Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.

Me: "I'll never be able to do this"

Me: "I suck at coding"

Me: "What am I even looking at"

Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"

Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"

Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."

Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."

As a child:
Look Ma, no training wheels!

As an adult:
Look Ma, no mouse!

Child: Dad, why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?
Dad: Son, it's working, don't touch it.

My thoughts on programming:

As a child:
It is 100% magic

As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code

!rant
My wife just had our first child today. I guess I'll have to share my rubber duck from now on.

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

"I don't need math!
I'll just make videogames when I grow up!"
[Myself as a child]

Me: *opens a terminal in front of parents and starts a build script from command line. Logs start rapidly flooding the screen*

Mom: *whispers to dad proudly* “look at how much she has worked. Look how fast the lines are running on the screen!!

I didn’t wanna burst their bubble by explain them that their child is NOT doing any rocket science, and is something even they can do(maybe better).
So I responded back with a fake serious tone
“Yeah it’s all code.”
If only they knew what I was actually doing...

So instead of master/slave it's parent/child now ? I feel offended. I don't have a child.

„You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first -born child!“

Client: Why did you use Vanilla JavaScript? Even my child doesn't eat vanilla.

Me: Uhh..., you realise we are not talking about ice-cream right?
Right?
RIGHT?

Once A Programmer Had No Child, No Money, No Home, Blind Mother, so he Prays To God.

God Says He Will Grant Him One Wish!

Programmer : “I Want My Mother To See My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, In Our New Home”

God: “Damn! I Still Have A Lot To Learn From These Programmers”

If I had a child I would name him or her "sudo" so I would be sure he/she would do what I say.
"Sudo don't touch the oven!"

Dad: Hey kids! Dinner's ready.
Kids: What's for dinner dad?
Dad: Spaghetti..

!dev
!!personal
!!abuse

I'm a victim of rather severe child abuse, both physical and mental. I've cut my mother out of my life on several occasions, and disowned her husband on father's day a few years ago. Whenever they're in my life they make things slowly but significantly worse.

They'd been using my previous hard times to push their way into my life again, and are now trying to buy their way in -- this time not into my life, but into my 2yo son's life.

I've done everything I could to keep his existence from them. I hid pregnancy from them, dropped any mew mannerisms and cute vocabulary when speaking to them, never let them see toys or hear sounds if I needed to call them, hid the carseat, etc. I did a perfect job. Out of necessity I've been hiding my life from them since I was 13, and I've never done better than this.

But they knew his name, sex, and age. This means they went digging, and a bloody lot. There is literally no public info relating him to me, and nobody that knows us would tell them, either -- they all know and understand.

For years I've refused to tell these people where I lived, too. We've been here for over five years, and three years ago they just randomly showed up at our door. I never gave them an address, and the house isn't in my name. I never had any privacy when I lived with them, either -- literally not even in the bathroom -- but now we have our own house and they still randomly intrude? asldhflakshdf

But. This Christmas Eve, we got two large boxes (fruit flats) stacked full of presents from them. A third for me, a third for my girlfriend, and a third for my 2yo. Name tags and all.

Why can't they just leave us alone? On Christmas of all holidays? Why do they have to ruin everything? Why can't they just go away?

I've made things abundantly clear, and they just. won't. stop. I feel so angry and exasperated and helpless and trapped. I went from listening to "die in a fire" to crying helplessly on the stairs. All I want is to be left alone and not harassed and blackmailed and manipulated and guilted and given expired food as "gifts."

and before you ever even think to defend them, please re-read my first three sentences.

Just.
Merry fucking Christmas.

Thank you, Satan

"Who the heck is the parent of this child?" -
I ask to myself when a button doesn't position itself relative to its container div as expected..

:/

In the end, it looks as it's supposed to, but the way it's done is just bad

* Learn how to google
* Embrace difficulties
* Don't be lazy
* Believe in yourself
* Have fun

The only place where it's okie for a parent to kill its child #programming

I made a wordpress plugin
(don't ask, it's practice for an internship)
The plugin turns every element that does not have a child into an image of a rubber ducky at a speed of 6 rubber ducks a minute.

My wife asked me to clean, cook and watch the child.
When she returned home she started screaming hysterically and cry.
Who understands women...

Team meeting, discussing current project task, dude just slammed his hand on the ground and screaming like a child that he needs help and his taks is more important than others

Fucker got fired 7 months later, took long enough

The place where I work part time, my role is to teach children how to code basic things in python, html and CSS.
There's a child who's been coming to this club for the past year, she's only 8 and is smarter than any other child I've seen in person.
Turns out both her parents are developers which is why she has an interest in coding too. It's so refreshing to see things like these, honestly. I hope my child in the future is like her lol.

The first book that I'll give to my child.

how i spend so long on this as a child i dont know, but i wouldn't change it for the world, damn this brings back memories.

The code you write is your child.
When it misbehaves(bugs) you disciplines(fixes) it.
You are ecstatic when it achieve something(into production).
You want them to be at par with the world(adapting to new libraries).

So, to all the developers out there happy father's day.

Why do most C++ developers stop after one child?

Because multiple inheritance is a headache.

That '==true' is the only reason I won't buy this for my child 😂

"You should name a variable using the same care with which you name a first-born child." - James O. Coplien

I can tell you how I hired one of my employees instead:

During the work interview he mentioned he used to write Amiga demos when he was a teenager. Can I see one? I asked. He emailed one later that I could run on an Amiga emulator.

He got the job! The demo frankly wasn't that impressive but the fact that he wrote stuff like that already as a child was, before college and stuff.

He later told me he would have never guessed as a child his demos would give him a job one day!

As time goes on, I've always wondered what I'm going to say to my future grandchildren about what Dev work was like today:

"Grandpa Josh what was programming like when you were a kid?"

"OH IT WAS AWFUL. ALMOST NOBODY USED VERSION CONTROL CORRECTLY AND NEW JAVASCRIPT FRAMEWORKS WOULD APPEAR EVERY SINGLE DAY!"

"They at least attempted to use new paradigms in their framework code, right grandpa?"

"NO CHILD. THEY WERE EXACTLY THE SAME IN EVERY WAY..."

CHILD: But how can Santa deliver toys to every little boy and girl on his list in one night?
MEH: (laughs) It's quite simple. The items on Santa's list are called blocks, and each block in his "blockchain" typically contains a hash pointer, a timestamp, and transaction data...

A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"

He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him

This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')

Adding borders to HTML elements? Nah.

I put them in a parent element with a background color, then add margin to the child.

Bath time for my child. Never too early to plant some seeds, right? 😁

All love to Android community.

I made a parental control app where parent can control child phone using SMS. Also I published research paper on it and gonna do presentation on March 23.

My family. Mom was the first person to be proud of the things I was interested in. Then my girlfriend pushed me to finish school(she is my wife and the mother of my child now) but mostly my daughters.

I want them to grow up knowing what their dad does.

I am pretty motivated most of the time though, even for shit that i do not like.

Also...money.....i really fucking like money.

I didn't have a child nearby :(

Get child support LOL

Thought of this but no one would truly get it anywhere else...

Family myFamily = new Family();
myFamily.add("husband", "Sept 2011");
myFamily.add("wife", "Sept 2011");
myFamily.add("cat", "July 2012");
myFamily.add("child", "August 2019");

I was called in our residents meeting because I was talking on the phone that "We should kill the childs first and if there are any orphans we should kill them,too".

Oh come on, even a child can tell that

During scrum, we have a remote QA Engineer who literally includes what she and her child do during her lunch breaks.

"Yesterday during lunch, little Jimmy and I went clothes shopping during lunch and I got him some new shirts and they're 100% cotton"

NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!

kernel: Out of memory: Kill process 3396 (postgres) score 167 or sacrifice child

Anyone has a child that I can borrow?

!rant

Got myself a christmas present.

JacksOnF1re child = Girlfriend.createByInject(JacksOnF1re);

And yes, we did the unit test.

Wow

Wow. THE CEO JUST DID AN EMPATHIC SPEECH BECAUSE OUR PAYROLL GOT DELAYED.

He ran out of money. Begging for us to be pressured and bear his child that's even dead by now(his projects).

I guess someone said that it's already a sinking ship. I have to row my own boat and find a new course.

Remember guys, when naming your firstborn child you can cause a stack overflow in the system’s memory by naming it %5E2019F% allowing you to sideload unsigned external code and run DOOM

Article title: "Mastering React component composition using children"

<image of a couple holding a baby>

Image caption: "Parents with child."

**Reads the title again**

Wait what?

.window:nth-child(2) {
visibility: hidden;
}

I hate father's day.

Reminds me of 2 things:

1. My father is a fucking asshole.
2. My ex wife makes it damn near impossible for me to speak to my oldest child. State seems to do the same shit ever other state does to mothers that do this: nothing, zip, nada.

Fuck today.

3 years ago I became the logistics coordinator of the very first edition of Hacknarök. Now I became the main coordinator of the 4th edition! Honestly I can't wait to do this 😁 I feel so blessed cause this project is like my child 😅

Chrome's like that spoiled child that refuses to share with anyone

Do you know that programmers are murderers ?
We kill everyday hundreds of children.
And none of us realize it.

Friend who i set up server for calls me while im on work lunch calls me and it goes like this:
FR: Hey man you remember that server you setup for me ?
Yeahhh ?
FR: Well you see i did an update and now the code you wro..
Why the fuck did you do full upgrade on custom system ?
FR: Well the PHP server was versions behind
Well then update just PHP and the binaries you need or just do normal update not full upgrade to different version of system.
FR: Well OK anyways the parent tries to kill its own child.
WHAT ? Parent is trying to kill its own child ? WTF did you do ? The abort function was never supposed to run only when things are really really fucked up.
FR: Well shit
Well if parent kills its own child then we are screwed and you will have to restore the backup.
FR: Wellllllllllll last back up is from 2 weeks ago.
WHAT ? WHY ? i set it up to backup every day.
FR: Well yes but that was eating too much space so i made it to backup every 2 weeks.
You are an idiot you know that ?
FR: Sorry
OK i will clean up the mess you made when i come home.
*/Then i realized im on lunch with full room of non tech people/* Ah shit.

Then i had to explain to non tech people what is child and parent process in coding and how parent kills child in code.

And BTW the server got fixed. It was just that he updated few libraries too and well path changed in one of them so it coudlnt find it. Easy fix thankfully.

Saw this on a commercial for a planner app. This child is going to have some problems

I will never stop loving the way 'parent/child' is used in the it world

What Java taught me :
--- Parent p = new Child( ); -- error
--- Child c = new Parent( ); -- ok
parent can exist without a child but child cannot exist without parents.
Respect your Mom and Dad

Once upon a time I was program'n, but then the POTATO GOD said unto me, PROGRAM FASTER MY CHILD. And I did so.

Someone's dating site profile:

"I care about the environment"

"You must have a car"

I'm guessing they mean an electric car filled by your own personal solar array, whose materials was not mined by child labour in some far away country.. ?

Anyhow, I asked them if they would date someone with a solar motorbike..

Introducing a new javascript functionality:
Relation operators
These help you determine if object is related to other object and in which way (parent, child)
In screenshot a demonstration done on numbers

Me: *implements design given by client*
My boss: *opens ticket*
"This is not acceptable. this looks like a child made his first website"

k thxbye

I finally learned how to use child classes in a real world situation.

During resignation discussion with delivery manager at my previous organisation, he told me that I should join a start up. (I was planning to do that, and he knew somehow.)

He warned me in weird concerning way that if I join a start up, I will always be in stress. I will have high BP. And sperm count will reduce. I might never be able to produce child. And similar scary stuff.

Weird bald dude scared me for second there.

PS - I did join the start up and my BP is fine and so is my sperm count.

Average Joe:
1.searches how to save money for child college education.
2. Creates a bank account and starts to save , small amount of money from his income.
3. After 18 years, after all the hardwork finally pays the tuition fees to his child.

Dev:
1. Creates a website"Child Savings 101"
2. Monetize it
3. After 18 years, pays the tuition fees.

It's been posted by a child in a forum so I shouldn't be evil, but it made me laugh 😂

The question was "why so many errors?"

Fun Fact: Did you know that git clone starts a child process for downloading the repo but the parent process terminates, therefore working in an asynchrone way so &&-ing the next instruction, which might rely on those files, won't help you?
Well now you know, and so do I.
Fornicating piece of excrement, what a fun afternoon.

The child in me feels like a 1337 hax0r

Seriously does this master/slave bullshit actually affect everyone here?

From what I’ve seen it’s just a fucking idea / suggestion not a full blown change set being implemented.

Stop fucking over reacting to bubble wrap nonsense, if you want to call it a master/slave relationship then call it a fucking master/slave relationship and be done with it, if this really offends you or you believe political correctness is needed here, go call it something else, at the end of the day it’s still going to be the same thing, just called something else.

Walk into mall, bring my child to kids zone. They have free wifi 🤤
Accessing -> Scanning -> Got Ya! -> Brute Force -> Cracked!
There you're.
Now I can monitoring my kid while reading rant!
Just normal day in my life

A kid I work with referred to himself as a former child genius.

A few hours later and I’m still cringing

"Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist after you grow up. " - Pablo Picasso

So one of my friends has just had a child and it's already a month old...

Was thinking to myself what I've done this past month... Started 4 new projects, cancelled 3 of them already and drank 3 slabs of beer to myself...

Think I know who has had a better time...
*Cries salty Dev tears*

I lost a bet today 😥 ... My surname is inman

I have to name my first born child

put-it

The bet? That apple wouldn't reject the app I submitted ... Fuck apple

Is Santa coming to your house? Use my "advanced" algorithm to find out.

Person kid = getKidByName("yourName");
FatGuy santa = new FatGuy("santa");

if(!kid.wasNaughty()){
System.out.println("Good child");
santa.sendGift(kid, "train");
return;
}
System.out.println("You're on the naughty list");
santa.sendGift(kid, "coal");

I don't know what non-German people do without ubuntuusers.de.
Without this wiki, I probably would know nothing about Linux today. I would have never been introduced to it as a child, would never been able to learn that much, play around with desktop Ubuntu, Raspberry Pis, administrate own servers...
So, thank you, ubuntuusers.de, for helping little Benedikt with Ubuntu in his mother tongue, and making me the Linux enthusiast I am today!

IT Definitions of Designations

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that...a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months

Meanwhile, I wonder what non-tech people would think if they saw my search history.

So since JARVIS (Just a Rather Very Intelligent System) is out.

Only ALFRED is left.

*popular AI child names*

abstract class :
protected virtual void doSomething()
{
//some stuff
}

child class
protected override void doSomething()
{
base.doSomething();

}

IMHO this is what go fuck yourself means.......

Coding is like a love. When it works you will get the feeling same as falling in love with someone. But when it doesn't work you will get the feeling same as broken. And about the final release, it must be a child

Users are losers (most of them).

When you see a post about someone buying a product, well explained and with price and all.
225 comments: How much.. price please..

IT'S THERE ON TOP OF DESCRIPTION YOU STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE, JUST READ, YOU'RE NOT 2 YEARS OLD CHILD GETTING DISTRACTED BY IMAGES

Call me a child, but I still have a love for Lego. Lately, as I have been sorting my childhood collection into individual sets, I needed a way to track how many of each piece I've found for any given set, and started programming a tool that lets me pull Lego set inventories from the internet and keep track of the parts I've found.
This is the first time I've found a problem and built a program to solve it, and it feels so good! :D

(in case anyone is curious, I'm building it in Java as an Android app.)

programmer's child

Reason 47 to use typescript: keyof as a generic param allowing you to reference child properties

Debugging Plex server: streaming a child movie on my phone and tailing the server logs on my flat TV

I had done some light development but always saw myself as a sysadmin, until I was passed over for a job. So when my wife had our second child, I wrote a program to help my department. I got a job as a developer a few weeks later and have been happy ever since then.

Me: Updating the content requires replacing the child.

Person: Uh...

I’m sure many of you are well aware of this, but I just ran across this today and found it amusing. Apparently, Chrome uses the term “zygote” to identify child processes. 😁

A project manager is someone who believes that if he/she joins 9 pregnant women they'll have a child in 1 month

I remember when I was just a child, 6 or 7 I think, my uncle bought a computer and it was a magical thing for me.
When I became a little familiar with it, I told my dad: "I really like to make programs for computer".
And I still like programming.

Dreaming to be an architect as a child, to later discover that the world need precise calculations to work. Moved to 3D modeling, and then discovered Html trying to do a website for my models. From that to Js, Servers, Linux, C#... And the story continues...

Woo-hoo!!! Yoda is in da house! Or to say it in his own words: "Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is."

Conspiracy theory: An Arch user got laid with a vegan and had a child.. the name of which became Nix.
I get it, you use NixOS, great. But what impresses me the most is that its users somehow find a way to sneak it into literally *any* conversation...

Have a child, it's about time. Find a wife first. It's a personal dev project.

Dear "Create a web API with ASP.NET Core" official MS tutorial:

you betrayed me. I came to you like an innocent child and you fucked me over, you abused my trust, forcing me to follow insane instructions leading to no result other than the loss of my childhood and my day.

I feel like a child raped by some perv-priest or monster father.

I had a soul ready for a space walk,
and now I have just a hole full of your cock

When it's late at night and my wife and child have gone to bed and I pull out the laptop to start some code/specification I question my life choices.

Does anyone else wonder why they're driven to do what they do?

I use my windows computer usually for nothing but games. It's even a shared computer with my wife. But today I have to code something for this computer so I installed IntelliJ on it. And when it was done installing, it asked me to reboot the computer.

Honestly, I feel so nostalgic. Like I am a child again. Thank you IntelliJ or reminding me about my childhood.

Things that make me feel like a child:

* Getting access to company computational cluster.

Yay! I got my head wrapped around Vue3 parent / child components and fed the whole thing JSON data loaded via Axios. A small feat perhaps, but it just feels great to still "get" stuff when learning becomes harder as I get older.

Rofl. Used this saying at work. Writing software is like having a child. Make one mistake and you have to support it for the next eighteen years

My project wouldn't need a robust backend language, or even a fancy frontend framework...
With unlimited time and money, I would give every child under the sun the opportunity to stay alive, to have no fear of poverty or illness, and to prosper in their own way. Only one design pattern needed: HOPE...

Today, I say farewell to a piece of software that has shared my professional uprising as a dev, today I let go off an old friend, today i uninstall chrome, after nearly 12 years of dedication, hard work and pain staking performance issues from time to time, you went from the child star that fixed what was wrong with browsers back in 2008, and became the abusive man child that crashes my system when I open you now, so enough with your bullshit.

Today I transfer my things to Edge(chromium) and say farewell old friend, there's only so many BSOD's you can cause just by launching a new tab without hardware acceleration before I can not stand the sight of you anymore.

I wish you a good and stable life, but your creators obviously couldn't give a fuck anymore about being the "light weight and fast" browser you once were.

When I asked to Experienced Senior about cherry pick command in git.

I got 30 Minutes big lecture about Parent-Child Node.

But Cherry Pick, He did not pick for explain. 😡

Only good programmer knows how to make a child with fork.

how to kill child of fork 😂🤔

Old but gold.

True Story, and they named another child: "help I'm stuck in a car license factory" imagine that license

So recently I have this course called Operating Systems and we used putty to connect to a linux server. An assignment was given to fork a child and pass the message through all the children and all that good stuff. The assignment wasn't the hard part, its to deal with the fact that some people just orphan their children. The server is on the verge of death at this point. So.many.tasks.running. Can I wall and tell them to kill their processes ~_~

On a scale of 1-10, how lazy are you when it comes to prototype code?

Me, well I'm a 'fuck it lets just wildcard anything that is a child of a GLib objects'

Don't be like me kids...

EDIT: Yes i know it should have been an override void

One of my websites is under a brute attack.

If I were to redirect failed logins to an illegal website (drugs, child pornography, terrorism support, etc...), will the feds come after me? Or will they go after the attacker?

The story of my life:
Me(as a child): I wanna write content to which people scream while reading. :D
Me(as a grown up): Ended up writing error messages for windows. (._.')

yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"

FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE

How vulgar is your cussing since you became a dev , my commuter had become verbally abused child

Scala is like the teenage child of Java and Python having an identity crisis.

So, first a bit of background:

We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)

On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).

I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.

Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.

Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.

The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.

Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.

When I was made redundant (business I was working for collapsed) 5 days before Xmas and 2 weeks before birth of my first child, with no pay, no redundancy package or anything.

Good times.

I'm at this point where I want to throw a temper tantrum - throw myself on the floor and crying like a child.

Frustrated. Only shit mundane work. Isolation sucks. Health sucks. Everything stinks.

And my willpower is like a candle in the wind.

I know it's not specificly the job, because not everything is mundane. It's my brain and soul poking each other's eyes out.

*scratches head*

Why must everything be so shitty at the moment...

Ok so this is my first rant. I'm 16 years old. Have had some experience with Python and AI and I want to pursue it. But, I'm in class 12 and all my teacher teaches me is how to open a frickin file in python. I mean I have begged her to tach me Django but she's like no no child we only study what's in the syllabus. I mean it's so frustrating

just had to jump through ALL THE HOOPS to get a kid some help in Canada from the US. I can't believe the bullshit involved in reporting child abuse when the victim's in another country... why is there no standard for that? Why does Canada have IP and phone number filters for reporting abuse? Long-distance abuse reports do happen, it's not unheard of at all, so why the fuck would you actively prevent that?

Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.

No way!!! a theme update messed up all my work in a WordPress plugin, I need a way to inherit a theme plugin and edit it using a child plugin, but no, WordPress is completely a piece of shit!!

ps: Grammarly says this rant sounds optimistic.

Q: What did the proud React component say to its child?

A: I've got to give you props

Another year is ending,slowly, without much of a hassle.
Here's to all those performers who are still waiting for the phone to ring, to all those students who thought they would be earning by the year end. Here's to that father who couldn't get his dying child to have one meal with him. Here's to that daughter who could not inform her imprisoned father that she has made it to the final. Here's to that 70 year old man who is still waiting for his son to return from the dead, to that 12 year old child whose parents just split up, to that girl who thought winter would be unbearable. Here's to that silent lover who is yet to tell the girl that he exists, to that girl whose new year text to her crush failed to yield more than a blue tick. Here's to that couple who had their child, to that scientist whose data sets are turning out to be promising, to that scholar who made it to the last of the Interview rounds.
Here's to that cancer patient who went into remission.
Here's to that boy who got a Hi message from his crush, to that girl who is getting married.
Here's to all those promises and resolutions. Once again. The ones we couldn't keep,and the ones we kept. Here's to that promise that our GPA shall rise again,that all the incomplete MOOC courses will someday be done.
Here's to the beauty of fantastic beasts, Star Wars, sense8, Westworld and all the films and TV shows that made us happy.
Here's to life that goes on. Uninterrupted. Fearless. Still.
Happy New Year

Looking for a random pic for work I typed "img" on DuckDuckGo and child pornography appeared.
I sent an email to report the crap, but no reply back.
What should I do more?

Usually my workplace is pretty chill, but today something rantworthy happened!

During code review, I found this guy had styled each element inside his components using nth-child selectors. For instance, in a card the heading was styled by nth-child(1), the text was styled by nth-child(2) and so on... No use of actual fucking classnames.

When I pointed this out, he told me it was actually the better way of doing things because classnames increase the size of the HTML document!

He also claimed proudly that nth-child() is more efficient in performance (idk - anybody can confirm this?)

I'm the only "css guy" there so nobody could second my views. Posting it here so that I can show this to him tomorrow by demonstrating what opinion other css devs have on this and prove my concerns / convince him to change his code.

The dreaded day has come were me eldest daugther now has boy attention coming to the door - but wait whats this ... hes a programmer and a tad bit of a nerd .... seems i raised you well sweet child

Parenting 101. take it or leave it.

Why the fuck someone uses ‘2’ instead of “to” in the C code, for naming. What are you, a child?. I have even seen “cache12store” meaning cache 1 to store...

As a Dev in college working for teams in college, I don't really have a need to use git, since most of 'self proclaimed prestigious programmer child prodigies' I work with have no idea what it is; but I use it anyways as good programming practice and ease of backups.

So I tried using a GUI client after months of the git bash, and even though I looked up a few tutorials (was embarrassed the whole fucking time). I ended up adding, committing and pushing via bash.

Can anyone explain me how is the GUI client helpful in large projects and stuff?

I think it's incredibly sad that one of the first serious discussions I ever have with my child will be how to Google yourself effectively, to do it at least once a week and how to go about getting certain things removed (If you can) 😕

To all the grown up devs. Since you have had quite an experience of naming variables and side projects, did you find it easy to name your own child? 😃

As child: 'When I grew up and earned some money I'm gonna by a full Photoshop-Version.' 😎
Now: 'You cannot buy it fully anymore.' 😫
#ChildhoodDreamsKilledInstantly

I use WordPress for my clients. No prob there. I hate it when I use someone else's paid theme and I have to beat my head against the CSS because they've used a lot of #id and !Important in the main css file.

Makes a child theme almost useless.

How could you explain the purpose of dependency injection to 5 years old child?

While parsing nodes in a graph.
In terms of readability and variable naming, how wrong (if at all) is to use:
1. broNode (for sibling nodes)
2. papaNode / mamaNode (for parent nodes)
3. babyNode (for child nodes)

I sincerely don't know how to review this PR

Wordpress updates > breaks jQuery dependencies
Requests theme update > theme update upgrades database without asking
Database upgrade breaks child theme > spending 30 mins rebuilding the filestructure and database from a backup

Airpods: I'm the favorite child
Beats: no, me
Airpods: NO, YOU'RE ADOPTED

Today in innocent tech conversations that sound dirty because I am a child: "system shuts down on case penetration"

Advice to any child thinking to start coding:

Stay away from everything that is linked with JavaScript

It’s actually been quite a fun day, after some ranting on one of our slack communities flutter channel, myself and my team realized we were in a really good place to give back.

We have been working on a large scale flutter application for about a year, phase 1 is about done and we at 11k LOC.

We have been doing a big push for testing over the last 2 months and are at about 50% coverage. The thing we realized is that is the 1 place flutter has fallen short with documentation.

Very little about what we learned for testing our code came out of a google search, or it came out of cobbling bits together from numerous searches and sources.

So we decided we are going to plan and host a virtual meetup to discuss what we have learned and hopefully teach a few people some useful things and hopefully also learn a few new things too.

In addition, and as it has a longer shelf life, we going to setup a medium publication for the company and start a series to cover small specific topics, specific use cases or scenarios that we had trouble with and solved.

Today I had my first thing to type out, had worked out how to test that a function that was passed into a widget was called. So the parent passes the child and onTap function but you are testing the child not the parent as the child is reusable...

Anyway, so with that idea I got hold of marketing for some assets, setup the publication and proceeded to type out 3 articles today, all nice short ones under 2 min reading time.

It really is nice to give back, it’s not like I am Remi smart and can go and write BLoC, but I am smart enough to figure shit out and type it up so that the next guy hopefully benefits from my brain bashing.

Just curious, does anyone actually get triggered by master/slave terminology, whitelist/blacklist, etc? I personally found it weird when my professor talked about parents killing off their child when discussing data structures. Imagine non CS students walking by the classroom

Hate when one of the devs get personally offended cause I log some bugs about his part of the app.. I know it is your child, nothing about you, it's a bit retarded, and doesn't do well with other kids.. :/

That feeling of giving birth to a child, when the pull request on which we are working for a week is finally merged into master. 😂😂

We were having a 30 min discussion about differed tasks and how to kill children spawned by a specific parent if the so said parent is killed, and if in a situation where keeping a parent alive is irrelevant if a child fails, should the child kill the parent and the other children?
Also if a family of tasks spawned from the same parents were canceled, should should I just kill myself or do I take care of the others first?
Or should I concentrate on killing the tasks instead? Which one is easier?

Just another day, building some hearty data structures in C.
I need to make a program that can multiplex user IO to different child processes from the command line.

My dad. he inspires me to explore the computer world because he opened a computer service center when i was a kid. i followed him since then. but the only difference is i know a lot of coding than he does.

i'm very different than my other siblings who pursue career in medical world. that made me asked myself whether or not I'm adopted lol.

My sister is 8 and here's what she told me a couple of days ago

My sis: I can't watch youtube!
Me: yeah, the intranets down.
My sis after 5 min: Google is not working.

This just proves that 1-2-3 graders don't know a fadoodle of what the internet is...

You know a server is having a jolly'ol time when, while logging through the serial console, it lags... Then, a few seconds later, you get a message

[time.seconds] Out of memory: Kill process PID (login) score 0 or sacrifice child
[time.seconds] Killed process PID (login) total-vm:65400kB, anon-rss:488kB, file-rss:0kB

10/10, only way to bring the server back to life was by a hard-reset :|

My latest project is overhauling a WP site my company outsourced to a local "development" company. Why is development in quotes you may ask? Because their idea of development is about 30 plugins and minor changes to a theme. The only saving grace here is that they used a child theme.

#just a thought
The child that is the most curious will grow up to be most boring person.

Why?
Since most other children of his age would be doing random and a lot of things without questioning , he would be struck in his simple world of 'why this happens' , therby limiting him to one but deep knowledge of a field.

And even if not , being curious leads to answers of little mysteries ignored by ususal ppl. Therefore, this boy with lots of knowledge will be "boring, coz he always have some right things to say".

Thus a child can either don't care and do whatever his authority wants from him without questioning, and grow into a likeable, social adult, or be curious , learn in deep and grow out to be a specially awkward person

"Our supplier asks that you double the number of php child processes for this fpm pool"

"Are you aware, that that would lead to about 100% of memory overcommit, taken the current limit of 128MB/child, and that if a lot of them started at once, the system would probably go for OOM-Kill, which would most probably kill your database, that still runs on 100% MyISAM tables that do not support transactions, and you'd have to kiss your data integrity goodbye, right?"

"Uh... Nevermind then"

I get that some people are not IT-versed, but really... Hire someone who knows what they are doing and doesn't live 20 years in the past, god damn it!

After 2 days of trying to understand unclear requirements I got for a new project... I discover my boss wrote them....

From the description, it read like he flipped it around from what he actually wanted (there's a difference between parent-children and child-parent)

And he always gave me the feeling that he had gotten it from some business team so I spent 2 days trying to figure out who wrote these requirements so I could ask them.

FML....

I've started at school, but thinking about it since I were a child (10/11 YO) thanks to Crash Bandicoot!!
Damn, I've loved that game! And since then, I've dreamed about becoming a"videogame programmer", then I've found out that developing it's funny too, so for the moment I develop every time I can, one day I'll do my course to become a gameDev :D

I just styled something that appears to be an "parent" style change when a certain "child" was hovered.

Vanilla CSS. I think I've seen it all now.
My brain is spaghetti right now 🤪

My CS Teacher's child was apparently born today, I'm gonna suggest X-AE-A12.

Hm... Not a big follower on this issue but just a thought... at 3am...

master/slave: not ok
god/mortals: ok
parent/child: ok

hey devrant here's an idea for a child company DevDate,
a dating site just for developers

Ugh a blue screen of death. I used to be terrified of them when I was a child 😐

I just can't get my head around it. How could a "language" like cmake become so widely used and popular? Let alone be the horrible syntax or the documentation which is an insult to anyone who is trying to read it.

I mean seriously??: " function_xyz( PARAM1 PARAM2 PARAM3) : for this use case A pass the keyword A and the words X Y Z, for use case B pass the keyword B and the words A B C you can also add the keyword D simply to increase the number of possible behaviours this stupid function can have."

But yeah i get it, it's free its cross platform and so on.

But how can after version 10000000.1, after adding dozens of "macros or functions" the most simplest and straight forward use case without any fucking thirdparties be so fucking difficult to implement.

And why are there for any use case 50 different ways of doing it? instead of one simple way?

Really, I just don't get it.

So today's the day the child leaves the babysitter.

Today's the fucking day that I learn why the fuck everybody says date's are a fucking headache. Or was it yesterday? I don't know.

Fucking dates, timezones, time calculations...

My opinion on Spotify introducing parental controls:

As a software engineer
When I see a track labeled as Explicit
Then I know it's a piece of p**s to filter out that track if a child is logged in.

I just got a flashback to my first HTML homepage.

I got the chills.

I think that Gamification in workplace is a bad ideia. It makes me feel like the company does not respect me and is treating me like a child with silly games.

Anything but the children!

When the OS literature teaches you that processes aren't cows since cows needs two parents to spawn a child while a process only needs one.

I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();

"Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it." - Julia Child

Asking my mum to answer the child safety questions to Leisure Suit Larry.
"Here you go. Oh that looks fun.."
"Can you go now?"
-- I was 6.

Naming a child Jason... Maybe... You know child.json 😋

Sometimes I get amazed about how CSS allows this kind of things:

.searchandfilter ul li:nth-child(1) ul li:nth-child(1) {
display: none;
}

Working on a big project with lots of legacy code and terrible code. Full of jewels like this:

$('.form-item-to input').parent().removeClass('isOpen');

Man... .form-item-to IS the immediate, direct and only parent of the only input child!!!

"I represent the public opinion" and other funny jokes Axel Voss, tells while he gets money jammed insides his ass.

I hope I don't get a copy strike for using his joke.

But seriously, the numbers in the articles he tries to promote must be a the number of times he was dropped on the head as a child. On a daily basis I suppose

This feeling when you realize that better option is go to work than interrupting your sleep for the sixteenth time because your child is not sleeping at 2 am.

parent and child process

I remember when I was child spent a los of time playing Mario. I think I started to code cause my love to videogames.

I need your advices!
Some good resources for teaching child and prepare them for programming and logical/critical thinking?

be like a java parent class : handle all the background shit happening so as to provide the children a safe environment to grow and do their thing. A child involved in dealing with the home crisis won't be as efficient and is bound to break at some point

Being in a team with a cocky child

Recently we created a Slack team with co-workers and our boss. Everybody was shocked when we saw his username. It is "armageddon". Like a fucking gamer child.

I read once "productivity is elimination of distractions" or something like that.
And honestly, it has worked so far.

Motivation is even better tho. But if I'm really unmotivated, or anxious, I subconsciously create distractions; then I have to deal with me inner child. Point is, motivation has a direct line to productivity, so I usually don't do what I can't bring yourself to do.

Went to boarding school in England and our physics/maths teacher was a Cambridge graduate. Real bad sense of humor, probably took a bath once a month and wore the same suit all year. Skinny, glasses, clean shaven and ate Marmite and boiled eggs every day. Poster child for nerd world but boy did this guy help advance my math skills and love for physics.

It started with 30min max per week on spieleaffe (child game site) on our oldish slow HP windows vista machine.

We also had an even older pc at elementary school.

A year or two later I got that family Pc when we got a new laptop for our family.

The following years I had two laptop generations.

"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."

WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Ahhhhhhhh Welp
I don't use uppercase letters but special symbols. But sure, fuck @#€&-(/?;:'"* and all the other ones. What a brain dead, face fucked moron came up with this.

I am waiting for the day a dipshit like that starts working in a hospital, forcing to name my child "BrIaN666".

You know how wonderful it is to hear a child talk for the first few times? Then, once they get the gist of it, how they endlessly rattle on with worthless stuff - eventually saying something interesting, but really don't have a single idea what the fuck they're talking about?

That's Disney.