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Search - "client demand"
Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...
Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.
Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.
Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.
Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.
Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.
Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.
Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.
Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.
Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.
Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.
Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]
What. The. Fuck.24
Someone please shoot me right now.Or better a blackhole could just collide with earth right now and annihilate everyone and everything!
We are supposed to launch the app this coming Friday and as of Monday this week everything was OK.
Just yesterday this client came up with dozens of changes that demand a major rewrite of the backend.
The thing with this client is that she doesn't realize I deal with the mobile apps and not the APIs.Right now am headed to the management office to explain why the app is not updated after she sent this email today morning.
This is not the first time she has demanded changes a week to the launch and i feel like i should stand up to her but you know, i have bills to pay.10
Always tell junior devs the same.
You'r not going to become the senior dev or architect you have in your grand vision by sitting around this company fulfilling mundane tickets.
Start thinking through new ideas, possibilities, software that you think could really help a specific niche Or pick a model that already exists. The ideas prior existence doesn't matter but having a new idea that has potential has always inspired me to keep pursuing it.
Break out lucid charts, learn how to map out your domain objects and their relationships. Build out a service map of how you want things to work together. You dont have to know how context boundaries or demilitarized zones work or any that technical jargon. At the end of the day those concepts <should> develop organically and then the jargon will come to you like "oh thats the term for this". Some people learn better from knowing and then implementing. I usually come to it organically then learn about it later. Thats the point of this though. Read up on it, understand enough to map it out and then start building them out.
Use a language you want to be proficient in but are not. Use a framework you want to understand but do not. If theres an auth protocol in high demand that meets your needs but you do not understand, run with it. You'r proficient with mysql; mongo would also be a good fit for the business needs but you've never used it. Perfect, use mongo then.
Find avenues of improvement down the line. Maybe the simple records resource server would be a good candidate for GraphQL. Pull in a pub/sub to increase service communication/aggregation, learn websockets to maintain a vital client interface. If you dont know what the fuck im talking about, perfect! Jump in there. Start small, build up, tinker.
You'll meet soul sucking blockers all along the way and thats the biggest thing that separates seniors from juniors is having worked through these issues before, time and time again. Embrace failure, embrace change, maintain initiative because you can be another miserable dev that keeps the cogs turning making a decent 50k salary or you can be a positive catalysis.16
Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."
Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."
Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "
Yes, Mr. Client. It is extremely wise of you to demand changes on release-day. Of course it won't go smoothly, untested and buggy as it will be.
I have a Windows machine sitting behind the TV, hooked to two controllers, set up as basically a console for the big TV. It doesn't get a lot of use, and mostly just churns out folding@home work units lately. It's connected by ethernet via a wired connection, and it has a local static IP for the sake of simplicity.
In January, Windows Update started throwing a nonspecific error and failing. After a couple weeks I decided to look up the error, and all the recommendations I found online said to make sure several critical services were running. I did, but it appeared to make no difference.
Yesterday, I finally engaged MS support. Priyank remoted into my machine and attempted all the steps I had already tried. I just let him go, so he could get through his checklist and get to the resolution steps. Well, his checklist began and ended with those steps, and he started rather insistently telling me that I had to reinstall, and that he had to do it for me. I told him no thank you, "I know how to reinstall windows, and I'll do it when I'm ready."
In his investigation though, I did notice that he opened MS Edge and tried to load Bing to search for something. But Edge had no connection. No pages would load. I didn't take any special notice of it at the time though, because of the argument I was having with him about reinstalling. And it was no great loss to me that Edge wasn't working, because that was literally the first time it'd ever been launched on that computer.
We got off the phone and I gave him top marks in the CS survey that was sent, as it appeared there was nothing he could do. It wasn't until a couple hours later that I remembered the connectivity problem. I went back and checked again. Edge couldn't load anything. Firefox, the ping command, Steam, Vivaldi, parsec and RDP all worked fine. The Windows Store couldn't connect either. That was when it occurred to me that its was likely that Windows Update was just unable to reach the internet.
As I have no problem whatsoever with MS services being unable to call home, I began trying to set up an on-demand proxy for use when I want to update, and I noticed that when I fill out the proxy details in Internet Options, or in Windows 10's more windows10-ish UI for a system proxy, the "save" button didn't respond to clicks. So I looked that problem up, and saw that it depends on a service called WinHttpAutoProxySvc, which I found itself depends on something called IP Helper, which led me to the root cause of all my issues: IP Helper now depends on the DHCP Client service, which I have explicitly disabled on non-wifi Windows installs since the '90s.
Just to see, I re-enabled DHCP Client, and boom! Everything came back on. Edge, the MS Store, and Windows Update all worked. So I updated, went through a couple reboots-- because that's the name of the game with windows update --and had a fully updated machine.
It occurred to me then that this is probably how MS sends all its spy data too, and since the things I actually use work just fine, I disabled DHCP Client again. I figure that's easier than navigating an intentionally annoying menu tree of privacy options that changes and resets with every major update.
But holy shit, microsoft! How can you hinge the entire system's OS connectivity on something that not everybody uses?9
You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!2
Sacrificed my Diwali and made a website for my first client and did not get any payment.
I was new and less confident.
Well this is my freelance horror story.
Now I fucking demand money from client UPFRONT.1
agency lesson 10motherfucking1 . Never take your project managers demands and run with them. Ask 10s, 100s of questions if needed. Layout every little aspect of the project and every little demand and every little asset needed.
They will fuck you in your ass and turn every eye on you when the client gets angry. They will fucking ruin you for the sake of their job.
Cover your ass in every way possible. Do not let your asshole manager define how shit is going down because (say it with me) THOSE WHO CAN DO! THOSE WHO CANT MANAGE!1
At the first few meetings, told us they are giving sponsors to World Cup 2018 and we should totally talk about it loudly on media.
Then when we submitted our plan, they said things have changed and they no longer can mention about World Cup. We had to redo everything.
Now, they blame us that our service quality is so bad that we should learn from *some refernce* company. Said company is only talking about their sponsorship for World Cup.
Bought smallest package from us. Demand services greater than our largest package.
Gave us an information of a name spelled in "Barbu". We used that spelling and used it for various tasks in past few weeks. All approved by client.
Blamed us we are giving such a poor service that we cannot even spell "Babu" correctly this morning.1
Dear fellow developers: Let's talk about the Internet. If you're reading this post, you've probably heard of it and are comfortable using it on a regular basis. You may even develop software that works over the internet, and that's fine and great! But you have to draw the line somewhere, and that line has been pushed farther and farther back as time goes on.
Let's talk about video games. The first game that really got me into FPSes was Team Fortress 2. Back in the day, it had a great community of casual and competitive groups alike, and there were hats! Underneath the hood was a massive number of servers. Some were officially hosted, some were run by independent communities. It had a built-in browser and central index where you could find every publically-available server and connect to it. You could even manually input connection details if that failed. In my opinion, this was a near-perfect combination of optimal user-experience and maximum freedom to run whatever the hell you wanted to. Even today, if Valve decided to stop hosting official servers, the smaller communities could still stay afloat. Fifteen years in the future, after all demand has died off, someone can still recover the server software and play a game with their kids.
Now, contrast that to a game like Overwatch. Also a very pivotal game in the FPS world, and much more modern, but what's the underlying difference in implementation? NO SUPPORT FOR SELF-HOSTED SERVERS. What does that mean when Blizzard decides to stop hosting its central servers? IT DIES. There will be no more multiplayer experience, not now, not ever. You will never be able to fully share this part of your history with future generations.
Another great example is the evolution of voice chat software. While I will agree that Discord revolutionized the market, it took away our freedom to run our own server on our own hardware. I used to run a Mumble server, now it has fallen out of use and I miss it so much.
Over time, client software has become more and more dependent on centrally-hosted services. Not many people will think about how this will impact the future usability of the product, and this will kill our code when it becomes legacy and the company decides to stop supporting it. We will have nothing to give to future generations; nobody will be able to run it in an emulator and fully re-experience it like we can do with older games and software.
This is one of the worst regressions of our time. Think about services like IRC, SMTP, SSH, even HTTP, how you're so easily able to connect to any server running those protocols and how the Internet would change if those were replaced with proprietary software that depended on a central service.
(Relevant talk (16:42): https://youtu.be/_e6BKJPnb5o?t=1002)8
husband relays to me his boss laughing when a client made a ridiculous demand and flat out tells him no and all I can think is I wish my boss and pm's were that bold and cool. bullshit.1
We had a school project where we where supposed to implement a software with a heavy client in C# and web services for it in C#, but the web services HAD TO COMMUNICATE WITH SMTP AND IMAP. And do that in 8 days.
We were 6 in the team. 4 had no idea what a web service is, and I and the designated project lead were the only ones knowing what to do. The lead had paperwork to do for the project, so I had to do everything but the UI alone. So 1 guy did the UI, 3 were... Playing Minecraft... The lead was doing paperwork and ranting about how noisy idiots these guys were... And I was sick as hell and could not eat anything, I was vomiting all day in between which moment I managed to make half of the functionalities of the project, despite having to go to the hospital and have to continue working despite the medical request not to work.
So the day before the presentation I had half of the functionalities done and I had to explain them yet another time what web services are so they can answer the questions and cover for themselves.
On the day of the presentation it went kinda fine. It was not finished but it worked like asked.
We were asked for peer evaluation and I gave A to the lead and the UI guy and B to the 3 other lazy asses.
Shortly after I am called by the tutor in the office : "What happened on this project? Were you not working at all? Apart for the lead who gave you an A, every one gave you a D (lowest grade). I demand for explanations"
I said never mind and got back to studying. I got a B, all the rest of the group an A.2
Not being able to persuade the client that storing plain text passwords so that they can send them to their users when they forget them is not the best way to handle user accounts.
This happened in 2012 but it still hunts me like it was yesterday.
Before you all demand to ban me from devRant, I’d like to say that we impelemented an alternative (unpaid!) for this, but were requested to disable it.3
Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."
I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.3
YouTube iframes or iframes in general are the worst things ever made or either client who demand it instead of using video.js8
Got a pretty epic message yesterday:
"Hi, I just had a friend on phone and we got a rather "simple" idea for a website.
Just a user ID and a password users would pay for. Then they would get access to their videos.
We are willing to pay 350 bucks for a working version and up to 680 depending on the result at the end of the project.
Know anyone that could be interested? Or would you be?
Have a good night. "
Building CMS for one of our client on demand. Young client seemed to be pretty upset, when we told him, that all the functionality including all the forms had to be build from scratch. He told us, he thought it is there in the computer "by nature" and does not need to be programmed.
!rant - what is everyone's take on React Native? I've been asked to put together a team to develop an MVP for a client. Rather than pull together an IOS and Android dev I was gonna get a React Native developer.
it's an on-demand service, will be looking to utilise Google Maps API, likely will sit on AWS and will also have a website where people can manage their account.
Given that it's an on-demand service there will also need to be a "user" side to it as well as a "service provider" side.
Do we think React Native is mature enough to handle this? I don't have much / any experience with it, but I'm hearing more and more - "Why don't you use react native?"3
Finished building an app for a client and sent it to them. Messaged them every week for a month asking if things were OK and if they needed any assistance (no invoice sent either). 6 weeks later I wake up to a stream of emails and missed calls about a small bug that they demand being fixed immediately because of an urgent business need. Fixed the bug. Sent invoice. It's been nearly 2 months and still waiting for payment. FML.3
When the client gets pissed that it looks like there is no progress on their site but everything has been back-end work and front-end is only 20%.
Then they demand a refund on a holiday... in 2014... and their domain is STILL a parked page even though they were 5 days from completion in 2014.
Hey remote workers.
What would be your advice for someone with experience that's interested in exploring remote work.
I'd like to target this question to remote workers that live outside USA/EU/UK. Say South America, South Asia.
A little introduction.
I'm a full stack engineer, did one project in embedded systems with QT/C++/RPI can do backend in Python, Node, Java, C#. I have some experience with React Native (just 2 apps)
I currently I do full stack with Node, React, postgres and caching with couchdb.
I gather requirements, write the projects, proposals and then I do the implementation. (Really full stack, I kinda like it though, when I'm bored with code I pick up an issue and contact the client to socialize/get answers. I found out that nondevs like to feel they talk to a human not a robot)
I'm making about 600usd/month (dev in a poor country) working 30hrs /week. I'd like to ramp up my income, working remote part time to fill up about 50hr week.
What can I expect?
Where do I start?
Are there part time opportunities for working remote?
What kind of roles are in demand?9
I almost looked for every possible source but is not satisfied or not found optimum way or path.
Actually i have to build a netflix clone (not exactly but a video on demand platform for one local client). The tech stack will be React at the frontend and DRF (Django Rest Framework) at the backend.
I know the node will match my purpose at best, but this needs to be done on DRF. How should I return the video, should I return it in bytes, packets and what can sample code look like, how frontend should fetch it. It will really help if you put your insight, in general. Thank you5
So the product has been labeled "ready for launch" for months, but the client has apparently been procrastinating and weren't ready.
Finally, earlier this week, they claimed they were set for launch, and that I should prepare the final bits.
And now they demand additional functionality which requires refactoring code.
Sigh. Why, oh why?1