our customers want us to integrate Jira / Confluence support into our software.
I initially thought it would be a great addition to the other providers we support, so I explored it further.
After trying Confluence – and already knowing first-hand how horrendous Jira is from a previous role – I left in absolute disgust at not only how horrendously slow, buggy and overengineered Confluence is (just like Jira), but how horrendously FUCKING SHIT their developer / API documentation is. I suspended the project at this point. No fucking way was I allowing time to be sucked away because another company can't get their shit together.
Customers kept asking for integration support, so I authorized the team to revisit Jira integration support a few weeks ago. Nothing has changed. Documentation is as shit as before, software as slow as before and the platform as overengineered as before. No surprises.
Here's the problem:
1. You can't set multiple auth callback URLs so you can actually test your implementation.
2. You can't revoke access tokens programmatically. Yes, really.
3. You need to submit a ticket to get your integration approved for use by others, because automating this process is clearly fucking impossible. And then they ask questions you've already answered before. They don't review your app or your integration beyond the information you provided in the ticket.
4. Navigating the Atlassian developer documentation is like trying to navigate through a never-ending fucking minefield. Go on, try it: https://developer.atlassian.com/clo.... Don't get too lost.
I was so very FUCKING CLOSE to terminating this integration project permanently.
Atlassian, your software is an absolute fucking joke. I have no idea why our customers use your platform. It's clearly a sign of decades of lazy and incompetent engineering at work, trying to do too much and losing yourself in the process.
You can't even get the fundamental shit right. It's not hard to write clean, maintainable code and simple, clear and concise API documentation.1 -
That moment when you realize you have to deal with git now because you have a habit of “changes now, git later” and also like commits to be clean and free of notes you leave to yourself that aren’t meant to be there after the feature is done
Fuckkkdkdkdkfkkf -
When your code works then you have this inclination to add an extra feature and after adding it ,it works after catching a few bugs but then .... you feel so smug with yourself you add another feature and that stuff ups all YOUR CODE !!!and if you haven't saved a copy of the program before editing y0ur program so the eaaiset option you have I to use CTRL -Z and if you have been altering your code a lot the undo action only goes back a few alterations and hasn't undone your extra feature then you have to manually find the feature and clean it from your code taking longer then creating the program as a whole
=======
The undo action needs to save more alterations of the code 😑1 -
Win7 Task manager: 7 slack.exe processes running after shutting down app. Force closes 1 process, revives itself. 16 chrome.exe processes running after closing chrome. 8 node.exe running when no more node apps running.. Jesus christ, clean up after yourself Windows.. No wonder virtual box complained about not enough memory to run Windows 10 image because I have to test my web app on Edge browser..1