I don't understand why so many people fight this war of tabs vs spaces. My colleagues elegantly solved the problem just not using indentation at all

Pun of the day

Boss: I heard your colleagues hate dealing with code you wrote. Why?
Me: No comment

I imagine two dev colleagues sitting next to each other, on their phone, each feeling very secure in the anonymity of devrant.

My boss hate TOR, and so does many of my colleagues

Today, I am testing their faith in me

Yesterday. It took me way to long to figure out why my mouse wasn't working....
Thanks, dear colleagues!

😐

My colleagues treat me like a god.
.
.
.
Nobody plays any attention to my existence until they want something 😏

Total garbage

There's nothing like playing Cards Against Downtime with colleagues while lunchtime :D

How I protect my source code from prying eyes of colleagues.

So... Stress balls aren't intended to be thrown at your colleagues. Interesting.

Told my colleagues about devRant and they laughed it off saying that it's just 'another app'.
Fuck them.

Once I failed captcha 4 times in a row. My colleagues told me: "Update your firmware, RoboCop"

How do I keep improving as a dev?

By ignoring what my colleagues say. Idiots

When your colleagues have no tests for their code and tell you not to touch it, because it WORKS!

As soon as someone watches me code over my shoulder my IQ drops by 50%

When you've been the new guy for a while and your colleagues ask you for help for the first time

I'm stuck between 2 options:
1) Rant about my problems
2) Share DevRant with colleagues

Am I the only one with this problem? 😂

Two of my colleagues have same wireless kit type (kb and mouse). I swapped only their keyboards.

Since one of my colleagues had a difficult time saying/spelling the word SpamAssassin, it's now officially (in our office):

Spam Ass Ass In

😏

Request: Stackoverflow-like theme for devRant so I can chill and read rants on work while the rest of my colleagues believe I'm working/ investigating a bug

:)

Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?

I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.

Pair program with myself. It's lonely but 3x more effective than pairing with my idiot colleagues

colleagues: Hey, have you finished that app
Me:

**Colleagues Speaking about some political issues**
Me: Why what happened in that council?
Colleagues: Are you living under a rock or what?
Me: No, I have been living inside a shell. Why?
Colleagues: Stared for 5 seconds and continued with their topic.

I so badly want some programmers in my office ☹️

Being a student this was how my colleagues felt about my code and SQL procedures. They didn’t even let me create a change ticket to present to CAB 😂

Ladies and gentlemen, my computer science colleagues:

Colleagues asking me to write clean code be like...

Wanted to introduce my colleagues to devrant. But how can I ? My rants are about them :p

When you try to explain the new coding convetions to your colleagues

One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..

Usually I do love my colleagues, but lately....

FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT YOUR WALKING HUMAN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE SHITOVERFLOW CHATGEPETTO INSTANCE! READ YOUR FUCKING LOGS, DO A FUCKING INFORMATION LOOKUP, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.

OH YOU HAVE A QUESTION YOU SAY? PLEASE FOR FUCK SAKE ELABORATE WITH SOMETHING MORE THEN 'Please help me with the pipeline"' WHILE YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM IS A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF GIT, LINUX OPERATING SYSTEMS AND AUTOMATION.

OH YOUR BRANCH IS, WHAT, 3 MONTHS BEHIND MASTER? NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING REBASE? WHATS THAT YOU SAY??? YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO SKIP A COMMIT??? ITS YOUR FUCKING CODEBASE! READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !!!

WHATS THAT? YOU WORK IN VSCODE AND YOU DO T K OW HOW? AGAIN READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !

Self.end(rant)

Probably a little OCD on my part, but when colleagues write SQL keywords in lowercase

I was so into my code that all my colleagues felt the earthquake tremors, but I didn't.

Anytime it is more than 24°C outside, my colleagues insist on working with all door and windows open. I feel like trying to code in a wind tunnel. Picture lamps hanging from the ceiling softly moving. Also we are 50 metres from the train station, so this means we get to enjoy all the announcements.

After disappearing since March, it makes me happy to see you all still hate your bosses and colleagues just as much as before.

Switch colleagues wireless mouses. The more colleagues, the funnier it gets :)

I have a variable called 'stuff'. It's a test to see if my colleagues really read my pull requests.

Me: *recommends devRant to colleagues*
Me: *now too scared to posts rants about shit at work*

When you are from Bulgaria and work in the Netherlands. Something your colleagues should know xD

2 colleagues left the company and I got a pay raise, so that I stay. Getting more money without the fuss of changing jobs is awesome.

the moment your colleagues are funnier than you :(

My colleges and I were talking about salaries in our company. Our team as about 10 members. Many of us are receiving interesting offers from other companies, and we concluded that we were being underpaid.

In this life, unless you ask to, no boss will raise you, even if you put some extra effort and work the shit out of you, to bring that profit, new client or something else good to the company.

Nobody was interested in talking directly about that to our manager. Just a side note, our manager is an awesome senior developer and a very nice guy. It shouldn't be too hard to talk about this issue to him.

I waited until our annual performance and salary revision to talk about it. Everyday our team talks about this. Everyone is going crazy.

So I went straight to the point, during this meeting with our manager, and said that we needed to be raised. All of us, because other companies were offering much better salaries.

He said to me: "Take this paper, write down what value should every one receive, including myself."

I took this opportunity and put down the values, raising about 600€ for each one.
I looked at it and said: "This looks ok. I'll will ask your colleagues to do the same task. Wait here."

So he went and requested everyone to do the same thing, without explaining why.

Guess what happened? Some mother fuckers actually cut on others salaries, instead of raising everyone equally.

Anyway the manager said he would show that to the CEO, and maybe something would happen.

We were all raised in the values I said so, because the CEO want us to be among the companies that pay the most.

After the backstabbing, no one ever talked about that. Except for 3 good fellow developers, that thanked me for my initiative.

Telekinesis, so I could throw stuff at my colleagues when they're being stupid.

What if Donald Trump (or Drumpf :|) was a developer

"I will make PHP GREAT again"

"I will KICK OUT all NODEJS developers from the office premises"

"I will install a FIREWALL in my system so my colleagues cant access anything "
But sir this is not how it works, besides its very impractical
"And my colleagues will PAY for it"

😉😁😁

Me: *tries to debug JS code for 5434910946th time on colleagues computer*

Me soon after realising: clears cache

Both of us: look down in sorrow

One of my colleagues shared this today. Spot on.

me and my colleagues fix bugs while watching porn

Just changed my username to avoid being recognised by clients/colleagues...

If only clients and colleagues would be as cordial as spammers.

Showed devRant to my colleagues...

Least productive day at the office in weeks

I've been in far too many "we're downsizing, so you won't be seeing some of your colleagues anymore" meetings. It's depressing.

Biggest distraction while coding?

When a colleague (or even worst, your boss) decide to staring at your monitor...

WTF
I don't know you guys, but I suddenly become disable and not capable of using a keyboard.
Leave me f*king alone!!!

Found this on Twitter mirroring reddit

I hate the fact that I hate to develop a small gui to let my colleagues use the server through it

I keep a Rubik's cube with *patterns* on it, my colleagues think I'm some sorta genius 😂

Any editor I use, I apply a dark theme.
Most of colleagues find it irritating, but for me is more appealing to code with a dark background.

Colleagues who don't know the difference between Asynchronous and Parallel.

I wish my colleagues try to google first and then ask me.

Those feels when you try fix your colleagues code

That moment when you shout "i'm a fucking genius" too loud when you find out the solution after 2 hours of brain fuck, and your colleagues think you're crazy

Colleagues forgot me at the scrum meeting.

Fuck yeah.

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

You guys probably use some kind of program to talk and chat with friends and colleagues. So, tell me - which of the numerous programs available do you use?

When your colleagues knows who you are on DevRant, but you don't know who they are.

Your girlfriend laughing with colleagues in the other room.

Fuck this shit.
I got tested positive this morning.
I might have accidentally infected my parents and my colleagues.

Ranting about the fear that some of your colleagues may discover the existence of devRant and can discover your rant about him/her.

So 400 of my colleagues were laid off today. Tough week for me guys. sigh.

Asking my colleagues to review my code is like asking "can you roast my code?".

I just discovered the javascript Proxy Api or how to prank your colleagues.

> devRant offers to let me share my rants on Facebook.
> Majority of my colleagues and boss in my friends list.

Nope.

Today was a rainy day...
So some of my colleagues got moody, the others got motivated...
And me , well i got fucking wet because i forgot that damn umbrella again.

I like to show my colleagues that I'm friendly and approachable. Especially on Monday.

When you +1 one of your colleagues rants on devRant and realise the whole senior Dev team is on here. Hmmmm.

All of my colleagues think that IT dept. know all the internet traffics.

Plot twist: we just have simple router without any log

Going for my first code review. My colleagues and I will read through my main class, which is 832 lines long and a two-three comments.

My colleague printed a Helldivers helmet for Sir Jav'alot!

Currently work in HR and among others I used to recruit cleaning ladies. They often don't care to much for rules so sometimes one them just doesn't show up, doesn't answer phone calls or mails. Couple of years ago, one of our own colleagues did the same.. It is known among colleagues as 'pulling a Copperfield' as they just disappear. :)

So just caught two colleagues playing quake arena. Once the boss has a day off...
Of course i will join them now! Happy friday everyone 😄

Colleagues saying 'depreciated' when they mean 'deprecated'.

The moment when you made branch restrictions, but your colleagues just remove them so they are able to merge their branch into master.

Conspiracy Theory:

Coding standards were invented so that your colleagues can steal your code without any effort.

Don't Repeat Yourself. Don't Repeat Yourself.

3 words you need to keep repeating over and over to colleagues that, well, keep repeating themselves in code.

I've just had an embarrassing moment: discussing in chat with some colleagues I wrote Openshit instead of Openshift.

when you hang out with your ex-colleagues for a "normal" supper... and it turns suddenly in "the last"

It really grinds my gears if colleagues from non-technical departments attempt to use technical terms but use them wrong. It might be gatekeeping but please, use a technical term if you are confident you are using it correctly. Otherwise use layman's words. Using technical terms incorrectly sends our brains down the wrong road and we have to make a mental U turn. And you sound like a masterhacker from a TV show or movie.

my colleagues are the best

When I was a beginner ppl told me
"French companies hire Indian developers because they're cheaper"

Today ? Oh I'm working for an Indian company.

Peer pressure is using VSCode for work because all of your colleagues uses it.

Me, the only iOS dev at work one day, and colleague (who we'll call AndroidBoy), the only Android dev at work that same day (he's been working with us for less than two months). There was a change in one of the jsons we received from the server: instead of receiving a list, we now received a dictionary with strings as keys and lists as values. My iOS colleague had already made this modification on our parse function the day before.

AndroidBoy: "Hey what happened with the json?"
Me: "Oh, well instead of parsing a list, we'll parse a dictionary and get the list from each key. You basically have to do the same thing, only this time the lists are organized into categories."
AndroidBoy: "Oh, ok. But I don't know how to parse a dictionary while using Retrofit." (Context: Retrofit is a framework for request handling - correct me if I am mistaken, that's just what I've been told)
Me: "Sucks, dude, can't help ya. I've never worked with that and don't have that much exp. with Android."

I go out for a cigarette break. When I return, AndroidBoy is nowhere to be seen and suddenly I can't seem to get that data in my app. AndroidBoy comes in from the room where the backend colleagues work.

AndroidBoy: "Solved it!"
Me: "Solved what?"
AndroidBoy: "I told them to change back to a list and just put the key inside the objects of the list."

... he used the precious time of the backend colleagues to change the thing back hust because he was too lazy to search how to parse a dictionary. I was so amazed by his answer, that I didn't know whether to laugh, scream at him or punch him in the face. Not to mention the fact that now I had to revert just so he could avoid that extra work.

First time committing a ticket is scary… I can’t stop thinking how my colleagues and tech lead gonna look at my code and question me if I lied on my resume…

While merging colleagues code...
Because Android studio log cat sucks donkey balls 😂

The worst dev I’ve interviewed is the only dev I’ve interviewed.. Which is probably one of the best colleagues I’ve ever worked with, and a really good dev.

Colleagues improvising themselves "Evangelists of everything" but continuously asking me how to do things.

Now you can go ask there.

Am I the only one that lives in fear of friends/colleagues finding out I'm on devrant?

I've already deleted a few rants in which I described something that happened between me and someone else in fear that they might find out.

- not seeing and hugging my colleagues (I miss hugs SO much, with everyone)
- everything being online, which makes it less serious and more like a game I can just turn off. It makes it very hard to keep myself motivated

I told my colleagues that I use excel to budget and they've been roasting me about it ever since.

That moment when you bring up concerns with an idea and your colleagues say you need to think positive. :P

That moment when that peculiar fork of a library that one of your colleagues required in a project disappears on github.

Actual image of me finding out my colleagues know about rubber duck debugging while I'm looking for birthday presents

Good colleagues. So grateful I have a fantastic set of peers to work with.

No one ever tells you that once you start doing facial recognition that your computer gets filled with tons images of your colleagues.

Looks a bit suspicious.

My manager asked me to have colleagues outside engineering dept test an interface for a personal project in order to get the best feedback on UI/X

I prefer coding after my friends, family, colleagues, and flirts have all gone to sleep.

Me: * About to send e-mail *

Me: Does this look good? Shall I send it?

Colleagues: Yup, looks good

Me: * Sends e-mail *

Colleagues: Perhaps say something about X and mention Y at the end

-.-

After noticing 4 operations in a single line, I comment a pr stating the line is not simple to read as there are many operations which can be, especially in the eyes of a junior, hard to read.
I proceed to suggest a better solution.

Colleague: “what??? How is this not readable??? Is it [op1], [op2], [op3] or [op4]? 🤷‍♂️”

I kindly explain this person that it’s not about the single operations, but the fact they are all on a line. Inside an object assignment.

Colleague: “you should learn stuff! (4 links to websites giving that snippet of code”

Ah yes, the oldie: “but other people are jumping off a cliff, why don’t WE do it???”

My colleague sends me an email saying “here’s a check not being performed which causes a bug can you fix this and push to production”
With a screenshot of the code and place it needs to happen underlined

ARE YOU kIDDING ME OH MY GOD

He doesn’t have time to write 10 characters but he has the time to make this work of art of an email and send it to me

I'd post a pic of my setup but in reality my workspace is any space I can perch my laptop and be out the way of customers and colleagues.

I spammed a colleagues email to test my exception handling method, I didn't feel like using just my email.

My email to him: "muh bad"

My dilemma: I want to tell everyone of my dev friends and colleagues of devRant, but then they'll see me ranting about them...

I save about 2h commute (so 4h/day) which is nice.

Also not constantly getting interrupted by colleagues

ghost colleagues. they don't answer texts, you don't even know if they're alive

The colleagues who do testing in my department collectively call their assert function 'ass()'

Listening to colleagues discuss "executing children" under certain conditions...

Dear colleagues. Please use your brain. Don't ask me the same things over and over again. It's really annoying... 😡

What I Like about Home Office?
My squeaky clean toilet. No colleagues who Block the toilet, no colleagues who seem to forget their bathroom cleanliness at home

Oh, how my colleagues think I have psychic powers and am able to discern what is the problem they face just by being notified of its existence.

my workplace had the idea to create a shared calendar with the birthdays of all colleagues.

Now around 10 months later, this calendar is filled with the birthdays of ex-colleagues... Who thought that was a good idea lol

Sick of my colleagues letting the door slam right behind my head when they leave.

I really don’t like when colleagues start refactoring core components in a software application just because they feel like it.

Consult the team first and get everyone’s opinion, cheers.

Dungeon's and dragons! I'm playing it with my colleagues :D

Just started getting LinkedIn messages from colleagues. I've just completed 6 years in the org that I joined as a fresher.. WHAT HAVE I DONE!??!

Me, perfectly relaxed after 2 hours of conference call (the voices are telling me to feed my colleagues to the ravens and they're winning)

Open code html code

See flexbox with float:left 🤔
I need to talk with colleagues I think :/

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

We use a third party paid company to produce a service and give ongoing support for it, which all our revenue streams depend upon. They are shit and their service is shit. Here's how my conversation about testing went today.

Me: 'hey X wrote an integration test project for the service. It shows the service is broken 50% of the time. We should give their team access to it and have them run it as part of CI'

Colleague: 'They are too shit to setup CI'

PM: 'we are stuck with them so there is no point. It is what it is'

Boss: just ignores me. Not even a reply.

Some days later

Head of QA: 'Hey Dev and QA are broken'

Me: 'because their service is broken. I made so and so suggestion before but it was rejected. We will just have to accept Dev and QA are broken 50% of the time'

Head of QA: 'no we cant'

Me: 'ok so we should setup the tests to run by giving them access'

Head of QA: 'No we shouldn't. The tests can only be used by us and if they break it tells us so we can act on it, or choose not to'

Me: 'We would not want to act immediately on all our revenue streams breaking? Yes we can reverse engineer their client and fix errors as they occur, or we could just have them run the tests and a team our company pays for can stop adding breaking changes to their own API every other day. Right now it has been broken for 2 weeks.'

Head of QA: 'in an ideal world we would have an internal team so you're wrong'

Me: :)

I really don't understand how they can come to such a conclusion. Am I missing something or am I surrounded by total fucking idiots?

def sayHiToColleagues():
for colleague in colleagues:
if colleague.roomNr > me.roomNr:
break
sayHi(colleague.name)

Joke with colleagues:

PM: I promised client we will give full demo tomorrow afternoon. Please prepare well.

Me: Definitely yes, I will prepare well my resign letter.

Being a total bitch to my colleagues for doing things different than I would've done

Colleagues of mine, even though they show signs of versioning their api by having "v1" in the URL, keep committing breaking changes to that version. 😂

Colleagues at my part-time job:

"You study programming right? Amazing we've got this great app idea, we'd love to see a finished product in 2 months"

Me: "..."

You sitting at your colleagues Windows developer box, tossing some random window around while waiting for a build... and suddenly all 20+ windows get minimized.

Most useless feature ever!

I'm a big fan of super-modular and flexible code, but my colleagues are huge fans of Ctrl-C / Ctrl-V.

If somebody creates rules around you, they're not your friend.

e.g.: you want to ask your colleague a question but they block you off and say that they have a set of bureaucratic rules you have to live by before you may even attempt to ask them a question.

Sigh.

I just got a job this month and one of my colleagues talks by himself 😔 making jokes and criticizing his code out loud. It is very disturbing ...

Fuck Instagram, joined to find family pic and keep in touch with colleagues , instead I have turns of pornstars following and and liking my pics , what's the fuck .

Really want to go back to the office, have coffee breaks with my colleagues, go on lunches and complain about having to come to the office everyday!!!!!!!!!!!

When your colleagues try to convince you that how php is 'THE SHIT' :|

Good development work
Non Bullshitting colleagues
Zero Politics
Good Coffee/Food :D

An annoying type of colleague: the kind that refuses to cooperate and insists on doing shit their own way because they have done it that way for years and they become little crybabies whenever someone new tries to work with them.

Somehow managers accept their baby-like behavior because they've been producing output. However, like my Business Processes professor said: "Don't focus on output".

It's just annoying trying to work with these guys.

Can I submit a pull request to change some annoying bugs in my colleagues?

Fuck. Mobbing really does fix everything wrong with development*

*Unless your colleagues are complete cunts

Colleagues in IT Student Assistant's desk: [Watching Kimi No Nawa]

Meanwhile me : [Creating 2 small kubnernetes Raspberry Pi Clusters on my free time]

Talk about dedication.

when CodeClimate reports it 2.0 GPA but your colleagues says it's good code-wise and styling wise...

turns out I didn't have the YAML override

Dear Colleagues. Stop saying iOS (i-oohs). It's (i-oh-es). You don't call it fucking windows ooohs. You sound like fucking idiots to our clients

!rant
My first real software job is my current one. Nothing to rant about: great colleagues, lot of challenging work. Plus I get to work remotely.

Starts getting crowded at my desk. But I love those little colleagues.

One of my colleagues just tried to deny a buggy code change was his on the grounds that the new code contains logging and he never uses logging.

Feeling so depressed. Colleagues are leaving one by one

When you find colleagues still using the Java Calendar class despite having moved to Java 8 and the java.time package long ago.

No, "committing to repository" is not the correct interpretation of "the commit messages should tell what it does, not did"

--
Always be precise, watch your wordings.

The ability to decipher the shit code that my colleagues produce.

We've all started to have our cameras turned on on online meetings, namely dailies, and I love it. Makes it so much nicer to interact with colleagues.

Anyone here play an instrument (yes, singing counts you dim wits)? Almost 85% of my colleagues do, and i was wondering if it holds true here...

When the colleague that you're arguing with on a slack channel is an administrator. He has the power to delete anything you post that makes him look like a dick.

I will not submit to this reign of tyranny!

One of my colleagues who thinks he knows all about "big data": "I try to put everything in hadoop, that is my philosophy".

We don't even have a hadoop cluster.

When your colleague constantly tells you to join DevRant but all you wanna do is Rant about them

after six months debugging unstructured, freeform python code from my colleagues, i found java strictness paradisal

I feel like an imposter sometimes but then I look at some of my colleagues. I'm not really sure whether that's a good thing or not.

During the first week of my internship colleagues were bringing me coffee. Then they started nagging and taught me how to do it for them too.

Have to follow same coding conventions of colleagues just to avoid merge conflicts.

Everyone around me is running like crazy to deliver a project on time (the day after tomorrow) and I am sitting quietly trying to reply an e-mail of my project manager in french...

Thou shalt not talk while I'm pooping.

-- New Commandment after the floor Karen confronted one of our colleagues about her talking on the phone while washing her hands.

Shitty co-workers. From bad management to lazy colleagues I've had it all, and all of it pushes me to be better than they are.

Running Wireshark on your network to find out your colleagues are the whole day on Facebook...

With a nice cup of coffee, you start earlier than your colleagues, you do the hard part that everyone is afraid to touch.
But there is always someone who starts late his day and leave usually the first with a stupid smile.

I'm not the manager, so it's not my responsibility to control this person, I admit seeing this affects my motivation but I don't need to have his load on my plate.

I know that this case is quite common but I needed to rant about it.

#do_your_work_bob

If at first you don't succeed, blame the framework; then the language; then your colleagues and eventually fall into a deep depression when you realise that the only person you truly have to blame is yourself.

Then blame the framework again, and suggest an immediate move to the latest ill-advised JavaScript contraption in spite of horrified gazes from your disillusioned colleagues.

Omg I loath path separators. Been working on windows most of the time (bought a surface pro for some reason) and my colleagues work on Linux. We just do standard web dev stuff nothing special but. I started having issues with my windows build getting weird function.prototype.bind.apply is not a constructor issue. Which is valid because apparently my colleagues started using the fat arrow function everywhere and on places where not needed.......

But on Linux they never had an issue because babel fixed it to the old function during the transpileee. So why the fuck am I getting this problem. After some tedious debugging and asking my colleagues. (colleagues only responded with just use Linux) I found the the issue to lie in the webpack loader for the Javascript in which the path regex used a single / :(. So I changed that to a group to be / or // and bam the whole bloody project works on windows now.

....... My colleagues still don't understand that they over use the fat arrow in the wrong places unfortunately

How can I stop colleagues from interrupting me every 5 minutes while I'm working/debugging in a polite way? I'm really annoyed, and I'm starting to become rude, but even that does not stop them.

!rant

we talk sometimes...
my colleagues tend to laugh when I've been talking for a longer period of time, but it truly does help!

I bond socially by telling programmer jokes.

Day 10: I start being weirdly glazed at when I come across colleagues :D and people cross the street when they see me

#success

Colleague (Lead Engineer): Hey, check my code. I'm trying to group a list of Request objects by their id. Something is not working here

Me: * saw his code, had a lot of shitty loops, called all for a quick meet, changed his shitty mess to one liner

list.stream()
.collect(Collectors.groupingBy(Request::getId))

Walked out like a boss*
😎

When your colleagues are doing legacy code refactoring but you know that's not gonna end well 😂

As a moron, I write all tasks in this format even though it makes no sense to do so, so I won't have to put up with business colleagues moaning.

I have some ex colleagues and friends now devs in Facebook, Amazon, or other major companies. No life, monothematic arguments, no hobbies, no time. I surely prefer my simpler life.

My colleagues: "We should fail for scalastyle issues! Warnings will get ignored! Nobody fixes them! We should enforce a clean code style!"

Also my colleagues: Create PR with loads of `// scalastyle:off` flags comments.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Literally whatever colleagues/people in the field prefer.

Otherwise, it's functionality followed by minimalism and followed by understandability.

Today I made two pleasant discovers:
* Spyder, an easy and efficient IDE for newby in Python;
* openpyxl, great library to export crunched data in excel for my colleagues.

With crunch time closing in, everybody but me seems to call in sick.
Nice move, colleagues, nice move.

Ever had a colleague who nosed into what solution you brought to a problem and then stole your credit, telling the CEO how they found the solution and not you?

Yeah.

Will I ever get used to not seeing my colleagues everyday anymore after leaving a job? 😩

Hi there.. Stuck since days in the google auth error:disallowed_useragent with xamarin, my colleagues ask me to ask to u :p (the same as the mac with windows features photo)

Colleague from technical department asks if I can make Turkish language available in our software.
I say "Sure, but I need Turkish translations first."
Colleague then asks me if I can implement Russian version as English instead, but using Russian.
"Uhm, what?! I mean ... what?!"

Being alone for so much of the time.

Kinda miss being around my colleagues. Luckily I have a cat that keeps me accompanied during the day!

How do you tell your coworkers/colleagues/managers that you need to take a mental health day?

New boss is trying to show his bossiness to some of my colleagues. But they don't seem to think he is bossy enough...

When your senior says he may as well stops working as I'm always refactoring his code...

Same sentence says I copy what you've done in other places so I don't see why it isn't good enough. By copy he leaves redundant code in there too.

Am I a being a douche is he just being over the top?

- He writes code and expects it to live for a long time.
- I write code and will go home and refactor my own code.

I'm founding a company on machine learning with two others where one of them is an economics guy who decided his work was boring so he did his PhD in Engineering.

He started about three months ago to also invest some time in computer and dev stuff.

As a free software and Linux guy I wanted to get clear about stuff like open sour...

Economics guy: "We should definitely make all of that stuff open source to give back to the community."

Me: I love you. I truely do.

The same thing happened with security, svn etc.

I mean... Well... So unexpected! o.O

I currently work in data analysis.

Yesterday one of the colleagues working in a different department came to me asking if I could fix his malfunctioning headphone set :/

ESSO Password Manager.
Prepare to cry after ESSO inputs your password in the username-field instead of the password-field the third time while your colleagues are watching...

That moment when you've been to a colleagues desk, and just at the moment you sit down at yours, your computer goes to sleep...

!rant.
I miss my colleagues badly.

My boss asked us all to do a 360 review of
Our colleagues. I HATE ratting on my colleagues, even though someone of them are rubbish programmers. He’s the boss, if he doesn’t know how to tell who the bad eggs are, why should I help? It’s not like it get paired for for helping him or get any shares if the company does well.

I won’t rat of my colleagues.

I highly recommend my colleagues to read this book quickly, quickly!

That moment when your colleagues' "clean code" ends up confusing you terribly.

Is there no way to stop my colleagues from looking at my screen? I'm dying here!

Changed db host from sles 11 to sles 12...
Users had to set a new pw...
And there is this guy, who is longer in this business,than i am on this world...
Yet i had to show him passwd...
And now he gets back to me with the following:
C: "since the pw reset my password doesn't work"
> Cutout from the error message, which clearly says ssh algorithm negotiation failed
Me: "just to be sure, are your pws set correctly? And what client do you have, where does this message come from?"
C:"i checked the pws, they match. I still get the error."
...
Me: "... And whats your client? Does putty/cygwin still work"
C:"yeah they still work"
...
Me:"and what throws this error?"
C:"uhm Ant"
*Fyi: some version as old as the brown coals used to do some shady db2 and java stuff"
*Me doin a quick googleing for the error and Ant"
Me:"yup... It appears, that the java lib has some problems with the ssh algorithms.. here are some stackoverflow links, which described your problem." *at least make me try, please*
*Waiting for his response, which will surely result in pure enlightenment and bliss for me...*
Seriously... How dares java to fuck this up...

My colleague is right now cracking her knuckles. I don't mind her doing that once in a while but she's doing it every two fucking minutes.

Soo fucking irritating.

Something with tabs vs spaces...
I forgot who won the argument tho, my colleagues don't even indent shit, lol

*Earlier today, asked a colleague to add exception handling for some (around 20) source files.*

*Just now, he walked over to my desk and this is the conversation that took place between us*

He: Hey, I've handled exceptions in those source files. But now the build is failing.

Me: Let me check. *pulled up the code and saw compilation errors 😠*

Me: Hmm, there are compilation issues. Did you try running those in your local machine?

Him: No, should I?

Me: *still trying to figure out why on earth the code is not compiling* Ah, you should have. That would have saved us some time.

Him: Oh, I see. Adding exception handling was an easy task, so I didn't bother to run it.

Me: *After seeing curly braces being missed out or added all over the files, I lost my fucking mind😡😠*

Me: Hey, don't worry. I'll take it from here 😊. *IN MY MIND: Thanks for being an ass hole and doubling my work on a day before a long weekend 😠😡🤬*