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Probably the strangest thing (bug?) I've found on Google Translate.
https://translate.google.com//...
19 -
The look on a client's face when they realised that I program[med] sex toys for a living was pretty priceless.
Their attitude change, however, cost them a contract. Programming sex toys is no different from programming anything else.
Why do you have to bring in your religious views or my previous contracts into the conversation? All I'm doing is a network audit for your company. I'm not gonna hide a dildo in your closet, or something. I'm supposed to only be around for a few days, too.
Guess I had too many cooties, with how harsh they burnt that contract and bridge.
:')34 -
I love coding
But I hate coding
But I love coding
But I hate my buggy IDE
But I love coding
But my back hurts from all that sitting
But I want to work on my side project
But at times, it's frustration.MaxValue
But anything remotely related to coding I find interesting
But it's so hard to abide by good practices
But I love coding
But progress is so fizzlingly slow
But I love that elegant solution of the other day
But it took me 57 attempts to arrive at that elegant solution
But the shit I'm building is so cool
But
But
😦1 -
*Reads some text about frequencies
"Oh, bass is within 40-100hz. How does it sound?"
*Clicks on demo audio*
*Table trembles*
*Cat jumps high and runs off*
*Pauses audio*
"Yup, that's bass"1 -
Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
I finished a side project.
How could this happen?
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.17 -
Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?2 -
No Mr. Uber, I don't want anyone even my family to know when I am riding nor I want to know when they ride.
3 -
Questions I ask myself when things get serious at work: "Do giraffes get struck by lightning more often than other animals?"2
-
Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!.
Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!
........ 😒4 -
Part 2 of my boss's stupidity
~FreezeFrame.mp4
*Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?*
*You actually reinstated my class?*
~anotherReverseRecordSound.mp3
-------------
Another late night and another set of pulls I needed to do in order to get caught up with the rest of the world.
I had just finished up dealing with a strange bug and had finally fixed it.
"I need to get caught up with my boss," I thought to myself.
I quickly git pull from my boss and a merge conflict occurs.
"Oh, ok that's fine." I say, "that's nothing too odd."
~FreezeFrame.mp4
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?" I shouted inside my head
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, there was a huge chunk of code that was being completely replaced.
"You're actually reinstating my class?" I nearly shouted.
"What!?" my girlfriend shouts from the other room.
"Come here a second, let me show you what it is," I shout back.
She rushes in real quickly, and I point at the code that was being changed.
"Remember that really long ass rant I made about how my boss had completely removed all of my code because he thought it was spaghetti?" I said
"Yeah?" she replied quickly, visually astounded by my excitement.
"He fucking put my class back into the code!!!"
"Wow!... I guess you beat him, huh?" she said.
"You better fucking believe it, but you want to know what's worse?"
She cocked her head sideways, "what?"
"He fucking built it worse than my original! The names don't properly reflect what he is trying do and he's doing a failure job at trying to copy what I had done in my original. He clearly doesn't know about git revert" I said between bouts of laughter.
"This is too good, I'm putting this on devRant!" I said
"I'm not in the least bit surprised that you would." She replied back.
Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1001888/...16 -
Dear diary:
It is 2020 and I still don't know shit about docker :3
I don't know how bad this is.....17 -
Today I found this sticker in the Microsoft merchandise shop.
Now I don't know what to do. I find this epic, but I don't really like Windows. 😥
10 -
!Rant
*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*
"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."
"Why?"
"Big virus leak"
"But that's not ha.."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"5 -
Was practicing kotlin today.
After finishing a file I ran the clean the code thingy and it removed 137 semicolons.
Its gonna take some time getting used to not ending with ;5 -
oh god. I just heard an abrupt noise emit from a pc I was told to fix that could only be described as R2-D2 fucking a 56k modem5
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About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
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After one year of learning to code I am still not sure if I am an adequate programmer or a really effective Google user...5
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What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....1
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*** don't use compiler ***
Question in class today:
int n = 0;
for (int i = 1; i < 10; i++) {
n = n++;
System.out.println(n);
}
what will be printed?51 -
I enjoy listening to Metalcore while coding. It really helps me calm down and focus/concentrate (the irony of that whilst having someone scream right into my ears 😂). It also helps me chill and regulate my emotions better. Am I weird? What helps you focus and code better?32
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Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why5 -
Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.
Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.
I'm standing with a WTF face.
😐9 -
Salesman: "The new version is super impressive for <10 minutes of verbal bullet points>"
Me: Have you fixed any of the bugs we reported in the current version?
Salesman: "Don't worry, the new version uses a totally new codebase, so there are no bugs in it."3 -
Religiously disconnect after work... I don't even have my work email on my phone... If I'm not in the office I don't want to know about it...5
-
So turns out getting drunk and installing arch Linux was a bad idea, somehow managed to format the installation USB instead of my secondary hardrive, set my home directory as the root file system and somehow managed to half install the needed packages to the USB so I wasn't booting and had to go back to a fresh windows install just to redo the USB...
Don't drink and Linux kids...2 -
I wont take privacy laws seriously as long as my pizza delivery service needs a fucken phone number as mandatory field.9
-
I fucking hate people that talk bad about things they know nothing about.
The best thing that I have learned is to always keep my mind open.
From "Linux sucks because there is no software" to "MacBooks are just for rich morons" to "All Microsoft tech is shit" to "CS degrees are just a bunch of useless math" to "Bing sucks".
Fuck, what do you know?? You never spent 5 minutes to try them or get informed about them. You have your shitty ideas and will keep having them because you don't care about the truth... You only care about your comfort zone.
Yes, Bing sucks. I tried it. Google shows me better results.
iPhone might suck. I don't know. Never had the opportunity to try one for long enough.
Whenever you're throwing shit at something, stop and ask yourself: do I know the whole story?11 -
Getting called by my dad "how do I make a local network with my phone?"
"I don't fricking know, I don't have your phone"
"Well you are the tech guy"
Really now?11 -
Ok, so I already asked when junior is no longer a junior..got mixed answers. Now I'd like to know what defines seniority level in your country?! Years of experience, having wide range of knowledge, great leadership skills, having boobs (joke).. ?!? But seriously, I have no clue what the standards in my country are, and internet is full of different opinions & examples that are making me wanna go cry in a corner.. o.O
Figured some answers from real people might help me get my head around this, so if it's not too much to ask fellow devs here, please answer this questions to help me grasp this better with examples..& non dev folks, you are welcome to comment too!!
A) What country are you guys from?
B) How is seniority defined there?
C) How are you placed by others?
D) If different, where would you place yourselves? Why?13 -
So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?
He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.
Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.10 -
Each and every time I sit on a technical test I am reminded I don't know the theoretical background of the programming languages I claim I know.3
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This may be the best Stack Overflow comment I have seen when learning SQL.
How old is Frank? I don't know (null).
How old is Shirley? I don't know (null).
Are Frank and Shirley the same age?
Correct answer should be "I don't know" (null), not "no", as Frank and Shirley mightbe the same age, we simply don't know1 -
! related
So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.
Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...
Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I could've tried...
My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞20 -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing
10 -
I don't know why but whenever I find Flutter and Dart together. i read that Fart. I know it's just me.3
-
Some time ago I was working in a freelance gig. I was the backend developer and the front end guy and I had some differences in our postman collections, so I asked him to email me his exported json collection.
When he emailed me, it was really funny to see his signature, which included all the courses he had and his degrees and whatnot.
like dude, "I didn't wanted your CV, I just wanted the collection"
PS: I hope you get the idea from the image, even if it is in spanish
9 -
"I don't see the point of writing tests on this project. It's just a waste of time. "
3 months later:
"I don't know what's broken and every time I change something I don't know what it could possibly break?"
FFS.1 -
So I am currently figuring out JavaScript, I don't know how to write my _own_ code yet but I know how some statements go. Progress my friends!1
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*Opens IDE*
My brain: oh right! This is that thing that you do to try and convince yourself that coding something will make you feel good about yourself, one day buddy, one day...
Also me: welll... Thanks for the confidence brain *said as I pound down the sixth beer*1 -
10 scenarios of a programmer:
1: My code works and I don't know why.
10: My code doesn't work and I don't know why.6 -
I can follow and am fine with the Vue documentation. I go crazy when I read online tutorials. I don't know webpack. I don't know ES6. I don't know nodejs. Arrghhh.
It is like all of a sudden I'm thrown into an English speaking courtroom as a lawyer or into a bunch of Brits. -
You know what pisses me off? When I don't know what a constant is used for so I check the documentation and this is what I see:
2 -
!rant
I went out tonight. Before I knew it, all the songs being played were far beyond my youth, and I'm now sitting outside smoking cigarettes. Is this normal adulthood?2 -
Complaining about people not understanding basic python syntax but I also don't know even know how to use fucking scratch.2
-
"I don't know what I'm doing. Let's try stack overflow."
*check stack overflow*
"I know what someone else did. Let's try that." -
Who am I?
Where am I?
I ask these question every single day and I still don't know the answer.
(...)5 -
Jeez, it can be done! Thank you CSS, i really thought it wasn't possible. My bacon is saved. (Overriding an inline style, javascript generated, from a linked style sheet).2
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I am insecure about using graphical user interfaces. E.g. IDEs, COTS systems, cloud tools, and ERPs. If I don't know what is happening inside the box I don't feel like I know what I'm doing.7
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So frustrating to learn Swift when I already know objective-c. It's like I know what I'm doing, but really, I don't
-
Having fun with my nvidia graphic card 😎..........
I am talking about graphic card's packet not graphic card LOL
1 -
I can't tell if I'm in majority or minority on hating vim. I just use nano for CLI editing and some better GUI editor with, well, GUI.
Opinions? Reasons?3 -
In interview tests I don't mind you testing for me to know something. However I don't care for tests that are designed to verify the lead is smarter.1
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I just became an android dev last week, yay for me. Though, I really hate how I inherited more than 50k lines of spaghetti!
They ask me to fix this and that, but that's okay for me, I can manage this.
The worst thing is we don't use any kind of version control system. And I'm always tasked to merge my work with other 2 android dev working on same spaghetti.1 -
Assume other people know what they are doing. Since I don't know what I'm doing, why would they know what they are doing?
-
Have my final exam tomorrow.
Main topic is expert systems (XPS).
I don't know jack shit, but I don't care at this point.
Good night.5 -
I don't understand how after decades, people who know what they're doing don't disable automatic updates as one of the first actions on a newly installed windows machine. People moan about it on here like they don't know.5
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it's working ...I don't know how but it's working...I don't wanna know how ...at least not today ...X(
-
Interlnal lib documentation:
'This is a short description: Lorem ipsum...'
Don't know why I expected more...1 -
My code doesn't work and I don't know why.
I cleared cache, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.
I cleared cache, reloaded vagrant, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.
I left my desk, got some coffee, checked devRant, refreshed my browser, my code worked, and I still don't know why!
8 -
pgAdmin 4: I don't know what shit they used to build you and I don't give a light fuck, you fucking suck!! 😤😤4
-
Have you ever considered switching to IT support/help desk?
I mean, sometimes I try to analyze my own situation from a 3rd person perspective and I realize I could have a pretty much stressless job with still enough money to live a normal life.
I have a BSc and MSc(soon to have) in CS, with focus on AI/ML. I've always been a geek with a problem solving attitude, that's why I got into computers in the first place. And now I'm pondering if I should just try an IT Support position, it's the kind of things I used to do as a teenager when a classmate had a network/computer problem, it doesn't even feel like a job to me. I could call it a day, get home at 5/6pm, and spend time on my personal projects (software, infosec) with a fresh mind, going to bed (and sleep) knowing that the next day would be a nice one. No clients wanting a new feature that you gotta implement and push on a production server friday afternoon because your ceo(who is also a pseudo proj manager) just said:"Yes, we can", while you watch the technical debt rising like amazon's stocks.
Maybe this is just the burnout talking, I don't know. Maybe I should just try being a software engineer outside of Uni in the first place, and only then start pondering.
Maybe a sysadmin position...
Have a nice day12 -
I honestly don't know how people use Apple products. I feel like Apple is so limited. I don't know maybe I am wrong because I have used nothing but Android my whole life....11
-
I don't usually put stickers on laptop bit these two are awesome ;)
But I don't know what to do with these other two..
8 -
Friend goes to work on snowblower, quits because they don't know what to do.
I ask: RTFM?
Response: I don't RTFM, I TIFU -
preparing a presentation for the team leader to explain how my code works... I know how to do my work but I don't know how to explain.
-
Reading about technologies I know on IDG owned news sites make me cringe and yet I trust them for news on technologies I don't know.1
-
What is the Probability of , you are the best ?
And I know, you are best .
But I don't know Probability???4 -
Was so worried with all the whining about the windows fall update thinking my pc sucks so it will break for sure. But seems I have had it for a week now and not noticed.1
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Vacations about to end.
Don't wanna go back to college.
WiFi ain't that good. And my ex is there too :(3 -
Alright, I got a question: as a beginner, how so you identify that when something goes wrong with a product, that it was your fault? My boss just Slacked me that one of the websites we're working on has a problem where the buyers can't place an order because I allegedly used the wrong database table. Which I don't remember doing. But maybe I did.8
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If you are into Postgres and don't know this guy than I don't know what to say...
I wonder if he's on devRant
2 -
If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
http://hoveringartdirectors.tumblr.com/... -
Oh yeah that's right this friend of mine wanted me to make a RPG about French President Emmanuel Macron.
That would definitely look neat on my curriculum vitae.1 -
I have to make a domain-specific language for one of my classes (we will be working on it for the next two semesters) but I can't think of anything to do, do you guys have any ideas?5
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Being assigned to projects using technologies I don't know about. I love the company I'm working for3
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I am a student , and i know only basic web development and i don't know how to enhance my skill in it so that I can start earning , I need money urgently and don't know what to do!4
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I know the ascii table values of lowercase and uppercase alphabet letters. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.
-
- "what does that function do?"
- "I don't know"
- "how you don't know !? you are maintaining the project."
- "how do I know what 'ConvertFromDataTableToOther' will do !! it has two inner loops that exchange some columns!"
When CEO is doing code review ..
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