FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

My parents recently got divorced and sold their house, so I had to go through all my old stuff and found this beauty! A pair of new bateries and it still work! Fuck Yeah!

#1

Fuck it. I obtained a Laravel codebase with 200 routes all handled by "mainController".

😓🔨

There will be rants.

Oddly enough, it's comforting to hear other devs mumble "mother fucker" or "what the fuck, you stupid piece of ass" when working on things.

It means I'm not alone and we can all suffer together 🤗

FBI: FUCK!! We just lost our connection to all those civilian routers we were monitoring
FBI IT Department: Did you try turning them off and back on?
FBI:

This fucking customer...
I've told that person so many times that they need to FIX THEIR CODE, because it get's pwned all the time.
To make stuff worse - they are still using Debian 5, and we are unable to upgrade because all their shit will break.

I found his fix today - he installed an old version of NGINX because it is "better".

No fuck you.

I'm a fucking finance girl. FINANCE. GIRL. Why the fuck am I spending all morning importing databases??
I'll tell you why.. "you are married to a dev. You must have picked something up." Fuck this. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. (no it's not working for the fuck of it, and whoever wrote this program deserves to be hanged by his balls from a tree)

“Ahh fuck it, no time for adding comments and I will remember how all of it works anyways.”

snapchat can piss off.

i sent a LINK. a LINK. in chat and it LOCKED MY ACCOUNT. it wasnt even a bad website. FFS IT WAS MY WEBSITE I MADE A FEW YEARS AGO.

ALL I DID WAS SEND IT IN CHAT.

NOT ONLY THAT, THIS HAPPEND THREE TIMES ALREADY.

FUCK OFF SNAPCHAT.

When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.

When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.

When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.

Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.

What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.

But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.

Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!

Fuck XML. Fuck it right up it's X with it's M, all the way to L.

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

FUCK!!! FUCK IT ALL. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY BULLSHT UNDOCUMENTED AND OUTDATED API.

YOUR DATABASE SERVER BACK-END HAS TO BE THE ONE MANAGING THE DISPLAY DATA FOR ITS WEB AND MOBILE CLIENTS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, DAMN IT.

I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE ALL DAY HARD-CODING ALL YOUR SERVER'S INADEQUACY.

MAKES ME WONDER DO YOU EVER USE DESIGN PATTERNS OR APPLY DESIGN PRINCIPLES? DRY AT LEAST? DON'T FUCKING REPEAT YOURSELF, DAMN IT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.

Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!

I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!

Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?

And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!

For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!

AARGH!

i hate the phrase "It's working but I don't know why". If you don't know how it works, it means it doesn't work at all and will fuck you up soon.

Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK WORDPRESS

Ty for your attention, that will be all. It is just annoying the hell out of me.

For those of you retards that post shit like:

"fuck"

"well I hate this"

or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.

Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.

Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.

Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.

FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me

S H I T !

Fuck ever working for a company that doesn't know shit about the worth of a developer ever again.
> be me
> just got my first class masters in Soft Eng that I worked hard as fuck to get
> get a job for a pretty well known medical company here
> offered a bit less than what I was expecting but fuck it, it's a job straight out of uni doing what I want to do
> fuckitwhynot.mp4
> stay for a year with no bonus programme, no pay review, no objectives, no perks, literally fuck all
> see literally every other position in the company be promoted and actually supported from IT & the developers
> feelsBoomerMan.jpg
> get the hail mary recruiter "you'd be great for this role" linked in DM
> follow it through and go to the interview
> nailed it
> comes to negotiating a starting salary and they actually laugh at my current rate and immediately raise it by about 30% with bonuses, reviews and all that shit occurring regularly
> later virgins

Trash, trash, trash.
Who the fuck writes this shit?

Who the fuck lets these trash should-be-junior devs roll their own crypto? and then approves it?

The garbage heap of a feature (signing for all apis) doesn't follow Ruby standards, doesn't follow codebase conventions, has `// this is bridge` style comments (and no documentation), and it requires consumer devs to do unnecessary work to integrate it, and on top of all this: it leaks end-user data. on all apis. in plaintext.

Fucking hell.

FUCK WEB3, FUCK CRYPTO, FUCK NFTS, FUCK ALL THIS PONZI ASS BIG BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THJS!!!! THE ONLY ONES WHO PROFIT ARE NOT THE ONES WHO BUY CRYPTO OR JPEGS BUT THE ONES ON TOP OF THIS PYRAMID WHO CREATED IT!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL CODE MY OWN PYRAMID COIN/JPEG AND SELL IT TO SUCKERS!!!!!!!! FCKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I pretty much deleted 90% of the project I'm working on and pulled two all nighters to reimplement the features differently because it didn't feel "good enough"... fuck this neverending "I can do better" feeling 😭😭

Get this, at college we were told to use PHP7 for development right? All good, PHP7 is awesome and all, so we have to make a big project for college and put it on the school's server... now here's the pickle...

THEIR SERVER RUNS FUCKING PHP5.X

WTF!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DON'T FUCKING TELL US WE SHOULD USE PHP7 AND THEN DON'T SUPPORT PHP7 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK PRINTERS

WERE ALL PRINTERS DESIGNED BY INCOMPETENT MONKEYS WHO HAVEN'T EVER TOUCHED AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER IN THEIR LIVES?!

WERE THEY PAID SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE SURE THEY WOULD NEVER WORK WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO?!?

IT REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING PAIN TO DO A GODDAMN SIMPLE THING LIKE PRINT A BLACK AND WHITE JPEG!

I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, JUST A FUCKING EVEN HALFWAY FUNCTIONAL MACHINE THAT DOES AS ADVERTISED AND DOESN'T REQUIRE SACRIFICING A GOAT TO CONNECT TO

FUCK ALL PRINTERS EVERYWHERE

Fuck Firefox's CSS engine! Why is it so fucking buggy?

I needed to position some elements in a circle, so I used Math.cos(Math.PI / 2) to calculate their x positions. So, mathematically speaking, that should return 0, right? Turns out in JS it doesn't (because fuck precision). It actually returns 6.123233995736766e-17 and I was using that in the style, like top: offset + that.

In chrome it was working perfectly, but in Firefox all hell broke loose. All animations stopped working, scripts stopped working, demons were eating people alive.

And I lost hours hunting that down. My fault because I should have tested it immediately on other browsers, but fuck!

I say it with all of my heart:
FUCK YOU google analytics spammers!

Wouldn't it be amazing if Linus Torvalds just say "fuck it, fuck this controversy, fuck the CoC and all the self righteous dumbass people infecting my community!"

And just forks Linux to start a new OS? Would you support him? I bet he would have huge independent support, hell I'm poor and even I'd donate.

Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.

Okay I'm done now.

After fresh windows install: Fuck, now to install everything I need and all the updates over the next few hours

After fresh Mac install: oh god I hope it worked...

After fresh Linux install: sudo apt upgrade and done!

I know this is probably gonna be unpopular but whatever; fuck vim, fuck emacs! A text editor should by default take in standard accepted characters and command form the keyboard without being all hipster "I'm so niche and alternative" about it. You are a text editor so let me enter teeeeeexxxxt!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! $£^$%^^$%

Gitlab's CI/CD, Jenkins, TeamCity, Travis, Bamboo,.....

Fuck it, I'm too lazy to learn them all to pick the best choice for my case.

Meet 'pipeline.bash'

Perfect!

FUCK THE EU!

Ok I said it, what? Someone had too.

Can we all move on now?

Ps: if you made it this far, be sure to ++ for your angers and frustrations over the current articles we all know and hate.

1.
!dev

Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.

2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.

3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.

4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢

5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭

Why the fucking fuck is it so damn hard for me to draw a fucking curly bracket?!

All my sad attempts at it look like a 3 that was exposed to lethal amounts of nuclear radiation

Here is the problem.

We all make mistakes. It's part of our lives and we learn a lot from it.

But you motherfucker, acting like an all-knowing being amongst all the developers. You think no one knows better than you. You learned something 2 years ago and you think nothing has been updated after that.

You make a mistake, you accept it and learn from it. But if you think you know everything, stop asking me to review your code. Fuck you, cocksucker.

Fuck Apple even more than before. Keep all your proprietary garbage, I don't need any of it.

🤘 😈😈😹 🤘
Wordpress documentation...
"
Hi all, 😎 welcome to wordpress.
Use it as your last resort. Fuck all programming langs. Php is love, php is life."

Oh by the way documentation also says:
"
Wordpress gives you all the freedom you can imagine. Say for instance... You can use any language for server EXCEPT python, ruby, java, c# and many more.[note: Keep looking for the updated list of EXCEPT as new languages come we add it here.]
"
😂😂😂

I did it. I completely broke windows by plugging in my laptop charger.
The colors in this image have not been distorted at all.
Fuck this OS, royally.

Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.

When it's dark outside all the time and the sun suddenly comes around.

Everyone's going crazy about it and walking outside.

Me: FUCK. How am I supposed to read my freakin code like that?!

*Me standing up and closing the shutter*

Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*

It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.

My current company decided to do all automation in node.js.
Crawling, new projects, processes, all of it in Node.

Fuck my life.

Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,

Still fail to see why people give a fuck if you're self taught or have a degree. (By people I mean other developers, not employers.)

Why does it matter? Trick question: it doesn't matter. All that matters is their code.

And fun fact: both educated and self taught people can write shitty code.

Idk it just seems like unnecessary division in a group of people that all do the same fucking thing: program.

"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"

HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.

STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK

SORRY JUST NEED TO RANT.....

JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE/WEBCHAT WITH SHITTY HR BLOCK CUZ THEIR SHITTY PAID SOFTWARE IS BUILT WITHOUT THE USER IN MIND AND NOW EFILED MY TAXES INCORRECTLY...

THEY CANT FIX IT SINCE ITS ALREQDY SENT TO THE IRS....

I SPENT 2 HOURS TRYING TO CONTACT A HUMAN BECAUSE THEIR WEBCHAT IS SUPER HIDDEN ON THEIR SHITTILY BUILT SITE THAT HIDES IT UNTIL I HAVE TO CALL THEIR PHONE NUMBER AND THE GUY WALKS ME THROUGH SOME SPECIFIC STEPS TO GET IT TO SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!

THEN WEBCHAT GUY ASKS FOR ALL MY INFO BUT THEN CONCLUDES THAT I NEED TO CALL THE IRS MYSELF BECAUSE THEIR SHITTY SOFTWARE ALREADY SENT THE INFO.... THE WRONG INFO....

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I OWE THE GOVERMENT $2500..... ALL THIS JUST TO PAY PPL MONEY.... FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK....

AND THERE GOES MY WHOLE NIGHT.....

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB

if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK

After concepting my game for years and having no real success bringing it to a playable medium, I've decided, fuck it, lets write a book.

I came up with too much lore and backstory for all the character's to go to waste!

WHY THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING FUCK! DO I HAVE TO WAIT 3 FUCKING DAYS TO GET A FUCKING VIDEO RENDERED! i didnt buy a new fucking 2080TI for this! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE CPU RENDER THE FUCKING VIDEO!
I mean, we can do fucking REAL TIME RAY-TRACING! And yet, no fucking idiot came to the Idea, "hmm we could let the GPU its intended purpose and dont use the CPU that much." I MEAN, IT HAPPENED, BUT FUCK IT! FUCK ALL OF THIS! FUCKING 74 HOURS!! FOR AN HOUR CLIP!
(Its 4K tho)
Fuck.

Fucking Apple products fuck xcode fuck all ishit!
Wrapped my views in a UIStackView in storyboard designer and xcode gave it a width of 8,000,000 and height of 3,000,000

3 hours making this beautiful circuit to test stepper motors.
Arduino nano + L293D + pot
Fucking bitch has a short circuit somewhere and can't find it out...
Made the same project in a breadboard in 15 minutes and it's working.
Fuck hardware bugs.
Cutted in the middle of all connections, took out excess solder... Nothing.
Fuck it, moving to the next ideia

Fuck this shit, fuck it, take it down, smash it with a rock and fuck it. Fucking 18th century system where we are graded for a 2 hour work after 6 months of learning. Fuck the idiots who think reading from a piece of paper will teach us something. Fuck the sheep who follow without looking aside. Fuck the asshole who initiated it all, and fuck this shit. Thank you.

Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.

Fuck Cypress. It’s a fucking goddamn pile of diseased garbage. Its design decisions actively fight against you, its methods don’t work, it’s unreliable as fuck, and it intentionally keeps stale state so your tests fuck with one another — and that even fucks up its own interface so nothing fucking works.

It’s like stepping into the shower and expecting clean water, but instead it’s just some obese guy with diarrhea shitting in your hair, and then getting all indignant that you’re upset about it.

If you consider using Cypress for something, find another project.

So, I'm a Portuguese dude. I have my OS's in English language and Portuguese keyboard. Today, I spent 30 min raging at my computer because I couldn't login. I tried like all my 865725428 passwords (fake number, in case u don't get it) and still couldn't access it. Then I fucking looked and remembered Windows is an asshole and changed my keyboard input to English, so all my symbols were changed. Fuck you Windows, Linux never did this to me. Y the fuck would u? Do u like to fucking make me waste my precious time? Go and fuck yourself with a 35'' CAT-5E cable you prick.

Fuck EA and its fucking launcher. Your broken piece of shit software doesn't even launch. I even tried reinstalling but that garbage won't launch. Fuck you EA and all of your bad practises. Wrap that launcher and shove it to your ass.

Alright, i'm fucking done.

Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.

Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."

Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."

Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."

Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."

when did Linux go to shit?

Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.

Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"

Fuck it.

I'm installing DOS.

I hate when people don't capitalize ID in all caps. It is confusing when the write it as Id or id, because I don't know if they're talking about an identifier or the aspect of human nature that exists from birth that subconsciously drives you to want to fuck your mother.

As someone who learns everything alone , researching and all it really frustrates the fuck out of me to have to babysit grown ass adults into learning anything.

FUCK ME!!

For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!

The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!

The best fucking commenter ever hahahahahahahaha

FUCK ALL THOSE MONKEYS THAT WROTE ALL THE SHITTY CODE WHICH I'VE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF MY DAYS HAVING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SHIT IT DOES AND WHY I CAN'T JUST BURN IT....

AND WHY THE FUCK DO BUSINESS USERS SEEM TO THINK THAT DEVELOPERS CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THEIR BUSINESS TALK...

IF I UNDERSTAND ALL OF WHAT YOU DO, YOU WILL BE OUT OF A JOB....

P.S. APPARENTLY ONE OF MY MEDS SIDE EFFECTS ARE INCREASED IRRATIBILTY. THE SLIGHTEST ANNOYANCES NOW PISS ME OFF...

SO APPARENTLY THAT MEANS I HAVE A FREE LICENSE TO BLOW UP N RANT ON THE JOB RIGHT?

... 🖕

Really Microsoft really you're going to make me upgrade to the new fucking shitty version of Skype. Just let me keep it how it is and fuck right off. I already deal with all your shit in Windows.

Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!

So, CS student here.
Gave TCS "national" level test.
Quoting from the question:
"if you have 3 bytes of memory, it can be used to represent 2^3=8 values in the memory"

This test is a waste of at least 30000+ human hours and these guys didn't even put 24 hours of effort to make sure questions are correct.
Fuck this fucking IT industry.
Fuck the people who designed this testing process.
Fuck the people who endorsed this process.
Fuck the management for passing it as a test.
The people who wrote the test question can go die in hell.
It's not my problem that their mothers fucked Neanderthals.

Uh! All I want is a job but ended up wasting 200+ hours of time.

Why the fuck is this site blocked. How the fuck is it remotely adult content? ITS A GODDAMN WEBGL GAME. And you blocked is as being EDUCATIONAL. WHY THE FUCK WOULD MY SCOOL BAN A GODDAMN EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE?

P.S. for all those that know me, i made a website a year ago, during english class, and it got blocked at school (my goal was to get it blocked). Or so I thought. It turns out it didn't get blocked at my school, it was blocked across the whole county! I feel accomplished.

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

1) That loud ass mother fucker sitting besides me, shut the fuck up.

2) Air motherfucking condition turned all the way to the max makes me horny and want to fuck your motherboard.

3) Illiterate assholes writing code without any comments and half assed function name just to look cool when we approach them for doubts.

4) Onsite motherfuckers enjoying their lives, taking photos of it and posting it in a monthly magazine while we s(h)it behind the fucking systems all day.

Thank-fucking-you, y'all can die suffocating in your own smelly dierraea poop.

Fuck insomnia. Fuck it right in its overly alert, not at all tired face. Could I just for one night actually sleep and not wake up 2 hours later? Please?!

Motherfuck! God I hate xcode worst development environment ever conceived! Have to update it right now to be able to push to my device. Fucking appstore is the worst program ever. How about telling your users what the fuck is going on instead of just sitting there displaying a flash load circle. Gaaaaaahhh I wanted to go home 2 hours ago. Fuck you apple and all you stand for may you rot in the deepest crevices of he'll for all eternity! Fuuuuuck

You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL

I'm having that feeling right about now...

Oh fuck.... someone in my group decided to write a script and place it on boot of the system.

As soon as I turn on the system , a script was automatically running in the background which override all rows in all tables of the database that's says "I fucking quit"

As a freelancer, I witness shit like this all the time.

To all the people who constantly complain about devRant not being good enough…

First off, who the fuck cares? I mean honestly, does anyone give a fuck? People have been saying for YEARS that they hate devrant and that it needs to change in whatever fucked up dev idea way that we all think the world should actually work. The real fun is how this platform evolves into different phases over time. The fun is interacting with devs anonymously talking about really anything. It doesn’t matter - as long as it’s interesting or entertaining it’s fine. Don’t fucking pretend that you are a goddamn professional elitist asshole bc we all know everyone here is weird and stupid.

TLDR: Scope creep.

Fuck it! I hate scope creep! 2 days before the deadline is due, slip in a little scope creep to bolster your already ambiguous as fuck scope! Of course, more fool me for taking on a project with a scope as ambiguous as this one. Or for accepting the 'just do x and y and your done' as gospel. But then again I enjoy paying my bills and you know, eating from time to time!

Fuck 'em! Fuck Clients! Fuck Scope Creep! Fuck Ambiguity to it's very Fucking core! Fuck it! Fuck me! Fuck code! I'm venturing under my table for a little cry and a sulk, then back at the god-damned grindstone to finish the project and all it's creepy scopy bits before the deadline tomorrow! FUCK!

My fucking work challenges:
1. "Talk to this thing over the internet" what language does it speak? Fuck knows
2. "Make sure all the files are correct in the server" Our server plan only allows 3 requests per second, and someone is pinging it. Can't do shit.
3. "Shit broke!" You broke it. It was working fine. In fact, all our problems stem from that 1 thing you broke!
4. "Stay here all night" The hallway to the bathroom's door is locked. I can go to my workstation but have to go outside to get to the bathroom!

Fuck, its like you don't want me to succeed

Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.

Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.

Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.

My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.

For now I'm planning to focus on art.

Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.

*Me starving all the week to lose weight:
Lost 3.5~4 Kg

*Me eating as always during my pause day
Won: 2 Kg

Fuck, this shit does not work, it is like Javascript.

porra; caralho; toma no cu.

this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.

srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me

first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.

cleaned 35 gbs.

finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.

ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.

tried downloading the updated Android version.

it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!

Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.

unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.

I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML

Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.

I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.

did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.

I'm fucking losing my mind here.

In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!

FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...

Fucking long week at work.. but its not all bad. Facebook stock tanking makes up for it. Bahaha fuck em

fuck iText.
fuck Aspose.
fuck Adobe.
fuck PDFs.

It will be all too soon if I never have anything to do with programming an app to do PDF generation/manipulation ever again.

Fuck academics! End semester exams are ucking waste of time ! Just need to study one night before and on exam ay 'vomit' all my memory onto the paper. Fuck it. I AM done.

FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WINDOWS, WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TASK BAR DOES NOT HIDE AUTOMATICALLY, EVEN WHEN IT WAS WORKING? I GO TO SETTINGS TO TURN IT OFF AND BACK AGAIN AND NOTHING HAPPENS. RESTART AND A GOD DAMN UPDATE STARTS.

devRant, lets face it.. our tags here suck just as hard as our commit messages. Fuck us all!

Can't say fuck off to all the guys saying good morning when you arrive in office. Nobody really means it. It gets irritating some times. :(

Fuck it all!

Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.

Fuck
Human
Resources

Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.

Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.

I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.

All of a sudden the Macbook Pro power adapter was broken yesterday. Guess how much does it cost just to replace it?

Fuck you Apple. If you're gonna overprice, it make it durable and good quality dammit.

All the articles about javascript fatigue lately. Omg just shut the fuck up already. Being a developer is hard, deal with it

So i just quit legally gotten GTA5, and i quit it with a thought of "fuck this unplayable shit, i'm gonna uninstall it to make space for illegal cracked version, because that one actually runs in playable manner".

I'm sorry, but i'm not sorry. Fuck all of the anticrack crap that makes it choke for half a second every 10 seconds.

!dev

Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.

Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.

At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃

You know what really grinds my gears? HTML.

Specifically the fact that browsers report no errors at all when it comes to HTML. They just try their best to render what they're given and if you get unexpected results? Fuck you.

NPM has this cool feature called "link" which allows you to easily link local npm packages as dependencies of other local packages for developement. It's so cool in fact that everything you run npm install it deletes all your links for fuck all reason

Don't understand why people diss Windows all the time. It has become so intelligent now that it can sense when you're onto something urgent and important... and then fuck you right in the ass by initiating updates.

Fuck NameCheap.

They will show you a domain is on sale, make you contact support to buy it, tell you "oh sorry it's your browser cache's fault, please restart your browser" and then JACK UP THE PRICE 10x.

Royally fuck you. This shit should be illegal. If I thought it would solve anything I'd contact ICANN.

God I fucking hate this industry. It's all a fucking scam.

Why the fuck do some companies make it seem like you need them more than they need you? Also, what the fuck is with organizations who antagonize you when you make a small mistake? Do all of the good things we've done get thrown under the bus because of one mistake???? Fucking corporations!!!!!!!

I never used to lie. Unless it was absolutely necessary which was very rare.

But now, I can lie so easily.

It all started with those fake sick emails after entering coroorate. And now I have become a lying bastard.

I don’t like myself when I lie but the necessities have become frequent in corporate.

Fuck corporate man!

Fuck it with porcupine quills!

Razer, Corsair, Das Keyboard, all ignore ISO 9995, and it drives me fucking nuts! The fucking backslash goes UNDER the fucking pipe!
This shit will fuck people up.

some genius modafaka thought REPLACING python3.6 by 3.7 in all the dev machines is gonna be fine... the whole team is going nuts... fuck you IT... who gave you the permission

Common misconception is that low efficiency technologies (react native, in this case) are completely useless. That is not true at all. Im building a smart home, and yes i want a mobile app, but 90% is just requests to endpoints, so its way simpler to just copy paste some buttons inside a js file than do it properly with native. Would i use it in prod? Fuck no. Would i hack together a bunch of buttons? Fuck yes.

This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?

Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.

FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.

fuck google! fuck the people updating the android OS! fuck android!

first you guys removed the feature to connect wifi using WPS and then promised to bring it back but instead brought a completely different feature

then you make all the clipboard manager apps obsolete. only keyboard apps can be clipboard manager otherwise the rest of them are screwed.

app needs my location permission just so that it can turn on my wifi! wtf!

app needs bluetooth, wifi & location just so that it can send data from one device to another device offline? why bluetooth? are we going back to 1970s?

fuck you google! fuck android!

I really wish some other companies fork it and removes all the clutters and makes it better.

Fuck you windows 10. Fuck you private keys. Fuck you tortoise git. Fuck you git bash. Fuck you cygwin. Want 3x hours of my life back. Had an auth problem... Had to reinstall all the above on windows to connect to my private repo. Took me 5 minutes to connect after reinstalling all the tools. Grrrrrrr. And I'll never know why it wouldn't connect apart from fatal protocol error: bad line length character..I tried ever stack overflow answer... I nearly bricked my gitlab CE...and it was windows being a motherslut

Jesus goddamn Christ, fuck all the poorly designed UX. I wish there was an API for everything, it would make everyone's lifes way more pleasant

Me: "Sweet new Xcode update"
Me: "I'm sure they fixed all the bugs"
*starts download*
Xcode: "Want to upgrade to the latest Swift syntax?"
Me:
*clicks yes*
Me:
Me: "Fuck it, next release is 'fully rewritten from the ground up'"

I was hating on Postman for 10 minutes straight...
and then I found out it was me all along.

Turns out, it's an advantage if you actually select the proper environment before sending a request.
fuck me... coffee! ☕

fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.

Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA

web technologies rot your brain into a festering deadly biohazard mush. web technologies are the worst thing that ever happened to this world. fucking festering web shitosystem fuck this disgusting stupid fragile opaque bloated universe-sized chunk of retarded pukeshit.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUCKING GAMES, NOT HAVE MY BRAIN AND SOUL CONSTANTLY ROTTED BY THIS FUCKIN MONUMENT TO UTTER RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED HUMAN INCOMPETENCE FUCK YOU ALL FUCK ALL THIS SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK DISGUSTING FUCKIN MINDRAPE PEDOPHILIACS SHOULD STOP FUCKING "INVENTING" SHITPOOLS.

WHEN
THE
FUCK
WILL
SOMEONE
COMPETENT
BE
THE
INVENTOR
OF
SOME
PIECE
OF
IT.

whoever were the rapists who "invented" php, js, html, css, SQL, and all the bullshit about how it's supposed to be configured and communicate with each other should have died of starvation in a fuckin ditch while being raped by squirrels... before they managed to "invent" any of that disgusting shit.

fuck you with your fuckin linux bullshit philosophy which keeps rotting all your brains thinking that this is fine and it can be fixed just by piling more and more layers of fucking shit on top of all this shit.

FUCK.
YOU.
ALL.

I COULDNT GET THE WIFI TO WORK, THAT WAS ALL, AND NOW THIS SHIT fuck it all I'm going to bed then waking up and switching to an Outdoor Leadership degree.

Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!

Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!

It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I

I'm so done with all the covid talk.
Its all that's ever talked about and you don't get a break.

As if it wasn't bad enough to have that one friend who constantly has to remind everyone how politically educated he is, and how much he hates the neo[whatever the fuck], now he has to remind everyone about his opinions on the vaccine.

No one fucking asked, shut the fuck up.
Your opinions do not matter.

FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT

I hate it when the college gives priority to project report than project. I fucking hate it. Line spacing, fancy borders, font size, institutional logo, who the fuck cares? All I care is what work is going on and what have we learnt from it. Fuck these faggots. For the past week I am more of a typist than an engineering student.

I got even angrier when the evaluators did not even open and go through the report.

for i in range(sys.maxsize()):
print(“fuck”)

!dev

Theres atleast one fucking bastard that writes comments like "2018?" "2018???", "september 2018?", "still listening in 2019??" in every fucking song video in youtube. Fuck you braindead useless pile of shits! Yes its fucking 2018 and why the fuck you just write it there?? Why the fuck somebody even cares and likes that kind of trash comments?!? Fuck you bunch of wasted human cells. I want to kill all of those fucking fuckwits. STOP FUCKING COMMENTING DateTime.Now.Year IN EVERY FUCKING SONG YOU MOTHERFUCKER CUNTS!

!dev

I fucking hate how when an (musical) artist dies, all of a sudden everyone is a fucking fan of them.

First it was Lil peep, then it was fucking Xtension cord dude, then Mac Miller and now Nippsey.

Like ik damn well all the people I am friends with saying "rip Nippsey" have heard like 2 songs from him and listened to them twice.

But now that he's dead you're acting like you bumped his shit all day & everyday? Fuck off man.

Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.

Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.

On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.

Disassembled everything and took another look.

😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"

*Scratche it with tweezers

*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves

😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?

What the heck

New macbook pro has no usb ports , that's apple way of saying "fuck all developers" . That is such a dick move , also the shitty butterfly keyboard i don't know if any developer will like it , any thoughts?

Anyone else fucking pissed off by all the shit saying "Learn to Code in 21 Days".

You don't see anyone trying to become a doctor in 21 days so why the fuck do people think our work is so easy that any fucking asshole can do it in 21 days.

Fuck this whole fucking stupid world...

The cordova-windows platform setup is such a fucking shitfest. Even after installing everything, setting all sorts of env variables it still failed to properly run.

Thank fuck there's cordova-electron, so I don't have to fuck around with that anymore and can also just have the desktop be done, without having to seperate across different desktop platforms either.

YOU CAN'T, POSSIBLY, BE SERIOUS WITH ME! FUCK, FUCK IT ALL!

THOSE DAMN ENGINEERS WITH A DEGREE AND ALL CAN'T PUT A FUCKING IF IN THE DAMN CODE!

I'M RESTARTING THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE! FUCK! UPDATE THIS SHIT WHEN I HIT THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON AT LEAST!

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

Decided to make an edit of my avatar so that I could have an avatar that was a bit more accurate, and it looked nice and all in Photoshop. But then I exported it and fuck this

Fuck...
I'm not getting that job then.

So I just had one of those interview coding tests on hacker rank and screwed it up big time.

I'm a C# guy and it was a Java position. I worked with Java, like 10 years ago, and they're pretty similar so I brushed up over the last week when I had free time.

Absolutely blew it. It's not like it was hard, I just got into one question (of 6) and it ate up all of my time. The task was simple, make a JSON call, read the data, check if you need more calls, pull out a data field from all the concatenated results and return it in a sorted list. ONE HOUR it took me. A combination of not knowing the API well enough, simple syntax errors and relatively slow compilation.

Godammit.

The next question was implement an Object hierarchy but since I'd run out of time, all I got was the class declarations before the timer ran out.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

I guess the test did it's job and weeded out someone who can't contribute to the team...

Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.

Fuck CORS.
Three hours into trying to make it fucking work... YES BROWSER I ALLOWED ALL ORIGINS WHY DONT YOU WORK 😭😭

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

It is so comforting when senior senior senior engineers also tell you they have no idea why a fucking test spec occasionally fails. Literally, the spec is fine and all but sometimes, it just decides to say fuck off.

wtf!! That stupid piece of @#$@#$, how does it even work for anybody. EVER. Bundle it in a container, make sure it's ephemeral. Yerterday it worked, and today it fucking does whatever it wants@!!! That fuking fucktard piece of shit!!

Fuck it. Fuck all of it.

It must be a fault in my RAM or something. I mean, nothing has changed since yesterday. I could run the appp in the container yžday ez, and today -- it gives me a finger, completely ignoring my parameters!! Asshole!!!!

Aws Lambda and serverless framework. Yes FaaS is cool. Love it. But it is pain in ass when you have the only way for you deploy is zip the fucking code with all the dependencies. Comm'on AWS you can do better. Look at azure functions. Please give me a git deployment support. Please I beg. Each test iteration takes like for ever. Also no proper local emulator. Fuck you AWS. Fuck you serverless.

All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.

FUCK IEEE 754.
I've always thought that javascript's problem with floating points was just a good anecdote, but it couldn't have serious consequences in real life programming.

Until I've been stuck half an hour with a bug just because (2.8-0.8)%2 was falsy! FUCK, why don't decide to switch to a decent codification of numbers? Fuck them and fuck all programming languages like this

One will seldom hear me completely shit about a piece of technology.

But my time has come to do it again:

Fuck RedHat man. Like, really, fuck you. Fedora is fine. Centos is fine. Fuck red hat.

That is all. Thank you.

I love it when a friend calls for help... i really do. But why the fuck it's all about hacking someone's account.

Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.

Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.

Man I am sick and tired of developers (I was about to put that in quotes, but it's mean), acting "cool" all the time. Like let me just put it out there, WTF is dAy iN tHE LiFE oF A sOftWaRe deVELoper.

Get the fuck out here. All you do is eat, walk, eat, chat, laugh and fuck around all day, with no work being done. And I'm supposed to respect you. Educate these young and fresh developers on what it is really like, rather than teasing them with the ideal life they think it is.

So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.

People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development

What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.

Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.

For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!

holy fuck, UFOs are now moving to the "mainstream discourse"?????

yes, just like AI, world's ending, all the jobs are gone!!!

just like covid (remember that one?) world's over, we all died!

let me repeat it for you:

shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up

what the fuck went wrong with the vast majority of people along the way????

i'm going to the mountains, i'll be back...

never

inb4 "have some creativity fullstackclown!" "isn't it cool to think about?!"

shut up, using your fucking head that is a result of millions of years of evolution seems much more exciting than taking 4 grainy ass videos as truth and getting hyped up about it

show me a shred of valid evidence and i'll believe. however, evidence does NOT include:

- some big wig CLAIMING or SAYING they exist, regardless of their credentials - i don't care if fucking honest abe lincoln himself rises from the grave and says UFOs are real
- a photo or video that looks like it was taken in the 1920s

FUCK YOU SYNOLOGY

Fuck you for breaking all my custom shit.
Fuck you for wiping almost everything (but leaving random stuff) every major update.
Fuck you for switching from upstart to systemd 219 (RELEASED MARCH 2015!).
Fuck you for using an outdated kernel.
Fuck you for having the weirdest shittiest preconfigured settings.
Fuck you for using your own custom package format.
Fuck you for being so utterly broken.
Fuck you for making me work 10 hours just to get everything back up and running the way it was.

Fuck you from the bottom of my heart

Maybe it's just cause I fucking hate the elitism in the engineering college and every engineer I've met, but why do devs want to be called engineers? I'm a programmer, a developer, a coder, fucking anything rather than an engineer.
I associate that word with know-nothing "book-smart" fuckwads who think they're better than everyone, even someone doing the same thing without their useless degree.

Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO

Fuck it all

Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.

Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.

2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.

3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.

4.install linux subsystem.

5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.

6.party all night (code)

If something is free, doesn't make it the best, it is like saying virtual box is better than VMware because it is free, all I can say is that virtual box is a bitch and VMware is a sexy house wife .....bitches fuck with everyone every with discount....
Good morning peeps

Fuck you, Google and your million goddamn captchas. One after fucking another, they just keep fucking coming and I can't get to whatever the fucking fuck it is I'm doing. Fuck you. I hope your children all get cancer.

And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....

It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...

COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices

COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.

COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction

Microsoft :

"YOLO All Devops pipeline are now .net 8"

Me, lunching PROD release : "Whatever, I don't use any advanced shit"

Pipeline : "Can't connect to your nuget soure (private) : 401"

Me : What ? You just connected to it in prevous step in pipeline !

Azure : Yah, but prev st ep was using different syntax so it worked

Me : Ok, here you go, same syntax

Azure : Still nop.
Me : WHY ?!!!
Azure : I won't tell you. 401 !!

Me : Fuck you, I 'll rewrite this step from scrath !
30 mins later

Azure : Naaaan, stil 401.
Me : HOW ?!!! You literally use this nuget feed in 2 prev steps with no issues.
Azure : Fuck you
Me : fuck you too.
15 mins later
me to me... Hmm, I've already restored all packages. They "should" stay where they are..
Me : Take that azure : Ignore restoring for this step"
Azure : Oh yeah, that works ! All compiled !

WTF ?!!!! And why they release cha ges without even sending a mail. because fuck us apparently.

God I hate devops....

Fuck whoever is responsible for the backup and restore features of ADB. Luckily I had a backup in a different format, but if it was up to ADB's shittyness I would've lost all my data.

Working 40 hours per week while doing freelancer stuff and now a fking masters degree due september this year. How do you guys manage it? I dont know if I could do it all... Fuck it

Grab app notifications system sucks to the max. Actually the whole Grab app sucks when it compared to Uber.

But fucking Uber is expensive and high and all mighty. They are like hey our app is the best, so use if you want or fuck off.

Grab. They are not expensive and they do shit tons of promotions and gives much more coupons. But all the news are sent to that buggy NOTIFICATIONS page and that fucking page is buggy as shit.

I wonder that they are doing it intentionally. Hey give lots of promotions. Just make it hard as fuck for people to access and use it.

What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!

I started programming on a new POS machine and I noticed that sometimes it reboots randomly. The boss and the assistance said that it's a well known bug and happened also in all old machines. Ah.... Ok.
And that shit costs a lot and it's stupid as fuck. Really? How the fuck is it possible? Sometimes I think that if I put a cardreader and a printer in a 50$ android phone I would save a lot of time

Fuck Android Studio and Gradle!
Especially Gradle, you fucking slow RAM consuming shit!

It consumed like all of my RAM and my computer is lagging like shit

It can't even import my SVG!

Because of frustration I accidentally hard reset my local git repo and lost 3 hours of work!

When your CSE partner always overrides your perfect self committing code like lastItem, rightFrontItem and just renames them all to x, n, and z. Now it looks like shit and can't understand it as easy! I guess fuck giving variables meaningful names! Lets just make chaos in a world of order.

For fuck's sake, why do so many engineering professors use Comic Sans in their power points and documents?!? These are incredibly intelligent people, so how can they be so ignorant? We all have to suffer as a result... Honestly, has nobody ever had the balls to tell them to change their fucking font because it is ugly as sin, hurts the eyes, and is super childish? Fuck all those people who insist on using Comic Sans. You all deserve to spend time burning in hell for your cruelty. Better yet - sir who invented Comic Sans: go fuck yourself and burn in hell.

Why printer services is stuck in time?

The windows printer spooler is old like my grandma. He fuck all the time but nobody wants to recode it ? I need to search for old driver a day long to make it fucking work at 10%

On linux generic printer driver do the job but cannot do all the things you want

Why is so fucking complicated all the time ? ( Don't think that scanner work you don't have de correct driver )

Solutions printer share the code for how de fuck i work ?

Devrant Community: Why is the user base shrinking?

Also Devrant Community: Fuck you green dot! You are the scum of the world. Fuck your mom, fuck your asshole with a giant npm download. If I could zip bomb all of your devices I would. We need a green dot genocide!

PS: It is not that I disagree with our welcoming committee. It is more of an observation. I am pretty sure I participated in this behavior.

Fuck reuse, we should all take our repeatable code and manually repeat it everywhere it's needed so when we have to make a change we have to make sure we remember to change it in all the places and take hours to do a one line change.

...Also...fuck source control...

And they say I don't have fucks to give.

Someone please tell me why react sees if(x = y) as valid js. That typo basically broke my app for 3 weeks and I didn't figure it out untill now. It set all my states to the same value. Fuck me 😑

Final year of my diploma in Information Tech, I overhear a coursemate, well-known know-it-all, explaining what Javascript is:
"It's somewhat like Java but it's used for scripting purposes."
I swear to the Lord Almighty, I wish I could drive my palm through my face.

!rant

How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!

Today was:

Fuck it, this API makes no sense I'm tired of trying to make sense of it...

-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-
-clickity-

OMG this makes more sense, why didn't I do this at first?

My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence

It's been a while since I've said it -

FUCK AI
FUCK ChatGPT o1 whatever the fuck model is it
FUCK Sam Altman

and most of all FUCK all of those extreme leftists. Don't ask me why. Just fuck them.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

Yay Google + leaked info!!
New old news again :P

Come on people if you want something to be safe you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT send it to someone else's computer. That's it. Fuck firewalls fuck av fuck it all.

ok I'll say it once again -

Fuck Devin, Fuck Sora, Fuck OpenAI, Fuck ChatGPT and fuck the worst of all, Microsoft.

!rant; story(well, kinda)

I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");

So I've mentioned before that I'm pretty much the sole programmer for my robotics team. I'm on vacation for a week, and the other programmer has to take over.

Is it normal that, since I made the code work and wrote it almost all myself, I am fearful that she's gonna fuck it all up? I kind of want her to work on it slowly so I don't worry too much...

It is officially fuck off on Friday!

So, fuck you all, and have a great weekend!