I login this morning

Everyone going crazy as prod is broken in a million ways. 2.5 million exceptions In 24 hours.

We talk for 1 hour and solve nothing.

I diagnose the 2 biggest sources of exceptions and explain every step I took with screen snippets to reach my conclusions

The one other competent person on my team agrees. Otherwise complete silence.

I'm told not to fix the issue because I am leaving in 6 weeks and other people have to start taking responsibility.

No one fixes the issues. Instead they leave early. Now it's the weekend and the product is fucked.

Fucking useless people. Can't wait to leave.

I started to work in a new project for a house architect, basically a management system for his studio. Well, guess what? Twenty years ago he programmed some sort of software using BASIC, and of course that means he knows exactly how software works!

Worst kind of stakeholder, like going to the doctor and telling them how to diagnose, because you used a thermostat once.

!dev but still rant

So I'm a photocopier technician by day, alcoholic coder by night. Just spent 3 fucking hours trying to diagnose a black line on print outs, checked drums, dev units, toner cartridges, fusing unit, everything...

Called up one of the guys I work with and they said to come back with some samples to try and pin it down...

I turn around to leave and remember I didn't check the transfer belt and lo and behold it isn't cleaning and is smearing the paper...

3 fucking hours to work out such a simple error, I've had program breaking bugs diagnosed and fixed by then... ugh -.-

Here it is: get MythTV up and running.

In one corner, building from source, the granddaddy Debian!

In the other, prebuilt and ready to download, the meek but feisty Xubuntu!

Debian gets an early start, knowing that compiling on a single core VM won't break any records, and sends the compiler to work with a deft make command!

Xubuntu, relying on its user friendly nature, gets up and running quickly and starts the download. This is where the high-bandwidth internet really works in her favor!

Debian is still compiling as Xubuntu zooms past, and is ready to run!

MythTV backend setup leads her down a few dark alleys, such as asking where to put directories and then not making them, but she comes out fine!

Oh no! After choosing a country and language the frontend commit suicide with no error message! A huge blow to Xubuntu as this will take hours to diagnose!

Meanwhile, Debian sits in his corner, quietly chugging away on millions of lines of C++...

Xubuntu looks lost... And Debian is finished compiling! He's ready to install!

Who will win? Stay tuned to find out!

Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.

X page doesn't work.

Great information there what about the page isn't working?

Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.

If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.

Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.

What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.

If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.

Finally completed filing a claim for my laptop today. Been putting it off for months because it requires a call from a SquareTrade "specialist" to help diagnose your problem before a claim is finalized...

Me: "Hey I've received a box from you guys that was far too small for my [gaming] laptop both times I've sent this in and wanted to be sure I get the right size this time"

Specialist: "Oh, we've made some pretty big changes since you last filed a claim, we now base the size of the box we send you on the model of the device"

Me: .... what were they basing the size on before..?

Strap in...

- Previous employer
- 3rd party partner firm
- integration link between both over SOAP
- Both sides riddled with poor code and messed up political structures (partner firm CEO is an investor in my employer)
- Doing a deployment to update to https (I know)
- Keep http endpoint live
- Other side starts shitting itself
- Diagnose
- Not us
- feelsgoodman.tiff
- Get angry email
- Explain not us
- Back and forth
- Tell client it’s “irrelevant” on https issue, it’s their side that’s gone wrong
- Get angry reply with boss cc’d about how nothing is “irrelevant” for the client
- We all had to have a make up meeting and meal
- Client was calm and reasonable, all agreed we just snapped and it wouldn’t happen again
- 2 weeks later
- Their system shits itself again and suddenly we’re on the hook
- BA on my team (smarmy little bastard) constantly fucking me off
- Get so close to actually screaming and hitting him

So yeah. I don’t tend to hold that a job is more important to me than my dignity.

I have and will never hold my tongue for the sake of a job, I’m not gonna put up with people shouting / belittling / backstabbing etc.

I sometimes feel like some people's comments on devrant are enough for a mental health crisis diagnosis. I wonder, how can we diagnose people through text? And can, let's say, ML do any better.

I mean; let's say for example abusive behaviors. This may be an online community but that doesn't stop some from abusing others, right? But the only form of communication here is text, right? What if you could diagnose... Not even that. What if you could inform a mental health expert about a toxic behavior online? We do have a lot of "internet policing" but we have no "internet mental health help" for toxic behaviors and attempts to mitigate that. I don't mean banning people. I mean literally in simplest form tag a psychotherapist in the convo.

Just thinking. :)

I like to build, tinker, and create with code.

That doesn’t mean I like to fix your computer, diagnose your internet issues, teach you to use your desktop UI, or google the same question you asked me to show you google has the answer 😑

I built an expert system (what we used to think of as AI back then) that could read the circuit diagram of a complex electronic circuit, figure out what it was meant to do, and set up the test gear to test it and diagnose manufacturing errors.
In 1985, using Vax/VMS and OPS5.

More recently, I was on a project (can't claim to have done it all myself this time) that used a neural network to detect patients in a care home that fell over/fell out of bed and alert the nurses' station.

Et tu Chrome?

Closing a tab should kill it.

I writes code, my code somehow causes an endless loop, tab gets at 25% i7 CPU.

I tells Chrome: "end it", Chrome won't close.

I wants to see under the hood to diagnose, Chrome unresponsive, forget about DevTools.

I Ctrl + Alt + Dels it

Sad Windows user

How are Coding Bootcamps and what are they like?

A little background:

I’ve been going to a University (have a year left for a CS degree) and I am so EXTREMELY frustrated. I thought I would get an education but it’s so underwhelming. 95% of it doesn’t involve programming and the classes that do are so elementary that I know more than the professors. By the end of my web design course we had been taught to center text, insert images, insert links, and how to use tables with a single day on CSS using colors.
The OOP courses are all the same, learn variables, types, conditionals, loops, classes, functions, and so forth. Python, C++, and Java. I taught all this to myself when I was 15, I’m 29 now.

I’ve recently gotten extremely interested into full stack web development. .NET Core, React, Typescript. I’m also working with Electron. I’m basically 100% self taught and spend almost every waking moment trying to learn more and apply it.

There’s only one person at my school who has the same passion as me and he’s the president at the coding club but is going into machine learning and big data (I’m the Secretary) and I just wish I could interact with more people who have the same passion. I would love to be challenged. I feel as if I spend more time trying to learn and diagnose problems then applying my knowledge because web development is so complicated when it comes to connecting everything together and I’m still relatively new to it (started like 4 months ago). I’m an extremely fast learner and extremely dedicated so I’m not worried about that being an issue.

I just really want to be a part of a community where I have people who can answer my questions and I don’t have to spend hours or days on google finding a solution to integrating Webpack or using typescript with react, and more. I want to feel challenged.

Can I get this from a boot camp? I recently listened to a podcast from Syntax and it really excited me but I don’t want to be let down again. Either way I’m finishing my degree to get that bullshit $60000 piece of paper but I wouldn’t mind taking a couple months off for something like this if it’s worth it.

I live in CO so if you have any Bootcamps in CO that you recommend, I’d love to hear it and take a trip to check it out in person.

Thanks a bunch!

So i work in support (do dev stuff in my own time). Spent 3 months seconded to another team supporting in project clients.

First issue i had in that team was a client with serious data issues which took about 30 hours +/- to diagnose and write some scripts to resolve.

After they went live and got handed over to support they had the same issue again but instead of support picking it up they sat on it till i came back on Monday.

Ive spent about another 10 hours or so picking through audit logs. I get all the shit no one else can either be bothered or capable of doing and to top it off i didnt get the promotion i was going for because i hadnt closed enough tickets, because they keep giving me all the shit to fix for everybody else

Those little assholes who code the web interfaces for the provider specific router. You also can't replace it with a fritzbox or something similar.

1. Password field only
2. Password field is no password field
3. This red internet thing doesn't tell me what's fucking wrong
4. The "diagnose" says everything is alright with my internet
5. It always complains because not every device in my network supports gigabit yet (there is an old switch). No reason to show everything in fucking red imo.
6. The things it lists I have to check can be and also should be checked by the fucking thing itself. Like wtf. They wanted a lot of money from me for this shitty thing and there is no temperature sensor to check if it's too hot.
7. It just stops working on hot days... Restart manually solves it. Let's restart manually from work when I have to access my files on my NAS from fucking 40 km away..

(see comments for more screenshots)

Teachers painfully trying to diagnose internet problems when it literally says in the corner of the windows 7 install that the WiFi credentials are incorrect

Urgh clients, it doesn't work ? Ok how bout you tell me the error that's causing it and I might be able to help

All I get is it does nothing 😐

And you think I can diagnose a problem that apparently does nothing, from at least 10miles away with no remote desktop 😞

I makes a React mistake, alright I is fool.

I caused an endless loop, but Chrome won't let me diagnose it, because when you have an endless loop, you can't close the tab, can't open devtools, can't debug to find the source.

Oh DevRant community, I've come seeking for help and wisdom.
In my university the basic programming course uses Java and it's getting a bit outdated. The class has a lot of resources, like online videos and examples, but teachers from other departments say that the class doesn't teach students correctly.
I'm a student at that university, and I'm working in a group tasked to diagnose the class and seek for possible solutions. I need to know if some of you know about tools used to teach programming and algorithmic thinking in an interesting way at a university level. Something like Scratch or Karel, but for university students. If you have an example university I would love that!

Well Django, I think I've fucking HAD IT WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHIT ALREADY.
./manage.py shell
In [1]: from inventory.models import ProductLine

In [2]: ProductLine
Out[2]: inventory.models.ProductLine

In [3]: ProductLine.objects
Out[3]: <django.db.models.manager.Manager at 0x7f03e23017b8>

SO WHY IN THE FUCKING FUCK DO I GET

"""
, in ProductLineViewSet
queryset = ProductLine.objects.all()
AttributeError: type object 'ProductLine' has no attribute 'objects'
"""

FUCK ME

I hope I just FORGET I am a programmer, wake up tomorrow free to go work at fucking McDonalds and die in mediocritity anyway. FIANLYL Get to catch up on fucking work and I have to diagnose this inane fuckign django model problem that I dont fucking see anywhere on google, SO, etc right now

Best I can find are all like "You've probably defined something else called <model class name> in that file." But Grep and I sure as fucking tits can't find it!!!!!

Time to fucking make an exact copy of everything but change it to ProductLine2 and watch it all work perfectly fucking hell am I really this stupid or am I going to eventually find a bug after hours of GETTING FUCKING NO WHERE OMN THE STRUPIDEST FUCKING SHUIT IVE EVER SEEN FUCK ME

How do you diagnose speed issues?

I've been lumped with looking after a legacy app.

It connects to our ERP system to handle raising invoices etc. And in June is developed slowness, which we sort of fixed by making one section load later (the SQL was a horrible view in a view in a view).

We then upgraded our ERP software, and the SQL issues are resolved (had to upgrade SQL server etc at the same time) and now the legacy app is running really slowly.

I know that it is when it loops through a data set to set column values etc.

A particular project has 1900 time transactions and takes upto 2 minutes to load.

This part of the program hasn't been changed in over a year, and has only started running slowly since the upgrade.

Are there any good way I can investigate and diagnose exactly why it has suddenly started running slowly?

Best way to diagnose a bug: get a great night of sleep.

I hate the company (agency) I moved to...I've negotiated good pay and the project for cutting edge medical product which will change the world (cancer diagnose and it actually works).

Now the dark side I've got shit tier laptop which I don't want, overtime is payed 30% less, all the people in the agency from development team don't know shit and are mostly I would call them juniors (of course who would with enough seniority work with shit hardware and almost not payed overtime), only tap water and since this is the old part of town you instantly get sick, they treat people like shit.

The product dark side. We are actually working on crm for doctors to input patient data, we cannot have any real data because we are the agency people, product is being led by the guy who has 0 production experience (they choose the database basically with coin toss and emulated the mongodb in postgress with jsnob, they don't know how to build their own auth system hence my previous rant about b2c, they are using cognito and now moving to auth0 which probably won't fit their need because a lot of stuff needs to be custom), they are choosing every hipe tech out there without any prior experience. It's chaos...

I'm trying to guide them but i think this will be a huge expensive failure and that i need to leave asap.

There I feel better now, moral of the story, choose startups wisely.

Today I have learnt how important versioning is, changing half the program to diagnose an issue only to realise that you were making a typo and changing the wrong control. Time to ctrl+z.

I’ve been at this issue at work for four days now and no progress and I feel really bad because we have important stories to pick up and I feel I’m wasting my capacity like this because I haven’t fixed it. Basically, only in our QA environment (one before production) our services is not acknowledging duplicate events posted by Kafka, thus keeps reprocessing them. I’ve spent so long trying to diagnose the code, which is the same in all envs currently, seeing how this suddenly occurred, restarted things, went through complications of using different tools, asked for help from others a lot but IVE gotten NOWHERE. Idr wanna say to my team that I should prioritise other things because we have deadlines but I feel this issue is important to fix but I just can’t figure out how. Now I’m worried this whole sprint will go without me doing anything and then fingers pointed at me later

I'm currently working on a dynamics CRM project which has been going on for almost a year, we're on week 19 of defect rectification brought on by a mixture of the clients abysmal testing and spec writing and the pain of debugging in Dynamics.

This project has left me emotionally and physically drained. I used to love where I worked and the guys I worked with but right now I'm the lowest I've felt in a long time.

I have autism and I really struggle with situations I have little control over, I also pride myself on being able to diagnose and fix problems quickly, I've been working on the same 2 bugs for the last 3 week's. I squashed one on Friday but this other one is persistent and I feel like it's killing me.

I've mentioned my low mood to my boss who could only say "It will be over soon". Well I was supposed to be transferred to a new none dynamics project in September, but yeah that didn't happen.

I really enjoy Angular and I've found this long project has caused my skills in it to rust to the point where even the most basic elements are a struggle.

I hate Dynamics and I hate the prospect of going in tomorrow and facing it again.

So, an employee at work told me that her daughter's laptop is acting strange and I said I would diagnose it for her. I was suppose to do it today but, her daughter left it at school, so I am going to work on it Saturday.

I was wondering, how much should I charge her if I wanted to get payed?

Error reporting. Yeah it is a pain to come up with something that users will understand. As devs we need meaningful stacktraces so we can diagnose the problem but the normal person doesn't care. Also not having consistent messages looks terrible for the user's experience.

I hate it when there is no standardized error messages and/or json structure between teams or individual members of said teams. Why should we have 10+ different structures to code for in our apps? There is RFC 7807 for a reason. It has a defined structure plus accounts for custom properties. If you are a c# developer, check out the ProblemDetails class. It has made my life easier and I can guarantee everyone that all of my team's projects return this structure.

Damn computer.
Hey guys!
Have a problem with my custom made desktop.
On games, after 5, 10, 20 minutes the PC freezes and I have to restart.
It's not the graphics card, but I think the CPU is overheating.
It's a new i5 8gen Hexacore, shouldn't be overheating.
Any tools I could use to diagnose what is happening?
Thanks

When you're doing someone a favor by looking at their PC and you diagnose what causes the issues and you try to explain them & then they tell you its not the problem cause they googled what it was.....

Count.. To.. Ten..

!rant

You know, for the first time, I have had issues diagnosing an error (due to not having slept in about 75 hours due to the CEO slamming down on me to finish a project), and I posted on a forum. First time doing that, and they are fucking useless.

I may as well have delved into google and tries to diagnose the error. Done so, but you now what I find? People with the same fucking error, but no fucking resolution.

Stupid issue is a desktop support one, bloody Ubuntu won't install (gives me a shitty error and then loops back to installation post restart of my laptop. More than sure it has something to do with my graphics card).

Laptop decided to crash at the last moment, hence me installing Ubuntu again. Fucking errors, fucking help forums not helping, and fucking tiredness. On the plus side, coffee has kept me going longer than I thought.

Someone else had to work with that turd of WSO2 Enterprise Service Bus?
I hate everything of it: its fucking buggy IDE (a lazy fork of Eclipse in which they didn't even bothered to replace the Eclipse icon), its cryptic XML language which makes basic operations such as accessing a JSON field a complete PITA, its fragility (often syntax errors doesn't get caught by the compiler but causes runtime errors which are hard to diagnose) its shitty testability...

Friend : Dude I think I've found the bug we've been trying to diagnose all yesterday

Me : you've got my attention . *excited*
Opens laptop.
Dual boot screen shows up.
Hmm my external WiFi adapter doesn't work on arch , time for windows
Opens windows.

Windows: Booting.
Are you sure you want to update now ?
Nvm. Updating now.
Shutting down . windows is performing some updates .

Me : fuck my life

Before he began dropping the 20K proposed to remodel my flat, I told my father I much preferred a contractor who was recommended by someone I knew, as opposed to using a big corporation like Home Depot. FAMOUS LAST... a neighbour in my building highly recommended the contractor we chose. And, week 7 [or is it 8?] of what was proposed to take no longer than two weeks has begun afresh!
On Friday the fellow who is the owner of the contract remodeling company was here touching the paint. He was here because I forbade the two painters he sent to do the initial painting job.
My internet cut out suddenly around 1300 Friday. He set to leave for the weekend shortly after that. I mentioned the outage to him. The essence of his reply was that there was no way it could have had anything to do with him. The following day, my internet provider sent a tech out to diagnose the problem. What was the problem? The head of the remodeling firm removed a face plate from the wall where there were telephone wires and disconnect them when he tore the wires as he replaced the face plate.
Although the tech told me he wasn't going to charge my account the $85.00 fee for his services because the outage was caused within my flat, I wish to be sure of this. Which brings us to the punchline.
My internet provider is a lame ass business model, dreamed up by a squint-eyed ex-circus monkey, never well endowed in the top story, and now just plain sad.
There were some 911 outages in Washington State last Thursday night. All during the day Friday when you dialled their freephone #. the recorded announcement, before saying anything else, told you they were experiencing heavier than usual call volumes, and my wait would be greater than `10 minutes. Fine. What fried my La Croix silk was that after their customer service dept closed for the weekend, that outgoing message remained.
Today, I wanted to contact my provider to see if they would know if the $ was going to be charged to my account. After pressing the 'send' key, my computer came back with an error message, saying they were having technical difficulties. So, I went on over to the 'chat' page. There's nothing to click on to take me to this enfabled location. So, can't reach them by phone unless I want to hear, every 30 seconds whether or not I wish to, how sorry they are for my delay.
A few years ago I would've used this as an excuse to have a technicolour meltdown. The reason I'm posting this is that I am now able to see beforehand what I'll be doing to myself getting upset over the circumstances. When I do reach somebody, I'm going to tell them as lightly as possible, that if they were an airline, I wouldn't board any of their aircraft. Ever.