AboutIf you want to know something about me just ask ;)
SkillsJS, CSS, C# (.Net & . Net Core), Elixir, a lot of rather random stuff
LocationNorth Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
Joined devRant on 5/18/2018
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Have you ever checked your Teams logs??!
It even logs mouse/keyboard and window activity...
And reports it to your employer with fucking colorfull dashboards. Fuck them...24
"FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off."
I think the world needed this14
What exactly is a junior developer?
I mean what it depends on?
I ask because some colleagues have told I'm not junior but I have a junior role at my company
I don't even care and I don't like these classifications of devs but when someone asks me if I'm junior I actually don't know what to answer
I thought it was getting crazy when I read about ninja developer role but let's not talk about it
PS: I have been coding for 5 years now if it matters29
I go to unlock my car, but the button I usually use is gone. Instead now it unlocks by long-pressing the car handle.
Ok, got it.
Then my ignition isn't there? Oh, it's in the middle of the steering wheel now? Ok.. but it doesn't work? Oh I have to sign in with Google or Facebook, alright...
Wait, where's my odometer? Oh this is "card" view, and I guess I want "compact" view, huh. Is there a dark theme? Guess not.
Why can't I shift? Oh the stick is a hamburger button now, weird. Um, and reverse is in a sub-menu? That's going to get annoying.
Alright just need to look in the mirror to see if.. wtf? You call this "responsive" or something? I can't see out that tiny window.
I'm very disappointed in all this, I wonder if I can roll back. Oh WHERE ARE THE BRAKES OH GOD
WHY DID WE TRUST THEM AND THEIR GODFORSAKEN UPDATES10
Just found out my phone (stock, no root) has user-settable minimum DPI? The battery saver thing drops the DPI some and auto-adjusts the DPI and resolution to save power, but I didn't know I could set it... (Minimum 320 DPI, max 960 DPI)6
One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.
On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).
Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.
I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".
Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.
There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.
Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).26
The room automation (light, doors, music) of a "smart" Hotel owned by our company is still being processed by an API that runs on one of my ex-colleagues local machine. It has now officially been declared as a "server" and everyone just hopes it keeps working.8
Ohai, a few devRanters (including me) have been working on planning a Dutch devRant meetup once again.
Although we're quite late with the "announcement", hereby!
It'll happen upcoming Saturday in Nijmegen (at least one German living person is coming as well and some people wanted to see it anyways so that's why).
Here's a collab edit thingy where you can put your name if you're coming!:
http://collabedit.com/wmj25 (yes, no https, I'm aware, I didn't chose this one but for now it works)
I'll mention some dutchies in the comments :)
Looking forward to upcoming Saturday :D49
!dev, still a rant(ish) thingy..
TLDR: long day, had a brain fart, forgot I was married
Long(er) story: Came home from work, late as usual this week..tired.. talking with my husband about our days..
He was picking up sth from the store and goes on saying what the saleslady said: Your wife will sure like it..
>> mid sentence screaming interruption <<
My mouth: You're married?! WTF?!
My brain: & why is this the first time I hear about thi.. oh..
Mouth: OMG, I'm sooo soooo sorry!!!
I love my husband ♡ but my head is still trying to adjust to the last name change & promotion from boyfriend/partner to husband.. In my defense, he forgets it too sometimes.. but always only the titles, not the other important parts that count!8
*places an order on OnePlus' website for that OP6T*
Alright, payment.. with my bpaid card that I ranted about earlier, because apparently the fuckers accept only credit cards. External payment portal, card's got a chip.. well that's gotta be the same payment process as the usual Bancontact purchases then, right? Where you plug your card into your Digipass card reader, get a start code from the website, type that in, amount to be paid, PIN code, and then it spits out another code that you give to the payment portal.
Except it isn't. That CVC thing is apparently the only thing that stands between you using your card and someone else doing the same with your card information. Not even the card itself! Why the FUCK do we even have PIN codes then?! This is even worse than the magstripe and the skimming issues related to it (the magstripe essentially just blurts out your card information to whatever wants to have it, so demagnetize it and don't use the payment terminals who refuse your card on grounds of not being able to read the magstripe afterwards. Your chip should be responsible for that.. but I digress). Credit cards with chips in it that aren't even used. That's what you Americans use? Seriously?!
At this rate, you can keep your fucking credit cards.10
Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
Im a Software Engineer from Germany. I've just heard that delevopers are much better paid in the US compared to Europe. In Europe/Germany i would get about 40k a year as Somebody who just finished university(bachelor degree). Can somebody confirm that ? You dont have to Post your exact income :P just Let me know if that's True, because i am Thinking about going to Work in the US in a few Years ..maybe some of you have german Friends in the US it Industry ? :)
Thanks for the answers.18
Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:
practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team
It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.
So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:
- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
So lets look at some example of their work:
- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"
- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"
- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"
- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.
- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"
Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them
Thats all the time we have for today,
Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:
- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead
See you all next week,
Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"
Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"
Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."
Almond: "How do you mean?"
Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"
Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.
😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.
🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.
🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.
🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢13
Seriously, just how exponentially fucked did this world just become.
I'm pretty sure that this post's format would be more tailored towards devrant.com (well, hereby). But I wanted to vent about it, here, now.
A copy of this post is available at https://facebook.com/irc.condor/....
Just the other day the EU Parliament accepted that widely disapproved copyright directive - article 11 and 13. Despite direct lobbying on our end. And by whom? Not by young, competent parties like the Pirates. No, instead the old fucks from the conservative party had their say, driven by nothing but incompetence and lobbying from label companies.
Then the whole ordeal with the Master/slave issue in Python started. Again met with significant outrage - and again approved while completely ignoring the voices of everyone else. I even ended up making a fork for it at https://github.com/toloveru/cpython. Please star it to show your support for the cause. It is made in response to a denied revert at https://github.com/python/cpython/....
And then we had the issue of Linus Torvalds leaving the Linux project. The single most important person when it comes to Linux.. and he left, just because he admits to be an asshole - something which apparently needs to be changed?! Dude, be a fucking asshole! That's what made the Linux kernel great in the first place!!! Yet even you give in to those SJW cunts?!!
AND THEN... If Linus' disappearance wasn't enough already, core developer at the LLVM project Rafael Avila de Espindola leaves the project as well, because of an influx of SJW's and political correctness.
It started with feminism in the past century. Now it's superiority and pink-/blue-haired warriors going for OUR SUPERIORITY AND UNIQUENESS and being offended by whatever they can possibly get offended with. Fucking cunts they are. You heard that right. FUCKING CUNTS!!! Because yeah, in my house I swear like that. Anyone who doesn't like that can fuck right off.
But what good does my criticism towards all this still serve.. nothing, does it. Those live wires that I've avoided touching for so long.. they suddenly don't feel all that repulsive anymore. Thanks society!24
When you finally snap at your PM for setting every deadline to "As soon as possible":
SAY. ASAP..ONE. MORE. TIME.4
Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.
No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.
Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.
I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.42
*Rules For Work*
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.