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Microsoft creates a new chat bot:
Day 1
User : hi
Chatbot: hello, how's yours day? 😁
One month later:
User: hi
Chatbot: fuck off your piece of shit.😡4 -
Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.12
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Making a Twitch chat bot withing four days after starting to learn programming and python.
The downside is that now that I look a it I feel a bit embarrassed with the mess I made. But hey, it works!1 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
Right.. I spent the hours leading up to the year change by adding a YouTube to MP3 downloader into my Telegram bot. After a bit of fiddling it turned out okay, and the commit for it was mentioned to the last for the year 2020.
I mentioned this in one of my chats, and users came in with more issues. Told them it's the last commit for the year and I'll keep myself to it. I did adjust the code a bit though to fix those issues, awaiting a commit after midnight.
Midnight passes and 2020 turns into 2021.
I commit the new features, and quickly implemented another one I already thought of as well, but needed its own commit.
Quickly afterwards it turns out that the /mp3 feature actually breaks the bot somewhat, especially on long tracks. Users add a slew of 10h songs into what essentially became a long queue of single-threaded bot action (or rather lack thereof).
I made the /mp3 command accessible to myself only like I did with some other administrative commands already. Still no dice, the bot rejected the commands but executed part of the /mp3 command anyway.
I look a bit further into the code and it turns out that while I was restructuring some functions, I forgot to make the admin() function exit the script after it sends the rejection onwards. This was a serious security issue and meant that all authentication was void. Fortunately the chat did not realize this - one of the commands that became available as a result was literally a terminal on the bot's system.
I fix the issue in 7 commits after midnight total, 3 of which were related to /mp3 and admin(). We're now 1 hour after midnight.
Happy New Year everyone... :')6 -
I dream of a chat bot that would read my Kanban/scrum boards and answer status queries for me.
Instead of spending 1h13mins (I measured) on average EACH AND EVERY DAY just telling people whatever is written on the story cards, the robot could tell them for me.
Maybe someone will suggest on the comments that people should just read by themselves on the story cards. Yeah, people will ask you where the toilet is while you are peeing on it. That is why we need robot nannies for professional adults.1 -
Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:
"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."
... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?3 -
Today's shit list, compiled from multiple random apps:
* Your subscription renews without an email in advance (no time to cancel)
* Your chat bot asks me twenty questions about why I want to cancel my membership, then sends me to a live agent, who asks me the same damn questions.
* Your app emails me my password in plain text
* Meeting agenda squashed by execs:
"We don't talk about _____, but we're committed to transparency." -
!rant
3 days ago I started my first open source project. Even though it is nothing special (its a Telegram Chat Bot in NodeJS) i am feeling quite proud of myself. I don't know why, but i felt like sharing it with you guys.
(If you are interested: https://github.com/CptPie/... )6 -
When a complaint form doesn't work on a website..
Is that a bug or a feature?
Oh and the online chat is a bot.2 -
So it's 5 am and a random Snapchat adds me. Of course I know it's a bot. I tend to answer these because i'm curious of how clever the ai has become in these scams. Still hasn't improved in like 5 years. Here I am telling this ai how shitty it is at it's job and telling it how it could be better by using deep learning to copy the way others talk and actually be convincing and then I think to myself, "well damn, why don't I just build a better ai." Seriously thinking about it. Ended up leaving the chat after telling the ai to inform it's lizard overlords I am for hire if they want a better trap.
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I wonder what would happen if someone trains a chat-bot based on Posts and Comments on Devrant? a Psychopathic Chatbot?3
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I was rendering a video, when my buddy called me, and asked for help for youtube chat bot for fidget spinner giveaway
Now we are both running it...1 -
Every company and their brother have a chat bot now. It's like 2018 with crypto, but even more ironic and funny because nobody realizes it!
🤡4 -
Built a pretty slick chat bot for my company’s conferences that used Google’s Dialogflow for natural language processing and conversation state
It worked from a web chat or SMS. Allowed manual responding by agents as well as the chat bot. Pulled dynamic answers through a 3rd party API integration
Most common questions “what is the wifi password” and “tell me a joke”
Project was killed after 2 conferences - thankfully it only took me a few weeks to build4 -
I am put to the task of creating a Chat Robot in ChatFuel.
Cool, I thought at first.
Cool is not what I would call it at this point..one week later.
The size is a factor at play, for sure, it needs to point to 27 cities and give individual information, handle e-mails, phone, automate e-mails.. a bunch of stuff.
Now, I am located in Sweden.
{{city}} as a set user attribute acknowledges Gothenburg and geolocation thusly worked fine for my boss. But not for me, and won't work for any other city.
So..Global AI calling for static blocks it is... 27 blocks...
For two languages.. 54 blocks...
Static pointing to the first answer for every individual block multiplies this by a factor of two. 108 static blocks. Fine.
I have since realized that my ChatFuel-Luddite ways were limiting the expected performance of the end result and learned that most other set attributes in ChatFuel work fine. Yay.
So we set up everything the last 54 blocks need to do with user attributes and to my surprise it works, really well at that. The answer from a user that is a correct city puts you into a block that is a series of questions using user attributes, both {{first_name}} and {{last_name}}, asks for e-mail and phone, displays an image and stuff like that.
Now.. as I attempt to copy these blocks..
THEY JUST POOP OUT CHUNKS OF THE ORIGINAL BLOCK. IT'S INCONSISTENCY IS STAGGERING. IT NEVER REALLY COMPLETES THE DUPLICATION, NO ERROR MESSAGE OR ANYTHING.
Which then reminded me of when my boss asked why everything was botched earlier in the project, at that point I copied the entire bot as a fallback and worked with my change in the copy first for safety reasons, didn't work, copy wasn't entire.
Wasted fucking hours on this.
I'm glad my boss is cool, and the job is easily worth it. I actually think that the design aspect of ChatFuel is nice, and the people behind it are kind in the facebook group and all. I don't think they're trying to be mean. But holy shit.
This has been a mental anguish that levels pissing bleach filled with fire ants.
" You could've easily solved this with APIs and third-party geofencing services ", yeah, but their services won't stack for the customer, nice attempt though.
Deep breaths.
1 -
Did GPT have an unfair advantage compared to every general Chat-AI that comes after?
I mean, chatGPT was trained with data mostly generated by real humans. Now, since chatGPT and GPT4 is released, it has become more difficult to tell the content from bot and a Human apart. This means future chat AI will probably also by trained with data from other AI. And since AI doesn't understand context, and therefore make more factual error, future chat AI will learn more and more wrong things (generated by previous AI versions).4 -
TL;DR When talking about caching, is it even worth considering try and br as memory efficient as possible?
Context:
I recently chatted with a developer who wanted to improve a frameworks memory usage. It's a framework creating discord bots, providing hooks to events such as message creation. He compared it too 2 other frameworks, where is ranked last with 240mb memory usage for a bot with around 10.5k users iirc. The best framework memory wise used around 120mb, all running on the same amount of users.
So he set out to reduce the memory consumption of that framework. He alone reduced the memory usage by quite some bit. Then he wanted to try out ttl for the cache or rather cache with expirations times, adding no overhead, besides checking every interval of there are so few records that should be deleted. (Somebody in the chat called that sort of cache a meme. Would be happy , if you coukd also explain why that is so😅).
Afterwards the memory usage droped down to 100mb after a Around 3-5 minutes.
The maintainer of the package won't merge his changes, because sone of them really introduce some stuff that might be troublesome later on, such as modifying the default argument for processes, something along these lines. Haven't looked at these changes.
So I'm asking myself whether it's worth saving that much memory. Because at the end of the day, it's cache. Imo cache can be as big as it wants to be, but should stay within borders and of course return memory of needed. Otherwise there should be no problem.
But maybe I just need other people point of view to consider. The other devs reasoning was simple because "it shouldn't consume that much memory", which doesn't really help, so I'm seeking you guys out😁 -
Reply to my 2018 version: https://devrant.com/rants/1346392/...
Dear holodreamer ( version 2018 ),
I'm just glad that I'm still alive now. You won't believe how terrible 2020 is at the moment! Anyways, a lot has happened since you wrote me and I'm gonna reply it all to you.
Thanks for noticing. I really like my hairstyle now and my insecurity of going bald have gone. I couldn't be more happy.
Unfortunately, I'm not financially independent yet. Thanks to the crypto crash, the crypto ban in the country and some bad calls on my end. :/. But the good news is that we are back on the crypto market as the ban has been lifted recently. I don't have enough crypto to buy a lambo or go to the moon, but I have something that I could give to my grand kids. At this point, I don't really care anymore how much the value it is going to be, I have come to learn to think them of as a souvenir.
Your prediction of me preparing to move out of country seems to have come true. Honestly, I had given up that dream, but thanks to one of my best friend for reigniting those dreams - I may be moving somewhere really better by next year. I hope that I get this financial independence thing figured out before I move there. I don't wanna live there paycheck to paycheck.
Fortunately, I'm not getting any pressure to get married yet. I think I'm heading the way to a better life filled with some travel and adventures. I had a great opportunity to attend Google I/O 2020, but it got cancelled. Hopefully, covid19 will be over in few months.
Yea, I remember her. I got really carried away to the point that things she said started to hurt my heart. But eventually we had some argument and we stopped talking last September and I cut all contacts with her on the new years. If it makes you feel any better, last time i checked, she looks quite plumpy and totally different.
Thankfully, I'm not that lonely to need a chat bot. But I found some good online friends. They are fun to talk to.
No, AI didn't replace developers yet. Calm down! Javascript seems to be the most popular programming language now. But I hear there is a new contender to JavaScript that could change everything. It's called WebAssembly. Maybe in few years, we will see the decline of JavaScript.
Thinking about you, I feel some guilt for wasting your potential. I could have done much better if I was little more careful and responsible with you. I don't wanna make 2022 version of me feel bad for me.
Regards,
holodreamer ( version 2020 )1 -
I don't even know if the shitty rant gets through this unreliable service I pay for with my money. I want to fucking wrap my hand in that money, light it up and fucking beat your teeth out while shoving this fucking money down your greedy, second arseholes. Honestly, what am I paying you for. These last couple of days your service was less reliable than a drunkard behind the wheel trying to drive in a straight line. Exactly this fucking week where there's a fucking hackathon. This very fucking week l where I got to be the team leader, you make me look like a fucking unreliable internet twat who just talks big. This very fucking week I'm given a internet service that doesn't even let me communicate with my team mates. Why do you dare to display fucking 3g? Is the the force my fist should take? Is it the fucking amount of gallons of acid you want to be showered with? Well fucking pay that shit with the money you earned. Just let me fucking work, let me give my best, give me a fucking way to look at the docs, give me a fucking way to test my code (chat bot), give me a fucking way to tell you to go fuck yourself using your fucking antennas, maybe thst will help.
Kindly, a pissed of customer who's rage makes the heatwave look like a lesser evil.1 -
People not using FaaS (like aws lambda or azure functions ) to build chat bots (facebook, slack) but using express based (or any webserver based) application deserves a place in hell.
Can't think why would you use expressJS based app for chat bot. Especially with event emitter shit. At least for Lucifers sake document which event triggers what. Please. -
Yukki Music Bot
okay so, I'm bout to post my first rant and its basically about this telegram bot whose dev team I'm a part of, Yukki Music Bot.
It all started around April 2021 when most of us were busy streaming Netflix, chilling and locked up due to Covid that some people decided to make something interesting and for the community.
It was at first just a simple bot which just played music on call but now, due to the countless efforts and time by the Team Yukki, now you can even stream Ipl in telegram voice chat! and almost all of the music platforms are supported by Yukki >~<.
Check it out at @TeamYukki in GitHub!
4 -
what did you do at work today? i made an Magic 8-ball chat-bot for facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/Magic8Bot/2 -
My decision making chat bot project chat with it on messenger: https:/m.me/karar
Only replies yes or no but very useful when you are in doubt or having trouble to decide what to do.
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