- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

me deleting print statements after debugging my code

My cat loosed resolution, what should I do? :/

WHY THE HELL DOESN'T THIS METHOD WORK??!11!?? Oh, I never called it yet ._.

Got assigned an intern to mentor him, with an explicit order not to do any of the legwork for him.

We start out with some fuzzy requirements. Intern starts overengineering a generic solution, so I make out a best architecture that conforms to the business requirements and I explain it to the intern why are we going to use such approach and tell him how we are going to do it in three phases.

I explain the intern the first phase, break it down in small tasks for him and return to my projects...

After a couple of days of no words from the intern, I decide to check up on him to see how is he progressing, only to hear him complaining the task is boring. So, instead of doing the assigned tasks, he decided he should do a "design" for a feature I told him explicitly not to do, since it is going to be designed by the design team later on.

I explain it to the intern that we have to do the boring task first because we can't proceed with the next phase of the implementation without the necessary data from the phase one.

Intern says okay and assures me he got it now. Few days later, I check up on him, and he tells me he feels he is doing all the work and that I don't contribute to the project. I call up my boss and tell him intern wants a meeting. Since I was working from home, I quickly pack my things and head to the office. Boss talks to the intern before I managed to get to the office. Once I got there, I meet the intern, and he tells me everything is okay. I ask what did the boss say to make things okay all of a sudden, and he tells me he said we are a team now. Our company has a flat hierarchy model, so he tells me he doesn't feel he needs a mentor, that we are both equal, and that I have no idea how to work in a team, and then proceeds to comfort me on how human interaction is hard and that I will learn it one day... I was like wtf?

I tell him to finish the phase one of the project and start with the phase two, and I leave home again.

I call up my boss and ask him what did he say to the intern, and he says: "nothing much, just explained the project a little bit and how it fits in the grand scheme of things.". I ask about the equal team members thing, and me not being a mentor any longer, the boss goes wtf, saying he never said anything about that to him.

So the kid can't focus on a single task, over-engineers everything and doesn't feel he can learn anything from developers with more experience, doesn't want to obey commands, and also likes to lie to manipulate others.

Tomorrow we'll decide what to do with him...

Sorry for the long rant, it was a long stressful day.

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

When anyone tells you some app idea you have already heard a thousand times, do you throw a OutOfFucksToGiveException?

COOOOKKKIIIEEES!!!

You know you're fucked when you look for an answer to your problems on Google page #2

"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"

So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.

First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.

So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.

Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?

I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.

Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?

"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"

So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.

More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!

I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.

And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.

"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."

You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!

"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."

I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.

So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.

You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

How do I keep improving as a dev?

By ignoring what my colleagues say. Idiots

When back-end engineers get excited about something.

FUCK OFF. It's 2 days before a deadline, I'm wearing headphones and clearly focused and you have the fucking audacity to interrupt me because you're fucking bored? Go light yourself on fire you fucking cunt

When some moron decides to give your free (and ad free) app a 1 star rating because it does exactly what it is supposed to do, but doesn't do what the reviewer wanted it to.

How considerate of these arse holes to ruin an apps reputation because they are moronic.

I really wish that you could file claims for the reviews to be removed for defamation.

Js frontend
Js backend
Js mobile apps
Js desktop apps
What's next? Js kernel?

Reality

And that's why we're all single...

Credit : 9gag

Laughed so hard, that I had to defenitely post it on devRant.

Holy crap, My first app has just been approved on the apple app store!!!

Reason why Devs like me can't have a Bae or a side project :

Me listening to my boss trying to explain to a client how I fixed their shit...

How many times have you done this? :D

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

I did it. I fucking did it.

wtffffff 😂

The same goes for clients.

Found this....it really made my day

Hm.. so close..

Just saw a rant about date formats between the US and every other country and saw this a few years ago. Seems appropriate