Hahahaha

*Manager enters the room quickly*

Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).

Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?

Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !

Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.

*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*

Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?

Manager: Sure, here it is.

Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.

Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks

Is there a programming language or library that lets you customize the shit out of it? Something like C++ templates but with special symbols as custom operators?

The company behind ads on dutch national news sites/tv stations is stopping with tracking ads.

The interesting reason behind that IMO is that they have this very simple 'banner' which asks in a very understandable way whether people want (or not) tracking shit/cookies placed/loaded on their browser.

Apparently 90% of all visitors go for the "No" option so they don't see the point in continuing to try it anymore.

Awesome!

Before iPads took over the general population of home computing, I used to do house calls to help people with their computers for some extra folding money. One day I get a call from a regular saying that ever since I last worked on his computer it won't stay on.

He says it comes on for a few seconds, then just shuts down. It never did that before I upgraded the RAM.

So I drive over to his house and turn on the computer. He says, "See, it starts fine, but in a few seconds it'll just shut off. Just watch"

The computer boots up without any issues.

He says, "Well, of course it doesn't do it now that you're here!"

I reboot it a few times, boots fine every time. Suddenly I realize what's going on. I say to him, "Hey, why don't you try turning it on for me?"

He says, "What difference will that make?"

I say, "Just trust me, turn it on."

He bends down, presses the power button, looks up at the monitor and watches it boot. But he doesn't release the button! He just keeps holding it down until it shuts off.

"See!" he says, "why does it only do that when I turn it on!"

I then have to explain to him how holding down the power button forces a shutdown.

But, it never did that before I worked on it!

This is 2020. All these companies should know BSc in computer science doesn't mean shit to software development

Donald Trump is influencing developers

Wtf?

And that was the world's leading professional social network, ladies and gentleman!

Someone had to do it

Digital Marketing is for kids!
Legends do meme marketing!

More Timezones

My CTO gave me the "designer of the year" - award, after I successfully replaced the logo from a provided template html file.

Doesn't matter.

lol...

Twitter CEO: I mainly use DuckDuckGo instead of Google.

Me: Just birds supporting each other 🙄

Me: Why are all the devs leaving work early!?

Other devs: Microsoft Services are down.

Me: Okay I'll start packing.

[Interviewer] : How would you use MySQL?

[Student] : your SQL? Can I get mine so that I can use it?

[Interviewer] * confused what to say *

Every damn night!

I just wanna show you guys our branches.

Client: The webpage has been inaccessible all weekend!!

Me: Oh you mean the page you need to have a VPN connection to access?

Client: Yes that one!

Me: Are you connected to the VPN?

Client: Oh...no I'm not. *connects to VPN* Its working now.

Windows vs Mac vs Linux

GG Git well played. RIP Vim

Well these are the EA devs..

(Its Command and Conquer: Rivals..)

Oh boy 😕

My dad used to be a Marketing Manager. He used to make a lot of presentations et al for his meetings. We got our first computer in our house when I was around 7 years old. It was first Windows 95, but I wasn't fortunate enough to even touch the machine. My dad was very protective about the machine. He himself would not use it unless he had to complete some work overnight. For me, it was an absolute wonder as to how and what that thing in the bedroom sitting on the desk next to my parents bedside was. I used to hide and peek around the door sill when my dad was working on it. He became a bit more lenient with the Windows 98 and let me and my sibling play DOS games under his supervision for a limited time.

Over time, I managed to look over his shoulder for the passwords - both BIOS and OS user passwords and started logging in myself. By now, my dad would let me sit on the bed near him when I looked curiously as he worked. Then I had to figure how to connect to the internet and surf the web. And there folks is how my journey with computers began.

Once I became a programmer I joined the dark side
Everything I use is in dark theme.

Android Studio

So,
Acer has a corrupt BIOS,
Lenovo is a bug fest,
HP supposedly also sucks.

So which brand of laptop does not suck?

When the developers are too lazy to provide a description.

Testing in prod.
On Friday evening.
Before long holiday.

Because why not.