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Why the fuck did I set up GitHub and all the deploy scripts if your just going to fucking ignore it and edit directly on the server?!?
"Oh, I ran out of time"
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SIMPLE GIT IS?!?!?
"git add file
git commit -m 'Queef farm'"
AND YOU'RE DONE!12 -
How do you politely tell someone that constant conversations about progress slow down progress?
Not only do I have to stop for 30mins to explain what things I've changed, but now I have to rant about it on devrant.3 -
Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.
13 -
*Makes joke in dev community*
RandomGuy: "well actually, that's not correct. The truth is blah blah blah"
Can you please just for like 5mins enjoy the joke and have a laugh?
All you're doing is stroking your own ego.3 -
As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.
But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.
Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!
13 -
Noob: I hate $foo language! It sucks!
Me: Have you used the language before?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: have you tried using it?
Noob: no because it sucks!
Me: so how do you know it sucks?
Noob: because all my friends that use $baaa says it sucks.
Me: ........ I see your point... sheep 🐑8 -
IE can go fuck itself.
Today, the reason the some JS broke is because it couldn't handle tabs. Works fine in any other browser.
Replace all tabs with spaces and bam, everything works again.
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡7 -
Buttons that constantly move around the page, because of loading content, is the main reason I have trust issues.5
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How can you tell if someone's a node.js coder?
Don't worry they'll tell you.
What do I dislike about node.js?
The fanboys.
Seriously you guys need to chill out. Your language is not the end of all other languages. It isn't going to replace PHP or Python or Ruby. It's not going to be the only thing around in 4 years.
I'm not a fan of JavaScript, I just don't like the language. I don't care about all the advantages and the other bs you're shouting about. If I want that feature I'm sure I can find a way to get it in my language.
Now shoo fly you're bothering me11 -
Helped out a junior today with a minor JS issue he had. Told him, "cool so that should fix it on this page but it may break things elsewhere. Make sure you check it otherwise the client will go into meltdown. "
30mins after they go home. Client emails (All Caps) "WEBSITE BROKEN, URGENT HELP REQUIRED"
😡 you didn't bloody check it did you!
Ffffffffuuuuuuuu3 -
5 more mins on devrant and I'll finish that project.
Starts project, *buzzz buzzz* new devrant notification. Oohh, I'll just check that notif. Okay, while I'm hear, better check some rants to get it out of my system. Just 5 more mins....1 -
Fuuuuck you AWS!!!
If you have a feature called “termination protection” perhaps it should actually prevent an instance from being terminated!
But nooo, you add *one line* of text on a documentation unrelated to ec2 terminations saying that in this particular scenario, it will terminate your instance.
Eat a dick. Eat a bag of dicks. Eat all of the dicks you fucking turd munchers.
Now I have to manually enter a month of invoices from the order emails that were created. 😡2 -
Fuck Microsoft! 😡
I bought the new xBox One S....
Turns out it's not compatible with my home network and you can't set it up without an internet connection.
Ended up using my phone data (2GB used) just so I could do the updates required to watch a 4K movie.
Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait for the new internet connection arriving Monday 😔7 -
Lays down to go to sleep.
*beep* new urgent help request.
Hmm, bet it's something silly, better check anyway......
Whole servers down....
How fun 😔1 -
I have a Yahoo app on my phone for some legacy purposes. I just allowed the storage access permissions when it was asking for it during the installation or something, cause like, who doesn't? I checked my Yahoo Mail on the browser tonight and saw copies of my mobile photos in it! It's through the Attach Icon > Insert animated GIF. WTF? So that's how you can easily get hacked from apps?
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While I sit here working, I find myself confronted by the fact that there is a little willie sitting on a pouf right behind me
4 -
Can we all start using error codes for apis? I'm so sick of doing a reg exp check to see if the word "failed" is in your return message and having to change it every time you feel like updating the language.2
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You know what really boils my piss?
Clients who email in all caps.
"URGENT HELP, CAN'T RECEIVE EMAILS"
Followed by two lines of bitching about how this keeps happening and they'll move elsewhere if it's not fixed asap at 11pm.
WELL GUESS WHAT?
YOU MOVED YOUR EMAILS AWAY ALREADY! -
Clicks "Save" button....
Yes, that was the point of clicking the save button, to discard my changes...
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When someone calls themselves "the webmaster".
My spidey senses are tingling, better make sure there is a recent backup. -
Opens the source code for an app I have to integrate with.
Finds: if($cryptPW == $dbPW)
What the shit?!?!!!!!
Learn to hash! Far out 😢4 -
Am I stupid? Do you know how many hours I've spent filling in forms for tests?
Why did I never think of using a random auto fill extension before now?
And bam, productivity increases dramatically3 -
The world itself is just a big hoax. Spamming with our running commentary of bullcrap masquerading as insight, our social media faking as intimacy.2
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Noooooooooo 😢
What will I do without stack overflow?
....
Oh yeah, *inserts* "cache:"
Crisis averted 😎
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Just spent 1 week following the upgrade tutorial from one framework to the next. Using their upgrade tool and following the documentation.
Finally finish the work, most things are working it just doesn't seem to work quite right. Must have missed something.
After some digging it turns out they completely removed a function that I rely heavily upon. No mention in the upgrade document, no possible work around. Every forum post about it either has no replies or it says "it's a new feature".
Well fuck you.
The whole project is now useless.
Fml 😭4 -
Using a framework's helper function that relies on unrelated libraries which have multiple irrelevant dependencies to do something you could write in three lines of code.
Because it's cleaner and nicer to look at -
Anyone else getting this notification bug? It keeps telling me I have like 63 notifs but when I open it nothing appears as unread?18
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When people "simplify" their code by refactoring a singular line of code into a completely separate function. The purpose of which is to prepend "https://"3
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