Dev: If you force this to be done in this timeframe it will fail in a month.
Manager: Do it anyway.

A month later:
@@FAILS@@

Manager: Why didn't you tell me this would happen??

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

That late coffee was a mistake... (For the millionth time)

Now I have to sit in bed for 2 hours contemplating my life choices...
Spoiler: not good!

!Rant

Anyone else feel the need for 5 more seasons of IT Crowd?

I love it when companies expect you to care about their vision and act like the work is 100x more important than it is.

Oh yes and of course no overtime pay or decent salary that'd be too much!

😒😫🤯

while (person.isEmployedAsDev())
rant();

Say... Client centric... One... More... Time...

Why can't there be an employee centric company??

Do I have to adult today?

New Rick and Morty in 25 days mother fuckaaaaaaaa!!!!

😎😎😎😎😎

So... My company just shut down and we were all fired!

Any good place for a vacation? :D

Friday deployments:

"I'm one with the force and the force is with me"

Today was my first day at work after Easter break...

It's 22:00 and my head is buried in my pillow filled by random thoughts of violence, rm -rf / schemes and questions about where my life is going!

So... Anyone wanna open a coffee shop?
Or something involving waffles...
Mmmmmmmm waffles

So.... We spend most our lives learning languages and methodologies and best practices and all that crap while depriving ourselves of sleep because the rules said if we did that we'd make something cool and have fun doing it...

But then *any company here* comes along and says make this shitty feature in *arbitrary time here* for our stupid *product here*.
You do it working overtime and sacrificing quality to have the client say afterwards that he wants something different (from his own specs).

And then the circle repeats...

I should consider a different profession...
Hey plants don't speak... Maybe I'll be a gardener!
Clip here clip there - done. I'll be a happy fucking script

Boss asked me to work the weekend today...

Told him I have to buy some shoes and do work around the house so I can't.

In reality I'll be doing a personal project and prettying up my CV ofcourse!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

P.S. this is for a project he has had me rewrite 3 times so far.

Fuck it.
Getting high on caffeine tonight and catching up on personal projects.

Guys....
He's almost here.....
I can't believe it!

PICKLE RIIIICKKK MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

No clients.
No managers.
No bosses (other than in-game!).
No deadlines.

I have decided. I don't wanna adult anymore. LET ME OUT!!!

#sign_out
#rage_quit

"All it needs to do is keep my fucking beer cold"

So many companies could learn from Gilfoyle!!

I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job

One day I will come across a bug that makes sense.

Today is not that fucking day.

The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!

Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week!

1. Make a plan
2. Execute the plan
3. Expect the plan to go horribly wrong
4. Improvise

Truest words to come out of the DC (or any) universe!!!

Time for the self assessment for the year...

"Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?"

Oh idk.... Maybe owner of a small coffee shop with no stress whatsoever...

Or I might fuck off to my own little mountain like Luke that'll be nice...

!rant

Merry Christmas to you all!!!

I love you guys/girls :)

May we all solve a few of our problems in 2018 (whatever they may be).

Hmm..... Do I have time before work tomorrow to watch all 3 matrix movies?

Screw it who cares. Marathon time!!!

Easter.
Greek style ;)

Pffff...... Wanna make an app tomorrow...
Got no clue what to make....

Maybe something with big AI learning data machine. Yeah I think that hits all the right buzzwords :P

Any ideas you're willing to share?

!Rant

Fun fact:

The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.

No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵

So....
I was asked to transfer a spaghetti Android/iOS project to xamarin for a bank client yesterday because "that's what they use".

This is a crm/loyalty app that has been around for 2+ years now (you can imagine the mess). On top of that I have no knowledge of c#, .net or xamarin.

So I ask: "When is this supposed to be delivered?"

Boss: "It was scheduled for 2 weeks ago but let's say 2 weeks from now"

Me: "..... This is a huge remake it won't be even close to ready in 2 weeks"

Boss: "Let's check on the progress in 2 weeks and see how it goes"

Why is it hard for bosses to provide an actual timeframe???

He's been pulling the same crap with junior devs for years and of course they get nervous and create more spaghetti code...

Anyway long story short (not) I have an interview Monday!

Let's hope it's not more of the same!

P.S.: to junior devs: When you are given a deadline... IGNORE IT.

So....
I was just told why the company's code has no documentation...

Quote: "It enforces devs to write simpler/better code"

Oh and added bonus - the whole backend is PHP with a bunch of tweaked libraries.

I'm seeing a lot of these rants today and I just felt jealous so...

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!
You can pivot to something more your pace like whittling or something...

Damn you xcode...

Having one of those moments when I question why I am a dev and why the world is such a shithole.

Fucking ears ringing and stomach doing summersaults from stress.

I hope SpaceX discovers alien life so I can go with them!

SO MAD. Hands are shaking after dealing with this awful API for too long. I just sent this to a contact at JP Morgan Chase.

-------------------
Hello [X],
1. I'm having absolutely no luck logging in to this account to check the Order Abstraction service settings. I was able to log in once earlier this morning, but ever since I've received this frustratingly vague "We are currently unable to complete your request" error message (attached). I even switched IP's via a VPN, and was able to get as far as entering the below Identification Code until I got the same message. Has this account been blocked? Password incorrect? What's the issue?

2. I've been researching the Order Abstraction API for hours as well, attempting to defuddle this gem of an API call response:

error=1&message=Authentication+failure....processing+stopped

NOWHERE in the documentation (last updated 14 months ago) is there any reference to this^^ error or any sort of standardized error-handling description whatsoever - unless you count the detailed error codes outlined for the Hosted Payment responses, which this Order Abstraction service completely ignores. Finally, the HTTP response status code from the Abstraction API is "200 OK", signaling that everything is fine and dandy, which is incorrect. The error message indicates there should be a 400-level status code response, such as 401 Unauthorized, 403 Forbidden or at least 400 Bad Request.

Frankly, I am extremely frustrated and tired of working with poorly documented, poorly designed and poorly maintained developer services which fail to follow basic methodology standardized decades ago. Error messages should be clear and descriptive, including HTTP status codes and a parseable response - preferably JSON or XML.
-----

This whole piece of garbage is junk. If you're big enough to own a bank, you're big enough to provide useful error messages to the developers kind enough to attempt to work with you.

Just upgraded to Mojave and Android studio 3.2.

I am now leaving it all broken and going to sleep.

Yay Google + leaked info!!
New old news again :P

Come on people if you want something to be safe you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT send it to someone else's computer. That's it. Fuck firewalls fuck av fuck it all.

Monday....

NullPointerException: 'rant was null'

Frack legacy code.

Hey guys!
1st rant here after staring for hours at my company's backend....
Is there ANY advantage in scala?? Ever??

Just spent 2 hours debugging a volley call that wouldn't work because a header got refactored by mistake.....

😫😫😫

Hey here's a fun question!

If you plug an OTG enabled phone into a USB c MacBook who charges who?

😎😎🙃🙃😎😎

Right...

So some asshole just tried to charge me 200 euro paid to Plugin Media Group A.G.

Couldn't get pass 3ds but still...

If you have made an order with OnePlus cancel your card. Today

Job hunting is so fucking stressful...
Everyone wants something different and the one company I actually might fit in does not have a position right now - great!

Oh and...why....the fuck... Does a company with a 10k downloads app need an aptitude test? :)

Happy New year fellow devs!!!!

May it suck less than the previous one!!
And may we all get what we want :)

This isn't really a rant yet but... I am... 1000% sure it will be soon!

Has anyone played around with hackintosh on an Alienware 17 r3 (6700hq, 970m, fhd) or 15 r2?

Any info you can provide is welcome.

I bought this beauty a few months back and I don't want to pay for a Mac at this point(never mind their horsepower that's a different rant!) so I have a new cheap nvme SSD coming in tomorrow to throw a hackintosh on it

Was the world always this shitty?
Was I too young to notice?

I mean... You can't even post anything on a forum without everyone going apeshit!!!

Thinking of migrating to Stockholm...
Life in Greece is pretty intolerable and only getting worse...

Any tips? Pointers? General wisdom?
Is it relatively easy to get a job there (competition-wise)?

*clears voice*
FUCK EMMC AND 32BIT UEFI WITH A BIG RUSTY POLE.

Wow that helped actually...
Now then... If anyone has any suggestions on how to actually boot Ubuntu after installation on Asus x205ta I will give them my first born son.
😈😈

!Rant
So I was reassigned from Android to backend a month ago...

Meaning a poor lonely Nexus 5 was just sitting collecting dust...

Saturday night and what do I do?
Go out like a normal person?
*Laughs way too loud*
Nahhhh let's do a pwnie install and start snooping on neighbors!!!

Anyone a wine user?

I want to completely shake off Windows so I'm thinking of trying it again...

Has anyone tried it with a 970m + Wayland?

So.....
Cassandra vm had a crash yesterday...
2 nodes with rep factor 1. (FML)

One node wouldnt start... Eventually found out one of the commit replays had an exception (the one at the time of the crash).

Boss trying to push me towards a fix all this time which was:
"Let's delete the vm and have Cassandra running on one vm"

There are not we enough curses in the world.
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

P.S. there are no backups.

!rant

Can I please just randomly find a million euros somewhere so I can just fuck off everything?!

🤑🤑🤑

Colleague's thought process:

Hmm I have observables but I don't understand shit.
Hey I like listeners let's add listeners to all observables.

Should I make the method return an observable and subscribe my listener to it?

Nah I'll erase everything and pass an anonymous class listener to the method so no one can chain a few calls together.

Fuck you and I hope you're reading this!!!

Time to rerewrite 2k lines of fucking code....

Team building exercises... Curious to hear your opinions....

They annoy the hell out of me personally and I can't see the value in them...

Have bonded way more with previous teams by simply working on a project together. No BS exercises, or even scrum for that matter, we just respected each other and that seemed to effortlessly let us make each other better at our work.

Does anyone know a desktop widget app for Linux?

Used to have screenlets but I haven't seen it for a while...

If only I could have rainmeter...

!Rant

So... In the mood for a new lang...

Mainly Java developer but have done Scala, Python lately and a bunch in the past (C, PHP, little js, HTML5).

Thinking of .Net or node js ATM...

I'd welcome any ideas :)

Can anyone explain why the world sucks so bad?

I mean it was much better ~1990 am I wrong?

Seems to get worse every year...
Or maybe the cynic in me grew stronger idk...

Well... mmc.exe got blocked today after an update...

Microsoft management console that is... And a bunch of other stuff with it... Like device manager....

Eventually resorted to gpedit and even so I still can't print (🙃🙃).

Getting a fucking Mac with the idiotic touchbar and the ridiculously low ram tomorrow (for real).

Love having an Alienware with a 6700hq and a 950 pro that I can't take advantage of because of the OS fucking up all the time...

P.S. Yes I also have Linux on it but you can't really enjoy the.... 👽 side of things with it!

Anyone have something to share about working in Amsterdam?

Thinking of migrating there - I'm an Android developer.

Any company names you can throw at me are also appreciated!! :)

Which do you consider the best country to live/work in?

Subjective I know but I'm thinking of relocating somewhere and could use some help with the "where"!

Help! Google is looking for me!!!

Planning on relocating to Edinburgh, Scotland (from Greece)...
Currently researching.... everything!!
If anyone has moved there I'd appreciate any tips :)