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Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁60 -
My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.20
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The creation of an e-ink usb stick showing how much space is in use was to this day one of the best things lexar ever did.
19 -
Wife discovered MS Paint on her laptop.
She asked me how long the ink would last and how to recharge it when it's finished.
I love her anyway.11 -
This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
The project where I realized I wanted to go from chemist to pro dev.
I built a flow-chemistry spectrometer with monitoring backend in Haskell.
Spectroscopy is where you add a reagent to a glass tube, it changes color, and by measuring the exact color it tells you how much of something (for example, a toxin) is present in the sample.
I had to do that a lot on factory samples, writing down measurements using pen & paper.
I'm lazy so I decided to do the logical thing: Automate it. I bought a second hand spectrometer, stripped the casing, did a shitload of glassblowing and hooked up tubes to the production pipelines, so I could get samples, mixing them in the correct ratio with reagents in continuous flows using valves.
I ended up using 2 home-crafted arduino-like boards (etching PCBs is fun!).
One to calibrate the mixture against known samples and control solenoid valves to continuously cycle through various reagents and deionized flushing water, the other to record the measurements and send them to a server running a Haskell/Yesod API.
The server collected the information into InfluxDB (A time series database), displaying all data on a graphite dashboard.
Eventually I wrote Haskell plugins for most of the chemistry processes, from pH & temperature measurements to polymer property and pigment tests (they made a lot of printer ink).
Then I was fired because they didn't need chemists anymore, and the code "could be maintained by the intern" (poor guy)...
But I did find out that I loved functional programming, chemistry automation projects, and crafting my own electronics during that time.16 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
From my years at college employment:
A student brought in his personal printer to help desk, complaining that the printer is printing red streaks, when he only has black ink installed.
Opened up the printer, found a packet of ketchup stuck in there.2 -
So my actual job is being a nurse at the local hospital, with coding being just a hobby. However, the way some IT–Related things are treated here are just mind-blowing. Here are some examples:
Issue: Printer is not recognized by network anymore due to not being properly plugged in
Solution: Someone has to tell the house technician, if the house technician is currently not available, ask his assistant who only works part time and like twice a week. House technician took the printer (God knows why), came back 2 days later and plugged it back in.
Issue: Printer 1 of 2 on ICU has run out of ink and since all computers default to printer 1, nobody can print.
Solution: Call the house technician, blah blah, house technician comes, takes ink cartridge of printer 2 and puts it into printer 1.
Issue: Public WiFi is broken, can be connected to but internet access is missing. Probably config issue as a result of a recent blackout.
Solution: Buy a new router, spend 5 days configuring it and complain about how hard networking is.
Issue: Computer is broken, needs to be exchanged with a new one, but how do we transfer the data?
Solution: Instead of just keeping the old hard drive, make a 182GB backup, upload it to the main file server and then download it again on the new computer.
Issue: Nurse returns from vacation, forgot the password to her network account.
Solution: Call the technician who then proceeds to open a new account, copies all the files from the old one and tells her to pick an easier password this time. She chooses "121213".12 -
That "WOW" feeling when your rant crosses 1k mark and is one of the top 10 rants ever... #awesome #lifegoals
Link to shower more ++s: https://devrant.io/rants/163332/...
4 -
Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞4
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I have the house all to myself. Twenty years ago, I'd be throwing a party. Today I look forward to all the uninterrupted coding.9
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So my fucking shit Epson printer can't print black and white without colour ink cartridges. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING MONEY SUCKING PIECE OF SHITE.24
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You might know by now that India demonetized old higher value notes and brought in new one. The new ones easily tear off easily and generally feel cheaper and less reliable than pervious ones.
One interesting thing people discovered is that rubbing it with cloth makes the ink transfer to the cloth. Sign of crap printing. Here's government response:
The new currency notes have a security feature called 'intaglio printing'. A genuine currency note can be tested by rubbing it with a cloth; this creates a turbo-electric effect, transferring the ink colour onto the cloth
TL;DR: its not a bug, it's a feature7 -
This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant11 -
Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.
Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?
Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.28 -
Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.10
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This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4 -
I ended up quitting my first job for many reasons, but this talk still haunts me:
"our workers need to input this data and they tab a lot because [...]"
Me: "ok... Where do they get the data from?
"A standard model compiled via web, sent via mail and then printed for them."
Me: "..."
Them: "..."
Me: "how about we make the import automatic?"
Them: "but then what will our workers do?"
To this day I am still impacted by this dialog... Not much for the stupidity from a business logic point of view (there are many bad companies, and this is not the only one I met in my career), but rather for the implications our job has and for the fact bs jobs are a thing because we are SO used to the capitalism that the bad guys are the ones removing boring tasks, rather than the shitty system which forces you to do a repetitive and automatable task and which reduces you to a shell doing a job a machine could do... And thanks for the wasted paper/ink, global warming ain't gonna get worse on its own!2 -
There is power cut in my college area sometimes...
Once we were in computer lab, when power cut occurred. So fan, tubelights went off.
I heard one girl ask her friend "how are laptops on?"
That moment.... Only I know how I controlled my laugh....1 -
So this client wanted a very specific layout, with a very specific keycaps set. And an ALT function that would print the "shrug" text emoji.
Say hello to this
64 key, full CNC aluminum case
Gateron Ink Black switches (lubed)
Super thiccc 2.5 mm brass plate,
Keycaps set
MT3 profile Susuwatari set.
Love the profile and how they keycaps hug your finger up while typing.
I think it might be time for me to gather pieces to build my own as a gift in the future
24 -
Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"
Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....6 -
So I've been playing some DnD with friends.
And we've been working with some lego characters, whiteboard markers and plastic sheets to draw on.
But that's always a mess:
The ink was old and did not come off again for the most part
The sides of the map curled up and and made the lego character fall over
The lego characters were too big
And more...
So I thought, why not make it digital?
And so I did.
I used UWP to make a master and a client, both using the Windows Ink api to be able to draw.
Some circles with an initial served as characters, and everything was synchronized using a TCP library I wrote half a year ago.
Yesterday we tried it out.
We all (including me) were sceptical if it would work well because the 'analog' clumsy way we did it before does have a certain charm.
But at the end we were all very enthousiastic about it and we'll be using it next time too!
It's awesome to be able to create programs for your own use :D
That's why being able to program is such a great thing!
Now I need to restructure everything, make it more efficient, add a turn order display, make the map zoom- and moveable and more and more....
20 -
MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....8
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Just found an admin portal online. There was a modal asking for password, but in background the portal was visible. ctrl + shift + i and then closed the modal.
Voila, the whole portal and actions are accessible. Seriously, who develops things like these?
I am pretty sure it's vulnerable to sqli and xss too.8 -
700 years ago, some monk scraped down the ink from a book, so he could reuse it to write down his stupid prayers.
Recent analysis uncovered that the book he scraped was “Method” by Archimedes that outlined the basics of calculus 1000 years before Leibniz.
It makes me feel miserable and helpless when I think how more advanced our world would be if it didn’t happen. I realize he probably didn’t go like “hehehehe I’m erasing scientific knowledge because religion is better”, and just did what he thought was better, but I feel bad nonetheless.
16 -
"PLEASE COME QUICKLY OUR INTERNAL NETWORK IS FUCKED!
-Uh, mam', could you describe the problem?"
Spent an hour, trying to fix this "network issue". Basic level 1 and 2 support. Can't connect using RDP on the server. No teamviewer either. Unplug, replug everything. Restart the server, the router, the switches. I knew that it was something dumb. I spent 3h on the highway.
To find.
That the fucking.
Ethernet cable.
Was plugged oN THE MOTHER FUCKING ILO PORT! FUCK HP, FUCK THIS, FUCK ME BECAUSE I SHOULD'VE ASKED FOR A PHOTO.
"It's fixed, mam'. Did you touch something when it was working?
-Uh, no, I swear. Also, could you please take a look at our printer? It's not working. It was out of ink so I changed the cartridge yesterday, but today it's not working!"
The cartridge was not inserted correctly.
Then she nicely made me a coffee, thanking me for the fix and asking what the problems were.
Just kidding.4 -
I pranked my friends ex, nothing bad, just fun. First i screen shorted is desktop, flipped it and made it his new desktop. Then flipped the resolution, so my upsideiwn bf was cool. Lastly I change his mouse behavior, I set it for reversed.
Fun right? A typical person might get a lil pussy and have to fix it. Some might even fix it themselves. Regardless have a lil chuckle.
He smashes the monitor and keyboard, left them, both in a pile.3 -
Got rejected in interview for Web developer... Interviewer showed company website and asked if it's made in html or WordPress... I said html which was wrong...
Am I incompetent? How can I predict the platform just by looking at UI...?30 -
Had last paper today... Finally 4 yrs of engineering comes to an end. I am a proud computer engineer....17
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"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"
HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.
STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU4 -
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.8 -
Was told I need to code so it will be ie8 compatible. I guess there going to want me to get out my feather and ink and saddle up the horse to deliver info as well.3
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Is "++i" more efficient or "i++" ?
P.S. I already wasted more cpu cycles by posting this, than I would ever waste by using either of them....8 -
That moment when you make heads turn, coz you are using laptop with loads of devRant sticker on it in metro.....
Feeling l33t..... -
My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.
I wish he doesn't come back only....3 -
How long will it be before clients "get it" the web is a fluid medium it can't and shouldn't be fixed like ink on paper. Unless I do your website as a set of jpegs, you dickhead.3
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Why is it so hard to just build machines that work without all this ideological bullshit? Code doesn't care if politics==true. The world is scary enough without you assholes making modern life a data minefield for even the most educated experts, and taking advantage of the ignorance of everyone else. Fuck you.
I just wanna <look at web pages> without having to consider, counteract, or silently assist some fucking regime. Why is EVERYTHING this way? Everything is a back door or a data mine or a political statement? This isn't a fucking art piece! It's not your espionage tool, fucking codes in invisible ink and tiny cameras and shit everywhere! It's a <web browser>, and if it does ANYTHING besides <browse the web> that I didn't explicitly tell it to do, you better better not be the one who made it. Because if you did, you are what's wrong with the world.6 -
I have this project manager that is stuck in the 90s.
I have to constantly get their approval. I ask several questions in an email. I get only one question answered, the last one, everytime.4 -
Well I FUCKING FINALLY managed to build a program that makes my dad's printer print automatically.
Have ranted about this on my previous rant.
My recent approach was actually overengineered all over the top. I was using pyautogui to simulate the mouse that would call the settings window on Windows, which would print a nozzle test (the translation for "Düsentestmuster" according to google?). The more I worked with it, the more I would have had to care about edge cases when calling the settings and god knows what else...😖
So I left the idea.
What I came up with was a python script with some copy-pasted code of an example from the win32print api that printed an image that I specified, so it would use all inks. Somehow it works perfectly...
After that I used the win32api. ShellExecute() with ghostscript to print a PDF for the PGBK ink.
Finally a batch script to run this python script on the task scheduler. No converted .exe as dependencies and whatnot let it all go to hell.😒
It's not quite what I had originally anticipated as a solution but IT FINALLY FUCKING WORKS!!
...😪 It took way longer than expected and although I somehow couldn't manage to print all on 1 paper, I'm still satisfied that it really works.
That's all, had to vent my frustration and share this personal success.12 -
Printers come straight from hell!
I visited my grandma. She told me that she has a problem with her printer. I printed something (b/w) and looked at it. It looked really bad. The printer showed an error message saying that there's a problem with the color cartridge. I took it out, put it back in and printed again. It looked perfect. But the message appeared again.
Every time my grandma wants print or copy something (even in black and white) she needs to take out this cartridge, put it back in and pray.
One time I printed something with my paper. I have the right paper for it (A4). The printer scaled it down...
IT PRINTED A VERSION FOR ANTS!
It took several attempts and wasted paper and ink but FINALLY it came out nearly perfect.
Printers are the worst devices I've ever worked with.
3 -
Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.6 -
My No.1 interview question for UX developers:
What are the CSS default text and background colours?
The correct answer is: "undefined-on-undefined".
If your 1st thought was "black-on-white", you're the reason we can't have nice things.24 -
Had this PM who would call me while intoxicated mid afternoon. He would come up with these random ideas, and request them be implemented into the web app we were building for him. One time he called me saying "I have an idea for a page, but so far just the page's title. I'll call you back and tell you what to put on it."5
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I was 11-12, the year was 1995. My mom was so sick of me screwing up the business computer (286), she bought me an old XT at a garage sale. It had a monochrome monitor and a 40 kB HDD. I taught myself qbasic on it. I knew right there I wanted to build stuff in code for a living.
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Working on Sunday because deadline is next week.
P.S. We got project yesterday.... Wish me luck.....2 -
today I spent an hour and a half (30 mins past my paid hours) explaining go my boss that I'm not just being rebellious; that the time I'm taking to do the job right is appropriate and the only way to end up with a piece of software that they'll be able to request features for without adding on to the absolute shit pile frankenkrakken that is their mutated 13 year old OSCOMMERCE dumpsterfire.
I convinced him. -
Stickers made it to Niagara! Not the first set either, we have a solid dev community up here. Thanks for the stickers @dfox!
1 -
Soo my dad has a food printer he uses to print edible images on cakes our customers order. The food printer needs to run at least once a week (regularly) to kinda guarantee not to get fucked up with its ink, as that can damage the printer when it's dry. My dad though doesn't have regular orders...
The printer has a standard function to test all colors.
My dad asked me how this task could be managed regularly, as I'm the IT guy 🙄. His idea was to log all the dates on paper.
Now I'm trying to automate this task via Windows so we don't have to care about papers to manually log when the next test must run. On Windows the printer settings can be accessed to run this color check.
... I've got a feeling this will be another one of those tasks that I will overengineer over the top😅. I've already done my research with automated batch jobs (never done batch before) but the normally proposed code for a "Düsentestmuster", so the color check, prints a different overview I was not expecting, which doesn't fit the purpose.
Now I'm here and, as I currently see no way of simplifying it, I have to kinda simulate a person that opens these settings and runs this check. With Python, pyautogui and Tesseract OCR, to prevent the program from clicking anything wrong. Although I'm sure there should be an easier way for this, I haven't found it, so I guess I have to proceed on this path and take the experience I gain as a bonus...10 -
So my boss got a call from a company, trying to sell a piece of software supposed to monitor your ink levels and send you an email, if they are running low, so that IT has a chance to send new before the old one runs out.
They wanted something like 20$/month/printer, so guess what I'm developing now...3 -
' "productivity" software':
trying to format a document in Word / Libre Office,
text defaults to some condensed serif font,
any at-sign, "http" or "www" automatically generates a hyperlink in an ink-blue color,
formatting and alignment of lines or paragraphs causes unrelated other elements to change unless you make sure to use tables, tables, and nested tables everywhere like it's Netscape 20032 -
My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?10
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That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....10
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Tech head fires a mail few days company is planning a hackathon. Overnight at office, with food, music and home drop offs in morning. We devs feel excited we will get time to work on our personal projects and complete them.
Yesterday, tech head fires a mail about the topics. Guess what? The topics are projects which company needs to scale up... Image recognition and text extraction. Selenium. Esign.
Now I am searching for an excuse to skip the hackathon...4 -
Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problem.
3 database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out. Because they couldn't find a table.
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows xp or better."
Does that mean it will run on Linux?1 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
in the early 2000's I started installing Firefox on my high school's computers. about a month later it was being deployed to every one of them2
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I've tried so many ways for that at night or during walk spark of bug solving ideas:
- fluorescent ink on regular paper
- florescent mini whiteboards
- "alexa remind me.."
- writing down in my phone
- recording on my phone
-..
But all of those due to my short term memory made me forget half the things by the time I opened the fucking phone/app, found where to grab the pen or the whole dance for alexa, to remember the exact phrase I have to spell out, when it should remind me, what time,..
Earlier today I remembered how I had a little tape voice recorder I used to use a ton, thankfully that tech advanced by now and found myself a stereo mic setup little voice recorder that can also act as an mp3 player!
Went for a walk today, while listening to some podcasts, then it hit me as usual on how to fix and implement some things that were awkward at best on paper when I left home, pressed the record button, recorded it and went straight back to music mode, which remembered where I left off!
I'm so indescribably happy, I ordered quite a bunch of the same to just throw around everywhere, at the bed, in the bathroom, kitchen, for walking outside, everywhere haha7 -
Web security checklist:
https://troyhunt.com/reckon-youve-s...
Don't forget to bleach your eyes after reading...4 -
In reference to:
https://devrant.com/rants/2333925/...
Ideas are commonplace things. Just as a challenge today, in a two hour span, I came up with exactly 100 commercially viable ideas, some of which haven't even been tried yet by anyone that I know of.
This is me humblebragging, but it highlights an important lesson:
Good ideas are *genuinely* not worth the bytes or ink it takes to write them if you don't have the skill, connections, marketing, or cash to carry them forward.
I guarantee you, if you aggregated the commercially viable ideas of all the people on this platform, the list would number in the hundreds, probably in the thousands. And the list would be different every week.
Good ideas happen frequently enough because good ideas are a subset of the *ocean* of nonviable and stupid ideas that we all stumble on constantly, every day.
Like finding a needle in a stack of hay..or a nugget of golden corn by digging through piles and piles of steaming shit. It's a numbers game.2 -
Reanimated an old e-ink tablet today.
First, I didn't even know it needed to be reanimated. I just copied my books there, but it didn't find them. When I connected it again, they were gone.
Factory reset. Format storage. The memory seems empty, but after rebooting I see that everything is still intact.
Ok, imma hit forums then. They tell me I need to replace the internal memory. But isn't that something you need soldering for? Wrong! The internal memory IS JUST A MICRO SD CARD on the motherboard. The card is some cheap no name one, and people tell the similar story of it burning out after like four years of use.
Damn! The vendor has the AUDACITY to charge for signing their firmware to be flashed to a new micro sd card.
But I won't go down this easily. I hit forums again, and apparently there is a tool to sign the firmware yourself, but you need to find the card's serial number. To do that, you have to flash a bootleg tool, boot from that card, and it will show you the data you need. Then, you have to insert them into some shady .ini file (why is everything touching bootleg firmware runs only on windows?).
So I do that. The problem is, I need an image for my book. I find some shady one online, sign & flash it — touchscreen doesn't work. But I have the official firmware. I put two and two together and figure out that if the reader is able to display the ui, it probably has the firmware update tool working. So, immediately after flashing, I launch the firmware update utility that picks up my firmware from the second sd card (yes, they have an additional external slot).
Bingo. It works.
So, here are the steps:
1. Find a shady sd serial number detection tool
2. Flash it on a memory card with a shady vendor-specific flashing tool
3. Insert the new (now shady) card
4. Boot, write down the serial number
5. Find a shady boot image online
6. Edit a shady .ini file of a shady self-signing tool to sign the shady boot image
7. Flash the altered shady boot image with the shady flashing tool on your memory card
8. Copy a shady firmware update on a new card
9. Insert both cards
10. Pray4 -
Just a bit of time ago, I opened my printer, I connected it to my PC and a message on the screen popped up, saying "your print cartridges are counterfeit".
Wtf, I bought them at a normal, very well known italian technology store.
Turns out, they were just dried out, so I had to rub the part where ink comes out (I don't know what's it called, forgive me 😅) and all was good.
The best part of this was that, when the message popped up, it also said "discover the advantages of buying *original* HP cartridges", with a button underneath it saying "HP Rewards".
Ffs.
[ Inspired by https://www.devrant.io/rants/703435 ]5 -
Not a part of the test, but the test itself.
Imagine having to write in a language you don't really know with a pen and paper.
Glad I didn't get the job there because holy moly was that a pain in the ass.1 -
When a Google image search on your company name turns up more images of "ME" than the co-founders... Amazing feeling... One of the perks of working in start ups...2
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Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job. -
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.
7 -
wooooo!! finally got my stickers!!! many thanks from Mexico @dfox
and you should consider checking your toner... kinda running out of ink... xD
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"Most electronics work better while turned *on*. The rest are made by HP"
Fucking printer will not only *not* print my stuff but will also make hellish noises, print the same "hello world!" page six times in a row, jam paper in the seventh and spit expensive ink on its own mechanism while there is not even paper in it.
Fucking outdated cellulose-based bureaucracy. Govt' websites are far from perfect but yet are closer to it than presenting fucking tree-meat slabs unecessary covered in colourful liquid gold.2 -
Doing a talk on 'Security in PHP' and live demo on web attacks and safeguard tips this Saturday. Any tips fellow Ranters...?13
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# NEED SUGGESTIONS
I am working on a secure end to end encrypted note taking web application. I am the sole developer and working on weekends and will make it open source.
The contents you save will be end to end encrypted, and server won't save the key, so even I can't read or NSA or CIA.
So I wanted to know if the idea is good? There are lot of traditional note sharing apps like Google Keep and Evernote. But they store your stuff in plaintext. So as a user will u switch to this secure solution?14 -
That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....
*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working.... -
The more I show up to the office to tackle impossible client demands, the more I realize that I am living in the world of The Expert.
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg1 -
Just found out that I have been reassigned to maintain an in house shitty project... It's full of crap code, no documentation, has lot of duct tapes to keep the project together and 20+ open bugs and issues...
I am so happy with my current project. But my manager is always pissed off at me for no apparent reason.
Fuck this shit... Any excuse or advice to dodge this BS project? Can't quit job, I am getting payed alot here.7 -
A few years ago a client who sold printer ink on eBay and Amazon wanted to branch out to another store, so I grudgingly began to implement the new API, I followed all the API docs but no matter what, I couldn’t get it to work, eventually I contacted their support and was told it should work. Turns out the test API was faulty and that they had no interest in fixing it instead suggested we tried test data on their live account. I refused and for once the PM agreed with me and went back to the client saying the problem was the retailer.
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Completed 1 year of experience in web designing and development today...
I haven't even passed out yet. I am still in 4th year computer engineering....
Hands on experience teaches me more than college lectures.... -
I just love when a client sends me a picture of text, then complains when the price of the project goes up. Time is money.
-
So I was thinking about SSL and trying to understand it (random thought that just came up while eating lunch). I came up with this analogy, not sure if maybe I've heard it before... Is this understanding correctly?
A and B want to send letters but make sure no one other than them can get in on the conversation or impersonate them.
Each is able to create a pen and glasses that must be used to see the ink.
So when they first connect, they exchange the pens.
So even if a middle man can duplicate the pen he can't actually read what anyone is saying. And if he tried to write something, the receiver will know it's not sent by the other since it makes no sense. So they then write a new letter and agree to send each other new pens and use new glasses?1 -
Do you know what YotaPhone 2 is? Second screen is e-ink, made by a small Russian co, with meh specs.
Dammit why do you push anOTA update that COMPLETELY fucks up the e-ink function?
Now the only reason I kept this... Thing... Fades fast. >.< -
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.
4 -
I backed this Kickstarter project for a programmable E-ink display called "Displio". The documentation is about 40 lines and is basically just a list of globals without any explanation followed by a link to MomentJS docs. worst of all you have to modify the page with an inspector to see it all.
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Sure, boss.. All charts will be changed to 3d so that your clients can spend a Fuck ton of ink printing that report page.. That's become fucking ugly cause of your stupid nonsense. Why the Fuck should 3d plotted charts be more readable? 😤1
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https://devrant.io/static/devrant/...
The girl at the bottom needs a tooltip above her:
,{shiposting loudly}2 -
Too much division fellow devs.
We will never know world peace until 3 people can look each other in the eye...Simultaneously
Youtu.be/UjVoJn7BWdY2 -
My setup, seeing that people are posting theirs.
+ BenQ 22" monitor
+ Custom-built PC
+ Fried i7 motherboard :(
+ Working i3 motherboard
+ 2 Green fans (top, back)
+ 2 Red fans (front)
+ (not-working-well) CD/DVD disk
+ 2G WD hard drive (not SSD :( )
+ 4-port USB 3.0 hub
+ SD card reader (with 3 more storage devices it can read)
+ Webcam
+ HP DeskJet Ink Advantage
+ Horrible mechanical keyboard
+ Special keys (music player, play/pause, next/prev, etc.)
+ Mouse that doesn't stop glowing
+ Awesome speakers
+ 4 lights
+ Water jumps through the lights whenever audio rises
+ Xbox 360 S (2G internal storage: Ugh)
+ Speakers connected to Xbox 360
+ Desk Lamp
Software:
+ rEFInd
+ Arch Linux
+ Plymouth
+ Systemd
+ i3-gaps (Me)
+ GNOME (full) (for rest of family)
+ NeoVim
+ XTerm
+ Cmus
4 -
I need a task queue for my life. A 'The Sims' style set of icons om desktop OS that breaks down into details, checklists, related pages I've visited/researched. cross platform so I can keep track on my phone.
I'm not to big to admit I need skynet to keep me on the tracks -
Just curious what done dev's would prefer screen wise for smart devices like watches and the like...
The long battery life of a colour e-ink display but have the muted colours.
Or an OLED screen with the high contrast and vibrancy, but with much lower battery?4 -
Nintendo...and their sins are trivial compared to the human QoL exploitations by big apps.
Take your pick:
https://youtube.com/results/...
Grew up as a total Miyamoto fanboy, RIP sweet prince. I'm not even complaining about the copy-paste mentality with their games (because they're still fun and polished)
I'm honestly confounded by their petty attempts to knick the pennies of youtube content creators; it's seemingly blind, principal-based pride. In a utilitarian sense, their behaviors are contrary to the big picture. So I just shake my head and game on desktop. GG. -
Currently have a client trying to hold a hosting renewal hostage, by suggesting we need to make posting more user friendly. It's the default WordPress post process.
-
!dev
Sometimes I feel like I should have been a girl.
I'd have been cleaner, tidier, more disciplined, had a definite life purpose, and handwriting that didn't look like a beetle dipped in ink crawling on paper.18 -
Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".
Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.
Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?
Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into. -
Vaping and reading cool stuff on a ebook reader I’ve recently reanimated: https://devrant.com/rants/9436126/...
By the way, ACM Queue is the only dev resource you need that isn’t a book. Forget about medium and hashnode.
6 -
We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...
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Fuckin shit web hosts! I must have wasted three hours over the past three days on support emailing, troubleshooting and waiting for a webpage to load. Is a decent host at a decent cost too much to ask for?
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Is it just me, or does objective c look like a bag of smashed assholes? It looks clumsy and verbose.3
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I was thinking today this app is missing messaging. There have been times I wanted to reach out to a specific user, without publicly chatting.2
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I decided to go for it, and build this chat GPT web-app. I built an authentication system for it crazy fast. While I’ve built several e-commerce websites, I’ve never actually owned one. What should I expect?2
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I wrote my first proper promise today
I'm building a State-driven, ajax fed Order/Invoice creation UI which Sales Reps use to place purchases for customers over the phone. The backend is a mutated PHP OSCommerce catalog which I've been making strides in refactoring towards OOP/eliminating spahgetti code and the need for a massive bootstrapper file which includes a ton of nonsense (I started by isolating the session and several crucial classes dealing with currency, language and the cart)
I'm using raw JS and jquery with copious reorganization.
I like state driven design, so I write all my data objects as classes using a base class with a simple attribute setter, and then extend the class and define it's attributes as an array which is passed to the parent setter in the construct.
I have also populateFromJson method in the parent class which allows me to match the attribute names to database fields in the backend which returns via ajax.
I achieve the state tracking by placing these objects into an array which underscore.js Observe watches, and that triggers methods to update the DOM or other objects.
Sure, I could do this in react but
1) It's in an admin area where the sales reps using it have to use edge/chrome/Firefox
2) I'm still climbing the react learning curve, so I can rapid prototype in jquery faster instead of getting hung up on something I don't understand
3) said admin area already uses jquery anyway
4) I like a challenge
Implementing promises is quickly turning messy jquery ajax calls into neat organized promise based operations that fit into my state tracking paradigm, so all jquery is responsible for is user interaction events.
The big flaw I want to address is that I'm still making html elements as JS strings to generate inputs/fields into the pseudo-forms.
Can anyone point me in the direction of a library or practice that allows me to generate Dom elements in a template-style manner.4 -
So a long time ago, I posted Ink lyrics from ColdPlay, and gave them a DevOp twist. I will post the full lyrics, as memorabilia and for a chill moment from rants:
Got access rules said "prod/maintainer"
Pulled in your change with my cli
And you wonder when you wake up
Did it build last night?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Feels like the pipeline, is broken inside
All I know
All I know
Is that I'm host
When company broke
AIl I know
Is that I love to code
So much that it hurts
Got a homebrew but the shell aint right, oooh, oooh
Just want a way of keeping docker alive
All I know, All I know
Is that the post
BreachForums indorsed
All I know
Is that the data is sold
So much that it hurts
I see that Forbes, and New York Times
They said my boss, began to fire
I see my console and Im mashing Ctrl-C
All I know
Is that loved to code
So much it -
Multiplayer 3D engine architects:
While building the inital engine of your team's renderer and network systems, what were the most helpful things members of your team could provide?1 -
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
PHP gurus / masochists.
I've been using Symfony components for new, isolated features in a legacy php application for awhile now. the time has come to integrate using the kernel, and routing for new endpoints while existing endpoints use the existing apache means of loading pages.
It's not my first rodeo doing this, but I'd appreciate any wisdom/resources/patterns you followed for anyone who's had to do the same.
My clients don't have the means to do hire the appropriate ammount of devs to do a proper port, so this is a long path towards modernization by ceasing to bolt on features to existing code and instead, when working on something, updating it to the new design pattern and then extending that, with a spec, documentation and code coverage.3 -
Has anybody ever had a question closed on stack overflow? How long before a review usually happens?2
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Is there any way to tell how much ink a printjob needed? I use my personal printer at home for a thing for work and they asked me how much money they owe me for that. Of course I could print until the ink is empty and divide by the number of prints I got but that would obviously be a huge waste.2
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I have an idea. I know right, countless unfinished projects. Seriously though I feel like this one has merit, worth finishing for once. I am a very skilled developer, but I suck at all the other stuff that’s required to run, or even start, a successful business. Any advice?4
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An update on my ai web app. It’s coming along nicely. The authentication piece is completely done. The question generation is halfway finished. I just finished the ask AI piece. It’s still ugly, but passable. I need to figure out marketing. It’s that much closer to being ready to show off.5
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Awesome feature by devRant...
You can't post your password in rants or comments... See:
My password is ***********
Try now! When you post you can see the password, but others will only see '*'.
-If you fell for this, u r a noob.16 -
Any web developer from Canada? Thinking to shift there next year... Just wanted to know the work culture and opportunities there..
-
Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less. -
@dfox I am not getting push notifications on my new oneplus 3t.... What to do?
I used android migrate feature to auto login apps from my last phone...9 -
I love and hate javascript. I set out to do a fully ajax/state driven form interface that operates with multiple interdependent data objects which all extend a base class.
React/Angular may have been a better call but I just didn't have time so I needed to rapid prototype in jquery /vanilla JS.
I'm in the midst of learning and refactoring all the ajax calls to promises and then to async/await, so it's a huge learning experience...
Meanwhile I've got to build objects to represent the data on the backend which is all legacy OScommerce/PHP
Hell of a ride. -
Just bought a pixel XL 2 yesterday, upgrade from Nexus 6p. Love this new phone. The internet hype over the screen was so inaccurate!
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I’ve built a ’self-serve’ inline-app/widget for our customers to book a moving quote appointment themselves. One of the ‘pages’ has a couple address autocomplete form fields. I went with a service called placekit, but used a CDN they offer. There is a more robust node.js library they offer, but couldn’t get it working. To be fair, I am completely new to node.js. I want to learn it, any recommended tuts, or readings? The company I work for is really invested in old technologies, we use SVN still. Does node play well with SVN? The IT lead for my department is opposed to connecting node to our DB, but I think we will be forced to for our upcoming automated testing project, it too is node, that’s what prompted my goal to learn it.2
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I think I'm supposed to start this with some kind of no rant tag, but I've never been good at following the rules. I just watched the first episode of the third season of Rick and Morty. Best ep I've watched yet!
That is all, go write some awesome code.2
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