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FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me28
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>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.4 -
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR THINKING THAT THE FUCKING SAD FACE IN THE BLUE SCREEN IS APPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS WORSE THAN CLIPPY
WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO MAKE THE ERROR CODE IN SO SMALL PRINT???
YOU OWE ME 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND COUNTING!
NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN UNABLE TO DO MY JOB, I HAVE ALSO NOT BEEN ABLE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION KILLING ALIENS, IF I HAVE TO SPENT ANOTHER DAY FIXING THIS STUPID COMPUTER I WILL SWIM ALL THEY WAY OVER TO AMERICA AND BITCH SLAP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR DEVELOPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!27 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
27 -
My parents recently got divorced and sold their house, so I had to go through all my old stuff and found this beauty! A pair of new bateries and it still work! Fuck Yeah!
13 -
For some fucking reason I hate it when people put 'www.' in front of any domain.
It takes longer to type the fucking thing out! And with short domains like the Dutch site nu.nl... www.nu.nl. fucking REALLY?!
Fuck the www subdomain, because that's all what that cocksucker is, a fucking subdomain.54 -
#1
Fuck it. I obtained a Laravel codebase with 200 routes all handled by "mainController".
😓🔨
There will be rants.21 -
FBI: FUCK!! We just lost our connection to all those civilian routers we were monitoring
FBI IT Department: Did you try turning them off and back on?
FBI:
5 -
Oddly enough, it's comforting to hear other devs mumble "mother fucker" or "what the fuck, you stupid piece of ass" when working on things.
It means I'm not alone and we can all suffer together 🤗3 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
snapchat can piss off.
i sent a LINK. a LINK. in chat and it LOCKED MY ACCOUNT. it wasnt even a bad website. FFS IT WAS MY WEBSITE I MADE A FEW YEARS AGO.
ALL I DID WAS SEND IT IN CHAT.
NOT ONLY THAT, THIS HAPPEND THREE TIMES ALREADY.
FUCK OFF SNAPCHAT.32 -
When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.
When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.
When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.
Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.
What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...9 -
Me: hello IE, you see that div with id?
IE: ...... ..... .... yes.
Me: would you like to set it as absolute and stick to bottom?
IE: ........... i don't know...
Me: but all the other guys like chrome and firefox are doing it.. come on it's not object-fit: cover; just absolute positioning. Please.
IE: ......... I can't!
Me: why the fuck not??
IE: ......because I don't see the id...
Me: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!
IE:...............12 -
All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?
1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key2 -
Whoever thinks that coding is easy.
Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.
One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.
Stupid people.15 -
As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.
But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.
Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!
13 -
I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.8
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FUCK!!! FUCK IT ALL. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY BULLSHT UNDOCUMENTED AND OUTDATED API.
YOUR DATABASE SERVER BACK-END HAS TO BE THE ONE MANAGING THE DISPLAY DATA FOR ITS WEB AND MOBILE CLIENTS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, DAMN IT.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE ALL DAY HARD-CODING ALL YOUR SERVER'S INADEQUACY.
MAKES ME WONDER DO YOU EVER USE DESIGN PATTERNS OR APPLY DESIGN PRINCIPLES? DRY AT LEAST? DON'T FUCKING REPEAT YOURSELF, DAMN IT.
I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.6 -
Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!
I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!
Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?
And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!
For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!
AARGH!19 -
IE can go fuck itself.
Today, the reason the some JS broke is because it couldn't handle tabs. Works fine in any other browser.
Replace all tabs with spaces and bam, everything works again.
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡7 -
Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code
Fuck. This. Shit!
20 -
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.15 -
i hate the phrase "It's working but I don't know why". If you don't know how it works, it means it doesn't work at all and will fuck you up soon.6
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Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.
FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me
S H I T !12 -
Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK21 -
So I pretty much deleted 90% of the project I'm working on and pulled two all nighters to reimplement the features differently because it didn't feel "good enough"... fuck this neverending "I can do better" feeling 😭😭6
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Get this, at college we were told to use PHP7 for development right? All good, PHP7 is awesome and all, so we have to make a big project for college and put it on the school's server... now here's the pickle...
THEIR SERVER RUNS FUCKING PHP5.X
WTF!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DON'T FUCKING TELL US WE SHOULD USE PHP7 AND THEN DON'T SUPPORT PHP7 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK6 -
Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.
Okay I'm done now.16 -
1.
!dev
Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.
2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.
3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.
4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢
5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭24 -
Just updated to the latest insider build for Windows 10.. left PC unattended and came back later and it was ready... no BSODs, no random crashes, no issues, nothing... it just works as expected...
I can hear Linux fanatics screaming after reading this 😂
FUCK all this Windows stereotypes BS going on here15 -
Fuck Firefox's CSS engine! Why is it so fucking buggy?
I needed to position some elements in a circle, so I used Math.cos(Math.PI / 2) to calculate their x positions. So, mathematically speaking, that should return 0, right? Turns out in JS it doesn't (because fuck precision). It actually returns 6.123233995736766e-17 and I was using that in the style, like top: offset + that.
In chrome it was working perfectly, but in Firefox all hell broke loose. All animations stopped working, scripts stopped working, demons were eating people alive.
And I lost hours hunting that down. My fault because I should have tested it immediately on other browsers, but fuck!11 -
Wouldn't it be amazing if Linus Torvalds just say "fuck it, fuck this controversy, fuck the CoC and all the self righteous dumbass people infecting my community!"
And just forks Linux to start a new OS? Would you support him? I bet he would have huge independent support, hell I'm poor and even I'd donate.7 -
I know this is probably gonna be unpopular but whatever; fuck vim, fuck emacs! A text editor should by default take in standard accepted characters and command form the keyboard without being all hipster "I'm so niche and alternative" about it. You are a text editor so let me enter teeeeeexxxxt!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! $£^$%^^$%
5 -
Gitlab's CI/CD, Jenkins, TeamCity, Travis, Bamboo,.....
Fuck it, I'm too lazy to learn them all to pick the best choice for my case.
Meet 'pipeline.bash'
Perfect!
15 -
After fresh windows install: Fuck, now to install everything I need and all the updates over the next few hours
After fresh Mac install: oh god I hope it worked...
After fresh Linux install: sudo apt upgrade and done!14 -
FOR FUCK SAKE APPLE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN THIS WORLD!
Was creating a signed file of the app to upload to their store and while XCode (that bitch!) was working on it, Slack, and Postman crashed!
Do I need to say why or you already knew it is because XCode ate all the RAM -.-7 -
FUCK THE EU!
Ok I said it, what? Someone had too.
Can we all move on now?
Ps: if you made it this far, be sure to ++ for your angers and frustrations over the current articles we all know and hate.5 -
Brought in a meeting a really good idea. One guy out of 9 sayd, that it's stupid and we could not use it.
1 week later the same guy proposes the same idea to the boss and team. Took all the merit and when I confronted him, he denied, that it was first my idea.
Fuck my life...2 -
I did it. I completely broke windows by plugging in my laptop charger.
The colors in this image have not been distorted at all.
Fuck this OS, royally.
10 -
Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.8
-
Why the fucking fuck is it so damn hard for me to draw a fucking curly bracket?!
All my sad attempts at it look like a 3 that was exposed to lethal amounts of nuclear radiation3 -
I was just testing the Postfix server on one of my mailers, for the hell of it.. EHLO, STARTTLS, all good. Then comes the mail submission part.
MAIL FROM test@nixmagic.com
Connection closed by foreign host.
Right after I say mail from, it just closes the connection! Is it just me or does this feel like the server says to me "fuck off"? :')19 -
I work with junior developers, guiding them and teaching them on a daily basis.. my biggest pet peeve?
When they finish typing code and without testing it ask: "Is this right?"
HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW? Seriously! I don't know what all your specs are, maybe try running it before asking??
ffs.11 -
🤘 😈😈😹 🤘
Wordpress documentation...
"
Hi all, 😎 welcome to wordpress.
Use it as your last resort. Fuck all programming langs. Php is love, php is life."
Oh by the way documentation also says:
"
Wordpress gives you all the freedom you can imagine. Say for instance... You can use any language for server EXCEPT python, ruby, java, c# and many more.[note: Keep looking for the updated list of EXCEPT as new languages come we add it here.]
"
😂😂😂2 -
Still fail to see why people give a fuck if you're self taught or have a degree. (By people I mean other developers, not employers.)
Why does it matter? Trick question: it doesn't matter. All that matters is their code.
And fun fact: both educated and self taught people can write shitty code.
Idk it just seems like unnecessary division in a group of people that all do the same fucking thing: program.29 -
WHY THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING FUCK! DO I HAVE TO WAIT 3 FUCKING DAYS TO GET A FUCKING VIDEO RENDERED! i didnt buy a new fucking 2080TI for this! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE CPU RENDER THE FUCKING VIDEO!
I mean, we can do fucking REAL TIME RAY-TRACING! And yet, no fucking idiot came to the Idea, "hmm we could let the GPU its intended purpose and dont use the CPU that much." I MEAN, IT HAPPENED, BUT FUCK IT! FUCK ALL OF THIS! FUCKING 74 HOURS!! FOR AN HOUR CLIP!
(Its 4K tho)
Fuck.22 -
My current company decided to do all automation in node.js.
Crawling, new projects, processes, all of it in Node.
Fuck my life.19 -
Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK4
-
Fucking Apple products fuck xcode fuck all ishit!
Wrapped my views in a UIStackView in storyboard designer and xcode gave it a width of 8,000,000 and height of 3,000,000
7 -
3 hours making this beautiful circuit to test stepper motors.
Arduino nano + L293D + pot
Fucking bitch has a short circuit somewhere and can't find it out...
Made the same project in a breadboard in 15 minutes and it's working.
Fuck hardware bugs.
Cutted in the middle of all connections, took out excess solder... Nothing.
Fuck it, moving to the next ideia
20 -
"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"
HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.
STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU4 -
Said it before and saying it again: FUCK YOU XCODE! This shit keeps on crashing 😒
https://devrant.io/rants/558740/...15 -
After concepting my game for years and having no real success bringing it to a playable medium, I've decided, fuck it, lets write a book.
I came up with too much lore and backstory for all the character's to go to waste!3 -
fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB
if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK2 -
Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.9
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I can't take any more CRUD.
That's it.
It seems all I do every day is CRUD, CRUD and more CRUD.
It's easy, it's fast, but fuck me... Give me at least some data manipulation to do, SOMETHING where I actually need to enable my mind, and not just "write code while watching netflix".17 -
So, I'm a Portuguese dude. I have my OS's in English language and Portuguese keyboard. Today, I spent 30 min raging at my computer because I couldn't login. I tried like all my 865725428 passwords (fake number, in case u don't get it) and still couldn't access it. Then I fucking looked and remembered Windows is an asshole and changed my keyboard input to English, so all my symbols were changed. Fuck you Windows, Linux never did this to me. Y the fuck would u? Do u like to fucking make me waste my precious time? Go and fuck yourself with a 35'' CAT-5E cable you prick.11
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SORRY JUST NEED TO RANT.....
JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE/WEBCHAT WITH SHITTY HR BLOCK CUZ THEIR SHITTY PAID SOFTWARE IS BUILT WITHOUT THE USER IN MIND AND NOW EFILED MY TAXES INCORRECTLY...
THEY CANT FIX IT SINCE ITS ALREQDY SENT TO THE IRS....
I SPENT 2 HOURS TRYING TO CONTACT A HUMAN BECAUSE THEIR WEBCHAT IS SUPER HIDDEN ON THEIR SHITTILY BUILT SITE THAT HIDES IT UNTIL I HAVE TO CALL THEIR PHONE NUMBER AND THE GUY WALKS ME THROUGH SOME SPECIFIC STEPS TO GET IT TO SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!
THEN WEBCHAT GUY ASKS FOR ALL MY INFO BUT THEN CONCLUDES THAT I NEED TO CALL THE IRS MYSELF BECAUSE THEIR SHITTY SOFTWARE ALREADY SENT THE INFO.... THE WRONG INFO....
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I OWE THE GOVERMENT $2500..... ALL THIS JUST TO PAY PPL MONEY.... FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK....
AND THERE GOES MY WHOLE NIGHT.....14 -
Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.7 -
I hate when people don't capitalize ID in all caps. It is confusing when the write it as Id or id, because I don't know if they're talking about an identifier or the aspect of human nature that exists from birth that subconsciously drives you to want to fuck your mother.8
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I recently got a notification that said "the are 590 new rants since your last visit" or something like that.
At the time that I got that notification the last time I logged on was only a day or two ago. And I'm not even subbed to that many people!
You all need to chill the fuck out. It shouldn't be healthy for you all to be this angry all the damn time.2 -
Alright, i'm fucking done.
Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.
Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."
Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."
Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."
Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."
when did Linux go to shit?
Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.
Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"
Fuck it.
I'm installing DOS.56 -
Really Microsoft really you're going to make me upgrade to the new fucking shitty version of Skype. Just let me keep it how it is and fuck right off. I already deal with all your shit in Windows.
20 -
Fuck i missed this year E3 stream. Just watched it.
Elder Scrolls on phone ?
Take my money all of it !!!!!!!!!
Its free ?????
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO5 -
Fuck. Medium.
Fuck all the articles on it too.
Do you seriously think I am so fucking dumb that I cannot keep my attention on a paragraph of text without at least one image for five seconds straight?
Three quarters of your shitty fucking article are images. They don't even relate to a damn thing in the article. It's just a fucking stream of random image subtitles.
It's just as bad as people randomly mashing pictures they found via Google search into their Power Point presentation because they actually have no content, breaking all copyright laws in the process, so they can stretch their mindless bullshit as long as humanly possible.
FUCK. YOU.5 -
FUCK ALL THOSE MONKEYS THAT WROTE ALL THE SHITTY CODE WHICH I'VE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF MY DAYS HAVING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SHIT IT DOES AND WHY I CAN'T JUST BURN IT....
AND WHY THE FUCK DO BUSINESS USERS SEEM TO THINK THAT DEVELOPERS CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THEIR BUSINESS TALK...
IF I UNDERSTAND ALL OF WHAT YOU DO, YOU WILL BE OUT OF A JOB....
P.S. APPARENTLY ONE OF MY MEDS SIDE EFFECTS ARE INCREASED IRRATIBILTY. THE SLIGHTEST ANNOYANCES NOW PISS ME OFF...
SO APPARENTLY THAT MEANS I HAVE A FREE LICENSE TO BLOW UP N RANT ON THE JOB RIGHT?
... 🖕
12 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
As someone who learns everything alone , researching and all it really frustrates the fuck out of me to have to babysit grown ass adults into learning anything.3
-
Fuck insomnia. Fuck it right in its overly alert, not at all tired face. Could I just for one night actually sleep and not wake up 2 hours later? Please?!6
-
WTF MICROSOFT.
I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.
Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.
And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.
Seriously Fuck you Microsoft7 -
Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!4 -
Why the fuck is this site blocked. How the fuck is it remotely adult content? ITS A GODDAMN WEBGL GAME. And you blocked is as being EDUCATIONAL. WHY THE FUCK WOULD MY SCOOL BAN A GODDAMN EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE?
P.S. for all those that know me, i made a website a year ago, during english class, and it got blocked at school (my goal was to get it blocked). Or so I thought. It turns out it didn't get blocked at my school, it was blocked across the whole county! I feel accomplished.
12 -
Oh fuck.... someone in my group decided to write a script and place it on boot of the system.
As soon as I turn on the system , a script was automatically running in the background which override all rows in all tables of the database that's says "I fucking quit"
As a freelancer, I witness shit like this all the time.4 -
1) That loud ass mother fucker sitting besides me, shut the fuck up.
2) Air motherfucking condition turned all the way to the max makes me horny and want to fuck your motherboard.
3) Illiterate assholes writing code without any comments and half assed function name just to look cool when we approach them for doubts.
4) Onsite motherfuckers enjoying their lives, taking photos of it and posting it in a monthly magazine while we s(h)it behind the fucking systems all day.
Thank-fucking-you, y'all can die suffocating in your own smelly dierraea poop.6 -
Motherfuck! God I hate xcode worst development environment ever conceived! Have to update it right now to be able to push to my device. Fucking appstore is the worst program ever. How about telling your users what the fuck is going on instead of just sitting there displaying a flash load circle. Gaaaaaahhh I wanted to go home 2 hours ago. Fuck you apple and all you stand for may you rot in the deepest crevices of he'll for all eternity! Fuuuuuck7
-
I fucking hate developping on windows😡😡.
Since I use linux it's a pain in the ass to work with windows in developping related stuff. Nothing works.....Or the last day it worked and then it just thinks like "fuck you, I really like to screw all the work you've done in the last hours over"
Come on...10 -
Worked on optimizing the Firefox add-on I'm writing yesterday evening, was about to go to bed and packaged/installed it onto my normal Firefox (not Firefox for developers).
It worked perfectly fine on the developer version: hardly anything happens on the normal Firefox version and I took all debugging console.log's out 😬
Fuck me. Going to try to fix this shit tonight but damn.1 -
*Me starving all the week to lose weight:
Lost 3.5~4 Kg
*Me eating as always during my pause day
Won: 2 Kg
Fuck, this shit does not work, it is like Javascript.8 -
Fuck android studio updates, fuck OpenGL libraries, fuck nvidia graphics on Linux, fuck it all to hell.
These bullshit updates keep breaking stuff in apps, and then the emulator itself gets broken somehow, then I need to run a bullshit shell script I found on some esoteric Arch Linux forum to symlink OpenGL .so libraries on my Linux machine every time I update because fucking OpenGL and nvidia crappy drivers on Linux, which also broke my xrandr configs and segfaulted the xfce4-display app.
Seriously that's horseshit. Linux will never ever ever break through the glass ceiling and become idiot-proof non-tech user friendly like the botnets Winblows and macPrison.7 -
It's like us humans LIKE IT when things are fucking complicated and difficult and complex. We ENJOY creating problems when there just couldn't be any.
Ultra-basic example: string interpolation:
Ruby: "why #{ the_fuck }"
JS: `why ${ the_fuck }`
Python: 'why { the_fuck }'
PHP: "why $the_fuck"
Why.the.fuck. is it so difficult for everyone who writes programming languages to fucking agree on doing things the same way? I understand you're all geniuses but sometimes one just can't fucking tell. We'd ALL have MUCH to gain if people could spend their fucking time working rather than figuring out why the fuck "quit" works but "exit" doesn't. Why the FUCK do all these people feel that making things unnecessarily different somehow adds inches to their floppy cocks?
FUCK YOU and fuck your computers too and your fucking languages in one huge sandwich of fuck yous with human mayo on top.18 -
You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL
I'm having that feeling right about now...
6 -
I spent few hours trying to figure out why the fuck my Ryzen 5 based notebook isnt turbo boosting at all. And well after few fucking hours figured that Ryzen CPUs are turbo boosting and quite well actually but arent reporting it to system on Linux.
Well those are hours that i could spend compiling android but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Why the fuck didnt they said it from the start ? Ahhhhhh8 -
Fuck NameCheap.
They will show you a domain is on sale, make you contact support to buy it, tell you "oh sorry it's your browser cache's fault, please restart your browser" and then JACK UP THE PRICE 10x.
Royally fuck you. This shit should be illegal. If I thought it would solve anything I'd contact ICANN.
God I fucking hate this industry. It's all a fucking scam.22 -
!dev
Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.
Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.
At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃7 -
My fucking work challenges:
1. "Talk to this thing over the internet" what language does it speak? Fuck knows
2. "Make sure all the files are correct in the server" Our server plan only allows 3 requests per second, and someone is pinging it. Can't do shit.
3. "Shit broke!" You broke it. It was working fine. In fact, all our problems stem from that 1 thing you broke!
4. "Stay here all night" The hallway to the bathroom's door is locked. I can go to my workstation but have to go outside to get to the bathroom!
Fuck, its like you don't want me to succeed -
TLDR: Scope creep.
Fuck it! I hate scope creep! 2 days before the deadline is due, slip in a little scope creep to bolster your already ambiguous as fuck scope! Of course, more fool me for taking on a project with a scope as ambiguous as this one. Or for accepting the 'just do x and y and your done' as gospel. But then again I enjoy paying my bills and you know, eating from time to time!
Fuck 'em! Fuck Clients! Fuck Scope Creep! Fuck Ambiguity to it's very Fucking core! Fuck it! Fuck me! Fuck code! I'm venturing under my table for a little cry and a sulk, then back at the god-damned grindstone to finish the project and all it's creepy scopy bits before the deadline tomorrow! FUCK!2 -
New year is the only +1 I do not give a fuck about. All it means is I am one year closer to death, so I will smoke one more cigarette after the last, one more cup of coffee with far too much sugar, and I will keep coding one more line after the other, and frankly it is just to distract me from the fact that there is always another +1, one more person to hate, one more word spoken, all so I can get to through one more year. So fuck the new year because there will always be another. But I won't always get a +1 on a rant.5
-
Fuck academics! End semester exams are ucking waste of time ! Just need to study one night before and on exam ay 'vomit' all my memory onto the paper. Fuck it. I AM done.19
-
Making an MVP is hard as hell. It's not even coding that makes it hard, it's knowing when to stop that's so damn difficult. By the time you're ready with something, your brain says "Hey...wouldnt it be great if you added this!" Then you add it, "whoa add this too!"...several days later:
Brain: "The fuck is this, all you needed was that"
😭😭😭7 -
porra; caralho; toma no cu.
this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.
srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me
first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.
cleaned 35 gbs.
finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.
ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.
tried downloading the updated Android version.
it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!
Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.
unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.
I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML
Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.
I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.
did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.
I'm fucking losing my mind here.
In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...15 -
NPM has this cool feature called "link" which allows you to easily link local npm packages as dependencies of other local packages for developement. It's so cool in fact that everything you run npm install it deletes all your links for fuck all reason1
-
fuck iText.
fuck Aspose.
fuck Adobe.
fuck PDFs.
It will be all too soon if I never have anything to do with programming an app to do PDF generation/manipulation ever again.8 -
Jesus goddamn Christ, fuck all the poorly designed UX. I wish there was an API for everything, it would make everyone's lifes way more pleasant6
-
FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WINDOWS, WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TASK BAR DOES NOT HIDE AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN IT WAS WORKING? I GO TO SETTINGS TO TURN IT OFF AND BACK AGAIN AND NOTHING HAPPENS. RESTART AND A GOD DAMN UPDATE STARTS.7
-
All the articles about javascript fatigue lately. Omg just shut the fuck up already. Being a developer is hard, deal with it2
-
I never used to lie. Unless it was absolutely necessary which was very rare.
But now, I can lie so easily.
It all started with those fake sick emails after entering coroorate. And now I have become a lying bastard.
I don’t like myself when I lie but the necessities have become frequent in corporate.
Fuck corporate man!
Fuck it with porcupine quills!11 -
So i just quit legally gotten GTA5, and i quit it with a thought of "fuck this unplayable shit, i'm gonna uninstall it to make space for illegal cracked version, because that one actually runs in playable manner".
I'm sorry, but i'm not sorry. Fuck all of the anticrack crap that makes it choke for half a second every 10 seconds.15 -
Fucking long week at work.. but its not all bad. Facebook stock tanking makes up for it. Bahaha fuck em3
-
Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.
Fuck
Human
Resources
Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.
Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.
I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.7 -
My own colo server. My own cloud. My own infra.
Fuck all of the CSP's and their fucking broken TOS and their data privacy violations!
Why do you think Amazon is so cheap? Because when they discover a product/service/software on AWS makes money, they WILL Reverse engineer it, make it and price you out of the market. It's their business model!5 -
"I will do great commits that make sense! I will always track all my atomic chang.... Oh, fuck it, there it goes again".
3 -
All of a sudden the Macbook Pro power adapter was broken yesterday. Guess how much does it cost just to replace it?
Fuck you Apple. If you're gonna overprice, it make it durable and good quality dammit.9 -
Fucking hell. When you go to bed sorta early, but can't stop thinking about your latest project for some fucking reason. So you wake up hours later STILL thinking about it, thus you aren't even sure if you slept at all. Doesn't feel like it. What the fuck? Programming, are you my goddamn love interest or what? Anyone knows the feeling?2
-
This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?
Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.
FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.13 -
Razer, Corsair, Das Keyboard, all ignore ISO 9995, and it drives me fucking nuts! The fucking backslash goes UNDER the fucking pipe!
This shit will fuck people up.
7 -
Common misconception is that low efficiency technologies (react native, in this case) are completely useless. That is not true at all. Im building a smart home, and yes i want a mobile app, but 90% is just requests to endpoints, so its way simpler to just copy paste some buttons inside a js file than do it properly with native. Would i use it in prod? Fuck no. Would i hack together a bunch of buttons? Fuck yes.8
-
web technologies rot your brain into a festering deadly biohazard mush. web technologies are the worst thing that ever happened to this world. fucking festering web shitosystem fuck this disgusting stupid fragile opaque bloated universe-sized chunk of retarded pukeshit.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUCKING GAMES, NOT HAVE MY BRAIN AND SOUL CONSTANTLY ROTTED BY THIS FUCKIN MONUMENT TO UTTER RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED HUMAN INCOMPETENCE FUCK YOU ALL FUCK ALL THIS SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK DISGUSTING FUCKIN MINDRAPE PEDOPHILIACS SHOULD STOP FUCKING "INVENTING" SHITPOOLS.
WHEN
THE
FUCK
WILL
SOMEONE
COMPETENT
BE
THE
INVENTOR
OF
SOME
PIECE
OF
IT.
whoever were the rapists who "invented" php, js, html, css, SQL, and all the bullshit about how it's supposed to be configured and communicate with each other should have died of starvation in a fuckin ditch while being raped by squirrels... before they managed to "invent" any of that disgusting shit.
fuck you with your fuckin linux bullshit philosophy which keeps rotting all your brains thinking that this is fine and it can be fixed just by piling more and more layers of fucking shit on top of all this shit.
FUCK.
YOU.
ALL.19 -
Fuck you windows 10. Fuck you private keys. Fuck you tortoise git. Fuck you git bash. Fuck you cygwin. Want 3x hours of my life back. Had an auth problem... Had to reinstall all the above on windows to connect to my private repo. Took me 5 minutes to connect after reinstalling all the tools. Grrrrrrr. And I'll never know why it wouldn't connect apart from fatal protocol error: bad line length character..I tried ever stack overflow answer... I nearly bricked my gitlab CE...and it was windows being a motherslut8
-
some genius modafaka thought REPLACING python3.6 by 3.7 in all the dev machines is gonna be fine... the whole team is going nuts... fuck you IT... who gave you the permission5
-
Why the fuck do some companies make it seem like you need them more than they need you? Also, what the fuck is with organizations who antagonize you when you make a small mistake? Do all of the good things we've done get thrown under the bus because of one mistake???? Fucking corporations!!!!!!!5
-
I was hating on Postman for 10 minutes straight...
and then I found out it was me all along.
Turns out, it's an advantage if you actually select the proper environment before sending a request.
fuck me... coffee! ☕3 -
Spent a good bit of my time the past few months developing a cool web app for our company.
Was told last week the due to all the layoffs etc that we would no longer have a need for it.
Fuck!
Still proud of the work I did and how it turned out.1 -
Why is it ok for a girl to live off her husbands salary and not vica versa? Like fuck it ill do the dishes and play games all day and to hell with my 9 to 6 job. Starting to seem the only way i’d be able to code what i want not what im asked too 🤷🏻♂️8
-
!dev
I fucking hate how when an (musical) artist dies, all of a sudden everyone is a fucking fan of them.
First it was Lil peep, then it was fucking Xtension cord dude, then Mac Miller and now Nippsey.
Like ik damn well all the people I am friends with saying "rip Nippsey" have heard like 2 songs from him and listened to them twice.
But now that he's dead you're acting like you bumped his shit all day & everyday? Fuck off man.18 -
!dev
Theres atleast one fucking bastard that writes comments like "2018?" "2018???", "september 2018?", "still listening in 2019??" in every fucking song video in youtube. Fuck you braindead useless pile of shits! Yes its fucking 2018 and why the fuck you just write it there?? Why the fuck somebody even cares and likes that kind of trash comments?!? Fuck you bunch of wasted human cells. I want to kill all of those fucking fuckwits. STOP FUCKING COMMENTING DateTime.Now.Year IN EVERY FUCKING SONG YOU MOTHERFUCKER CUNTS!5 -
I hate it when the college gives priority to project report than project. I fucking hate it. Line spacing, fancy borders, font size, institutional logo, who the fuck cares? All I care is what work is going on and what have we learnt from it. Fuck these faggots. For the past week I am more of a typist than an engineering student.
I got even angrier when the evaluators did not even open and go through the report.
for i in range(sys.maxsize()):
print(“fuck”)7 -
fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.2
-
Last night: Wow, I just finished that massive feature and I still get some time left! Why not play something?!
Oh crap, this game is so cool but my video card drivers needs an update (AMD Radeon on a Fedora system).
The proprietary drivers don't run on this version of Xorg server... Fine, let's search for some solutions online and... Hey! Found it! Let's see: downgrade Xorg, download the driver, patch it for your kernel version...
Did I just fucked my display? Oh yeah... Let's try to fix it........
Fuck...
5am: Finally got it all working perfectly again... Fuck this game, I hate it!3 -
Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!
Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!
It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I1 -
Me: "Sweet new Xcode update"
Me: "I'm sure they fixed all the bugs"
*starts download*
Xcode: "Want to upgrade to the latest Swift syntax?"
Me:
*clicks yes*
Me:
Me: "Fuck it, next release is 'fully rewritten from the ground up'"1 -
Soooo this Canadian mother fuck, own the domain I want, and isn’t using it, and doesn’t wanna sell it.. tells me he is using it for his business.. after a bit of research the domain went inactive after 2007. Hours after sending an email.. a wix site pops up. And then then tells me his buisness has been using it for 25 years.. really??! Per public record your buisness went defunct years ago.
Won’t sell me the domain... fine, I’ll buy all the domains with your name in it variants of your buisness name, and point them to gay porn.. FUCK YOU.. fire with fire BITCH!23 -
Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA2
-
I COULDNT GET THE WIFI TO WORK, THAT WAS ALL, AND NOW THIS SHIT fuck it all I'm going to bed then waking up and switching to an Outdoor Leadership degree.
4 -
FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT10
-
One will seldom hear me completely shit about a piece of technology.
But my time has come to do it again:
Fuck RedHat man. Like, really, fuck you. Fedora is fine. Centos is fine. Fuck red hat.
That is all. Thank you.7 -
Anyone else fucking pissed off by all the shit saying "Learn to Code in 21 Days".
You don't see anyone trying to become a doctor in 21 days so why the fuck do people think our work is so easy that any fucking asshole can do it in 21 days.
Fuck this whole fucking stupid world...23 -
YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!
THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!
I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!
15 -
First week on the job...excited to start working after just finishing uni..they gave me a monster C# project that hasn't been modified in years...and all the devs that worked on it are no longer employed and the code has absolutely no comments.
And I'm supposed to learn it and modify it...fuck me this is gonna take a while.4 -
The cordova-windows platform setup is such a fucking shitfest. Even after installing everything, setting all sorts of env variables it still failed to properly run.
Thank fuck there's cordova-electron, so I don't have to fuck around with that anymore and can also just have the desktop be done, without having to seperate across different desktop platforms either.
2 -
It is so comforting when senior senior senior engineers also tell you they have no idea why a fucking test spec occasionally fails. Literally, the spec is fine and all but sometimes, it just decides to say fuck off.3
-
Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!7 -
This is not something new but I want to say it loud again.
With all my heart, fuck you internet explorer. Windows should release a FORCED update (sorry for that) and remove it from every fucking version of windows and antivirus programs should detect it as a virus. It should be removed from existence and browser lists and also saying its name should be crime. Also, please remove it and any releated memories with it from our brains.
Thanks.11 -
FUCK YOU GITKRAKEN
After all the suggestions in https://devrant.com/rants/1540091 I decided to give Gitkraken a try.
Here's the shitty experience you can expect:
1) It doesn't even ask you where to install it. Turns out, it spontaneously installs itself in "%LOCALAPPDATA%\gitkraken" - who the fuck installs software there??
2) It is "seamlessly integrated with GitLab", except the first time you open it you can only log in with your GitKraken or GitHub account, and NOT with a GitHub one. Just brilliant
3) After logging in, it spontaneously changes your global git username and email config, because fuck you that's why
4) If you have a repo on AWS CodeCommit with an remote that looks like "ssh://git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/...", *after the first push* it will spontaneously change it to "<user>@git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/bla/bla", causing future actions to fail. Because FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY.
And they expect people to pay for this shit, just to be able to manage more than one account at a time (and some "additional features" that are not even listed on the site)?
FUCK OFF, AND FUCK YOU FOR WASTING MY FUCKING TIME, HOW ABOUT I CHANGE YOUR FUCKING SETTINGS TO FUCK YOU22 -
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck
16 -
New macbook pro has no usb ports , that's apple way of saying "fuck all developers" . That is such a dick move , also the shitty butterfly keyboard i don't know if any developer will like it , any thoughts?7
-
Decided to make an edit of my avatar so that I could have an avatar that was a bit more accurate, and it looked nice and all in Photoshop. But then I exported it and fuck this
3 -
FUCK IEEE 754.
I've always thought that javascript's problem with floating points was just a good anecdote, but it couldn't have serious consequences in real life programming.
Until I've been stuck half an hour with a bug just because (2.8-0.8)%2 was falsy! FUCK, why don't decide to switch to a decent codification of numbers? Fuck them and fuck all programming languages like this5 -
Aws Lambda and serverless framework. Yes FaaS is cool. Love it. But it is pain in ass when you have the only way for you deploy is zip the fucking code with all the dependencies. Comm'on AWS you can do better. Look at azure functions. Please give me a git deployment support. Please I beg. Each test iteration takes like for ever. Also no proper local emulator. Fuck you AWS. Fuck you serverless.3
-
Fuck CORS.
Three hours into trying to make it fucking work... YES BROWSER I ALLOWED ALL ORIGINS WHY DONT YOU WORK 😭😭5 -
Who the fuck at google thought it was a good idea to not let you log out from a single account in gmail when multiple are logged in in the browser. You have to log out of all of them all or not at all. And it is a new change, i can remember being able to do that previously. Just why?2
-
RIL you fucking piece of shit.
Hard as fuck to make it working because of all the shit OEMs did in it. Cant we just use standarts ?5 -
Second fecking time since January, I thought these things were meant to be "low maintenance"! (Though in fairness this time is sort of my fault, I may have accidentally edited the MacOS Python files instead of the downloaded ones)
2 -
All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.7 -
I love it when a friend calls for help... i really do. But why the fuck it's all about hacking someone's account.2
-
Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.1
-
Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.7 -
And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....
It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...
COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices
COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.
COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction9 -
So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.
People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development1 -
Why printer services is stuck in time?
The windows printer spooler is old like my grandma. He fuck all the time but nobody wants to recode it ? I need to search for old driver a day long to make it fucking work at 10%
On linux generic printer driver do the job but cannot do all the things you want
Why is so fucking complicated all the time ? ( Don't think that scanner work you don't have de correct driver )
Solutions printer share the code for how de fuck i work ?2 -
Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.
Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.
2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.
3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.
4.install linux subsystem.
5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.
6.party all night (code)9 -
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1 -
For fuck's sake, why do so many engineering professors use Comic Sans in their power points and documents?!? These are incredibly intelligent people, so how can they be so ignorant? We all have to suffer as a result... Honestly, has nobody ever had the balls to tell them to change their fucking font because it is ugly as sin, hurts the eyes, and is super childish? Fuck all those people who insist on using Comic Sans. You all deserve to spend time burning in hell for your cruelty. Better yet - sir who invented Comic Sans: go fuck yourself and burn in hell.9
-
Ah yes. Do that please one guy in our dev group says. OK easy. Oh i forgot. Do it for all platforms of phones we support and then also do it in all individual devices.
Uhmmmmmmm
So we have 7 platforms. 1 platform has minimum of 2 devices. Some 3 or more even.
All in all its around 28 repos.
And i have to PR to all of them basically the same thing just slightly modified.
FUCK.2 -
FUCK YOU SYNOLOGY
Fuck you for breaking all my custom shit.
Fuck you for wiping almost everything (but leaving random stuff) every major update.
Fuck you for switching from upstart to systemd 219 (RELEASED MARCH 2015!).
Fuck you for using an outdated kernel.
Fuck you for having the weirdest shittiest preconfigured settings.
Fuck you for using your own custom package format.
Fuck you for being so utterly broken.
Fuck you for making me work 10 hours just to get everything back up and running the way it was.
Fuck you from the bottom of my heart
4 -
If Windows 10 had a free version with ads and a paid version without all that crap on it, I’d upgrade my Windows partition. Since even by paying the licence I got ads on it, go fuck yourself, Windows 7 is still okay.8
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Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...5 -
Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO
Fuck it all6 -
If something is free, doesn't make it the best, it is like saying virtual box is better than VMware because it is free, all I can say is that virtual box is a bitch and VMware is a sexy house wife .....bitches fuck with everyone every with discount....
Good morning peeps6 -
Final year of my diploma in Information Tech, I overhear a coursemate, well-known know-it-all, explaining what Javascript is:
"It's somewhat like Java but it's used for scripting purposes."
I swear to the Lord Almighty, I wish I could drive my palm through my face.2 -
When your CSE partner always overrides your perfect self committing code like lastItem, rightFrontItem and just renames them all to x, n, and z. Now it looks like shit and can't understand it as easy! I guess fuck giving variables meaningful names! Lets just make chaos in a world of order.1
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Fuck Android Studio and Gradle!
Especially Gradle, you fucking slow RAM consuming shit!
It consumed like all of my RAM and my computer is lagging like shit
It can't even import my SVG!
Because of frustration I accidentally hard reset my local git repo and lost 3 hours of work!8 -
So I've mentioned before that I'm pretty much the sole programmer for my robotics team. I'm on vacation for a week, and the other programmer has to take over.
Is it normal that, since I made the code work and wrote it almost all myself, I am fearful that she's gonna fuck it all up? I kind of want her to work on it slowly so I don't worry too much...5 -
What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!
-
Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me3
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rm -rf "specific versions of dependencies that have not been documented anywhere".tar.gz && make clean all
*Tries to build the .deb with the new versions of dependencies*
Result: get told to kindly fuck off.
... It was a fun weekend trying to hunt down the specific combination of versions to successfully build it.1 -
disclaimer i dont understand css to begin with so you can discard my opinion
You have all these options for width https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US... , but guess what none of them do anything different as you brute force try them all in the chrome debugger. Dunno what cascades except my butthurt
so fuck it ~1000% width works and has an ugly overhang, but fuck front end9 -
I started programming on a new POS machine and I noticed that sometimes it reboots randomly. The boss and the assistance said that it's a well known bug and happened also in all old machines. Ah.... Ok.
And that shit costs a lot and it's stupid as fuck. Really? How the fuck is it possible? Sometimes I think that if I put a cardreader and a printer in a 50$ android phone I would save a lot of time6 -
Grab app notifications system sucks to the max. Actually the whole Grab app sucks when it compared to Uber.
But fucking Uber is expensive and high and all mighty. They are like hey our app is the best, so use if you want or fuck off.
Grab. They are not expensive and they do shit tons of promotions and gives much more coupons. But all the news are sent to that buggy NOTIFICATIONS page and that fucking page is buggy as shit.
I wonder that they are doing it intentionally. Hey give lots of promotions. Just make it hard as fuck for people to access and use it. -
Fuck whoever is responsible for the backup and restore features of ADB. Luckily I had a backup in a different format, but if it was up to ADB's shittyness I would've lost all my data.
-
Working 40 hours per week while doing freelancer stuff and now a fking masters degree due september this year. How do you guys manage it? I dont know if I could do it all... Fuck it3
-
Making a VR app.
It must work with:
- pico VR
- oculus go
- oculus gear
- Android (standard mobile
- iOS
Now, except for iOS they all work with android, which make things way easier.
Now guess where most of the troubles are?
FUCKING IOS, I just fucking believe iOS even inverts the whole fucking textures while using Unity+GVR
WHY THE FUCK DOES IT EVEN HAPPEN?
I have 4 different projects to build 5 different Apps
Fuck my work6 -
I don’t give a fuck about crypto currency, bitcoin and all the shit. I don’t even want to know how it works.
I’m an arrogant or dumb ??
Roast me.6 -
Someone please tell me why react sees if(x = y) as valid js. That typo basically broke my app for 3 weeks and I didn't figure it out untill now. It set all my states to the same value. Fuck me 😑19
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fuck you office365, almost all fucking services. It is so fucking slow, takes ages to open 1 fucking email with only attachments. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!6
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My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence
8 -
I want to create multiple entries on a worklist with one message in one of the systems we work with.
I googled the issue and miraculously found link about precisely this issue...
It was a mailing list... with my messages... last message: "thanks, i managed to figure it all out"...
And no details...
Well, fuck me...2 -
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");2 -
Why the fuck does a windows server 2016 guest with ballooning service on proxmox take the full 10GB RAM from the host I assign to it?
I have installed all the virtio drivers and it does show in the guest summary itself the real usage of 1GB RAM, but if I check in htop or the datacenter summary, it shows the usage is 10/11GB all the time.19 -
!rant
How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!14 -
I HATE it when client does not know what he wants. Removed a functionality only to be added back again with all the ripples going through the code¡¡¡¡¡
ARGH¡¡¡¡¡¡ FUCK ME
Where's my exclamation mark u shitty SwiftKey keyboard¿¿¿¿1 -
Yay Google + leaked info!!
New old news again :P
Come on people if you want something to be safe you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT send it to someone else's computer. That's it. Fuck firewalls fuck av fuck it all.1 -
Actors/Use cases and analysis modeling approaches as a whole are for retards that require pictures for everything they do.
Designing this shit is time consuming and should be delegated to simple board drawing rather than full featured software that can develop this monumental waste of time.
Change my mind5 -
Fucking fuck! I'm done.
The client IT team decided to change the whole fucking theme of Wordpress and the manager who fucking approved the previous changes left month ago.
Spent whole day trying to integrate all the changes I've done previously on different theme in new theme but this fucking new theme always decides to fuck up whole CSS every time I do some changes in theme option.
FUCKING FUCK!1 -
Today was:
Fuck it, this API makes no sense I'm tired of trying to make sense of it...
-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-
OMG this makes more sense, why didn't I do this at first?1 -
Fuck you Mobike!! Stop polling your applog.mobike.com server literally every 10 fucking seconds when your app is not even running! And why the fuck did it suddenly start last night, of all things? It's fucking creepy and invasive.
Related question: does anyone know how to permanently shut down a background app service on an unrooted android 7? Even if I kill the background process (not the app itself - that one has not even been opened), it still restarts a minute later3 -
Fuck reuse, we should all take our repeatable code and manually repeat it everywhere it's needed so when we have to make a change we have to make sure we remember to change it in all the places and take hours to do a one line change.
...Also...fuck source control...
And they say I don't have fucks to give.2 -
It is so funny how this PM got dizzy when I started detailing all the possibilities of her generic requirements and asking for clarification and we started drawing how the fuck she wants in to be.
But "just put all data on the report" should be simple, right?
Not a 2 hours discussion on one topic out of 10, right?
Not.3 -
I'm fucking annoyed by low contrast bullshit all over the web!!!
Seriously, 1.9:1 contrast ratio for text on a documentation site?
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. STOP THIS SHIT. IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. IT ISN'T USEFUL. IT'S GODDAMN INFURIATING THAT I HAVE TO SQUINT TO READ SOMETHING THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE READING AND MAKE MY EYES BLEED!
It's not cool, it never was.
#contrastrebellion5 -
I spent the last 2 days, my father's birthday, and my birthday working on a bug for the game in developing for mobile. And I've done everything to try and fix it. Optimize the vertices, deleted assets not in use, organized all my assets into separate folders, and you know what. Fuck it. If "app not installed" I'm going to port it to PC.
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I just wanna cry rn, I'm not even mad. Something happened while trying to install High Sierra on my third partition and somehow both my drives (HDD and SSD) stopped working. Nothing boots. Files? Probably gone. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I was careful, I didn't click or execute anything I didn't know. How? Just... How?
Now I have to hope my important stuff is still there and I can recover it. If it's just the EFI fucked up, ok, I can fix it. If the partition table is fucked up (most probable) idk if I can fix it, hopefully I can. AAARGH
There goes my entire day or even the entire weekend... All because I don't own a piece of shit of an iPhone and needed an emulator to try to reproduce an issue on a fucking webapp for a client.8 -
FUCK LINUX part 932.5
Actually systemd, I know it's !== linux but it comes with linux so fuck them both, fuck ALL OF IT
*systemd service file*
[...]
StandardOutput=append:/myshit.out.log
StandardError=append:/myshit.err.log # erm... please?
[...]
*logs*
yeah fuck this guy, let's all go to /var/log/messages29 -
Node.js is the most fucking useless application of js in publishing apps, worse can be only python. Why the fuck would you do all of those "cool" apps if they are fucking useless like tech demo. I found blessed-contrib. Awesome. Now try to use it in real life scenario. Fuck all and useless. Any attempt to port it to a remote terminal or even running locally in browser are so much hassle it will be easier to rewrite the fucking thing in java or c. Why everyone is wanking off at node.js when its fucking useless.7
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Note to anyone who is thinking about using Google Inbox:
Don't use that fucking stupid cuntbag of a tool for important email accounts. Even though it uses POP3 as Google states, it just permanently wiped all 2700 emails from the account via IMAP without any reason just after it was setup, so that even all the locally saved emails on all of our devices connected via IMAP were deleted. Go fuck yourself Google.5 -
JavaScript is shit! The only JavaScript frameworks I've liked so far is Angular 2 onwards all the way upto 5, and that's only because it's in TypeScript. Fucking JavaScript! How did it even get here!? So anything with JS, please save us all the gut wrenching, testicle crushing, ass fucking without lube pain.... fuck JavaScript!1
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My boss writes code like this:
def someFunction (someArg: String) = ...
Who does that?! A space? Da fuck?! And it's all over the code base. Whenever another dev touches any of his stuff, we correct it:
def someFunction(someArg: String) = ...
The way god intended it!8 -
I fucking hate Government and petty laws sometimes. How dare they force you to have superannuation and never let you use it until you're 80 or whatever and in the meantime it could all be lost in the blink of an eye. That's money that could have been put to good use when needed. What the fuck do we work for? Taxes and super?6
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Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1 -
God damn it Microsoft Teams is the shittiest piece of conferencing software ever. The UI is not consistent at all, calls are dropping like flies, and it does this bullshit thing where if packets are dropped it speeds up people's voices which is annoying as fuck. Echoes are everywhere and does no background filtering so people are on mute when they're talking. Fuck you Microsoft for bundling this pos down our throats.11
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Why haven't I learned about js fetch before now. I've even used socket.io!
Fetch is amazing and I just built a function for using fetch with WordPress AJAX hooks. Yes I know it's WordPress and there's jQuery but all of my custom plugins use vanilla js as a little fuck you.
Oh yeah but ie doesn't support it at all2 -
System finally fully updated to all git packages as it was. Who would say it would take 3 hours to build llvm and gcc. Fuck i hate that package. Have a repo for it tho. And holy. GNOME 3.36 beta is here and i didnt even know. Fuck.2
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Gonna update my discord bot! But I'm gonna rewrite it all in JavaScript because FUCK Discord.py honestly a horrible community and shit docs it just didnt feel right at all the only reason i stuck with it because it was my senior project and my first big project9
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Turns out the reason the selection of RA cores on the PS3 sucks so much dick is that it has a half-complete OpenGL implementation.
Fuck it, we're doing it live. I've got CFW, i'll dynarec if I damn well please. If it won't compile i'll fucking make it compile, I don't give a fuck about "sanity restraints" and "needing OpenGL 2" and "LV1 required" I can fucking replace all of LV1 and LV2 if I fucking want FUCK YOU
The Cell processor is pretty beefy, I could prolly do it all-CPU if I wanted.8 -
Fuck Avahi, fuck Aruba AirGroup, fuck Bonjour and fuck "zeroconf" networking. I spent all day configuring it.12
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Insane amounts of coffee. Because if I don't have it at least once in a day, I don't make any sense at all. Just like how coffee isn't a tool.
Fuck. -
PATH TOO LONG
FUCK WINDOWS
it has gigs and gigs and asks for more but in the end, it's geological layers of shit on top of each other, turtles all the way down and the last one stands over DOS
3 -
So we now answer IT support calls. I’m a developer that does help desk support work. Is it just me, or does anyone else find that extremely fucking annoying? I don’t want to spend my day being interrupted all the time to solve an IT problem when I’m employed as a developer. Fuck sake. The worst bit about all of this is I can’t find another job because there aren’t any. Glorious.1
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So got my pixel 2 XL screen replaced after months of waiting on the part, took it to my usual repair guy and it was fixed within the hour, everything was all fine.
Went home, went to take a photo aaaaaaaaand cameras aren't working.... For fuck sake!
Why can't I have nice things...3 -
when you want to keep the code clean, but you are about to say "fuck it" it needs to work that is all....
5 -
Here's the story of me trying to set up Jenkins with Java, Maven and pipelines. I finally got it to work :D Not sure if it's the correct way and all, but fuck it, it works!
1 -
Whoever came up with the PSD2 can get fucked up their ass by all the cocks in the world combined.
Whoever fucked up the new security implementations so bad can get fucked up their ass by all the spiked, rusty, aids-contaminated metal poles in existance.
And whoever allowed all this to happen and approved it should take all the nukes in the world, shove them all up their worthless holes, and detonate them all at once.
Fuck you.
Die in a fire.
Sincerely,
Someone who's failing harder and harder every day to not lose faith in what little good there is in humanity.9 -
Fuck all those fuckers that buy domain and try to sell them for shit load of cash. I don't even have a problem if you sell it for a few thousands of dollars. But I just contacted some fucker who owns a worthless domain cachet.com, and he is trying to sell it for over hundred thousand dollars. Why the fuck. I have a feeling that this guy is brain dead or something. Fucking cunt8
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Spring boot does very much automagically.... but to find every possible configuration is hard....
I found out that it has an automatic config for Scheme Server... but how the fuck to configure it 😑
And do I still need avro made domain objects 🤔 it's hard to fight through all these documentations and versions of spring. 😖 -
Whoever named memcached: fuck you with an open umbrella. It was a bright fucking idea when there already exists a memcahe extension for php. Finding good php examples is impossible when all these idiots name theyr example posts memcached and use memcache class in the code. Fuck.5
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Never have I ever been nervous about a meeting. Clients come to me all the time requesting a meeting. I've had positive reviews ever since I started.
However two days ago I received an email about an interview that takes place in the morning. And I decided to fuck up my fucking beard in tryig to groom it! FUCK!2 -
Fuck you Redis
Goes in a docker container, calls bgrewriteaof, get success, checks info - no pending writes, last write success.
Tries to scp to remote, fails - Unexpected AOF
Decides to shut down the local redis to be able to port, in case it's blocking it
Calls redis-cli shudown (expect to just shut redis down rigth)
It fucking deleted all my data, now I see the docs
"Flush the Append Only File if AOF is enabled."
Why the fuck? Fuck you redis, fuck you1 -
Control your searches like an ADULT damn it!!!
So we have records that can have any of a bazillion different reference numbers associated with them. No big deal. Everyone does right?
Our customer's love to run reports and so we have this one option for "just look at a hell of a lot of reference numbers". I call it the 'fuck all' search.
Really it is just there to find something that you don't know where a rando string or number might be in the record and just want to do a "fuck all" search across a number of likely fields to find it... and then presumably you'd be an adult and refine your search from there. LOL yeah right...
Customers get lazy and include that stupid option in their reports and we get a lot of.
Customer: "I always run this report (that includes the fuck all search) and now it isn't working. I want records that have ID 2222."
Me: "Yeah well that was only working because you were rando typing '2222' in like several fields and it would find those .... but now you quit doing that so it won't find them. If you want ID 2222, click the drop down and search by 'ID'. That will find it right away."
Customer: "But I want to just search by 'fuck all search' to find it..."
Me: "But then you get all these other records too right?"
Customer: "Yeah but I just delete them out of the spreadsheet ... "
Me: "Look watch this <screen share> there, look all records with an ID of 2222 and no more extra records you need to delete!!! How great is that?"
Customer: "But why do I have to do it this way now, I want to do it the old way..."
ಠ_ಠ
(granted I could add their ID to the fuck all search but we try to avoid adding too much because it gets out of hand / stops being useful the more fuck all it gets)3 -
What the holy fuck! Resharper is fucking dog shit! I've never used it before and just had to install for a new job. Visual studio was running great on my machine with 32GB ram and i7 processor. Installed resharper and it just doesn't work. How the fuck does anyone get any work done when it takes literally seconds to register a click! I get it's features are impressive but it means fuck all if it stops me working3
-
Disrupting the user's goal to push content is literally the worst way to gain traction. All it does is piss people off.
Fuck whoever is pushing for this.3 -
FUCK ANDROID EMULATOR!
WHY DOES IT HAS TO CONNECT THROUGH GOOGLE'S DNS?
AND AFTER ALL THE FUSS I HAD TO TEST ON A PHYSICAL DEVICE!4 -
nothing personal, but fuck you all who are responsible for these mobile game tutorials where i can't even disable sound until i finish it.2
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Ever look at someone’s PR in your project repo, remember that you dislike that person because they think they know it all, give it a few seconds, and say fuck it and completely ignore the fact that they submitted that PR?
THEY WOULD OF THOUGHT.4 -
I don't get it, why the fuck are you cc'ing me in all the support ticket you are done/close. The ticket has nothing to do with my work. Fuck you cunt.4
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Fuck!
The activity tab on Instagram has gone now..
That feature was really useful in understanding the people better - their quirks, their secret desires etc.
It helped me learn people without really talking to them at all..
So disappointed 😑5 -
Okay Fuck you Ionic
Look I dont know if it is me but when you say there is a $ionicFacebookAuth service in your @ionic/cloud there had better freaking be one!!!!!
Using ionic1 by the way all -
System Engineer who is adhoc scrummaster got all pissy when us devs did not transition their jira tickets when they merged with develop.
Jesus christ take five minutes, google it and figure out how to do it automatically and while you are add it add the fucking reviewers!
It’s a pain to do it each time!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!’2 -
Not using design pattern on a school project because he was too busy understanding what the fuck was Smalltalk since no one understood it in classes.
yes it was me. I don't blame myself, I really took too much time understanding that (and I was the only one to do that, the other just asked me. ALL OF THEM). But I should, I guess. -
*me writing my sweet code like nothing bad could happend*
Xcode: bum! Compiling error
Me: what the...
*compile again
Xcode: yeah right. Bam! Error
*clean, etc. compile again
Xcode: yeah, try your luck looser
Me: ok, let's google it. First stack overflow answer: just change the simulator and should work correctly.
And of course it worked. And that's how it works all day.
Fuck you Xcode! Fuck you Apple!
-
The laptop it was running as a server just stopped turning on
Meaning my reverse proxy. Some test environments and various other services I haven't moved to my actual server yet are all stopped. : /
Fuck this im going to bed. I'll deal with it tomorrow -
deff not dev related at all
random as fuck enough to warrant some scientific analysis to it tho.
if you is a brown Hispanic and you somehow marry a white chick. It is a damn near close to a T statistical fact that you will not shut the fuck up about it.
Experiencing this with a friend on both fb and Instagram. I swear to high haven, my fb looks like a fucking fan page of all the pictures of his below average looking white wife.
Dude I get it, but please stfu already with this shit.
...SNOOOOOZE11 -
This is how my macbook keybboard writes the letter "b" it’s not happening all the time though, sometimes it outputs b and and other times bb, wtf I only pressed it once. And it's happening randomly, fuck this shit, I cant even take it to apple customer service and leave it there for a week or more. I guess I'm living with it and don't bbother fixing it. fuck b errr6
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Why the fuck hasn't Google come out with an updated design guideline for TABLETS?! All this beautiful material design but it looks like shit on a tablet!!2
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This is with nothing open. How the fuck am I supposed to work on here. Defiantly won't be firing up any VMs
--
Yes, it's all background crap, no I can't close any of it. Yes, I have rebooted
17 -
Seriously fuck react native, google wants us to upload 64bit apk's and i spend a fuckton of time updating to the next version then i manage to produce the smaller 64bit apk's and now they won't start because
https://github.com/facebook/...
What the actual fuck. even with all that info we havnt managed to fix it as the human race.1 -
!dev
Wrote a script that overwrote all of my content from reddit prior to deleting it.
Fuck you, Spez. You ruined a good thing. The SJWs can have their new home, idgaf.1 -
Fuck the AP comp sci test all they give me is a number (1-5) and that's fucking it, how the fuck and I supposed to know what I did wrong.1
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Today. Dropped in the middle of a project. Constant blocks. And no one will resolve them while demanding it be done next week.
-
What the fuck is this version control thing? We managed to pass one fucking entire semester building an mobile game without knowing anything about version control. How my team finished the game? Fuck, we just place our source code and files into the folder, archive to rar and sent it through gmail. My desktop was a fucking mess, it was bunch of New Folder(x) all over the place. Fucking school didn't even taught or mentioned even once about that shit. In fact our faculties were all master degree holder. Our life could have been easier back then. So in this last school year, we gonna use that shit in our Capstone project.5
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Haha fuckers fucking hell! Last post was about Factorio not starting. Guess what. My hard drive failed. Fuck. Razer wanted to wipe the computer to fix the rattling noise inside. I told them fuck off you should be able to fix it anyways. Guess they might as well wipe it all clean now...1
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When you get an assignment by mail,
- you do those changes exactly as being asked, albeit one insignificant extra visual thing,
- you send back exactly what's changed (which is exactly what was being asked, but naming things as they are, clearer than I can ever explain changes),
- you go to the person that has assigned the very thing, explain it, he seems to get it,
...
Then.. a few hours later.. you get a reply via mail:
"Come explain what you're saying here, because I don't get it."
🤨 -
When it comes to dev tools, It seems like everywhere you turn these days all you get is a rabbit hole trip to GitHub's issue queue WTF! Oh, and there are so many tools out there so we all now need to have a task management tool which just add to the complexity of local dev development, fuck that! To make matters more absurd, those who write them tools think that it is a great idea to rename commands between each minor release because why not after all machines know how to decipher changes right? Wrong, last I checked, machines rank high on the autism spectrum and won't find a command unless you lead them directly to its file system location. The command fuck you could not be found are you sure you spelled it correctly, or did you mean fuck me? is all that it's capable of. Sigh...4
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When you use ls to look at a directory other than your cwd, decide you don't need that folder and rm -rf * in your cwd.
tl;dr: Alias rm to mv before you regret it. -
When you stare at the task list and all you see is blockers cause your clients can't get their shite together.
... Fuck it , time to learn something. And charge some one to do it.1 -
Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):
Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!
Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.
Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.
The end.5 -
Fuck Threads and fuck multithreading in general.
I've spent the last 2 hours and a half looking for an important error that did my project not work at first execution, and it was all because I did start a side Thread, but forgot to wait until it was done before showing the output of it.
Fucking multithreading...3 -
Fuck you fucking Amazon Video!
Wanted to watch the second part of the Mr. Robot series finale, but Amazon Germany has only the first available.
Both parts aired yesterday evening on USA Today, so I'm ANGRY!
Luckily, there are other ways, so maybe it was a little "Hacker-Challenge"...
But still, with all episodes they could have flunked it has to be the finale!3 -
Working on an opencart eccommerce site I built in 2011... What the fuck was I doing?
Pushing the company to go for and upgrade / rebuild so I can clean it all up.
It was my first online shop AND my first opencart project... But even so... It's scary to look at. Works great, but the code layout is making me twitch.2 -
web dev is hell, really, how hard can it be to add a background-image to the body in a mobile.
seriously, I had it fixed, left bottomx no repeat and contain, just that! as simple as it can be (not really, it would be simple if it hadn't vas at all)
"it works great, but your page can only have one paragraph, more text than that and I will ignore your background in your phone" this is the css talking.
fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it! -
ok that's it, I hate Gmail security. If I don't have access to my phone I can't get on my account in order to recover my phone, fuck.
I have tried to disable all of the security but it's impossible3 -
It was fckin mythic for me, that friday deployments etc. So we got SRE for a while and he is working sometimes with us when we can't figure something out, and thats all, all the other devops stuff is up to us - precisely me. So our kubernetes cluster decided to fuck up and guess who is sitting on friday evening fixing this crap.
Shit.1 -
Why the fuck do I have to start an SSMS data import wizard all the way back to the beginning when it fails?1
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Spent all afternoon trying to make CI work for my own personal website, trying out a new concept, that I call Frontend only, it restores, builds, but fails to deploy with connection dropped after a few seconds... For all of the Gods and Saints of deployment please grant me stable connections, thanks
PS: you guys at cPanel Fuck You, thanks -
Fuck SSRS!
Fuck rsweb:ReportViewer!
Fuck MS Report Builder!
Fuck the people on the internet that made this all seem like it was feasible and easy!5 -
I just want to say FUCK AWS IoT. Honestly. Why the fuck would I spend hours configuring and building all that shit. Designing a gang programmer for my devices and setting up the toolchain would cost more than 6000 of the devices themselves not to mention it would take ages to set up a single device.3
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK LOOPBACK. Fuck it right in the dickhole. Fuck IBM for paying the salary on this piece of shit. Fuck all of the copy pasting I have to do, fuck the fact that it never knows what fields my type will or will not have, fuck the 4 different versions of the docs they have for each version of this dumpster fire of a framework. This is the dumbest codebase I have ever worked with, and I hate every minute of it. One last fuck, it is for the guys who came before me and chose this for our companies server. Fuck you!2
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Status meetings. Jesus, some people don’t understand the concept of “take your discussion offline”
Yeah, we get it. You have questions... we are not all wasting our time to fix your issues in one meeting.
“Take it the fuck offline” -
I had to write a js bpmn flow designer for a huge bpmn app on request and my crazy brain said fuck it I can do it in 2 months, let's just say I made my deadline with school and all. And it actually worked very well it needed only a bit of bugfixing when it hit QA.
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So can't get my games editor to resize the editor room size when you change the window size but can rescale the GUI layer perfectly fine... Fuck this shit, spent too long trying to render and resize using 2 layer so fuck it, all on the GUI baby!2
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fuck VBA, fuck retard business users, who think it's proper to use it in 2019....
fuck them all, with their "save money" shit, then expect old shit to work "like at google".... let's STOP USING SHITTY LEGACY TECH, JUST BECAUSE THE LEADERS ARE TOO INCOMPETENT AND NEVER INVOLVE TECHNICAL PEOPLE FOR SELECTING SOFTWARES / SOLUTIONS....
Go back to the 80s and give'em a terminal to work... I'd like to see those fuckasses in pain....3 -
I thought this cloud shit was supposed to be more affordable and easier to manage and so on so forth.
After all the drama in the last months we just finished moving all our shit to bare metal. The bill is half of what it used to be but now we have some 95%+ capacity in reserve and waaaay less time wasted on putting all services together. It feels just like getting in a 911 after 7 years spent in a fucking suzuki.
So fuck AWS, fuck Google cloud and even though I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole, fuck IBM and Azure too!6 -
Fuck auto insurance
Why is it that every time I need to get a quote online from an insurance company, despite having seemingly well designed websites they all fucking crash!
Half way through the “next” button will stop working for seemingly no reason and I won’t be able to continue with the quote.
Is it just a ploy to get me to call? WTF! -
Have I ever mentioned how much the Fritz Box 7490 sucks Ass?
Fuck and their 'OS' all it is is slow and keeps dying3 -
It is currently 5:30 AM, I've been trying to upgrade a server by one single major OS release for the last 3.5 hours. All major apps were no issue, except one.
Redmine.
That thing runs on Ruby.
Ruby, as it turns out, doesn't really like the way Debian handles package management.
And now, I have Redmine that, even if I completely uninstall / reinstall, won't start
I went down several rabbit holes, trying to operatively find what the issue is. But I never got to the key issue.
Fuck ruby. Fuck Redmine. Fuck nothing-saying error messages. Fuck bundle. Fuck gem. Fuck it all.
I'm redirecting the Redmine domain onto the server backup I've made. Upgrading that thing is a nightmare.
Maybe now I can finally go to bed...5 -
So I went thru all this trouble today just so I could get Live Captions on my OP6...
First impression.... It works better than on the Pixel 2 I bought a few months ago just so I could have it...
Second impression... Fuck Google...
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Fuck focused inbox on outlook. Who thought it was a good idea? Why dose every company think they should put algorithms on everything to decide what we want to see? I want all my emails not just want outlook thinks I want to see.... Im glad I switched to Thunderbird and only have to deal with it when my colleagues emails go "missing"5
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I realize I ended up in deep shit of pessimism. I think I started to lower my expectations for everything and now I am here. Help. It killed all my hope, or anything to look forward to. Fuck.
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Want to send an email? Sure thing, how about you configure first a DKIM, DMARC, SPF and some reverse DNS. Otherwise your mail can go fuck itself, because it won't even make it to the spam folder. Even if you do all these time consuming fuckwit tasks I might just mark your mail as spam. Because fuck you, that's why.
Sending mail to Gmail in a nutshell.2 -
I made an Android app that has Root permissions but when I upgraded from 9 to 10, the OS wouldn't allow it to be installed. All my ..... Just fuck and fill it out and non-root apps were fine though.
Anyone know when changed and how the new way of getting root is?2 -
Alright, week and a half long binge, and I'm finally out of weed. Sad.
But dude, I'm reading through stuff I wrote while high as fuck and it makes me giggle. Like, why. WHY would I say that and how did it even occur to me?
It's all both extremely idiotic and fascinating, 10/10 would blaze again.1 -
This place has fucking ducks everywhere. Duck is the new Cat here.
Why? What the fuck! If we want cuteness we should have images of http://rethinkrobotics.com/intera/ here. This cuteness will take over the world one day.
Probably, that's why! We'd all be sitting ducks. That's what this duck trend is signifying. Ah! I might see it now.
But, still! Fuck you duck 🦆!
2 -
Fuck you sophos. Fuck you hard. I moved a server to a new datacenter and it worked like a charm. Thank you windows and hyper-v. BUT! BUUUUUUT my fucking sophos worked like shit. Blocking everything by default? Yeah fuck you. Reconfigured everything. Still blocked and why? Forward “all“ doesnt mean forward all. Had to apply rules from port tcp 1 - 65335 and udp 1-65335. Nice you piece of fuck.2
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