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Search - "winter is coming"
This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7
Came across a nice comparison today:
GoT: Countless characters and competing factions fighting for influence.
Winter is on its way, so Devvy has wrapped up warm. (His face was redrawn since he got rather faded)6
me : Why are fire trucks red?
Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)
!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.
Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.
Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!
Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
Is anyone coming to South Korea for the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics?
If you do, make sure to come with Korean Air, Delta, Air France, and KLM. They get to use the new Incheon Airport Terminal 2 soon.6
The date and location for the devRant NL winter meetup are set:
January 4, in Nijmegen!
Exact location to be set, recommendations and ideas are welcome, as always!
If anyone wants to join who didn't sign up via the link, just give a shout :)25
Hello winter depression. I showed up at work at 3pm. I should write a concept for restructuring our IT department. But I'm surrounded by people who have the misconception that design is just making things pretty. And they laugh at the idea to conduct user interviews to improve the situation. It's expected that I finish this until two weeks. Because thats when my contract ends. Job hunt starts again. I lost my motivation for everything. Let me be 😕4
When I had to choose a service, I chose bitbucket. Now the other two are getting flamed. Seems like I chose right. But in the end who knows what is good and what is bad. Peaches are delicious. Winter is coming. And I definitely don't care.5
Hey everyone! This is a long one so get comfy~
TLDR; I'm glad to be back in the presence of all you awesome people. 2019 was a dream and I have a lot of you to thank for that.
If you've noticed, I've been away for a while. I took a sabbatical from a lot of my socials (including github - or at least public github :( this summer. Let me explain:
In late April/early May, I applied and got an internship at RBC (a big bank company in Canada) found out I'm getting flown out to San Fran for a talk I gave at a summit, and got accepted to this 2 week physics [Quantum Cryptography] camp @ UWaterloo. So I had quiet the summer. In order to throw myself into work and friends and all that, I decided that I was going to take a break. Although I took a break from Github I was still active on Github Enterprise for my job but outside of that I didn't do much.
Don't worry though, now that it's fall/winter season, I'll be in my room for way too long so it's back to the usual grind. Currently, I'm in the process of planning a hackathon, prepping for picoCTF 2019, filling out University applications, all while dealing with school :) I've got a lot of projects/things coming up so ya'll will hear more from me :D3
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.
(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.
(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid?1
Winter is coming so I got that stupid idea just now.
Let’s make and wear big winter hats with road signs on it to see how self driving cars would react to this 🤣🤣🤣8
Out top management has made the decision that our managers must have billable work as well on projects. I feel like winter is coming.4
How about this..
So a few months ago there's this guy
He did nothing else.
He did not cover his mouth.
He did not even do it in his elbow.
He just did it.
He did it at a fish market in china..
And now today as the world is grinding to a hault I just hope he is satisfied.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??!
So anyway trapped at home. Nothing to do. Its cold today. Got to reduce the fan speeds on that rigs and bump the power a bit. There not so cold now :)
Ok on a serious note that coughing idiot is to blame for this cold.
One ICE AGE coming up. Global warming fans hold on to your chai. This one is a shocker..
So it turns out shutting down the world have caused CO2 levels to drop as cars dont drive and factories dont work and all the powerplants suddenly find people no longer want more power.
Thing is plantd are addaptive and they enlage the pores on the underside of thier leaves depending on the CO2 levels.
So the plants been running at 100% eat CO2 for a while now.
Then CO2 supply drop to lowest in 100 years.
Plants still eating CO2 at 100% so they did not get memmo yet. CO2 now getting used up faster than being made. Greenhouse no more.
Polar ice caps nows your turn.
First up south pole winter is coming your way.
It will freeze ice cap bigger than past 100 years. The ice will sit there making earth lobsided with all the ice on one end and none on the other .
Lobsided earth is a spinning ball
Lobsided balls change how they spin
The rotation of earh now affected by a cough.
In 6-8 months winter goes north.
CO2 all but eaten up by then. World still rather dead as the afternath is felt.
Northen poler cap freeze all the way to london again. First time in 5000 years.
All because of a bloody cough.
Its the end of the world as we know it and here i am waiting for unreal to complie just like usual..
So remember dont cough near others if someone cough near you then tel them to
Many of you commented on my previous rant regarding my first ever freelance gig that I would definitely be back with even more to rant... here I am.
What was supposedly a 1 to 1.5 month long project became one that is stretching beyond 3, if lucky, else 4 months long. Requirements and scope evolving more complex and with variations more intense than pokemon evolutions.
I fucked up. I signed a contract that nobody would have. I didn't plan or protect my ass enough to prevent such shit from happening. I severely underestimated and hence under quoted. This is one of the nightmare situations a freelancer could be in (in my opinion). I mean it could only get better... Right? I'm preparing myself for one hell of a payment at the end of the project. Brace yourself, payment is hopefully coming as fast as the number of seasons it took for winter to come in GoT.
On the bright side, I'm currently working on a new project with a client that is indeed much much better than this first. I mean he is a nice person and communications thus far has been nothing short of great.
I guess it's good to start with your expectations rock bottom, that way nothing else can be worse, I hope.
Sometimes I feel like moving to the equator for the temperature. Winter is pretty and all but programming with cold fingers is just such a pain7
And now I have to use it.
But not only that. Some in the company made the interesting decision of insiating on angular.js with polymer elements.
I am not a happy person right now.
Winter is here!
The silver lining here is that the project itselft may die before even having started, so there's still hope.
Is it wrong of me to hope that this contract catches fire and all those involved spontaneousely combust? Just kidding...i'll still feel this way even if it's wrong.