At my job in the past week there have been at least one 1 hour-long meeting every day with today hitting the record with 3 meetings.

This is fucking insane. I signed to a developer job, not a guy-sittimg-and-listening job.

* Open browser, type 'dev' to go to developper.apple . com
* First suggestion on the browser: devrant.com
Me: Well, that's ok too..
* Press Enter,
*reeding some rants..

A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.

A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.

Data Manipulation...

Source: Analytics Vidhya

Microsoft is investing in Git, VSCode, Electron, Github, Bash-on-Windows. Things that decentralize and help prevent lock-in.
Apple is taking away the only universal cross platform graphics system (OpenGL), locking developers into Metal, and taking away our escape keys.

Yay! I start a full time internship Monday!

*alright,let's go to bed now*
*finally in bed and about to sleep*

*figured bug out in head*
*gets out of bed, fixes the bug*
*gets back into bed*
.
.
.
*heeeey wait, if I do it like this.... *
*gets out to fix second bug*
*back to bed*
.
.
*Hoooold on... *fixes third bug while laying in bed**

*really has to go to bed now 😩*

Best 404 page I have ever seen 😊

https://acm.illinois.edu/404

Credits : hard.decoder on Instagram
https://instagram.com/p/...

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing." - Ron Swanson

Credits : coding.engineer on Instagram
https://instagram.com/p/...

Bython is the new thang

The DNS server I'm writing in PHP (largely taken from another project) is starting to work!

Next to just blocking queries it logs every blocked query so I can have stats :3

A little terminal output:

Interview.

X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think

I am graduating tomorrow :)

I may have found a bug in the Android app, nothing major but still... If you double-tap a rant from the list, the view will get loaded twice, as in when you want to get back to the list, the view seems to disappear, only to see it again.

Is there anyone else able to reproduce?

Our dad: we used to walk 10km to goto school
Millennials as dad: we used to use 10kbps internet

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Client: "Users are still facing the same problems as before"

Me: "Did they update the app?"

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

Seriously..🤔🤔😥😥😂😂

After one year of learning to code I am still not sure if I am an adequate programmer or a really effective Google user...

Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

At job interview.

They: What would you describe as your biggest character flaw?

Me: *rolls d8* I pretend not to understand the local language in order to avoid interactions I would rather not have.

They: What?

Me: ¿que?

This is hilarious 😂🤣🤣

So one of the apps I develop and maintain is going to get penetration tested.

I recieved an email if I could whitelist all their ips so they could get acces to the system. Without any further details.

Like wtf? Arent you supposed to be testing if you can get acces xD

Next thing they will be asking passwords and keys xD and if I could build in a backdoor.

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

Visual Studio : the var "listlines" is only assigned but its value is never used

Me : I'm using it on the next line, you piece of sh--

Sleep deprivation may have made this funnier than it actually is, but I can't NOT laugh when I see it

Source: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (smbc)