Linux is user friendly. It's just very picky about who its friends are.

I was drunk yesterday, watching Mr. Robot.

Woke up with Kali linux booted from a usb and a hacked WiFi password for my annoying vegan neighbor.

The truth is, I don't give two shits if you're a girl, woman, man, black, white, yellow striped with pink polkadots or a transgenderfluid 2headed Ogre kin married to a nuclear penguin from mars- the fact is, what I need you to be is professional. So shut your yapping about your personal shit and get to fecking work.

Do you people know that problem, where you sit down and code for 20 minutes, and suddenly it's 4 hours later?

Saw it somewhere on reddit haha

Pistols are handy

I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....

Just wondering .....

Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"

Nope! Just nope.

Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.

If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.

I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.

I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!

Current me

System.out.println("lol");

They just bought 2 fucking 23" extra monitors for every developer in my org.
FEELS GOOD MAN

Colleague: "Python is slow..too much slow."

Then I look at the code:

Eight nested for loops, inside two of them, two function calls and three list comprehension. That function has 2 nested loops and two "objects.all()" Django method, plus a list comprehension too..

Yep, Python is slow.

Cancelled meetings are my favorite meetings

"You should use Windows server!"

It was a high security project which needed to run very stable. Even the windows sysadmin looked at that guy like 'dude what the actual fuck'.

Advice from my Senior :

"Don't use linux, its crap!"

And here I am using Linux like a boss!

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

That time when I was wrong, the client was wrong, but my algorithm was right.

I'm proud of you son

Took the memory usage of a C++ program from 1.5GB to 700mb at work. Good times...

I fucking love my parents.

Came to visit them again and told them that I might buy an iPhone in the future (I fucking hate apple/i-devices and they know that).

Mom: "You are going to WHAT? Are you okay, son?"
Dad: *walks towards me and puts hand on forehead* "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be that warm. Maybe we should visit a psychiatrist soon."

Me: 😂. mom, dad, I fucking love you.

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

So many open tabs that Goole chrome fails to count them

True! 😂

When you're just coding away in some Coffee Shop and some random guy/girl asks you

"are you trying to hack the wifi" smh

I wanted you to notice that XHR (XML HTTP Request) is an acronym composed by two other acronyms and a word. Thank you for the attention

Me: "Hey, I see you've started your class name with a lowercase letter, It's common practice to start it with a capital letter"

Co-worker that started two weeks ago with almost no experience in c++: "Oh, right. You women and your rules, you must know it then"

Me: *Awkward laugh* *Thinking as long as he changes it i'll let that one slip* *Sends him coding standard guide just in case he doesn't believe me*

-- Two days later --

He still didn't fucking change it. It pains my eyes to look at it each time he asks me for help. Oh and stop calling me "miss", I have a name.

Javascript is wild

‎Nobody needs CSS anyway.

Coworker: "localhost is down"
Me: "See you monday"