A perfect date for a Programmer !!

So I just got rejected for a job for being too introverted.

They were very impressed with my advanced and broad technical knowledge but they said I'm "too introverted to hang out with cool, young people". That's ageism and that's illegal. Anyway.

I have more knowledge than most senior specialist devs (I've worked with them and I know them) but just because I'm a reserved and thinking person, I'm not welcome in this society of idiots and I don't get a job.

Two words: fuck society.

Please consider my questions StackOverflow 😭

made my day

Small agency, wants to try out some voice tech. Bought a Google AIY to get started, found some limits, worked round them.

Junior developer thought it would be fun to 'teach' it to swear.

Played around with some nice dialogflow intents, etc and got it all working.

Looking pretty good, loaded it with some quippy answers and case studies to show off our services.

Just got in to find out the boss has taken it to a presentation to a client about some of the new stuff we're doing... Now we are all sitting here waiting to see how many of us have a job tomorrow :-/

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

If you see someone coding at mcdonalds, starbucks etc.

"Excuse me, would you like a fork for that spaghetti"

Boss: I saw your last commit, great work!
Dev: But... You told me to delete all the features I added...
Boss: Yes, fantastic improvements!

My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.

My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.

My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.

But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.

Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.

Mission accomplished 😎

How programmers comment their code

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

Go big or go home.

Machine Learning messed up!

Wait... Why didn't anyone thought about that?

To all the people giving advice in my previous rant (https://devrant.com/rants/1627035/...), thanks!

I've spent a weekend running high and naked through the forest, and decided to quit my job.

Fuck PHP. Fuck Laravel. Fuck hipster startup companies. Rasmus Lerdorf, Taylor Otwell and my CEO can all go suck each other's cocks in a sloppy mess of saliva, cum and type errors.

I'm so sick of spinach smoothies and weakly typed languages. All active record ORMs are retarded, VueJS is worse than JQuery, Fatal error: Call to a member function iHatePHP() on null. WHY DOES PHP EVEN HAVE METAPROGAMMING METHODS, WHY THE FUCK DOES LARAVEL CHOOSE EASY OVER SAFE.

I'm going to use my heavily abused Macbook to surf out of this mess, on a collapsing wave of unresolved bugs.

On to the next PHP/Laravel job at a hipster startup!

*at my study a year or longer ago*

Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠

😅

My morale

I'm tired of such job offers.

Got the iPhone.

(Personal opinion)

Holy shit iOS is veeery unintuitive 😡

And how fucking difficult can you make a fucking phone setup process?!

I’ll be happy when I can sell this fucker.

NO IOS, I DONT WANT TO SETUP A FUCKING TOUCH ID. I DONT FUCKING TRUST YOU WITH MY FUCKING BIOMETRIC DATA AND I DONT WANT TO GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT SETTING IT UP EVERY FUCKING HOUR.

"enter Phone number"
"numbers not allowed"

Finally I have something to rant about.

DRY in command line..

1. Forgot my password.
2. Clicked "Forgot" password button.
3. Received my forgotten password as plain text in my email

clients union

The secret to less stress!

Day after the weekend. 😂

Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB

Hey everyone,

@trogus and I have been working on some cool devRant features that we're going to be launching very soon. In addition, as some might remember from a recent discussion, we're trying to bring in some more revenue (so we can at least break even) to avoid having to think about advertisements in the app. To do that, we're brainstorming possible useful add-on features maybe that we can offer to devRant++ members, or possibly offer for a different plan or as a complimentary product (under the devRant umbrella, but separate in terms of where it's accessed.)

If you have a few minutes, we'd appreciate some feedback by taking this survey @trogus put together: https://surveymonkey.com/r/DT9MKVN/

Also feel free to discuss here too if you want, and thanks everyone!

Internet has been saved in Europe... for now...

EU Parliament voted against the new Copyright directive.

https://politico.eu/article/...

👏👏👏