AboutProgrammer by passion.
Skillsreturn ['js', 'css', 'web', 'sql', 'c#', 'c++', 'objC', 'html5', 'php', 'mssql', 'mysql', 'bash', 'basic', 'batchscript', 'java', 'perl', 'python'].join(', ');
Joined devRant on 10/26/2016
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>Download last version of software, a couple hundred megabytes
>Software immediately asks to download a couple hundred megabytes of updates
>mfw pic related5
Today I learned:
`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”
`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”
Had no idea.36
New hire commit:
Message: Visual update
Gitlab: Showing 27 changed files with 21628 additions and 12296 deletions
Do I kill him before or after teaching him?19
Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."
Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."
Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."
Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"
....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.
I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(19
We have a bruteforce?
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /a
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /ac
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acc
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acco
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accou
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accoun
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /account
[30.01.19 11:26]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/lo
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/log
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/logi
No only a skiddie who try very hard9
I cannot even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions I just went through. I'm on the train, the prompt says next station !my_station. By then the sign says my_station. So I rush off the train. I feel the lightness of a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders... And realise I'm missing my laptop bag, the heavy weight that should be on my shoulders. So I rush to the station office and describe everything about my bag and what's in it and the seat I was in. The guy can't get through to the conductor but the train will be back at this station in 30 minutes. I head home quickly because it's nearby and my fiance offers me a lift back to the station on her car. Suddenly we're running late. She's running red lights. I'm not going to make it. It's 2 minutes past arrival time. But the train is 3 minutes late! I'm running along the platform looking into the carriages for my bag but unable to see much, panicking. The platform is empty. The train. Is going to leave. Except for one lonely figure walking down with a bag in their hands. The conductor gives me my rucksack, tells me it's really heavy and heads back to his duties. I thank him and head back to the station office to thank the man on duty also. Fuck me that was scary.3
Long ago (around a year and half), I discovered Medium and even created an account.
Found it too complex and delete the account in an instant.
I used to often read Medium post after being redirected from various websites I use.
These days, I am on a learning spree and decided to create the account again. Well, they are minimal now (not just decluttered, but minimal).
I read an article, followed by another and then the third.
Then after a short break, I was back to my reading. I open the fourth article and bam! Medium asks me to upgrade to premium version for $5/Month. Just three fucking articles per month on free account.
As stupid as it can get.
Out of curiosity, I deleted the cookies and refreshed the page. Voilà!!!
It works. Now I have three more free articles for the same month.
Well, is this a known issue by them or just a poor way of handling how they track the article count?
I don't know but I am about to delete my account there again because the content is extremely mainstream and American mindset is pushed there a lot (no offense to my American friends but this is what I feel about most of the internet these days).35
Gets run over by truck. Laptop in peaces. Insurrance needed to be sure it was actually broken. Sends laptop to a repair center. They tell me its broken. Repair center asks if I want my laptop back. I said: yes pls. Get laptop back. RAM stolen SSD stolen. Reee! They forgot to send it back..... I mean, you did not have to take out those parts to see it i broken.12
Had to setup 7 HP laptops today for a small hackathon.
Install windows 10...
just shout in the room and hope all cortanas hear the same answer.
done after a couple minutes.
Windows 10 rules.
This story could be over but no, have a plot twist.
All pcs connected to our wifi network as we tried to install Chrome ( cause edge sucks), realized it takes hours to install.
someone drawing internet over here?!
our network wasn't that bad usually.
opens windows store on one laptop by accident.
42 downloads running.
Yep on all of them.
what were they downloading?
candy crush... bubble witch saga...mcaffee.
spent about 4h uninstalling bloatware and teaching windows not to reinstall it over and over again...
and I didn't even mention the "tell us why you think you don't need McAfee premium protection pl0x" and "you really sure you don't want to try edge as default browser? is really fast and stuff" dialog fields...11
me: *submits a PR on our old system*
My teamlead: please mind the code style, there was no need to add the extra whitespace line under that loop.
Me: 🤔 there are style conventions in this project??
NB: this is really old code with tons of long lines, weird spacing and whitespace in random places and functions that span hundreds of lines.
I seriously did not notice a consistent style here.
I wanna go back to working on the new system ☹️9
Agile in practice.
I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.
Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Every fucking day in my company, we get an email from the HR titled "Good Morning, have a nice <DAY_OF_WEEK>", and the message contains a low quality shitty picture grabbed from a random Google search containing a equally shitty quote.
Today's quote read "Happy Friday! Friday is a day to finish your goals of the week!"
lmao like am I suppose to wait till Friday to finish my 'goals of the week'?
I'm so sick of these dumb fucks someone send help 🙄13
I was confirmed to start on the 28th on Monday through an email the one below:
Yes, you can just bring your original paperwork on your first day. January 28th is okay with us. Please come to the Corporate Office at 8:00 on the 28th.
I was going to resign yesterday, Tuesday, was all pumped.
1) post to devrant, check,
2) resignation letter written and cc'd and hard printed, check,
3) courage to talk to boss check.
Ten minutes on Tuesday before scheduled time to have meeting with boss then I get this email:
I am having trouble getting a reference. Is there anyone at your current employment that I can now contact since you gave your two weeks?
WHAT!!!!! Is this normal? wtf? what if the reference check turns out disastrous and I have already turned in my resignation?
Why wasn't this brought up before I resigned?
Ofc, I did not hand in my resignation, but they obviously didn't know that.
It took all day and the recruiter to get involved to get the reference checks done.
But now I'm apathetic, the wind is gone from my sails, and I am not excited anymore about this new job opportunity. They really have ruined my faith in their processes.
If I am not excited to start a new job, that is a really bad sign. What happens if I turn in my resignation then they decide they forgot some other check that I don't pass?
I am writing letter now to decline the offer, I am trying to leave the entrenched corporate culture for a fresh eclectic fun culture, not go to an even more bureaucratic entrenched culture.
If I have doubts and apathy starting a new job, those are definitely really bad warning signs.
I will continue to look for the perfect job elsewhere but for now...
Passing. Final Answer.19
Developer vs Tester
(Spoiler alert: developer wins)
My last developent was quite big and is now in our system testing department. So last week i got every 20 minutes a call from the tester, that something did not work as expected. For about 90% of the time i looked at the testing setup or the logs and told him, that the data is wrong or he used the tool wrong. After a couple of days i got mad because of his frequent interruptions. So I decided to make a list. Every time he came to me with an "error" i checked it and made a line for "User Error" or "Programming Error". He did not liked that much, because the User Error collum startet to grow fast:
User Errors: ||||| |||
Programming Errors: |||
Now he checks his testing data and the logs 3 times before he calls me and he hardly finds any "errors" anymore.4
Me: "You wrapped 2 p tags and one div inside a button tag....why?"
Other dude: "What do you mean why?" * in condescending tone
I lost my shit.
To make things short. My manager told me I have to try harder to not speak to people in intimidating ways.
In all fairness...mr "associates in programming with 0 css experience" WAS condescending when I asked him why he did what he did.
The little shit earned it. And he will probably think twice about his damned tone when speaking to me.29
Dear EA games.
If you want to tell me my password needs to be “more” secure in your error message, at least tell the fucking truth about it.
- 100 random character password entered on mobile
- response: password needs to be more secure
- loads on pc
- notices password rules
- must be between 8 and 16 characters...
- I think that’s a Wii little Less secure you ass hats, and WHY can’t you show this fucking notice on mobile 😖13
Started this machine for the first time after 18 years!!
IBM R51 (32 bit single core Pentium M), 1gb RAM, 40gb old mechanical hdd.
Installed Ubuntu 12 (32 bit from old iso) , installed some educational software to teach mouse n keyboard (my daughter is good in touchscreen on ipad), she is getting hang of mouse so quick, amazed how fast kids learn, wish I could be so fast too.19
B "Do this work (basically a document parser) "
A "Done using regexp"
B "The data coming in is different now"
A "ok, updated the regexp parts to account for this"
B "hmm, I you should rewrite it using library tool coworker made"
A "eeer ok, redone all the work now but it's a little hacky"
B "oh, library tool isn't flexible enough. Hmmm maybe use regexp?"
A - literally dead6
I thought there was no worse freelancer site than fiverr.
*insert "Boy you were wrong" here*
No. Just No.
- Limited to 8 bids as a free account
- You get 1 bid back every 90 FUCKING HOURS
- CLIENTS ARE EVEN MORE RETARDED THAN ON FIVERR
- HALF OF PEOPLE WANT YOU TO SELL YOUR UPWORK ACCOUNT TO THEM
- 5€ FOR 2000 WORDS OF TRANSLATION? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? END YOURSELF PLEASE
- "Design a custom social network (video chat, chat, forum, shop and payment gateway) quick!!!" for 100€, within one day.
What the fuck.
I'm a developer in germany and of course, everyone in this company has a keyboard with the QWERTZ layout, which ( you all know ) sucks especially when using it do write code.
So i asked my boss, if i can get a keyboard in QWERTY layout, because of the given reasons.
He replied nicely: Yes, I will ask the hardware management.
5 minutes later i got a mail: Here is your harware order, you will get it soon.
It's not much, but that was fast and nice :)
Have a good day everybody.32
Just got word that my old company terminated an ec2 instance and ended up deleting all the volumes attached to the instance.
They were using attached volumes as backups 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Who does that?
A lot of customers are very unhappy campers today.
They are all ecommerce sites, some of them with revenue in the millions.
No sites, no backups, no income.
Over a hundred companies don't have sites this am.
Always research who you entrust your own business to!
And always, always, have your own backup solution. Don't trust other companies they are doing the right thing. Because most of time they aren't.
I'm sure there will be lawsuits.
However, there response is even more comical.
Dear customer who entrusted there very own livelihood to us:
We have discovered a regression in our systems that failed to enable termination protection. We have fixed this regression and have found the issue in other instances that have also been fixed.
All backups have been lost. If you have your own backups please give them to us and we will rebuild your site. [However all recent orders are lost, in fact all orders, products, images, customizations, from the most probably dated backups, if any, are lost. Emphasis mine]
Nothing about we are improving our backup method to make it redundant. Just "we switched on termination protection" wtf? 20 dollars a month at rsync.net would have saved a company. Instead, they entrust backups to an attached volume? How is that even called a backup! It's attached!12
I went out of office for a while, and when I was going to sit on my desk, a co-worker said me “Elizadeath, the boss wanna talk with you”. I was concerned, I though “maybe something broke in production code, or they need an urgent code, I don’t know”.
Well, that wasn’t what I expected.
“Elizadeath” she said “I’m seriously worry about you. I saw the plastic bottles our team has collected for the recyling project, and I realized that most of the Coca-Cola bottles came from you!”
Yes, it was a Coca-cola addiction intervention 😂 I’m drinking more water and less coke from now, for my health 😊19
Friend: You make games right?
Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?
Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!
Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-
Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp
Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-
Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!
Me: ... Good luck buddy!7