An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, lounge, pub, tavern, night club, mini bar, drinks.

Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

You know you're a big boy developer when you actually start caring about <meta> tags.

On my first week in the internship, I have to create a small website and it has to be finished ASAP. So I used Bootstrap.

After finishing I tested the website in chrome debugger tools for every screen size (design responsiveness), it was working fine. My stupidity was that I haven't tested on actual mobile/tablet.

The site was live, I send the link to one of my friends and he said "why everything is so small? looks like I'm browsing on PC". I quickly grab my phone and visited the site and it was not responsive on mobile. Started to check the code again, tested again on chrome tools it was working. But not on mobile. Changed the bootstrap file but no fucking changes on mobile.

After few moments of thinking, I realized that I haven't included the "meta viewport" tag. I felt so stupid and it was kind of embarrassing for me.

Now I first include meta tags before working on new project.

My friend a backend dev who manages a little UI by using bootstrap themes. One Saturday he calls me up says "Dude, I need your help, we had a demo and the CEO decides to demo the project to prospective people on Internet Explorer. It looked alright on Chrome but the whole UI has gone haywire on IE. Need your help asap. Join me on screen share". I checkout his HTML code and find a file where the link tag is inside the body tag. I ask him to move that into head tag as in wherever the master template is, I tell him to change the doctype, add responsive meta tags, and even after all these, it just doesn't render bootstraps media queries. After beating my head for around 15mins, I see a drop-down caret in IE's inspector with 7 besides it, someone had set the compatibility mode to IE7. Why in the world would someone set an IE11 to IE7.
My friend heaved a sigh of relief and walked to his boss to show that he isn't a bad developer, his boss is just a bad user.

SEO analyst (hired by client) sends his inform to client, designer and developer (me) and all it says is: use friendly urls, proper use of h1, h2..., use alt in img tags...

Come on dude! Those are obvious things to any webdev out there who earns his salary. Do YOUR fucking job, do some fucking research and DO NOT dare to tell me page title and meta description are important (Really? No shit genius!) and tell me THE page title and THE fucking meta description... Or...

Fuck off and go find some other victim to trick with your bullshit marketing slang.

Meta-rant: rants that have more tags than words.

I will count this as a fail.

Anyone know how to fix this with <meta> tags?

Just saw a "Teen Kids News" show where they were talking about building complex applications like operating systems… and the background picture is some HTML meta tags…

(Hopefully this is the meta rant to kill meta rants)

I'm fucking sick of devrant.

New users posting shit memes with the wrong tags.

But worse are old users complaining about said new users, or just beginner devs from other sites

Yes, some people need stack overflow every 5 minutes.
Not everyone has the capacity to understand every documentation.
Not every documentation is updated or entirely correct.
Not everyone has more than a year or two of experience.

Don't be part of the dumb circlejerk. Just complain about your bullshit boss, coworker or tech.

meta:
I wish the main tag (rant, joke/meme, etc) is separated from the added tags

The post-filter algorithm on devrant is really great I'll have to admit it!
Each related posts are aligned in sequence regardless of their tags.

Could this be image meta-data comparison? How does it...?

half of these YC companies don't even show up on the first page of google when you search them by name...

my company & all my products do, with a _very_ basic set of meta tags and a few blog posts 🤷‍♂️

it's officially a 🤡's world, and we're just living it in

Anybody know of place to grab an example meta-tag block with all the basics included?

ScalaJs React compiles Scala to React.js.
There's some cool typing involved but I haven't done web front-end since nested tables were meta, so there's lots to learn.

There's exactly one senior dev at my company who is fluent in this ScalaReact, so I tag him in the PR for my project. Every day at 10:00 am, slack publicly posts a reminder with @mention that he hasn't reviewed my PR.

Three days later I haven't heard anything so I send a DM over slack asking for feedback... No response.

Four days after the PR I beg for 10 minutes of pairing time, because something in my component hierarchy smells funny. He doesn't have time for me until 5:00 .

I've now built almost a weeks worth of work on the original PR and the feedback I get is 'this works, is performant, and has no obvious bugs, but you can't merge it until you restructure the underlying component hierarchy'

It takes me and another senior dev an entire day of pairing to implement the changes without breaking anything. But, I asked for the feedback because I wanted to learn and write good clean code so I'm irritated but willing to move on.

Yesterday I posted in slack that I was having a hard time following my callback chains to find where the color was assigned to a <td (because I had to add a coloring rule). I wanted to know if I could change the type signature of a component from Tagmod (one or more HTML tags) to VdomTagOf[TableCell] so that it would be clear where the color was assigned.

Instead of just telling me 'no' and giving some context, the react dev gives me:

"Why would a dev need to know about the type unless they’re actually trying to use the thing ? Those are all great questions, but id suggest trying not to prematurely optimize for those until they actually come up"

I flipped my shit. After you couldn't make time for me for a WEEK I had to justify to the CEO why I was spending a day on PURE refactors to accommodate your PREFERENCES. Meanwhile when I'm being VULNERABLE and exposing that I am confused and struggling to complete my task you DISMISS my concerns and attack my motivations.

Unfortunately, this is all happening in the public slack channels and I start defending readability and my premise while triggered. Now I'm riding the shame train for fighting in public slack and trying to pretend none of this ever happened.

Something I should've ranted a while ago, it just came to my mind

We had to learn html and css (I knew a lot about it already, heck, I'm building a website for someone)
So, we had to use object tags to embed parts of the page like you'd do with php

The thing that fucking annoyed me was the stuff that's in the files we had to refer to in the tags

You had
doctype
Html
Body
The whole fucking header with its title and fucking meta tags and shit

Why the fuck would you teach it like that?!
I would've posted a picture but I was too annoyed by the code and deleted everything I had from that course

Ah yeah, they told us to use bluefish
I used notepad++ since I'm not a noon and I know my html tags and css stuff

OK I just tried to unlock my laptop with my fingerprint a thousand times and the smiley just fucking winks at me.
don't wink at me, fucking LET ME IN

It's dual booted with Linux, to try Linux, I'm actually liking it so far.
couldn't find any drivers for the fingerprint sensor yet, but we'll see