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In a Skype meeting with a possible new employer.
Unlocks door after meeting and opens door. There stands my current CEO.
"You're locking your door?"
"Yep." *runs away*
Almost shit myself 😂13 -
I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7 -
Just joined a skype meeting:
Me (software engineer): Am I audible?
Product Manager: Am I audible to you?
Business Development Manager: Hey guys, Am I audible?
After 30 minutes:
Me: Hey guys, Am I audible?
Product Manager: Am I audible to you?
Business Development Manager: Am I audible, guys?6 -
Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).
Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).
Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.
Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”
FRACK!
Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”
Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.
The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.
This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.
FRACKing female dog!
Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.
Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).
People and their petty office politics piss me off.2 -
I was working from home and had a long skype meeting. It was boring and I knew I wouldn't need to say anything the whole time. At the same time my girlfriend was in the mood so we did it on my desk with one headphone in my ear in case somebody asked me a question.
Definitely not the worst meeting, but the most memorable for sure.2 -
6 hours of weekly progress report meeting in client’s office EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY.
Yes it’s a progress report meeting that can be done via email or skype
Yes it takes 6 hours
When we go to the meeting, we have
1. The boss
2. The 1% PM + 99% sales guy
3. The secretary who document everything in that meeting
4. Me as a dev
The only thing i do is to answer “yes, that’s technicaly possible” or “no, that’s stupid” when the client ask for some features or changes.
Sometimes i’m just being an accessory in that meeting.
It was years ago before i quit and become a designer 👌🏼5 -
Skype meeting with bosses be in the middle of the night and I'm drunk as hell.
Uh oh. This sure is fun and troublesome.
How can I be of your help, sir? (Hick)
Sure! I can (belched loudly) do that!
I'd be glad to have your help!
Went to the loo to the point, it's my chance to vomit secretly. Now's the chance to remove the toxin (my head is aching)... and felt so sad when all my food is wasted.14 -
Protip : When you see someone in the middle of a Skype meeting, when it's written that they are in a videoconference with the red button to indicate that they aren't available
don't message them to ask them if they want to go on break.
don't.6 -
Finally after one year I understood how to carry out my job. I should do exactly NOTHING. I stopped completely organizing the team, solving bugs, helping the team developing and solving problems, explore and try stupid things said by CEO, PM and consultants.
I stopped for 2 months now and nothing happened.
I work remotely, nobody knows if I'm working or not, because nobody cares really about priorities, bugs, customers or products development.
I gain 10K$ (ten thousand) per month.
I attend skype meeting once per week or less. I say yes to everything, nobody gives a shit to what I say, even if they consider me the technical director. Actually in the meetings I only take care of being considered the technical director.
I achieved the mythical 4 hours working week.
I keep skype open in all my devices in order to answer promptly in case of problem, wherever I'm am, that's the most important thing right now.
I attended some meeting from the toilet or from the bedroom.
It was hard. To understand that the board is only after the next funding and not looking to develop a real product. It's hard to pretend helping people while thinking inside you "fuck you".
You have to let go the "guilt": if you can't login, I KNOW that is my fault, that there is a bug, that is possible to solve it, that resources and planning are needed etc. That's guilt. Just let go and say "next release" and never include it in the next release.
In this way I discovered that some users are paying the application even if they can't login.
The company is not going to disappear in the next 5 years. On the contrary, it's going to receive more money.
So the only "bad" thing is, what will I write in my CV in 5 years?19 -
Worst exp. on a collab/group project?
Had a few, here is one.
Worked with a dev team (of two devs) in Norway to begin collaboration on providing a portal into our system (placing orders, retrieving customer info, inventory control, etc)
They spoke very good English, but motivation was the problem. Start the day around 10:00AM...take a two hour lunch...ended the day at, if I was lucky, 4:00PM (relative to Norway time). Response time to questions took days, sometimes weeks. We used Skype, which helped, but everything was "Yea...I'll do that tomorrow...waiting on X....I have a wedding to go to, so I'll finish my part next week."
I didn't care so much, I had other projects to do, but the stakeholders pounded me almost everyday demanding a progress report (why aren't you done yet...etc..etc.)
The badgering got so bad I told the project owner (a VP) if he wanted this project done by the end of the year, the company would have to fly me to Norway so I personally push things along.
When real money was on the line, he decided patience was warranted.
A 3 month project turned into 9, and during a phone meeting with the CEO in December
O: "Thanks guys, this project is going great. We'll talk again in February. Bye."
PM: "Whoa...what! February!"
<sounding puzzled>
O: "Um..yes? It's Christmas time. Don't you Americans take off for Christmas?"
PM: "Yes, but not until Christmas. Its only December 12th. Your taking the whole month of December and January for Christmas?"
O:"Yes, of course. You Americans work too hard. You should come over here and see how we celebrate. Takes about a month so we can ease back into the flow of things."
<Jack is the VP>
PM: "Jack wanted this project completed by the end of the year, that is what everyone agreed to."
O:"Yes, I suppose, but my plane is waiting on me. Not to worry, everything will be fine."
<ceo hangs up>
PM: "Oh shit..oh shit..oh shit. What are you going to do!?"
Me: "Me!?..not a darn thing. Better go talk with Jeff."
<Jeff is the VP>
J: "This is unacceptable. You promised this project would only take a few months. I told you there would be consequences for not meeting the deadline."
PM:"But..but...its not our fault."
J: "I don't care about fault. I care about responsibility. I've never had to fire anyone for not meeting a deadline, but .."
Me: "Jeff, they are in Norway and no one is working this project for the next two months. You've known for months about them dragging their asses on this project. We're ready to go. Services have been tested and deployed. Accounting has all the payment routing ready. Only piece missing is theirs."
J: "Oh. OK. Great job guys. I guess we'll delay this project until February."
<leave the office>
PM: "Holy shit I'm glad you were there. I thought I was fired."
Me: "Yea, and that prick would have done it not giving a crap that it's Christmas."
<fast forward to Feb>
O: "Our service provider fell through, so I'm hosting with another company. You guys know PHP? Perl? I don't know what they called it, but it sounded so cool I bought the company."
PM: "You bought what? Are we still working with Z and B?"
O:"Yea, sort of. How's your German? New guy only speaks German."
PM: "Um, uh... no one here speaks German"
O:"Not to worry, I speak German, French, and Italian. I'll be your translator."
PM: "What? French and Italian?"
O: "On my trip to France I connected with a importer who then got me in touch with international shipper in Italy. I flew over there and met a couple really smart guys than can help us out. My new guy only speaks German, J only speaks French, and R speaks Italian, Russian, and a little English. Not to worry, I'm full time on this project. You have my full attention."
We believe the CEO has/had some serious mental issues, including some ADD. He bailed within the first month (took another vacation to Sweden to do some fishing) and left me using Google Translate to coordinate the project. Luckily, by the end, the Norwegian company hired a contractor from England who spoke German and hobbled together the final integration.3 -
Why the hell there is a skype meeting with around 100 participants... And all i have to do is just connect and listen to same 2-3 persons... Repeatedly.
PS- mostly no one even listens😑9 -
I wouldn't say worst, becaues I enjoyed it, but it was definitely the most expensive one. Our team is spread across the EU, then the manager said "Fuck skype. Let's have a meeting in Germany."2
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Every standup, we had to make a skype call to the other office in UK. At that office was the QA lead and for this project she was on our team. One day she came in late to the standup and just looked pissed or sick or SOMETHING. This was particularly strange because usually she was incredibly cheery and "the life of the meeting" in a sense. After everybody's update, she was asked if she had anything to say. She started fucking mumbling some shit I couldn't hear because of the bad audio quality, then she progressively raised her voice until finally she was yelling and cussed out the PM, ending it off with "ALL FUCKING BECAUSE OF YOU, <PM>!!" Everybody was just fucking speechless and confused as fuck. Nobody understood what her fucking issue was, but the PM (on my end of the call) was not taking that shit! "LOOK LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPLAINT IS BUT THIS IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE." Blah blah, he gave it to her good, told her they needed to take it offline, ended the call abruptly and then turned to all of us and said, "Jesus Christ, what drugs is she taking?" To this day I have no idea what the hell happened but it's still one of my funniest memories at that company.1
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I cannot attend another 2 hours zoom meeting THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL!
I got PTSD every time I hear teams, skype, or zoom ringtones.7 -
I fucking hate MS Teams!
I do not use it at all, but there is another company of our group that has it. At the beginning, I could just access the website and talk to them over there. Ok, the page was not good, but that used to work for me.
The last meeting I had with them, the web version did not exist anymore, they just made me install the app. Luckily there is an official Linux version, so I could install it. I got late to the meeting, but could make it.
Today I had a meeting with a client. Important stuff and Teams did not let me use it because I had no business account with Teams enabled on it.
I've tried to use one of my personal accounts, to create a new one, to enable Teams, I've clicked, enabled, allowed every single thing they asked, but I ended up on the Teams home page again or with Teams asking me to call people on Skype instead of using Teams.
I've managed to create a company on Microsoft account on which I had to be responsible to my workers (!?!?!?) and it finally opened the Teams app, but when I try to enter the client meeting link, it just opens the app with no error message at all.
Fuck Teams and fuck Microsoft!2 -
It was around 2013, I was working on a project that had a great business idea, a really really bright feature (to this day I state the same) and all I was getting was around 400e/month of salary. (still was a junior dev)
So, I've been going on vacation to Spain for almost 1.5 month, everything was settled, there were no more pending jobs for me as I've finished everything that I could until more things would be done on the application and design that were needed.
It was 2nd week there, I didn't have a laptop with me as it was full vacation mode, no internet connection as it was almost 100e/month at that time, house I've lived in had no internet either. Then, one morning I receive a call that I must be on a skype meeting in any case - it was live or die situation. Me being me - went to a local internet cafe that was around 3km away from the house (on foot) - logged in to the call and proceeded. (I knew something is going to be fishy).
And there it was - I was needed to go back to my laptop and code a huge ass functionality so that we could present it to our testing clients. It was estimated to take around 3 weeks of full working days. No future payment, no compensation was offered but as stupid as I was - I went on with that and worked half of my vacation on full-day schedule... The functionality was delivered... Only after 4 months since the delivery date - the functionality was tested and after total of 9 months - was presented to the testers... I was pissed and asked for compensation as it was my vacation but all I heard was - NO, you took too long of a vacation and therefore it's your own fault. Soon after that I've started to receive every bit of blame if I was even 1 hour off the set deadline that was set by the manager that didn't have a single clue how programming works or even how to use the internet properly....
All in all, I'm still hurt of the 3 weeks that I've missed but since I've left the job 4 years ago (my salary had increased but I've quadrupled it since then) - I tend to see that it's a common practice to require things NOW and only deal with them MONTHS later...
Morale of the story:
Avoid working on your vacation at any means. If that will mean a lost job - then be it, you'll find a new one, presumably a better job.12 -
Emailed my PM a new project spec, the next morning he emails me back saying, to stop wasting time and get back to "real" work.
A few days later we had a Skype meeting with senior management and the PM who rejected the spec to go over that same spec document among other projects, everyone agrees it's a good idea including the PM :D
FML.1 -
Why doesn't Skype of business have an application for Linux? Every company meeting where a developer isn't involved is run on sfb. Being on Ubuntu it is hard to attend any such meeting. Any meeting between developers is on zoom so we're good.
We can't really convince every one (other than developers) to start using zoom.
Do we have any other alternatives? Is this a lost cause?20 -
Does anyone enjoy their Windows development laptop? I fight with it so much. I would be happy to smack it hard with a hammer for all of the embarrassing things it has done in front of customers.
They are trusting me to build a multi million dollar system yet for some reason I can't join a Skype meeting, or my mic doesn't work, or the scaling on screen makes everything look oversized.
What am I supposed to say? "Trust me to build your system. I swear I'm not as retarded as I appear."8 -
So I had a Skype interview today . They asked me to write a very basic calculation function.. as am looking at the question.. I was like that's too easy .. so I start coding and it just didn't want to work .. as soon as the Skype meeting over and they gave me the usual will get bk to u... I look at my code again and in less then a minute I wrote a new code that solved it .. 😓😭 ..2
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By Boss insists to do branch merge in a Skype meeting after work time.. he has nothing to do with development but he insists to be with us and lead the procedure..
He thinks this is how Devops works..2 -
We have company wide communications such as Skype and WebEx, so why the fuck do people feel the need to hold an ad hoc meeting right behind my desk? Thank God for NC headphones.2
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I'm a second year CS student from Spain, and I'm getting my first remote internship for 3 months with an US bussiness. It looks great and the project does as well. My mentor's experience is quite impressive. Anyway, I'm a bit concerned as long as it's a new bussiness and I don't know about the requirements to do this legally overseas/remote, and he hasn't been really clear about that (we're meeting tomorrow by Skype). I just want to be sure it's not a scam. Any advice? It will be apreciated so much.2
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/*too lazy to convert times to Millis...*/
Private void day() {
try {
Do {
meeting();
while (currentTime < 5pm);
readAndRespond(email);
readAndRespond(slack);
readAndRespond(skype);
}
finally {
realWork();
}
}
private void meeting() {
Thread.sleep(30s); //I wish.
}2 -
Hey guys, I need your honest opinion. What do you think about service provider office location? Situation is that Im looking for an office for me and two employees. Found one good location which is perf in the inside: has a private modern office, meeting rooms, skype rooms, nice kitchen and etc. However its ugly af from the outside: U need to get inside this hospital looking soviet building and take an elevator to the 8th floor to see all the modern stuff. While price seems a bargain, Im kinda afraid of how we could come across potential clients who would visit us for a meeting. As a potential client how would you judge service provider (in this case android dev company) which has nice offices in the inside but ugly af building from the outside?4
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