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Search - "fuck you apache"
So I got the job. Here's a story, never let anyone stop you from accomplishing your dreams!
It all started in 2010. Windows just crashed unrecoverably for the 3rd time in two years. Back then I wasn't good with computers yet so we got our tech guy to look at it and he said: "either pay for a windows license again (we nearly spend 1K on licenses already) or try another operating system which is free: Ubuntu. If you don't like it anyways, we can always switch back to Windows!"
Oh well, fair enough, not much to lose, right! So we went with Ubuntu. Within about 2 hours I could find everything. From the software installer to OpenOffice, browsers, email things and so on. Also I already got the basics of the Linux terminal (bash in this case) like ls, cd, mkdir and a few more.
My parents found it very easy to work with as well so we decided to stick with it.
I already started to experiment with some html/css code because the thought of being able to write my own websites was awesome! Within about a week or so I figured out a simple html site.
Then I started to experiment more and more.
After about a year of trial and error (repeat about 1000+ times) I finally got my first Apache server setup on a VirtualBox running Ubuntu server. Damn, it felt awesome to see my own shit working!
From that moment on I continued to try everything I could with Linux because I found the principle that I basically could do everything I wanted (possible with software solutions) without any limitations (like with Windows/Mac) very fucking awesome. I owned the fucking system.
Then, after some years, I got my first shared hosting plan! It was awesome to see my own (with subdomain) website online, functioning very well!
I started to learn stuff like FTP, SSH and so on.
Went on with trial and error for a while and then the thought occured to me: what if I'd have a little server ONLINE which I could use myself to experiment around?
First rented VPS was there! Couldn't get enough of it and kept experimenting with server thingies, linux in general aaand so on.
Started learning about rsa key based login, firewalls (iptables), brute force prevention (fail2ban), vhosts (apache2 still), SSL (damn this was an interesting one, how the fuck do you do this yourself?!), PHP and many other things.
Then, after a while, the thought came to mind: what if I'd have a dedicated server!?!?!?!
I ordered my first fucking dedicated server. Damn, this was awesome! Already knew some stuff about defending myself from brute force bots and so on so it went pretty well.
Finally made the jump to NginX and CentOS!
Made multiple VPS's for shitloads of purposes and just to learn. Started working with reverse proxies (nginx), proxy servers, SSL for everything (because fuck basic http WITHOUT SSL), vhosts and so on.
Started with simple, one screen linux setup with ubuntu 10.04.
Running a five monitor setup now with many distro's, running about 20 servers with proxies/nginx/apache2/multiple db engines, as much security as I can integrate and this fucking passion just got me my first Linux job!
It's not just an operating system for me, it's a way of life. And with that I don't just mean the operating system, but also the idea behind it :).20
You just came in today, being new in your position. I've been with the company for around 5 years, and you're the new guy. Look, I absolutely respect your skills. You're not a newbie coming out of uni, ok? You're a skilled sysadmin. But you asking me "what is your college?" and after me telling you I majored in linguistics, your answer "huh, that's why" and explaining why I'm wrong in my programming practices (which are taken from the Apache foundation) is utterly bullshit. Fuck off!
1) The fact that you have a BS in CS doesn't mean you know the best. I've worked as a programmer for some time. You were never paid to write a line of code.
2) Even if you were absolutely, positively, non-questionably right, you have no right to be condescending.
So, can you just shove your degree far up your ass? Because my friend, you're uppity as fuck just because you spent 4 years in college learning theory that you never applied in real world. I spent years learning my programming skills alone, after 9 to 5 work, during the evenings and fucking weekends. I don't need to prove myself to you, you fuckity fuck, I have proven myself to our employer over the last five fucking years.
Windows vs Mac vs Linux
Swift vs Objective-C
Emacs vs Vim
GPL vs Apache License vs MIT license
Android vs iOS vs Windows phone*
Skype vs Facetime
GIF vs GIF
Peppermint vs Spearmint**
Men vs Women
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
IM HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE, SO STOP PREACHING OR I'LL STAB YOU!
I found a cool project on GitHub. I forked it and added a simple dev server with the intent of making it more accessible which could lead to more activity = improved project. I created a PR with small concise commits with very informative messages.
The guy who owns the project comments and says "I don't want your dev server, I have an apache instance locally on my computer". I tell him "Ok sure, but wouldn't it be nice if everyone else also had a nice dev server which can be started with a single command?", and other people join the PR and agree with me that we should make it available for everyone.
But the fucking idiot doesn't care, "No, I prefer to use my apache server". YOU FUCKING ASS WIPE, why do you even put it up on GitHub if you don't want contributions to make your project better and more available? I saw other open PRs where he basically did the same thing, left a snarky comment without merging it. What a fucking tool. Worst spent time ever.
The story of my webshop with this fuckin' asshole continues! I decided to stop with the webshop as my partner didn't do anything, so I handed over my shares to my business partner. This was done formally at the notary. Immediately after, we agreed that I would hand over everything that same week. 1 day later I cannot access any accounts. He said that a hand over was not necessary and that he took appropriate measures. Now, 4 months later, I got a letter from a collection agency telling me to hand over the tradename. Uhm what? Tradename? I don't own it so I replied that there's nothing to hand over. A day later again a letter that he will sue me if I don't hand over the tradename. Mr. Prick Lawyer, I understand that you mean the DOMAINname, but why the fuck do you keep referring to the tradename?! You too stupid to understand the difference? So, to get rid of this crap I made an offer to sell him the domainname, which he accepted. But mr. Asshole moved the shop to a different hostingprovider thinking that the dns would be magocally updated. Of course not asshole. So I offered (to be cooperative) to update dns so his site will work again. I did. A day later again a letter that site still not reachable and he'd sue me for all damages etc.
What a muppet show! You think ypu can sue me because YOU made a config mistake? He's a funny guy! I told the lawyer to not send me any 'issues' caused by mr. Asshole's unprofessional acting and if he does, I'll charge him for every second spent.
Today mr. Asshole's webshop says 'Apache is functioning normally' and that's it. Well done, asshole! See how eaay my job is and how little knowledge it requires? You proved ypu can do it yourself Big boy! Good luck selling shit on your website. Good luck with your seo rankings. And good luck fucking yourself in the ass!
Now I'm going to sue you because of copyrights violations. You use my software and you don't have a license. Either pay or remove it or I'll make you pay!5
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS
Omfg never been so fucking pissed in my life.
I just wasted 3 hours because this fucking bullshit rewrites the fucking URL based on the URL on a config fucking file?!!?
It fucking ignores: apache virtual host configs and nginx reverse proxy
Not just another Windows rant:
*Disclaimer* : I'm a full time Linux user for dev work having switched from Windows a couple of years ago. Only open Windows for Photoshop (or games) or when I fuck up my Linux install (Arch user) because I get too adventurous (don't we all)
I have hated Windows 10 from day 1 for being a rebel. Automatic updates and generally so many bugs (specially the 100% disk usage on boot for idk how long) really sucked.
It's got ads now and it's generally much slower than probably a Windows 8 install..
The pathetic memory management and the overall slower interface really ticks me off. I'm trying to work and get access to web services and all I get is hangups.
Chrome is my go-to browser for everything and the experience is sub par. We all know it gobbles up RAM but even more on Windows.
My Linux install on the same computer flies with a heavy project open in Android Studio, 25+ tabs in Chrome and a 1080p video playing in the background.
Up until the creators update, UI bugs were a common sight. Things would just stop working if you clicked them multiple times.
But you know what I'm tired of more?
The ignorant pricks who bash it for being Windows. This OS isn't bad. Sure it's not Linux or MacOS but it stands strong.
You are just bashing it because it's not developer friendly and it's not. It never advertises itself like that.
It's a full fledged OS for everyone. It's not dev friendly but you can make it as much as possible but you're lazy.
People do use Windows to code. If you don't know that, you're ignorant. They also make a living by using Windows all day. How bout tha?
But it tries to make you feel comfortable with the recent bash integration and the plethora of tools that Microsoft builds.
IIS may not be Apache or Nginx but it gets the job done.
Azure uses Windows and it's one of best web services out there. It's freaking amazing with dead simple docs to get up and running with a web app in 10 minutes.
I saw many rants against VS but you know it's one of the best IDEs out there and it runs the best on Windows (for me, at least).
I'm pissed at you - you blind hater you.
Research and appreciate the things good qualities in something instead of trying to be the cool but ignorant dev who codes with Linux/Mac but doesn't know shit about the advantages they offer.22
I had spent the last year working on a online store power by woocommerce with over 100k products from various suppliers. This online store utilized a custom API that would take the various formats that suppliers offer their inventory in and made them consistent. Now everything was going swimmingly initially, but then I began adding more and more products using a plug-in called WP all import. I reached around 100k products and the site would take up to an entire minute to load sometimes timing out. I got desperate so I installed several caching plugins, but to no avail this did not help me. The site was originally only supposed to take three to four months but ended up taking an entire year. Then, just yesterday I found out what went wrong and why this woocommerce website with all of these optimizations was still taking anywhere from 60 to 90 seconds to load, or just timing out entirely. I had initially thought that I needed a beefier server so I moved it to a high CPU digitalocean VM. While this did help a little bit, the site was still very slow and now I had very high CPU usage RAM usage and high disk IO. I was seriously stumped the Apache process was using a high amount of CPU and IO along with MYSQL as well. It wasn't until I started digging deeper into the database that I actually found out what the issue was. As I was loading the site I would run 'show process list' in the SQL terminal, I began to notice a very significant load time for one of the tables, so I went to go and check it out. What I did was I ran a select all query on that particular table just to see how full it was and SQL returned a error saying that I had exceeded the maximum packet size. So I was like okay what the fuck...
So I exited my SQL and re-entered it this time with a higher packet size. I ran a query that would count how many rows were in this particular table and the number came out to being in the millions. I was surprised, and what's worse is that this table belong to a plugin that I had attempted to use early in the development process to cache the site. The plugin was deactivated but apparently it had left PHP files within the wp content directory outside of the actual plugin directory, so it's still executing scripts even though the plugin itself was disabled. Basically every time I would change anything on the site, it would recache the whole thing, and it didn't delete any old records. So 100k+ products caching on saves with no garbage collection... You do the math, it's gonna be a heavy ass database. Not only that but it was serialized data, so when it did pull this metric shit ton of spaghetti from the database, PHP then had to deserialize it. Hence the high ass CPU load. I had caching enabled on the MySQL end of things so that ate the ram. I was really desperate to get this thing running.
Honest to God the main reason why this website took so long was because the load times made it miserable to work on. I just thought that the hardware that I had the site on was inadequate. I had initially started the development on a small Linux VM which apparently wasn't enough, which is why I moved it to digitalocean which also seemed to not be enough, so from there I moved to a dedicated server which still didn't seem to be enough. I was probably a few more 60-second wait times or timeouts from recommending a server cluster to my client who I know would not be willing to purchase it. The client who I promised this site to have completed in 3 months and has waited a year. Seriously, I would tell people the struggles that I would go through with this particular site and they would just tell me to just drop the site; just take the money, just take the loss. I refused to, this was really the only thing that was kicking my ass. I present myself as this high-and-mighty developer like I'm just really good at what I do but then I have this WordPress site that's just beating the shit out of me for a year. It was a very big learning experience and it was also very humbling as well, it made me realize that I really don't know as much as I think I might. It was evidence that there is still so much more to learn out there, I did learn a lot from that experience especially about optimizing websites the different types of methods to do that particular lonely on the server side and I'll be able to utilize this knowledge in the future.
I guess the moral of the story is, never really give up. Ultimately things might get so bad that you're running on hopes and dreams. Those experiences are generally the most humbling. Now I can finally present the site that I am basically a year late on to the client who will be so happy that I did not give up on the project entirely. I'll have experienced this feeling of pure euphoria, and help the small business significantly grow their revenue. Helping others is very fulfilling for me, even at my own expense.
Anyways, gonna stop ranting. Running out of characters. If you're still here... Ty for reading :')8
So like a year ago I decided that I was gonna learn programming. And the thing that popped into my head was HTML and CSS. So I browsed some websites where you could learn some HTML and stuff. But I never really got into it and eventually stopped and moved on. Now I just kind of got a sudden urge again to learn programming and build a website again. So I started browsing some sites and found a suitable one. Since I'd already kinda learned the basics it was all kind of just repetition. And now I've got a very basic site set up with Apache that I was thinking I'm gonna use as my homepage. And I also got my very first experience not understanding what the fuck is wrong and browsing stack overflow for an eternity. Turns out it was a simple missing semicolon. Welcome me to the dev world!5
Webmin because why not ✓
Lamp stack ✓
Dynamic DNS client ✓
Dear DigitalOcean. SINCE WHEN do you consider a PMA installation
without Https SECURE?
And why the fuck do you make me install an aptitude package that skips both file system AND Apache config cleanup on purging?
It's just a raspberry, but if it runs lamp I want PMA, and if it runs anything, I want Https. Is that too much to ask for from a tutorial source otherwise so reliable that I do anything you say without a questioning thought?8
Why the fuck don't you provision and configure the cloud virtual machine yourself, "web lead" guy who uses fucking WINDOWS to develop software? Why don't you install Webmin and PHPMyAdmin in the VM yourself if you like GUIs so much? Why do I have to configure Apache and MySQL and fix all sorts of little issues for your project just so you can use some shitty CMS? I'm not your fucking IT support guy. Go learn how to use Unix, take responsibility for your shit, and let me spend my time actually developing software.10
How much do you earn for your skill set in your country vs your cost of living?
See how much I & others earn.
Recently I became aware of just how massive the gap in developers earnings are between countries. I'd love to calculate a fixed score for income vs cost of living.
I know this stuff is sensitive to some so if you prefer just post your score (avg income p/m after tax / cost of living).
I'm not shy so I'll go first:
Normal Rate (Long term): $23
Consulting / Short term: $30-$74
Pen Test: $1500 once off.
Pen Test Fixes: consulting rate.
Simple work/websites: min $400+
Family & Friends: Dev friends are usually free (when mutually beneficial). Family and others can fuck off, even if they can pay (I pass their info to dev friends with fair warning).
Experience: 9 years
Country: South Africa
Developer rareness in country: Very Rare (+-90 job openings per job seeker).
Middle class wage in country: $1550 p/m (can afford a new car, decent apartment & some luxuries like beer/eating out).
Employment type: Permanent though I can and do freelance occasionally.
Client Locality: Mostly local.
Developer Type: Web Developer (True web dev - I do anything web related from custom HTTP servers to sockets, services, advanced browser api's, apps & more).
STACKS / SKILLSETS
I'M PROFICIENT IN:
I DABBLE WITH:
ASP.net, C++, ruby, GO, nginx, tesseract
application architecture, automation, integrations, db's, real time data, advanced browser apps/extensions (webRTC, canvas etc).
Avg income p/m after tax: $2250
Cost of living (car+rent+food): $1200
*Note: For integrity when calculating my cost of living I excluded debt repayments and only kept my necessities which are transport, food & shelter.
I really hope you guy's post your results, it would be great to get an idea of which is really the worst / best country to be a developer in.20
Fuck you apache server...
Why did your dumb ass developers decide it was a good idea to not support "expect 100 continue headers". I seriously suspect that the devs were high smoking dragon dildo ashes like they were getting ready to get a whole chair shoved up their asses.
I wasted alot of time thinking i was getting a 417 http code because i fucked up my API implementation... No, it was the dumb apache server that decided to give me the finger.
Also, whoever built the HttpClient for .net framework 4... Fuck you too for automatically adding that dumb header to PUT requests and not properly documenting this or allowing for it to be disabled in a non hacky way.
I appreciate and enjoy solving coding problems... I, however, can't stand dumb decisions like the two above.
Your projects' page let's me view all the projects sorted by category, language, etc.
But I can't view a description... I have to open the link...
Starts writing a scraper and realizes the project list is not static, it's loaded from a JSON document using JS... The document has all the descriptions and other info...
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT SHOW THIS ON THE PAGE BUT MAKE EVERYONE OPEN ANOTHER PAGE SEE THEM...
Spends an hour writing an app in C# to parse the json because a simple Flattener isn't good enough because of the structure...
Probably going to end up creating a GUI so I can browse it more easily and Star the ones I may be interested in...3
Marketing department sometimes are so Fucking annoying in the context of they " just found out certain technology" and try to enforce us to implement.
For example recently this guys just found out firebase(Firestore thingy ) and keep asking us to implement into the app (E wallet app) which our software architect refuse to use firebase( I agree with him) because in the long run , the project will definitely get surprising prices in the invoice.
Also, our DBA had started to implement Apache Cassandra .....
So dear marketing department, why don't you guys shut up and let us do our job and let our software architect do his job? Fuck off!14
how is it that you fail to update and fuck up every Apache config file existing on the server.
Why can't I just be a lazy dev tonight, instead of fixing your moronic actions upon those files, one by one.
Why is it that you frigging forget to close Directory tags properly.
Why is it that you show a Forbidden page when everything seems to be finally ok.
And why is it that I can not re-generate that shit with one button.
Fuck this shit.
sudo rm -rf /2
Looking to sharpen and pursue a SysAdmin/DevOps career, looking at online job offers to get the big picture of required skills and I say FUCK. It would take me a lifetime.
Azure, AWS, Google cloud platform.
CD tools: Ansible, Chef or Puppet
Scripting ninja with Python/Node and Shell/Power shell.
Linux & Windows administration
Mongo, MySQL and their relatives.
Networking, troubleshooting failure in disturbed systems
Familiarity with different stacks. Fuck. (Apache, nginx, etc..)
Monitoring infrastructure ( nagios, datadog .. )
CI tools: jenkins, maven, etc..
DB versioning: liquibase, flyway etc.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Are they looking for Voltron? FUCK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF MY DEEP FUCK.1
Fuck you PuPHPet 😒😣
php doesn't work in apache after all the trouble i went to get Puphpet to work with vagrant. Not sure how this supposed to improve the work flow if i have to spend a day trying to make it work.
Maybe I'm missing something coz I'm still new to vagrant stuff. But geez... Isn't these kind of things supposed to make your god damned life easier 😒
Soo I finally uploaded my framework for Java Web last week.
It works great except for forwarding POST requests but meh, I'll fix it later.
Currently it only works for newer Minecraft Spigot version's and BungeeCord, because fucking netty is a piece of shit and Apache commons also... But I'll release a standalone version hopefully next month (maybe even next weekend).
And on the website from Spigot where you can find the link to my GitHub, there were two dicks which tried to steal my code and complained about my obfuscation... The didn't even fucking tried the plugin and gave me 1 star... Fucking pieces of shit fuck...
Anyway: here is the link!
lets try again.
What the fuck is with apache. Why I cannot start the page. it should be 5 minutes work.
but it give some shitty error where it is not clear what is wrong
This site can’t be reached timetracker.local’s server IP address could not be found.
Checking the connection
Checking the proxy, firewall, and DNS configuration
Running Windows Network Diagnostics
how long apache is being developed? 10 years ? more? and cannot make normal error messages so you would know how to fix the problem . fuck that. I hate it so much. wasting my time. bastards.14
I had to work on a new apache server, after 3 hours of trying to figure out why this price of cap doesn't obey my will, I found out the SElinux in on(fuck you mode)
Today wasted around 5 hours installing nginx, apache stills working and keeping listen on 80 port after uninstalling it reboot finally the thing was i dont change the fucking dns of the server and trying to connect to the domain 5 hours later tried to connect to the ip... Fuck my life1