Networking Professor: Alright, how many of you disagree with the way Google collects and uses data?

*basically everyone in the lecture hall raises their hands*

Professor: Okay, now if you were offered a job at Google, how many of you would still take it?

*everyone raises their hands.*

Girlfriend (art student): “You’re in CS. Why don’t you use Windows? Macs are terrible for programming.”

Me: “macOS is better for doing command line compilation and shit because it supports Unix terminal commands and stuff with a reliable OS that’s better-supported than most Linux OSes. I also have Windows on my laptop too, for Visual Studio.”

Girlfriend: “Only like 1% of people use command line stuff. Windows is better for programming. I’ve seen a lot of CS majors use Windows.”

Me: “Uh. You watch me use my computer every day. The stuff I do in Terminal takes forever on Windows.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, but Windows is just better for programming though.”

Help.

I don't really like that corny ass joke about going to the grocery store and buying eggs or whatever the fuck it is, but this.... This is fucking hilarious.

There's a solid 75% chance that Caecilia is a programmer.

"Let's mark every issue a high priority so it all gets done faster."

When your Dad questions your CS credentials because you can't fix his printer.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys.

I need a friend. A real friend. And I'm looking for one (or many) among you.

Is any of you interested in being my friend?

I know, it sounds weird. My inner self bully is bringing to mind many adjectives for saying that: faggot, weak, snowflake, gay, pussy, clingy, demanding.

I know. But I'm at the edge of 30 and I think it's better if I cut the shit and just be very clear about the type of friend I'm looking for.

I need people that will be there when the shit gets tough.

I can joke with you,
I can laugh my ass off with you,
I can passionately argue about what's the better programming language.

But most importantly, I can be there when you're depressed, when you want to punch your boss in the face, when you're griefing a loved one that is gone.

And that exactly what I'm looking in a friend.

I used to have friends in life, but a variety of circumstances caused some distance: commitments, personality changes, physical distance, or just a feeling that they don't give two shits about me.

Am I the perfect friend? Not at all. I have a temper and am quite opinionated about my tools, but most of the times I try to be a not-asshole.

I might get angry and be very honest when I don't like something, but it would be very weird for me to turn my back on a friend.

It is impossible for someone to be friends with and to like everyone. But the least I can do is just give anyone a chance.

I think friendships are just things that take time and grow if there is enough care put into them.

Here's my discord chirptune#1829, so if you add me, please let me know your username here.

I think it'd be cool to have like a brotherhood on discord or slack of people looking out for each other (jesus christ, that sounds corny as fuck)

Not to rob people from devrant, I just think that the board style can't fulfill deeper social needs imo, that's all.

<rant data-type="corny">

My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...

</rant>

Roommate: "Hey, man, uh, I know you use computers a lot or something; do you know off the top of your head how to use the touch screen on my computer?"

Me: "Uh, your laptop doesn't have a touch screen."

Roommate: "Yeah, but I thought you might know how to use it as a touchscreen."

Me: "...Your laptop does not have a touch screen."

I swear, this is the dumbest man I have ever come into contact with.

That'd be fine if this was a one-off type of thing, but he seriously has approx. 209.8 brain cells in total.

Once, with no argumentative basis, he told me that, if Mickey Mouse got enough votes as a write-in candidate, he could win the Presidency of the United States. I showed him Article II of our Constitution, and he said "why does that even matter here?"

Three more months, school'll be done, and I never have to see him again.

Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.

I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.

Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.

Interviewer: Do you have any questions?
Me: When can I expect to hear back?

Interviewer: The HR will inform you
The HR never contacted me

4 years back I interviewed with a big bank
Neither the interviewer nor HR got back to me

Initially I had hope so I mailed them
Even then I didn’t get any revert

It is understandable that
I might not be deserving of that job

But I felt I deserved a feedback why?
The experience was really disappointing

Recently, a colleague & I were interviewing
“You don’t match our current requirement”

“We will send a written feedback
in a couple of days”, I told the candidate

Later my colleague: “Isn’t it unprofessional
to directly reject the candidate?”

Me: “I feel that an honest no is much better
than false hope from a delayed feedback”

“The candidate can move on
& focus on other interviews better”

Thoughts? Did I do the right thing?

Have you ever got a delayed feedback
or no feedback at all after an interview?

I got my very first dev job! After first making it to an interview where I didn't think I did all too well, I got a boost when on the 22nd December they called me asking for a referral. I gave them one but the person could not be contacted before the 23rd - close to xmas.

After an agonizing wait over the xmas period I finally got the call today. One hell of a way to start the new year!

I got a summer job (full time student) doing actual coding! I am so pumped!!!

That fucking sales guy.

When another dev gets all religious about a technology instead of acknowledging that different problems call for different solutions.

Just because you have nowhere to go for a vacation right now, it does not mean there’s no point taking a holiday.

You’re still human and besides, now you’re working double hours - house work + office work + kids & family!

PS - You work to live not vice-versa :)

Fuck the JavaScript ecosystem; Fuck React, Redux, and a big special fuck you to React-Router. And fuck interviews that give week long assignments.

The whole fucking JavaScript community makes the simplest things so complicated just so that they can tell Backend and Mobile Devs “Hey our job is difficult too”; fuck you, it isn’t! You made it difficult. and so that they can write corny emoji-laden medium articles about it to supplement their meagre income. What’s more the articles are outdated in less than a week.

Fuck JavaScript; APIs changes everyday a week and it’s documentation is updated every decade.

A 30 minute Jenkins pipeline just happened to start at the same time as today’s Nintendo Direct. Whoops. Guess I’ll take a break.

Sorry if this has been addressed already, but what happened to the devRant podcast? Is it dead?

When the client asks "is your software bug-free?"

Got talked into watching Demolition Man today.

Corny jokes, lousy shots, all the things that made me realise that 90s movies are sooo much better than 19 movies

Founder: Are you sure you want to join this startup?

Candidate: 100% sure Sir

Founder: Startups are risky, what if we shut down next month?

Candidate: Sir, I will do whatever it takes to not let that happen

Founder: That’s what I was looking for. You can join at 90% salary cut. That will give us 2 months more runway

Extending java.lang.Object :-|

Looks like my new years resolution is to be more controversial.

I realize that all the OSes can easily have 10s with the correct setup, however that wouldn't be much fun.

Bit of background:

After I almost threw a Windows pc against the wall for not being able to ssh from the cmd after I had already spent ages trying to install something, which was one command on the Linux and Mac terminal, I thought about the differences between the 3. Then, when a friend of mine (who has used Linux for many years) spent many hours trying to connect a pair of headphones to his Linux computer, I decided to make this graph to spark a debate and hear your opinions.

Work overtime for a month to develop a polished product inside and out. Not a peep from anyone. Throw together a simple script in a few minutes to run some daily reports and suddenly you're a god.

fired in the morning, feeling happy! in 39 minutes later, having next job in the startup I worked for before.
yeah just would like to add, not only be honest, but communicate.. on friday I was laughing with colleagues hacking open source, today I guess they are more surprised than me.
so yeah don't just say empty words without deeds in behind, adding the picture to make you guys feel corny

The problem with bootstrap is that when implemented in full, it is extremely easy to identify (same goes for the likes of materialize). However, I find if it is used sparingly it can be incredibly useful without being obvious. My question is, is utilizing something like bootstrap a "cop-out" or is it an incredibly useful tool, but needs to be used sparingly? So to speak, are you less of a dev if you don't write all of your css from the ground up? Or is it just common sense to make use of something that simplifies the task? Please discuss and happ new year 🎉

"My generation's obsession with having established careers before 25 has led to everyone being hyper competitive, opportunistic, self-centered and deeply insecure. I wish everyone could relax a bit!"

I came across this quote few days back and I don't know why but this did hit me hard. Every word was so so true, I wish I along with everyone of this age group could relax a bit and enjoy this wonderful life.

Do you feel the same as I do, or is it just me ?

Here's a corny Git joke.

How do you get the code for the bank vault?

You checkout their branch.

Seriously though, since so many devs I know rant about their QA / test engineers, what would your ideal Test engineer look like?!

I mean sometimes I feel like devs expect test engineers to write them their unit tests too...

!rant

One forgets so quickly how a bad internet connection feels like.

God I think I cant bear this 1mbit, 500ms ping shit connection. Feels like 2002 all over again.
Please dear internet gods, send help!!!

Too classically corny NOT to post.

#reasonstodevorce

So I had my first "real" interview today. It was for an internship at a big company and I really wanted that internship. I know I'm more than capable for that position and I made a hell of a good job on the coding challenge they sent (or at least I think so). But I went unprepared for that interview and I think I fucked up.

The guy asked me what were my strengths and weaknesses (of fucking course, cliche question). I had no idea what to answer, I was caught completely off guard. So I said I never quit as a strength and I couldn't think of any weaknesses. It was a very corny response but I didn't mean to say exactly that. I wanted to say that even if something is frustrating and I have to bang my head against the wall for three days, I won't give up on a task. It's basically the same as saying what I said, but it does feel nicer and less corny y'know? And as a weakness I could've said that I didn't have experience working with a team, as I've always worked solo.

I could have been awesome, but I didn't prepare myself for the interview. I really, really wanted that internship since that'd be awesome on my resume, I'd earn some of my own money and I'd learn a whole fucking lot.

Deep down I still have some hope that I'll get an e-mail back and I'll get the position, but I think I won't. This sucks. I am qualified, BUT I DID AN AWFUL JOB ON LETTING THEM KNOW I'M QUALIFIED.

I just wanted it so bad :(

The human brain can act really weird sometimes! It makes us behave irrationally, believe in total nonsense, and can even change our memories. However, every decision we make is made for a reason. So what do you think, exactly is it that determines the choices you make?

When you could just create a subreddit but decide to build an app instead.

How was hacktoberfest?

Some 10 years ago when I was studying my associated degree at college, the academic program director came to our classroom and gave us a sheet to put down our emails to update our info.

So, as told everyone passed down the sheet and when he started reading it, he asked right away in public to my friend(his name is angel and academic program director will be APD):

APD: angel, is your email really as written? angel_y_danna_juntos_x_100_pre@hotmail.com (that roughly translates to angel_and_dana_forever_together@hotmail.com)

*everyone laughed*

Angel: *blushes* yes...

My friend by that time just started cyber-dating a girl called danna, so he was very corny about it... even created a new email account with that looong address

PS: just remembered this history because some new user called @thisnameAndthisname

GAC City, Bitch
GAC GAC City, Bitch

Moving to Zürich, Switzerland a good idea for 110k?
Job sounds great, just not sure about switzerland... Any remarks, tipps, trick?

Q: Where's the best place to find horribly corny dev puns?
A: Devrants late at night

seriously you guys are killing me

ngl i chucked at a few tho