AboutProgrammer by passion.
Skillsreturn ['js', 'css', 'web', 'sql', 'c#', 'c++', 'objC', 'html5', 'php', 'mssql', 'mysql', 'bash', 'basic', 'batchscript', 'java', 'perl', 'python'].join(', ');
Joined devRant on 10/26/2016
Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2019)
Today, @trogus and I are very happy to announce a devRant feature that we’ve been working on for many months. After extensive time and money investment, it’s finally here! Introducing, pixelated avatars!
@trogus came up with this awesome idea about a year ago, but we couldn’t get it just right so we had to tons of work/research to make those pixelated avatars give the full sense of retro and ULTIMATE pixelation. We think everyone will appreciate how this effort turned out.
Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!
p.s. here is @trogus’s avatar - the model we used to make sure the feature is perfect!62
>Download last version of software, a couple hundred megabytes
>Software immediately asks to download a couple hundred megabytes of updates
>mfw pic related6
Today I learned:
`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”
`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”
Had no idea.34
New hire commit:
Message: Visual update
Gitlab: Showing 27 changed files with 21628 additions and 12296 deletions
Do I kill him before or after teaching him?19
Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."
Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."
Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."
Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"
....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.
I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(19
We have a bruteforce?
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /a
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /ac
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acc
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acco
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accou
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accoun
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /account
[30.01.19 11:26]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/lo
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/log
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/logi
No only a skiddie who try very hard9
I cannot even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions I just went through. I'm on the train, the prompt says next station !my_station. By then the sign says my_station. So I rush off the train. I feel the lightness of a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders... And realise I'm missing my laptop bag, the heavy weight that should be on my shoulders. So I rush to the station office and describe everything about my bag and what's in it and the seat I was in. The guy can't get through to the conductor but the train will be back at this station in 30 minutes. I head home quickly because it's nearby and my fiance offers me a lift back to the station on her car. Suddenly we're running late. She's running red lights. I'm not going to make it. It's 2 minutes past arrival time. But the train is 3 minutes late! I'm running along the platform looking into the carriages for my bag but unable to see much, panicking. The platform is empty. The train. Is going to leave. Except for one lonely figure walking down with a bag in their hands. The conductor gives me my rucksack, tells me it's really heavy and heads back to his duties. I thank him and head back to the station office to thank the man on duty also. Fuck me that was scary.3
Long ago (around a year and half), I discovered Medium and even created an account.
Found it too complex and delete the account in an instant.
I used to often read Medium post after being redirected from various websites I use.
These days, I am on a learning spree and decided to create the account again. Well, they are minimal now (not just decluttered, but minimal).
I read an article, followed by another and then the third.
Then after a short break, I was back to my reading. I open the fourth article and bam! Medium asks me to upgrade to premium version for $5/Month. Just three fucking articles per month on free account.
As stupid as it can get.
Out of curiosity, I deleted the cookies and refreshed the page. Voilà!!!
It works. Now I have three more free articles for the same month.
Well, is this a known issue by them or just a poor way of handling how they track the article count?
I don't know but I am about to delete my account there again because the content is extremely mainstream and American mindset is pushed there a lot (no offense to my American friends but this is what I feel about most of the internet these days).35
Gets run over by truck. Laptop in peaces. Insurrance needed to be sure it was actually broken. Sends laptop to a repair center. They tell me its broken. Repair center asks if I want my laptop back. I said: yes pls. Get laptop back. RAM stolen SSD stolen. Reee! They forgot to send it back..... I mean, you did not have to take out those parts to see it i broken.12
Had to setup 7 HP laptops today for a small hackathon.
Install windows 10...
just shout in the room and hope all cortanas hear the same answer.
done after a couple minutes.
Windows 10 rules.
This story could be over but no, have a plot twist.
All pcs connected to our wifi network as we tried to install Chrome ( cause edge sucks), realized it takes hours to install.
someone drawing internet over here?!
our network wasn't that bad usually.
opens windows store on one laptop by accident.
42 downloads running.
Yep on all of them.
what were they downloading?
candy crush... bubble witch saga...mcaffee.
spent about 4h uninstalling bloatware and teaching windows not to reinstall it over and over again...
and I didn't even mention the "tell us why you think you don't need McAfee premium protection pl0x" and "you really sure you don't want to try edge as default browser? is really fast and stuff" dialog fields...11
me: *submits a PR on our old system*
My teamlead: please mind the code style, there was no need to add the extra whitespace line under that loop.
Me: 🤔 there are style conventions in this project??
NB: this is really old code with tons of long lines, weird spacing and whitespace in random places and functions that span hundreds of lines.
I seriously did not notice a consistent style here.
I wanna go back to working on the new system ☹️9
Agile in practice.
I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.
Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Every fucking day in my company, we get an email from the HR titled "Good Morning, have a nice <DAY_OF_WEEK>", and the message contains a low quality shitty picture grabbed from a random Google search containing a equally shitty quote.
Today's quote read "Happy Friday! Friday is a day to finish your goals of the week!"
lmao like am I suppose to wait till Friday to finish my 'goals of the week'?
I'm so sick of these dumb fucks someone send help 🙄11
I was confirmed to start on the 28th on Monday through an email the one below:
Yes, you can just bring your original paperwork on your first day. January 28th is okay with us. Please come to the Corporate Office at 8:00 on the 28th.
I was going to resign yesterday, Tuesday, was all pumped.
1) post to devrant, check,
2) resignation letter written and cc'd and hard printed, check,
3) courage to talk to boss check.
Ten minutes on Tuesday before scheduled time to have meeting with boss then I get this email:
I am having trouble getting a reference. Is there anyone at your current employment that I can now contact since you gave your two weeks?
WHAT!!!!! Is this normal? wtf? what if the reference check turns out disastrous and I have already turned in my resignation?
Why wasn't this brought up before I resigned?
Ofc, I did not hand in my resignation, but they obviously didn't know that.
It took all day and the recruiter to get involved to get the reference checks done.
But now I'm apathetic, the wind is gone from my sails, and I am not excited anymore about this new job opportunity. They really have ruined my faith in their processes.
If I am not excited to start a new job, that is a really bad sign. What happens if I turn in my resignation then they decide they forgot some other check that I don't pass?
I am writing letter now to decline the offer, I am trying to leave the entrenched corporate culture for a fresh eclectic fun culture, not go to an even more bureaucratic entrenched culture.
If I have doubts and apathy starting a new job, those are definitely really bad warning signs.
I will continue to look for the perfect job elsewhere but for now...
Passing. Final Answer.19
Developer vs Tester
(Spoiler alert: developer wins)
My last developent was quite big and is now in our system testing department. So last week i got every 20 minutes a call from the tester, that something did not work as expected. For about 90% of the time i looked at the testing setup or the logs and told him, that the data is wrong or he used the tool wrong. After a couple of days i got mad because of his frequent interruptions. So I decided to make a list. Every time he came to me with an "error" i checked it and made a line for "User Error" or "Programming Error". He did not liked that much, because the User Error collum startet to grow fast:
User Errors: ||||| |||
Programming Errors: |||
Now he checks his testing data and the logs 3 times before he calls me and he hardly finds any "errors" anymore.4
Me: "You wrapped 2 p tags and one div inside a button tag....why?"
Other dude: "What do you mean why?" * in condescending tone
I lost my shit.
To make things short. My manager told me I have to try harder to not speak to people in intimidating ways.
In all fairness...mr "associates in programming with 0 css experience" WAS condescending when I asked him why he did what he did.
The little shit earned it. And he will probably think twice about his damned tone when speaking to me.29
Dear EA games.
If you want to tell me my password needs to be “more” secure in your error message, at least tell the fucking truth about it.
- 100 random character password entered on mobile
- response: password needs to be more secure
- loads on pc
- notices password rules
- must be between 8 and 16 characters...
- I think that’s a Wii little Less secure you ass hats, and WHY can’t you show this fucking notice on mobile 😖12