I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.

My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).

At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D

So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.

I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).

So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.

Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.

Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...

So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.

That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.

He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.

Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.

I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵

Ffs Bitbucket, is it really so much to ask for to have a mobile responsive website in 2020 to normally review my pull requests.

Not like we're giving you loads of money for your service already or anything.. 😌

Relax, they said. Eat some turkey, spend time with family.
What do I do? Work on a personal project.

ft. my grandma's house

6 months ago I sold everything, quit my job, gave up my apartment and left the country with my 11kg backpack. I booked a one way ticket to South America. I wanted to travel, get lost but also finish up some personal projects and do a little tech books challenge I came up with. I learnt so much over the past half a year, it's crazy.

Not looking back. Projects paid off and it turns out that my dream company actually found me themselves without me even applying... and so still from South America I'm in final rounds of the interview! 🤗

All my worries about a gap in CV, no employment along with other problems I thought I was gonna have... It's all BS. So if anyone here is waiting for a sign. Well, this is it now. Go!

"No masterpiece was ever created by a lazy artist." - Salvador Dali

$age++;

Dark mode on Twitter.
Dark mode on my phone.
Dark mode on my heart.
Dark mode on my life.

I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

This guy is awesome.

How the fuck are you guys so unable to do anything without Stack Overflow? I didn't evem notice that it was down...

I fucking hate people,

I provide a free service for people, and some decide it is a great idea to abuse the shit out of it.
Fuck you

My bird fell asleep on the laptop while licking the shiny LENOVO logo.

why programmers like cooking: you peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.3

My life in a nutshell.

I've been stuck in this timeless loop for 10 years, anyone that relates?

1. Set alarm before going to bed.
2. Alarm rings, I turn it off.
3. Wakes up late.
4. Work from 08 AM to 4 PM.
5. Take the train back home
6. Plan what to do for the rest of the day.
7. Come home, do everything except what was initially planned.
8. Watching time goes by while doing non-productive things.
9. I feel alone, watch porn to fill this void.
10. I get depressed and unhappy afterward
11. Set the alarm for the next day.
12. Repeat.

Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.

Vote for yes
Down vote for no

:)

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊

I Don't want to be that guy that has stickers on his laptop that he didn't "earn" them.

That is, if I am not fluent in AWS I won't plaster their stickers, even though I attented one course one time.

Just a thought

Impossible to write code when you're in love.

In 2025, JS-frameworks will outnumber humans.

git commit -m ‘minor fixes’

Happens all the time.

i mean wtf

Been using this monitor layout lately, like it a lot better than side by side when using a laptop

I just noticed the huge amount of Germans on this platform. Gather together, my fellow Schnitzels! 🍻

Been looking around ways to improve devrant's user experience a little, Idk whether you guys like it or not.. Just a suggestion 😂

Tips for people new to programming

1. Start counting from zero
2. Trees are upside down, root's probably at the top
3. Warnings are usual, go rogue!

What more? 😂

Professor: "Who here regularly backs up all their data?"
*Some people raise their hands*
Professor: "Who has at some point lost their data?"
*The exact same people raise their hands*