[r/ProgrammerHumor] LOL! :D

When back-end engineers get excited about something.

Well... Erm...

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

Looks like Apple is the new Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple...

I remember when every release of Windows was a catastrophic mess and you had to wait until at least SP2 to get the OS to work in a stable way. And Internet Exploder was *the* browser that broke everything, every time. And there was the whole embrace/extend thing, where they tried to impose their vision of web standards and compatibility, and *everything* you used *had* to come from Microsoft...

And now, it's Apple who fuck up every single OS release, on mobile and desktop, and whose browsers openly shit on web standards (ever try developing anything for Mobile Safari?). Apple's stuff that only works with Apple stuff (down to things like headphone jacks - OOPS, forgot, they dropped those now).

Microsoft is making interesting, beautiful hardware (Surface machines) while Apple is pushing un-innovative, overpriced garbage year in year out. And they're open-sourcing more and more, while Apple walls itself further and further behind its walled "garden". Bleh.

Be interesting to see in 10 years what will have shifted, because it'll change again by then.

I hate it when I click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the email (which is in fact hidden by making the text color slightly darker/lighter than the background of the email ) and it takes me to some freaking website where I have to like summon a demon and sacrifice a virgin to unsubscribe from their emailing list and they send me another email saying I have successfully unsubscribe and if I want to resubscribe again and with you guest it another unsubscribe button at the end of that email .....

Another programming job: the first 5,183 decimals of pi, in wood sticks. Took me three months to do. Now I start e

Bedtime paradox 😁

This is why I leave bugs name as features 😉😉😉😝

Job interview

What is machine learning?

When you have to learn a new language so you can learn a framework so you can learn to integrate with an app you about to learn how to make.

The dev secret...

How does a front-end developer get away with murder?

$('body').hide();

//I'll see myself out

Finally the solution!

This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.

I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.

I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.

The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.

They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.

Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.

I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.

Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.

Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.

I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.

Of course you can buy a theme that, if it would have been special made for you cost 800$ or more, but it wasn't. It just looks like it from the outside. If you want customization you are at the mercy of the option it provides. I can't even tell how many times i spent whole evenings explaining how their shiny template works. Just to do some crazy shit with JavaScript like rearranging domelements because it didn't work as expected.

I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.

And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?

Me too vending machine , me too..

Credit: Twitter.

I hate this image - things in 2 states weird me out

I didn't know that hating Windows is new sport. Everyone seems to practice it here... 😒

Might sound weird but I pretend somebody is watching me through my own eyes. Somebody I want to impress, or make jealous, of my productivity and skill. Elaborate, but it works.

Unit testing be like "all tests passed"

Every single day.

Reality

My progress in CSS

Oh yes I know how it feels.

So true 😂😂

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Not a rant, but this is so true!!

Credit : 9gag

Laughed so hard, that I had to defenitely post it on devRant.