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Ladies and Gentlemen I've upgraded from being lonely to In a relationship
'Cause I finally found the girl of my dreams. 💑
HaHa April Fool's Day 😂😂
That moment when you've been sat on the toilet reading devRant so long that your legs have gone dead so when you try to stand up you faceplant the opposite wall :-/
devRant is bad for my health !
EDIT: what's more embarrassing is I lay on the floor writing this rant.7
Once I had a summer job at the town hall that ran some mainframe program.
The woman explaining this program was like 'now that you've pushed that we have to go back 3 screens and return to it just to check if the data has been properly updated.'.
I'm first thinking like 'wtf' followed by a 'could it be' and pushed the F5 button. The thing refreshed instantly and the women went wild! (That is after staring for 2 whole seconds with her jaw dropped at the screen, unable to grasp what just happened.)
HUU?! WHAT! WHAT DID YOU PRESS!!??? HOW DID YOU..??
Turns out she was been going back and forth these screens for over more than 20 years!
The dutch referendum against the new mass surveillance is going to happen and one politician said that he'll continue with it no matter what the outcome is.
We've got a dutch version of john oliver over here (Arjen Lubach).
Man, how he burned that politician into the ground, it was nearly painful to watch! (The video is in dutch though)8
Our web department was deploying a fairly large sales campaign (equivalent to a ‘Black Friday’ for us), and the day before, at 4:00PM, one of the devs emails us and asks “Hey, just a heads up, the main sales page takes almost 30 seconds to load. Any chance you could find out why? Thanks!”
We click the URL they sent, and sure enough, 30 seconds on the dot.
Our department manager almost fell out of his chair (a few ‘F’ bombs were thrown).
DBAs sit next door, so he shouts…
Mgr: ”Hey, did you know the new sales page is taking 30 seconds to open!?”
DBA: “Yea, but it’s not the database. Are you just now hearing about this? They have had performance problems for over week now. Our traces show it’s something on their end.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no!”
Mgr tries to get a hold of anyone …no one is answering the phone..so he leaves to find someone…anyone with authority.
4:15 he comes back..
Mgr: “-beep- All the web managers were in a meeting. I had to interrupt and ask if they knew about the performance problem.”
Me: “Oh crap. I assume they didn’t know or they wouldn’t be in a meeting.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no! No one knew. Apparently the only ones who knew were the 3 developers and the DBA!”
Me: “Uh…what exactly do they want us to do?”
Mgr: “The –bleep- if I know!”
Me: “Are there any load tests we could use for the staging servers? Maybe it’s only the developer servers.”
DBA: “No, just those 3 developers testing. They could reproduce the slowness on staging, so no need for the load tests.”
Mgr: “Oh my –bleep-ing God!”
4:30 ..one of the vice presidents comes into our area…
VP: “So, do we know what the problem is? John tells me you guys are fixing the problem.”
Mgr: “No, we just heard about the problem half hour ago. DBAs said the database side is fine and the traces look like the bottleneck is on web side of things.”
VP: “Hmm, no, John said the problem is the caching. Aren’t you responsible for that?”
Mgr: “Uh…um…yea, but I don’t think anyone knows what the problem is yet.”
VP: “Well, get the caching problem fixed as soon as possible. Our sales numbers this year hinge on the deployment tomorrow.”
- VP leaves -
Mgr: “I was thinking the same thing. I’ll have networking run a trace.”
4:45 Networking run their trace, and sure enough, there was some relative path of ‘something’ pointing to a local resource not on development, it was waiting/timing out after 30 seconds. Fixed the path and page loaded instantaneously. Network admin walks over..
NetworkAdmin: “We had no idea they were having problems. If they told us last week, we could have identified the issue. Did anyone else think 30 second load time was a bit suspicious?”
4:50 VP walks in (“John” is the web team manager)..
VP: “John said the caching issue is fixed. Great job everyone.”
VP: “But the caching is fixed? Right? John said it was caching. Anyway, great job everyone. We’re going to have a great day tomorrow!”
NetworkAdmin: “Ouch…you feel that?”
Me: “Feel what?”
NetworkAdmin: “That bus John just threw us under.”
Mgr: “Yea, but I think John just saved 3 jobs. Remember that.”4
Yes I believe you’re Google and I will click that link.
I don’t care that IP from that you sent it to me is from some company in India.
Probably Google outsourced it’s email service there.
But wait why is this link pointing to Chinese website?
Ouch you provided some ip under A dns record so let me nmap it...
So there’s bunch of services you have there.
ftp, ssh, msrpc, netbios-ssn, snpp, microsoft-ds, sun-answerbook ...wait what ?
Let me curl that 8888 port.
Oh you have login / password form and it’s pagoda linux panel.
Wait a second I will read about it maybe some default login / password will work...
Ok so maybe I just make a script to brute force it as you wanted to brute force my computer motherfucker.2
Recruiters trying to grab my attention by using my name in the subject line - only they forgot to change it from the previous candidate. Ouch!5
One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).
Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'
This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"
Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best.
Ouch. Friend started at a smallish company (~20 employees), and instead of a new machine he got handed the CEO's 5 year old Dell so the CEO could buy a new machine.
He sees it as no big deal, but am I the only one that sees that as (to put it mildly) a bit of a red flag? It's not the machine itself that's so much of a problem, more the attitude behind the decision that stinks.7
So there I was productivity coding away in my office since early in the morning it was about noon when my coworkers kept saying. " Hey have you seen how nice it is outside." "Wow it's really nice out there" and " hey you should really go outside and get some fresh air".
So I'm all ok, cool it's lunchtime I'll check it out. So I go outside and I'm out there for 30 seconds when a bee lands on my face and stings me just under my eye.
Ouch! WTF! No No No it is not nice outside at all. Infact it is painful outside.
so now the rest of my day is ruined all I can feel is my face throbbing and I can't think about anything anymore but my face in pain. Amazing how one little insect can ruin days of coding.
Don't listen to the muggles stay inside.5
I saw this picture and joked that the guy in the picture is in my pocket? Then I realized the guy is the NSA agent monitoring me. Ouch! Jokes on me...9
So My Employer want me to create an app like spotify+Baidu+Alipay for IOS and Android, and he want the app in the production in two days.
ouch! my health :(19
You know when you can't sleep and think, I'll just do something simple, but useful, it will only take 10 minutes..
How hard can it be to change a CMOS battery in your laptop in this day and age..
Looking on the manufacturers website, it looks piss easy according to the diagrams.
Even a YouTube video, it looks easy..
Meanwhile, in reality..
First off, the CMOS battery I carefully ordered arrives, but its the wrong wiring..
Good thing I checked first right !
Soldering iron time, change those wires around a little.
Now, where did I put that solder..
FX [ Considerable time passes finding it... ]
"Ouch!" burnt my finger !
Right, that's done, now to tape those joints up..
FX [ Runs out of tape.. ]
No problem, must be some more somewhere right..
FX [ Time passes after searching house... ]
Probably some in the garage..
Who needs to get fully dressed, just pop out in your Arthur Dent dressing gown in the rain..
You find some, eventually..
So, that's sorted.
Now, lets open up that laptop and swap the battery over !
Mmm... that's odd, the battery is glued in place..
But in the video it isn't !
No problem, I'll just take the case apart a little..
Lets check that YouTube video first though..
28 screws later, and they still haven't taken the part that covers that CMOS battery..
No problem, I'll just watch the entire video, they are bound to cover it at some point, right..
Ok, lets not take the entire thing apart, when all I have to do is insert a sharp knife and cut the glue away between the battery and, that thing its glued to, without damaging the laptop in a tiny gap I can't really see..
Still, its fun feeling around with a sharp pointy knife inside a laptop, isn't it..
The glue is cut, and the old battery comes out !
Mmm.. lets not bother gluing the new battery in, we'll just stuff it roughly in the same area and hope for the best, after all, this is a desktop laptop, it never goes anywhere, so it shouldn't jiggle loose..
Whilst we are here, lets upgrade the memory.
And try and remember how to seat laptop memory correctly..
Boot to BIOS, load defaults, reboot to BIOS, set time, and other really important things, then reboot, and we get to Windows desktop just fine.
Now change the virtual memory settings to static file, do a defrag, and reboot..
Oh I mean, wait ages for a defrag and then reboot..
That's so we can try and get that lovely pagefile all in one chunk..
Obviously, it won't be finished doing that till tomorrow, or the next day..
Oh look, its already the next day and its the afternoon and I'm still in my dressing gown !
Maybe I'll just have a snooze..5
Finally customized gnome to osx like theme, but ouch light theme hurts my eye! Any other suggestion?7
I think that two criterias are important:
- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind
1) Some simple anti examples:
- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-
2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.
E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.
Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.
When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.
It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo
Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.
Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.
My worst enemies....
Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(
Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.
I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.
Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????6
Update to my previous desire to install Arch Linux on my MacBook...
Well, I installed it, played around a bit... now gonna install OS X back... primary reasons being the fact that there r a lot of things which u must do to get arch to work perfectly in MacBook... ( special kernels and stuff ) and I use an iPhone 😐... in other words, m locked to the ecosystem... for now...
I was so hoping to use arch... it wud have been amazingly fast on the SSD... 😍😍
No m not gonna use VM since it’s not fun 😂😂
Wish iTunes worked in Linux too ☹️😕7
What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.4
Renovated my desktop from light Mac like theme
To dark theme.
Feels so good to return to dark world.
Until now I was not using computer much so it was still a bright world. Now it is dark again3
That feeling when you're finally done with a pretty big PR and ready to go live. You excitedly send it out to a few of your peers, and then... 20 comments! The real work has just begun 😭1
When I need an extra 10 minutes of doing nothing, I hit up my console on full screen, "htop" and leave with the words "ouch, this is gonna take a while".
it's all fun and games ragging on IE until your company decides the app you were making now needs to run perfectly in that browser literal days before it's due.... ouch2
Today I almost burned my hand from touching my (metal) laptop
(Context: I left Rome: Total war running on it while it sat on a bed which meant the fans couldn't cool it and it was heating up because Rome: Total War
Project manager: "we need someone who isn't busy to work on the database for a few weeks"
*Fullscreen picture of Windows blue screen of death*
Me: "what the fuck bug after bug"
Project manager: "ouch you better work on that ASAP we are behind"
I just realised my VPS ssh private key was in my servers web root for the last 4 months. Luckily nobody found it (hopefully).2
In reply to:
Okay, we must first establish common ground here. What do we understand about "showing"? I understand you probably mean displaying/rendering, more abstractly: "obtaining". Good, now we move on.
What's the point of a front-end? Well, in the 90's that used to be an easy answer: to share information (not even in a user-friendly way, per se). Web 2.0 comes, interaction with the website. Uh-oh, suddenly we have to start minding the user. Web 3.0 comes, ouch, now the front-end is a mini-backend. Even tougher, more leaks etc. The ARPAnet was a solution, a front-end that they had built in order to facilitate research document-sharing between universities. Later, it became the inter(national) net(work).
First there was SGML to structure the data (it's a way of making it 'pretty' in a lexicographical way) and turn it into information (which is what information is: data with added semantics) and later there was HTML to structure it even further, yet we all know that its function was not prettification, but rather structure. Later came CSS, to make it pretty. With its growing popularity, the web started to be used as a publishing device.
If we are to solely display JSON data in a pretty way, we may be limiting ourselves to the scenario of rendering pretty web pages using aesthetic languages such as CSS. We must also understand that if we are only focusing on making a website pretty with little to moderate functionality, we aren't really winning. A good website has to be a winner in all aspects, which is why frameworks came into existence, but.. lmao, let's leave that to another discussion.
So, my college notes say:
"Presentation layer: this is the UI.
In this layer you ask the middle tier for information, which gets that information from a database, which then goes back to middle tier, back to presentation. In the case of the headset, the operators can confirm an order is ready. This is essentially the presentation tier again: you're getting information from the middle tier and 'presenting it' as it were.
The presentation layer is in essence the question: how do I bring my application data to my end users in a platform-and solution-independent way?"
What's JSON? A way to transport data between the middle tier and the presentation tier. Is that what frontend development is? Displaying it in a pretty way? I don't think it is, because 'pretty' is an extra feature of obtaining and displaying data. Do we always have to display data in a pretty way? Not necessarily. We could write a front-end script (in NodeJS perhaps) that periodically fetches certain information from a middle-tier is serves a more functional role rather than a rendering one.
The prettification of data was a historical consequence of the popularity of the web (which is a front-end) (see second paragraph with link). Since the essence of a front-end is to obtain information from the back-end (with stress on obtaining), its presentation is not necessarily a defining characteristic of it, but rather an optional and solution-dependent aspect, a facet.4
Ouch - got my first Windows blue screen in years! (Lacking a picture of it, I stole this one from the interwebs)
Cause: The LITE-ON SSD cache drive. So, can't blame MS for this one, but BSODs are great flamebait regardless of cause.
The SSD was 3 years old, which seems a very short life span for an SSD, unless it's an OCZ.2
oh the joy when you find out a graphic designer will make the website layout, witch you have to implement later on...OUCH
When you love to code so much that you get chronic lower back pain 😞 What do you guys and gals do when you get back pain? What is the best way you have found to avoid it?11
Ouch. Difficult decision ahead. Be 30 years old. Have a decent amount of experience on the .net stack.
Ditch it all and go all in on Java EE or continue to pursuit mastery of .net?5
Today I added a recursive string replacement function to my bashrc to replace some words in multiple foles/folders, but instantly regretted it after using it from the wrong path...
> Mister IHateForALiving, we have an automated procedure which downloads files from a website. You should update it and use the new webservice instead.
Sounds cool, just send me the documentation
> Oh yeah, have this example of a request
... Dude, this thing has 10 parameters. None of them are named, and 7 of them are actually nulled. How do I fill this thing?
Oh, ehm... Let's ask the client then!
> NONONONO, we told the client this update was live at least 3 months ago, we can't begin asking questions now
Ouch. How much time do I have to make sense of this mess?
> The new supplier should take charge by the end of the month, I'd like this to be live by Tuesday
Needless to say, it's not going well, but that ain't none of my business1
When I was in my previous company, we used a Jira tag named as 'IE Issue' 😆
The best part is, even clients understood it!
Things that should not go together!
* Using the restroom
* Can be used as a floatation device.
Not going into details, but damn...
The fight is real!2
Its not bad but, fucking hell, finally can catch up on work but burn teh fuk out of my left hand. Scalding coffee grounds, once flung off in pain, take forever to find and clean up. So now Im behind-er than i was and slowed down massively by having to type with 4 fingers and a bandage. Apparently i need a personal barista bc i cant be trusted with hot coffee grounds.1
Anyone here has any good/bad stories with NativeScript? I can't get it working properly no matter what I do on my Mac. Never had this issue before.
Headache, bronchitis, feature creep. But for years I've used light themes. Now I'm using dark themes and it's easier on my eyes. Hmm. Used to hurt my eyes to use dark! Anyway it's about the worst day to try this out because. ..just switched to clients text messages and the "know you're not feeling well but ..." burnt into my retinas bc i didn't think ahead to change any non IDE or dev related to a dark theme.
So I'm finishing my last career class, it's called Web Design. I was really enthusiastic about it, because I've been doing that for almost 5 years. Then the professor wanted us to do a work comparing HTML 4 with 5, ok, that's history, I like history. Then he wanted us to do "Your first website", aahaaam, using just plain HTML and sending the content via .zip. Ouch!
Then I asked if I could do a SPA in React. He doesn't even know what is that. He thought it was an IDE.
I don't feel disappointed, I don't feel angry, I just want to hug him and tell him to study Web Design.
How can a professor in 2019 not know about the trending technologies it's been used to do web design?
Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to do a horrible plain HTML website, and I don't even want to do a "complex" thing for him and then have a 0.7
Ah ffs, its 1 AM and my tube light stopped working all of a sudden.
Climbed on a table to check the tube, the tube didn't glow and I lost balance and BANG! I fell. I hope I didn't wake up dad. Man, I should seriously lose some weight.
I hope I didn't break my laptop. Too scared to check. Plus leg hurts. Bruise.
Feels like I shall have a swell leg in the morning. But again, I wouldn't have to go out. So that's a plus.5
What’s your quarantine side project? I’m learning about map reduce and might build something along those lines7
Sometimes I just code some ugly crap that does the job and create a To Do to revisit it later and try to make it elegant.
When I revisit the code I always can't believe that I thought it was bad.
Seems like my past Me is a better programmer than present Me. Ouch.
My arms are dead, between a LAN party weekend and work + fun Python stuff on the side. I don't know it I can even type right now
Just read the news of chrome webstore shutting down. No new apps, from March 31 (if i'm not mistaken), will be accepted by the webstore. As a frequent user and a developer, it's pretty saddening news. I published a chrome app about 3 months ago and was hoping that large number of people will use it, i don't see that happening now lol! Check it out here if y'all are interested. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...2
holy crap! i really am used to light themed ide. for some reason i played around last time and left it dark. now i just used it for twenty minutes. then i found the color scheme kind of strange and wanted to switch back to good old light theme.
seems i have to get used to the new colour scheme. ouch.
Maybe not specifically "dev" but certainly a relatable rant to anyone here:
Moms small business gets "hacked," or standard spyware phone call from India let us save you for only $149 kind of crap. She obviously gets upset had a panic attack and thinks about all the sensitive shit on their network. Then, ONLY THEN, does she call me and the rest of the cavalry i.e. over payed and undermotivated IT guy to ask what's up why it happened and whose fault is it.
All is well, no ransom paid, no data lost or tangible damage done, but I am positive it will happen again, because it is impossible for people to internalize that they're the problem that money can't fix.
You clicked the unsolicited link. No amount of antivirus bloatware will ever be able to stop the monkey from trying to see what's in the box.
TheBut keep not paying me or people more qualified than me, and then scream and yell and pout when your shits gone and we can honestly say with a grin and a clean conscience that there is nothing we can do.