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An interesting paradox

"When your computer overheats, why does it freeze..."

Don't know if this has been post yet before but ohhh well

Q: "Why isn't she committing to me?"
A: "Because you are in her .gitignore list"...

Expert Beginner

How to punish new users to Linux when they type sl instead of ls

Colleague started to share their screen

Me: screen is not visible to be

Them: let me just increase the brightness of my monitor

I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying

"Getting Started" to any form of documentation

Asked junior to clone a git repo

junior: tried everything it doesn't work

me: show me how you did it

junior: right clicked on the repository, 'Copy link address' then paste it into the terminal

me: put that mouse down right now!

I got the offer!!!!!!

Headphone - an instrument to never get annoyed or distracted by loud or silly people's noises!

Can this happen to a dev???

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Introduction to graphics

Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"

All students agree. He would sort out that matter.

Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...

And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...

What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!

Can you spot the irony

Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!

People around me be like "Why you never take a break?? I see you work all the time. Doesn't your company offer you a paid holiday??"

Yeah they do offer a paid holiday, but even on holiday I still have to work because I'm the IT manager, full stack developer, database admin, helpdesk and everything that is related to IT.
:(

What's wrong with the USPS...my stressball has been stuck in Jamaica for the last 10 months...

I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥

2017: jump into the near future

AnotherJSFramework.js

So AJSF.js

Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase

Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works

Deep Thought Rant

It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...

Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on

Are their companies that still do this?

Any Stromae fans on devrant

His music get me in the zone...when code works and test pass 😅😅😅

Had a PHP test for a job application yesterday. The test contains nearly 20 questions, most are 2 points. I had to write the answer into a word file and cannot use search engine. I thought I did okay because most of the questions were asking like 'what is php', 'what is isset', etc. which I could answer all of them and pretty confident that I answered correctly but the recruiter contacted back today that I failed...:(

It's my first time applying for a programing job after been working in the field for almost 3 years. Feel so bad.. Feel so unqualified 😥😥

Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab

He tells us to try it out at our workstations.

We do. The code does work. We tell him.

He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."

Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?

We were flabbergasted

So f*king stressed out!

3 weeks passed at new job and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing. My PRs got tons of comments and I still can't finish a tiny ticket that should be very easy but it's in a stack that I have almost 0 knowledge about. I feel so incompetent and afraid that I won't pass the probation. 😥

The stress hit so hard that I can't eat, feeling nausea every morning and can't sleep well at all. I question myself if I'm too stupid to be a developer, should I just give up?

😭😰😱😥😵

Argh this is so bad!

Finally finished my application to do Data Science. Fingers crossed I get it!

When you are involved in a conflict of interest project and its kept under wraps ...but your IT director still wants you to do it because his friend needs something done but don't want to pay for it

Who else has faced this? Or am I the only one...?

What do you do when you're stuck??

Over heard while watching a tutorial

"The secret key is really secret"

-- Best --
> Submitted my notice of termination for my current job
> Found a new job starting next year
> Can switch from Windows to Linux/MacOS in new job
> Got more time to work on personal projects due to the pandemic

-- Worst --
> Huge amount of software restrictions (current job) almost got several projects at work canceled. Maybe its important to say that the core business of my current workplace is auditing so there are a lot of law regulations which then apply in the softwaredevelopment process.
> New managers that do not have the slightest clue of what they're doing
> Online Teambuilding events
> Absurd amount of segmentation of tools and also different coding guidelines that are used at work. E.g. one team uses jira, another trello, another github issue tracker and so on.

Drunk coding, good or bad idea?

In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...

In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?

Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge

Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...

DAMN YOU LECTURER!

What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time

And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.

How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?

So what do you call people who like Apple devices only or Android devices only? Or someone who thinks Apple devices are superior only or Android devices are superior only ?

Devicist ???

It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?

First day at work and after seeing the codebase and how everyone's talking about the code, I'm pretty sure I don't have imposter syndrome, I'm just that bad...

I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.

I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff

ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN

You are watching "scaring cats videos"

A Chinese coworker who always brought a tea flavoured hand lotion bottle and applied it before coding on his finger tips and wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday changed only his shoes...

Today is my last coursework submission. I've touched on a lot of topics I never thought I would be able to do/even thought about. I like data science, but I just don't feel so passionate about it now. I just want to ditch coursework and do cool shit, but I never find the time.

Anyone else get somewhat "fed up" of what they've studied? How did you get through it? Just do the "cool shit"?

Strongly Typed TypeScript

May the developer Gods have mercy on me

Client push back: when the client wants an impractical feature to be implemented and you tell them HELL NO, with a little sugar coating of course

...specifying type of shell is important...

There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.

All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone

Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...

Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well

Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm

Not even a cracked screen can take me away from devrant!!!

Had my first ever final interview as a developer after passing the first ever coding assignment, now can't stop thinking if I should have answered the questions differently.

I was very honest to my answer when they asked "How do you test your application?" As I started building the app with 0 knowledge about software development and know nothing about software testing. So I just told them the truth that I did not do any proper test, I just used a checklist and manual test to test my app and the app that I created for the assignment was the first app that I write a proper test cases and implement an automated test. The same goes to other questions like automated deployment and OOP experience. I just told them the honest truth even though I know that they are not the best practice. Did I just f*cked up the interview??

Arghh can't stop thinking

The new google calendar UI looks good!

Mom: I type weird characters called commands all day to make computers work.

Dad: I program/code

Flex box, seems nice unless it doesn't wrap the row the way you expect

Md5 hashing only when making registering user details

Something very interesting today

I worked on an API feature and it was approved and merge to the stable copy of the project. But then comes the demo.

Now we used Heroku(this devil)
The database uses sqlite. I can register an account on the web application. But the user table has only the admin account even though i have successfully managed to register.

I dont know what sorcery this was!

I simply went with the saying "it is working on my local machine"

Only to realise minutes to the demo the build pack was not done well at the beginning...

What is life...

I wonder if you can make this stuff up?

All married devs here who married devs

Why did you chose a dev and not another profession?

Of course skipping the love

They say sleep is for the weak...

They lie...I am soo sleepy today

Ohhhh my i have to rebase...

*Psyche* *Psyche*

But first let me drink some wine

Can i just get a simple consistent react tutorial that goes step by step even when consuming an API...

IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?

You build, develop and test systems and software...but because its under the bracket of IT, they think playing music and kinda sorta being a DJ and watchman of a laptop during a promotion is sufficient for you.

Focus: Get up and walk around, disturb someone(calculated disturbing), break a window,

Procrastinating: DO IT NOW, JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

....sorry

Yes my 2 cents

Many people say that it's easy to pass probation, so I wonder what would make someone not pass a probation in your opinion?

I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam

Faker has helped me make fake notifications for my tests...you lose this time copy+paste...

Plan before you code, no matter now small the code

Not learning about the javascript execution context when i started learning js

Shallow() or To Mount()....shit react tests have been killing me. The issues on github have not been resolved. And our team lead has insisted on them even more. Haha they way I have been ditching them.

Headphones, Sound Cloud, Earbits.com, or Noisli

Damnnn my Team lead is hinting that i write a test for the feature I paired with a team member.

But the large django code base is ridden with abstract classes and classes and inheritance etc...its going to be a long night

Ran a test today. It was comparing whether a the reducer returned the correct state when a type and list is passed to it. The test failed. But something very curious happened. I am using webstorm and so the IDE told me 'click to see differences'. I did and the message at the top read as follows "The 2 lists are identical" (The expected and actual result). So my test worked but it didn't work. What is life!? I finally got it working though😕

I was out of work for 6 months...I applied at a company that takes in devs and trains them. There was a test, then a personal interview, then a bootcamp process...it was hard. But I pulled through.

Constructive feedback on what you have built

Use Linear gradient ...

No use rgba

Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait

Hallelujah!!!!!

Well here i thought i would have done work...and pooof its time to go home

All i did was refactor with and make PR...

*SIGH*
I guess today was one of those days where little work was done

Repel people who think just because I did IT (and they skip the part to ask, what specifically in IT), I can fix their computers only and I'm of no use beyond that. Immediately they think "he is an IT guy maybe he can fix..." Vrooommm and they are no longer in my view

Magnetic repulsion like how Magneto pushed away Logan in "Days of Future Past"

Why does the biggest mobile money payment system in our country have such crappy documentation! Arghh

And they tell us to read the DOCUMENTATION it has all the answers

waiting since an hour for clang and llvm to build on Mac. so difficult to upgrade c++4.2 to c++11.

Client Server Warehouse Management Systems.

The is a software nightmare...

QA to Android Dev : "the app just force closed"
Android Dev : giving a Darth Vader look pretending to use the force.
QA : "won't work on me, i have the FORCE CLOSE"