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Search - "feature creep"
Why is it that you project managers and bosses often try to sneak new features into a project, when you should be the ones to suggest them to the client, negiotiate a budget for it or – if the client doesn't agree or doesn't want to pay – just leave it for good?
Have to explain to project managers on a constant basis that adding random features for free isn't going to help us, is fucking annoying! On the contrary, it's bad for us, since 99% of all clients are entitled, arrogant, cheap as fuck and will actively try to avoid paying for extra features next time, once they learn they can manipulate us into implemebting features for free. Last time I checked you needed to earn money in order to pay for your expenses, unless you're already stinking filthy rich.
"Oh, and wouldn't it be nice to …" – shut the fuck up and listen, you fucking moron: yes, it would be nice. It would also be nice if somebody came over to my office twice a day, sucked my cock, cleaned my desk, brought me a coffee and some food, theb left again. Guess what? That's not gonna happen, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT FOR NO PAY WHATSOEVER?
Yes, some features would be fun to integrate, many would really be needed to round up the experience, but the client didn't agree in the first place, and some little UX improvements only start making sense when the project develops beyond a certain state. You cannot foresee all edge cases, and project budgets seem to be generally underfunded in the first place. And now you dim-witted knuckle-scraping assclowns come along and throw out features for free of which you don't even know how much work they are to implement.
Stop fucking doing that! Either grow a pair or fuck off and get a job where turd polishers like you are actually useful, but I'm not going to work with you ever again, if you make me feel like a five-dollar-whore by giving away my precious time for free.6
"I'm currently looking over the new site, since you said you were finished, and, on the whole, I like what I see so far, but how about you add a little feature that ..."
Yeah, how about you shut your fucking dick holster?2
If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.4
I call my git repos the field hospital.
I didn't finish my studies, but I seem to be the most qualified person to pick up the scalpel. Big corner of body bags. New brilliant ideas arrive, I do what I can with the time I have. Sometimes something survives, but it's usually too heavily mutilated to fully function. Unfinished refactorings develop into hardened scar tissue, the feature creep starts festering and leaking.
I should get better at triaging, just deleting old crap, pick one project and nurse it back to health.
But it's not easy to start with fresh focus, when your keyboard is still soaked in booze and the blood and tears of all the victims you've butchered.4
System design meeting with the client.
Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.3
FUCK YOU BUSINESS GUY
FUCK YOUR SCOPE CREEP
SOLO DEV AINT GIVING U 20 FEATURES IN ONE MOTHERFUCKING WEEK
Seriously, though. Being a solo full-stackq developer who can do both frontend (react, redux) and backend (feathers, node) does NOT mean you have twice the manpower to accomplish all of your shitty shit. Just because you have an idea does NOT mean I have to implement all of it. You don't even have a motherfucking specifications for me, yet you expect me to deliver shitloads of complete fucking feature in a fucking week. This is not a fucking joke. I am NOT your mother fucking tool. I need time to build my stack, design and perfect the interface. I don't want a shitty motherfucking product on my fucking portfolio.
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3
I knew I had found the right group of friends when one of them suggested we try SQL Injection on the instant messaging feature of the bowling alley console.
Unrelated, do people not think, "hmm, that seems like an unnecessary feature?"2
Overhearing your boss pitch the application you're currently working on to a client as an effort to save them from leaving, only to also hear him list features that were never discussed as part of the application launch.1
Beware of scope creep. If it's a bug, fix it for free. If it's a new feature or changed from the original signed off scope, charge for it.1
It's too many features for me to keep up with. And the client just bounces between this matrix of all the possible permutations of them, refusing to admit that he is asking for mutually exclusive behavior in more than one place. I have mentioned to him at least 12 times a year that there is too much going on, not organized, we need to simplify, prioritize, or we will have 100 half baked untested features.
Of course it is more or less made it out to be that this is all my fault, or at least it's hard not to feel that way when I say:
It will be a long time before X will be working, we need 25 other things first.;
Next day he asks:
Have you made any progress on X;
I reply: Now we need 24 things to be done at this rate it will be a month.;
Ok but I need this yesterday. How about if you add a new feature Y that does everything X does without those 24 things?;
I reply: That will not work at all like X. Y is just X + 1 more feature.
He replies: Ok well I need Y so when you're done with X I need a way to do it like Y also. I just thought it'd be easier.
EASIER TO ADD MORE FUCKING FEATURES YEAH SURE THATS EASY AS FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK. He's a nice enough guy, pretty smart compared to my first few paying gigs, but wtf really? How do I come out and tell you I need 25 days and you ADD more work? This was one example.
IN TWO days he has added 12 features. And during the week has asked for 29 UI interfaces to be COMPLETELY different. This is becoming COMMONPLACE. Every week there is either a huge change, or a conversation like about that finds its way into the entire business flow inside an dout.
The worst thing is: I TOTALLY understand what he needs. I feel that HE doesn't. This weekend I spent literally HALF of his retainer on getting equipment into my hands to bring it back to find out it DOESNT WORK. Why aisn't HE doing this so I can finish the features from NOVEMBER that HE NEEDS in order to PROCESS SALES.
I've tried and tried but I just can't get through to this client what a tremendous waste of time his \"process\" is, for lack of a better word. Constant changes, contsant additions, lack of clarity, needless repetition and contradictions, constantly adding moonshot ideas to compete with every industry in the region, and not beta testing anything until something goes wrong.
Fuck this guy! His business is failing and I felt responsible for the longest time but it is clear to me that if I wanted to save his business I would have to ignore 95% of his feature requests. I ignore 50% now because of the stress in trying to determine which of the 3 different paradigms he is talking about changing. I will lose this client, and I feel like he will sue me to get all of his money back. He holds me to very little honestly - BUT WEEKLY reminds me that he won't be able to pay me next month if feature XY and Z arent ready!
If a developer is CLEARLY overwhelmed, it makes NO sense at all to continue to PILE ON feature after feature
rant+=", after feature"
except DevHeadExplodes as inevitable:
Most pissed off I've ever been at work when was I attending some development meeting about the "slow progress we were making", in which the boss (same one giving us shit for being slow) came up with several new good ideas that he wanted implemented ASAP. Same thing he'd been doing all year; fucking up our plans and adding a metric shitton of feature creep. I tried to give realistic estimates for how long it would take to implement, and casually mentioned that working on this would also push back the other stuff on our plate, but he snapped at me and accused me of being a "negative influence" and "sabotaging the project", and went on in a long rant about how we didn't take the work seriously enough and that we didn't put in enough effort.
I was a hair's breadth away from flying over the table and strangling him with his keyboard cable, and the only thing that kept me in check was the tiny amount of steam I vented by snapping the pen I was holding in two. We'd been working overtime every day for months to try to meet his insane demands and accomodate him by doing all the changes and additions he wanted done, and I found his tirade - mainly targeted at me - highly unfair.
Somehow I managed to exercise restraint, and I'm not sure if he even realized what happened.1
Me: "there's a fatal crash in the build that has gone to testing, this is how we fix it"
Project lead: "they haven't noticed yet, add the feature the boss wants"
Next day, boss:"testing found a fatal crash this morning and couldn't do any testing because of it, how'd it get past you?!"
Feature creep is absolutely terrible. Every freaking time I start working on my game I’ll tell myself, “okay, I’m almost done. 90% done, just got to finish up these designs her- wait a minute, does that button look right?” *Proceeds to completely redesign the UI and add 8 more options.* etc, etc.
Point is, I need to stop adding stuff. I need a hard deadline.2
My first freelance project.
My wallet was almost empty, but I got a 1 week project (YAY!), but paid after completion. Obviously, it didn't work out well. Feature creep followed me into the second week, I didn't get paid, I was out of money. When I asked for payment, their accountant was on vacation, and they told me they would pay me when everything is completed.
Went to stackoverflow (one of the sites that relates to freelancing) and asked about this dilemma. Was advised to move on unless they pay me. When I told them that I want out, because of money, they quickly found that accountant.
But even after that, ODesk (now upwork) was only pain. I was too fast for it. I demanded like 30$ per hour, which nobody wanted to pay, but when someone did risk it, they got too much for it. I ended up living paycheck to paycheck because it's so hard to convince people that you're good enough.
That site is only good for people in countries with very low living cost, that are OK with spending 4 hours per day trying to convince people of something.2
Entry/Junior dev rant:
Project I was given, with no hard deadline has been dragging on for weeks. Requirements keep changing because reviewers come up with new corner cases every time I push my latest round of code changes (based on last round of feedback) ..
This proj was supposed to only take a month, i'm on 2 months now, now I also have to mock the 3rd party service API so we dont make live calls to the real servers for testing..
I was encouraged early on to get a prototype working ASAP of my project, so I hacked it together in 2 weeks..
Kicking myself in the ass for not spending those first 2 weeks creating a spec and getting input on all corner cases so when dev time came, everything would go smoothly.
"Build a prototype" approach to feature proposal seems like a tease b/c there is waayyy more planning involved in making a real feature.
Note that I'm doing this from the product team, and my mgr is pressing me for results and "why isn't this shipped yet?"
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO THINK THIS WHOLE THING THROUGH BEFOREHAND!!!
I really do want to make a lateral move to engineering. Shit is hard, yeah I get it.. Wish this proj would stop generating scope creep. Trying not to take it personally that code feedback takes days to get, either.2
Programming an app for a friend = inevitable feature creep, unrealistic expectations and insane time frames. How do you guys deal with developing for non devs? It's like talking to a brick wall 😔8
Story of my life - Feature creep, creeping featurism or featuritis is the ongoing expansion or addition of new features in a product, such as in computer software. These extra features go beyond the basic function of the product and can result in software bloat and over-complication rather than simple design.
New feature request that could be unecessary by client just sticking to one of 4 different very similar input formats instead of many off the cuff formats, that conflict and i cant guess let alone a computer. But i present an outline idea of the solution with his specs
I didnt complain just told him what needs to change and what our constraints will be how the info is interpretted etc
Client says "dont spend time on code for that feature.. stick to other original work for now" ! omg hes getting it! Sweet. I only wasted an hour this time, and if he does want the feature, we have an agreed spec for it. We can get back to handling the customer level shit and maybe he can make some more money finally.
Scope creep plus 0, me plus one. Scope creep still in thr lead by a lot. Oh well. Still, this guy is getting more tolerable
Feature creep aside I do think after a few weeks of use that notifications on devrant could use a bit of work. There is a lot of interaction and it can get confusing.
Some use cases currently not supported:
- On long threads I want to know which comment of mine that got a new ++. Perhaps scrolling to it + different colour?
- Seeing the new interaction per thread rather than per timeline.
- Getting a hint on which thread people interacted with. First sentence would be useful.
- Muting threads.
- Marking individual notifications as read without opening them.
- Moving notifications out of the menu and giving them separate button to save a click (many times a day)
If something on the list is already possible I suggest it be made more obvious ;)
Apart from being full of awesome people I really like being able to sort the flow of posts. I know this isn't staffed anywhere near the big social media and it's fine the way it is. But this is my two cents even if no one asked for them.
I don't know if I'm terrible, or if this will sound familiar to anyone. I rushed so much of this project. That's not a good excuse for what's happening, but, speaking about it with a newly converted coder who is a good friend of mine, let him be called F:"
F: I'm so bored I'm going through my script and making a few subs for some repetitive code. I saved 90 lines today.
Me: Bored you say... debating what sort of code of mine to send you for you to ... review.
Because, the reality is, if I dont finish certain features by May, shit will hit the fan lol So I am considering asking for a boilerplate NDA and a few extra bucks from client.nickname, to bring on testers and/or UI guys and/or database guys.
But you seemed to be doing alot lately, so I was thinking, I would deal with fiverr and freelancer.com first
F: I dunno what use id be by May but I'll always look at stuff
Me: A ton. You could literally review any code in any language youre learning. Your review code be: address/models.py class Address 1. TODO for validating formatted address 2. Why is formatted address declared twice?
To which my response would be Fuck thats right and Zomg really
And if I knew about this... last week.. I'd be hours ahead of schedule and not have just forgotten why I needed to fix address
Headache, bronchitis, feature creep. But for years I've used light themes. Now I'm using dark themes and it's easier on my eyes. Hmm. Used to hurt my eyes to use dark! Anyway it's about the worst day to try this out because. ..just switched to clients text messages and the "know you're not feeling well but ..." burnt into my retinas bc i didn't think ahead to change any non IDE or dev related to a dark theme.
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