When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

And it finally arrived! Really pleased with it 😎

!rant.
Here's some useful git tricks. Use with care and remember to be careful to only rewrite history when noones looking.

- git rebase: powerful history rewriting. Combine commits, delete commits, reorder commits, etc.

- git reflog: unfuck yourself. Move back to where you were even if where you were was destroyed by rebasing or deleting. Git never deletes commits that you've seen within at least the last 50 HEAD changes, and not at all until a GC happens, so you can save yourself quite often.

- git cherry-pick: steal a commit into another branch. Useful for pulling things out of larger changesets.

- git worktree: checkout a different branch into a different folder using the same git repository.

- git fetch: get latest commits and origin HEADs without impacting local braches.

- git push --force-with-lease: force push without overwriting other's changes

Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github

Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free

You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.

Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git

So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.

Just saw a repository with branch name - 👶

bitbucket gives this - git fetch && git checkout 👶 for checking it out,
wondering how would anyone checkout this branch without copy pasting the above line from the web xD

I forgot to git fetch, so I spent quite a while doing exactly WHAT MY TEAMMATE HAD DONE JUST HOURS AGO

a tale of daily frustration:

git fetch
*yup I'm up-to-date ...*
git add -p .
*hack in beautiful patch ...*
git status -bs
*correct branch, didn't forget any files ...*
git diff --cached
*yep, that is what I mean to commit ...*
git commit -m"[TKT-NUM] Meaningful commit message"
git log -p -1
*double-checking ... looks good ...*
git push remote tkt-num-etc

*for a brief moment feel accomplished ...*

*notice typo in commit message ...*

I don't have a funny image or punchline to sum this post up. But know that if you recognise this feeling, then I am your brother in git.

TL;DR : do we need a read-only git proxy

Guys, I just thought about something and this potential gitpocalypse.

There is no doubt anymore that regardless of Microsoft's decisions about Github, some projects will or already have migrated to the competition.

I'm thinking : some projects use the git link to fetch the code. If a dependency gets migrated, it won't be updated anymore, or worse, if the previous repo gets deleted, it can break the project.

Hence my idea : create some repository facade to any public git repository (regardless of their actual location).
Instead of using github.com/any/thing.git, we could use opensourcegit.com/any/thing.git. (fake url for the sake of the example).
It would redirect to the right repository (for public read only), and the owner could change the location of the actual repository in case of a migration.

What do you think ? If I get enough ++'s, I'll create a git repo about this.

Why does visual studio take so long to uninstall? Is it because they want to give me time to hit that cancel button?

devops showed me another alias today
git fap
fap=fetch all prune

(New account because my main account is not anonymous)
Let's rant!

I'm 3 exams away from my CS degree, I've chosen to do some internship instead of another exam, thinking was a great idea.

Now I'm in this company, where I've never met anyone because of pandemic. A little overview:
- No git, we exchange files on whatsapp (spicy versioning)
- Ideas are foggy, so they ask for change even if I met their requirements, because from a day to another they change
- My thesis supervisor is not in the IT field, he understands nothing

The first (and only) task they gave me, was a web page to make request to their server, fetch data etc.
Two months passed trying to met their requests, there were a lot of dynamic content changin on the page, so I asked if I could use some rendering framework to make the code less shitty, no answers.
I continued doing shitty code in plain JS.

Another intern guy graduated, I've to mantain his code. This guy once asked me "Why have you created 8 js modules to accomplish the web page job?", I just answered saying that was my way of work, since we're on the same level in the company I didn't felt to explain things like usability, maintainability etc. it's like I've a bit of imposter syndrome, so I've never 100% sure that my knowledge is correct.
Now we came at the point where I've got his code to mantain, and guess what:
900 lines of JS module that does everything from rendering to fetching data..

I do my tasks on his code, then a bug arises so the "managers" ask him what's happened (why don't you ask to me that I'm mantaing is code!?!?), he fixes the bug nonetheless he finished his intership. So we had two copies of the same work, one with my job done and still with his bug, and another one without my work and without the bug.
I ask how to merge, and they send me the lines changed (the numeration was changed on my file ofc, remember: no git...)

Now we arrive today, after a month that they haven't assigned any task to me and they say:
"Ok, now let's re-do everything with this spicy fancy stunning frontend framework".
A very "indie" Framework that now I've to study to "translate" my work. A thing that could be avoided when I've asked for a framework, 2/3 MONTHS AGO.

I think of git as if it was my dog. For added fun name your remote "slippers". Then you can exec "git fetch slippers"

Company has a severe lack of fresh blood.

"let's recruit everyone who has an IQ over room temperature and barely passes the mark".

Me protesting bloody murder cause I know that the idea is not just profoundly dumb, but frustration from high staff turnover takes a toll on *everyone*.

"nah can't be that bad".

Then the discussion started who could do monitoring and mentoring, so we can sort out the bad apples *quickly*.

Me reminding again that this is exactly what leads to a high staff turnover, as this is nothing else than "hire, hire - quickly fire".

Guess who won the award of being the mentor / monitor ....

*drum roll*

Come on, I know you would NEVER expect this.

Let me surprise you: M E.

Yeah. They chose the person that was absolutely against this idea...

Because that person is "most qualified for the task at hand and has the necessary qualifications".

Today was the first 4 h workshop with a new recruit.

The Lord has had zero mercy on me.

I started to mute myself after 30 minutes in regular intervals to just scream and curse the world.

How profound dumb a person can be amazes me.

Person has had a "very expensive 6 month boot camp course".

I was close asking if the boot camp course was in watching porn and wanking their brain cells out....

Git... Yeah he knew what he was doing...

Except that he messed up every commit by either not sticking to the companies format or - what I found funny the first 2 times, then not so much anymore - just writing a git commit message like a 15 year old teenage girl would write to their diary.

Programming. Oh yeah. He should be a programmer.

He had much Bootcamp.

Bootcamp expensive. Bootcamp good.

If someone is unable to iterate over an iterator... And instead starts creating an integer based array of a map's key name to then fetch the map value in an for loop based on the created key array.

Yeah. Bootcamp much good.

Creating DTOs...

It took an hour to write a DTO with him... Cause constructors are hard and it's even harder when you have to explain primitive datatypes in Java, null safety, constructors, NPEs, final, ...

Like really no experience at all.

The next week's will be amazing.

Either I get a valium drop or I'm gonna blow my head off, cause mentoring will drain the last bit of hope I had left in me.

Note that I do not blame the recruit (yeah he's dumb. But he has ZERO work experience, so it's not unexpected), I'm just too fed up with getting the poo crown despite being against the whole process.

I think the recruit could make it..........

But that I got the shittiest job ever is really haunting me.

I dunno how I survive the next weeks.

And this is just the first recruit... There will be more.

Cleaning up after yourself if so damn important. Even your git repos:

# always be pruning
git fetch -p

# delete your merged branches
git branch --merged | grep -v master | xargs -n 1 git branch -d

# purge remote branches that are merged
git branch -r --merged | grep -v master | sed 's/origin\///' | xargs -n 1 git push --delete origin

Why the fuck is my git slower than a lobotomized snail when running a fetch operation on like 30 remotes?!?!

Share your own useful terminal aliases here:

- grm=git rebase origin master
- gforbm=git fetch origin && git rebase origin master
- vm=vim Makefile
- idea=vim ~/repos/ideas/README.md (where I store all my programming ideas)

I had a small .NET PoC project I wanted to upload to our git server. So added the project to version control using Visual Studio, meaning that VS created a local repository for it. Then I wanted to push it to the remote repository which were created by my colleague. This one was initialized with a commit (.gitignore and Readme.md), so I couldn't push directly. Googled a bit, OK then tried to fetch the remote repo, didn't help. Googled again, tried some "git push origin master whatever" stuff and then rebate, because nothing seemed to help.
OOPS where are my local files? WTF? 😣

Long story short: Experience in other version control systems is not enough or even dangerous when switching over to git. 😂

Me: Ok I've updated the docs, I'll open a PR with the changes

Maintainer: Looks great! Can you remove the changes to the package-lock.json? (I assume it got updated when you ran npm install to start the webserver)

Me: Ok sure, I'll update it soon

And this is where the troubles begin. The file was commited 2 commits ago, so I have to roll back to then. However, the remote repository has been updated since then, so I git fetch to keep up to date.

This makes the rollback a hell of a lot harder, so I run git log to see the history. I try a reset, but I went back to the wrong commit, and now a shit ton of files are out of sync.

I frantically google 'reset a git reset', and come across the reflog command. Running that fucks things up even worse, and now so much shit is out of sync that even git seems confused.

I try to fix the mess I've created, and so I git pull from my forked repo to get myself back to where I was. Git starts screaming at me about out of sync files, so I try to find a way to overwrite local changes from the origin.

And by this point, the only way to describe what the local repo looks like is a dumpster fire clusterfuck that was involved in a train wreck

I resolved the mess by just deleting the local copy and git cloning again from my fork.

I gotta learn how to use Git better

Ok, so I have been lurking around here for a while now. Not at all knowing what to rant about. I like my work, I don't have to deal too much with annoying (or almost any at all) customers and all in all I feel fine.
However, I feel like I want to, in some way step into this awesome community in other ways than just comments and ++.

So this post will be about a book. It's almost our Bible. Well it's probably the closest thing to a proper part of the trilogy we will get.
And for not being written by Douglas Adams (the almighty) himself; this book is surprisingly good! If you haven't, and get your hands on it, do read it!

Gotta love it when checking out tickets gives you the template screen 😁

Currently, I refactor some code in a private project at home. Yesterday I ran tests and some things didn't work I thought I already fixed. After I fixed them other things were broke and again errors felt familiar. With every fix and every new error I was more and more sure, I already did exactly the same things before. I thought, maybe it is a Déjà-vu or I dreamed about that.
After two hours, when everything was working again, I realized I did all this two nights before in a branch and totally forgot about it.
I wasn't even drunk -.-'

Why eclipse?
Why did you think that implementing git yourself was a good idea?
Why? Fucking why?
Now when I switch to my development branch and it's a few commits behind I get lock fails when I fetch. And when I pull?
I'm fucking 32 commits in front of the branch? Like what the Fuck eclipse?
How can you pull those commits from the repo without fetching?
... I use the command like now.

Anyone else out there feel like Git is like Charlie Brown’s “stupid kite-eating tree” that just lies in wait at code deploy time to ruin you? I can never get it right. Either I’m doing some edits and realize I’m on the wrong branch or the master is inexplicably ahead of local (or vice versa) and even though I can see in the git log where things went wrong, it’s like crossing a freeway blindfolded and hoping my git fetch or reset or merge doesn’t blow everything to hell. WHYYYY IS THIS SO DAMN HARD?!

I was doing something in Git, switching and I guess another process was doing a fetch and now all the files no meter what bench I'm in says Unstaged/Untracked.

I tried deleting the main branch and checking it out again from remote but nothing.

I have no idea what I did or how to fix... Seems like I need to delete the whole folder... But then I'd lose any changes in feature branches out local branches which afternoon checked in....

Update local removed git branches
You can update the removed branches on your local machine by
git fetch --prune --all

I hate Intellij Idea but it's best option available to develop in Scala. Improvements in VSCode/Metals is my last hope.

The (few) things I NEED from Intellij:
* Very good autocompletion
* Refactoring tools (renaming, auto imports)
* Search tools (find usages, sub/super-types)

The (many) things I hate of Intellij:

* Layout with panel sizes doesn't behave properly and it scales instead of remaining fixed.

* Tedious 2-hands shortcuts makes the right hand to move a lot from the mouse

* Delays and lag in the UI, freezes on garbage collection

* High memory consumption, high CPU usage and generally slow and cumbersome

* The delay in the UI between commands is so that it's accidentally possible to introduce typos

* Can't move tabs around and organize them as I like

* Ugly font rendering and missing typography settings

* Multi-caret implementation as a different editing mode is annoying because requires frequent switching

* Unnatural code folding regions, why method arguments are not folded with the method?

* Unhelpful support forum, sometimes dismissive answers

* Highlighting of current word under the caret doesn't work

* Very slow editor, can't keep spacebar pressed to move text or it hangs!

* Several settings reset at every update. Like the auto fetch of git

* New features are added and enabled by default which is very invasive

* Some of the features mentioned above are really annoying and it's not possible/not trivial to disable them

* It uses its own compile and several times it highlights false positives

I work in a small team. As the senior dev I tens to focus on important tasks that shape the core of the product but some times I can’t divide my self when there are multiple tasks at hand, so I pass some tasks to the an other mid level dev.

So the task was to create an automation in order to CD (continuously deliver) an order from WHMCS of the (git versioned) product to customers UAT, PROD envs.

To get a background this is an old guy with “constricted” experience in PHP/jQuery/Joomla/Wordpress.

So when we were breaking up the tasks he told me he would like to implement this so i gave him the task as i was busy with core features.

I was like what could go wrong? I know he doesn’t know much about CI/CD but he can read right? He will google right? He will search for CI/CD solutions that do this out of the box right? He will design on paper or what ever and do small POCs right? He will design the flow first before starting the implementation right? RIGHT?

So fast forward to today I had a call with him this morning about some DB staff. And he wanted to show me his progress…

His solution is:
(parentheses is my brain)
1. Customer completes WHMCS order (perfect)
2. Web Hook 🪝 action (YES)
3. cpanel gets source and “automatic!” Init, all using pure PHP code ignoring the usage of the current framework (ok… something is missing)
4. cpanel web hooks(?) WHMCS to send email to customer with the envs initial setup page(?)
5. Customer opens link and adds setup info (ok fuck, fuck, fuck)

(Ok stay cool composed, lets ask some questions maybe he thought it all in a cool way I can’t get my mind around)

Me: So how are you gonna get the correct version from the repo to the env and init the correct schema?

Dev: I haven’t thought about it yet.

Me: Are we gonna save each version to a file system then your code is going to fetch them?

Dev: I haven’t really thought about it we will see. But look on customer init user setup I implemented a password strength validation and it also checks if the password is the same.

So after this Pokémon encounter I politely closed teams. Stood up drank some (a lot) coffee ☕️. Put out the washed laundry while reflecting on life’s good things, while listening to classical music 🎼 .

Then I sat on my office chair drank some more coffee, put some linking park starting with in that order:
“Numb” then “What I’ve Done” and ended with “In the end, it does really fucking matter”

So, here I am, trying to get started with fucking heroku and failing miserably again and again. I deploy my app, I fetch with git, I try to push, and guess what: IMPOSSIBLE TO FETCH. WHY!?
Simple, I've already deployed and fetched may app, but I wasn't thinking, just doing a said...
Feel so stupid when type like a monkey... Now I know the only I had to do was learn heroku commands. And it took me only three hours to notice...

If i have 2 branches on git
- main
- infra

You cannot push directly to main. It is forbidden. You can only merge to main

Now. Once i push to infra branch. Assuming all the shit went good pipeline passed tests passed etc. Then i merge it to main.

Now

Locally while im on infra branch. I have to pull latest changes from main otherwise ill fuck up everything and cause conflicts.

After trial and error i realized i just have to do:
git fetch

This fetches all shits from main (defaukt branch) into infra branch. And now it works. No rebase. No pull. Wtf?

Is this the correct way to do it?

Also i need someone to explain this to me like im 5:
- git pull
- git pull --rebase
- git fetch

What is the difference between those 3 commands? I tried googling and chatgpting but i cant seem to understand any explanation. Explain it to me in simple terms with examples

Question about GIT regarding intellij idea. I have a local branch develop and I perform a git fetch via GUI. I see develop gets a blue arrow meaning that there are some remote changes that happened. In the past I would just click on that branch and click update, but I noticed that sometimes fetched commits from remote get applied to my branch in a weird way, for example they get merged. Later when I want to make an MR I get duplicate commits because git doesnt recognize that my branch has these changes already.

Right now I just delete that develop branch and check it out again, to make sure I'm working on a proper develop.

Wondering if there is a better way of doing this instead of deleting develop branch and checking it out again each time?

Contractor: I've finished those data receipt RAG reports for each of the feeds.

Me: OK, cool.

git fetch
gitk

Wonders why I have a new report class for each feed when they all do the same thing and the data is homogeneous.

Why you hate me so much contractor???

The only time I didn't envy git is when most of the team had to refetch after our lead front-end developer deleted trunk, committed the deletion, and then a backender had to re-base it off his repo. Until then, I thought only my dog could fetch for days.