Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "junk in == junk out"
I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.7
More sysadmin focused but y’all get this stuff and I need a rant.
TLDR: Got the wrong internship.
Start working as a sysadmin/dev intern/man-of-many-hats at a small finance company (I’m still in school). Day 1: “Oh new IT guy? Just grab a PC from an empty cubicle and here’s a flash drive with Fedora, go ahead and manually install your operating system. Oh shit also your desktop has 2g of ram, a core2 duo, and we scavenged your hard drive for another dev so just go find one in the server room. And also your monitor is broken so just take one from another cubicle.”
Am shown our server room and see that someone is storing random personal shit in there (golf clubs propped against the server racks with heads mixed into the cabling, etc.). Ask why the golf clubs etc. are mixed in with the cabling and server racks and am given the silent treatment. Learn later that my boss is the owners son, and he is storing his personal stuff in our server room.
Do desktop support for end users. Another manager asks for her employees to receive copies of office 2010 (they’re running 2003 an 2007). Ask boss about licensing plans in place and upgrade schedules, he says he’ll get back to me. I explain to other manager we are working on a licensing scheme and I will keep her informed.
Next day other manager tells me (*the intern*) that she spoke with a rich business friend whose company uses fake/cracked license keys and we should do the same to keep costs down. I nod and smile. IT manager tells me we have no upgrade schedule or licensing agreement. I suggest purchasing an Office 365 subscription. Boss says $150 a year per employee is too expensive (Company pulls good money, has ~25 employees, owner is just cheap) I suggest freeware alternatives. Other manager refuses to use anything other than office 2010 as that is what she is familiar with. Boss refuses to spend any money on license keys. Learn other manager is owners wife and mother of my boss. Stalemate. No upgrades happen.
Company is running an active directory Windows Server 2003 instance that needs upgrading. I suggest 2012R2. Boss says “sure”. I ask how he will purchase the license key and he tells me he won’t.
I suggest running an Ubuntu server with LDAP functionality instead with the understanding that this will add IT employee hours for maintenance. Bosses eyes glaze over at the mention of Linux. The upgrade is put off.
Start cleaning out server room of the personal junk, labeling server racks and cables, and creating a network map. Boss asks what I’m doing. I show him the organized side of the server room and he says “okay but don’t do any more”.
... *sigh* ...20
I’ve battled depressed I failed to realized I had for many years. I didn’t love myself, I forgot what it felt like to love myself, and then one day my life turned around out of the blue. I believe my turning point was when I realized that I wasn’t alone and that people did care about me. I just wasn’t motivated especially after almost losing my cousin to suicide 3-4 months back. It changed my DNA, my personality, everything about me changed until I told myself that I had enough.
Today marks the 4th month where I last had a cup of coffee, soda, or junk food in general because in all honesty it was just making my depression worse. Today also marks the 4th month I’ve been going to the gym without fail and I’ve now noticed how far I’ve come. I love myself more than ever now and I am VERY goal oriented as well. I have one more year left until I get my bachelors degree in Software Development and soon after I’ll go in for my Masters and who knows what I’ll do after that.
It’s all uphill from here and by sticking to my new routines I am feeling a lot better as the days and months pass.
Attached is my progress thus far, left is from when I felt at my lowest and right is the progress I’ve made so far with improving myself and where I am at now.
I love myself, I love those that love me, and I LOVE feeing AMAZING like I do now when I wake up every morning waiting to see what the day has in store for me 😄❤️38
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW OF ALL YOU DICKHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT 'BOUT PROGRAMING AND STILL QUALIFY FOR THE NEXT ROUND!
Background: I am a final year student of Computer Science. This time of the year, companies come to the campus to recruit potential employees for their vacant positions. But during the COVID-19 times, the number of such companies and jobs have gone a little down. Two companies came to our university for recruitment — DXC Technology and Hanu Software. I cleared the aptitude/code test for DXC and appeared for the interview, which went fairly well. Waiting on the results. The rant is about the other company.
The Story: I am learning and working on Cloud (AWS specifically) for the past 1 year. I have a cloud Certification in Oracle and working my way to get Azure Certified. Hanu Software, which is a core cloud company (works on Azure) came to our campus for the recruitment (Cloud Engineer). Their test had these sections —
1. Personality (54 Questions; 15 minutes)
2. Verbal (20 Questions; 20 minutes)
3. Reasoning (15 Questions; 15 minutes)
4. Technical (25 Questions; 25 minutes)
5. Quantitative (15 Questions; 15 minutes)
As soon as I finished my Interview with DXC, I had my Hanu test within 30 minutes. I have a Mac so the test by default started on Safari. After completing 4 sections, I receive a mail in Junk from Hanu which stated that only Chrome or Firefox can be used to give the test. AHH! And on Safari.. the platform on which the test was being conducted didn't ask me for any camera permission (the test is monitored, can't even change windows/switch tabs). I then changed the browser to Mozilla Firefox and somehow finish the test. After finishing, I call up my classmates to find out how their test go. Know what? FUCKING TWATS USED GOOGLE LENS TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS!
Last night, the list of qualifying students arrived and obviously I didn't make it to the list, but those dumbfucks did who don't even know what Cloud technology is or how it works. Neither they could do any average level program, nor have the communication skills. HOW?! HOW THEM AND NOT ME? Life is very unfair sometimes. I couldn't sleep at night.
PS: If you made this far, thank you for reading this rant (and sorry for it being so long). Makes it better to be able to share with someone. If you could, then please guide me (online resources/recommendations) to be better at competitive programming, or help me enhance my resume/linkedin or if you could refer me for an entry level position at your organisation, I would eternally be grateful. Thank you once again. And sorry for the long rant.22
I swear I work with mentally deranged lunatics.
Dev is/was using TFS's web api to read some config stuff..
Ralph: "Ugh..this is driving me crazy. I've spent all day trying to read this string from TFS and it is not working"
Me: "Um, reading a string from an web api is pretty easy, what's the problem?"
Ralph: "I'm executing the call in a 'using' statement and cannot return the stream."
Me: "Why do you need to return a stream? Return the object you are looking for."
Ralph: "Its not that easy. You can return anything from TFS. All you get back is a stream. Could be XML, JSON, text file, image, anything."
Me: "What are you trying to return?"
Ralph: "XML config. If I use XDoc, the stream works fine, but when I step into each byte from the stream, I the first three bytes have weird characters. I shouldn't have to skip the first three bytes to get the data. I spent maybe 5 hours yesterday digging around the .Net stream readers used in XDoc trying to figure out how it skips the first few bytes."
Me: "Wow...I would have used XDoc and been done and not worried about that other junk."
Ralph: "But I don't know the stream is XML. That's what I need to figure out."
Me: "What is there to figure out? You do know. Its your request. You are requesting a XML config."
Ralph: "No, the request can be anything. What if Sam requests an image? XDoc isn't going to work."
Me: "Is that a use-case? Sam requesting an image?"
Ralph: "Uh..I don't know...he could"
Me: "Sounds like your spending a lot of time doing premature optimization. You know what your accessing TFS for, if it's XML, return XML. If it's an image, return an image. Something new comes along, modify the code to handle it. Eazy peezy."
<boss walks in from a meeting>
Boss: "Whats up guys?"
Ralph: "You know the problem with TFS and not being able to stream the data I had all day yesterday? I finally figured it out. I need to keep this TFS reader simple. I'll start with the XML configs and if we more readers later, we can add them."
Boss: "Oh yea, always start simple and add complexity only when you need it."
Frack...Frack..Frack...you played some victim complaining to anyone who would listen yesterday (which I mostly ignored) about reading data from TFS was this monumental problem no one could solve, then you start complaining to me, I don't fall for the BS, then tell the boss the solution was your idea?
Lunatic or genius? Wally would be proud.4
Business User: Hey can we get a sample output you plan to send us?
Me: yes heres a mock
BU: This doesn't look right, can you use real values?
Me (said nicely): WELL IF WHEN YOU WROTE THE FCKIN REQUIREMENTS WEREN'T SO VAGUE AND ACTUALLY PROVIDED REAL VALUES FOR THE INPUTS WE WOULD GET AND WHAT WE SHOULD OUTPUT USING THEM MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU A BETTER SAMPLE... AND DO LESS GUESSING ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY WANT...
BU: Oh I forwarded some data
Me: *looks at input data*
(thoughts) THIS FUCKING MAKES NO SENSE!! NOWHERE DOES ANYTHING LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU WANTED.... HOW ABOUT I PULL MAGIC VALUES OUT OF MY ASS?6
Watch out for these fucking bug bounty idiots.
Some time back I got an email from one shortly after making a website live. Didn't find anything major and just ran a simple tool that can suggest security improvements simply loading the landing page for the site.
Might be useful for some people but not so much for me.
It's the same kind of security tool you can search for, run it and it mostly just checks things like HTTP headers. A harmless surface test. Was nice, polite and didn't demand anything but linked to their profile where you can give them some rep on a system that gamifies security bug hunting.
It's rendering services without being asked like when someone washes your windscreen while stopped at traffic but no demands and no real harm done. Spammed.
I had another one recently though that was a total disgrace.
"I'm a web security Analyst. My Job is to do penetration testing in websites to make them secure."
"While testing your site I found some critical vulnerabilities (bugs) in your site which need to be mitigated."
"If you have a bug bounty program, kindly let me know where I should report those issues."
"Waiting for response."
It immediately stands out that this person is asking for pay before disclosing vulnerabilities but this ends up being stupid on so many other levels.
The second thing that stands out is that he says he's doing a penetration test. This is illegal in most major countries. Even attempting to penetrate a system without consent is illegal.
In many cases if it's trivial or safe no harm no foul but in this case I take a look at what he's sending and he's really trying to hack the site. Sending all kinds of junk data and sending things to try to inject that if they did get through could cause damage or provide sensitive data such as trying SQL injects to get user data.
It doesn't matter the intent it's breaking criminal law and when there's the potential for damages that's serious.
It cannot be understated how unprofessional this is. Irrespective of intent, being a self proclaimed "whitehat" or "ethical hacker" if they test this on a site and some of the commands they sent my way had worked then that would have been a data breach.
These weren't commands to see if something was possible, they were commands to extract data. If some random person from Pakistan extracts sensitive data then that's a breach that has to be reported and disclosed to users with the potential for fines and other consequences.
The sad thing is looking at the logs he's doing it all manually. Copying and pasting extremely specific snippets into all the input boxes of hacked with nothing to do with the stack in use. He can't get that many hits that way.4
Just tried to register some travel tickets, at FlixBus. Of course alternatively I could go for a train but those would be more expensive. So yeah.
Go to another site to get another ticket for my travel back, only to find out that while they couldn't implement return, their webdevs are apparently skilled enough to get a giant boner on blinking "(1) Almost ready!" in the site's title, when changing to another tab and there happens to be stuff in the cart. Do you really think I care about that shit! Don't distract me and let me get my shit done!!!
But yeah fucking Web 3.0!!! Give me a fucking break.11
This will be long and it's more of an IT rant, but I think it still fits.
So a user comes to me and says "hey on my phone I can't see anything in my junk email folder but there are a bunch of emails in there on my PC." I take a look at the Outlook app on his phone. The "Junk" folder that he has open is actually in his deleted items folder. So clearly it's not the real junk folder. There are no other folders named "Junk", but there is one named "Spam". I open that and there are a bunch of emails in there.
ME: "Does this look like what you were expecting to see?"
USER: "Oooohhh so you think it's called "Spam" instead of "Junk" on my phone?"
ME: "I'm not sure, does this look like what you were expecting to see?"
USER: "See, I always thought junk and spam were two different things."
ME: (grinding my teeth and taking a deep breath) "Does. This. Look. Like. What. You. Were. Expecting. To. See?"
USER: "Yeah, looks like it."
OK THEN FRICKING TAKE YOUR PHONE AND GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.
I didn't really say that last bit, but I sure was tempted to.9
So I'm wrapping up for the day and right before I leave a coworker comes up to me with a problem. Our company uses barcodes to track some of our products through their development and we recently switched over to a new system for producing them. The barcodes for this particular product are supposed to have 8 digits, but the last 200 we printed have 9.
I immediately panic because I wrote the script that generates the bar codes and there had been a bug in the past where the script would add extra leading zeroes that weren't supposed to be there. I scramble and check the database, it would be a huge headache if our production database had been compromised with junk barcodes. Nope, all the new barcodes there have the right number of digits.
Next place to check is in the code that writes the barcodes to a text file for staff to print the physical labels from. Nope that's all fine too.
I ask the person who printed out the recent batch of labels to show me how the printing software reads from the text file. She seems confused by my question and shows me how she manually enters in the barcode range to the software. As she does this I watch her add an extra zero to the numbers. 🙃
Even worse there was an option to import all the codes from a text file literally RIGHT BELOW the manual option.
TLDR; Thought my script had screwed up our database, ended up being the fault of a coworker who didn't know how to import text files.1
In the name of my partner: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MUSHROOM ADDICT SLAVER! DAMN SUN OF A BITCH!
My partner does her obligatory internship for university. Guess what, the place where she is working offers no payment, 40h a week and even work unrealted to her studies!
She went there with pure enthusiasm and power and this whole non-sense facility of fucktards broke her. She lost her bliss and is really depressed now - mainly because of this fucktard, cock-sucking boss that has no fucking fire anymore and is abusing everyone there mantaly. If not for me she'd get not a songle positive feedback from this whole piece of junk which really, REALLY PISSES ME OF. FUUUCK. How can someone be such a joy sucking prick?
And the university?! They just don't give a fuck because they don't have enough employees to tackle all problems while at the same time their whole organization is the biggest pile if stinky, sleazy shit you have ever seen!! Omg.
Just had to get that out. Fuck.1
Oh boy, this is gonna be good:
TL;DR: Digital bailiffs are vulnerable as fuck
So, apparently some debt has come back haunting me, it's a somewhat hefty clai and for the average employee this means a lot, it means a lot to me as well but currently things are looking better so i can pay it jsut like that. However, and this is where it's gonna get good:
The Bailiff sent their first contact by mail, on my company address instead of my personal one (its's important since the debt is on a personal record, not company's) but okay, whatever. So they send me a copy of their court appeal, claiming that "according to our data, you are debtor of this debt". with a URL to their portal with a USERNAME and a PASSWORD in cleartext to the message.
Okay, i thought we were passed sending creds in plaintext to people and use tokenized URL's for initiating a login (siilar to email verification links) but okay! Let's pretend we're a dumbfuck average joe sweating already from the bailiff claims and sweating already by attempting to use the computer for something useful instead of just social media junk, vidya and porn.
So i click on the link (of course with noscript and network graph enabled and general security precautions) and UHOH, already a first red flag: The link redirects to a plain http site with NOT username and password: But other fields called OGM and dossiernumer AND it requires you to fill in your age???
Filling in the received username and password obviously does not work and when inspecting the page... oh boy!
I ask for the seemingly "new" credentials and i receive new credentials again, no tokenized URL. okay.
Now Once i log in i get a horrible looking screen still made in the 90's or early 2000's which just contains: the claimaint, a pie chart in big red for amount unpaid, a box which allows you to write an - i suspect unsanitized - text block input field and... NO DATA! The bailiff STILL cannot show what the documents are as evidence for the claim!
Now we stop being the pretending dumbassery and inspect what's going on: A 'customer portal' that does not redirect to a secure webpage, credentials in plaintext and not even working, and the portal seems to have various calls to various domains i hardly seem to think they can be associated with bailiff operations, but more marketing and such... The portal does not show any of the - required by law - data supporting the claim, and it contains nothing in the user interface showing as such.
The portal is being developed by some company claiming to be "specialized in bailiff software" and oh boy oh boy..they're fucked because...
The GDPR requirements.. .they comply to none of them. And there is no way to request support nor to file a complaint nor to request access to the actual data. No DPO, no dedicated email addresses, nothing.
But this is really the ham: The amount on their portal as claimed debt is completely different from the one they came for today, for the sae benefactor! In Belgium, this is considered illegal and is reason enough to completely make the claim void. the siple reason is that it's unjust for the debtor to assess which amount he has to pay, and obviously bailiffs want to make the people pay the highest amount.
So, i sent the bailiff a business proposal to hire me as an expert to tackle these issues and even sent him a commercial bonus of a reduction of my consultancy fees with the amount of the bailiff claim! Not being sneery or angry, but a polite constructive proposal (which will be entirely to my benefit)
So, basically what i want to say is, when life gives you lemons, use your brain and start making lemonade, and with the rest create fertilizer and whatnot and sent it to the lemonthrower, and make him drink it and tell to you it was "yummy yummy i got my own lemons in my tummy"
So, instead of ranting and being angry and such... i simply sent an email to the bailiff, pointing out various issues (the ones6
You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.
A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!
And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...
devRant may just have been my rubber duck.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!
Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!18
Looked into my spam/junk folder and found this. I don't have a C-Panel account, just so you know. I took a look into the link to check it out. It's quite obviously an attempt at phishing. (more screenshots in the comments)8
Mobile phones are from hell >:[ Well, at least my gf's Samsung is from hell. It makes noise for anything. If someone calls, play a stupid melody. If there is a text, play a stupid melody. If its battery needs to be charged, play a stupid melody. If its battery is fully charged, play a stupid melody. Even if it's in the middle of the night and people just maybe would like to get a few minutes of sleep! What's next? Play a stupid melody when the stupid Samsung Android piece of junk wants its diaper changed? Or when it's bored? Or just needs attention? Or when it realises that the word "smart" in smart phones actually means stupid? SHUT UP!!! We don't need a tamagotchi, we already have two kids and two cats to fullfill our tamagotchying needs! Technology is supposed to make life easier, not worse FFS! No wonder so many people get stressed out these days! And you, pathetic people at Samsung, or whoever that come up with these "smart" features that deprave decent people of their sleep, now it's your turn to be woken up! WAKE UP IDIOTS! Get outside your small mobile-bound shitholes of confined fart-filled bubbles! Learn about REAL LIFE, get yourselves nagging gfs, screaming kids and a PUNCH IN YOUR FACES! Maybe that will teach you to manufacture phones that SHUT THE FUCK UP during sleeping hours!31
Udemy is full of crap.
I got some course that had been "discounted" from $200 (I already mentioned it is an ugly trick) and it was over in like 20 minutes. The fuck?!
All the info they gave was either common sense or something you could find on the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article on the given topic (it was a soft skills course, not a technical one).
Maybe there are some gems out there, but I'm not sure I would risk it again.
Udemy feels like the Booking.com of courses in terms of deceitful UX, but it's not nearly as useful.
Maybe you guys have found something good there that you could say is a bargain? If so, please let me know.10
You know how it is, you are doing ok with your tatty made from salvaged spaceship dodging the pirates and doing a spot of mining.
When you start asking for advice..
How could I do things better ?
Well, everyone and their dog says what a rubbish setup you got and how you should get a top of the line model Tesla or something.
So, after much research about how much better those are, and listening to everyone else, you trade in your old model for a newer one..
Then you find out what a piece of junk it is !
It's 10 times more complicated to use, not really fun anymore..
It isn't quite as good, you worry it is going to break every time you park and bump the side of the parking bay..
Too late now, you traded in your old piece of junk that you loved..
It's just not the same..
It looks prettier I guess..
Perhaps that is a metaphor for relationships. :-)5
A new currency is emerging in our industry. It is called "blame".
Who is to blame if we don't meet the deadline?
Who is to blame if the rushed release has x bugs?
Who is to blame if nightly build breaks, because our CI-Server is an old hunk of junk and "management" didn't approve the upgrade?
Our customer blames the delay in HIS infrastructure on us, because our system requirements are too high.
Blame blame blame. This currency is the new idol of our management team. Everyone gets blamed. They manage their "blame" ledgers instead of approving the tools we need or give us reasonable deadlines. Why Lord, oh why are there SO MANY MORONS in managment? You know what, dear "managers"? FUCK YOU., FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR MOM WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU COULDN'T POUR PISS OUT OF A BOOT WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON THE HEEL.4
Just found this today in the Terms for a VPN provider...
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!? GO BOIL WHAT SMALL MAN JUNK YOU HAVE AND EAT IT.2
I fucking hate Node.JS
This piece of junk software wasted my whole entire fucking evening trying to figure this shit out how the fuck does that work?? Why does anyone use that?? Why is there no better fucking way for this?
I decided to use UIKit for my project because I am a shitty web designer. It either comes from a cdn, yarn or git. I only need UIKit for my project, nothing else, and it's the front end part of my web app. I install it through yarn because I want to customize it too.
Yarn created an empty package.json, a node modules folder, and that's all. I try compiling my custom less file, it fails because there is no such script. I try doing it from inside the module directory, and just go with it, the directory names are like 50 characters long, I cannot change the build directory, I have 2 million fucking node modules and I have to navigate them, there are no proper docs for anything, and I'm currently filled with endless frustration because there must be a better way to manage this, it can't be the only way that css frameworks work nowadays, the endless error messages, endless logs, commands, shitty programs made by shitty 12 year olds who learned "hello world" in js and thought they were programmers, I fucking hate all of this
There must be a better way22
Some business users have been chasing me all week to produce a report using some old report with some modifications.
I didn't write the old code and have no context as to what the data is.
My current reaction is:
so you want a report that says X using some vague input which you haven't clearly defined or explained to me...
Have you heard about black boxes and overfitting (i.e. reverse engineering a process based on sample data)?
TLDR: I can generate a report that will say anything you want it to say... doesn't mean it will be right in future use cases.
Why don't people (originally GBoard suggested peepee) understand "junk in = junk out"
Helping out a team, I was documenting some code/processes when I came across several classes that was logging a lot of, IMO, 'junk' that was unnecessary (and I knew wasn't being used in any Splunk alerts/reports)
I offer a refactoring suggestion, simplifying the data being logged, moving the duplicate code to a central location, maybe saving 10~20 lines of code. Didn't think it was a big deal because they were already actively working on the code and it was all new code (nothing deployed to production yet). Sent the suggestion to the lead developer and he responds:
Dev: "Yes, the changes looks fine, but not in scope of the project. Any out of scope work will need to be suggested at the end of the project, reviewed by the team, the project manager and approved by the vice president."
"Out of scope"? Logging data to Splunk needs a vice president's approval? WTF?
YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE PROJECT OPEN IN VISUAL STUDIO RIGHT NOW!!!
Along with the documentation the lead dev said they didn't have time to do, I send his boss and the dev team my suggested changes (before-after screen shots of the code) and offered to do the 2 minutes worth of work (again, this was new code, nothing in production and zero side affects to anything).
I even offered to create the splunk reporting/alerting against the data being logged (another item they said they would not have time to do)
About a minute later the lead dev responds..
Dev: "Those changes look good. I'll have Jake make those changes and we can test the logging when we deploy to dev on Monday. Thanks!"
Of course you will...fracking ass hat.
I'll bet my Battlestar Galactica DVD box set he was going to make the changes himself, brag to his boss how he refactored the code, saving X lines of code..blah blah blah to help *me* with documenting the logging portion.
How do I resolve this conflict of interest?
TLDR: I want to go out for exercise/health. But I also need an immediate goal. So when I go out, I will always end up buying some junk food.
It's such a nice day today. Let's go for a walk, get out the house and some exercise because I also love deals.
Hmm… where should I go? (Need a motivation)
I know let's go shopping! (Only reason to leave the house)
Takes a walk to Duane Reade (supermarket) 10 mins away.
It’s so hot/I want a reward! I'm out already why not get a treat… let's see I can get a large Iced Coffee for $1 (or some other deal) at McDonalds (which is pretty much next door now that I'm here).
I mean isn't that a great deal! I could make coffee myself but only the KCup and well they wouldn't be cold. I want it cold now, not in an hour… (i probably won't when want it then). So that dollar is just for the coldness mostly and i guess the service cost.
Also since I'm here already, i save the food delivery fees (this also applies whenever I order for pickup: I save so much on the delivery costs and I get exercise too!)
Healthwise and financially, this negates any benefit of going out and probably would've been better had I not gone out and just ate the plain salad at home.5
Fucking google 2 step auth and their lack of customer service.
I have my account setup with my phone and a backup email account. No backup keys, since I only found out about those today! Thanks for letting me know this late in the game -.-
And yet. After I made a clean install of the os on my laptop. Tried to log back into my account. I am not getting text messages or emails to my backup emails (even though its allegedly sent.... And no its not in the junk mail) to validate my 2 factor auth.... Like fuck you!!!
If you gonna give us the ability to fort knox our accounts. At the bare minimum have some customer support to at least be train to answer a phone and tell me if your servers are having an issue or something. Im so in the fucking dark here and cant access shit.1
So...buffered query kept crashing even though I have a row limit of 10001 on my abstract datatables class. I didn't realize it was buffered because I grab the results in a for loop as a fetch. Well, I tracked it down to being the size of the email content that I'm selecting (and then using strip_tags and substring in PHP before returning to the front-end). So it's totally a catch-22 at this point because if I select let's say...substring 500 characters and most of that is line breaks and other html junk, I may only get a couple characters of normal text (or none at all) after stripping tags and doing a final substring to get the 50 characters of text I want to display. I said screw it and took the email content out of the table all together. You have to view it to see the content now. I should probably be storing a text-only version of the email, but argh..that's a lot of extra data.
Anyone out there building / maintaining their own propietary CMS? Is it worth the hassle, or would switching to an open-source system be better?
This piece of junk is old and built with almost no design in mind. Now that we have to maintain it for 150 websites, it's becoming a huge support and maintenance pain.
So sick of dealing with stupid stuff, I'm just about ready to drop the whole thing and build on WordPress.3
Another hours wasted on debugging, on what I hate most about programming: strings!
Don't get me started on C-strings, this abomination from hell. Inefficient, error prone. Memory corruption through off by one errors, BSOD by out of bound access, seen it all. No, it's strings in general. Just untyped junk of data, undocumented formats. Everything has to be parsed back and forth. And this is not limited to our stupid stupid code base, as I read about the security issues of using innerHTML or having to fight CMake again.
So back to the issue this rant is about. CMake like other scripting languages as bash have their peculiarities when dealing with the enemy (i.e. strings), e.g. all the escaping. The thing I fought against was getting CMake's fixup_bundle work on macOS. It was a bit pesky to debug. But in the end it turned out that my file path had one "//" instead of an "/" and the path comparison just did a string comparison without path normalization.
Stop giving us enough string to hang ourselves!15
Background: We switched from just simple old PHP and JS using notepad++ to PHPStorm and its infinite configurables, Symfony 4, Twig, Composer, Doctrine, Yarn, NPM, Bootstrap, ( thank the stars we didn't try to add Docker in with all this ), any other junk I'm missing here? Then upgraded to Symfony 5.
Symfony's autowiring: madness behind the curtains. I get frustrated about when and where I can just magically inject these dependencies or use config variables, you know, like the ones you define in service.yaml. Hmmm, "service".yaml. In a controller you can say getParameter() but in a service you have to inject the parameter, FROM THE "SERVICE".yaml!!! Autowiring drives me nuts. Ok, so we can supply dependencies using the constructor, that's great! Within a controller you never have to instantiate the object you're passing to the constructor (autowiring handles that). That's cool, weird when we you try to trace it for the first few times, but nice I guess. Feels like half-assin' it. What bugs me here is that it only works in controllers... I guess out of the box.. i'm not even sure. To get that feature to work for services you have to make some yaml edits. Right?Maybe? Some of the Symfony tutorials have you code up some junk then trash it. Change config then wipe that out and do X instead... so I have no idea what "out of the box" for Symfony really is.
Found this cool article that describes my frustrations in better terms and seems like a good resource to learn about autowiring. I need to continue my yaml wizardry classes. https://alanstorm.com/symfony-autow...
.....And on to YAMLs, or CSS, or JS or any other friggin' change you make to a file anywhere... Make a change, reload page, nothing... nope you have to do some hidden cheat combo of yarn dostuff -> cache:clear -> cache:warmup -> cache:cache:the:cache ... I really really hate this crap. Maybe I'm too old school for all this junk. It was simple with pure PHP. Edit code, push file, reload page, and oh look it changed! Done. So happy! Ok, Ok. Occasionally the js or css might get cached by the browser and you have to ctrl/f5 or Shift/f5 .. one of those. With this framework there's just so much more that you have to remember to do get some new feature of your site loaded.
Now, I totally get wanting to use some type of entity framework, but I feel like my entire world turned backwards. Designing tables using something like MySQL Workbench made sense. I can see all the columns and datatypes right there as i'm building them. From what I've experienced now with Symfony/Doctrine is you have to make and entity, get a shit-ton of question lobbed at you and if it's a relation field you have to really have a clear idea of the cardinality up front. Then we migrate that to the database. Carefully read through the SQL if you really really just want to use migrations:migrate in Prod. That alter table could cost you some some downtime if your table is large.
Some days man....
So my stomach got fucked up after a mix of junk food, drinks and shit. Even after vomiting continued to burn and hurt. Googled and found out banana's are usually good for acidic and fucked up stomachs.
Now I'm filling my face with bananas
In hopes I'm not one of the one percent of people that acidic refluxes worsen with banana.1