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Search - "sql oracle"
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FML. An overreaching supergenius "architect" and a database team:
A: "We have decided that apps should use mysql. Install a MySQL so we match cloud"
DBA: "we don't have an image or experience with MySQL. We have mssql and Oracle "
A: "ok, use mssql in data center and mysql in production cloud"
DBA: "that's... not going to work well"
A: "just do it!"
...
Me, reading this shit, sends email: "ignoring the fact that we have more than 500 queries in this application which will need to be checked and most likely rewritten, how are we supposed to test the mysql queries without production access?"
A: "just use mssql local and MySQL in cloud"
M: "... Just to make sure I understand, you want us to write queries for mssql, test them locally, and then write separate queries, with a separate SQL connection abstraction that deploys to production? Again, how are we going to test this?"
A: "no, use same queries, should be fine"
M: "they really won't, they're different dialects"
A: "do the needful, make work!"
If karma were a thing, this person would have long since exploded into a cloud of atomized blood.18 -
Them: My company is looking for a junior C++ programmer. You must have 10 years experience with PL, SQL, SQL Server, MySQL, SQL oracle, javascript, HTML, XML, UML, c-sharp, visual basic, java.net, j unit, and win32 api, cutie, gtk, PHP, ASP, Perl, Python, and shell scripting with the windows, linux, and solaris operating systems.
Us: Do i need to know C++?
Them: no
https://youtube.com/watch/...5 -
FUUUU!!!!!! 3h of colleagues work gone in sconds.. & yes, actually it is all my fault, even though I was not aware of being a totall ass at that time..
What happened?! You know the ctrl+s shortcut?! Yes? Weeeell...doesn't go well with oracle sql developer and packages.. o.O
I was totally unavare that I was typing in ctrl+s ctrl+s all the time. I know I do that with c# code.. Anyhow, when I first moved to sql developer from other tool I noticed that compile thingy.. Oooops, ok, let's remove that shortcut to not stab yourself absentmindenly and overwrite other peoples work.. OK that's taken care of, shortcuts removed and I go back to work..
It's been almost 6 months since the move & first incident and today I guess I did the same.. ctrl+s.. But this time I wasn't so lucky.
Coworker pissed off, that is not my procedure. When did you compile?! Someone overwrote my code..
Wasn't me.. Then I started thinking about ctrl+s.. OMFG!! I check this on another package, it compiled. O.o I almost died. I check the shortcuts. They are back! And even after removing them the package still compiled.. FML!! 😭😭😭😭
I removed them again & closed the tool. Reopended.. BACK!! We're back to fuck your life up!! Fuuuuuuu!!
Now I worry wtf else I fucked up without notice.. o.O hopefully not much.. I hope.. O.O boss will kill me...
BTW anyone knows how to really get rid of this feature?! Cuz for me its a bug (since I am buggy and press ctrl+s all the time.. )6 -
My Task: Create a new application in a custom C#-Framework, to replace screens from the old application.
Me:Fine.
The old application has a Java Frontend.
Me:Fine.
The old application has an Oracle-DB.
Me:Fine.
The old application has its logic fully on the DB.
Me:What ??
You cannot connect to the DB via ODBC.
Me:But why ???
You cannot use external libraries, just our framework.
Me: For what are you thinking i can use to call the functions on the DB
You have to use a custom connection-bus which uses JDBC
Me:Fine.
This connection-bus cannot call SQL Statements and return the result.
Me:WTF, how should i get the data out of the Database ?
We don't know find a way.
Me:Ahh fuck off.3 -
Oracle database errors are fucking hilarious:
"Usually a pl/sql error"
Well thanks, but if I wanted an unhelpful and shitty response I would've asked myself, but it's great to know you're just as fucking useless. -
If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.
Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it. -
Hired a new BI developer. She tested reasonably ok in SQL, and certainly showed good strengths in visualising data, plus had a good attitude in the interview. We hired her. She broke her laptop the first day. We got her another then she complained the camera didn't work but didn't realise the lever in front of the camera was to move the privacy shutter off and on.
Assigned her some work of taking queries that are used in a BI tool that targets the transactional database directly, and re-jigging them for Snowflake which we're using as a data warehouse now, aggregating all our data into one place. Yet, she's struggling to understand why the SQL query she's pasted in doesn't work as-is.
I go over it again; the source schemas and tables are this, but in Snowflake we've named them this. She then bemoans how much work that is to change them all - I say use find and replace. She then struggles with Snowflake syntax errors and asks for a guide on T-SQL to Snowflake. I show her Google and say "this is what I did when I hit these problems - search for 'Snowflake equivalent to T-SQL getdate()' or 'how to get current date in Snowflake' but she still doesn't understand. I ask if she's every had to work between T-SQL and MySQL or MySQL and PostgreSQL or Oracle and so on and she says yes. I say the syntax isn't the same, is it? And she goes oh, now I understand.
She scored reasonably in her SQL test but I'm now concerned there's something fundamental missing in her grasp of SQL. I gave her a detailed demo of the tools, I explained in the interview and on her start about our move to a data warehouse for all our apps, and put her through some training plus gave her time to work through our Confluence pages - not expecting she'll remember everything, but more to ensure she recalls they exist and what the general contents are.
Anyhow, that's my rant.6 -
Using Oracle 10g for our distributed databases practical lab session, and typed many SQL queries in one sheet.
Suddenly this guy came and told shortcut 'ctrl + r' to quickly run selected query.
And the page fucking reloaded and boom, all queries were gone! His evil laugh was more disturbing. 😡😡
Fuck him.3 -
When you want only 10 rows of query result.
Mysql: Select top 10 * from foo.... 😁
Sql server: select top 10 * from foo.. 😁
PostgreSQL: select * from foo limit 10.. 😁
Oracle: select * from foo FETCH NEXT/FIRST 10 ROWS ONLY. 🌚
Oracle, are you trying to be more expressive/verbose because if that's the case then your understanding of verbosity is fucked up just like your understanding of clean-coding, user experience, open source, productivity...
Etc.6 -
You want oracle database ? Load OCI.dll
You want microsoft SQl ? Load sqlsrv.dll et dotnet.dll
You want mysql ? Its already install
xD why the project have 3 different database :O with less then 2 table each !!! Ffuuuuukkkkkk7 -
I was out sick the day an urgent ETL job I was building would be due, so it got reassigned. When I return, I find most of my code commented out and replaced.
The first step was rewritten, with a comment that reads "Made changes to run faster." What used to be a single execution lasting 30 seconds was now a 4 step process taking 5 minutes, and yielding identical results.
Being a one-time execution (not a recurring job), I'm left wondering why they thought execution speed was even an issue, let alone what about their redesign they felt was an improvement...2 -
Oracle SQL Errors are an absolute fucking joke, ORA-GO-FUCK-YOUR-SELF.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.2 -
I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.
I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.
I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.
After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.
So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.
(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.
(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.
Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.
Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.1 -
Fuck PL/SQL. Fuck Oracle. They're so big they can afford to deliver the most user-unfriendly experience i've ever seen.4
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I'm interviewing with the data architect in two weeks' time, a self-proclaimed ninja. The chap has done PL/SQL development on SQL Server 2008 according to his LinkedIn profile. Yeah, okaaay...5
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(I highly recommend to you to not read this, it's just something that I had been wanting to take off my head; seriously, if you want to read it, do it at your own risk, because it will be a huge waste of your time)
Oracle Academy is the worst crappy attempt from a Corporation to create a learning platform.
The directive and academic personnel of my faculty decided that it could be a good idea to teach SQL and PL/SQL during whatever online classes will last with Oracle Academy, and I truly strongly believe (including most of my friends and classmates) that it's one of the worst ideas that could be done.
At that platform you simply don't learn shit, you read page by page of shitty PPT-like PDF presentations (that most of those are from a decade ago and other from 5 years ago) that are a pain in the ass to read due to how poorly formatted they are or how it explains badly certain concepts due to how badly made some explaining examples are, and then at each section of the "Learning Course" I have to do a Quiz that asks theorical questions and tells you to make certain code reviews to see if something is wrong or not (also which they are just alike the presentations, poorly formatted, up to the point that those have many syntax errors that end up consufing anyone a lot) and the main problem with the quizes is that also the Oracle's PL/SQL Docs are so fucking badly made, that I have to check PDF by PDF and page by page the concept that I just forgot to see how to answer the goddamn question; I mean, there are Doc pages that are way better structured and obviusly external to Oracle, but not even those pages fully cover certain SQL and PL/SQL concepts.
Seriously though, who could be so fucking ill-minded to create a shittyful learning platform and not try to fucking improve nor enhance it at least every 2 fucking years, so the goddamn "learning" process isn't that stressful.1 -
FUCK YES
The feeling when you and the DBA completely fix an issue that has been fucking up your users and that the third party vendors themselves couldn't fix on your own teamwork is so..... fucking... addicting.
Wrote an email to the hod to let us off a bit late tomorrow morning, least I can do for this fucking server admin, sql class A mastermind, Oracle fucking super pro.
I really pray for all of you mfkers to get the same type of coworker. this dude has taught me a lot and I really jump at the first opportunity I get to work with him. His accomplishments for the institution are many really, its just one of those happy bromances man.
I raise my beer mug, to the best fucking DBA i have ever worked with.
For my next trick, I am going to make sure the dude gets the position for the manager of his department as soon as the current dude retires (should be soon) a great man himself, but short on giving his dba the praise he deserves.
The previous manager of my departament told me "pay attention to <DBA NAME> he is your secret weapon and you will be his" and by heavens sweet momma was right. -
It is really frustrating when you have deadlines to meet,and need to fix issues with the tools instead of actively produce something. A whole day lost.4
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We are moving from Oracle 10g to SQL Server 2019 because Oracle doesn't want to provide support to our legacy 10g database.
It doesn't much sense well anyways god bless us during data migration.
Oh one last thing, fuck business analyst team.4 -
Life of an Oracle Developer ... Day {I've lost bloody count now}
Task: Optimise a 236 line cursor consisting of 7 SQL SELECTS and unions, 39 joins and nested sub queries galore.
"YAYYY" said no one ever ...3 -
I've now spent 4 hours trying to understand this piece of shit stored procedure.
3475 lines of pure shit with 3 levels down nested sub-selects.
FML!1 -
so if i get this correctly :
1. mongodb( community server) is going to create some files in my system which will be called "databases/collections/document bullshit via its own special process called mongod (similar to mysql , but ok)
2. my python flask app is going to connect to it via its official driver pymongo (which could be used directly)
3. mongoengine is a library (more of a wrapper on pymongo) providing "easy ways for connecting mongodb via pymongo" (which again could be used directly)
4. flask-mongoengine is library (more of a wrapper on mongoengine providing "easy ways for connecting mongodb via mongoengine via pymongo" (which again could be used directly)
5. flask-pymongo is some another bullshit library/wrapper that took away 6hours of mine which again is "A FUCKING WRAPPER PROVIDING EASY WAYS FOR CONNECTING TO MONGODB VIA PYMONGO"
seriously, fuck web development. Why can't the original driver (i.e pymongo from mongodb devs) could have simpler wrappers? and why does my fucking tutorial instructor had to use the most fucking rarely used flask-mongoengine (which i accidently read as flask-pymongo and got f**ked) to teach newbies? fucking day wasted trying to understand this crap.
I don't like monnopolies, but its somewhat good that the mobile environment is still in the hands of nononsense players like google and oracle(java) . atleast we don't have people releasing wrapper over wrapper over wrapper and then fighting about which wrapper is better to use.
Like , even when devs started cmplaining that android dbs are too difficult to understand, google themselves created an actively supported wrapper that shutted down the fight over which wrapper to use(sqldelight, realm,sql bright etc)5 -
Junior Software Developer Job( $37k-$42k USD)
-1 year experience
- J2EE, Javascript, HTML, XML, SQL
- object oriented design and implementation
- management of relational and non-relational such as Oracle, PostGreSQL and Cassandra
- Lifecycle and Agile methods
- Familiarity with the Eclipse development environment and with tools such as Hibernate, JMS, ,TomCat/Gemini/Jetty, OSGi.
• UNIX skills, including Bash or other scripting language
• Experience installing and configuring software packages
• ActiveMQ troubleshooting/knowledge
• Experience in scientific data processing and analytical science in general
• Automated testing tools and procedures, including JUnit testing, Selenium, etc.
• Experience in interfacing with scientific instrumentation, potentially over IP networks
• Familiarity with modern web development, user interface and other ever-evolving front-end
technologies, such as React, TypeScript, Material, Jest, etc.
I am betting they don't get many people applying.8 -
I once saw a DBA using two for loops in PL/SQL to join two tables. I wonder if he knew about the "alternative" way to do that...2
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Knowing SQL does not mean knowing all the existing technologies that uses SQL, motherfucker! Stop bragging around that you know Postgres, SQL Server, Oracle and shit.
IT is full of shit talkers and ego, NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH10 -
Welcome to post 2 of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363374 It's title is: "Oh, you can post only every 2h. Didn't know that". I also didn't know that the rest of my rant would be put into a comment. For consistency tho, this time I am still splitting the story.
A wise person once wrote in their book: "People judge other people by two things: Empathy and competence." This may not be an accurate quote, but it carries the same message. Also, I don't really remember who was the author. I only know they were probably quite wise. Anyway, I just wanted to share that sentence. Have a moment and think about it. Or don't. Here's my story:
A was a software house that looked pretty promising. They were elegant, their page and offer looked nice. Well, unless you consider the fact that they offered me internship. Unpaid. But I decided to meet with them anyway, since I had hope that I could negotiate some sort of paid internship or a job contract even. I did my homework after all, and I was confident I am able to keep up with their requirements. I arrived a little bit... no, way to early. One damn hour. Whatever, I waited. I was greeted by a woman. We had a cultural conversation, she had a list of 12 questions I needed to answer, as a form of a test. We begun. First question: How do you change a value in Oracle Database? "Wait a minute", I thought, "What kind of question is that?". Why in seven hells would you want your frontend developer to know how to handle oracle db? Well, I gave my answer, I did lick some of that SQL in my life. Next question: Java stuff. The bloody gal didn't even care to check what position I am applying to before the interview! At this point I didn't really have very high hopes. A shame on them forever.
The story of B and C is connected and a little bit more complicated. More on that in part 2. B stands for Bank. A big corporation then, by definition. A person I know decided called me that day and told me they're hiring, that he referred me and that they would like to arrange a meeting. And so we did. It was couple of days before Christmas. C was a software house again. Or a startup. Idk really. Their website wasn't finished so I couldn't read anything useful up on them. They didn't tell me much about themselves either. They also started with "unpaid internship".
In C, they would greet me and instantly sit me down next to a mac laptop and told me, "hey, do this stuff in python". What the fuck, not again... I told them that I am frontend dev, they guy said "it's no problem, you said you know python, it's a simple task". And yeah, I did host some apps in Flask and I did use psycopg2. It was in my CV. But never, ever, have I mentioned knowing heuristics nor statistics. I'm no data scientist, monsieur. Whatever, I tried, I failed a little bit, I told them that maybe if I did want to spend half of my day there I would finish this task, but back then I was way too nervous to focus and code. I told them what should be done in code and that I just was unable to code this at the very moment. They nodded, we said goodbye and I was sure not to hear from them ever again.
In B, I was greeted by a senior frontend dev. He told me the recruiter is sick and he couldn't come, so we're talking alone. I can buy it. We sat down in said meeting room, and he asked me if I wanted a drink. No thx, I had digested so much caffeine during last 24h, next dose could be an overdose. And then, he took out my resume printed in paper. With notes on it. With some stuff encircled. That bloody bastard did his homework. We spent over an hour, just talking in friendly atmosphere. It was an interview, but it was a conversation also. We shared our experiences, opinions and it went just perfect.
On December 20, I was heading home for Christmas. My situation looked like this: A called me they could offer me only unpaid internship. I was getting kinda bored of rice and debts, tbh. I gracefully rejected their generous offer. B didn't give me feedback yet(it was a most recent interview, so I didn't expect any message until after Christmas anyway). C told me that they could give me internship, but I managed to convince them to make it paid internship. After three months of very bad times, things were starting to get better.
On part III we will explore further events of my very recent past. That post will be same amount of storytelling and possibly a lesson for those who seek an employer and for those who seek an employee.6 -
Ha! Our Ops Support DBA Manager just asked (tongue in cheek) "if we are now supporting MS Access, too?" To which of course, the answer is no. Business user who install Access on their desktop and use it for business, get to provide their own support. As their Dev DBA, I'll be more than happy to help them migrate their data to SQL Server, Oracle, or Teradata, depending on the Use Case for the data. But, no, we don't support Access. Ever.
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Oracle database with PL/SQL, heavy use of triggers, and viewception.
Sure, let's take what's supposed to be a data store, embed shitloads of logic in it, make sure everything has side effects, and ensure nothing is ever straightforward.
Untracable, impossible to debug and overall a mess of epic proportions!2 -
So I just got an insight from my PW session in SQLplus. I finally understood why the fridge did the SQL console under Oracle return the error:
ORA-00911: invalid character
on a line that seemed perfectly correct, but it's as if it spawned you an invalid character, just because.
But in fact, when I enter a character unintentionally like ç, then I remove it, it's as if the text prompt makes it look like it got removed, but there's still the cedilla, or at least its character code roaming around in the line I'm writing, and thus resulting in an error.
I'm not even salty now, that got me curious, and I think it's better like this, even if I'll require a bit of research on that thing later on.4 -
Darn you to Heck, Oracle! I installed their JDeveloper environment, to see how it's database functionality compared to DBArtisan and PL SQL Developer. It is Eclipse based, and it rendered DBArtisan non-functional. Uninstalled, and balance has been restored to the Universe.4
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I took over an application that consisted of 4 MSSQL (2005 at the time) databases, hundreds of tables, thousands of stored procedures, maybe a 1/4 of them actual still being used, external links to more than 20 other databases (MSSQL, Oracle and DB2) which all ran from a single "master" stored proc that was kicked off nightly by scheduled job.
The existing documentation consisted of a single word document, about three pages long, describing how to set up the application... on the Sql Server 6 server it had been originally created on two generations ago. -
Really long story. It begins when I was 11 years old, Harry Potter was kind of a hit (it was the beginning) and a lot of site based of the universe where popping everywhere on the internet. I wanted to make mine so much I subscribed to a french website which offered free tutorials on differents languages. The site is still up, it is now called OpenClassrooms and it saved my life a lot.
I tried to learn HTML (4 at the time if my memory's good) and CSS, but my mother didn't believe in my project and made me quit.
Nine years after, I was looking for something to do in my life: I tried a cursus in art history and archeology, I made a Baker school, but my life didn't feel filled.
I heard about a formation in a town near mine, and was for everyone, newbies or veterans, who wanted to have their diploma either in networks or in code.
The coding classes where fantastic. We learned VB.net, Pascal, php, laravel, C#, SQL, PL/SQL (we had a teacher who was absolutely fan of Oracle), I topped my class and now I am in the next formation for my Bachelor. Today I learn Java, Symfony, Android.
The ones who taught me to code? Internet, my teachers, books. But my teachers were the most important, because they gave me the confidence. -
I'm completly hating having to work with databases at college.
I have to use my department's Oracle server to which I must connect using a VPN that fails constantly and I must use SQL Developer that hangs every single time I want to do more than a single Select with it.
Maybe next year I finish this course unit.5 -
Why is the syntax of SQL INSERT so completely different to the syntax of UPDATE?
...proceeds to rewrite multiple 60 column inserts into updates...2 -
Wanna get the next value of a sequence in Oracle? Oh just do :
SELECT sequence_name.NEXTVAL FROM DUAL
Wanna get the current value instead? Try this query :
SELECT last_number FROM all_sequences WHERE sequence_owner = '<sequence owner>' AND sequence_name = '<sequence_name>';
Yeah thanks Oracle...1 -
Team lead gave me a task, fix a script he made to update 28k+ lines that wasn't working (he was busy with other stuff)
So I fixed and tested it in our dev environment, which had about 10 lines to use as test
Worked well, but a single select getting 1 column in a table is taking more than 40 secs, I need this select to run for every line (I tried making it get all data at once but it was getting duplicated entries)
The damn table doesn't have index, I think this will be the longest script I've ever made 😅😅😅 -
TL;DR Is there a hackerrank for Oracle PL/SQL?
At my work, we do not get raises, we only get promotions. Promotions are applied for, and then interviewed for. Highest score (plus maybe some managerial bias) wins.
33% of the questions revolve around PL/SQL (and just Oracle DB in general) and the better you explain yourself, the better you score.
Tutorials just don't do it for me. They're boring. I want something interactive. While it doesn't need to be competitive and challenging like hackerrank, I'm looking for something gamified like hackerrank where I can see other people and learn the technology intimately so I can climb the ranks at my company faster.
Does anyone know of something sort of along the lines? All suggestions appreciated.4 -
Never have I wanted to drop kick my computer out the window as much as I do right now for my first time attempting to create an Oracle Database
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No matter how many times I educate them, my colleagues still end up confused between writing conditions in join statement and in where statement.
They think they're both same :'( -
Is there any reason why the actual fuck the OracleDataAccess Driver for C# returns everything either as decimal or string else its a TypeConversionError? Why does it even have the functionality to return an int if that can literally never happen?