Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

My sister got me some stickers as a birthday present but she didn't know where to buy them. So she painted a gift card instead...😮

!rant my PC is starting to look decent!

"Turn it off and on again."

Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.

Life support, not so much.

Sister called me on my way to work (she never calls me, we communicate through a family signal) to ask if I wanted to come over for dinner in the weekend because a new guy she knows will be there and also my parents.

Me: hmm idk I've got a lot to do in the weekend....
Sis: he saw my laptop by the way, he was highly impressed that its dual booted and asked how on earth I know about Linux! Then I told him about you and what you do and now he really wants to meet you!
Me: what time would I have to be there?

I hate how that stuff can make me change my mind just like this 😅

I'm about to change my setup to run pihole on this new RPi Zero W. Hopefully it has enough power to handle it.

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

Every time I have a question my boss answers with another question.

I CAME HERE LF ANSWERS YOU BASTARD

That moment when

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

Having to submit code in a word doc... 😬

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

The only place where it's okie for a parent to kill its child #programming

Debugger...Chicken I guess? Got it from one of my students last year. Adapter for scale. It's not the size that matters...

Working with php👌

Just saw someone at school with a devRant sticker on his laptop 😃

My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

The hardest part of exams: not being able to write legible '{}' symbols

My rubber duck is not hatching from my rubber egg. I'm starting to worry :-S

Everyone has a debugging duck.

I have not.

I have literally nothing to debug with on my desk!

Got married last Saturday.

Starting new job in couple of weeks

Life is good!

First rule of Apple beta software: do not talk about Apple beta software.

It doesn’t matter, that there’s PUBLIC beta. You cannot talk about it, cause you violate some idiotic NDA. And then, we get software that looks and works like everyone sees now.

Eat shit, Apple. And all of your fanboys.

*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit

I have just landed my dream job. Coming from a background of java and python, I applied for a C++ heavy company... The interview process was centred on algorithms and I passed it. Now I get to learn the language I have always wanted to learn from pretty hardcore devs while I am getting paid. One of the best fucking days of the 21 years I have been alive for.

Came across this and wanted to share it with everyone here! Haha