Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?

Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.

Credit: thecrazyprogrammer

Unpopular opinion: I like JavaScript.

Current level at Microsoft

@NickyBones I hope you get that PHD
@F1973 I hope you get that good position in a good company you deserve
@theabbie I hope you wake up one day and realize you’re a well-respected expert in your field
@Root I hope you... ah, already bought it
@lor-inc I hope that thing was just fatigue and not a mental illness

@SortOfTested? As one guy once said “@SortOfTested got everything figured out”.

PhD application saga:

So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.

And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.

But now, we shall wait...

🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*

Internet explorer: Microsoft acquire github!

Today at work I saw 2 tech guys (Russians) that tried to fix an audio system at my hospital clinic.

The PL-3.5 cable was unable to transfer any sound to the speakers from the secretary PC.

So they tried to plug it into one of their phones, to rule out the possibility that it is because of the PC headphones plug.

(The speaker volume currently is on *maximum* btw)

1st guy said "Let's play something nice and relaxing, so the patients (mostly old people) won't get an heart attack"
The 2nd ask "So what should I search in YouTube?"
Then the 1st said "Metallica"

So I finished uni three weeks ago. Interview for a my first junior web developer position a week ago.

Received news yesterday that I got the job. It’s been a good couple weeks I’d say.

Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.

Finally got fucked off with windows crashing.
Tra bitch.

The bible has arrived

Well then 😂

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

Anyone else develop distain for a recruiter when they ask for your current salary?

Client is A BIG corporation
Client want an large app and has its own ui guidelines
Client sends design
Client doesn't follow its own guidelines......

Finally worked up the nerve to quit my job. Time to move on to bigger and better things.

If you can run Windows, believe me you're gonna make the Linux fly!

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

This is the last time Microsoft! I'm getting my old Arch image out and removing you from my life forever! Never again will my linux distro randomly uninstall itself without telling me in the middle of implementing new components and crash my development server. Never again will I have to deal with an update that refuses to STFU and go away until I, ME NOT YOU MICROSOFT, decides it's a good time to run the update. No more lack of customization and poor support of common dev tools. I'M DONE WITH YOU, WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

*Try installing ruby on rails on windows*

Dear devRant, Why no markdown?

So a guy made us develop a website, an Android app and an iOS app prototype under contract for a really low amount. We had initially agreed as it would be a learning experience.

3 months later we are still doing bug fixes for end-to-end deployment. For some reason we are responsible for publishing and deploying the whole system. He hasn't paid us anything yet and has given a shitty LOR which has been taken off the net.

You either die a IT or live long enough to see yourself become the programmer

@KartSriv @irene @Lor-inc
Thanks for the suggestions.

Ricing Done!!!

Quickly coming to the terms with the fact that software development inside companies is just the perpetual motion of putting out fires as quickly as possible just so customers can still be ignorant cunts.

Hello!!I'm new here wassup

In programming world there is lot of stuff to learn and there is lot to great developers in the world after seeing code and project's of these developers I feel I am very weak in coding currently my confident is quite low cause I cannot make a simple project by my self without seeing a project tutorial video and I don't know how do I improve my dev skills and I feel stuck any suggestions?

Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.

Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.

So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.

So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell.

In one session 36 hours. I lost someone close to me and I kinda didn't leave my office for any form of social interaction for three weeks.

There are few things I hate more in software development than writing mappings from shitty SOAP apis to JSON.

Why should I hire a software Engineer, if I can just copy and paste code from Stack Overflow ???

Oh you want that ticket closed from a week ago? Okay how about every time i finish it, you quit reopening it and adding more tasks and features to shit ive already redesigned/gutted/debugged about 20 fucking times.

Approaching the end of my first week as a junior web dev.
Spent the week writing automatic web suite tasks for an entire e-commerce platform.
Arguable the best way I could have been introduced to the code base 10/10 would recommend.

I chopped of my dick accidentaly, while trying to fix my javascript code

How do I push a hiring offer to later and say no?

Context:

I work at company A and the manager, let's call her Jane, who hired me at company A, left shortly after to join company B at a senior executive level (very high up the ladder in a public company).

After few months, I decide to quit company A and started my job hunt. I received a job offer from company C.

Now, my relationship with Jane was super awesome. Jane was very supportive and thought very highly of me. She offered to write a LoR (letter of recommendation ) for me whenever I needed it.

Now, out of courtesy and maintaining the relationship, I mentioned to Jane that I quit company A and will be joining company C.

To which she immediately mentioned that she could hire me and setup my connect with one of the hiring managers in her team. We had our initial conversation and they skipped second stage (since I got a very high reference) and moved to final stage of the interview.

Now, I am not really keen on joining this company B as it will also require me to move outside of the country to a different timezone.

At the same time I don't want to sabotage my relationship with Jane and make sure I keep my options/doors open for some collaboration in future.

How do I go about telling Jane (and the team) that for now, I am focusing on joining company C and would like to explore the opportunity with her company/team in future, without damaging my professional image?

Came to the realisation that I wasted three years in uni, today my final grades were released - for those who give a shit I got a first

I was happy till I realised I got my dev position without them even knowing my final grade.

Found myself in a career predicament.

I’m currently working at a tech startup and it really does have the potential to really take off.
But recently the CEO has taken compressed working and remote working off the table for the most part which at this stage in my life is quite important.
Today I was offered a position at a different company with 4/5 days a week with a 10% pay increase.
Now the time has come to make a decision and I really don’t know what to do because I’m pretty sure the worst thing for me to do is make the wrong choice and end up kicking myself in a years time.
Was wondering if any of y’all have had to make a similar choice in your career

Why do tech writers always produce deliverable documents in Word files instead of Markdown, LaTeX, or anything that is easy to CM? It would be easier to track revision history and dump out of the CI/CD pipeline to the customer.

I am aiming for google, I have some questions regarding to interview process, I choose to proficient myself into development world and data structure and algorithms, But I have almost 0 skills in competitive programming and I don't have any ranking all competitive programming platforms but I really want to work for google, How do I fulfill my goal to work for google and how do I clear google interview process?

I’m done with people who claim they don’t have time to do something.
Constantly hearing people complain they don’t have time to do things, oh fuck off you cunt. You work a nine to five, you get home at half five and you sit at home doing fuck all while you complain that things aren’t going your way.
Doesn’t even have to be about developing, lost count with the amount of people who claim they don’t have time to go the gym. Dickhead, you have a 24 hour gym three minutes away from your house. You could go after work, instead you’ll sit on your ass, eat a load shit and then complain you’ve put on weight.

If you’re doing fuck all to make things happen then you lose the right to complain about your circumstances. Stop blaming other people for your fuck ups because you ‘don’t have time’ to get shit done you absolutely holocaust of a human being.
While I’m at, fuck people who think it’s my soul mission in life to fix their shit, believe it or not I don’t give two flying fucks about your circumstances if you’re doing fuck all to help yourself.
Do me a favour and kindly drink some bleach.

I hate meteor. I hate that I have to have everything I do revolve around meteor and it's packages. I hate that I cant implement HMR without support from meteor or tearing my hair out for hours on end. I hate the special implementation of unit tests that have to accommodate for the fact that meteor sucks so much. I hate the encapsulated bubble of "meteor" packages that install themselves outside of my development directory. I hate that I can't use most of the code I find while researching problems because it doesn't work inside of the meteor bubble.

I did not start this project. I did not select meteor as a starting point because I didn't want to implement my own full stack solution, of which there are many that are far better in almost every way, and watch everyone else that touched my code suffer from day one.

If it is the last thing I do, I WILL purge meteor and all of it's nonsense from every line of code in this application even if that means rewriting every line of code in this application.

I will have no mercy. There will be screams of agony, gnashing of teeth and blood will flow down the streets like the rivers of hate that flow in my heart for meteor and all things it stands for.

I will have my vengeance, and it will be terrible.

-Recently started a new job so I’m new to the infrastructure-

Spent the vast majority of the day trying to SSH into one of my company servers to sort some random bug out on the website & the connection kept being rejected despite the day before it working when passing the .pem key into the SSH along with the ip & my username, nothing new there.

Anyway, everyone’s mad busy so I don’t wanna bother anyone to ask why, so I check confluence, no documentation for SSHING into our scheduler or the code the server I need to access. Never-mind.
Spend another couple hours trying debug it on my own, no luck. Never-mind.

Finally seize my opportunity and ask for help; ‘Oh the server IP changes daily so you need to run a task through our scheduler that you need to SSH into to return the list of IPS and that dynamically changes so that’s how you get the IP’

Oh ok. Why is there no documentation for that again? I mean. Thats generally some pretty important information you’d pass onto your starters.
At least I can say I won’t be making that same mistake again.

Program - a four letter word.
Programmer- person that converts caffeine to code.

I don’t, I just throw my self in a perpetual motion of bullshitery and self-loathing.

The ability to generate to generate all of my data transfer objects/, data persistence objects/entity, and unit tests for those.

I love having solid data models before I begin to work with behavioral models but it's a lot of manual work.

Last week Stackoverflow went down for few hours, and now I am jobless

CPP, python, javascript
Which one is best to learn DSA?
I'm really confused which one should I choose?

Feel boring on Sat.
Open laptop and refactor a bit of code. Haha