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-
windows update code
function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}15 -
We just spent 30 minutes standing around watching Elon Musk launch his car into orbit.
I love working in IT.5 -
> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*5 -
Interviewer: So how long did you work at your last job?
Man: 30 years
Interviewer: and how old are you?
Man: 22 years
Interviewer: you're 22 and you have 30 years of experience that's not possible
Man: and you are looking for a junior dev with 5 years of experience4 -
"10"+20+30 is "102030"
10+"20"+30 is "102030"
But ...
10+20+"30" is "3030"
One must love JavaScript36 -
If I do a job in 30 minutes it’s because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.12
-
Future Teller: Your bad code and unhappy behavior will last till you're 30.
Me[curiously]: and after 30?
FT: You'll get used to it.3 -
Welcome everyone.
Today I signed my first contract!!!
Front end
Part time
I'm 30.
This is still a start13 -
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
if( !condition ) vs. if(condition == false)
Pointless debate started with readability, turned into heated insults under 30 seconds 😂20 -
Got a "Very Dissatisfied" rating from a user because apparently his issue took 30 days to resolve when the fix was applied in 30 minutes. I'm sorry. It took you 30 days to respond to my first email, during which I consistently sent follow-ups to you and your manger and I'm the bad guy?2
-
Dear AAA game developers, if your game ran at 30 FPS on the prior generations and you remaster it but keep it at 30 FPS, there is a special place in hell for you and I'll meet you...6
-
Vacation in Delphi
Prolog:
After a basic cup of java, I wanted to go to the c and meet Ada, who cured her common lisp with a batch of elixir. On the way, I had a swift Smalltalk with Pascal, who has a brainfuck, because he is a wyvern enthusiast.
I also found a shell with a perl in it, but it had a scratch. This reminded me of my friend Ruby, who has a pet python and loved a good scheme à Shakespeare.
I then started my laptop, which already collected rust on its logo of a maple, and browsed the web for groovy songs. I found a song by Julia, performed in a very high octave in F#.4 -
I spent 30 minutes trying to find out why this element wasn't hiding. This isn't a Vue.js project. It's AngularJS.
9 -
My day.
6 am: 2yo woke up
8:30 am: start work (from home)
11 am: go get breakfast/lunch
11:30 am: work call. while driving. Learn nothing new.
12:00 noon: infuriatingly slow errand
12:30 pm: work call. Learn nothing new.
1 pm: finally get to eat. It's cold. And terrible.
6 pm: 2yo finally goes to sleep (missed nap)
9:20 pm: 2yo wakes up screaming.
9:30 pm: find 3 or 4 tablespoons of leftover tuna in the fridge. No bread.
10:45 pm: I finally finish my work (super-urgent friday-morning release of a next-Wednesday-morning deadline... Yeah idfk.)
11:29 pm: 2yo stops yelling and screaming and goes back to sleep
11:39 pm: finish writing this while in bed.
11:40 pm: Sleep?10 -
Company grows a 30% and internet starts getting slow.
Solution from company: Block half of common websites8 -
On June 2016, I've quite my job. 15 years as developer/system administrator in a middle company in switzerland. 30 people with everyday problem. 30 calls per day.
Now, i work in my own company.
More work, no more time, but u know what? No regrets!! I'm freeeeeeee! :p3 -
Managers on Slack at 08:30: Hey frontendJunior, can you accept that meeting for 09:00?
frontendJunior: * No response *
Managers: * Clueless why nobody would see a ping literally 30 minutes before a meeting *
Fullstackclown, watching it all unfold: lol 🤡6 -
2:30 am: Okay, I think I found the bug. I'll try a last compile then I go to bed.
...
4:30 am: sh*t2 -
Today:
9 am - 2:30 pm - customer mtng
2:45 pm - 3:25 pm - team mtng
3:30 pm - 5 pm - sprint planning mtng
Anyone ever literally be in a meeting the WHOLE day? ... 😢 🔫11 -
Windows:
// Find for a solution
crashChecker.findSolution() {
wait(10000);
}
// Close app if pressing letters 30 times in a row, do the same for mouse click event
keyboardEvent.preLoad(countRow, app) {
if (countRow > 30) {
app.whiteOverlay();
app.crash();
app.close();
}
}
commands.kill(pid) {
App app = findByPid(pid);
app.askFor("ALT+F4");
}
// Render a page in IE
internetExplorer.renderPage(content) {
if (content.type == "json") {
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
if (content.type == "html") {
supportedElements.cutByHalf();
if (supportedElements.length > 20) {
bsod(Error.Memory);
} else {
wait(1000 * random());
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
}
commands.shutdown() {
int delay = 0;
if (apps.length) delay = 30;
if (updater.hasUpdates()) delay = updater.length * 40;
maybeShutdown(delay);
}10 -
When you spend all day debugging and another dev comes over and points out the problem in 30 seconds...4
-
So...my company decided to say that I am not effective because not working more than 12 hours per day and work on weekends. But in my contract stated 9:30 - 6:3018
-
256 kbps internet from Iran Telecommiunication Center ISP
i download 50mb archive in 30 minutes
should i suicide ???
21 -
Fucking pigs at my office keep the AC at 26 C with the fan at minimum making it so hard to breathe in this Auschwitz simulator. 😡
Seriously the outside temp will be like 30-35 C and they still don't want the AC :/8 -
Sideproject/side job is getting ready....
30 screens in Sphere for synchronized playback :)
Nucs+ssds+ram
5 -
Coffee at 7 am.
Coffee at 1 pm.
Coffee at 7:30 pm.
Sleep at midnight.
Wake up at 6:30.
Repeat.
Do you have a better procedure for maximising performance?
I have a deadline next Monday...14 -
Please google, stop the recaptcha madness...I'm sitting here for 30 minutes, clicking on road signs10
-
Ever wonder why man prints 'gimme gimme gimme' only at 12:30? https://unix.stackexchange.com/q/...3
-
Manager: we should arrange regular catchups, I have several Monday morning, how about 10:30, that'd be 9:30 your time?
Me inside: dude, we both know I struggle to be up in time for the scrum at 10, do you really think I'm going to be any better at 9:30?
Me outside: How about 10:30 after scrum?
Manager: OK, that works, I have half an hour between meetings
Me: Thank fuck.4 -
Got an 8:30 class in the morning.
Me: so close to fixing this bug. Just a bit more.
12:00 am
Me: I'll just install SQL and head to sleep.
1:00 am
Me: holy crap what time is it.
1:30 am
Me: I hate myself.1 -
analysing a database problem and writing a 4-line fix: 5 minutes.
preparing a foolproof manual for the manager on how to apply the fix: 15 minutes
writing a manager-level explanation what the fix does: 30 minutes.
explaining it to the manager: 30 minutes.
writing a _detailled_ explanation why we need the fix: 60 minutes.
explaining it to the manager again: 30 minutes.
figuring out why our progress is slow:
_priceless_6 -
Spended 30 minutes try to answer a question on stackoverflow, the question deleted just before I posting the answer5
-
today i spent hours doing a 30 seconds task that was neglected for months by a colleague. thanks pal
-
Can we all just take a moment and thoroughly acknowledge the fact that Undertale was basically entirely written, designed and programmed by one guy. And it has almost 30 endings! I don't have the dedication to even reach all 30 endings let alone program them2
-
Am I the only one?
Do {
I want to know EVERY FUCKN SKILL A DEV CAN POSSIBLYHAVE, but I want to know it all NOW..
googling 30 times for tutorials and posts about a topic,
opening 30 tabs,
then spending around 30 seconds on each one ...
Trying 1-2 tutorials,
not understanding why I dont get this shit...
this is stupid
loosing interest in 3..2..1...
Aaand let's try and learn this new skill..
} while(true)
Welp
5 -
so now i have to explain to customers how long a 30 day trial is...
do you guys know maybe, just maybe... HOW LONG A 30 DAY TRIAL IS?!?!?10 -
Got to love Ubisoft web devs.
Their new "30 days of Ubisoft" calendar has the browser download 30 images of closed numbered boxes, 30 images for the hover state of each box and another 30 for the open state. Granted, the images aren't big, but hasn't anybody heard of custom fonts and CSS3?
Oh, and the "surprises" have already been leaked on reddit, gj on keeping hints in the page source.
https://30days.ubi.com/Promotion/...1 -
Dear new devs/me five years ago:
Practice the 30 second rule-- Whatever brilliant thing that your about to say, just think on it for minimum of 30 seconds. Is it still a brilliant idea? Then share. Else trash it 😉 -
Empty your memory,
with a free(),
like a pointer.
If you cast a pointer to an integer,
it becomes the integer.
If you cast a pointer to a struct,
it becomes the struct.
The pointer can crash and can overflow.
Be a pointer my friend.
1 -
Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...
30k READs per minute.
Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?
Metrics : Average : 30 MB
Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?
Metrics : Nop, 30 MB
Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?
Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.
Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?
Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists
Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.
Redis : Why do I exist ?2 -
Been waiting for 30 minutes. Why did I even consider dual booting along side Ubuntu. Should have just kept Ubuntu.
5 -
So excited! My brand new drive finally shows up in the mail today so I naturally want to install it right away.
Power down, install drive, power up.
Windows decided now is the perfect time for an update! 30 minutes and counting....on 84%....for 30 minutes....
FML
1 -
The feeling when you completed all tasks but one in the programming test 😣😩🤪
No, I can't be happy because I could have had 30/302 -
!rant
Going to negotiate my starting salary as a Junior Engineer/Consultant in 30 minutes.
Wish me luck!4 -
3/16: I need a service account for $domain. I've opened a ticket with Subject: please create $account name for $domain and Description: please create $account for $Domain. I need this by 3/23.
3/21: hello?
3/23: hello?
3/28: hello?
3/30: hello?
3/30: yes, hi, is this for $domain or $differentdomain. -
My ISP just called, because I didn't extend my 2 year contract. The reason is that paying 13 euros for 50/30 (Mb) internet when I can get 600/60 from another ISP for 20 euros or 300/30 for 15 euros sucks. Additionally, my current ISP only offers 100/30 at maximum according to their website...
Guess what?
They just offered me 1Gb/100Mb over the phone for a FUCKING 20 EUROS. What???14 -
I've been waking up successfully for two weeks now at 6:30 am thanks to sleeping pills and Melatonin pills I'm taking 30 min. before bedtime.
I will change that to 6am starting today.
Yes, I'm sleeping 8 hours and a half, it feels great!.9 -
Messed up my sleep cycle again! Its 5:30 pm here and I have just woken up. Now the night is going to pass by coding runs, gaming streaks and perhaps a movie. In the morning again I have to be at the office to work. Will have to stay awake for 30 hours or so. FML!3
-
Was using six years old laptop with first gen Intel core i3 to train a neural net, placed the laptop on soft bed, training begins, thermal shutdown after 30-40 iterations(30 minutes).F***.
Now starting again :'|3 -
> 1 hr meeting
> 30 min free
> 30 min meeting
> 3 hour meeting
> 30 min free
> 15 min "check point"
> How hard is concrete from 20 stories?!1 -
Any other 30+ year old developer that didn't start the dev career too long ago and gets completely depressed when surfing on Quora? Reading 100 about "developer career being over after 30" when mine started at 29 isn't too good a motivation23
-
Tomorrow’s schedule:
7am-8: Yoga
8:45-10: Retro
10:15-10:45: Team Meeting
11-11:30: Interview
11:30-Noon: New project meeting
Noon-1pm: Foster care meeting with case worker (monthly check-in)
1pm-1:30: Train co-worker on how to restore databases
2pm-3pm : Onboard new DBA
3:15-4:15: Conference with AWS partner
Yup. I think I’ll complete a perfect zero LOC tomorrow. Oh, I’m also on-call.2 -
Found this today! For someone like me who has 30+ tabs open on an average, this is an absolute gem!
7 -
Today I had to teach a product manager how to use git. It took about 30 minutes to create a proper pull request. Then another 30 to update it when he fucked the change up.
It was a one line change...needless to say I was internally screaming after the first 10 minutes.2 -
For productivity I get to work at 5:30 and code until 8:30 before I open my emails for the first time. That's when my real job starts as a Project Manager (in the throes of teaching himself to code at age 37)3
-
Division of my 8 hour work day:
30% Answering Emails
20% Attending Meetings
40% Troubleshooting Bugs
30% Support Calls
10% Project Management
90% Software Development3 -
End the f*ckin meeting on time! I don’t care if you still have more to say, 30 minutes should be 30 minutes.4
-
Bad day is when you accidentally click OK button on a dialog with label "Set Internet Explorer as default browser"1
-
me: Imma start working on this project I have been putting off for a week
me after messing with the chrome console for 30 mins:
(5&&!2||(5||30=== 9)+(2||3==-1)+(22&&7)+(4||5&&3===4&&2)+(!5||5))*(!3||3)+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+(typeof(()=>{}))[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]2 -
My YouTube recommendations be like
"I am 28 with no friends and girlfriend"
"I am 30 years old with no social life"
"Living as a single guy at 30 years old"
"No friends and no family and left behind in life"
What are you trying to tell me, YouTube?53 -
So i already worked 40 hours this week and i have still 8 more hours to go.
Made a shift from 08:30 till 23:30 and wannabe lead had the guts to tell me i could work from home.
Maybe it's not a bad idea to leave the office.
And fucking quit1 -
Time Wasted: 30 Minutes
Problem: Put the .add(myObject) statement OUTSIDE the for loop.
Solution: Today.Quit() || Coffee.Make();2 -
Why the fuck is my git slower than a lobotomized snail when running a fetch operation on like 30 remotes?!?!9
-
Just spend 7 hours till 2:30 fixing a minor bug.... Disappearing messages... Git commit? 20 lines...2
-
Ran the build today 4:30 and found out our grunt file is missing some pretty critical error checks without even logging a warning. A dependency was unavailable and it was pushed to production. The site was down for 30+ minutes.1
-
Pseudo-flexible working hours suck. I get the "choice" to start work between 7:30-9:30 AM. I'm a night owl so waking up at 6AM is not an option. Why can't they just allow to start at 10AM and finish at 6:30PM? Between 7:30 & 9:30 is peak rush hour and I'm bound to lose 1h30 in traffic for 30km (normally it would take half an hour) and start my workday pissed off.6
-
Started a new job yesterday...
The working hours are from 7:30 - 17:00, which includes a 30 minute lunch break.
I don't know how many times it was repeated that we start at 7:30. And each time in a I'm-joking-but-actually-dead-fucking-serious-so-you-better-have-your-ass-here-by-seven-thirty manner!
Oh yeah... and the drive to work is about 30-40min! 😩4 -
Currently working on a Selenium script to do my timesheet for me. It's been 30 minutes and it still doesn't work because I'm having trouble selecting the input fields correctly (the ID's are dynamic and keep changing!)
It takes me 30 seconds to do it manually.3 -
It started with 30min max per week on spieleaffe (child game site) on our oldish slow HP windows vista machine.
We also had an even older pc at elementary school.
A year or two later I got that family Pc when we got a new laptop for our family.
The following years I had two laptop generations.1 -
Every day: 30 mins trying to remember where I left off the day before. Coding for 5 mins. Interrupted by a colleague. 30 mins trying to remember where I was. And that's my day.
-
When 30 minutes of commuting to work are more valuable.... (me when am almost cracking the cause of the bug)1
-
Lets start the night with Visual Studio Code.
Passed 30 min and github not synced.
Should i kill myself?4 -
Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL8
-
That feeling when projects start moving forward after mindlessly arguing about them the past 30 days.
-
So I got a 5 day extension on a project (new due date: this morning 8:30) but I had to put my cat down over the weekend and I was so fucked up about it I couldn’t do any work so last night I was frantically trying to finish but I got to the point where I couldn’t think straight so I went to bed and set my alarm for 6.
It’s 7:30 now and I truly don’t think I’ll finish in time for 8:30. I’ve already got a way longer extension than I asked for, so I don’t want to give him any more “excuses”, so I’m torn between just submitting late probably like 10am or just submitting whatever I have at 8:303 -
For anyone interested.
Google is doing a 30 days of Flutter event where you can access curated content from the Flutter team and join live AMAs with Google’s Flutter Team.
https://events.withgoogle.com/30-da...2 -
Last time I worked with SVN was in 2014. Today I cloned a project, 30 minutes still downloading files.....1
-
11:30 working hours logged for today. Went against the #NoDeploymentFriday rule. Fingers crossed 🤞 for the weekend
-
Going through the stacktrace of my 30 line of Tensorflow code, made me surf almost 20 different library source codes.
-
Oh this looks like an interesting 10 min Nodejs tutorial on utube!
*30 minutes of fighting modules installation*2 -
they're having me log my time in 30 minute increments, with each 30 minute block assigned to a jira ticket, as well as keeping track of my slack status throughout the day3
-
I'm doing freelancing.
One client hires me for 30 hours/week.
And I'm are getting work irregular.
Like
1 week is full of 30 hour
1 week just 10 hours.
1 week 20 hour.
What should I do?
I try to get other project but most of are For a full time.
One Client hires me but at that time the previous client gave me a full 30 hour's work so the new client could not get enough time and gave me low ratings because of time wasting.
I'm afraid that can happen again.3 -
Making a 30 second change and then waiting 20 minutes to test it... <F5 Refresh, Maven Update, Project Clean, Republish>
-
Please look at this code, I wanna know why the $ and {} was added to the alert method to pop up the key and value of user.
what is their functionality there?
let user = {
name: "John",
age: 30
};
// loop over keys-and-values
for (let [key, value] of Object.entries(user)) {
alert(`${key}:${value}`); // name:John, then age:30
}4 -
Saturday morning 9:30. Alright, let's crack this case. Automated PG backups of DB in a docker swarm attempt 5.
-
The problem with 10:30 pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30 am if you are not careful !2
-
I'm starting a 30 days of code + technical articles challenge
Stay tuned for flames 🔥
I'll be blogging about it on https://dev.to
https://dev.to/jordanirabor/... -
Just wanted to share this gem with the community here. Best 30 mins ever spent 😆
Kung Fury
https://youtu.be/bS5P_LAqiVg
. -
It was 11:30 pm, started working a small feature telling myself "This will only last 30 minutes".
Next time I looked at the time it was 7:30 am and sun was shining through my curtains. -
So I texted my wife a picture of me winking and smiling.
I annotated the photo with: "Proverbs 16:30"3 -
I just found out that most developers make their first million by age 30.
...syntax errors that is.😉1 -
!rant So as I have posted before that I decided to give python a lash and I'm actually really enjoying it. I'm now doing an app everyday on python for 30 days. Yesterday I made a CLI app that shows the weather in an area (thanks open weater) now today I was thinking of doing another a to do app using mysqlite but I feel its kinda been overdone, I'm sure ye all know what I'm talking about. Have any of ye have any ideas of little apps I could do?2
-
How my day goes....
- 8:00 am: get to office
- 8-8:30: check all social apps(devrant,telegram,discord,whatsapp,linkedin)
8:30-10am: watch tutorial videos, reading some books
10-11am: break
11-1pm: tutorials
1pm-1:30pm: lunch
1:30-2pm: social apps again
3pm: lockdown rules kick in i head home
👨💻 👨💻 👨💻2 -
Why the limitation to only see 30 +1 posts listed via a profile while using devRant on a desktop @dfox?1
-
#include <stdio.h>
/*
* Windows Update Algorithm
*/
int main()
{
int percent = 1;
while (percent <= 100) {
printf("Working on updates\n");
printf("%i %% complete\n", percent);
printf("Don't turn off your computer\n\n");
if (percent == 30) {
printf("Restarting\n");
break;
}
percent++;
}
return 0;
} -
Dammit! CSS is such a huge pain in the ass. I just want to use a <style> tag inline with a class to control margin positioning of one friggin’ image. (Yes, I know it’s better in a CSS file but this is a temp fix that will be reverted soon.)
<style>
.30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
<img class=“30-day-seal” src=/path/to/img.png”/>
Nothing happens. Only if I use a style=“” attribute directly in the img tag.
I’ve even tried:
<style>
img.30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
And
<style>
.30-day-seal img {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
And even
<style>
img .30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
Why do I suck so bad at this?! Still!?6 -
Trying to do something "particular"on linux. Prepare yourself to have 30+ tabs of browsing opened.
BUT ! it's strating to work ! (I'm doint some bizzare SQL stuf to speed up my DataBase deployment in local and be able to get a fresh copy of production in under 30 seconds)
https://imgur.com/a/HJzHYQ88 -
found this interesting snippet tool for all javascript devs out there: https://github.com/30-seconds/...
found it useful! -
Me and my High school crush
[20:26, 22/04/2020] Chichiy: So hwz been the day?
[20:29, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Day good
[20:30, 22/04/2020] Softaz: I feel married to my pc now
[20:30, 22/04/2020] Chichiy: Lol you were already engaged
[20:33, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 😂😂14 -
Ever been hit so bad by a bug that you check the time hoping to knock off in the next 10 minutes, only to realize its 7:30 AM. I have been at work for 30 min! *SLAMS KEYBOARD*
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