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Search - "asshats"
TL;DR: One of my coworkers is a genius engineer and doesn't get as much recognition as he deserves, whereas another extremely mediocre engineer on the team gets praised for his crappy applications.
We have one engineer on our team (let's call him Hank) who started with me at the company when we were interns, and man is he a freaking genius. I swear, you could give this guy any language/library/framework, and he'll be fluent in it in less than a week. He's singlehandedly written two of our most complex applications by himself, and has a great sense of UX as well. All of his apps look fantastic.
The problem is, I feel like he doesn't get anywhere near as much recognition as he should. I try to talk him up to our manager, and our manager knows that Hank is smart, but he also overlooks him for promotions and praise because he's a little spacey (he's got quite the case of ADD) and doesn't speak up very often. He's got trouble focusing sometimes, but when he's in the zone, he can write an exponentially better and more complex application in 2 days than some of our other engineers can do in 4 months.
For example, we have another engineer on our team (let's call him Phil,) and the entire team has their heads so far up Phil's butt that I'm surprised they haven't suffocated yet. Don't get me wrong, he's a smart guy. He's great with the more basic aspects of our job, but when it comes to writing an application, he has no idea what he's doing, and he takes months to write something that should have taken him days. Then when he finally releases it, it's riddled with bugs. But everybody praises and bows down to him for it. "Oh Phil, this app is amazing. You're a genius, you deserve to be a Lead." Then we have Hank sitting quietly at his desk, banging out his 3rd big application of the month, and people say "Eh, nobody's going to use those apps anyway. He's wasting time." And I'm standing there thinking, "You asshats, we already have a solution for the app that Phil wrote, and the entire company is already using it. It's exponentially better, why did you let him waste time writing this when there's already an existing solution?!"
Oh well, I hope Hank gets some recognition soon. He certainly deserves it.18
Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, I’ve looked at your LinkedIn profile and you look like a perfect fit for my new client. The role is a lead Java developer with experience in .......
Me: Where on my profile have I listed or mentioned Java in any way?
LinkedIn Notification: a person who chose to remain anonymous, with the title “Recruiter” just viewed your profile.
Wow, I wonder who could it possibly be? I’m stumped!
Also probably the first time he did look. Getting fed up with these asshats9
The sales and business team at my office really look down at the devs. Just because we don't dress in fancy suits doesn't mean we are any less important that those asshats.
In fact we are probably a hell of a lot more useful since they cant land any sales since they barely have any idea what they are selling and the company is rapidly going under.
To give you an idea :
We recently changed office and one of them asked if they had had to be in the same workspace as the developers again?
Why do we need them?
Cant we outsource their jobs ?
Some of them dont even answer when you bid them good morning
And one douche bag even brought his bluetooth radio and refuses to use headphones , he keeps playing shitty music and disturbing us.
The company is kinda fractured and there is poor chain of command, so there is little we can do, telling dev management is fruitless he has no authority over the guy
And the business manager simply said oh you dont like good music then walked off.10
Thanks to Microsoft and Windows for making my work day one hour shorter. FUCK OFF WITH THIS FORCED UPDATE/RESTART SHIT!!!! Who the fuck in Microsoft thought that this was a smart idea? Fucking assholes. And yes, I did tell it to only update outside office hours. Doesn't work apparently.
Luckily it's easy to explain to my boss why I had one hour of not being productive.13
Some non-IT people wrote a crappy software tool. Others have started using it for business critical processes.
Asshats: "People are starting to use our tool and that means it's production ready!"
Me: "If and when this breaks are they going to call you to fix it?"
Asshats: "Well it's really just a proof of concept."
They want the glory but not the work that goes with it. And they dont want anyone else to develop it. They have been a huge pain for me lately.6
I (don't) like how some people say "If your code needs comments, your code is probably ugly and should be rewritten".
Well, asshats. You have never considered complex calculations/functions or "temporary" workarounds, right?
Sometimes, you have to do it in a not-very-readable way for efficiency. There is no way around that in that case, and comments that either explain the code below or provide alternative, slower code that's commented really help others understand your code.
If I ever work with you and you don't bother commenting your code at all (or rather use slow code because more efficient code doesn't appeal to your "muh code dun need comments" approach), I will hate you.6
Rapid firing some mini rants.
Fuck people that go on vacation and post 100 pictures of it. Chill out fam. I can guarantee you that 95% of your followers don't give a shit. Keep the posts minimal; 3-5 is ideal with 5-7 being acceptable.
People that post shit like r/whooosh in the comments on posts can suck a dick. That's not necessary asshats.
Why the fuck do the Android versions of every major app suck ass? Like c'mon man. It's the most widely used mobile OS. Take Apple's dick out your ass and fix this garbage. (I get that supporting the cheap ass devices that never get OS updates is one thing, but ffs im using a Pixel. Get your shit together.)
This TED talk was brought to you by Stuxnet. Thanks for coming.7
Can marketing (and PM) asshats take a moment, think about the word "just", the amount of time they are using it and STOP USING AT ALL. It's fucking irritation to hear that word.
for example, it just needs to be get done, OR
just do an AJAX call and it'll be done.5
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!
I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.
Fucking asshats, don't understand difference between people who do what..
Fucking asshat wants me to edit this image to his preference, I'd happily do it if I knew it how to...but noooooo he wants to convince me that I can do it without even knowing what or how to do...
That's like asking a plumber to fix my car...5
Fucking hate recruiters/headhunters they are all talk, but when things get real... They fucking ghost you - who does that?
And how is that a way of working?
What happened to being a professional, at least cancel our fucking appointment.
From now on I will call you, so just lose my info.1
Why the fuck are you making me put in my email to look at a computer desk? I saw an ad and was curious about it and the price, so I clicked the ad. I don't give a shit and don't actually plan to buy anything, just let me look asshats.
I love it when asshats, that wear testicles for sunglasses, like to ask me a question about my past experience with a given technology. Let's call it "X". After I've said my piece about the desired effect "X" was supposed to achieve, and describe the environment/scope where "X" was used, and describe the pain points I've encountered with it or the headaches "X" has caused in those environments, these camel spunk garglers then try to immediately rebut me by saying that every one of the times they've set "X" technology up it's worked just fine.
So, I kindly remind them that my past experience was in large enterprises where "X" technology just doesn't scale well so I've seen some issues with it.
Spunk Gargler: "Hmmm, must've just not been setup correctly."
I lose my shit (internally of course because I can't afford to be without a job right now.) and say, "I'm not so sure that it wasn't setup correctly, I just don't think that 'X' works properly at the scale of 500+ employee environments well. You've only ever set it up in small offices of like - what, 20 users?"
Shitlord McHerp-a-Derp who's Drunk on Spunk: "Maybe, but it just sounds like a bad configuration was causing those issues to me."
He shuffled back into his office shortly after I basically told him he's a fucking chump playing small team tactics and I've seen shit at scale so I've seen first hand what does and does not work well.
I'm writing this because this is the same fucking imbecile that has only ever encountered a /23 network once before from a client they inherited from a previous MSP team and they didn't know how to "safely change it" to a /24 so they just left it in place.
(BTW, just for the non-networking guys/gals out there, I'm sure you've already guessed it, but a /23 network is NOT a fucking problem!)
These puffy cancerous taint boils that call themselves IT engineers are the fucking problem!
I'm not a dev by trade or training, but trying to learn DevOps, and I can totally see why Dev teams can/sometimes get pissed with infrastructure teams... infrastructure/helpdesk side of IT is full of these fucking meat heads.1
"what's the update?" - Team Lead
For every fucking idiotic task given, every 3 hours, as if the world is gonna end, while all you did in that time was have a tea, chat for a while, send a few mails, sat with a few co workers and checked up on them.
And then he gives me all these "tricky issues", which are apparently critical, and demands updates with a higher frequency! Never sat with me to solve even one of them. Not one.
I never thought that I lacked the basic common sense to update you as soon as I fucking have one.
Ooh, also loop in the senior manager right before annual appraisal. There goes my hike!3
Maybe someone will like me.
Maybe the next person I take a liking to will be single, uncomplicated, and available.
Maybe asshats will disappear from my life.
Well, one can dream, can't I?2
Can some drone operator please end my suffering existence?
I just got on a bus from Berlin to Munich (8h trip) and apperantly some fuckwits thought it was a great idea to destroy the GOD DAMN FREE WIFI. ONLY DRUNK ASSHATS COULD BE SO STUPID. I need a podcast to sleep well but since I already used up my mobile data volume, I'm stuck in here, surrounded by idiots and lost to the world.4
So I went for a "special" interview to a company whose slogan is "experience certainty" (fresher, was hoping to get a role in cyber security/Linux sysadmin). Got shown what the "real" hiring process of an indian consultancy company is...
We were called because we cleared a rank of the coding competition which the company holds on a yearly basis, so its understood that we know how to code.
3 rounds; technical, managerial and HR...
Technical is where I knew that I was signing up for complete bullshit. The interviewer asks me to write and algo to generate a "number pyramid". Finished it in 7 minutes, 6-ish lines of (pseudo) code (which resembled python). As I explained the logic to the guy, he kept giving me this bewildered look, so I asked him what happened. He asks me about the simplest part of the logic, and proceeds to ask even dumber questions...
Ultimately I managed to get through his thick skull and answer some other nontechnical questions. He then asks if I have anything to ask him...
I ask him about what he does.
Him - " I am currently working on a project wherein the client is a big American bank as the technical lead "
Me (interest is cybersec) - "oh, then you must be knowing about the data protection and other security mechanisms (encryption, SSL, etc.)"
Him (bewildered look on face) - "no, I mostly handle the connectivity between the portal and data and the interface."
Me (disappointed) - "so, mostly DB, stuff?"
Him (smug and proud) - "yeup"
Gave him a link to my Github repo. Left the cabin. Proceeded to managerial interview (the stereotypical PM asshats)
Never did I think I'd be happy to not get a job offer...1
Do you know what YotaPhone 2 is? Second screen is e-ink, made by a small Russian co, with meh specs.
Dammit why do you push anOTA update that COMPLETELY fucks up the e-ink function?
Now the only reason I kept this... Thing... Fades fast. >.<
Threw together a quick Python/Qt app that would have been exactly what we were looking for...but no...the one class method I absolutely *need* isn't available in pyside2 yet.
Stupid asshats can suck my bologna pony.6
Today I am experiencing all the joys of workspace virtualisation, with CIT that only looks at security, not what is used by the people and why... They restrict me now from doing my work... While I am sitting at home 🤭 yeah open up another ticket explaining these asshats that we need things to get our jobs done, and that they just do things to pretend to enhance security by destroying productivity
Let us walk into ragnarok with sun on our faces... Why the fuck do I even work here?
Dumbest project for me was separating a company into four different companies (four different phone systems) because they were under legal fire.
They wanted it separated but still function the same. There is still the possibility that the companies will merge back together.
Those. Fucking. Asshats.
The problem with working for a school is depending on the district and there policy the sites you need are blocked. The district I'm at today blocks devRant and I'm posting this using mobile data.
LIKE WTF I FUCKING WORK HERE YOU ASSHATS LET ME FUCKING ACCESS THE SITES I NEED/WANT TO VISIT. I WORK FOR THE FUCKING DEPARTMENT THAT KEEPS ALL YOUR SHIT WORKING!2
Just started my new college education (going for embedded systems engineering) and we found out we don't have any holidays except for christmas.
No biggie, can live with that.
However, we just got a project which we need to pass to continue to the second year and of course it's a fucking group project.
Guess what, one of the asshats had a holiday planned for a while, so he'll be out somewhere in Africa while the rest build stuff for a week. 1 week on a 3 week project... Amazing.
Asshats in QA,
Kindly please be leaving me the fuck alone so I can work.
(Sorry, 'ol Rowsdower's grumpy today.)
My word. The way how bad and patchy the Atlassian Server SDK is documented makes development of JIRA and Confluence plug-ins an absolute horror story.
Nothing fucking works the way you'd expect it to, the development server takes upwards of 5 minutes to simply refresh a page and oooh the shit ton of money this wacky piece of horseshite costs my employer makes my head explode.
But the worst thing is:
We just have to fucking make some easy stuff we could completely just use static pages for to talk to JIRA's REST API, but someone in management made using confluence an acceptance criteria, cause some asshats somewhere else in our company made a custom confluence space - based thingy for another customer "and that's cool"
zuora you fucking asshats, don't attach a dropdown button beside a thing if it's a fucking search box