Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B

Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday

Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.

Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority

Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too

Dev: I know, it’s next on my board

Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it

Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board

Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A

Dev: Yup it’s next up

Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you

Dev: …

It's cool.

I have less than four weeks before I have to have my project production ready

But why not make me waste my time in useless web based fucking trainings for bullshit HR issues I'll never deal with.

"Don't give gifts of more than $100 to potential clients!" Shut fuck up I don't work with clients.

Piss off and let me do my job.

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

We Use LINUX ✌

One of my friend does this legendary thing in exam😂

Haven't we all faced this?
#projectmanager

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

How I feel as an intern

Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
Friend: english
Me: ...

Reading other people's code.

Hey guys...this is my current Ubuntu GNOME desktop . What do you guys think ???

Say GNU/LINUX !

Movie hacking vs Real hacking
Credits: SMBC comics

#OverclockTheUNIXDjango

Every Dev vacancy should be like this and I mean EVERY! weed out the fucking posers

sudo remove stress

Coding is life ♥

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.

Almost every single meeting

Programming fact....

I laughed at how in the movies hacking is portrayed as some person clicking a lot buttons really quickly in a very flashy UI. There's a picture of America and sometimes there's a 3d model rotating for no good reason or a bunch of random numbers floating across the screen. They use random hacking related terms like: backdoor, DDoS...etc in their sentences.

At least they did their research...

What a genius way to print numbers.

Inventor of BitTorrent

Best random algorithm

I saw a rant about overtime or staying late if your boss is still at the office.

It's the same in a(lmost all i think) Japanese Company.

9:00-18:00 work schedule.

Come in earlier than your boss before actual work schedule.

Go home after your boss after the actual work schedule.

There's no more work to be done and they think you going home early weren't doing enough work and shit.

Good think i left that company.

working on a better captcha...

Hello world

please contact god for detail information

When you see it..

There is so much wrong with that code...