Vacation in Delphi

Prolog:
After a basic cup of java, I wanted to go to the c and meet Ada, who cured her common lisp with a batch of elixir. On the way, I had a swift Smalltalk with Pascal, who has a brainfuck, because he is a wyvern enthusiast.

I also found a shell with a perl in it, but it had a scratch. This reminded me of my friend Ruby, who has a pet python and loved a good scheme à Shakespeare.

I then started my laptop, which already collected rust on its logo of a maple, and browsed the web for groovy songs. I found a song by Julia, performed in a very high octave in F#.

I am UI developer. The fucking domain model which we have in our project changes very frequently (once in a week (f**k)).

There is one person who is backend developer in this project. I call him TATTI because code he wrotes is "maha tatti".

Now real story,
Whene ever he makes any chnages to, so called, very complex domain model, he even doesn't inform me to reflect changes in UI. So whenever it goes on production, our boss abuse me for not updating UI.

Fucking tatti, just message me what should be changed or not and I really don't understand why they need changes in domain model every week.

F**g cto, decide domain structure first and then tell your team to start implementing it.

Other thing, when ever I ask tatti any doubt about any field is needed to display in UI or not because it is removed or added in domain model, he fucking chutiya starts explaining me whole project instead of just telling yes or no.

I don't care what your fucking backend does. Just tell me what is needed or not. And also he is not sure whether to keep that field or not even he had made that change.

He tells, "ha ye field chahie (after 5 seconds) , nahi wese to hum kahi use nahi kr rhe, ye sirf furture ke liye rkha tha use hta do (after 5 seconds), ek kam kro Mr xyz(another back end developer) se puch lo"

Fuck you maha tatti. And due to this i left that project and switched to other.

It was friday evening and almost everyone in office had left. I was assigned a bug related to some of my code changes. I called my senior to help me debug (has three years of experience, whereas me having only one year exp, who is also a very good friend of mine *always helps in debugging*).
So the code goes

switch (someEnum) {
case One:
doSomething()
// no break
case Two:
t.x = someEnum
break
case Three:
.....
}

I had recently added new enun One and was reciting the code logic to him as we were looking through code.
Him: Hey you haven't set t.x in case One. How did you miss that?
Me: No look, I haven't but a break on it. It will go ahead and set it in next case.
Him: What are you talking about? if the someEnun is One why would it execute Two case. Lets copy that line up there and try it locally.
Me: No no no wait. Are you saying that groovy doesn't need breaks in switch (Me being new to groovy but good with Java).
Him: Why would you need break in switch case even in Java?
Me: *stares at him*
Him: I'm going to execute a psvm right freaking now.
Me: *while he writes the psvm* Why did you think there were breaks in switch in any code?
Him: Shut up. *writes psvm code cursing me everywhere*
*executes code*
No way. Really??
Me: Tell me why do you think are there breaks in switch.
Him: I though they were to get you out of switch block and not execute the default block.
Me: So were you coding switch until now without breaks?
Him: I don't know man. I'm starting to doubt all the switches I have ever written.
Me: Anyway that's not the problem, so moving on.
*a while later*
Him: If a interviewer would ask me how would you rate yourself in Java. I would be like "Well I worked on various projects for 3 years in Java, but didnt know why we put breaks in switch. So you figure it out yourself."

One of the best moments in office.

I shit you not. This this a job qualifications qualifications entry level on LinkedIn.

7+ years working as part of a development team and with the following technologies:
Node.js Typescript and Java-based, microservice-driven applications using Spring Boot or similar framework
RESTful API design / microservice architectures
MongoDB or any other NoSQL DB
Message queues e.g. RabbitMQ, Kafka etc.
Modern MV*(MVC, MVVM, etc..) frameworks e.g. React, Angular, Vue etc.
JavaScript and design patterns, CSS and HTML
Modern CSS and view libraries e.g. RxJS, Angular Material, Typescript, JS ES6 etc.
Unit and UI testing using third party tools e.g. Jest, Cucumber, Groovy & Spock, etc.
Bachelor's degree in computer science or related field

Does anyone feel overwhelmed by all the new technologies? It's like every developer nowadays code in JS, and knows ES6, React, webpack, babel by heart. I have been working in Java for less than a decade and sometimes feel like I can't catch up. Even in Java ecosystem there is now Scala, Groovy, Gradle, Kotlin... Not to mention other languages like Python, Swift... How do you guys have time to pick up everything?? 😖

Me: Complains about lack of community and documentation for Groovy/Grails.

Also Me: Doesn't contribute to community or documentation for Groovy/Grails.

My Team Lead: Hey do you know goofy?

Me: What is it?

TL: It's a new programming language

Me: *being suspicious* show me what are you dealing with

TL: *Shows me a Groovy code snippet*

Me: Yeah!! Your goofy is pretty good!! Enjoy! 😡

Some time ago, I asked DevRanters if you would use US or UK version of word.

Most of you said, whatever.

I just found case for using both :D

I don't get it.
I tried Kotlin on Android just for fun, and it doesn't support binary data handling, not even unsigned types until the newest version. Java suffers from the same disease.
How does one parse and process binary data streams on such a high end system? Not everything is highlevel XML or JSON today.

And it's not only an Android issue.
Python has some support for binary data, and it's powerful, but not comfortable.
I tried Ruby, Groovy, TCL, Perl and Lua, and only Lua let's you access data directly without unnecessary overhead.
C# is also akward when it comes to data types less than the processer register width.

How hard can it be to access and manipulate data in its natural and purest form?
Why do the so called modern programming language ignore this simple aspect that is needed on an everyday basis?

So according to my Business requirements I have learnt Golang, in addition to being comfortable in C,C++,Java, Android. I have also fixed problems in python. Now they want me to learn UI framework including ReactJS. And when I screw that shit wrapped language in my ass, now they have asked me to also get comfortable with Groovy, Geb and Spock for UI automation. Thats being I have just joined 3 months before. I dont even know where my tears have gone. Have they just dried up? Or sucked back by my eyes? My life already sucks and I already question my life decisions to become a software engineer. Its never ending.

- They had an error in production
- Almost one year without looking in this codebase
- Last backend dev in the building
- 1h debugging and reading the Stack Trace
- Had a feeling, and changed the place of a single asterisk (groovy's spread operator in the wrong place)
- Now everything is working, our PM is happy, and the client didn't even noticed
- Probably the shortest commit I've ever done

It was a good day :D

No....... Groovy the discord bot is down and no longer offering services. :(

2 things learnt today:
1. Gradle sucks. There's no saving it.
2. leningen is fucking amazing.

Does anyone actually know how to write Groovy?

So I am a Ruby guy since I don't now when. Probably forever. Lately I have to code Groovy. People are telling me all the time that Groovy is like Ruby. Let me tell you: No! Groovy is not like Ruby. Groovy is shitty Java with a slightly more usable syntax. Nothing more. It is so so tedious to code and reminds me why I stopped coding Java like 8 years ago. The fact that some features resemble Ruby syntax makes it even harder for me because I cannot code and facepalm at the same time. And I automatically type Ruby code all the time because it looks so similar in some places. I don't have that problem with other languages. Just Groovy. And the fact that Java people like it tells me how bad Java really is. It's just dirty. Guys, I feel so dirty now. And showering this morning didn't help. Had to get that off my chest. Thanks for "listening"

Project status: I'm doomed

Coworker: "Take a look at the Groovy module"
Me:

And hours of debugging later, I realized that:
"xyz-" + cond ? "one" : "two"
is different than
"xyz-" + (cond ? "one" : "two")

I hate Groovy truth.

Grails 2.x all groovy syntax for code and configuration. Simple and elegant.

Grails 3.x all groovy syntax except for the main configuration file. Let's make that a YAML file. F#%king genius!

Oh god i hate jenkins so much

Welcome to Jenkins! Enjoy spending hours learning f***ing groovy so your pipeline will work.

While working on a problem my codding partner and I spent far too long trying to figure out why nothing was working with the deployment tool that we where given. The team that maintains the tool told us that all the scripts that we needed to write, to filter and add additional logic to the deployment process, was supposed to be in groovy,

after a couple of hours of having nothing but failed runs, we started poring through the tools official documentation just to find out that the feature we where using used JavaScript instead of groovy. 2 minuets latter everything worked.

The most puzzling thing with the problem is that the code was executing and just having issues with the regular expression that we used on line 20 or so

Everything is shit and I have to work drive thru till 11.15pm.

Everything appears to require js at one point or another (though kotlin requires groovy which, in the intellij IDE, the template it COMES with is fucking broken from the start)

c# could work (and microsoft shop jobs are plentiful) but fucking VS code is a headache and microsoft seems intent on locking everyone into VS and making everything they touch turn to shit, like the king midas of diarrhea (thanks MS, monodevelop is source only on windows). Also c# for android (xamarin) requires apache cordova to do anything, which means...TADA, FUCKING JAVASCRIPT and all the other shit it brings with it.

Java seems like an option, lots of jobs available, but I need netbeans for desktop (javafx) and Android Studio
separately in order to do anything. And Android Studio now uses, of all things...FUCKING GROOVY.

*cocks gunfinger and points in mouth*
why must every fucking thing be it's own DSL and make everything about the fucking ceremony of configuration over
fucking convention?

Haven't any of these fucking cocksuckers heard of MAKE? Or do they just masturbate over how intelligent and smart they are for having reinvented the god damn WHEEL?

I'll see you at the drive through. Will that be all for today?

Good times: Migrating a Jenkins build pipeline patched together out of groovy, python, bash, awk, perl scripts and God knows what else since I have only scratched the surface so far, from Maven to Gradle while not breaking day-to-day builds, integrations and deployments of features, hotfixes and releases. I'm actually enjoying the challenge but it's taking forever due to several issues:
- Jenkins breaks/hangs randomly because it's Jenkins
- Gradle can't handle sets of version ranges but Maven can
- Maven can't handle Gradle style version ranges
- Gradle doesn't have a concept of parent poms, you need to write a plugin and apply stuff programmatically. But plug-ins being part of the buildscript{} don't fall under depency management rules :clap:
- Meme incompatibility issues of BSD vs GNU versions of CLI tools like sed, grep etc

few years ago... Setting up Ellucian's mobile product only to find out they left out where to put the config file (it's not in the typical App_Data directory or root of WAR file) it's in a hard coded spot on the C drive (C:\ellucianmobile\...groovy)
Below is the change request their support team put in to update the documentation...
Their documentation seems to be a bit spotty at times, almost as if they want you to have to pay their support / consultants to setup the products you bought from them

Who else thinks noSQL is addictive.

Which is better for testing with Java ..
Junit Vs groovy-spock

Someone can fucking explain why exists language like groovy?!?! It's the fucking same language of Java, only with few extra features! Why the hell I have to choose groovy over java?

I almost forgot how much I hate Jenkins. What should be a relatively simple deployment with some straightforward bash scripts turns into 500 lines of "clever" groovy code because devs can't help themselves. Add heinously slow execution times and no good way to test anything locally and I officially want to blow my brains out.

Java, Scala, Groovy, Kotlin or Closure? Which do you prefer?

If not Java from those above, can you give an example why?

I'm curious what you guys like. If you're not interested in Java, please stay away, it's not about C++ or any other fancy language.

When Groovy have a documentation page about Java interoperability, but you don't give a shit and with a simply copy-paste from Java the code works

How to write programs on Android 10 that work with files/directories? Have used a number of JVM-based languages like Groovy, Clojure and Kotlin.

My last try was with Groovy. I ran it under Dcoder which has to be cloud-, based as it supports numerous languages. I gave it permission to access storage but got a file not found error from Java. Copied this excerpt for the file path.

import java.io.File

class Example {

static void main(String[] args) {

new File("/storage/emulated/0/read_file.grvy").eachLine {

line -> println "line : $line";

}

}

}
Do I need root? Do I need to change file permissions using Termux? Why can't I find a way to write simple software on a Motorola Super, 3 GB RAM and 8 cores? I hate using a phone for a computer but a seizure has me in a nursing home with only one usable hand.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Had to work with SoapUI and accidentally taught myself Groovy.

I found Groovy a very nice language to work with. I've always wanted to do things with the JVM but still don't fully comprehend Java's OOP and stuffs. In which domain is Groovy used widely or intensively? Would anyone recommend me to learn it further?

If you haven't heard of Plini, go check them out, if you have, they just released a new album. Go listen, it's awesome.

It's like Final Fantasy music, but more groovy than ambient.

We have a huge domain model in Java and something is really fucked up with our equals/hashcode implementations and know body can track it down.

I have suggested Lombok/Groovy several times but they didn't listen.

Anyways it is so fucked up, that map.contains(foo) returns false, although it is part of the map.

So we wrote something like this:

for (Entity e: map.keyset) {
if (foo.equals(e) {
return true;
}
}

Blah..hate IntelliJ spent 3 h to set up a dev env with Adaptavista groovy...Jira total "clusterfuck"

Its been only couple of days with her and m already falling for her 😬😬

She is Groovy
Java was first nd is my ex

*My ex is in my mind all the time*

def list = ['Stark', 'Bolton', 'Lennister', 'Tyrell']
def map = list.collectEntries ({[(list.indexOf(it)): it]})

Learned just enough Groovy to call a Python script and pass args to it. I have no problem with that.

Java and Groovy are like these two daughters, one going to church every Sunday and one listening to Slipknot.

I would not show our JobDsl codebase to any Java developer, (s)he would cry a lot.

Disclaimer: I love open source and I adore the owasp for what they do.

BUT owasp zap has to be the most overly complicated, badly documented tool in existence. As long as one stays within its most basic functions everything is fine, setting it up as a proxy and even issuing a root cert for our test devices worked wonderfully simple.

Then I made the mistake to try to actually do anything with the data we pulled and had to dive into the scripting console.

The documentation basically consists only of "This thing exists", it provides a msg object with no information what it contains or how it's structured, has no code completion and, here comes the kicker, if the script is run and has an error it gets flagged and can't be reenabled after the error is fixed. So I'm currently at forwarder48.groovy trying to simply store the request on a database for possible diagnostics.

So right now I already know that I'll spend most of my vacation next week trying to decipher the source, document it, fix that damn "flagged as error" bullshit and jump through a billion hoops trying to get a pull request through.