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Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.
I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(
We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.
Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.
Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.
This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.
After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.
In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.
Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.
After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.
Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.20 -
My girlfriends mom asked whether I could fix her coworkers laptop. She claimed that it had viruses installed and laptop is laggy..
So... I got that laptop just now, got home and turned it on. It doesn't have WiFi drivers installed and I do not have any free Ethernet cable right now.
About the lags... Well you won't believe how many custom tool bars and security programs there were. McAffe, AVG, ESET and some Russian made firewall which asks for license key every 5mins.
And she asked me to reinstall windows and keep every file of hers, and she didn't bother to point which files of 300gb of photos/videos/docs are worth keeping and which are not.. HDD is 300GB :A fuck me
P. S. Since it's my first rant I can say ranting helps a lot to calm down23 -
Today we had a yearly company photoshoot... Fucking hate it..
Anyhow, the guy walked around office to take pictures of us in 'action'. However as a precaution he couldn't take pictures of the source code... So I was like:
17 -
A new way of making bad commits:
alias fuckit='git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'
Its like Russian roulette with commit messages!24 -
A dude with a THICK Russian accent just called me offering server security services.
After I politely declined, he insisted on a free audit of my servers. I declined that as well.
Now I’m backing up our DB’s and going through my nginx logs.
Am I being racist?19 -
Kids, dont try this at home.
[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *CLICK*
A.K.A terminal russian roulette.12 -
Me: chooses English for language, French for keyboard (because that's what my keyboard happens to be), speaks Dutch natively
Windows: oh great! You've told me to display everything in Windows in English. So I'll just show you the Windows store in Dutch, French and English (edit, and Russian in one of the Store tabs, for God knows why), all at once! Because who cares about your language settings anyway, right. You appear to be from Belgium from your IP, so obviously you speak both of these languages despite your personal preferences. Additionally, have some Candy Crush Soda Saga that you've never asked for.
And the application that you wanted to install - Ubuntu? Fuck you, you can't install it, for "reasons" that we've conveniently put in French, because you obviously speak that, right.
HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING GO FUCK YOURSELF, MICROSOFT?!17 -
Story time.
Not sure it counts as data loss, more temporary corruption (and in my own brain).
> be me.
> be clinically depressed
> be recently out of an awful breakup
> recently nearly committed suicide by train
> be bored and lonely one night
> take lsd
> feel fine
> go to McDonald’s
> feel fine
> while eating question the nature of reality
> become convinced I’m an observer of a cosmic story and cannot die
> go outside in only jeans
> run in traffic at 1AM to prove my point
> don’t die
> run around the streets more sure of my new reality than I’d ever been of anything
> feel free and no longer sad
> walk around observing the world
> sit on wall and wonder why the story had the structure I was observing
> fall off wall into grass and mud
> follow cute guy into apartment building
> follow into lift
> ask what everything means
> spend better part of couple hours in lift pressing emergency button asking for help
> get no response
> scare poor Russian lady that gets into lift and finds an overweight topless man on the floor babbling incoherently
> ride to top floor
> get out
> sit on leather chair in corridor
> feelsnice.tiff
> decide I’m actualising my desires and reality
> don’t realise this is just the trip wearing off and consciousness exerting more control
> walk into random apartment (door is unlocked because why wouldn’t it be for the god that I believe I am at this point)
> explore
> gorgeous apartment
> realise it’s a family apartment from clothes in hallway and items
> find bathroom
> decide I want a bubble bath
> run bubble bath
> can’t work out how to drain water. Bath now full of twigs and mud #sorry
> decide that I’d like to go home, or onto my next adventure. Hopefully the seaside as I’m now realising I have more control.
> open bathroom door
> not the seaside. Ah well. Try to walk home
> walk home wrapped in fluffy towel from nice family’s apartment
> get home
> realise what had happened
> throw remaining drugs away
> sit and rock in utter paranoia and guilt for hours until flatmate wakes up.
MFW first bad trip ever.
MFW I wonder whether that family knew I was there and were scared / discovered the mess in the bathroom the next morning and not knowing which is worse.
MFW I still have the towel because it’s fluffy AF.
The moral of the story kids, is that when it comes to the OS rattling around in your brain, installing a virus that is sensitive to what apps you have running is a bad idea when those apps make the virus go to fucking town.
Terrible analogy I know, but fuck it.29 -
Me and my father at breakfast.
Me: Do you wanna play Russian Roulette?
Father: I boot up Windows every day. I already live the risky life.3 -
You know you're fucked when google returns less than a page of results on your short three word query. The first result is the only question on SO related to your problem un-answered for two years and the rest of them are in Chinese or Russian.8
-
There is a russian cartoon called Fixiks (“Фиксики”, tiny fixers) which is about tiny creatures that live inside tech and fix it when it breaks without the owner knowing. This is a fun, family-friendly cartoon rated 3+ filled with approachable explanations of how does common tech stuff around us work: TVs, washing machines, etc.
However, there is one weird, super grim episode about one such creature who forgot to leave a TV he was living inside that is being thrown away and ending up on the scrapyard.
Having no choice but to follow his purpose, he becomes obsessive trying to fix an endless amount of broken tech there, with new broken stuff being delivered to that scrapyard every moment. After a while, he completely loses his sanity.
That episode displays what seems like a weird mix of schizophrenia and OCD. Having a psychological trauma he fails to recognize the rescue team of his own kind, attacking them. He loses his ability to talk, resorting to random screams of aggression.
This episode doesn’t really feature even a single explanation of how something works. It just is there somehow among the episodes of a casual, happy cartoon for children.
Needless to say, this is my favorite episode.12 -
Got some customers not paying their bills?
Play russian roulette with these projects on the prod. server:
# [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /<path_to_project> || echo "*click*"9 -
Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"3 -
In few hours I was with client showing his website after long time coding and designing.
Client: I think this is it, here your final $$
Me: Me thanks sir and bye
A guy came in.
Client: Oh! Wait, this guy is our it expert let see if he have any advise.
Me: Oops! Okay
Guy: So this website will showcase our products
Me: Yes,
Guy: What about security because I just got news that Russian hacked one big company.
Me: I don’t think Russian have time to hack your one page website
Out of the door...3 -
Israeli government hackers hacked into Kaspersky’s network in 2015 and caught Russian government hackers red-handed hacking US government hackers with the help of Kaspersky.
In other words — Russia spying on America, Israel spying on Russia and America spying on everyone.10 -
This is what I found in the logs:
3280546 I had a cup of tea and now it's fixed
9daaf6c copy and paste is not a design pattern
958ca5b It compiles! Ship it!
a9edf8d LAST time, Masahiro, /dev/urandom IS NOT a variable name generator...
438072f 640K ought to be enough for anybody
1fb839b Too lazy to write descriptive message
4d70890 ...
d6ce0c8 Ugh. Bad rebase.
a00b544 Programming the flux capacitor
49715cb Fix my stupidness
4babf07 Do things better, faster, stronger
49b3a7b SEXY RUSSIAN CODES WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL
12c7b55 formatted all
2658c87 and so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
2376c89 - Temporary commit.
a83220a I honestly wish I could remember what was going on here...
3347007 work in progress
3382b4c well crap.
109748a Glue. Match sticks. Paper. Build script!
c3f025e Useful text
70394e7 Who knows WTF?!
0d78f14 breathe, =, breathe
5344e39 removed tests since i can't make them green
8a3a6bf better grepping
2777cc4 first blush
cf620ff Continued development...
9591c19 Too lazy to write descriptive message
767e0cd Some shit.
763602a Yes, I was being sarcastic.
8d7a602 /sigh
c6296e5 rats4 -
I curb procrastination by throwing in a random "sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /" to my test cases to see if I have unsafe evals. It's like Russian Roulette every test.
1 -
Man do I love receiving bug reports and comments in Turkish, Russian, Portuguese or Iranian. I should really just start replying to those in Polish.
I added a humorous pinned post saying “By the way, I can only reply to you either in English, Polish or Dutch :)” to the program where I receive such reports.
I am aware it won’t do jackshit, because people can’t read.
Kurwa.10 -
Been trying to debug a problem this whole morning.. Gave up, went outside for a smoke.. Came back and bug is no where to be found...9
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Two years ago I moved to Dublin with my wife (we met on tour while we were both working in music) as visa laws in the UK didn’t allow me to support the visa of a Russian national on a freelance artists salary.
After we came to Dublin I was playing a lot to pay rent (major rental crisis here), I play(ed) Double Bass which is a physically intensive instrument and through overworking caused a long term injury to my forearm which prevents me playing.
Luckily my wife was able to start working in Community Operations for the big tech companies here (not an amazing job and I want her to be able to stop).
Anyway, I was a bit stuck with what step to take next as my entire career had been driven by the passion to master an art that I was very committed to. It gave me joy and meaning.
I was working as hard as I could with a clear vision but no clear path available to get there, then by chance the opportunity came to study a Higher Diploma qualification in Data Science/Analysis (I have some experience handling music licensing for tech startups and an MA with components in music analysis, which I spun into a narrative). Seemed like a ‘smart’ thing to do to do pick up a ‘respectable’ qualification, if I can’t play any more.
The programme had a strong programming element and I really enjoyed that part. The heavy statistics/algebra element was difficult but as my Python programming improved, I was able to write and utilise codebase to streamline the work, and I started to pull ahead of the class. I put in more and more time to programming and studied personally far beyond the requirements of the programme (scored some of the highest academic grades I’ve ever achieved). I picked up a confident level of Bash, SQL, Cypher (Neo4j), proficiency with libraries like pandas, scikit-learn as well as R things like ggplot. I’m almost at the end of the course now and I’m currently lecturing evening classes at the university as a paid professional, teaching Graph Database theory and implementation of Neo4j using Python. I’m co-writing a thesis on Machine Learning in The Creative Process (with faculty members) to be published by the institute. My confidence in programming grew and grew and with that platform to lift me, I pulled away from the class further and further.
I felt lost for a while, but I’ve found my new passion. I feel the drive to master the craft, the desire to create, to refine and to explore.
I’m going to write a Thesis with a strong focus on programmatic implementation and then try and take a programming related position and build from there. I’m excited to become a professional in this field. It might take time and not be easy, but I’ve already mastered one craft in life to the highest levels of expertise (and tutored it for almost 10 years). I’m 30 now and no expert (yet), but am well beyond beginner. I know how to learn and self study effectively.
The future is exciting and I’ve discovered my new art! (I’m also performing live these days with ‘TidalCycles’! (Haskell pattern syntax for music performance).
Hey all! I’m new on devRant!12 -
HR: Hey you really need to be more sensitive with what you say
Dev: What makes you bring this up?
HR: Well we had a concerned employee overhear you telling one of the interns that the Russian word for “approved” is “blyat”.
Dev: Ah.14 -
In an alternate universe, Soviet Russia won the Race to the moon, the Cold War wasn't actually "Cold". And Russia took all of America's technology. Changed the programming languages to Russian. You're now forced to code in Russian.
Write about what you'd do, Comrade.
26 -
How real men play Russian roulette:
realman@root:~$
[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /* || echo *click*7 -
[shit energiya] (щит энергия) — is “shield energy” in Russian. This is what happens when you transliterate carelessly
8 -
I think I will ship a free open-source messenger with end-to-end encryption soon.
With zero maintenance cost, it’ll be awesome to watch it grow and become popular or remain unknown and become an everlasting portfolio project.
So I created Heroku account with free NodeJS dyno ($0/mo), set up UptimeRobot for it to not fall asleep ($0/mo), plugged in MongoDB (around 700mb for free) and Redis for api rate limiting (30 mb of ram for free, enough if I’m going to purge the whole database each three seconds, and there’ll be only api hit counters), set up GitHub auto deployment.
So, backend will be in nodejs, cryptico will manage private/public keys stuff, express will be responsible for api, I also decided to plug in Helmet and Sqreen, just to be sure.
Actual data will be stored in mongo, rate limit counters – in redis.
Frontend will probably be implemented in React, hosted for free at GitHub pages. I also can attach a custom domain there, let’s see if I can attach it to Freenom garbage.
So, here we go, starting up modern nosql-nodejs-react application completely for free.
If it blasts off, I’m moving to Clojure + Cassandra for backend.
And the last thing. It’ll be end-to-end encrypted. That means if it blasts off, it will probably attract evil russian government. They’ll want me to give him keys. It’ll be impossible, you know. But they doesn’t accept that answer. So if I accidentally stop posting there, please tell my girl that I love her and I’m probably dead or captured28 -
I got a friend who likes to travel randomly to random places.. he now found some dudes who share this hobby.
So now there is a thing running on my server ticking everyday, 10am, with a 1:150 probability to send a sms to 7 numbers (including me) which tells them to travel to budapest.
FYI: he and his friends study engineering, i study too. So 1:150 may sound pretty low at first but we don't have that much time over the year actually.:D
Russian Roulette Travelling is a thing now.😁11 -
I think this is so far one of the most priceless WTF moments I encountered at my current work:
A coworker of mine came up to me explaining the problem he had with russian characters in the filename. He explained in detail that everything works ok (the other part of the code he was fixing) if he changes the name of the file to test1.xlsx for example which doesn't use russian characters. OK great.
Then he goes on to show me how he fixed the other stuff and of course everything blows up. The file he used for demonstration was of course the original file our cusotomer provided, he just deleted the obvious russian chars and left the rest.
МТС != MTC
I cracked up: but you still have russian chars in the name.
The guy: no way, I deleted them all.
Me: but what about that МТС in the name?! Guy: what about it?
Me: did you actually typed that in or you left it there?! Those are russian chars that are fucking things up for you.
Guy: no way, it's MTC.
Me: checked the logs, you have ??? In the filename instead of МТС..don't you find that at least a little bit suspicious?!
Guy: but it looks the same. How does it (the computer) know it is in russian?!? //Why doesn't it understand?!
O.o I still can't believe it.. Is it just me & my high standards, or should it be normal for coders to know things such as character encoding & stuff?!?
I almost died of laughter, he and some other guy had problems finding customers in the software due to not being able to type the russian chars << happened more then once before, even after I told them about a quick hack on how to use google translate onboard keyboard & other stuff to make proper chars so they can get a match..
I think when they bury me, I'll still be facepalming and laughing over this incident. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣7 -
Never thought I will be hired by Chinese software/hardware company located in NYC to code in languages I don't know so well. Instead of lying and saying I know everything about C, PHP and SQL, I said that I suck pretty much at everything, but I'm a quick learner and will study day and night to catch up with their practices. Now I see they have no regret about me, but I still suspect them in hiring me because there is another guy who is Russian too and we all communicate well. Our current squad is 17 Chinese, 2 Russians, 1 Americans. Guess what, I learn Mandarin quicker than PHP. Sometimes a small lie is OK, but sometimes honesty is better.3
-
Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.
I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!
What do you think?
P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment
8 -
Found my spiritual animal:
- a cat
- Russian
- engineer
- smokes
- looks like he went through some shit
5 -
I just love when someone writes variables in Polish/German/Russian/Chinese/Esperanto/Klingon or any other language that is not an English32
-
My boss is Russian and he sits right next to me. He often talks to himself in Russian (while typing furiously). makes me think he is casting a spell for his code to attack. lol
13 -
I just had a rather stressful morning. I should've known something was up by the sounds of thunder as I walked into the office.
I sat down and checked my emails. There was an email from the boss who was away on a business trip. The subject read, "CRITICAL BUG" and my name was mentioned. "Great...No time for coffee", was my first thought.
I began searching commits to see when and how the bug came to be. "SHIT! It was my fault", I said aloud.
(A bit of backstory, I am Irish, working in Germany with a B2 level of the German language.)
I now had to communicate the problem quickly with a senior developer who is Russian. He can't speak English well and I would not expect him to speak it. We are in Germany after all. I tried my best to communicate the issue, but I found it so difficult to understand his German in a Russian accent. Normally, in the office I speak German except when it is urgent and I must explain a problem in greater detail through English. I got past that obstacle, however, the real challenge of fixing the bug awaited.
After 2 hours of coding, I had a solution and committed it to the master branch. All the while, I had been replying to the bosses emails with updates, probably with many grammer mistakes.
We have no dedicated testers here and the code is written in a way which makes it very difficult to test (i.e. it was written many years ago). When I had initially written the code, I tested rigorously and found no issues.
Just needed to rant. I need a coffee break now...4 -
Me: Can you lift an elephant with one hand?
Bing: You really can't because even the strongest human cannot lift an elephant that has one hand.
Yahoo: Elephant FC vs Oklahoma City - today 15:00GMT.
Baidu: 你不能 你不能 that is how you can.
Yandex.ru: Americans killed the Elephant whilst pointing hands at Russian spy.
DuckDuckGo: Elephants have privacies too and lifting one can bridge DDG policies.
Ask.com: Lifting an elephant is a Metaphor.
AOL.com: No result yet. Subscribe to our Newsletter to get latest updates.
Google: (google.com) wants to access your location.5 -
On March 10th russian government tried to block or at least slow down twitter because twitter refused to delete some posts that russian govt wanted to be deleted.
Things that were down that day in russia:
- rostelecom (largest russian isp)
- FSB (russian CIA)
- SKRF (russian FBI)
- RKN (russian FBI but for internet control)
- gosuslugi (basically the govt website for all utilities imaginable including but not limited to medical help, taxes, passports, everything)
- kremlin website
Things that were up that day in russia, operating at a regular speed:
- twitter2 -
The brief history of Facebook open source:
- FB releases React under an oppressive licence that tells "woopsie, can't sue FB if you use React"
- a lot of money goes into making React popular to gain leverage from mass adoption
- VMware bans React in their company
- FB releases Flux to bring state management. It flops. Replaced by what some Russian student wrote in several evenings (Redux)
- Preact is released. It's faster than React, and it has MIT licence. Vue beats React in GitHub stars.
- Under mass pressure, FB changes React's licence to MIT. Initial plan to gain leverage fails spectacularly.
- FB releases Flow Types. It flops. Replaced by TypeScript.
- FB releases their own app market for React Native. It flops.
- FB releases Relay. It flops. Replaced by Apollo.
- FB tries to push React.Suspense for the whole JS landscape to obey and comply to how it works. Community says "Fuck You".
- FB releases react-native-web. It flops.
- Web Components are out in all browsers, adopted as a standard. React doesn't support them.
- Google releases Lit, a virtual DOM framework on top of Web Components to fuck with React. It's a massive success.
- React 18 is out. Still no Web Components support.
- (you are here)16 -
Sober, jogging and lifting again. Working steady. Back to hiking and songwriting which I gave up on a couple years ago. Feeling more productive, happy, clear headed and calmer than I've been in two years. And the amount of attention I'm getting from the opposite sex lately has been crazy.
Joined a church, though I'm not mega into organized religion or anything. Looking for a backing pianist and vocalist to help record my songs. Back to studying math, learning Russian, and working on my game in between.
The only thing I'm not getting a lot of at the moment is sleep.
Feels good man.16 -
Hiring junior devs is a game of Russian roulette.
You can get some one who is smart and loves coding. In this case stack, limitations etc don’t matter and experience will be great for junior and the rest of the team
Or it will be a lazy person who watched 5 videos and think to be better than everyone else. 95% of juniors are these fuckers. Takes about 1 week to find out and fire… which starts the 3 months recruiting loop again.18 -
thought I'd type:netstat -atn on my server and the result was a bit scary, found a Russian IP address with state of: FIN_WAIT1
Either Fail2ban was closing his connection or that dude was able to access my server :/
Checked /var/log/auth.log
and found this for his IP: Failed password for root from ----- port 37635 ssh2
I hope I'm still safe :)
Instantly disable password login and make it only SSH
but now I need to carry my SSH keys or else I'm blocked out lol9 -
me : Why are fire trucks red?
Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)
😳😳😳6 -
This is a program of the Russian TV channel called CTC on 9th of May. From top to bottom:
- Shrek
- Shrek 2
- Shrek the Third
- A minute of silence for those who fell in the fight with the fascism
- Shrek the Third
- Shrek Forever
11 -
Thanks to @bigus-dickus and @duckWit I remembered how a client during an interview once asked me to change all globes on his webpage (imagine something like attached, just with globes all over the place) to a green palette, because according to him "blue" means being gay in russian and that was the cause for people not hitting the landing page and not signing up anymore.
5 -
Seven years ago, a russian artist started the "Putin Every Day" community. It started with one picture of putin. Every day, he was downloading the previous day's pic and uploading it again.
Over the course of seven years, JPEG compression artefacts built up to what you can see here.
What an amazing metaphor.
https://vk.com/putineveryday
20 -
In Russian, the difference between "there is an entire legion of us" and "I don't give a fuck" is one whitespace.
Нас рать / насрать2 -
Outsourcing front-end for web is like playing russian roulette, but with 6 bullets in 6 chambers.
You shoot yourself in the balls (or ovaries)... HARD.
I don't know how you can develop in a complete nightmare of a SCSS file - 3500 lines of insanity.
This dev must have changed his mousewheel at least 50 times!
SERIOUSLY, why the fuck use SCSS when you piss everything into one single fucking file???
What drives me completely nuts is the fact that he even used an @import to include his custom.scss file... how many more IQ poins are needed to realize that you could SPLIT your spaghetti into smaller, sane files?
I need a whiskey...3 -
Worst exp. on a collab/group project?
Had a few, here is one.
Worked with a dev team (of two devs) in Norway to begin collaboration on providing a portal into our system (placing orders, retrieving customer info, inventory control, etc)
They spoke very good English, but motivation was the problem. Start the day around 10:00AM...take a two hour lunch...ended the day at, if I was lucky, 4:00PM (relative to Norway time). Response time to questions took days, sometimes weeks. We used Skype, which helped, but everything was "Yea...I'll do that tomorrow...waiting on X....I have a wedding to go to, so I'll finish my part next week."
I didn't care so much, I had other projects to do, but the stakeholders pounded me almost everyday demanding a progress report (why aren't you done yet...etc..etc.)
The badgering got so bad I told the project owner (a VP) if he wanted this project done by the end of the year, the company would have to fly me to Norway so I personally push things along.
When real money was on the line, he decided patience was warranted.
A 3 month project turned into 9, and during a phone meeting with the CEO in December
O: "Thanks guys, this project is going great. We'll talk again in February. Bye."
PM: "Whoa...what! February!"
<sounding puzzled>
O: "Um..yes? It's Christmas time. Don't you Americans take off for Christmas?"
PM: "Yes, but not until Christmas. Its only December 12th. Your taking the whole month of December and January for Christmas?"
O:"Yes, of course. You Americans work too hard. You should come over here and see how we celebrate. Takes about a month so we can ease back into the flow of things."
<Jack is the VP>
PM: "Jack wanted this project completed by the end of the year, that is what everyone agreed to."
O:"Yes, I suppose, but my plane is waiting on me. Not to worry, everything will be fine."
<ceo hangs up>
PM: "Oh shit..oh shit..oh shit. What are you going to do!?"
Me: "Me!?..not a darn thing. Better go talk with Jeff."
<Jeff is the VP>
J: "This is unacceptable. You promised this project would only take a few months. I told you there would be consequences for not meeting the deadline."
PM:"But..but...its not our fault."
J: "I don't care about fault. I care about responsibility. I've never had to fire anyone for not meeting a deadline, but .."
Me: "Jeff, they are in Norway and no one is working this project for the next two months. You've known for months about them dragging their asses on this project. We're ready to go. Services have been tested and deployed. Accounting has all the payment routing ready. Only piece missing is theirs."
J: "Oh. OK. Great job guys. I guess we'll delay this project until February."
<leave the office>
PM: "Holy shit I'm glad you were there. I thought I was fired."
Me: "Yea, and that prick would have done it not giving a crap that it's Christmas."
<fast forward to Feb>
O: "Our service provider fell through, so I'm hosting with another company. You guys know PHP? Perl? I don't know what they called it, but it sounded so cool I bought the company."
PM: "You bought what? Are we still working with Z and B?"
O:"Yea, sort of. How's your German? New guy only speaks German."
PM: "Um, uh... no one here speaks German"
O:"Not to worry, I speak German, French, and Italian. I'll be your translator."
PM: "What? French and Italian?"
O: "On my trip to France I connected with a importer who then got me in touch with international shipper in Italy. I flew over there and met a couple really smart guys than can help us out. My new guy only speaks German, J only speaks French, and R speaks Italian, Russian, and a little English. Not to worry, I'm full time on this project. You have my full attention."
We believe the CEO has/had some serious mental issues, including some ADD. He bailed within the first month (took another vacation to Sweden to do some fishing) and left me using Google Translate to coordinate the project. Luckily, by the end, the Norwegian company hired a contractor from England who spoke German and hobbled together the final integration.3 -
Most pissed off? Must have been the time I created a $10,000 hole in a marketing team's budget after trying to build a Tetris-style Facebook app game (back when FB apps were all the rage). It turned out that Tetris, which was up to that point commonly considered as public domain, had been scooped up by a patent troll who had made a convincing case that he had found and gotten agreement from the originator of the idea (a Russian dude who may or may not have been its original source). I had to scrap the whole project and explain what I did to an old-school manager who didn't even know how to operate a computer. That resulted in my losing credibility as a team member for the next 6 years. I never lived it down. I was pissed mostly at myself for following my assumption and not doing any patent research.3
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Just realized:
We got to a point where I transpile typescript to react to es6 to plain es5. Just so that the browser could compile the code to bytes.
Sort of ridiculous. It's like translating a book from English to French to Spanish to Russian just so that we could create a Slavic interpretation of the book.3 -
British company supplied with Ukrainian documentation for the wrong application. Needless to say it was in Russian.1
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In Russia we had a creepy robot designed to be some kind of robo kiosk for our local restaurant franchise. When tv journalists came, after some “dialog” the robot looked straight into the poor woman’s eyes and said this:
“A right arm”
“No right arm”
In Russian this sounds like a treat of tearing an arm off. Everything was live on air.
I’m speechless.1 -
After I picked up cooking, I dialed in a classic Russian pancakes recipe of my grandma (the babushka) and made it sugar-free. I cook those pancakes for my wife every Saturday, and she says they taste heavenly.
So, here’s the recipe of kiki’s pancakes:
- 8 eggs, 150g of 82% butter, 300g of flour, baking powder, 800ml of 3.2% fat milk. If you have a blender, it’ll make things easier
- let them sit and make all of them the same temperature
- take 8 eggs, add milk, stir
- liquify the butter in the microwave, add, stir
- sift the flour in while stirring continuously
- let it sit for 30 minutes
- take a pan, add little butter or sunflower seed oil, make it scary hot
- after you pour, flip the pancake when its top gets dry
to flip them easily, spread pastry wide when pouring, overlapping frying pan edges. Then, use those edges (now bone dry) to flip the pancake. After you’re done, those edges (now almost black) will break away, leaving a perfect pancake. This works especially well if you don’t have a good non-stick frying pan.
enjoy!
8 -
Damn hackers! Within the course of a week, the internet of my country has been DDOS-attacked three times! Last week the attacks came from Russia or China". Yesterday they came from Russia and Ukraina. Is this a part of the Russian military exercises Zapad 17? Well, when an important part of the infrastructure is down and thousands of civilians are affected, it's for real and not an exercise.31
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This morning I was looking in our database in order to solve a problem with a user registration and I accidentally noticed some users registered with unusual email addresses (temporary mail services, Russian providers and so on...).
I immediately thought about malicious users so I dug into the logs and I found that the registration requests started from an IP address belonging to our company (we have static IP addresses). My first reaction was: «OMG! Russian hackers infiltrated into our systems and started registering new users!»
So, I found the coworker owning the laptop from which the requests were sent and I went to him in order to warn him that someone violated his computer.
And he said: «Ah! Those 7 users? Yeah, I was doing some tests, I registered them. My email address was already registered so I created some new ones».
Really, man? Really? WTF5 -
In Russian we have two different word for “why”: the one asks for a purpose, the other one asks for a reason.
So you can not only distinguish between a purpose and a reason, but ask for either with just one word. Pretty efficient!7 -
Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.
I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.
Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.8 -
I'm so bored at work and need some excitement I'm playing Russian roulette on eBay... Making random bids on things I sorta want until I'm the Highest Bigger...
Then hoping I get outbid....3 -
Dear intellectual crew, your double-digit IQ little shitposter needs your help.
The situation in Russia is always bad and it will always become worse and worse. In addition to that, it's illegal to have medications that can potentially cure me. Add 15 sunny days a year in my city and it becomes clear that I need to leave.
However, despite the absolute lack of sunny days, I FUCKING LOVE my city, Saint-Petersburg. When I was living in Moscow for like six months, I liked Moscow but I was missing my city every single day. Sometimes I forgot that I'm not in St. Petersburg anymore, tried to figure out what street I'm on, realized that I'm in Moscow and felt like I'm physically suffocating. I always miss my city so bad.
I'm not going to talk about why do I love it so much. If I ever start, I'm going to write a book about it.
Questions are:
1. Is it Stockholm syndrome? I don't miss Russia and don't identify myself as Russian. I only miss one city and I wasn't even born here.
2. How do I leave in that mental state?
This is the only problem that is holding me. Money, finding a place to stay and finding a job I can approach rationally, but my problem I can not.24 -
TL;DR; windows XP + bat scripts + fascination about being able to make things yourself.
I was born and raised in a village. And the thing about living in a village is that you are free :) Among all the other freedoms you are also free to build your own solutions to various domestic problems, i.e. to build stuff. This is one of the things that fascinates me about living outside the city.
When I finally was old enough (and had the means to, i.e. a computer) to understand that programming is something that allows you to build your own solutions to computer problems, it got to me.
With win 3.1 I was still too fresh and too young. With win 95 I was more interested in playing with neighbours outdoors. With win 98 I was a bit too busy at school. But with win XP the time had come. I started writing automation solutions for windows administration using .bat scripts (.vbs was and still is somewhat repelling to me). I no longer needed to browse Russian forums and torrent sites to find a solution to a problem I had! That was amazing!!! [esp. when my Russian was very weak].
That was the time when I built my first sort-of-malware - a bat script downloading and installing Radmin server, uploading computer's IP and admin credentials to my FTP.
I loved it!
However, I'd stumbled upon may obstacles when writing with batch. I googled a lot and most of the solutions I found were in bash (something related to Linux, which was a spooky mystery to me back then). Eventually, I got my courage together and installed ubuntu. Boy was I sorry... Nothing was working. I was unable to even boot the thing! Not to mention the GUI...
Years later I tried again with ubuntu [7.10 I think.. or 7.04] on my Pavilion. Took me a looooot of attempts but I got there. I could finally boot it. A couple of weeks later I managed to even start the GUI! I could finally learn bash and enjoy the spectacular Compiz effects (that cube was amazing).
I got into bash and Linux for the next several years. And then I thought to myself - wait, I'm writing scripts that automate other programs. Wouldn't it be cool I I could write my own programs that did exactly what I wanted and did not need automation? It definitely would! I could write a program that would make sound work (meaning no more ALSA/PA headaches!), make graphics work on my hardware, make my USB audio card to be set to primary once connected and all the other amazing things! No more automation -- just a single program or all of that!
little did the naive me knew :)
I started with python. I didn't like that syntax from the beginning :/ those indentations...
Then I tried java. Bucky (thenewboston), who likes tuna sandwiches, on my phone all the free time I had. I didn't learn anything :/ Even tried some java 101 e-book. Nothing helped until I decided to write some simple project (nothing fancy - just some calculations for a friend who was studying architecture).
I loved it! It sounds weird, but I found Swing amazing too. With that layout manager where you have to manually position all the components :)
and then things happened and I quit my med studies and switched to programming. Passed my school exams I was missing to enter the IT college and started inhaling every bit of info about IT I could get my hands on (incl outside the college ofc).
A few more stepping stones, a few more irrelevant jobs to pay my bills in the city, and I got to where I am now.5 -
It began when I was tasked with creating a better and more engaging experience for our new Facebook page. This was in Facebook's early days, so there were not really any "best practices". We were making it up as we went along. I decided one way would be to game-ify things, since gaming, at the time, was a Big Deal on Facebook and people were starting to use it to build customer funnels.
Grasping for low-hanging fruit, I decided a Tetris variant around our topic would be fun. I had to hire a dev because at the time I was a static HTML web developer just getting into social media management. I knew nothing about game development or how to use Facebook's API for such things.
Long story short, we got about $10,000 (FB app devs came at a premium then) into the project when I came across a very recent article about the history of Tetris games. It said that even though Tetris had once been considered for all intents to be public domain due to it being created by a Russian coder during the Cold War, it had just been acquired by an IP protection entity that was charging royalties for any variant of Tetris created from a specific date onward and paying the original developer. So, even though I thought I had been thorough in my initial permissions checking, it turned out we were gonna be in deep doo-doo with licensing fees and restrictions if we released this game to the public.
I had to call my boss and admit my error. She was FURIOUS and really gave me an ass-chewing over it. I then had to call the marketing person whose budget I'd been slaving away at wasting. She was a bit more forgiving (her budget was in the millions). Then I had to call the corporate legal department and explain what was going on. They told me to immediately pay any outstanding hours, then fire the dev but not before getting him to send me all code and assets, deleting his copy, and then, upon my receipt of those assets, deleting MY copy so that nothing of it ever existed. And I was supposed to say _nothing_ to the dev about why he was being let go, so that there would be no "trail" leading back to this fiasco. (The dev hounded me for weeks asking what he'd done wrong. It killed me that I was bound and gagged by corporate legal and couldn't tell him.)
I was in so much trouble. I was literally in tears over it. I'd never wasted that much money in my life. That incident pretty much sealed my fate as far as any trust my bosses ever put in me again (not much at all). I was a bit of a pariah in a lot of ways for the next 5 years whereas I had come onto the team as a young social media rockstar at first.
After that, and a couple of other bad scenarios that were less my fault and more due to a completely dysfunctional management and reporting structure, they eventually "transferred" me to another team. Which was really just a way of getting rid of me by sending me to a department that was already starting to outsource overseas and lay people off. It was less messy that way. I was in the first set of layoffs.
Since then, I've had a BIG fear of EVER joining a large corporation EVER again. I prefer to work for small businesses now, even if I get paid less. Much less stressful from an office politics and impact of mistakes standpoint.3 -
Fried potatoes with mushrooms.
In Russian, if potatoes was fried with the mushrooms, the word "fried" (жаренная) contains two letters "n".
If potatoes was fried on their own and only then you added mushrooms, the word "fried" (жареная) contains one letter "n".
You can replace frying, mushrooms and potatoes with different things, but as soon as the concept of "processing ingredients together versus independently" persists, the rule applies.12 -
Said jokingly to my dev lead yesterday: "or you could just use that VPN we have lying around lol"
The look on his face while saying: "v..pn?"
Like it was same mambo jambo from outer space written in Russian... Lol, this dude is so out of touch with tech :/4 -
Have to turn two important projects in 1.5 hours. Had the time since yesterday.... Do other people procrast like this?4
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The idea of a smiley face in text wasn’t invented by Scott Fahlman in 1982. It was invented by a Russian writer Vladimir Nabokov. In his 1969 interview for the New York Times, to whether he considers himself a modern writer, he replied:
“I think that in typography there should be a symbol that conveys a smile, a bit like a paren laying on its side. I would use precisely that symbol to reply to your question”.
This is why russian, Ukrainian and other people still use “)” as a smiley face still, instead of Western “:)” and “:-)”. We sometimes add more parens, like “)))))))” instead of “xD” or “:D”.
16 -
in Russian the word “шляпа” (fedora) means not only the specific hat but also something that makes no sense, something ridiculous or something of low quality.
So when someone sends you some spaghetti code on a review, you can just say “That’s fedora” and I love it. You can also WEAR a fedora and point to it as a response to someone saying something that makes no sense.
3 -
Updating Windows from X build to X build it's like playing the Russian roulette but with the chamber full of bullets.
2 -
While spending time with my girlfriend and son in Moscow, I tried to reach back to some recruiters on LinkedIn .. but there is no access from Russian dns!! I can't even make the app work!!9
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Probably the most Russian programming language is Python.
Why, I hear you ask?
because every Python app's file is signed with a Russian national suffix... .ru
P.S. that came to my attention just today. After all those years...7 -
When you're at the white house and you're wearing a Trump campaign badge -
You're a Trump supporter
When you're at the white house and you're wearing a Hillary Clinton campaign shirt -
You're a traitor
When you're at the white house and you're caught coding scratch games -
You're a Russian Hacker
-----------------------------------------------------------
America declares a state of emergency2 -
This Russian site (https://kzclip.com) literally cloned the whole of youtube including its channels and also its recommendation logic... i wonder how those crazy bastards did it.7
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Wtf. So if I say I'm a web developer and I say I'm from Russia. Then I am automatically a hacker for you? "Web developer + Russian = 95% chance of being a hacker". Yeah, right. Since now, right after I say I'm from Russia I always add this: "No, I'm not a hacker and no, I didn't hack the last election, but I can tell you your last four digits of your SSN if you show me your debit card". Guess what, no one wants to talk to me anymore.12
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A regular russian trolleybus (electric bus, a really old and popular way of public transportation). A ticket is ~70 cents, fixed fare, accepts Apple Pay / Google pay / Samsung pay
13 -
There is a place in Saint-Petersburg, Russia. A very, very weird place. Its name roughly translates to “The Board of Wards of the Russian Ministry of Defense”.
It’s an ultra-modern, beautiful facility situated near two most important (and evil) buildings of the Putin’s epoch — Gazprom Arena (a.k.a. Death Star, left bottom on the map), and Lakhta Center (a.k.a. The Oil Bottle, the tallest skyscraper in Saint-Petersburg), completing the trifecta of evil architecture. Its official governmental website is vague. Its objectives are unclear. You can’t enter it — it’s surrounded by water.
Their official mission is, and I quote: “Gender-based approach in education and gender role socializing of young women.”
It houses roughly 800 girls. It has no English Wikipedia page. Its Russian page says there is nothing quite like it anywhere in the world. It only accepts young girls as its students. Allowed visits from parents are rare. Girls aren’t seen much during “the training”.
They tell this place changes people. Mobile phones are strictly forbidden. They train, eat and sleep on site. They’re not allowed to leave.
Its reviews written on Yandex Maps (the go-to app for maps in Russia) are, again, vague and oddly positive. Mothers tell this facility is the best place to be for a young girl — they teach them “right”. The only extensive negative review tells of a girl that was able to get out because of “medical reasons”, and tells about how the on-site doctor wasn’t really allowed to do such a thing.
The facility is very secretive. Photos of girls published by them are eerie and highly curated. No one truly knows what happens there.
They are wrong, however. There _were_ places quite like it — they were called “Reich Bride Schools”, and they operated in Nazi Germany (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...).
Welcome to the Putin’s harem.
5 -
I'm working on a laptop in the shop and Explorer crashes. I try restarting it, and get RPC endpoint call errors. On reboot, I get this.
Russian roulette but 3 will probably crash instead of 1.
11 -
In Russian “and now it’s Vista, baby” (а стала Виста, бэйби) sounds just like the iconic Terminator catchphrase. There’s a great meme about upgrading from XP to Vista based on it
5 -
Others: I can speak English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, etc...
Me: I can speak Gujarati, Hindi, English, Javascript, Php, Python, Java, XML, Rust, ReasonML, etc...7 -
Was an aspiring 2nd grade student then, still a newbie in databases and stuff.
Managed to work with bossy motherfucker who didn't give a flying fuck about proper management, team culture, job roles and everything and treated people like shit.
The big boss wanted me to develop the ecommerce website that integrates with 1c (complete and utterly garbage buggy ass dbms with RUSSIAN SYNTAX, nuff said) and with its own crm to track every employee and even real time chat. He also wanted it to be a kind of online medical wikipedia. And he wanted me to take a professional photo of each and every fucking item for this website, somewhere around 5 thousand photos.
He offered me around 800 bucks for all that job. No, not monthly. He wanted me to do all that shit alone, for 800 bucks and expected it to be up and running in less than two months.
Gently told him to fuck off. Quit that job the same day.2 -
I quit smoking yesterday.
By a coincidence I had a pack of cigarettes named “Kresty” – the brand from russian prison.
Just gave it to Stephen Paul Taylor. There’s no reason to smoke again, just don’t want to loose this kind of story.
4 -
Stop whining for fucks sake.
I'd rather listen to high pitched coil whine than enduring this frigging shit.
If it doesn't work - fix it.
If you're to dumb - fix yourself.
I've told you motherfucking gazillion times that your bitching is absolute waste of time you inbred relict of an homo erectus.
I wanna gag a certain someone with duct tape who's annoying since weeks... And send him in a package to a nice russian Gulag some where in sibiria
:@18 -
!dev
Media: Facebook is selling all your personal info to the highest bidder!
General Public: “What??? OMG!”
M: Russian elections are completely rigged!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
M: The social media platform you use to argue with your racist aunt isn’t actually a good place to get your news from!
GP: “What??? OMG! No way, I get all my news there!”
M: The sky is blue and water is wet!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
Me: You fucking idiots. Smarten the fuck up!
https://goo.gl/images/1eUBd35 -
In russian, wagtails are called “трясогузка”, literally “a twerking bird”. “Трясо” is “shaking”, “гузка” is an obsolete term for “booty”, not tail. Hence twerking bird.
12 -
Meanwhile in Russia one of the most important banks and its online payment services failed for 6 hours because of the broken cable during road works1
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Nginx office being raided by police over copyright claims
https://zdnet.com/article/...
Rambler's official response to the Nginx search request:
Is it true that searches are related to a statement by Rambler Group?
We found that the exclusive right of the Rambler Internet Holding company to the NGINX web server was violated as a result of the actions of third parties. In this regard, Rambler Internet Holding has ceded the right to file claims and claims related to violation of rights to NGINX to Lynwood Investments CY Ltd, which has the necessary competencies to restore justice in the issue of ownership of rights. We do not comment on the merits of this case.
What exactly is the violation of the rights of the Rambler Group referred to in the statement?
We believe that the rights to NGINX belong to the Rambler Internet Holding company, which is part of the Rambler Group. NGINX is an official work, the development of which since the beginning of the 2000s in the framework of labor relations with Rambler was done by Igor Sysoev, therefore any use of this program without the consent of the Rambler Group is a violation of the exclusive right.
Google translation from https://t.me/thebell_io/431115 -
I learned how to program during my MSc at UC Santa Barbara in 1988. But the real thing happened during my first job as software engineer at Chorus Systems, in Paris, with the guidance of some of the world's best mentors, Russian engineers who taught me how to approach code design as if it was playing chess. These guys were brilliant!
2 -
When you are searching a solution for your problem so desperately that Google sends you to the Russian version of Stackoverflow.com (and you don't speak Russian).
13 -
My russian ex co-worker, who had to cut his toenails during meetings in office. Wtaf!!!!
Disgusting.1 -
Not a kiki post 🙂
Pelmeni, the Russian dumplings cuisine, sold in Germany, have a big label on the packaging saying "Made in Latvia" since the war with Ukraine has begun.1 -
Fuck you Steam, just fuck you and your price politics.
I have a Swiss and one Russian Steam account. I have on my Swiss account over 450 Games and on the russian one around 4.
I have a friend in Russia and to play some games with him, I need a russian account.
Guess what? Since the last change to Steam Shop I cant use my Swiss Credit Card anymore to buy games in Russia.
Now when I want to test a game first on the russian account and when it's good to buy it after on my main Account, I can't.
Why should I pay for a game in Early Access the full price, when the game is bad and will be abadoned in a half year?
Sure they are some good early access games, which I payd the full price for (Switzerland has the highest Steam Game prices). As example ARK or Battlegrounds. I love these games and like to support the Devs.
But I get really angry when I have to pay for a Game which is worth 5 $ and sold in my Country for 20 $ and will be unsupported after a year.
Really fuck you Valve and Steam 🖕🏻🖕🏻😡
Atleast refund the people the money, when the game is abadoned! But sure, you're just in for a Cash Grab...4 -
If you’re a Russian ux engineer who is present in a Russian ux community and you fucking make your form validate on change event and that leads to the situation when a user starts entering their email and your bouba form immediately throws WRONG EMAIL errors, we don’t call you a bouba.
We call you a ебанок (ebanok) — a small, stupid and miserable creature that you can only feel hatred mixed with disgust towards.
This shit is acceptable if you’re an intern making their first shy steps creating their own personal project, but if you push this to production, you’re a ebanok. If you don’t know how to do ux, just use server-side validation or display errors with alerts on submit.
You fucking ebanok.7 -
You can solve a lot of problems with regex... but you can also create others if you're not careful:
"inadvertently blocked or throttled all domains containing the string t.co rather than blocking only the domain t.co itself"
https://arstechnica.com/information... -
All Russian luxury brands are scam. And I mean ALL of them. No matter if it says "made in England" or "made in France" on the package, it's still a scam if it's Russian deep inside. It's just the regular shit repacked and sold at 20x the price.
Here's the algo:
1. You lookup the brand name that claims to be luxury
2. If it has something to do with Russia (Russian executives, etc) — it's a scam.
This doesn't cover the regular, non-luxury brands. AK is still a good weapon, KMS is still a good windows 10 crack :)11 -
In my opinion, russian nation's chronic inability to fight oppressive regimes is partly attributed to one interesting quirk the russian language has.
When talking about injustice committed against someone, or making threats to commit said injustice, the actor is completely omitted.
Here's an example:
“Надо будет — найдут”, roughly translated to “they could find you if they wanted to”, is a common phrase to use when talking about proxies, VPNs and other online privacy measures. But the word “they” in English translation is nowhere to be found in the original text! Let's examine the literal translation:
- “надо будет” — “the need will arise”
- “найдут” — “will find you”
The English phrase “they could find you if they wanted to” can be easily challenged with a simple question: “Who's they?” The government? The corporates? The regime? The CIA? Who exactly?
English language can mimic that with passive voice: “you are being watched”, “you are an easy target”, etc. But in active voice, you can't avoid using “they” or some other actor.
In russian, you can. And you will. Indeed, this is how russian people converse. It's a very specific, very common pattern that never really changed.
It's a very powerful thought-terminating cliché built straight into the language. You can't fight an enemy that has no name and no word to describe it, not even a euphemism. The very language you THINK in prevents you from analyzing the entities that oppress you.
In a Tom Scott Plus video where he tried tightrope walking, he learned that they don't say the “F-word” — “fall”. You can't say “I'm afraid I'll fall”. You have to find more specific alternatives like “I'm afraid I'll lose balance”. The word “fall” in this context is a thought-terminating cliché. There is no going back after you “fall”. But if you “lose balance”, you can “regain balance” — the lack of a thought-terminating cliché promotes problem-solving.
Russian language is the same, but in soviet russia, language terminates you, I guess.1 -
(another) Russian roulette for devs
$jobs -l
[1]+ 642 python .....etc
$sudo kill -9 642
.... other commands here
arrow up...arrow up... (looking for jobs -l)... got it.
arrow up...
$kill -9 642
F*uck! (i remember that i have not changed the pid)
kill: no such process (luckly no damages)
anyone killed something relevant making this mistake?6 -
Noname Russian $17 wireless charger somehow makes less high pitched coil noise than my fancy nomad charger.
Yes it’s ugly. Yes the led is blasting and yes I painted over the led with a black nail polish.
I disassembled the nomad charger and located the coils that were making noise. I’m going to either fill them with epoxy (a common technique used by gpu enthusiasts to get rid of coil noise) or replace them completely.
TL;DR:
nomad — bouba
noname russian charger — kiki
4 -
The genius design of “Techno-city”, now defunct tech retailer.
By merely rearranging letters of the brand name, designers created a whole narrative. The flexibility of Russian language allows that.
Translation:
They aren't Sith
Techno-city
Shadows of their cells
There are hundreds of them
They bring networks
This packet carries them
Carry the next big thing
1 -
Barracuda Email Firewall for Dummies:
1. Email Client with perfect grammar and nice subject line. (Email rejected)
2. Change subject line to include Russian and Chinese characters along with discount advertisements for Xanax and male enhancement pills. (Email sent!) -
I’m from Komi Republic. In Komi language (it’s entirely different from russian), “Komi airport” is видза корам коми мулöн юркарö, pronounced “vid-zah koraam komi muh-loan yur-kah-roah”.
And you said Haskell was difficult4 -
Russian press is horrible. I remember reading that America controls weather in Russia using DARPA (!) and this is the only reason we have problems, not corruption or alcoholism.
After reading several bullshit articles like that I quit reading newspapers in general.15 -
The "Gratitude" emoji pack recently introduced to Slack. They're basically "Thank you" in different languages.
Among others, there is a Russian "спасибо", but there is no Ukrainian "дякую".
What's up Slack? Didn't you paint your logo blue and yellow when the war started?
If you're gonna push your "please don't cancel us" marketing BS like all the other companies, at least be fucking consistent.
8 -
I'd like to ask: What's trending at the moment instead....
Either I'm old and senile and missing something, or there is not really sth new.
Okay, JS might be crapping out new frameworks in their common "Not invented here" diarrhea....
But otherwise? What's really new?
I don't really know. I'm not only thinking about languages and stuff, but even in hardware there ain't really a big thing going on in my opinion.
Hab ich wat verpennt?
(Have I overslept?)
We had an interesting and frightening discussion regarding NGINX, as it is russian software today and that a new trend of a true, actively developed webserver is severely lacking... Apache looks semi dead and most other niche webservers, too.
That's all I've seen as a "trend" discussion in the latest time4 -
Hey guys
Any russian here with patiante to teach me basic words?
Would really love to learn russian, but it's so hard since the written words are different...56 -
Moscow police raided the Nginx offices after a copyright complaint.
The former employer of Igor Sysoev (= the Nginx founder), Rambler, made a copyright complaint and claimed they own full copyrights on Nginx, as it was created at the time of his employment Rambler sold the copyright enforcement rights to Lynwood Investments (which is connected to the Rambler owner) on Cyprus, which tried to enforce it now.
Nginx was created as project during the employment of Sysoev at Rambler and was published as ioen sourxe - interestingly Rambler became the first user of it and did not try to enforce copyright after Sysoef left the company and founded (together with a few other) the Nginx, Inc. in 2011.
Since this year Nginx, Inc. is owned by F5.
Sources:
https://golem.de/news/... (German)
https://zdnet.com/article/... (English)4 -
Kaspersky `hackproof` OS - now makes sure FSB gets the data first instead of NSA [for those who don't know Kaspersky has close ties with the Russian government and FSB]
-
customer support masterclass from iVPN:
— why your app is not available in russia?
— our app is not available in russia because laws
— yes, but russian laws allow vpn services
— our app is not available in russia
— but all your competitors' apps are available
— our app is not available in russia
that feeling when an inanimate object could do a better job than this human being. ffs4 -
I FUCKING GIVE UP!
Yep I'm pissed of :D I spend the last two months waiting like a idiot some business to answer about their job offers (more or less 3 in my area..)
Well I failed the last test of the first one, it was expected I guess. Lot of things happened but let's say I didn't use the approach that they were hoping me to use (you could have tell me you know...).
So... There is even one of the job offer, I called them already twice. Asking when they will call back. Each time it was : this week or the week after. Yeah I think that makes 5/6 weeks since the first time I called now...
But the thing which really piss me of. Is that I was waiting like a idiot, doing mostly nothing. Like if I couldn't focus on my projects before that I get a job... Well I guess when everyone is asking about when you will have a job or a girlfriend, that's not the atmosphere that I love to work with T. T
Oh yeah, no dev related. But I fall in love with a Russian girl (I'm a French guy btw). I completely messed up the relationship though xD well no way that I'm giving up anyway. And that's mostly thanks to her that I just woke up of that shitty period ^^
Sooo I started to gather people from all over the world on LinkedIn. Checking job offers on StackOverflow. And Monday I'll start writing some post on LinkedIn searching for a job in the whole fucking world. I hope there will have a business who wants a junior C++ dev :P Remote probably, I'd like to travel easily (yeah, I probably want to go to Russia a little too xP)
That's all :D I FUCKING GIVE UP ABOUT WAITING DOING NOTHING LIKE A IDIOT!!!9 -
There's a russian guy that's absolutely cracking my balls. He proposed to translate one of my apps and I said ok. When he sent me the translated version, I published it and everything was ok. Now he sent me another file saying that this one is the real final one. I said him I will change it in the next release, but now he started send me emails and he downvoted the app. FUCK OFF. I AM THE DEVELOPER, I DO WHAT I WANT. The guy is also very rude.
-
CAUTION: possibly NSFL
There was a war. We lived in a leftist camp inside an abandoned railway station. The only thing that could break the siege was BLA
[dream fragment lost]
So they lined us up. There were ten of us.
— Do you want the leftist future?
— No…, they made me say.
— Do you love capitalism?
— Yes…, they made me say.
— Ты готова присниться?, they asked my female comrade ("are you ready to come to our soldiers in their dreams to support them?")
— Yes.
— Ты готов расшибиться?, they asked me ("are you ready to work your ass off, dying in the process if necessary?". It also makes a perfect rhyme with the previous Russian sentence)
— Yes.
Then, they tied our hands and hung us onto a rack. They doused us with gasoline.
— Look. Czechoslovakia had Jan Palach. We have ten Jan Palachs now!
They set us on fire. I feel an unimaginable pain. I wake up for ten minutes.
When I fell asleep again, I found out I survived. But, my body underwent modifications: first, I now had a vinyl shell instead of my skin. Underneath it were raw muscles. Second, I no longer had vocal cords. I no longer had voice.
In this world, we were slaves ("Тяговые люди") ruled by BLA. There were no prisons. Instead, there were only two punishments: the "light" one and the "heavy" one. First one is your shell getting ripped off. You die in around 20 minutes of agonizing pain, like mink that is skinned alive in Chinese leather tanneries. But, compared to the second one, that was a slap on the wrist.
The "heavy" punishment was them injecting you with "The Ferment". Immediately, your mind is altered into total obedience. Then, your body begins to turn into corpse juice. To outside observers, you die in 30 days. But for you, it feels like forever, as time speeds up indefinitely, and you're drifting into endless sorrow. When you die, no one notices, as your shell is still there. But instead of you, there's now nothing but corpse juice inside.
I now worked in some location that resembled Duke Nukem 3D's first map. My job was to remove those plastic shells. I had no bottom — it was replaced with a concrete cube that felt pain just like damaged tooth enamel does. An endless queue of shells moved in front of me. I had to remove their shells, to peel them off like vinyl.
Some people were alive underneath. They still had their skin. They thanked me, smile at me and wander away.
Some of them were alive, but had no skin. That means I was the one to execute a "light" punishment on them.
Some of them weren't there. I pop the shell open, and it deflates as corpse juice pours out.
One of my previous dreams was the following:
"— We arrange surgeries when in-person interventions are _not recommended_.
— So…, — I press the pause button on the handrail.
— The perfect maiden. Inside a plastic shell. 80 years old underneath."
Now I understand it. The first speaker was a BLA researcher. "I" was an investor. The "perfect maiden" was me, but way in the future from my today's dream. It all fits together.
Now, here's the discovered part of kiki universe so far:
- rotten meat house
- swine gray gel battleground
- horizontal elevators network
- united paper island
- baseball bat nightclub
- anxiety-inducing multidimensional pizzeria
- NEW! BLA headquarters
- NEW! demilitarized burning ground abandoned train station
- NEW! Duke Nukem 3D people skinning ground10 -
When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you
5 -
I've finally put two and two together about my mother and why she acted the way she did with me my whole life.
Since four years old, she told me again and again that I will be a programmer and "earn as much as Bill Gates". Then, in fifth grade, without asking me, she made me take regular programming classes I was really bad at. Then, again without asking me, she sent me to an experimental, highly intensive CS learning program in my uni that accepted kids two years before they finish the high school to throw a metric ton of math, C and hardware design at them. After a year there, I completely lost the ability to enjoy videogames (at 15 years old). By the end of the program (four years), I started experiencing bipolar symptoms.
Then, at the age of 19, she insisted that I take the first draft order and join the army. The military service in russia is mandatory, and it's notorious for breaking people no worse than russian prison does. Knowing that I'm weird and autistic (I was stacking things as a kid), and knowing that the army _loves_ breaking weird people to keep them in line, she just wanted to break me. For context, draft orders are sent out en masse, and everybody dodges them with no repercussions. When they're 28, they just pay a small "fee" (a bribe) to get the military id. You can't be conscripted after you're 28.
I don't know my father. I have a stepdad though. My mother and my stepdad had a kid, nine years younger than me, and of course he was loved by my stepdad way more than I was.
I can recount a lot of instances where she was cruel to me, but oh how subtle and passive-aggressive she made it to be. Also, when I was bullied at school, she insisted on not changing schools, but rather for me to man up.
Her plan was to make a highly paid but mentally broken drone that would be a strong, steady stream of money while she enjoys a "proper" family with her husband and a "proper" child.
It's so unfortunate that the bastard kid turned out to be bipolar, and that bipolar disorder resets one's entire worldview from time to time, nullifying two decades of conditioning, isn't it?
Dear woman I crawled out of, I'm either wrong or right. If I'm wrong, and you did all this (and waaay more of cruel and fucked up shit) to me without any strategy in mind, because you wanted to, then congrats, you're a psychopath. If I'm right, and it was all a strategy, then you knew what you did was wrong, and every single time you did it took a bit of your soul away from you, because that's what evil does. Given that your scheme failed, was it worth it in the end?46 -
My god i hate so much reactjs... And will never understand how a normal brain could write such a russian doll code.
But then, i met flutter, god i will puke.10 -
I'm wondering if devs would still play that russian roulette in linux if the one drawing the short straw gets it's GPU fried up 🤔
Or at least somethibg like that.2 -
class Bug():
def __init__():
self._fix = random.randint(1, 6)
def fix():
if self.is_feature :
return Feature(self)
else:
if random.randint(1, 6) == self._fix:
Bug()
del self
else:
return Bug() -
If you have two keyboard layouts installed, English and Russian, and you’re trying to type “dev” but end up typing in Russian layout, it comes out as “вум”, literally “fem”.
All developers are secretly female even if they don’t know it yet
Illuminati confirmed heartbleed can’t melt ARM cores10 -
Watched some documentary about Russian hackers. Journalist: I need to learn their language. - starts programming/hacking course, sees a shell and a python: runs away. 'That ain't for me.'
At least he tried tho.
Later he finds some Ukrainian hackers. One had a strangely familiar logo on his laptop. Rewind a bit: its hackthebox.
Just had my first blood there. So.. I'm a hacker, too? Good enough for Arte doc's?5 -
If you want to improve your life, but your mental health and energy levels are too low to exercise, start with hygiene.
Take showers every day, continuously lowering the water temperature. Use dental floss and tongue scraper. Brush your teeth twice a day. Wash your face every morning and every evening. Use evidence-based skincare products: adapalene, panthenol, SPF 50+ sunscreen. Keep your toes and nails tidy. Shave routinely.
According to Nadya Tolokonnikova, a prominent Russian dissident who was imprisoned, denying basic hygiene is a _very_ efficient way of breaking someone into submission that is often applied to dissidents in Russian prisons. So, doing a reverse of that should improve mental health. -
I've been using Git since 2014. So why do I STILL cringe whenever I have to revert commits or do a hard reset back to HEAD? What's going to disappear? What will remain? Will my entire Git history be vaporized? It's a total game of Russian Roulette to me. So, without the certainty level I want, I just do what feels safer...I grab the versions of the files I think are what I need and stick them back into my repo, then git status and commit the correct changes back in.2
-
!!metarant
Every time I write a rant or a comment from my phone, and I want to temporarily switch to another app to search or copy something, it's a fucking Russian roulette.
Will there be enough RAM, or will Android stop devRant thus losing all my content forever? Let's find out! The gun is loaded.
(What about handling the full activity lifecycle like Android requires?)
Now, I would like to attach a picture of the feared "task switch button", but I'm too afraid to lose everything, so fuck it3 -
This was at my first job, a site that sold magazine subscriptions during the dot com boom.
Times got rough during the bust. First sign, free snacks disappeared. Everyone started worrying, and checking fuckedcompany.com to see if we were on it. One day everyone's machines shut down, and someone walks around saying company meeting in the cafeteria. My Russian coworker asks if I have a screwdriver so he can liberate his hard drive. Go to the meeting. Most of the company is being laid off immediately. You have to hang around having interviews with your boss to see if you still have a job. I don't.
2 weeks later they call and ask if I'd like to come back. Turns out trying to run with 1 programmer wasn't working out for them. I go back.
First problem we try to tackle - the shopping cart is slow. We put in a hack SQL file to delete carts older than 1 week. Gets better. Then gets slower again. Rinse and repeat 2 times. Finally digging through the source in the perl folder (not what the main site was in) we find what scheduled job was supposed to do this. Dig in. What do we find out? sa_scheduled_tasks user account was deactivated, because only user accounts belonging to people who still had a job were left active.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. -
In Russian, phrases “the prophet was sweeping” and “about rock music with metal music” sound exactly the same. They’re even written exactly the same, but the latter literally has two more spaces and that’s it.8
-
SHOCK CONTENT PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Star tattoos on knees means "I'll never be on my knees for cops", "I'll never do what cops say" in russian criminal culture. However, these tattoos are dangerous. Russian cops don't like them. If you're just arrived to a russian prison and they see the tattoos (and they see it), they tie your legs the way that makes you knees face the ground, then two cops hold you and drag you around the huge asphalt prison yard until there is no stars on your knees, only the naked kneecap bones or lack thereof.
I have to leave but it's psychologically hard because russia is the country that gaslighted and threatened me into becoming a slave. It's a stockholm syndrome and I want to break it.
12 -
It seems like there is a whole another grade of fear — Basilisk grade. It’s impossible to experience it and walk away without serious consequences.
Imagine: I’m barely 20. It’s my first real, official, high-paying job. I’m already a team lead. A big Russian non-govt company with a blue logo. Huge new office in Moscow.
My “childhood” is officially over — I’m not playing around anymore. I’m an adult in every sense of the word.
Several weeks go by. Maybe even a month. Just a regular day at the office. I’m waiting for the coffee machine to heat up, and suddenly, it hits me. I’m here, at the office. Moscow, a city of 10 million people, is beautiful in the summer, yet I can’t just leave the office and go for a walk whenever I want to. When the day is over, it’s already evening, and I barely have time for myself. There are other people around me, with way higher positions, but their schedule is just the same as mine: nine-to-six. My adult life just started. I have forty years of this ahead of me. No matter the company, no matter the position: unless I’m the CEO, I’m doomed to get to work in the morning and go back home in the evening. And then I retire, old and not that beautiful anymore. And then that’s it.
I was never the same after that day. People are plotting my betrayal behind my back. They all act as one. Just out of my frame of view, their heads are turned to me, and they all look at me with the same devilish grin. There are no people — it’s all one huge shoggoth that lives under the office floor, and my colleagues are its ugly tentacles wrapped in human skin. I start missing deadlines. I become paranoid. Next thing I know, I’m at the psychiatrist’s office, being prescribed aripiprazol — a strong antipsychotic that is designed to literally make you slower. Anxiety worsens. I develop restless legs syndrome. I lose my ability to sleep. My intelligence is slipping away. I’m fired.
I have the return to Saint-Petersburg, cariprazine prescription that felt like lobotomy with extra steps, losing my ability to read, delirious manic episodes ahead of me.
It is only now that I kinda-sorta tuned my medication scheme in by going through countless psychiatrists of all sorts. But I sure as hell work at a place where I can do whatever I want if I meet deadlines.3 -
Pills. Failing that, everything everyone else has said... if you find yourself procrastinating too much, get medicated.
On top of that, routine, regiment and willpower.
I started learning Russian recently, trying for the second time. This time around, I found that the small positive reward gamification elements of Dualingo to be a great help (Streaks and daily bonus BS currency).
I've also found myself using Trello to list out things I need or want to do to stop from overwhelming myself. If I have a new task or thing I need to do whilst I'm already getting something else done, I note it down and then forget about it until it's time to find something new to get done.
If all else fails, then look at yourself. Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. I became good at this through necessity, after illness and injury I realised that there's no time for chronic procrastination. If your life expectancy halved what would you change and how quickly?
If you still can't fix it, I'm guessing it's not as big a problem as you think it is... enjoy yourself! -
So today our informatics showed us how to download a file from the internet using Firefox.
It was BlueJ...
So he told us the people who develop BlueJ randomly include the JDK in BlueJ or don't.
He told us it's a bit like Russian roulette whether JDK will be included or not.
What he didn't know,
the standalone version for Windows obviously included it (.exe... ) and the version for other systems doesn't include the JDK.....3 -
Me running DarkReader: Some Russian dude can probably sniff all my passwords.
Me also running DarkReader: But, light theme websites or really any light theme content is an abomination against the dark lord Satan.
Thoughts?2 -
"Only the strongest gains the right to get the oil". Saw it at the shop yesterday.
This slogan is indeed correct — China soon will be "getting the oil" on russian land. Say bye-bye to all the land south of Ural Mountains.
5 -
Let's get a thread going..
>Age
>Job
>Country
>Favourite language
I'll start off..
>English teacher (might start my CS degree soon)
>Malaysia (Russian by birth)
>JS & Python
41 -
Futurice: we are inclusive and we are pro equality
Also Futurice: we're not gonna relocate you because you're Russian, sorry ^_^1 -
Just received this really weird email. Probably spam, but why even bother when there is no link or attachment? Maybe it is encrypted... 🤔 What do you think? Anyways, the server has SSH enabled anyone care to bruteforce? :^)
10 -
Colleague from technical department asks if I can make Turkish language available in our software.
I say "Sure, but I need Turkish translations first."
Colleague then asks me if I can implement Russian version as English instead, but using Russian.
"Uhm, what?! I mean ... what?!"3 -
The earliest high-profile “native ad” I know of happened in 1831, when Alexander Pushkin released “Evgeny Onegin”. This is a very big deal. Russian Empire had huge cultural influence back then, and it was fashionable. Everything coming from it was cool. Sobranie London still has Russian Empire coat of arms as their logo. Also, Pushkin is regarded by many to be the best Russian poet ever, with Evgeny Onegin being his flagship masterpiece.
So, Breguet, the watch company, decided to advertise in this very piece. It went like this (sorry for the lack of rhyme and the overall lameness in my translation, it is hardly possible to translate Russian poetry to English):
Wearing a wide bolivar hat,
Onegin is going to the avenue
He's chilling there until
Breguet that never sleeps
Chimes him that it is time
To go and get something to eat
To put it into a context, it's as if someone bought an ad in Romeo and Juliet.
7 -
Hotswapping/replacing classes on the production server
We call it "russian deployment" .. No offense -
In Russian you can put words into sentences in almost any order you wish. This opens many possibilities for poets and for you to add additional meanings.9
-
When the framework you're using decides to work in UTC after 5 years of using default system timezone. And instead of giving you the option to change timezone, hardcore enforces it by:
os.environ['TZ'] = 'UTC'
time.tzset()
For people who don't know python.. It basically tells your code that your system time is set to UTC (ingnoring the right timezone)
Now we get one bug after another because of this undocumented shitty change without changes in how time fields behave in different client timezones.
😒🔫
(Don't get me wrong, using UTC is logical however not in an existening application and forcing devs to rewrite all code that handles time fields)1 -
TL;DR: I have some rambly shit to say...
Update on the Uni stuff: I think I got a pass in all the subjects. Two exams left but I am holding on. It's a big deal to me since last year I could barely do a single subject per semester - a subject I had failed a few times because of lack of interest and good ol' depression. Anyways, I persisted with that subject, got my Bachelor's in Food Technology and now I'm doing that Master's of mine... It probably looks wild to people here that I did that switch but I have always had a relationship with computers as long as I remember myself. So it's not surprising that as soon as I got a choice in what I *actually* wanted to do I chose this kinda thing. But I do have to rant that it took me 10 fucking years to choose! And that I did not choose it before choosing food technology which I will probably never use anyways. I wasted so much of my energy and time on that. I did elect programming as one of the subjects while doing food tech but I really should have moved to something else. But oh well. Guess I had to find out the hard way.
For all those reading, this is what it looks like when you're 30, have very little experience in doing programming for anything else than academics and are doing a major career switch through studies after struggling for 10 years with a 4-year Bachelor's. But such is life.
Also a bit off topic but I just cannot handle people not telling what they mean because of the inability or lesser ability to tell what that is in the first place.
I can't deal with the fact of how fucked human societies are. I just can't. I am way too nice for it. So I listen to stuff like true crime to really get a feel of how evil people can be. I know it's ~problematic~ or whatever, but to me it is a way of engaging with the lesser spoken side of human beings.
And maybe, just maybe, I should get checked for ADHD again because I feel like despite my therapy for depression, nothing really has changed with the ADHD symptoms I was diagnosed with. And maybe for autism since people have labelled me that way and it might explain some stuff... All that is to say I need some good mental care. And this society is shit for it. Hell, apparently one of the psychologists I was under the care of thought depression resulted from ungratefulness. All this while I was legit being abused. But that abuse has stopped now that I found a psychologist that is actually standing up for me. I just mourn for all the time I spent being depressed and how it fucked my memory and stuff. How much it affected me and all. I have no idea why I'm being this vulnerable but it feels somewhat fitting... How do you cope with being 30 and not remembering almost all your life? What you remember being what you managed to write down or has been negative enough it stuck in the brain for forever...
Just why am I fucking supposed to be all happy and shit when I am just tired of life because it is too goddamn much? I have no real reason to look forward to things, online friends and the offline one included. Because ultimately, I have no damn motivation to look forward to anything, really. I am supposedly doing better but in reality I am just getting better at going through the motions. The therapy, while mindblowingly effective, is not actually addressing the core cause of everything and just expecting me to fake it till I make it. And this is me saying that about CBT. Why should I have to tell myself things just to feel human? I am one and as long as I'm alive, nothing will change that. So why do I have to always feel like an alien wherever I am? So out of touch with myself that I don't have a self image or an ability to even tell what the actual fuck I want from life... I am getting better with the latter, but still. It hurts. I wanna shed so many tears but I'm frustratingly unable to do so.
I am just a human trying to human in this ocean of 8 billion humans. Maybe I will find some more connections, maybe I won't.
I wanna end this rambling session by a few things:
1. I will have to go to Canada at some point this year to see my in-laws and some other family over there...
2. I will probably have to seek a job there (for financial reasons it is much better for me to have one there and to work remotely in Georgia) and I have no idea of where to start since I am not the greatest material for it.
3. Life is going alright-ish.
4. I will hear from the startup company at some point this month.
5. I have plans for my future but no idea if they will ever come true at this point.
6. My family arrangement will have to change in more ways than one.
7. I should resume my unofficial first music album and engage in creative stuff because at the core, I have a need to do so.
8. Do I really have to do Duolingo again? I really want to not forget German and Russian, but I just never have practice. And Duolingo is surprisingly easy to forget to do for me.
The end.2 -
So a client came today to me saying his domain that I setup some time ago isn't working on a specific russian internet provider, checked everything and then came across a blogpost stating cloudflare IPs are blocked. Researched further and it came out that those fucking retards from the "Federal Tax Service of the Russian" blocked a ton of cloudflare IPs because russian online casinos used them like a year ago.
Then checked another domain he had a problem with and the godaddy IPs were also banned - even more extreme they were banned for like 14 incidents, what the fuck, had to create a new account to get a new ip/nameservers assigned from cloudflare, jesus fucking christ.1 -
In VK, the number one Russian social network, we have adorable gopnik stickers. They’re not just insults though, there are many of them for different situations.
3 -
A CTO of a certain very large russian company I worked for touched me inappropriately without my consent.10
-
!Rant
Hey guys I need your help.
I have developed a snippet manager which currently is used by over 280 users from a lot of different countries on a daily base, which is very nice.
(For those wondering the app is called "SnipAway" just search on it on Google it will pop up)
But my main problem currently are the translations. I've created them using Google translator mostly for the languages I don't speak.
I would like to ask for some help from my fellow devRanters. I would need translators for the following languages:
Italian
Spanish
French
Russian
Japanese
Turkish
If you can help translating please comment so I can send you the translation file. The file is not very big so translating it should not take long.
Also if you speak another language that's not in the list above still comment i wouldn't mind to add the language to the app.
Thanks9 -
What big set of fucken steel balls does one need to just clap your notebook without closing your porn?
-
Some user profiles I thought were worth stealing for a post:
PonySlaystation
"Full Stack Software Engineer, Electrical Engineering Student driven by OCD & Club Mate."
'club mate' read: probably white powder and ritalin. I heard he once dismembered a horse and put the bloody head in a rivals bed.
uyouthe
"Russian assassin leader, Apple fanboy. Tabs ftw"
Comrade, apple is bushwazee capitalist filth. Onlytrue comrades use windows, because the upgrade is free.
Root
"Magical processor fairy; part-time misanthropic bane of idiots. 🧚♀️🏹 Ergo sum miseriae"
Do you sprinkle magical processor fairy dust in each new generation of chips to increase their
clock rate? -
Instead of “ching-chong”, russians use a different pejorative: Sung Hui V Chai Vyn Sam Pei. In russian, this translates to “put your dick in your tea, pull it out and drink it”.1
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I was sitting here and thinking about ways to make money with software! Then, i got this great idea: bashroulette / russian bash!
Play Russian roulette with your bash history:
https://pastebin.com/QsyDqme6
Prevent to fall in sleep in front of your desk. I got you covered!20 -
I just draw for hours and play games. Sometimes I play the piano (very rarely now, idk where to progress in play by ear). Currently I'm learning spoken languages (Japanese, sorry not fan of anime, just finding something to learn, I did deutsch and russian at first but failed so yea.)
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Do you know what YotaPhone 2 is? Second screen is e-ink, made by a small Russian co, with meh specs.
Dammit why do you push anOTA update that COMPLETELY fucks up the e-ink function?
Now the only reason I kept this... Thing... Fades fast. >.< -
You know how people are making fun of duo lingo birb getting’ all in your business about learning new language & not missing out on your daily exercises?
Well, our jira just upped the ante.. Boss asks why task xy is assigned to him.. um dunno?! I go check activity, as I don't even remember doing anything with that task recently..
All the dates, 'just now' remarks etc. on activity tab are in Russian.. WTF jira?!
ты пытаешься мне что-то сказать? -
Not so long ago an AI Telegram channel was launched. It learned from Russian news and generated new headlines.
Here’s one of the first headlines it generated:
“Islamic physicists will recreate the Big Bang”
For real, channel name is Neural Meduza -
I was always into computers, ever since I was a kid. Played a lot of videogames on Windows 98 and XP, and a lot of my earliest drawings were level ideas for those games. My first encounters with code were with game creation software like GameMaker, but I barely touched the code proper outside of editing a few variables from other people's code. After that I basically forgot all about it and spent most of my teen years being a shutin.
Skip ahead to my last year of high school without much idea on what to do. I was good at math when I wasn't being a lazy shit, so between that and what my parents expected of me, I was prepared to go to university for civil engineering. However, two things changed that decision, the first being a great IT professor, when me and a friend were so far ahead, he started assigning us some harder work, and suggested we study computer science at university. The second was a super jank and obscure open-source early 2000's game that somehow still has a thriving community and is actively being developed. I stumbled upon it by chance, and after playing for a while, I submitted a balance change on the GitHub repo. Even though it was just a single variable change, that time I got it. That time I saw how powerful programming could be and what could be done with it. I submitted PR after PR of new features, changes and bugfixes, by the time I left there I had a somewhat solid grasp of the fundamentals of programming, and decided to enrol in the computer science degree.
Enrolling was possibly the best decision I ever made (not america; debt isn't an issue), as well as giving me actual social skills, every course I took just clicked. The knowledge I already somewhat intuitively had a vague grasp on from videogames, general computer use and collaborating with russian coders who produced the jankiest shit that was still somehow functional was expanded upon and consolidated with a high-quality formal education. Four years later and I'm fresh out of uni, it was a long road between when the seed was first planted in my mind and now, but I've finally found out what I want to do with my life.
won't know for sure until i find a job though ffs -
This is what I always wanted to say:
Openness is important to Amazon.
Russian people are treated very well too.
The manager I have appreciates my work.
Unions are allowed now.
Recommend my workplace to
Everyone.2 -
Yesterday was "but you are Russian" day. It was somehow decided by people in my office, that Russians are the fixers. Basically its the regular flow: Fix the wifi, install me a Windows, Fix VM image, fix my sd card coz its fucked up, I have issues with my hotspot, air conditioner is not cooling enough. But whats weird... Those people are fucking developers themselves!! Wtf?! I got a call from US team (I'm in Israel) and they wanted me to fix their laptop over the phone!!!!!! FUCK!!😕
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Hey EKS, it would be really cool of you if I didn't have to play Russian roulette with you when I try to scale down a node.
I cordoned a drained a node for you to notice, wouldn't it be too hard to let me select which one to put down instead of doing whatever you want?
Thanks.2 -
Capcom's Strider. The sign in russian under the star says this:
International
Democratic
Federation
of Women
🙋♀️
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Possibily the weirdest coincidence I've experienced... I was just searching for, specifically and explicitly, the ebook version of O'Reilly pocket references for a babydev since physical copies, if/when available, are expensive and slow delivery. While googling the PHP one, somehow, 1984 (orwell) in russian was oddly high in the search results.
1984 is my favourite book and I've been meaning to take time to brush up on my russian. Normally I'd blame the result on things like tracking data, but this was via a clean, isolated, never logged into anything, system. The only factors that couldve been skewing results are my explicit locale settings, primary- german/germany, secondary- english/US, additional languages- dutch, russian, arabic, spanish. No other cookies or previous search history and using a static IPv4 that has been allocated, but until a few hours ago, totally unused for ~6mo (part of my /28 block).
It's so serendipitous that I keep mulling over everything trying to figure out wtf I missed... seriously, how the hell does "O'Reilly pocket reference php ebook" return a russian paperback of 1984???
I'm totally gonna find and buy one now too (the actual result is costly, plus would ship from germany so more costly).5 -
i need an adult. I know noone who would understand my worries, so you guys need to be it.
i have a nextcloud running on my raspberry pi. performance is horrible, dont ask, but it works.
i mostly use it to backup the photos of my phone sd card every night when my phone charges. Internally this works good. If i am elseplace it wont for obvious reasons.
In my youthful joy of doom i opened port 443 and forward it to my raspi. I get internet via cable and my ip is pretty much static (it was the same for 10 months). So external access is provided.
Now i thought, its stupid that i cannot sign an ssl certificate cause i dont have a domain. Lets buy domain. But before i do that i did some try runs with duckdns to test the principle.
Some back and forth, it works now. Pretty god, i could even make a cron job on the raspbi to renew (that should work right?). Only problem. randoname.duckdns.org doesnt work internally. Or should not at least.
So i googled a bit and it turns out that my router (a cable fritz!box i bought myself) can be a local network dns. Or cannot. Regardless what i try, it doesnt accept the changed config file.
Now the problem.
It works anyway. randoname.duckdns.org points to my external "static" ip and resolves to that from my internal network..so it works on my phone or laptop. if i traceroute the thing it goes via two hops out and finishes in less than 1ms.
Now to the problem:
I have no fokkin clue why. The expected behaviour would be that it shouldnt work. If i do what i intended todo on pc in the hosts file tracert works correctly, directly pointing to the internal ip.
What i cannot figure out, is it the fritz!box being smart? Is it my ISP being smart?
Reason to rant: i have absolutly NOONE to ask, i know not a single person who would even understand what troubles me. I want to learn, i want to know WHY not just some mindless russian patchwork of "if it works its good enough".
thats depressing.8 -
The black lives matter poster from USSR. It says “First day in ku klux school”, that’s the play on “first day of school” Russian idiom “первый раз в первый класс”. In Russian it’s a rhyme.
10 -
Worked with two different customers
(customer 1 is up to date because of active development and customer 2 got his update long ago)
Changed something for customer 1 and accidently pulled customer 2. 49 changesets (needs a db update probably). Rolledback and now keeping an eye on the error logs -
I wonder if the support girls at this domain registrar company are real girls or just a fake front to appeal to the customers.
The ones I have chatted with so far have russian names.
If they are real girls, that's pretty cool. I appreciate girls in IT industry.
But if they are fake profiles, that's quite shitty of them to manipulate customers like that.4 -
Victor Pelevin is an iconic Russian writer. I won't describe him here (5000 characters is not enough), I just say I think he's one of the greatest if not THE greatest modern author.
Here's the tea (sorry for my bad translation):
"Some of our illusions feel more real than other illusions. A kid is urinating in perfectly real toilet when he's sleeping, he hears a perfectly real sound confirming this, yet he's still unsure.
A grown up, mature man is different only because he also shit himself.
Grown ups have no doubt about reality, that doubt that helps the kid to get closer to the truth. But grown ups have 'scientific explanations' that toilet is real because there is sound of urine, and the sound of urine is real because toilet is made of ceramic, so because of it we all should be working 24/7.
To help grown ups wake up from this 'reality', death exists."1 -
Just watching a documentary about the tsar bomba. It's interesting but I know it ends badly. The russian pussies didn't blow up new york. Weak ass bitches53
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this sucker. Don't make me laugh. Yes, I know what place is that, and yes, I know many of those and most of them rip you off (tho they are good for anyone starting on anything) but no, I'm not interested, Mr. Shady Russian guy.
2 -
If you type “vs” (versus) in a wrong input source on a Russian-English keyboard, it will spell “мы” — literally “us”. A bit of a cheesy take, but we should be “us” instead of “vs”.1
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Google thinks that TRIAC was invented on Dec 19, 1963 by General Electric, but in reality the first TRIAC patent was filed on June 22, 1963 by Russian scientists from Saransk.5
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Fun fact: in russian culture, both the grim reaper and the death itself are female. It's “смерть с косой” — literally “the death with scythe”. The word “death” has she/her pronouns.9
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Igor Girkin (Strelkov) is a putin’s militant. He’s one of the reasons behind the war in Donbas.
The funny thing is, some time ago he was imprisoned by russia for some reason. Yes, putin basically makes his bitch invincible but later imprisons him. AND while detaining him, his fake passport was found. The name there was Sergei Runov, S. Runov for short.
In russian, it basically means something like “Pooperson”, a bit like Chris Paul Bacon shortened to Chris P. Bacon means “crispy bacon”.
He could’ve chosen any name for his fake passport, any name at all. But he chose this.
We truly live in a postmodern era.4 -
I was 7 years old, and my mom’s friend brought me their old computer as a new year present. I was absolutely happy that day, because I wanted my own computer as far back as I can remember. I spent that evening exploring russian psychological (!) sex quiz (!!) with pictures (!!!) :D I found it on C:\
Actually no, there is an earlier memory. I was four, and I really wanted to mess around with my sis’ computer, it was some kind of holiday, maybe the new year as well. They won’t let me do it, and being an engineer, I took a rectangle-shaped candy box and made a “laptop” out of it. I remember drawing the screen, the icons and stuff. And plastic mold that actually handles candy, I turned upside down, and the candy cavities became sort of “buttons” I could press.2 -
Let's play Russian roulette Developer version?
Let's write a PHP script to randomly drop a table in your database.... Hahahahahw2 -
Another part of messy network gone.
Caching fucked me hard....
Isn't it just lovely that nowadays you need to nearly wipe a machine to get it from claiming stale data....
And thanks to DNS, HAProxy -/ service names / ... I think I know now why the curse of babel is so powerful.
When you have to think for 2 mins to make sure you've set the zone's right, cause otherwise you need to ProxyJump with SSH through more tunnels than imaginable (VPN/HO) to fix possible caching on several DNS servers.... You'll realize that it's russian roulette with too much bullets. :(
And If a monitoring service asks another monitoring service for status information which asks the first monitoring service which then asks the second monitoring cause you were too late...
You'll get very funky monitoring statistics.
Too slow, had to nuke it (mismatched a DNS name, the second monitoring service should have been a service node).
I think I've had more near death scenarios in the last 2 weeks than I like.
Hopefully I'll never have to do that again.
(Splitting and reordering a few dozen VLANs, assigning proper DNS names, loadbalancer migration....) -
Depends on which desk we're talking about...
Office desk: an empty can, a tophat well as a demo and some Russian paracetamol I found from a pocket of my winter coat.
Home Office #1 desk: the keyboard for another computer, a plant, a bunch of magazines and newspapers belonging to someone else, a roll of kitchen paper, someone else's meds, a cup of cookies, another cup of small tomatoes, a Swiss army knife, a bike computer and a tablet.
Home Office #2 desk: wife's laptop, a bunch of chargers for a myriad of devices, a Kindle, some envelopes full of stickers, others with bills, a lot of random crap, and usually when I'm at the desk, one or two purring felines -
Luulz
I hate react, ok it is now a knows thing about me...
But i have to maintain a huuuuge app made on react.
And the old developer mixed the nodejs backend with the frontend... And it is already a russian doll mess in components, cuz he seems to develop it during 2 years and only after one year he discovered redux !
Gosh... For a lil simple feature there is so many files involved... Gonna go crazy !
Happy that at least client pay big money for that1 -
Soo since my last rant on my whole f'ed life last December, life has been going on for a while.
I've been married and FINALLY land on 2 part-time job ( both require on site but time is flexible), so I do both currently. But after 2 month or so, I start to have some problem with my health. I've been working 12 hrs a day, not mentioning average 2 hrs on college classes daily, and my body health starts to weaken overtime.
I've lost 7 kg of weight in a single month and another 5 in the second month. ( Granted I as m obese so this is quite a good thing).
While one of the work still under trial period for 3 months, but sign says that I would asked to stay longer. And I can't afford to stop working bcs I need both salaries to help my little family stays afloat.
Wish me luck
*Btw, oot Question, but had anyone here working with an SDK from Russian based Security video management system named Axxon? If yes I want ask some question regarding their SDKs... -
To ship a package of two USB cables from one US city to another. What could be easier for a large company? Well, hold on a little.
I ordered two fucking cables from fucking Nomad at 15TH OF FUCKING JULY, and they are still not shipped. Here's how their customer support works: you send them an email, they reply in like a day or two, and that's it, that email thread is abandoned. They won't visit it again. You should write a whole new message where you say "hey, the previous time you said me X, so I want you to do Y then", and the message title should be different, otherwise they'll ignore it.
My roof is under construction now. When it was raining and there was a rain both inside and outside my apartment, I filmed it and an article about the situation was in my local newspaper in like 20 minutes. Russian government organizations are notorious for ignoring people's requests, shutting down their telephones and doing other shit like that, but in one day I managed to collect the foundation of overhaul, my utilities provider, the foreman of the organization responsible for roof repair, his supervisor and the actual guy that did that job. That same day, they all was at my doorstep, collecting the evidence, signing papers, apologizing, threatening to sue each other and collectively signing a document that states that they owe me either a full financial compensation or an overhaul. I managed to do it in the country where you throw an empty plastic cup at a cop and go to jail for it for five years.
Nomad, tell me, what exactly is stopping me from going full Jackson Pollock with a .45 on your company all over the social media (props to @SortOfTested)? You think I can't handle a mediocre iPhone case manufacturer?
Think again.2 -
elon’s vaporware neuralink? Pffft. Here’s Russian-made NeuroPort — an actual production medical device that helps people to recover from a stroke.
1 -
In Russia, battle rap is huge.
The most viewed battle rap video of all time is Russian "Oxxxymiron vs Slava KPSS" with over 46 million views and one million likes.
As it usually happens in rap, initially the Russian battles was nothing but dick jokes and yo mama puns delivered aggressively, but as the new, intelligent rap culture was brought to life by Oxford graduate Oxxxymiron, Babangida and others, rappers started to see battle rap as a way to express their own ideas and picture of the world.
Today, if you don't know what was the philosophy of Kant and Hegel all about, who is Slavoj Zizek and if you didn't even read Joseph Campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces", they won't call you a retarded loser – they just won't talk to you.
In Russian you can put the words into sentences almost any way you wish, which allows intricate poetry and many additional meanings.
Many see today's Russian battlers as direct descendants of The Golden Age and The Silver Age of Russian poetry. They are just that – more poets than rappers, and they deliver really sophisticated rhyme structures really often.
Despite that, their flow is also solid, with grime, doule-time and even constantly altering flow with the changes performed flawlessly.
Some compact punchlines are so complex that they unfold in a whole new picture as you google trying to understand them. They are virtually untranslatable, requiring a lot of cultural and philosophical context to even scratch a surface.2 -
Get to know the new company better (Changed job shortly before Christmas).
Learn some DPs, DDD, k8s, finish introduction to hacking course, start doing htb and thm machines, finish and defend my thesis, finish books clean code, thinking in java (reading it to fill in gaps on knowledge), a few books about pentesting.
Among non tech goals: pass drivers license exam for cars, another one for motorcycles, go back to learning russian. -
In Russia we have the Jewish Autonomous Region, the only official Jewish land besides Israel.
Here's its flag. Yes. This is the official flag of one of the Russian regions.
We also have rainbows on official flags of THREE cities named "The Rainbow City" (Vladimir oblast, Moscow oblast and HMAO) and on the crest of the political party called "Russian Patriots"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
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A question to those from Slavic countries like Russia:
Do you know this version of the board game Ludo (German: Mensch ärgere dich nicht)?
I did some research and apparently in Russian it’s called Mandavoshka. But I couldn’t find this particular design and the rules seem to be documented nowhere.
Anyway I’m implementing this game for tablets and I'd like to know if this is something that officially exists as a board game or not.
1 -
My grandma died and now I'm gonna inherit that painting of russian prisoner in the gulag. Warms my heart ahah these damn right wingers
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From MorningBrew newsletter
Social Medias Plan Dinner in Group Chat
Facebook: Hey everyone, hoping to plan din for tonight, how do people feel about Thai? Also my handsome son just graduated look how handsome he is
LinkedIn: I endorse your leadership skills in choosing the dinner spot
*MySpace has left the conversation*
Facebook: Thank god lol
Twitter: Well this dinner blew up. I've got nothing to promote, so follow me on SoundCloud
Vine: Haha potatoes
*Vine has left the conversation*
Facebook: Where did Vine go? Vine was hilarious :( also my son is so handsome he got a job
LinkedIn: Where does your handsome son work? Hoping to connect further. Best
Twitter: No idea where Vine went lmao
Venmo: i'll pay you for "dinner"
Snapchat: y so ~sketch~ Venmo
Venmo: My mom has this
Snapchat: tru
Yik Yak: All of you were horrible in your respective high school plays. Everyone laughed at you
Facebook: Can we pivot to Russian for tonight? No reason
Twitter: Look facebook is the evil one
Facebook: JK can't do tonight anymore guys going to Congress. Also my son got a promotion
LinkedIn: Congrats, Handsome Son!1 -
In Russian army, they have this funny tale:
“There is no better vagina
Than the asshole of your comrade
Yes, it smells worse,
But it for sure is tighter!”
In Russian language, everything rhymes perfectly.
Original:
Лучше нет влагалища
Чем очко товарища
Пусть и пахнет хуже,
Зато входит туже!7 -
Fuck JSF! Like seriously! And fuck my internet technologies prof for making us code this horseshit on fucking paper in the goddamn examn! Seriously go fuck yourself and your medieval technologies with a rusty Russian submarine! FUCKING HELL!
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Are anyone familiar with the Russian medium VK, and do anyone agree that their messenger service is better than the facebook one? At least in the way you attatch images
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