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A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev17 -
Boss: "it's not the same font"
Me: "yes, it is"
Boss: "don't argue with me. It's a different font"
Me: "ok it's a different font" (it's not)
Boss: "change it please"
15 minutes later and I've done nothing at all to it. Boss comes back.
Boss: "see? I knew it was a different font. This looks perfect now. Why were you lying to me before? I don't like you arguing with me"12 -
Made a website for a friend's parents in 2015. Months later after the website was finished, I haven't been paid. Reminded them about the money, they say they will call me. No call received. So, I turned the website into this. (image)
2017, still haven't been paid.
16 -
The moment you realize you're just good at googling and not an expert in programming...
That's when the internet connectivity is down!6 -
Wrote a script that calms the extreme use of exclamation/question marks and capslocked rants, do have to say, it makes it much easier to read many of the rants, it also adds small stats at the bottom of the rant
may sound like it takes the "fun" out of those rants, but it only triggers if the capslock is more than the lowercased letters
wish the devrant webapp was accessible from mobile, to use all them scripts on mobile too
27 -
Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.
Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!8 -
Got to learn Shopware (the eCommerce thingy written in PHP) for the job.
Bought a book worth ~60$.
The author writes: "Use vagrant it's soooooo comfy and cozy and everything!".
Sure, why not.
Got to get online over my smartphone.
Cloned the repo with the Vagrantfile.
Did a 'vagrant up'.
Downloaded the Ubuntu box of around 1.5 GB (reminder: over my smartphone which has around 3 GB 'highspeed' internet connection).
Vagrant initialized and provisioned the box.
Error.
Error?
Error.
VT-X is not enabled. Hm. Strange. Wait...when it's not enabled, can it be that...
Yep.
THIS SHITTY LAPTOP SCHMAPTOP DOES NOT SUPPORT VT-X AND I PULVERIZED JUST THE HALF OF MY INTERNET DATA FOR THIS SHITTY BOX IN ORDER TO JUST DOWNLOAD THE ZIP FILE AND INSTALL IT OLDSCHOOL-SCHMOLDSCHOOL INSTALL A APACHE VIRTUAL HOST.
Time for new hardware I think.16 -
A fucking wasp bit me and now (after heating up the affected area thoroughly) I'm keeping it cool like a true nerd.
9 -
WHAT THE FUCK???
ctx: i haven't been on stack overflow in a while, and i logged back on to find this, i got them randomly while i wasn't on
10 -
Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.
Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.
I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.3 -
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?12 -
I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:
$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.
So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:
$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?
$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.
$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.
$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.
$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?
$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.
$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?
$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.
Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.
Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport3 -
*curl [PROD-SERVER-IP]*
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Failed to connect: timed out
*Heart drops out of anus*
*Reaches for panic button*8 -
1. No more coding on paper! Why can some already write essays on laptops but programmers are stuck with "analog"?
2. No vendor lock-ins! Teach free, cross-platform development, not VB.NET.
3. No more professors stuck in the eighties! If all you know is 6800 assembly, GTFO. I heard NASA was hiring...
4. Enforce code style consistency, proper documentation and even VCS for larger projects
5. Algorithms -> scripting -> programming. Don't quickly explain the basics, then throw students straight into Java.11 -
I work for a company that is 100% remote. Slack just went down. We're doomed, on Halloween of all days.4
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In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1 -
--- UK Mobile carrier O2's data network vanishes like a fart in the wind ---
One of the largest mobile carriers in the UK; O2 has been having all manner of weird and wonderful problems this morning as bleary eyed susbcribers awoke to find their data services unavailable. What makes this particular outage interesting (more so than the annoyingly frequent wobblers some mobile masts have) is that the majority of the UK seems to be affected.
To further compound the hilarity/disaster (depending on which side of the fence you're on), Many smaller independent carriers such as GiffGaff and Tesco Mobile piggy-back off O2's network, meaning they're up the stinky creek without a paddle as well. Formal advice from the gaseous carrier is to reboot your device frequently to force a reconnect attempt, Which we're absolutely sure won't cause any issues at all with millions of devices screaming at the same network when it comes back up.
Issue reports began flooding DownDetector at around 5am (GMT), With PR minions formally acknowledging the issue 2 hours later at 7am (GMT) via the most official channel available - Twitter. After a few recent updates via the grapevine (companies involved seems to be keeping their heads down at the minute) Ericsson has been fingered for pushing out a wonky software update but there's been no official confirmation of this, so pitchforks away please folks.
If you're in need of a giggle while you wait for your 4G goodness to return, You can always hop on an open WiFi network and read the tales of distress the data-less masses are screaming into the void.6 -
*wants to do some coding for once*
Stack Overflow: sorry, we're offline 😶
Classic 😑
Also it's Monday. Coincidence? Most certainly not!!5 -
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2 -
Age 19, got a government sponsored chance to go to India to study. Was called to study for Law. But didn't like it. Decided I wanted to change to Computer Science cause that's what I was interested in. Go to India and apply for computer science course but not law despite Parents wanting me to do law because hey Lawyers job is a good status in society.
Got a spot in BCA (Bachelor of Computer Application) . Totally new in programming. Started with C. Was freaked out with all the new things. Variables, comments, Pre processors files. All was new to me. Although the lecture tried her best, I couldn't understand her well because of language barrier. It was a mixture of Hindi and English.
Luckily she gave me a book to read, Let us C. That book helped me a ton. I realized I really liked programming. When summer holiday came I taught myself C++ . Then next summer Java. Then Android. Then some Web Development. That was last summer. But I kinda settled in Android and did some projects in it. Right now I am about to sit for my final exam. Then I will try my best to get an Internship or a job.10 -
Most Irritating moment
When u gonna edit any webpage and want to open it using Notepad and
By mistakenly u presses
"Open with Microsoft Visual studio or Android Studio"
😫5 -
Are there any apps more shallow than Tinder? Or is anyone here planning to develop one already?
No descriptions (pick-up lines, beliefs, etc.) or anything. Just pictures and maybe some shit like height, weight, component sizes, etc. If you like each other for shallow and purely physical reasons, you meet up, have sex, and never talk to each other again. Something like that.
There are risks of getting killed but as long as they don't ask you what your zodiac sign is and engage in small talk, it's all good.34 -
tfw...
• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat
🤫🤫🤫2 -
What do Developers at Office do when the internet is down ?
(at mine, we play the dinosaurs game and compete for the highest score.)16 -
Apologies to everyone.
I got sick.
Hence, resulted in service unavailability.
Current health status: 100% OK
Please continue to enjoy me aka github
7 -
Felt like a fucing badass just now. My boss sent me a message saying that one of the servers is down and that he can't reach anyone else and he doesn't know how to fix it.
So I sent him a couple of Linux commands to fix the issue and it worked! By his reaction you could tell he was really happy, and so was I!8 -
Rando calling in last week:
Uhhh, so my PC won't connect to the enterprise Wifi. Think my ethernet cord might have died?
Me: No, but a few hundred of my brain cells just did after that sentence left your mouth.1 -
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING IS WORKING SINCE I MADE THIS FUCKING UPDATE
FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
12 -
What happened to devrant? It has been showing the same rant after 5 or 10 posts and I have been on 3 different wifi places1
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Anybody uses Slack at work
My whole company freaked out today because Slack servers were down
It was hilarious 😂4 -
Was trying to be cool and wanted to delete all data on my USB stick using sudo rm - rf /*
Well, it deleted all data. But on my primary drive. So I ended up loosing all my work progress.5 -
Quick show of hands. If given more than enough money to last through life, how many of you would still be a developer?
Maybe not for a company but I mean still making stuff.
13 -
Nightmare came true..
Stackoverflow down..
I am not able to access it...
Checking if it's really down or VPN issues..
Update: VPN is not an issue. It's down.
7 -
Why is it always on Fridays that some server decides to start acting up?
I want to start my weekend, damnit!2 -
My GF found this on 9gag, though it'd be worth reposting :p
But oh damn I wish it was this easy...
5 -
* Yesterday:*
PM: Yes, so, could you please do those changes on this page tomorrow by 3 pm and push to prod?
Me: Yeah sure! Noted :) (task is to "untick" a checkbox in a page's settings on our CMS)
* the next day -- 11 am *
PM: erm yes so please can you do the changes I told you about, it's getting urgent and you didn't start it already and it stresses the hell out of me because today is friday and it needs to be up and running fine for Monday 12pm and you don't work on weekend so I'd like yo-
Me:
2 -
3 in 1
---
If your project needs more than three sentences to describe and the budget is not in the high four digits or preferably five, then you're clearly not fucking paying enough
---
Clients that just write a "?" after you wrote a very detailed tutorial, which even a fucking skunk could do, if given a fucking mouse and keyboard, are just the fucking laboratory perfection made retards
---
I just LOVE IT when my internet drops out for under a minute, so windows doesn't notify you yet and your sftp client trashes both local and remote files -
Didn't understand the movie inception?
It's basically the same as running a VM in a VM in a VM in a VM in a...4 -
We had a major core router hardware failure in our LA datacenter today and every one of our services has been down since 6am, including all production servers. We have about 15,000 sites down across our entire platform. Our manager came over and told us to just go home because we need to replace the hardware and the process is expected to take all day, and we can't do any work until then because all the production servers are down. So you could say that it's been a pretty easy Friday so far! I'm headed home to play Spider-Man2
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For once I'm actually relieved Stackoverflow is down, when I opened this page I immediately started reading the code out of habit - for a few seconds I was like "holyshit what the fuck have you gotten yourself into this time!? I was googling syntax...".
The only reason I looked up in the end to realize I'm a few sandwiches short of a picnic is that after a few seconds the color scheme made my eyes bleed and I wanted to know wtf was going on with the font. I think I've had enough internet for one day...
HTTP/1.1 420 "Error: Programmer is too stoned to repsond."
3 -
A bit over a week ago a headhunter contacted me for a new opportunity.
I thought about it, but declined because I'm afraid to leave job certainly.
I regretted turning it down hours after I did, but didn't want to admit it so I kept quiet.
Today he send me an email that there would never be an easy time to make decisions, and that I had all the opportunities that were possible.
He has no idea how much motivation he just gave me.4 -
So guys, for those of you that know what a burn down chart is, this is my teams, aka Front-end ONLY for end of March.
8 -
Not sure how other developers handle this but I just had a break down and do not want to see another piece of code for at least a week :/18
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TIL how to mess with your neighbors who steal your wifi.
Simple, just turn everything they request upside down.
http://ex-parrot.com/~pete/...5 -
Whenever you feel sad just remember that when Microsoft Visual Studio App Center is down, just like StackOverflow, nobody cares...
1 -
Wife asleep early, getting a great dose of Battlefield, maybe I can finally finish the last bits of my app tonight! 😮
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Our main server that stores everything and that everyone uses has been down for about an hour now. It's okay though I get paid by the hour. Plus, I'm working remotely today.
Probably doesn't help that we let other people other than the IT department mess with what we put on the server.1 -
For our business we are paying the highest plan the ISP provides (240 mbps) but we get 110 kb/s. Wtf!! You write them, they answer “give your address”, done, “we doesn’t see any problems”, calls a friend that also uses Telenet, “do you have problems”, “yes, no internet”. What de F*** is wrong?? It’s nearly a month like that!! They really need to do something!!
16 -
Oh, a big "Learn More" button on the hero of your webpage. Let me click that. Oh, it slightly scrolls down to the bottom. I didn't expect that. Thanks for saving me some mousewheel flings. I appreciate it. Really.
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Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.
Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏2 -
I was at the doctor today for a bad back.
Nurse: how much weight can you lift before your back hurts?
Me: the heaviest thing I have lifted in the past year is my keyboard
Nurse: uhh, what?
Me: I mean 60-70 lbs.1 -
Just when I want to get inspirations for my personal site by looking at other websites by devranters the famous website of @alice is down :(
Any other websites I should check out as example?9 -
Instagram is down!
Anyone willing to post food pics here?
Sexy pics also appreciated
I need my dose49 -
Today we updated PHP on our server. From 7.0 to 7.2
Promptly the whole server went down and none of the pages on it worked anymore. I guess we sort of forgot that there are other pages on the serve than the one we were working on...
Now everything is operational again.4 -
Is any one still programming Konami Code Easter Eggs into their work?
I've been trying it on various sites and I'm getting nothing 😞
I still think my site is the best use of it though 😜🤯😎8 -
Tommy: how much time do you spend on stackoverflow?
Jeff: *downvotes Tommy* you know alot actually1 -
So couple of days ago a competitor ISP rep. came to our door, describing that people in the neighbourhood reported outtages to them from the competitor (thats already questionable, why would somebody report that to another ISP, instead of the actual ISP? like we always do) and they said they did their magical lines or whatever and that the old line we use is faulty etc. - the internet was actually stable for a good while now finally, now today it cut off, I suspect they want to force contract changes by "accidentally" fucking with the shit somewhere for sure, fucking shit gargling goblins, I was a client of that competitor ISP for a good portion of my life and each time I moved they left me without internet for atleast 5 months and that only because I threatened action, their general service also isn't more stable, literally fucking throwing a paperplane with my packets is more reliable than their bullshit alternative, their offer also would cut 90% of options I have with the current one, leaving me without telephone, tv, mobile and more - since all that would have to be contracted seperately, ending in roughly 450% actual raise per month, I fucking hate ISPs.
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Fixing a bug which was open for a few weeks - in front of the exam room - while waiting to be let into the room
Best feeling ever, plus the irritated looks of people while they try to study till the last second -
It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.
I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.
If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness3 -
DevSup channel:
Someone: FYI, Db is down(ticket link)
Otherone: Can anyone help me connecting
with db? I am having issues.
I am so happy I am leaving this place in 2 months.... 😂😂1 -
Ok people. I got a contract last year with a company, and I was their support for one year, which ended back in February. They still email me for all their problems. I don't know why. They emailed me today, for Christ's sake, on the Saturday of Easter, to tell me that their 3rd party software can't send them emails because the mailserver has that IP on greylist asking me to look into it and find a solution. AS IF I CARE! I'm with my family, taking a break for two days damn it. Panic attack came, my heartbeat rate problem kicked in and now I can't calm down. I'm trying to get into the "I don't give a fuck" mood but I can't, I'm too responsible for that, in the worst dramatic way (the world is gonna end etc).
Piece of advice:
Be very clear next time you come to terms with another company, be precise and don't let them have it their way.9 -
Deadline driven development ... Wtf. What a great way to annoy developers, managers and clients at the same time.2
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Just spent over 5 hours trying to figure out Microsoft’s OneDrive REST api. Basically my first time trying to do POSTs n’ stuff. I got very very close, but the server kept throwing 400 error codes. Eventually I had to give up and ask Stack Overflow. Going to bed now at 2:20am. No worse feeling then not being able to solve a problem you’re dedicated on solving. :/4
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I started a short term contract job that requires access to company online resources. Only problem is the office I'm working in has really bad internet. The connection speed at best is comparable to dial up and at worse just non-existent. I tried tethering to my phone but this wasn't working either due to low signal. I mention this as an issue early on the week to the boss. Later in the week the boss asks how things are going at the same time that the network is down. I tell him the same problem. He then tells me his computer is fast and he has internet, so I show him the 2 computers I have access to and how they are too slow/no internet. He then tells me a bad workman blames his tools and he's not happy with me for having problems.
Don't even know what to say to that. I just told him this role wasn't working for me and clocked out.8 -
My New medication is !AMAZING....
Yesterday went to the Doc (another 100€ sniff) and got a new update on medication...
(check my profile history for the posts last weekend if ya curious).
One of them must be opium or something... I got so high It looked like Opium (I never did heavy drugs).
Now I'm falling all the time, Can't remember much last night and... man... I use/used Cannabis as medicine for years (on and off as needed) ... Still, remember when I could get high... And the highest time was when I learned cannabis it's great to stop suicide (A friend got me so stoned I couldn't move... Even if didn't really take out the tendencies and thoughts to kill yourself, you can't do it anyway...)
But this new Pill... ONLY SHEEAAATTTT...
Only problem,,, I can't really do shit Until my body gains tolerance... and I was doing so much cool ideas in my Office...
Btw, no more Space Again... The more drawers I place, the more stuff gets here...
But I think I'll lose all my energy again for the next months, so, fuck it.3 -
It's 8am and the server is down... Legit rant right? Sure, but it gets better. One of our buyers in purchasing printed out a 504 error and hand delivered it to my counterpart in our northern office.
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Fucking panic!
First thing I see when I wake up today is an email from my colleague. It says we've lost a hell of a lot of user uploaded files in ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Also, it happened TUESDAY NIGHT.
This will be fun...2 -
Tested site with 🌘Chrome, 🌋Firefox and 🌐Safari, so far so good.. 👌
Time to pray to Microsoft gods before testing with ☠️IE11 & Edge7 -
!rant what do you ranters do when you're not ranting or coding? Me? I work on cars. Car in the picture is my gf's mini.
10 -
Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:
"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."
... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?3 -
It's going to be a long rant here and probably my fist rant ! And yes I am pissed up with a community growing in dev world .
There are so called framework experts who are so good that they can spin up a nodejs server with express and mongodb .
So to the people who bash on php , who bash down MySQL for no fuckig reason other than they have heard these are not so cool.fuck yourself incompetent piece of crap!!! I can hear all day about how algorithms and datsructure are not important form these people.fuck you because if you don't know /understand /want to understand the basics of computing how the fuck can your brain be trusted with anyting serious??If you can't write down proofs of basic / standard algorithms and till bash down on people who do those please fuck you because those are the people indirectly responsible for your Job so that u can work on fancy frameworks and cool IDE's .
Instead of whining down dedicate some time to your maturity and knowledge because that what we devs are all about.we like solving problems right?.
I repeat if you are anything like stating up it career in mid 20s maybe.leave everything if you can .Forget all fucking frameworks and technologies start with basics of computing, right at instruction level using assembly .Then move to a higher language when u know and reason about what your CPU is actually doing.
If you can't do that and keep on crying and bashing down things wihout proper explanations fuck yourself with a cactus .5 -
Reach office early and you know what stack over flow is down god save me it's 15 minutes already some one please up it.
Bad start for monday.
1 -
Ran the build today 4:30 and found out our grunt file is missing some pretty critical error checks without even logging a warning. A dependency was unavailable and it was pushed to production. The site was down for 30+ minutes.1
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Today I had my first ever prod db fuckup due to too wide where clause in delete query. Spent 8 hours restoring service. It's 02.09 now and I'm finally home, going to bed.
Interestingly enough I've enjoyed this experience... -
When you have no work all week long because you finish 3x as fast as the estimates. You ask for more work, and due to "red tape" you can't even work on the back log.
Time to sit and look busy :).
Sadly, this is too common for me... I want to be buried in code and tasks! Not sit and twiddle my thumbs.7 -
Can we collectively as an industry just calm down a little and stop lying to ourselves in a misguided attempt to inflate our sense of purpose...
I just stumbled upon a job listing for a WordPress developer position that described it as "helping solve the big problems of the day". Seriously?! Let's stop and get real you're probably just building themes. Maybe a plugin or two. So just relax and accept you're just another web developer building yet another 💩site you're not solving "the big problems"...
... Then again it IS WordPress...4 -
Some minutes ago our firewall in office overheated, no internet, no network, no real way to work some time for coffee and nerd talk - not bad at all2
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I spend so much time developing, went to my parents and walkoutside. Cant believe i dont even remeber ever walking at the back part of this place. Actually looks nice. And they have been staying there for 5 years.
Anyhow. Back to the cave for me. Seems the internet is back up -
When hosting company changes mysql host name from localhost to mysql. And you spend hour to see why your app does not connect to db because you don't wanna call support. &#-+_$&#&1
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Trying to install Centos7 onto my proliant g6, red screen, try a fix, red screen, try another fix, red screen, finally find a fix that seems like it is the exact problem, screen dies can't see bios... god damnit.18
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I love it when my coworker removes my computer from my setup and replaces it with his own without asking, refuses to move and doesn't understand why I'm pissed. I love it even more how they get mad when I fuck with their stuff.4
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Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.
Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.
Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on. -
So we have this fucking project that came straight out o Satan's anus managed by 3 fucking PMs that each of them seem to be on a different drug and none of them seem to talk to each other despite the fact that they don't shut the fuck up on meetings.
They end up asking for conflicting changes every fucking time... Like:
PM1: change this to red
PM2: change this ( same thing ) to blue
PM3: should be green
Every day I stray further away from sanity. Maybe I'll be the 4th PM in some months by this rate of craziness my mind is diving into. -
Why is it that people who can't do anything call the shots? Devs should call the shots and the fuckers should listen.3
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I watch videos online in 2x or more speed most of the time. It saves me time. Anyone? I use a browser extension to easily control the speed via rhe keyboard. I think it's called Video Speed Controller or something.1
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"Boss, we have a problem!"
"Don't say that, we call it -opportunity-"
"Boss, we have a lot of opportunities, the server is down."
"Ow..that's a problem"2 -
School decided to shut down their WiFi for "security" reasons (Everyone used a VPN and they were dumb fucks at networking, blocking sites like Google for having an invalid SSL certificate).
Now I'm forced to use my mobile data to keep using my Arch Linux laptop D:3 -
as most of you are aware of my internet issue (still not working), I came to know an amazing thing.
"there are many wonderful women live in my building. some are beautiful, some are tired, some are puzzled, some are young, some are old, some are sad...."
I didnt knew this untill I got disconnected.2 -
When I say I'm a developer, it means that, in simpleton language, that I don't do your backups, I don't "repair" you PC because you're a baffon and I certainly do not edit company's logo which is in .png format deliver it in .cdr file and expect it as, as good and perfect as original, So fuck you, you impatient , imbecile , pompous prick I've ever met
> "Yeah take as much time as you want, but do it quickly"
I mean what the fuck does that even mean, if you want it done quickly then say so, be a man and face it and don't hide behind the excuse of "take as much time as you want"
Fucking idiots, little do they know when I'm in the zone I need time to think before act so I don't get blamed for "un-satisfied" product in the future.
So I've decided to leave loopholes in the current project I've been working on, deliver it, and leave the company and make their lives living hell, I know this is beneath anyone's standards but I have to do this to teach them how to treat a person properly,FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK,
This is going to be fun9 -
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
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The fun times, watching the little weenie down voting the guy who thinks vanilla js is better than jQuery. Here I thought devs were meant to be more intelligent, yet somehow a 30kb wrapper for js is better than js itself...
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Grrrr, at the end of the day just before weekend trying to arc land something so you can start fresh the next week. Boom phabricator server down. Unexpected reply.
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Didn't realize until lunch that it was Friday today. Programming really makes you lose track of time.2
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#whatsappDown in EU.
#telegramIsBetter.
maybe whatsapp servers have too (meta)data to analyze ;-)
i expect to see at least one comment with #signalIsBetter.
(10AM CET)5 -
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
er... what?2 -
So... I just got to the next fase where I'm being asked to do a technical test. What they ask is for me to develop an Android App with 4 different tabs:
- First tab I need to receive data from a github url, parse it and show it on a recyclerview, save it on a database, and be able to search it.
- Second tab has to show 50 elements in a recyclerview, with a header that has to fill the entire screen and when the user scrolls down, the image has to fix to the top of the screen, and never go back when you scroll up.
and two more exercises with variations but almost same difficulty.
..... to deliver at 10 a.m at the 26th of October.
......It was 07:00 p.m when I got the email
FUCK MY LIFE -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
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It's been 6 hours now and I am greatly frustrated. The server at the driving test center is down and has wasted my whole day. Got to know that server has some problem and is out of order. Joined their WiFi network and some nmap's later, found out all their machines have windows installed. Coincidence?
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Working on production issue,
Kind of nervous checking logs and so on...
Ops manager and PO who were looking over my shoulder this whole time start shooting the breeze.
I know what they were trying to do. They are trying to create a relaxed environment.
But the issue is that the talk is very distracting. If you want to shoot the breeze please go somewhere else.
Anyway just did that, asked them to leave. They weren't happy about it. But I really needed the silence. -
This one time last year a colleague found out that some data went missing and suggested to recover the data from a backup. When trying to create a new database instance in the Google Cloud Platform (if everything works it's amazing!) it failed.
Not knowing why this happened, I tried to revert that backup to the production database, after creating a backup using the GCP. Needless to say that failed as well, resulting in a corrupted database instance where I couldn't access the created backups anymore.
This all went at around 10pm and the only users of our product are currently in the same timezone and use it from around 7.30AM until 6PM so no one besides our team knew the server was down.
After a long night chatting Google's support team the database was successfully recovered and the only harm done was sleep depravation for me and a colleague.
Apparently there was a bug in the GCP. It was resolved in two hours and the last time a breaking bug was in that piece was more than seventy days earlier.
I did at least learn to create local backups as well, instead of relying on the tools of the same product...
Best: the moment I saw the corrupted database spin up again and not losing my job because of it. -
Today had a board meeting. This explains why the front page is all new and flashy and there are breaking changes everywhere.
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This literally just happened: "Our network is down". No internet and backup seems to be failing as well. Thankfully I can still develop locally with git. Now to be able to focus. I'm not shitting you when I say a guy with a sandbelt machine is grinding down a door 3 metres away from me.
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Thinking about writing a browser extension that automatically gives a thumb down to every Adam Sandler movie on Netflix. At the rate they are appearing, it's just too much manual labor.2
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What's the difference between the society I work for and some shitty drama-filled telenovela?
Well please tell me because I can't find any. -
What do you guys do at work when you have no tasks, or when you are waiting for something and you know it'll take an hour or more of waiting?9
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Ok, so I've been down voting a few rants that I knew were reposts. But is there a way for people to find out before they post if the rant has already been posted?
The newcomers may not know if it has been posted before and down voting may not be a great idea to welcome them. :-)
cc: @dfox2 -
I sadly don't remember who set this up and posted it on devRant (give me a distro) but it seems to be down :/
Would be glad to host it again if needed, I think it is a great idea. ^^
5 -
2 days hard thinking why my prepared statement not saved to the database, until I found this
...
ADDDATA
...
And I only put the parameter with ADDATA
...
How beautiful my life. Thanks ADDDDDDDDDSDDDDSSDDSDDDDDDSDDDDDDATA
1 -
The day when you Plan an Alarm clock which will awake you when one of your server have trouble.
Hm I think that should look like this:
https://youtu.be/umtf9bx8cuo2 -
Am I the only one who always think in the "top-down" way to solve problems or anything since I've learned how to develop?1
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That moment when you explain to your manager what the term "full-stack" means and next thing you know you've gone from being a "backend c#" to azure migration expert/dba/designer/api architect/network engineer/php wordpress developer... let's go back to when you'd never heard of full-stack
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My Instagram feed wasn't loading up, neither was the profile. I thought my app was acting up and neglected it. Apparently both FB and Instagram are down for some users around the world. Sad.
Now, even my WhatsApp is unable to send across images.
FML!3 -
3rd day back into work after xmas break and I still haven't had laser focus yet, and I have so many projects to do :-/
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So after the CIO pretty much does a table flip to the division about causing near daily customer impact we now have seven business day cool period for Changes and 13 cross functional teams stood up with 1, 15, 30, 60, and 90 day deliverables to an executive audience.
Guess what my team did today?
Offline a major Production database during the middle of the day, thinking they were in Development. Didn’t notice for 40 minutes. -
I'm expecting my StackOverflow questiion to get shut down and some mod to want to piss on my corpse ( https://stackoverflow.com/questions... ) so I'll ask this here too. Anyone set up the open source Jenkin in a DR environment? I'd like an Active/active hosting solution but everything I read points to Cloudbee's... Post your answer on SO if you want, I'll vote up whatever looks good, but in case it does get shut down by the assholes with a god complex, please @ me :)5
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I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
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The day I'm fucking around with Kafka Streams API and had to work with Java after swearing it off 5 years ago for JS bae...
Is the day that Apache's everything is down. Can't even hit their fucking website. I just want a fat jar. Just one. -
if your dev skills are blockd ny stack overflow & want to let us know. please know that this status is overwhelmedly posted here. thanks
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Can someone explain the future of PHP? (Serious question). I was under the impression learning php is mainly for the current job market. Otherwise the future is nodeJS, ruby, python etc.
I’m asking because I see a lot of leading development and courses on laravel for modern development and I’m wondering how relevant it is to the future.1 -
confession: before today i had no idea what rust was. i read a wikipedia article and i'm still not sure, but i think i'm obligated to love it
https://insights.stackoverflow.com/...
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