Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "wolf"
Worst dev I've interviewed?
"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).
Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."
Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"
Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.
The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")
After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."
Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."
After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).38
I am a developer for almost 12 years (I am 24 now, I started early), but all my life I've been a lone wolf. I didn't share code, I didn't had to do peer reviews. The only opportunity that I had to do this in a company, it was completely messed up experience and I ended up being the only developer over there, so there was no one to see or review what I was doing.
So I basically grew up my entire life working by myself with no supervision.
It made me a very possessive person about my code and besides knowing that I am a highly above average developer, I can't show it to others because I think they might not really like what they'll see.
The thing is, this is a very stupid conclusion. If they have something to tell me, it means that there's something to learn, to evolve. After months of struggle, last year I've finally open sourced a project -- which in the time was my greatest thing of all time, so imagine how hard was that for me.
The reception was pretty good and even one of Meteor's maintainers gave me a star. Since then, I've been slowly opening the source of some legacy projects that would usually go straight to the trash bin.
So that's the moral of the story people: Don't be shy of your work, make code reviews, learn with other people about your weaknesses -- you'll never know them by yourself.4
MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS 10. YOU COCKROACH COCK SUCKING PIECE OF AQUAMAN'S LEFT NUT.
If I put you in hibernation I do NOT want you to WAKE THE FUCK UP WHEN ITS AROUND THAT TIME A NIGHT WHEN TEEN WOLF IS SPREADING HIS STD'S TO DIAMOND-SKINNED DOUCHEBAGS. (Middle of the night)
AND WAKE ME BECAUSE OF YOUR SOUND AND LIGHT.
Goddamnit how hard is it to let a computer hibernate, but no, they had to add shit functions that makes it update itself or something in the middle of the night.
I'm going to tear the functions out of your retro ass till you will fucking obey my every command. You will fucking hibernate when I say so till when I say so or I'll replace you with linux18
I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.
It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.
The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.
My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.
From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.
Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.
I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.
I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.
I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.
I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.
I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.
The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."
The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.
So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.
I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.4
This will always hold a special place in my heart.. Makes me so nostalgic every time. It's what got me into computers8
So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.
That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...
They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.
Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?
Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.
So the same guy who called Ninetails from Naruto a wolf is PM in this project with me
During scrum meeting:
PM: I read the project scope again and I realised there are scopes that we didn't get it. Each time I read the scope there's something new.
Me: *Sure, the scope is fucked with a long 8 feet dragon dildo to start with*
PM: Read the scope 5 times, cause we don't want to miss anything. If QA raises an issue regarding the modules which are in scope but you implemented it wrong then it won't be considered Change request and you have to do deliver it in time even work on weekends with no compensation.
PM: Now, go through the scope again today and we will hold a meeting after working hours (unpaid, but can be adjusted in monthly avg) and I will ask random questions.
PM: And anyone who won't be able to answer them will sit through the non-working hours and go through the scope again
Me: *YOU FUCKTARD, incompetence from your side or from business development team to create a simple understandable scope can't force us to sit through non-working hours.*
I already had an opinion about this guy from my previous rant, his improved a little in between but I guess not3
I'm really excited to have a job where I'm not the lone developer. Kinda nervous, too. Now other people will see the crap I write. :P1
I was waiting in the lobby of a recuiting place, hearing all their speeches. All super generic stuff, like "I looked at your resume and I have a bunch of cutting edge opportunities in the pipeline that are going fast, which I think you are a perfect fit for!" Which I don't argue is always invalid, just after hearing the same copy and paste speech, you start to wonder.
I even saw a few stand up and wave their hands around while trying to make a meh position sound like the latest golden egg.
I left with a feeling that recuiters would be a great inspiration for a "Wolf of Wall street" styled movie.1
Every good android power user knows TWRP. But i just fell in love with something MORE. Something POWERFUL. Something AWESOME AS FUCK IF NOT MORE. Red Wolf Recovery Project.
Ohhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh im coming for you.
Expect soon on Nypon and Huashan.5
Next week I'm starting a new job and I kinda wanted to give you guys an insight into my dev career over the last four years. Hopefully it can give some people some insight into how a career can grow unexpectedly.
While I was finishing up my studies (AI) I decided to talk to one of these recruiters and see what kind of jobs I could get as soon as I would be done. The recruiter immediately found this job with a Java consultancy company that also had a training aspect on the side (four hours of training a week).
In this job I learned a lot about many things. I learned about Spring framework, clean code, cloud deployment, build pipelines, Microservices, message brokers and lots more.
As this was a consultancy company, I was placed at different companies. During my time here I worked on two different projects.
The first was a Microservices project about road traffic data. The company was a mess, and I learned a lot about company politics. I think I never saw anything I built really released in my 16 months there.
I also had to drive 200km every day for this job, which just killed me. And after far too long I was finally moved to the second company, which was much closer.
The second company was a fintech startup funded by a bank. Everything was so much better than the traffic company. There was a very structured release schedule, with a pretty okay scrum implementation. Every team had their own development environment on aws which worked amazingly. I had a lot of fun at this job, with many cool colleagues. And all the smart people around me taught me even more about everything related to working in software engineering.
I quit my job at the consultancy company, and with that at the fintech place, because I got an opportunity I couldn't refuse. My brother was working for Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wallstreet, and he said they needed a developer to build a learning platform. So I packed my bags and flew to LA.
The office was just a villa on the beach, next to Jordan's house. The company was quite small and there were actually no real developers. There was a guy who claimed to be the cto of the company, but he actually only knew how to do WordPress and no one had named him cto, which was very interesting.
So I sat down with Jordan and we talked about the platform he wanted to build. I explained how the things he wanted would eventually not be able with WordPress and we needed to really start building software and become a software development company. He agreed and I was set to designing a first iteration of the platform.
Before I knew it I was building the platform part by part, adding features everywhere, setting up analytics, setting up payment flows, monitoring, connecting to Salesforce, setting up build pipelines and setting up the whole aws environment. I had to do everything from frontend to the backest of backends. Luckily I could grow my team a tiny bit after a while, until we were with four. But the other three were still very junior, so I also got the task of training them next to developing.
Still I learned a lot and there's so much more to tell about my time at this company, but let's move forward a bit.
Eventually I had to go back to the Netherlands because of reasons. I still worked a bit for them from over here, but the fun of it was gone without my colleagues around me, so I quit last September.
I noticed I was all burned out, had worked far too much, so I decided to take a few months off and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I even wondered whether I wanted to stay in programming.
Fast forward to last few weeks. I figured out I actually did want to work in software still, but now I would focus on getting the right working circumstances. No more driving 3 hours every day, no more working 12 hours every day. Just work close to home and find a company with the right values.
So I started sending out resumes and I gave one recruiter the chance to arrange some interviews too. I spoke to 7 companies in the span of one week. And they were all very interested. Eventually I narrowed it down to 2 companies and asked them for offers. And the company that actually had my preference offered me significantly more than I asked for, which settled the deal.
So tomorrow I'm officially signing with them, and starting next week I'll be developing in Kotlin, diving into functional programming and running our code in serverless environments. I'm very excited!
Seeing how cool the community's work stories here, and how they know a lot and how they work in organized companies makes me feel like an absolute piece of shit who's lacking a lot of industry skills.
Remotely working for a startup that lacks any sense of organization, CTO is a volunteering web developer who never shows up. A lone wolf I am. I never signed to be a lone wolf. A product that is based on an absolute garbage product that is in turn based on another utter garbage product. It feels so much pain every time I have to deal with that garbage that I end up watching some stupid anime instead. Decent salary for a junior, very friendly people, and a very empowering non-profit cause but still... technical side is just shit and I don't think I can keep with this.
Another long one, I did some side projects while employed in my previous cheap ass company,
First one was making a thesis (just the program) for a college junior of mine, some of you might disagree with this kind of thing, but I was really broke at the time and the pay is good compared to the effort it takes, I got the job from a friend, he's the middleman in this,
The job itself is about algorithm implementation to generate maze and pathfinding using HTML5 animation, I finished the thing in about 2 hours, it only needs minor fixes/adjustment for further requirements by the professor,
Just before I gave it to my friend, he offered me an extra if I want to do another thesis simultaneously, the offer? Around $250 for both, while the pay for the first one itself is 200, I saw the documents for the second one, it's all vague, the guy doesn't even had any clear objective of what he want to do, he literally write "implement x algorithm in a game similar to DOTA" in the introduction
I only did the first request, technically, the easiest $200 I ever made, mentally, asking the payment is a pain in the ass, I never take any offer from him anymore
Second one was way before the event above, it was around 6 months into my first job, and an acquaintance from the company(who had quit a month before) contacted me about a side project, I was requested to make an admin template for an inventory web app, side menus, tables, charts and whatnot,
The pay he offered was initially $50 for duration of 3 months, as long as I provide the initial HTML template and further styling changes included, the rest doesn't matter, I demanded a little bit above $100, then it's agreed
The initial template was better than he expected, the special requirements took a little bit effort to make, in the end, technically it all works out, but I got my second half of the pay about more than 1 year after the supposed deadline of the project, eh, all things considered, it's always nice to get some unexpected income
The third was in the time between the first and second story above, my manager in previous company had an idea of doing a side project, consisted of 4 persons,
- My manager (who actually only sets up meeting with the client, and drives us to the meet)
- the sysadmin (no technical work in the early stage, but should be responsible in hosting and such, and he helps with the business logic)
- the backend (did the most work in the whole timeline of the project)
- me, the front end (did a lot of work doing initial template, but just minor adjustments after that)
In short, everything went apeshit because everyone doesn't actually knows what to do, the manager who puts us into this never took the lead because he doesn't want to be held responsible should the boss finds out that we're doing side projects,
I think this is what Joel Spolsky meant in his blog about the abstraction layer with developers who tries to create an enterprise by themselves, nobody actually knows what happens outside the technical works
Well, the backend quit from the side project, then the manager and sysadmin kinda lost it and start feeding the backend to the wolf(boss), in another perspective the backend felt he's been scammed by the two, so he starts acting up in the workplace, not doing his work properly, bothering the others, insubordination, etc
I slowly separates myself from the two, lucky the manager never asked for a down payment to the client, probably because he's not sure himself that the project would actually went through,1
I technically joined just after this guy left(fired) but the stories are to good to tell!
The guy was clearly off but It wasn't his fault he had to of had aspergers
He would demand! To write with two pens in one hand he said it was faster and the only way he could write neatly... (Nope)
I don't think it was to weird but he would put on music and play death metal stuff full volume, because he couldn't hear anyone the team used to make paper planes and fire them at him when they wanted his attention.
Another thing he was into furry ... Stuff but was super open about it had. Wolf's and shit like that on his desk and always had a wolf shirt.
But he was fired, he wasn't great at his job.
I came in to help sort out the mess it was the government's setup for servers and nurses and doctors computers for the NHS over in england.
He effectively skull fucked the entire system.
He magically (I to do day can not understand how) did forced updates and installed to a newer version of Windows servers the problem being the programs wouldn't work on newer windows at the time.
Most were on XP at the time and they used windows servers back then.
Luckily not nation wide just in my local area but still thousands of computers affected.
The issue became this ... You see they had this program on their computers that let them get patient documents and update etc
He removed code or added code that made it update all the laptops and desktops to a new service pack which they didn't want... Then he upgraded the servers to a new windows version I don't remember the specifics
But the updates and new version of Windows made it so the laptops etc couldn't communicate with the servers.
... The next day he got fired and I was brought in for a few weeks to help sort out the mess.
But apparently he was a super interesting guy but with way to many quirks.
It costs the tax payers a fortune! Literally a few million to sort his mistake out people were working round the clock for two weeks straight.3
So, at my new workplace which completed another anniversary (my first) thought it's a chill place to work at.
Just heard internal bad bitching and stuff, fuck I hate corporate.
And there's this guy who must have watched a few episodes of Naruto and called Nine tails a wolf, a fucking wolf!
Then today during my introduction, the same guy interrupted me with a mock "This guy is a hacker and he can read all your messages"
I was very tempted to say what I used to do at my previous company but energy saving...
Ah.... I already don't like this guy6
Number 6: The lone wolf software engineer is a myth. If I had a quid every time a project was set back because a dev wasn't playing with the team, well maybe I wouldn't retire but I'd be richer!
“Well maybe I can hack the old thing to work for a while longer” I think to myself.
“Oh hell this thing is a major pain in the ass to work on because of the way I hacked it together a year and a half ago. I forgot about that.”
It’s so bad looking at old projects. This morass of spaghetti code has more cringe than a weeaboo wolf whistling at a goth chick with an anime body pillow in the passenger seat of his rusted out 80’s Toyota Corolla that is not an AE-86 or 88 but he has rattled canned it to look like Initial D anyway.
we all have that one dev that cries wolf and says it's an environment issue to by time and find the problem...1
When you want to install devRant on your pretty old phone and find out it's not compatible...
Guess it's time for a new phone then
Had to fix some stuff in the documentation for my internship... boot up Windows in a VM to use Word, virtual machine crashes *twice* for no apparent reason, making me lose some unsaved progress and somehow all the pictures in the document got a read error.
Ah well, should be done with it now (:1
Our first computer ran MSDOS. All I remember about it is playing "Wolf 3D" and this platform game I cannot recall the name of where you were in a land made of sweets. I could never remember the commands to start the games. Me and my Dad played Wolf and could never get past the guards with machine guns. My Mum used the PC for "word processing", I think she carried her work around on 5 inch floppy disks.3
Headphones, Spotify (Deadmau5, Simon Viklund, Power of Trinity, Wolf Parade, Mr. J. Medeiros) or some podcast, coffee, inspiration, "Do not disturb" on phone and let's rock 😎
When you have to do something as a group in class and you don't do or say anything
I just stayed in the back, maybe a bad idea...
They just did a bunch of crap, titled it "fuck bitches get riches" and put my name under it, I drew over my name, but they've been calling me leader since then, after lunch they continued with teacher, sendai, and eventually father
What a bunch of idiots
I just want to get a job developing. Currently doing heavy equipment. I'm still in school but damn I need experience.1
I have a stable day job of IT administration.
But since college years have been enthusuastic about open source. Lately learnd Python and did well with job profile related simple tweaks and hacks. Mostly self taught lone wolf, dont have corporate development experience.
I keep reading and Courses cant see bigger picture, where I am heading? How far i can go with this?
Any suggestion, motivation, criticism, someone who have been in similiar situation. Most welcome3
What is your favourite track that helps you get in the zone for marathon coding sessions? Mine is Megadeth's She-Wolf on repeat.5