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Search - "dbms"
Not that i mean any disrespect but fuck you. Fuck you and all that you stand for. No seriously, just go hit a train and die.
You are a DBMS teacher in an Engineering college and teaching to the Computer Science students in the year 2017, where computers are fully capable of playing sports and simulating human brain.
And you want your students to write down all the sql queries along with their monolithic tabular output on paper..... With pen?
And you wont accept my printed out output?
Fuck you from the depths of my heart.
Go ahead and dont accept my project.
I dont need your fucking credits.7
Advice for all future developers: for every project you work on - write down the time you've spent on it, which technologies (eg. Languages, stack, DBMS.. ) you used and what the subject of the project was. You'll likely gonna need it for future job applications and it's hard to come up with every detail after 6 years if you haven't written it down...2
Haha this happened to me once! But it took me a week to figure it out and after re-writing the code and hours upon hours of googling2
WHY THE FUCK DO MY TEACHERS KEEP USING SHITTY TRANSLATIONS FOR PROGRAMMING CONCEPTS?! Like dude, everything related to programming is in english, just use the fucking terms in english for fucks sake. There are some words like "array" that fit into portuguese sentences without needing translation, so why translate it?
Why do you use acronyms in portuguese? People in the Database Systems class will later read a lot the acronym DBMS but won't know what the fuck that is because they teach the acronym SGBD, which is a translation.
It's so cringy and useless, so many terms the students will have to translate back to english when they get out to the real world because everything related to programming is in english.
"oh but what if the person doesn't know english" you don't even have to know english, just associate the concept (which will be explained to you in your language) with an english word. Also if you don't know english you'll have a very hard time, so I'd suggest taking english classes as your electives.
Ok I'm done, I got it out of my system.6
Has this ever happened to any job applicant here:
Java, angulaj js, TDD, node js and demonstrated usage of noSql DBMS.
You qualify for the job and only to find the work mainly requires php1
Use of any other DBMS than Oracle is 0 marks instantly. Shared by a friend, unnamed UK uni, IT PM course. This is 2016.5
DBMS teacher flunked me mostly because of bad handwriting. :|
It's okay because I already earn more then he does. :)6
Question: Why did the DataBase Administrator divorce his wife?
Answer: She had "one-too-many" relations6
When I think how big companies like Google, Amazon, Netflix manage all their services so well (all those load balancings, caching, etc. ), I feel so bad I don't know anything about it. I don't even know how people decide which technology to use. E.g., for a scalable Web app, one can use Node.js or maybe Django (but not definitely Flask, I suppose). Also, which DBMS to use, how to write flawless APIs. You see, I am just beginning my career. Any recommendations (books, videos, etc.) that teach these things? Please help.4
Was an aspiring 2nd grade student then, still a newbie in databases and stuff.
Managed to work with bossy motherfucker who didn't give a flying fuck about proper management, team culture, job roles and everything and treated people like shit.
The big boss wanted me to develop the ecommerce website that integrates with 1c (complete and utterly garbage buggy ass dbms with RUSSIAN SYNTAX, nuff said) and with its own crm to track every employee and even real time chat. He also wanted it to be a kind of online medical wikipedia. And he wanted me to take a professional photo of each and every fucking item for this website, somewhere around 5 thousand photos.
He offered me around 800 bucks for all that job. No, not monthly. He wanted me to do all that shit alone, for 800 bucks and expected it to be up and running in less than two months.
Gently told him to fuck off. Quit that job the same day.2
I am an university student in India and had been working on my DBMS project for the semester.
I have been working my ass off for a fuckin month , skipping classes missing out on friends. Now it's the end of semester and my professor is handling me by the balls. He didn't even see the actual working model, all he wanted was a project report with near 0% plagiarism.
So today after a week of ass licking and countless trip from my dorm to his office and back, he accepted the project.
And that wankstain jizznut shameless cunt of a teacher took the project ,deleted my name ,deleted any text connecting the project to me or the university and wrote his name ,his degenerate name on the front page.
Not to mention published it under his own name.12
Reading a paper on DBMS architectures, and I quote:
"In the seventies, the scientific discussion
in the database (DB) area was dominated
by heavy arguments concerning the most
suitable data model, sometimes called a
... and here I thought language argument was a religious war. :/8
Today I had plans to refresh my knowledge about transactions' internals in dbms and in general.
Then the rainy weather hit the town. The whole sleepy day wasted on Netflix.
Well.. I guess it was time for a break :) haven't had one in weeks3
Ok... I hate databases... ( subject )
I can’t understand a single thing 😭😭😭
What the hell is view and conflict serializability!!!
Tomorrow is my exam... 😭😭😭😭
If someone can tell, it’ll b extremely helpful 😨9
You may know I love to hate tests. Well not the tests actually, what I hate is the TDD culture.
DBMS schema in my app dictates a key can either have a value, or be omitted - it can't be null, and all queries are written with that in mind (also they're checked compile-time against schema). But tester failed to mock schema validation, inserted a bunch of null keys with mock data, actually wrote assertions to check those keys are null (even though they never should be), and wanted me to add "or null" to my "exists" queries.
No, we don't need more tests, and you're not smart with your "edge cases" argument. DBMS and compiler ensure those null values can never exists in our DB, and they're already well tested by their developers. We need you to stop relying on TDD so much you forget about the practical purpose of the code, and to occasionally break from the whole theoretical independent tests to make sure your testing actually aligns with third-party services some code uses.
And no, we don't need more tests to test your mocks, and tests to test those test, and yo dawg, I heard ...5
Hello devs, I need help from database devs.
The company where I'm interning is a non IT company, so they planned to migrate to a SQL Database from their older MS Access Database.
Since I'm the only IT intern, I'm up against the major devs and hot shots from where my company outsources IT solutions.
They suggested SQL Express.
I have a meeting tomorrow with them, please help me so that I can get better results for my company.
Basically I have to question them about how their decision works better for our firm and why didn't we go for MySQL Enterprise Edition or anything which is much better and cheaper and such critical questions.
Please help me.
The Database would be used to store information about the products manufactured and their parts' history so that in future if there's a problem with the product, it can be looked up in the database so that there can be further replacement or repair processes.10
You want me to be an expert in advanced data structures, algorithms, dbms, Oracle, python, machine learning, J2EE just to develop apps for you? If I had been a master of all trades, I would not have come to you in the first place.2
What the fuck?? Just spending 3 fucking hours to make a trigger in MySQL... and discovering now in website of this fucking DBMS there is "Cascaded foreign key actions do not activate triggers." Why??????
1. Teach DS and Algos. Not basics but advanced data structures and the ones that are recently published.
2. DBMS should show core underlying concepts of how queries are executed. Also, what data structures are used in new tech.
3. Teach linkers, compliers and things like JIT. Parsers and how languages have implemented X features.
4. Focus on concept instead of languages. My school has a grad course for R and Java. (I can get that thing from YouTube !!)
5. Focus a little on software engineering design pattern.
6. It's a crime to let a developer graduate if he doesn't know GIT or any version control. Plus, give extra credits for students contributing to open source. Tell them if they submit a PR you get good grades. If that PR gets merged bonus (straight A may be ?)
7. Teach some design pattern and how industry write code. I am taking up a talk at school to explain SOLID design pattern.
Mostly make them build software!
Make them write code!
Make them automate their homeworks!
Make them an educated and employable student.!1
It's 2016 and I have to learn SQLJ to pass a subject.
Yes, I'm unfortunately a part of the "great" Indian education system.6
Definition of database table in my DBMS book :
Table is a rectangular array 😩😂😂😂
I am like why am I even studying this subject1
The DataEase system that tracks escheated funds I wrote in the last millennium that lives today! The entire system can fit on a 3.5” diskette 😀 Does anyone remember DataEase? Popular dbms eons ago. Fun fact - Microsoft wanted to buy them to be Microsoft Access but they turned down the offer. 😫
Recent experience (previous sem).
We had this DBMS teacher who used to sit most of the time during lectures, and used to write SQL in lab session with the help of lab technician.
We're saved by more experienced lecturer at last hour.
I'll remove some courses - make some optional and some courses mandatory.
I'll explain- I did my B.E. degree in I.T. I'll remove some courses like the ECE subjects (Digital electronics , Communication Theory) - something I'll never use. If I will - I can learn it at that time. Some mandatory courses like DBMS, OS etc. And some optional ones you can take according to your passion like - security courses or scalability courses etc.
I'm starting a little side project (a web app for finding/booking musicians) and have to decide which language to use for the backend. I have broad experience with Java and C#, but it would also be nice to learn something new (Kotlin? Go? Rust?)
Additionally, what's your recommendation for databases? (SQL vs. NoSQL vs. ...)
For the frontend, I'd like to use typescript, webpack and Vue.js.
Any thoughts? ;)8
Can anyone suggest me ML and deep learning projects as my final year project..??
any suggestions .... appreciated7
What's up guys any devs from San Diego? I'm currently looking for a job or projects to work on. I'm fresh out of code bootcamp at LEARN Academy. Any Ruby devs out there?2
What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...
I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.
- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)
Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)
But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.
As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...2
When debugging/troubleshooting, what does your desktop look like?
I have a total of 8 production environments to look after, each of which have their appropriate dev environments. Troubleshooting for me typically starts with VisualVM, 6-8 Putty sessions across the environments, at least one dbms session, WinSCP with at least 4 sessions, text editor with minimum of five open files and at least thirty tabs open in Chrome. Oh yeah, forgot outlook and Skype (typically with at least three team mates and usually a group chat).
All is well when I'm in the zone, but good forbid for someone to ask me to show them the article/bug report I just read that sent me down the rabbit hole.1
Got a question on DBMS Normalization. I tried searching but couldn't clear my doubt. So I have a set of functional dependencies for relation R(C, D, E, F, P, R, S) :
So I have to convert this to 3NF. My doubt is that when finding 2NF do we find all the non-prime attributes that are dependent on a particular partial key i.e. do we take it's closure and create new relations for each partial dependency? If we do that then there are overlapping attributes in the resultant relations in this case I found the relations in 2NF as :
R2(P, R, C, E, F)
R3(S, E, F, D, C)
But when I just used the FDs as they are given (no closure) I found :
R2(P, R, C)
R3(S, E, F, D)
Which one is correct, please help.3